THE STORM INSIDE BOX SET

BOOKS 1-4

ALEXIS ANNE

CONTENTS

Praise for The Storm Inside

—The Storm Inside Series—

Also By Alexis Anne

The Storm Inside

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Reflected in the Rain

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

When Lightning Strikes

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Never Let Go

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Epilogue

Also By Alexis Anne

About the Author

PRAISE FOR THE STORM INSIDE

“It was one of the best love stories I have read to date. The writing at times was so descriptive you could feel the love, pain, confusion and desperation between the characters.”

-Books Unhinged

“This book starts off with a BANG! Literally!! Their scenes together were so intense and the sex scenes were so hot, my whole body felt on fire.”

-Lustful Literature

“The sex was HOT! Jake melted me with his words.”

-Miscellaneous Thoughts of a Bookaholic

“I loved the writer’s portrayal of what life can throw at young love.”

-Brenda’s Book Beat

The Storm Inside Box Set

Books 1-4

By Alexis Anne

Copyright 2017 Alexis Sykes

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever.

Cover design by Alexis Anne

http://alexisannebooks.com/

Get my new releases in your inbox!

Vellum flower icon Created with Vellum

—THE STORM INSIDE SERIES—

Welcome to the big little city of Tampa, nestled into the heart of Florida along the salty Gulf of Mexico. This is where sun and second chances find love and sexy times. The Daniels family has baseball in their blood. The daughter of “Papa Joe” Daniels, Eve has taken up the family tradition along with her sisters Cassandra and June and gone to work for Major League Baseball... using her career as a shield for her broken heart.

Jake Spencer is from the other side of the tracks. Broken and abused his entire life, he’s risen to become one of the most prominent businessmen in town along with his best friend Greg Hamilton. Driven to succeed by their failures, these brothers in life don’t believe they deserve love... Until the sexy, powerful women of Tampa teach them otherwise.

The Books of The Storm Inside Series:

The Storm Inside

Jake and Eve

10 years spent trying to forget each other…

Reflected in the Rain

Jake and Eve

Happily ever after begins with I do…

Never Let Go

Jake and Eve

In sickness and in health. Love conquers all…

When Lightning Strikes

Greg and Maire

Single mom, grumpy workaholic…fireworks were inevitable

Summer Heat

June and Roman

He was forbidden. Taboo. Off limits. She couldn’t resist the temptation…

Night Games

Wes and Carrie

Baseball’s biggest player is about to get played.

Last Fall

Zoe and Erik

Zoe, the quiet writer, has a story she never plans to tell.

Erik won't quit until he knows every word.

ALSO BY ALEXIS ANNE

Steamy Baseball Second Chance Romances

The Storm Inside (A Jake & Eve Novel)

Reflected in the Rain (A Jake & Eve Novel)

When Lightning Strikes (A Marie & Greg Novel)

Never Let Go (A Jake & Eve Novel)

Summer Heat (A June & Roman Novel)

Night Games (A Carrie & Wes Novel)

Last Fall (A Zoe & Erik Novel)

The Storm Inside Series Box Set

The Wild Pitch Series Box Set

Mantas Box Set

* * *

Erotic Sports Romances

Reckless Kiss (A Leo & Esme Novel)

Reckless Love (A Leo & Esme Novel)

Reckless Nights (A William & Matilda Novel)

* * *

Small Town Contemporary Romances

Come For Me, Darling (A Ben Kaine Novel)

Go Away, Darling (A Chris Kaine Novel)

Kiss Me, Darling (A Scott Kaine Novel)

Third Time’s the Charm (A Last Fall Crossover Novella)

* * *

Erotic Romance (The World of Tease)

The Callaway Chronicles

Tease (An Adam & Elizabeth Novel)

Want (An Adam & Elizabeth Novel

King (a Race Car Driver Romance)

Crave (An Adam & Elizabeth Novel)

Naked (A Tease & Wild Pitch Crossover)

Need (A King & Isa Novel)

Vector Racing Box Set

The Sutherland Scandals

Tempt (Allison Riley & Theo Sutherland)

Burn (A Michael Sutherland Romance)

Secrets (A Nicki Sutherland Novel)

The Price of Fame Series

Stripped (A Rockstar Romance)

Sins (A Rockstar/Bodyguard Romance)

Lies (A Lily Lawrence Novel)

Complete Tease Series Box Set

* * *

The Complete List of Alexis Anne Books

Sign up for my newsletter!

THE STORM INSIDE

THE STORM INSIDE

By Alexis Anne

Copyright 2013 Alexis Sykes

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever.

Cover design by Alexis Anne

http://alexisannebooks.com/

-> Get my new releases in your inbox!

To Nate,

I love you more than the mind can hide.

And for anyone who’s decided to not let the past tell them how to live today.

PROLOGUE

Jake slammed my back into the wall of the shack, the boards of the wall bending and flexing from the impact. For a moment I worried we’d punch a hole right in the side of the building, but then Jake nipped my earlobe at the exact same moment he flexed his hips into mine, and I forgot everything I was thinking.

Everything but him.

I didn’t think about the ten years he’d been gone or how much I hated him. All I could feel was his hard body pressed up against mine, his rough hands as they desperately roamed over my skin, and the intensity in his kiss.

We’d always made an explosive combination—that clearly hadn’t changed. If anything, the added experience and time apart made what we’d had in the past look sweet and warm. Because this—what we were doing now— was off the charts insane. It was brutal and animalistic in the most fantastic way.

The afternoon thunderstorm was howling outside. It was my favorite time of day, and Jake knew it. The thing about Florida’s summertime storms was that you could feel them. When lightning strikes, the air crackles with electricity moving through everything around you. The moment it splits the sky, thunder vibrates so deeply it shakes the earth and every molecule in your body. You feel it everywhere.

Thunderstorms are a full body experience from the light and the vibrations, to the sound of the wind, the pounding of the rain, and the taste of the humidity in the air.

It’s like Mother Nature is trying to sweep you away in a symphony of senses. And at the moment I was swept away by both the storm and by Jake. I was completely lost to everything.

It had always been like this with us. Ten years hadn’t dulled it at all. If anything, the waiting only made it more intense than ever.

His hand closed around my jaw, turning my head away so that he could nuzzle my neck. As his tongue stroked upward along my skin, the muscles in my belly clenched and I squeezed my legs around him tighter.

“Oh god, Eve...” he moaned, pinning my hands to the wall and looking up at me with fire in his eyes as he continued to rock against me. The intensity with which he wanted me only made me crave him more. I ground back against his firm waist even harder.

Words seemed to ruin everything between us, so I wasn’t about to start talking now. I just panted, throwing my head back, and pushing against him with my hips to let him know I wanted to continue. There was no doubt in my mind how wet I was, my body was practically begging to have Jake back inside me.

Taking my cue, he released my wrists and slowly, silently, began to undress me, not that it took much. My bikini was held on by four sets of strings.

His eyes hungrily roamed over my naked breasts with a passion that made me shiver with hot desire.

Thunder rattled the roof as Jake stepped back, pulling me toward him with his hand knotted in my hair. The tug on my hair follicles hurt in the most fantastic way. He crushed his lips against mine and I would have cried out in pain if it hadn’t felt so good.

The one thing that kept running through my head, the one thing I couldn’t ignore any longer, was how badly I wanted this man. Every inch of me wanted to possess him. I felt like a tigress stalking her prey. Jake was mine and no one else’s. Always had been, always would be.

The shack was dank and old: there wasn’t a surface in the place that seemed clean or inviting, let alone suitable for our naked bodies.

Jake’s towel was flung over the back of a folding chair and with a quick flip of his wrist, the towel now covered the seat. I let him pull me onto his lap, my toes just barely reaching the floor on either side of him. His warm and sweaty skin against mine was electric and I gasped. I needed him inside me, now.

With one hand on his shoulder and my toes on the ground, I reached down, grasping the full warmth of his cock in my palm, and guided it right inside of my warm, wet, and throbbing body.

Jake gasped at my touch and I sunk my nails into his shoulder as a thousand sensations overwhelmed me, taking my breath away.

And that was just the first inch.

Jake was grinning at me through his own haze of pleasure. Cocky bastard. He was always so damn proud of his dick. But he had every right to be. It was long and thick, pink and perfect. Just the right size, really. Any bigger and it just wouldn’t have been fun, but too much smaller...Well, where was the fun in that?

His hands grasped my hips, taking control. I may have been the body on top, but Jake was in command, not just coaxing me upward, but actually lifting me with his strong arms, until he was just barely still inside me.

That’s when he started to tease me with very quick, short strokes. In and out. Each one making me gasp with pleasure, until he suddenly thrust upward, burying most of himself deep inside. I shuddered and moaned, realizing I could be as loud as I wanted, no one was anywhere near the shack on the water. We were as alone as two people could possibly be.

The air sizzled around us as another bolt of lightning struck incredibly close. I sank as far down onto Jake as I could, pushing hard until I was sure we were locked together. The way we should have always been.

He closed his eyes and let out a hiss, “Oh fuck I’m so deep inside you.” Then he buried his face in my shoulder, holding me tight against his body.

I began to rock. Just small movements at first as I got used to him. But then his warm mouth closed over my nipple and all hell broke loose.

I cried out as much with shock and pain as I did for pleasure. And when he used his teeth to gently tug, I cried out again. I went from being wet, to absolutely soaking, and Jake knew it. With one hand on my hip and one cupping my breast, we began to slam into each other. Over and over, the heat building, the sweat covering our skin. I felt Jake in every inch of my body. I could have sworn I felt him in my hair and my toes.

The only problem was that there were so many sensations, so much that felt so good, I couldn’t tell which way was up. That was when Jake stopped me. Brought me to a full standstill as his hands ran up the layer of sweat on my arms, over my shoulders, and tangled in my hair. He kissed me hard and the sensation of being still was actually as enjoyable as moving.

“Stand up for me,” he murmured, pushing my body upward. I could barely hear him over the rain.

He spun me around, then pulled me back down onto his lap. He slid right back inside as if we hadn’t moved at all, but now it felt completely different, moving in the opposite direction, gliding back and forth over the bundle of nerves just inside my body.

I went limp from the pleasure.

So Jake pulled me back against him, letting my head rest on his muscular shoulder, his hands roaming up my stomach to my own shoulders. He hooked his large hands over the top of them and pulled down on my body, forcing us even closer together.

I shuddered.

“Oh, baby, you feel so damn good...” he gasped breathlessly into my ear.

I didn’t respond. I just closed my eyes and let myself feel everything. His cock buried deep inside me, his chiseled muscles working against me, his warm breath on my ear, and his spicy scent in my nose.

He rocked in and out of me in short movements as his hands glided along my skin in the most reverent way possible. It was like he was worshiping me.

Then he cupped my breasts, bringing my nipples perfectly between his large thumbs and fingers. That’s when he started to play—teasing me gently, tugging and thrusting. I was flying high and completely lost to everything but Jake.

I never wanted to stop feeling like this. It had to be the most amazing combination of sensations known to man. I couldn’t catch my breath and I didn’t want to. I was putty in his hands and he was molding me into a work of art. I was reduced to a slick of hot sweat and incoherent moaning.

The thunder rumbled the shack again and the rain continued to pound on the roof. Just as Jake was pounding inside of me.

Oh yes, this was absolutely my favorite time of day: Fuck Me O’clock.

We went on like that for a while—savoring and pulling every last drop of sensation we could out of our time together. Making up for everything we had lost. Until I was sure my body wasn’t capable of any more.

“Come on baby. Give it to me. I want to hear you.” Somehow those words were exactly what I needed. It focused me and a fantastic warmth bloomed inside my belly. I started to pulse in the beginning of what felt like the most powerful orgasm I could ever remember feeling. It frightened me. I was positive it was going to hurt more than please. For a split second I even considered asking Jake to stop, but before I could think too much, the pulsing and throbbing took over. It washed out from my center, vibrating and contracting every muscle in my body.

I was so overcome by it I began yelling out incoherently, shouting god knows what, as I came powerfully around Jake, squeezing and savoring him inside me, and his body pressing up against me. I was barely aware of his own barks of pleasure as he followed me into oblivion.

When we were finally done, when we’d wrung every last drop out of our tired and ragged bodies, I collapsed against his shoulder again. All I could see was black. There was nothing left.

We laid like that for a long time, the sweat dripping from our naked bodies as we caught our breath. We stayed there long enough for the rain to slow and the thunder to move off into the distance.

Long enough for my brain to jump-start and realize what had just happened.

I had just made a massive mistake.

1

One month earlier...

I was in shock. There was really no other way to describe how I felt as I climbed out of my car, the end of another long workday, to find Jake standing on my front lawn.

Sixty seconds ago I was blissfully unaware my life was about to be turned upside down. I’d been happily driving home, singing, thinking about dinner, and then, bam! A big, fat, unexpected surprise jumped out of the shadows. A man I never expected to see again was standing on my front lawn, waiting for me to get home.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I yelled at him. I didn’t care who heard me. Shock was quickly transforming into blind, furious rage.

“I came to talk, if you’ll let me,” he called back. His voice wasn’t angry like mine, just amplified to carry over the distance and the wind.

“So talk,” I said shaking my head. This was absurd. Ten years. Ten years...and he thought he could just appear on my lawn? I let my arms fall to my sides, my blazer and bag each dangling from a hand.

The thunder rumbled and Jake waited for it to pass, shoving his large, gorgeous hands into his pockets.

Old memories of those hands roaming my body flashed through my mind. My stomach, my breasts, caressing my face...he loved to touch me any chance I’d give him. Jake was a toucher, he understood the world through his hands.

I started to panic—thoughts like that were dangerous.

“I’m sorry,” he called softly.

It made a little piece of me ache deep down inside where I still unconditionally loved that man. I knew part of me was his. No matter what happened or what he did, that piece of me belonged to Jake Spencer.

But the rest was completely heartbroken, even all these years later. “I hate you,” I said firmly. I meant it. I hated him. I’d given him everything: my heart, my soul, my life...and he’d run away. It didn’t matter that Jake was a screwed up kid from a screwed up family. It didn’t matter that running away from his life was a sane option. All that mattered was how he left—suddenly and without explanation.

Ten years.

You don’t leave someone you love—without any communication—for ten years and then suddenly show up on her front doorstep unannounced.

Who does that?

He took a step toward me and I took a step back, right into the side of my car. “Baby, please let me explain everything.” He was clearly upset, his brow was furrowed and his green eyes were dark. For the life of me I couldn’t get over his transformation. Ten years had done him good. The last time I saw him he was tall and lean—and by lean I mean he needed a good meal or ten. But he had always been strong. Despite his scrawny appearance his body was made of pure muscle, even then.

But now... Now he could get a job as a cover model. The wavy dark hair and flashing green eyes were deadly enough, but add in fifty pounds of new muscle and the designer suit he was wearing... he was fucking gorgeous. Not to mention he still had that chipped front tooth and crooked smile that promised he was someone who knew his way around.

And then there was the hint of a dimple in his right cheek.

My dimple.

At least that was what he used to call it.

Because I was the only one who ever noticed it. It was mine. When we were alone, away from the world and all the troubles that seemed to follow him, Jake smiled all the time. And I could never resist touching it—running my fingers over the soft, smooth skin of his cheek and down into the little dent. He’d smile even bigger and then grab me, kissing me hard. If I was lucky I wouldn’t escape from his hold for the next hour, not that I would have tried.

But that was then.

The air sizzled with electricity as the temperature dropped again. The storm front was approaching fast. It was just a matter of time before the rain hit.

“So talk fast, Jake Spencer.”

He pulled himself up straight, amplifying just how large and strong he was now. And damn it all, my body responded like a high performance engine ready to hit the racetrack.

“Can we please go inside before we get struck by lightning?”

“Only a handful of people die every year from lightning strikes. I think I’ll take my chances.”

He arched a speculative eyebrow. Jake was not amused. “Suit yourself, Eve.” He took another step toward me and I froze, I had nowhere else to escape to. My back was already pressed up against my car. I felt trapped and caged even though we were in my driveway out in the open. He sighed and rolled his eyes, “What the hell do you think I’m gonna do to you? I just want to talk.”

“You know, you keep saying that, but I’m not hearing anything useful.”

I think I pissed him off a little with that comment because suddenly his eyes flashed and the muscle in his jaw flexed. “Damn it, Eve,” he muttered, running his fingers through that gorgeous hair of his. Part of me wanted to reach out and run my own fingers through it.

I was an idiot. Obviously.

“Give me a damn good reason to listen to you.” I really wanted him to say something magical because I wanted to take him inside, sit down and talk like we used to. Pretend a decade hadn’t been lost. We would lay at opposite ends of the couch and he’d grab my foot, massaging it with his ridiculously large thumbs while he spoke.

His voice.

Oh, god his voice. It was actually better than I remembered it. Deep and distinctive with this deliciously rough vibration that reverberated through my body when he spoke.

“You know what happened that night,” he said softly while looking me in the eye.

It took my breath away. “Yes,” I said nodding. I knew he had his reasons for leaving, I just didn’t understand why he had to toss me aside like a piece of trash. “You knew how much I loved you, Jake...”

He squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his fist, “Baby, I am so sorry I hurt you.” His eyes shot back open, “You are the last person I have ever wanted to hurt, Eve. I will never, ever be able to make it up to you.”

Damn right he wouldn’t. Having the person you love disappear is like dying—and I never wanted to feel that way again.

Somehow he’d moved closer. I think maybe he was inching toward me as he spoke, like I was a wounded animal he might spook if he moved too fast. Hell, maybe that was exactly what I was. Maybe he was doing the right thing. But it didn’t matter. Either way I felt more and more panicked the closer he got. My heart was racing and it was getting harder to control my breathing.

“But you did hurt me. Why? Why couldn’t you call...explain...anything?” I asked shaking my head. The panic was getting worse.

He was only inches away now. The wind was really kicking up, tossing my dark hair around and blowing my clothing. I could smell him. It was the same, but different. The old Jake was like an undercurrent to the new one. They mixed and mingled and I had trouble separating the two. They were both intoxicating, weaving their way inside me and bringing back all of those old feelings of desire and need.

That was what it always was with Jake— need. I needed him, to be with him and around him. I needed his touch and his reassurance. When he was gone it was like I was empty. When he was with me, I was full. He was my drug and I could never, ever get enough.

He licked his lips and looked away as he spoke, “I was in a total daze. I barely remember Tom cleaning me up and taking me away. Next thing I knew we were in a hotel in D.C. while he got my paperwork together. Then I was in Iraq with him working on his contract.” He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, “It was months before I had my head on straight enough to really realize where I was and what had happened.”

I don’t know why I did it, but I reached up and turned his head toward me. I wanted to see his eyes. They were always the most expressive part of Jake. I could see a thousand things he’d never said in those deep depths. The contact of my skin against his was almost too much—it didn’t feel real. And when his eyes finally connected with mine again, I couldn’t breathe. There was a storm inside Jake: two opposing lives fighting to live in one body. There was the life he couldn’t quite leave behind, and the life he had created for himself. Jake was clearly a different person than the boy I’d last met, but inside him there was still that longing and regret. And it was all directed at me.

“Why didn’t you call?” I whispered. I was trembling. Maybe it was the adrenaline, maybe it was fear or desire, I had no clue. All I knew was that I was overwhelmed by it all and having Jake so close again was like an overdose.

Those green eyes of his drank all of me in, memorizing me. He searched my face, finally landing on my lips. That was when I realized how hard Jake was breathing. He placed his hands on the car behind me, trapping me where I was, Jake in front and around me, the car pressed up against my back. I had nowhere to go, nowhere to run, and no desire to do either.

His delicious scent, mixed with his expensive cologne, was making me dizzy and warm; but having him so physically close was really the killer. It made me completely paralyzed.

He swallowed, “Eve...I wanted to call. I can’t tell you how many times I stood there with a phone in my hands.” He was breathing even harder now and a real look of pain crossed his handsome face. “Can I please kiss you?”

I wanted to scream, “Yes! Oh, god yes, please kiss me. Take me right here against the car. I don’t care if my neighbors watch.” But instead I just stood there, staring at him staring at me. He looked like he wanted to devour me.

I wanted to be devoured.

He kissed me.

His soft lips pressed gently against mine and it was as if the entire world just stopped. Time ceased to exist. It was just his lips and mine, a perfectly chaste kiss, and yet he may as well have been inside me. I could feel him everywhere and my body ached for more.

Then he pulled back and pressed his forehead to mine. For a minute we both mourned. It was our one chance to cry and feel everything we’d been keeping back. I needed to feel it with him, I realize that now. He had been my soul mate, my very best friend, and no one else on earth could possibly understand how heartbroken I’d been when he left. This was finally my chance to connect with someone who truly understood my desperation.

And then he broke my heart all over again.

“Baby, you loved me too much. I would have drowned you if I’d stayed.”

I loved him too much? Was there such a thing? Could you really love someone too much?

“Fuck you, Jake,” I whispered hoarsely. He was tall and strong and overwhelming. I needed him away from me, and yet I couldn’t bring myself to push him away. I’d finally gotten him back...

He shook his head, our foreheads still pressed together. His voice cracked when he spoke, “I knew you were better off without me, so I stayed away. I wanted you to move on and make a good life for yourself. I was no good for you, Eve.” He pressed his forehead harder against mine and squeezed his eyes shut, “I didn’t want to stay away, darlin’, believe me. The only place I’ve ever wanted be is here, with you.”

That set something off inside me. It was like an explosion detonating right at my core. I placed my hands firmly against his chest and pushed as hard as I could. He took a deep breath and stepped back, his head low as he looked down at me. I wanted to scream and punch, but what I really wanted to do was strangle the bastard. “Then why didn’t you come home?” The anger was in control and I had absolutely no desire to rein it in. Rage felt pretty damn good. “You don’t leave the people you love. We would have figured it out, Jake. We would have.”

He shook his head and his eyes hardened, “No. I didn’t have the tools to deal with my life. I needed help, real help, and that’s what I got. I worked my ass off for the last ten years to create a whole new person. As much as you loved me, Eve, you couldn’t do that for me. And if I’d tried to do that here, with you, it would have ruined us. I promise you that.”

It hurt, really it did. To have someone you loved so much tell you that you weren’t enough. And as all that sank in I finally began to wonder...why was Jake here? He’d already let ten years pass—what had suddenly changed to bring him home? A feeling of dread quickly crept up inside me. My skin tingled and the hairs on my arm shot up. Or maybe we really were about to get struck by lightning. “Why are you on my lawn, Jake?”

“I’m back,” he said simply. But it was so much more complicated than that.

“Back from the dead, back for a vacation... what exactly do you mean?”

“I mean I live here now. I have an apartment and a business and my life is back here in Tampa.”

I was dumbfounded. Finally, after years of wondering and wishing, Jake had decided to return home... and it was the worst news I could think of.

I had finally, finally, gotten over him. I had a good life, good friends, and a fantastic career. I was happy. Sure, I wasn’t married with a house full of little munchkins. And no, I hadn’t fallen in love with anyone else. But I was happy.

Jake was misery.

And I knew without a shadow of a doubt having him back in my life would lead to more pain and heartbreak. It was just what we did to each other. We were too much.

Maybe he was right when he said I loved him too much. Maybe he loved me too much too. The two of us together were self destructive and blind. We blocked out the world and allowed ourselves to be consumed.

I didn’t care what he’d done in the last ten years. He was still the man who broke my heart and left me behind to pick up the pieces.

There was absolutely no way I was letting someone like that back into my life. Happiness wasn’t something you could find on every street corner. It had taken hard work and I would be damned if I’d let this cocky son of a bitch just show up, say a few magic words, and have me eating out of the palm of his hand again.

“Oh, so I’m good enough for you now?” I bit out the words like they didn’t belong in my mouth.

Jake just about burned a whole through me with his stare. His eyes were dark and smoldering with a fire so hot it scared the pants off me. He was rigid, like every muscle in his body was suddenly tensed, and a vein in his neck bulged. “No, I am.” He said it so softly, so firmly, I could tell it had taken every ounce of strength in his powerful body to say it. “I wasn’t good enough for you. You don’t hurt the ones you love, and you don’t use them to make yourself feel better. That was what I was doing to you, Eve. It wasn’t right. Maybe leaving wasn’t right either, but it’s what happened. Like it or not, I left. But I’m back now, and I’m ready to be the man you deserve.”

“Leave.” I said it so fast even I didn’t believe I’d said it at first. But as my brain and my body caught up with each other I knew I was right. My instincts knew Jake was a black hole of pain. “This isn’t going to happen, Jake. You and I are done. We are the past and I need you to leave. Now.”

He studied me, those careful green eyes seeing something because after a moment his entire expression changed and his body relaxed. “All right,” he said, cocking his head to the side and looking at me pointedly. “I’m sure I’ll be seeing you at some point. Tampa’s a small town, darlin’.”

“And yet... you’re going to stay as far away from me as you can.” I forced a smile and winked.

Jake chuckled, “We’ll see about that.”

I pointed at the old orange Ford Bronco parked at my curb. Jake had lovingly restored it in college. He’d taken the top off and replaced it with a removable rag top. The inside was coated in the same liner they used in the beds of pick-up trucks. It was his baby. He’d loved it because it was as rough and durable as he was. And that thought just squeezed my heart more. I knew how much Jake had been forced to overcome. I knew what had happened the night of our college graduation and why Jake had to run. I knew all of this and yet I still couldn’t forgive him. “Go.”

He nodded and winked at me, his cocky half-grin showing off his chipped front tooth. It all made me melt just as stupidly as it always had. There was just something about Jake that was different from anyone else I’d ever met.

I didn’t move a muscle until the Bronco pulled away and he honked the horn.

He was gone again, and that thought would have broken me if I didn’t also know without a shadow of a doubt that this was just the beginning. That was not the last time I would be seeing Jake Spencer.

2

It had been three weeks since Jake’s unannounced visit to my house. I hadn’t heard from him since, which I was relieved about, but he was constantly on my mind. That’s what happens when old ghosts show up on your doorstep. They bring back old memories, make you relive the past, and wonder about your decisions. I was going over every piece of new information I’d gotten from him, trying to figure out how it fit into the puzzle that was my life.

It had taken a while—my defenses were up at first. I was angry and upset. But then it started to fade and I was able to actually hear the things Jake said on my lawn. Jennie had helped, too. She was my best friend and roommate. She’d helped me tease out the details.

The big ones being he’d had issues. Great big giant ones that really did need time and professional help to solve.

He hadn’t wanted to leave me.

He’d wanted to be with me as desperately as I’d wanted him here.

But it didn’t change facts or reality. We’d been madly in love once and it ended badly. I knew I didn’t want to live through a Jake Spencer broken heart ever again.

There was just one problem. One giant, glaring problem.

In the ten years since Jake had left, I’d never loved anyone else.

I’d dated.It wasn’t like I’d just sat around pining for my long lost love like some graying spinster. I’d even gotten pretty serious once. Sebastian Monroe was a fine man who had been good to my family and me. My sisters adored him, he and my dad got along great—even my mom was taken with him. He was tall, dark, and dashing. We were extremely comfortable with each other and I couldn’t have asked for a better man in my life. Sebastian was as pure hearted and upstanding as anyone could ask for.

But I could never bring myself to say I loved him.

The stark difference between my feelings for Jake and my feelings for Sebastian lead me to break it off before he proposed. I couldn’t live a quiet, stable life. I needed fireworks. I needed my pulse to race every time he walked into the room. I needed my body to groan every time his skin touched mine. I needed his voice to make my heart stop.

Sebastian did none of those things.

As much as I liked him, I didn’t love him.

As much as I enjoyed sex with him, it didn’t rock my world.

But that was the best I’d come across.

It had only taken Jake moments to do to my body what no one else had managed in ten years. And that thought alone was driving me crazy. I couldn’t get it out of my head.

Nothing had changed—not in that department. Ten years and I still had that same visceral response to Jake that I had the first time I met him all those years ago.

My reaction had been so intense and so different I had never forgotten a single moment of our first week together. I’d never been boy crazy, in fact I was worried there was something wrong with me.

Everywhere I looked my friends were frantically losing their minds dating. They had crushes and were losing their virginity, meanwhile all I could see were silly boys I’d rather not touch.

Then Jake walked into my life and everything changed.

I don’t know if it was love at first sight (I’m really not sure what the heck that means) but he took my breath away. Everything else fell away and there was only his handsome, smiling face. Then he looked at me and I saw that same shocked look in his eyes. It was an instant connection and we were immediately drawn together like two magnets. He was as blind to the people around us as I was.

We spent nearly every minute of the next week locked together in a quiet conversation that only made sense to us. We talked about everything—it was the strangest thing. Somehow in a single sitting we could move from movies to politics to religion; all while smiling and touching and caressing. And the kissing... I thought kissing was a little bit gross until Jake kissed me. Then I couldn’t get enough.

Every moment with my body pressed up against his was ecstasy.

Every moment we were apart was hell.

We’d known each other three days when he pulled back from a long, deep kiss and stared into my eyes. I couldn’t breathe when he did that—I could see forever in his eyes. A look of fear flashed across his face, he squinted his eyes just a little bit, and murmured a question. “Are you seeing anyone else?”

Was I seeing anyone else? Did anyone else exist? “No,” I whispered.

Jake relaxed and melted against my body beneath his. He swallowed and dipped his head down, tracing an invisible line up the skin of my throat. His breath was warm as he whispered in my ear, “Be mine and no one else’s?”

It was the most terrifying and wonderful thing I had ever heard in my life. I wanted Jake like I’d never wanted anything and hearing his frantic plea that I be his...

“And will you be mine?”

His grin split his face in two, “I already am.”

I kissed the soft spot on his cheek where his invisible dimple was peeking out, “Then yes.”

A knock on my office door brought reality crashing down on my memories. I looked up to find my boss standing in the doorway. Josh Norton was a few years older than me, handsome enough: six foot, thin, a little mousy for my taste. But he was a great boss. He’d taken me under his wing from day one, specifically tasked to make me part of the team. It had been an undertaking considering my first day was only two weeks after Jake’s grand exit, but he had handled it brilliantly. We’d been friends ever since.

“You ready for this?”

I looked down at the stack of proposals. I was Director of Fan Experience for the Tampa Bay Rays, the Major League Baseball team based out of St. Petersburg, and we were adding a new tailgating and pre-game experience outside Tropicana Stadium. For the next three hours Josh and I were going to be listening to the formal presentations for these proposals. I had my favorite, it was the last one, and I hoped the presentations matched the paperwork. I didn’t like it when my expectations weren’t met.

“I’m not looking forward to my ass falling asleep, but otherwise I’m prepared.”

“Good,” he smacked the papers he was holding against his hand. “Let’s get this over with. I have a dinner date with the last presenter and he’s taking me to Bern’s. I’m gonna bleed the sucker dry.”

I laughed. Bern’s was a local favorite. A very cool restaurant with a nice high price tag. “I take it your favorite is also the last one?”

Josh made a face and held up his fingers, “The first one is way overpriced, the second one is pointless, but the third one is both interesting and on budget. It’s just right.”

“And paying for dinner.”

Josh grinned. “Exactly. I’ll see if he’s willing to bring my Director along, too.”

I rolled my eyes as I stood up, “I’m sure I’ll manage to find food on my own.”

The presentations went just as we predicted and Josh and I spent more time trading insulting text messages than actually listening to the bland presentations.

That was until Presentation Number Three showed up.

I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me whole. He was tall, dark, and Jake. My eyes flew down to the paperwork in front of me. Spencer, Hamilton, and Associates was the engineering firm and sure enough, the Chief Engineer was listed as none other than Jake Spencer.

How had I not noticed his name? I was apparently so taken with the plans I hadn’t bothered to look at anything else. The devil was in the details, not the plans.

Josh shot to his feet, greeting Jake enthusiastically.

I stayed glued to my seat like I was strapped in by a five-point harness. Jake casually looked over Josh’s shoulder, his smoldering stare pinning me against the padded chair. He looked amazing. His three-piece suit was a light shade of gray and his green tie set off his eyes and tan skin.

He looked edible.

Damn it.

I swallowed and tried to stop myself from blushing. The way he looked at me was positively possessive and I could feel the heat surging under my skin.

“We are just so thrilled the head of Spencer, Hamilton, and Associates himself came out to do the presentation. We don’t get that very often,” Josh prattled on.

Jake’s eyes never left mine. “No, I’m sure you don’t,” he murmured. “But this is my pet project, the Rays have had a special place in my heart since my college days.”

Damn. Him.

“Oh, really?” Josh asked, oblivious to what was happening.

“Papa Joe was like a father to me.”

I shot daggers at him. How dare he bring my father into this? Josh spun on his heel, “Then you must know our Eve.”

I forced a smile onto my face and finally stood, “Oh, yes. Jake and I go way back.” I tried to only shake his hand tersely, but that wasn’t what happened. His fingers managed to wrap around mine in a soft but demanding way that sent a tingle so charged up my arm it took my breath away.

Josh looked from me to Jake and back again, “Okay...”

I snatched my hand back, “Presentation. Let’s get this over with.”

Jake moved to the head of the conference table with a ridiculously proud smile on his face. The fucker saw how badly he threw me for a loop. He had planned it all along.

I remembered how calmly he’d left my driveway three weeks ago. He’d basically warned me he’d be seeing me again soon. Stupidly I’d taken it as a general off-hand remark, not an actual scheduled meeting. Tampa was a small city and from the looks of his company, Jake and I would be seeing each other from time to time.

It only took him a moment to take over the projector, bringing his presentation to life. He was smooth and confident. And damn it all, but I could have watched him talk all day. I loved the sound of his voice and found myself closing my eyes just to absorb more of it.

I missed it. Those deep, rough, gentle vibrations were like a lullaby soothing my soul.

I’d already read the proposal and I knew Jake was brilliant. I didn’t need any more information than that. Paying attention to the details was purely optional.

What I was learning, however, was how very, very different Jake was from the boy I used to know. The boy I’d loved in college was terribly damaged. He was social and fun, but had an incredible lack of confidence. He was probably more screwed up than anyone I’d ever met before or since. And yet I’d loved him with everything I had despite his inability to function like a normal human being. I’d never met anyone smarter.

But he hadn’t understood how wonderful he was. And every time we were outside our little bubble, he struggled to function. He was full of doubts and incapable of recognizing his own genius. If I hadn’t watched over him he’d never have graduated despite being able to ace every test he’d ever taken.

He was that smart.

And that screwed up.

But not anymore. He was smooth, confident in his brilliance. I had a feeling I could ask him anything and he’d answer me with a smile. Ten years ago he probably would have mumbled something, thrown in a few swear words for effect, then stormed out of the room.

He really had changed.

I felt such a strange mix of happy and sad. Happy was really the dominant feeling. Jake deserved to be happy and to be brilliant. I was really glad he’d finally managed to find peace in that.

But it made me incredibly sad to know getting there took ten years on the other side of the world.

Away from me.

God, that thought hurt like hell. It was like this hole in my heart was ripped open every time I thought about it.

Jake grinned and winked at me from the front of the room. I glanced at Josh and realized he was looking down, jotting notes on a notepad. He hadn’t seen anything. Jake was flirting with me mid-presentation with my boss happily oblivious.

I snapped my attention back to Jake who was still talking as if nothing had happened, a huge, proud smile plastered to his handsome face.

He was a seriously cocky bastard. For some reason I was shocked by that. Really, I shouldn’t have been. Jake was always cocky. Truth be told, it was one of the things I loved about him. There was just something about a guy willing to take his chances... it drew me to him like a freaking moth to a flame. But this... he was taking cocky to a whole new level. It was in every fiber of his being now. He oozed it. Cocky wasn’t something he pulled out sometimes and used like a tool—it was who he was at all times.

And damn it all, I loved it. My heart was doing that stupid school girl crush pitter-patter thing and yep, sure enough, I was tingling between the legs. I wanted the bastard.

I think ‘drug’ was a good description for Jake. I wanted him. I knew he’d be a fantastic high while he lasted. But it when I came down off that high, I would crash and burn.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Josh look down again. His pen was waggling away as he scribbled more notes.

Jake smiled, all suave and seductive, and his eyes smoldered. He was practically beaming sexual thoughts directly into my brain.

Who was this man? I didn’t know this Jake at all.

It happened before I could stop it. My mind took a trip down memory lane, desperate to find an answer to what happened between Jake and me. It went straight to that night. The night he left me.

I’d done a damn fine job of constructing a beautiful, elaborate wall in my mind. Behind it I hid all things Jake. Behind that wall was another wall where I kept my memories of graduation night. It had been an eye opening experience for me. It had shaken me to my core and opened my eyes to a world I really had no idea existed.

I didn’t know a parent could really and truly not unconditionally love their child.

I did now.

I hadn’t understood that some people, like Jake’s father, were so broken and damaged by life, so desperate to obliterate their hopelessness, that they were capable of lashing out and destroying everything around them.

I did now.

Because that night Jake hadn’t seen it coming, so he wasn’t able to get me out of his parent’s house before all hell had broken loose.

We were so happy, floating on a cloud of accomplishment and hope and promise. It had been such an innocent comment that started it all. Jake said, “I’ll make you guys proud, I’ll do all the things you weren’t able to.” He’d meant it in a good way. But Jake Sr. hadn’t taken it that way. To him it was an insult.

Jake’s father snapped. A curtain immediately fell over his eyes and it was like the man who’d been there vanished and was replaced by someone else entirely different. I’d never liked Jake’s father, he was always mean and angry, he thrived on intimidation, but that night I saw pure evil and I could honestly say I wished he’d died. He didn’t deserve to live.

It was like it was happening all over again in my mind’s eye.

Jake Sr. grabbing Jake and pulling him into a chokehold, sneering in his ear, “You fucking piece of shit. Screw you. I’ll put you back in your place.”

Jake’s eyes were wide and wild with fear. Not for himself, but for me. He knew what was coming and it was something he’d never wanted to touch my life.

I knew Jake usually let his father beat him up, it was easier to be the punching bag than to fight the inevitable. But not that night. I saw the fear and worry in his eyes as he fixated on me, and something snapped.

The fight that followed was terrifying. I’d seen fights growing up around ballplayers, but never anything like that.

It wasn’t a pissing contest or a fight over a woman. This was a fight of desperation. It was a fight for survival.

The only thing that stopped Jake from killing his father had been Tom. He was close enough that when I called, he’d been able to get there in time. He pulled Jake off his father who was beaten unconscious at that point.

He was wild. I think a lifetime of blame and abuse had finally reached its boiling point and Jake simply couldn’t take it anymore.

The minute he focused, Jake ordered me to leave.

The next day he was gone and everything changed. No phone calls, no explanations. Just gone... like we’d never existed.

I knew why he’d left. And really, I couldn’t blame him.

I was glad his uncle had gotten him help. I even saw the wisdom in a change of lifestyle. But I didn’t understand his logic in abandoning me, and that was what I couldn’t seem to get past. At the very least he could have given me a choice. I think I hated him for choosing for me.

I was in a total fog and somehow when the presentation was over I agreed to join Jake and Josh at dinner. I don’t really remember the drive, I was pretty lost in my head. St. Petersburg, or St. Pete, as we actually call it, is on the opposite side of Tampa Bay from the city of Tampa. They are sister cities and between the two of them they provide the area with a little bit of everything. Neither city is huge, but both sprawl for miles and miles. In St. Pete there’s more of a small town atmosphere and the only sports team is the Rays. But on the Tampa side there’s football, hockey, concert venues, and a casino. I loved my little cities.

But somehow I saw none of this on my drive over the bay. I drove on automatic; following Josh the entire way, not that I didn’t know how to get to Bern’s by heart.

As I sat and waited for the valet to take Josh’s car, my door opened and a familiar hand reached in for me.

It was kind of surreal to see Jake so many times after all these years. The picture I had of him in my head was quickly transforming from the scrawny man-child who needed a haircut and something in his wardrobe other than t-shirts, into a strong, confident, put-together man.

“Thanks,” I muttered grabbing his hand.

“My pleasure. Thank you for coming.” He blocked my path so that I couldn’t move without pushing past him.

I threw my hands on my hips in frustration, “Aren’t you going to move?”

The corner of his lip pulled up in a smile that matched the delight in his eyes, “Do you need your purse?”

I rolled my eyes and huffed as I sat back down and grabbed my purse out of the passenger seat. There was no way I was bending over and giving Jake an eyeful of my ass. He stood there chuckling to himself, leaned casually against my door as the valet finally came around and handed him my ticket. I stood up and snatched it with an evil glare. I may be sympathetic to Jake’s past and more than a little confused by my feelings toward him, but I was not confused by who was in charge here.

But as I stamped in a very un-ladylike huff in through the restaurant doors I realized how wrong I was about that. Jake chose this restaurant on purpose—he was very much in charge of this evening.

We had a lot of memories here. It was one of my dad’s favorite places for big celebrations. We’d eaten here with my family on multiple occasions, and alone a few times as well.

One anniversary in particular...

It was our third. We’d both just turned the magical twenty-one and could legally drink in public. We felt so grownup going out to a fancy dinner just the two of us and splitting a bottle of wine. They’d sat us at a tiny table for two on the main floor. Dinner had been foreplay. Every bite and sip was a sexual suggestion.

And then we went up to the dessert floor.

A very special feature of Bern’s was the second floor—devoted entirely to dessert and dancing. There were secluded booths for each party, all different sizes to accommodate everyone, and in one room was a piano with a singer and just enough space for a few dancers.

We ordered my favorite: apple pie and cinnamon ice cream. I was a dedicated chocolate fanatic, but the cinnamon ice cream was my one exception. It was like crack and I couldn’t resist ordering it. While we waited for it to arrive Jake pulled me out to the dance floor. The pianist was having fun playing a polka and we had fun dancing along.

Jake was a good dancer, he had a natural rhythm but no training, he just knew how to move. And after three years I knew how to move with Jake.

“Any requests?” the pianist asked looking pointedly at us.

Jake grinned and whispered something in his ear. The pianist smiled and winked at me, “We have a very special couple dancing up here tonight. They’ve been adorable and I just found out it is a special night for them. Ladies and gentleman please help them celebrate their third anniversary!”

There was light clapping from various booths across the floor and Jake pulled me tightly against his firm body. He tilted my chin up and gazed lovingly down into my eyes. He was smiling.

“Here is their song...” the pianist struck the first chords of Can’t Help Falling In Love and Jake mouthed the words while we swayed together.

I always heard a strange mix of the Elvis Presley and UB40 versions of the song in my head. It was to the UB40 version Jake first told me he loved me. And just like that night he dipped his lips down to my ear and whispered, “I can’t help falling in love with you.” It sent a shiver of pleasure over my sensitive skin and made my body ache to be locked together with his.

He wove his fingers between mine and pulled our hands up to his heart, pressing them firmly against his chest. “I’ve never been so happy being a fool.”

I laughed and snuggled into his chest, “It’s fun being a fool,” I agreed. But even then, somewhere in the back of my mind and heart, I felt the dread. We were so happy, but it had a limit. We both knew there was a dark cloud hanging over our happiness. Every one of those beautiful moments was always tempered by a pang of sadness.

After the song we returned to our private, dark booth and dove into my ice cream. Ice cream, it turns out, was even more sexual than food and wine. Before I knew it, I was gasping. Jake’s hand was between my legs and he was working his magic.

“Take a bite,” he ordered with a smile. His eyes were flashing and glinting with mischief.

I sucked in a deep breath and shakily scooped up the creamy white ice cream flecked with cinnamon. It melted on my tongue as Jake’s fingers flexed and teased.

“Lick the spoon.”

I smiled and did just as he asked.

Jake groaned.

I came.

We’d gone straight home from there and spent the whole night tangled together.

We’d been fools. That much I knew was true. But even with a broken heart I still remembered that night fondly.

Bern’s was distinctive and imposing, dark reds and wood dominating everything from the moment you walk through the door. It was hard not to put every single one of those memories into their place as I glanced around.

“Miss Daniels! It is so good to see you, it’s been a while,” Marcus, the head waiter chastised me.

I nodded absently, feeling once again overwhelmed by, well, everything.

“And Mr. Spencer, I see you’ve requested a table for three this evening. It is ready and waiting, if you’ll follow me...”

I glanced from Marcus to Jake and back again. Marcus knew Jake by sight, as if he knew Jake.

“You’ve been eating here often?” I asked under my breath.

Jake smiled, looking as confident and comfortable as ever, “I like the food here and most of my clients seem to enjoy being taken out for a nice meal.”

I stopped dead in my tracks. “How many clients are you bringing here? How can you afford this?”

Jake stopped beside me, placing his hand gently on my elbow and urging me to continue walking. “I hardly think this is the time or place to be discussing my financial situation.”

I glanced around at the happy dinner guests and realized Jake had a point. Not one I liked, but I certainly couldn’t fault him for not wanting to discuss his business beside a table full of Japanese tourists.

We were shown to one of the quieter side rooms. They were nearly private and excellent for conversation. At the moment I wished Josh wasn’t with us. I had suddenly been hit by a wave of curiosity about Jake and I certainly couldn’t ask the questions I really wanted to ask in front of my boss.

So I kept my big trap shut, sitting quietly as we ordered wine and appetizers. I observed. For the first time I started to put things together. Both times I’d seen Jake he was well dressed in gorgeous designer suits. He was the first named partner in his engineering firm. Sure he was still driving that stupid Bronco around town, but what had he driven today? I stopped to think about my blind drive over the bay and I couldn’t remember seeing the orange beast. In fact, I seemed to remember a very throaty and nice looking F150 leading us on our journey. Was that Jake? How did he have not one, but two trucks, designer suits, and money to burn at one of the nicest restaurants in town?

Who was this man?

Thankfully Josh helped me on that.

“Jake, how are you enjoying living in Tampa again? I hear you and your partner have been taking the city by storm.”

He chuckled and leaned casually back in his chair, “You know, it’s nice to be back. I’ve missed the humidity.”

“Is working over in the Middle East as hard as they say?”

“It is,” Jake said. “You live and work by a different set of rules. But it was good for me, straightened me out.”

Josh seemed to think it was all well and good, nodding and drumming his fingers on the table. It was one of his telltale signs I’d come to know well. When Josh was leading up to a bigger question he had a routine. Leading questions, feigned agreement, drumming fingers... and then the real question on his mind. “And the money? I hear they make it worth your while.”

Bingo. Josh was fishing for information. It just so happened to also be the information I was looking for. I couldn’t help but hang on his answer. Jake’s eyes flicked to mine for a brief moment before he smiled stiffly and looked back at Josh. “Yes, the money can be very, very good depending on what you’re doing.”

“Your partner, Greg, he said you made a few key investments that helped get the new firm open.”

Jake huffed, “Greg has a big mouth. Yes,” he nodded, looking back at me again. It was as if he was as desperate to share pieces of himself with me as I was to hear them. “I got lucky. A friend of mine came to me with a good idea. I invested and not long after, it took off. The kid just sold it for a mint.” He paused for a moment looking temporarily uncomfortable talking about himself. “I also helped another friend develop a key piece of technology. She was able to sell it to a military contractor that is developing similar forms of technology for the government. It was that investment in particular that made me very rich. I was able to bankroll most of what Greg still needed to get our firm off the ground here.”

“You’re a lucky man,” Josh said.

“I suppose I am,” Jake said suddenly looking grim.

Luck was such a strange and relative term. Was Jake lucky? That was probably the last thing I’d ever say about him. If he was as well-off as he sounded, it wasn’t by some great turn of fortune. It was more like a payback for the years he’d already lost to a life he hadn’t chosen.

He caught me looking at him. The moment he saw the look in my eyes, he stiffened. No, there was no luck at this table. Luck would have been Jake finding a way to stay, or a way home to me sooner.

“So, you and Eve... what’s the story?” Josh asked the inevitable question. He really had no idea what he was asking.

Jake’s eyes flicked over to me, silently asking if he should talk or if I wanted to take control.

I swallowed hard, pushing down the confusion I was feeling inside and looked over at my boss. “Jake and I dated in college, actually. All four years.”

Josh’s jaw dropped open. His eyes went so wide there was nothing but black from his pupils dilating. He knew exactly who Jake was. Everyone who worked in the front office at the Trop ten years ago knew who Jake was. Papa Joe had not taken his daughter’s heartbreak very well. Not to mention I’d started working there two weeks later. The sad girl who moped around the hallways and cried through her lunch break every day tended to get a reputation. One I had gladly lost over the years. Being known as ‘The Crier’ was not something I’d enjoyed very much.

Josh was actually shocked into silence. But his stare was deadly. And it was saying everything he was thinking.

Jake cleared his throat and sat back, his eyes wandering back to me for a moment. “It was a helluva long time ago.”

Josh finally closed his mouth and looked right at me. “Does Joe know he’s back?” He stuck his finger out at Jake.

I shook my head. The only other person I’d talked to was my roommate Jennie, the one who had helped me pick up the pieces after Jake left. She was a child psychologist and, while I wasn’t a child, her knowledge and wisdom had been essential in me pulling my act back together.

Josh reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone.

“What are you doing?” I asked him, knowing somewhere in my gut he was about to call my dad.

“Joe laid down the law. Anyone who sees that,” he stuck his finger back out at Jake, “is supposed to call Joe immediately.”

I put a calming hand on my boss. I was really touched he and everyone else I worked with cared about my family and me so much, but this was my problem to deal with. “Josh, please let me handle this. I’m not twenty-two anymore, I don’t need my dad to kill my shit boyfriend for me.”

Jake winced, I saw it out of the corner of my eye, but he didn’t say anything.

Josh looked confused by my logic, glancing from me to Jake and back again. “Are you really okay with this? We can leave right now if you’re not.”

I smiled to reassure him, “No, I’m fine. Jake and I have talked and,” I paused to take a breath, “we’re fine.”

We were not fine.

But for the purposes of this dinner, and for the sake of Jake’s life, I would pretend. And the truth was things were okay. Not fine, but okay. I was confused and I was wary, but the meeting and sitting here at the table with him had shown me I was perfectly capable of functioning in social situations with this man.

Alone was another story. We weren’t doing that again anytime soon.

Josh slowly put his phone back away, “Well... if you’re sure.”

I nodded reassuringly.

Josh turned back to Jake and gave him a cold stare that even scared the piss out of me, and I knew how sweet Josh typically was. Thinking of him in any other way seemed impossible, but that stare stopped me cold. “I will be watching you very, very closely. One toe out of line and I’ll have the entire Rays line-up beat the crap out of your useless body.”

And the thing was, that wasn’t an empty threat. Baseball players were funny creatures, but very manly. They’d love nothing more than to defend my honor, so to speak.

Jake nodded slowly, his green eyes deadly serious as he spoke, “Trust me I understand completely, Josh. I will never, ever hurt her again. I can guarantee that.”

An ache developed in my chest as I watched him talk. How could he guarantee that? I knew with absolute certainty having Jake around me would lead to more. And more would lead to heartbreak. It was just what Jake did to me. It wasn’t his fault I loved him so deeply, so completely, there was no choice but to give him all of me. Just as it wasn’t his fault that he loved me so passionately he couldn’t control it.

But then his stare swung over to me. He looked deep into my eyes and straight into my soul the way only he could. I swear he could see all of me. I was naked in front of him, it didn’t matter what I hid or wore, this man could see all of me. So when he spoke it wasn’t just words, it was a promise between his soul and mine. “Ten years ago I ran away from my demons. I’m back to make those demons afraid of me.”

The waiter returned with our appetizers, but Jake didn’t look away. He had me trapped with his eyes. They were smoldering and intense, undressing me slowly and caressing my skin, the heat between my legs was pulsing.

Whoever this man was, he was a strange mix of the man I had loved and the man I always knew he could be, plus something else entirely. Something unexpected. He was darker and more intense, he knew what he wanted and I had the very distinct impression he never took ‘no’ for an answer. This Jake got what he wanted. Period.

Panic ripped through me again. I didn’t like this feeling, the concept he would win me back against my will. That I had no choice in what was going to happen between him and me. “Excuse me,” I mumbled, clumsily standing up and tossing my napkin on the chair. “I need the restroom.”

Josh didn’t seem to notice the look of panic in my eyes, but Jake didn’t miss it. His intense green eyes silently watched me as I left the room.

But I didn’t go to the restroom, I ran to the kitchen. It was open and guests were welcome inside, but on a tour. I wasn’t with a guide, so I stopped dead in my tracks, looking around. A chef smiled at me warmly as he looked up from his work. For some stupid reason that made me giggle and I wandered over to the fish tanks like I belonged there.

Poor ugly fish were hours or minutes away from being someone’s dinner. I felt like one of those fish. I had been happily swimming along, blissfully unaware danger was right around the corner. Jake wanted me for his dinner and I wasn’t sure how I was going to keep him from killing me.

A throat was cleared behind me. I expected to see one of the many waiters ready to request I leave the kitchen until a proper tour was scheduled, but instead, as I turned around my eyes fell upon Jake.

He was like a kid, no matter where I ran he kept turning up with a smile on his face.

“I didn’t mean to scare you away.” He kept a good five feet between us and his hands behind his back. He was making a conscious effort to seem safe and non-confrontational. “But I did want you to know how serious I am. Nothing about me is the same and I have every intention of righting every wrong I made before I left.”

He was wrong about one thing, there were many things about him that were the same. His smile was the same, his voice, and his heart. It may have been scared and buried beneath layers of crap parenting, but I’d seen it then as clearly as I could see it now. And Jake had a truly good heart.

Didn’t make me any less terrified of loving him.

“Did you pick Bern’s on purpose?” I asked. I noticed how straight he always stood. It gave him an extra air of confidence and control.

“Yes,” he said flatly. “I told you, I’m taking my life back. All of it. Even if you don’t want me back, I’m damn determined to make sure that’s what you want. I want you to be absolutely positive. Doubts will tear a person in two—trust me on that one. So, yes, I chose this restaurant on purpose just like I chose to pitch to you myself. I’m not going away, but I’m not going to force myself on you either. I didn’t expect you to fall into my lap and forgive me. This is gonna take time. Time I am more than willing to invest. Because it needs to be done right. When you tell me you don’t love me, I want you to know it with every fiber of your being.”

Crap.

3

I took a sip of my red wine and sighed as I looked out over my backyard. It was shady, surrounded by a mix of coconut palm trees and eureka palms. Hibiscus and other colorful flowers were intermittently dispersed, a water fountain soothingly dribbled in one corner, a small vegetable garden was in the other, and a covered hot tub sat just off the porch.

I loved my backyard; it was calming. My lounge chair was the fancy kind—weather-resistant wicker and big stuffy cushions. The kind that got soaked and nasty if they weren’t in a relatively covered location like my wide, covered back porch. The sun was setting and Jennie and I were having an after dinner treat: wine and chocolate.

“I brought the bottle, you are going to drink until you spill your guts!” Jennie said, plopping the bottle down on the table between us and flopping into the chair beside me.

“Ha!” I replied. Eloquent, I know, but typical for me when it came to talking about my feelings. It was not my forte, to say the least. For some reason when it came to translating what was going on inside my head, the words seemed to get stuck somewhere between my brain and my mouth. Apparently facial expressions and gestures weren’t enough.

“Seriously, Eve, if you don’t start saying something, there’s going to be trouble. You are going through a major life event and talking your way through your emotions is the best way to identify your true feelings.”

I took a long drag of my wine and let it burn its way down my esophagus to warm my belly. “Said like a true psychologist, my dear.”

Jennie snorted, “Thank you?”

In many ways Jennie and I were opposites. Where I tended to be logical and over think things, Jennie was a daredevil, willing to try anything. She was a leap first, look later, kind of girl. I tended to stand on the side and carefully find the best solution. She got me to take chances, I got her to slow down and think.

Jennie was bubbly, I was not.

Jennie was blond, I was brunette.

But she had a point. I hadn’t said much about what I was thinking and really, I could use a second opinion.

So I took another big swig, refilled my glass, and turned toward Jennie. She grinned wickedly, her blue eyes twinkling with excitement.

“So, at dinner last night he made a couple of big speeches...”

Her grin grew even larger, she looked like the Cheshire Cat, gripping her glass with both hands and leaning closer, “What did he say?”

Why was talking so hard? It was like turning a rusty gear. Sure it moved with enough force, but it was hard, took a lot of muscle, and wasn’t very smooth. “Round One involved something about how he would never hurt me again.”

Jennie started nodding enthusiastically, “That’s good! He’s reassuring you.” Her positive outlook on Jake was mildly annoying. From the moment I first told her Jake stopped by she had been gushing about us getting back together. Her professional opinion was that he had done the logical thing: removed himself from a bad situation and worked on processing his troubles. Now that he was better, he was reintegrating into society and starting a new life.

I hated her professional opinion.

“Whatever,” I muttered gulping some more wine. It was starting to do its job—the warm fuzzies were reaching my brain. “Then he explained to me what he wanted.”

I paused there because I knew Jennie was going to agree with Jake. I didn’t want to hear her positive take on things.

Jennie swung her legs around and sat up, “Spit it out!”

I grumbled for a moment before giving in, “He says he’s not going away until I am absolutely sure I don’t love him anymore. He says otherwise the doubts will keep eating at me.”

Yep, Jennie was grinning like a fool. I rolled my eyes and grabbed for the dark chocolate.

“Eve... he’s being smart. You never really moved on—and don’t sell me any crap about Sebastian. I’m your best friend, I know the difference between love and contentment.”

My eyes flicked over to her blue ones, “Maybe contentment is what I should be looking for.”

Her face fell, the blue of her eyes deepening a shade or two, and a frown pulling down on her delicate lips, “No, it’s not. You of all people do not need a content relationship. You need someone as passionate as you are. Someone who can keep up with you and handle your crazy.”

That stopped me in my tracks. I paused mid-chew, the saliva pooling under my tongue until I had no choice but to swallow. “Are you suggesting I find a man who can handle me?”

Jennie tried not to smile, really she did, but the more she fought it the more she giggled until she simply gave in and doubled over in laughter. At me.

“This isn’t funny!”

She looked up at me, still laughing, “Oh yes it is!”

I huffed, “Seriously, this isn’t helping me!”

Jennie stopped laughing immediately and sat up, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye and taking a deep breath. “No, I know it’s not. I apologize.” She grabbed her glass and took a sip, taking another deep breath before looking back at me with a calm and serious expression. “I am not suggesting you need a handler. That came out all wrong. But I do think you need someone who understands you. Sebastian never understood you—he tolerated you. He was amused by your quirks, he indulged them, but he didn’t get them. You will never, ever be happy with someone like him.”

She was right. That was why I ended things with him. The lack of excitement and passion in our relationship had felt like drowning. I needed air. And for me, air involved someone who needed adventure and was willing to die for the things he cared about. I needed the male version of Jennie. “Maybe you and I should just give up on men and get married to each other?”

Now Jennie frowned, “Don’t take this the wrong way sweetie, but you are so not my type. Not even a little bit.”

Well, she couldn’t blame me for trying.

With my lecture complete, Jennie swung her feet back up onto the lounger and leaned back with her wine. “I think you should spend some time with Jake. Not anything that makes you uncomfortable, maybe in a group setting. Give yourself a safe place to get to know him again.”

I hated when she said something smart like that. Because the truth was, I did want to spend time with him. As much as it terrified me, and as sure as I was that Jake was the embodiment of pain, I desperately wanted to be near him. I wanted to know who he had become.

“Fine.”

I saw her smile out of the corner of my eye, “He left all of us behind, you know. It would be nice if the whole gang could see him, get a chance to catch up.”

“You told them?”

She sighed. I could hear the exasperation in her voice. My inability to deal with the Jake situation was driving her crazy. “Yes I told them. They were... excited to hear he was back and doing well, but they didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. They all agreed to wait and see what happened with you. We love you.”

Intellectually I knew all of this, but my brain was having trouble seeing things clearly. “Fine, if a situation presents itself for Jake to come see the gang, I will make it happen, per doctor’s orders.”

“Good. Now drink,” she commanded.

* * *

I wandered into the suite owned by my family at The Trop. It was empty. My parents never came up for games and none of my friends had asked to use it tonight, which wasn’t unusual. Wednesday night games weren’t the most popular with the working crowd.

But this was my job. Baseball wasn’t just what I did forty hours a week, it was in my blood. I’d grown up on the fields. Dugouts were my playhouses, clubhouses were where I’d steal buckets full of pink Bubalicious Bubble Gum and sunflower seeds. The guys were my secondary fathers and ‘uncles’, their wives watched over my sisters and I as we got lost under bleachers collecting whatever we could find in our empty Bubalicious Bubble Gum buckets. When there were other kids they were our cohorts in trouble.

Having the light dusting of clay on my clothes and skin was comforting. So was the bizarre mix of hot dogs, popcorn, and beer. I loved the sound of the crowd and the crack of the bat.

I’d been an okay softball player, nothing great. Not like my sister Cassandra. She played through college and even piddled around professionally before hopping over to the corporate side like me.

Working in the industry was a given for us. Our dad was a legend. “Papa Joe” Daniels had been a celebrated third baseman for the Twins before switching sides and becoming a scout. He had a natural talent for identifying a player who could handle himself on the field with a booing crowd, bases loaded, two strikes, and the game riding on their shoulders.

Joe joined the Rays when they became an expansion team. My dad was a favorite with fans as a father figure, carefully watching over his recruits and guiding their careers. It was how he’d gotten his nickname.

I looked out over the crowd—my crowd—and enjoyed being alone with my thoughts. Jake now occupied them all the time, even during working hours. I had to give it to him—his plan was working brilliantly. I hated he was manipulating me so easily. But I liked his logic. We both needed to know without any doubts. There was no more room in my life for regrets.

I’d rather he just stayed away, and I had a strong suspicion that if asked him to, he would. But he’d already done the damage, planting those seeds of doubt deep inside my brain. If I asked him to leave me alone I’d hear his voice in the back of my head, years from now, whispering are you sure?

Damn him! Damn him to hell and back.

And damn Jennie for agreeing with him. I felt outnumbered. Like no one was on my side.

Well, actually that was wrong. My family was on my side. Every single one of them had told me to slice his balls off. But their support was reactionary and not terribly helpful.

I kept going back to the beginning. Back to us before he left.

I had been young and in love. And incredibly stupid.

Love was an emotion, and I’d been totally and completely in love with him.

Die for him, have his babies, grow old with him, love.

I knew it was special. Sebastian and I never had that. I cared about him, but I wouldn’t have dropped everything to be with him. I appreciated him, but I wouldn’t have died for him. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to have his children. It was the kind of loving relationship that makes you think it’s love because there are so many wonderful things that went along with it. He was sweet, he took care of me, he respected me. We shared a lot of the same interests and hobbies. He liked boating and fishing, and was more than happy to indulge my food fetish.

But it wasn’t earth shattering. I wouldn’t have torn myself to shreds to save him. I wouldn’t have given my life for his happiness.

I would, and did, all those things for Jake.

I didn’t think I could live through doing it again.

Which was why I needed to find a way to end things with Jake once and for all. To move on in a healthy way that would allow me to find real love with someone I could trust.

We were in the third inning when I heard his voice from somewhere down the hall.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize—” Jake said.

Sam, the security guard, replied, “How do you not know that? Have you been living in a hole?”

Jake chuckled, “Something like that.”

He was standing across from Sam, casually dressed in a Rays t-shirt and dark jeans. He looked good. Casual was a very good look on him. The dark shade of blue made his tan skin stand out and his green eyes seemed greener.

“Can I help you?” I asked, startling both Sam and Jake.

Jake’s jaw fell open with surprise and he took a step back, his eyes widening. He was obviously not expecting to see me. But that didn’t stop his eyes from roaming up and down my body, drinking me in. My body instantly responded to his attention, heat flushing up into my chest and down between my legs. I wanted him to want me, to know what he’d given up when he left.

What he couldn’t have back.

I was extremely glad I’d decided to wear my favorite jeans and custom made Rays t-shirt. It accentuated all of my assets. Assets that I stupidly wanted him to enjoy seeing.

“Sorry, Miss Daniels. This guy was trying to sneak into the suites. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of him.”

I touched Sam’s arm to stop him from grabbing Jake, “Don’t worry, I’ve got this.”

Jake and Sam both shot me a quizzical look. Sam because it was his job to deal with morons, and Jake because I was going against everything I told him I wanted. “Ma’am, are you sure?” Sam asked.

I let my eyes wander over Jake from top to bottom, letting my instincts rule my decisions instead of my head. My instincts wanted Jake to stick around. “He’s an old friend of the family. I promise he’s just an idiot, not a security threat.”

Jake frowned at my insult, but didn’t interject.

“Alright...” Sam replied, looking both of us over carefully. I’ll be on the radio if you need me.”

I waited until Sam was gone before I looked back at Jake. “Did you really think you could just waltz into the suites, Jake?”

He shrugged his shoulders, “I’ve got a bit of a learning curve to make up for. A lot has changed.”

I looked at him pointedly and crossed my arms, “You lived here for a full two years after 9/11. You should know this type of security is standard.”

He sighed, “Eve, I know this is hard for you to understand, but that was a lifetime ago.”

More like two lifetimes ago. “Well, you can’t just wander around the luxury suites like you own the place.”

His lips quirked up at that and a mischievous look twinkled in his eyes. “No, that’s your job.”

Really? He was going there?

In college Jake and our gang of friends teased me mercilessly. Not only about the way I acted at the stadium or around the team, but how the staff treated me. I knew it was all in fun (my friends certainly enjoyed the benefits that came with being a friend of Eve Daniels) but it had always succeeded in getting me good and pissed.

“Do you really want to start with that? Here I thought we were being friendly...”

Jake’s smile didn’t waver in the slightest, “Not at all, friend.”

Something about the way he said that word physically hurt. We were not friends. We would never be ‘just friends’. He was my best friend.

The minute the thought flitted through my brain I froze. Jake was my best friend. Not anymore.

Suddenly my mind was flooded with snapshots of Jake and I, not as lovers, but as the close friends we always were. No one had ever understood me the way Jake did. Things other people found annoying or strange, he always found adorable or simply one of my unique and fantastic qualities. There was no one else I ever turned to when I needed to be understood—not even Jennie. “Were you coming to check out our suite?”

He nodded, his eyes searching my face, wondering what was going on in my head. “I’ve been taking a tour of my past.”

Our past.

I waved for him to follow me, “Come on. It’s empty.”

A lot of memories accompanied the two of us into the room. We’d been to so many games over our four years together. Sometimes alone, sometimes entertaining family friends, sometimes partying with our own friends. All in this suite.

We’d had sex in this suite.

My eyes flew to the bar—we’d had sex behind it once. My belly quivered at the memory, taking my breath away. It had been quick and exciting—and had led to a problem for us. Apparently we had an exhibitionist streak, and it all started there, behind the bar. My eyes shot around the room, remembering sex against the wall, on the chair… his hand on my jeans between my legs when no one was looking. I couldn’t count the number of orgasms he’d given me between these walls.

I swallowed, trying to suppress my body’s reaction to the memories, but it was too late. I was breathing heavy, a deep throb between my legs, and shiver of desire washing over my skin, wanting to be touched.

It made me incredibly aware of Jake’s presence—his size and his warmth radiating out in the little room. Wherever he moved, I could feel him. There was a push and pull between us as our energies collided.

“Hasn’t changed,” he murmured, his eyes dark with their own sordid memories.

A bat cracked down on the field and the crowd cheered, drawing our attention to the field. It was a fly ball, center fielder caught it and sent it back in to the pitcher.

“Nope. Some things don’t change,” I murmured, watching him out of the corner of my eye.

His head snapped around to look at me. “True enough.” His eyes searched mine, asking for more, but I didn’t give it to him.

“We can sit and watch the game for a while if you like.” I wanted to hold on to these feelings, the magical way my body felt just from being close to him. The black emptiness that always haunted my memories was disappearing.

Jennie was right, I needed to spend time with him. It was the only way I was going to process my feelings. Being alone with him probably wasn’t my wisest decision, but I was trying desperately to follow the advice she’d given me. And seeing him at my place of work, even alone like this, seemed strangely safe.

“Sit,” I demanded moving down the row and propping my feet up.

Jake hesitated, but then did the same. “I missed this, you know.”

When I didn’t reply he sat quietly watching the game.

Another high pop fly sent the crowd cheering. The inning was over.

Cue the uncomfortable maneuvering. We were both quiet for a few minutes as we watched the crowds below us rearrange themselves.

Just for a moment, I allowed myself a fantasy. The opportunity to picture myself happy with Jake. Maybe we could be together. Maybe we’d make it work this time. And maybe he’d run at the first sign of trouble. He claimed he wouldn’t, but do any of us really know what we’re capable of until we’re knee-deep in the situation?

And that included me. But I knew the answer to that. Anything that involved Jake also involved me losing control. I’d tried to keep from losing myself to him, but I just wasn’t capable. Jake was too powerful, his presence too strong for me. He was my weakness.

And he was right. I loved him too much. I always would. It wasn’t healthy.

It was for that reason I could never let myself fall under the delusion we could be happy together. Eventually something would take it away. He wasn’t the kind of guy I could recover from again.

“How’s Papa Joe? I hear he finally retired.” Jake didn’t turn to look at me as he spoke. He kept his eyes trained on the field in front of us.

I pushed away my brief fantasy and focused on dealing with my present.

“Dad’s good. I don’t think he knows what to do with himself, but he’s good. He needs a hobby.”

Jake chuckled, looking down at his hands. “I can’t imagine Joe with time on his hands. How is your mom taking it?”

“My mom is a mess right now. Dad is home and June started college this year. She refused to come home for the summer.”

Jake’s head snapped around, his green eyes meeting mine. “You’re kidding?” he gasped.

I shook my head slowly, “Nope. June is really taking a stand on the whole independence thing. So, needless to say, my dad has gotten a free pass for the time being.”

“Poor Junebug.”

“Ha! I don’t know who to feel more sorry for, June or my mom. They are going to kill each other.”

Jake just shook his head, his eyes lingering on mine as if he didn’t want to look away. He’d fit right in with my family from the start. Knowing about his crappy home life they’d taken him in as one of their own. He’d been a part of everything we did. He came home with me on holidays and long weekends, went out with us when we were doing things, and on vacations. He’d been the brother my sisters never had.

And he’d broken their hearts, too, when he disappeared. Not just because he broke my heart, but because they loved him and knew why he had left. They were as heartbroken as anyone that Jake’s demons had driven him away.

“Cassandra?”

I sat up and leaned on my knees so I could look over at his beautiful face. The face that would never be mine again. “Married and living in Boston with a three-year-old boy named Teddy, and one on the way.”

“Oh my god.” His reaction was just as I expected. If he’d been here, Jake would have tormented Cassandra’s husband. For as rough and laidback as Jake was, Timothy was groomed and tight-knit. Jake would have put him through his paces, made him earn Cassandra’s hand. Been the good big brother.

“Yep.”

“Boston? Seriously? June and Cassandra are both gone? Mara must be losing her mind.”

To say the least. I’d been steering clear of my mom for months. “Timothy, Cassandra’s husband, actually has my job, but up in Boston for the Sox. Cassandra is taking a permanent leave of absence for the next five or so years, and Junebug is at Yale. So, while mom is crazy, she’s at least concentrating all the crazy up in the northeast.”

“Are we taking bets on how long it is before she buys a condo?”

I laughed at that one. “No.”

A comfortable silence descended between us. It was nice, actually.

We lasted two full innings that way.

“You like your job?” he asked. I had a feeling he’d been working his way up to it for a while by the way his fidgeting had slowly ramped up to a full vibration.

“Love it.”

“Good.” He finally calmed down. “I’m glad you found your spot. You were so worried before graduation about not fitting in.”

“True. It took me a little while, but it worked out. Josh is awesome and we work well together.”

I could remember those nights lying on Jake’s chest while he stroked my hair. I whispered my confessions against his warm skin. My fears of not fitting in, of being accused of my father getting me my job.

“You earned it, Eve. All on your own.” He’d reminded me.

“Doesn’t mean people won’t talk.”

“So give them something to talk about.”

Jake was probably the strongest person I’d ever met. He always saw a solution, no matter how dark or impossible the situation. It was like he was missing the gene that allowed people like me to see the possibility of defeat.

Even with my broken heart I’d remembered his words during my first few months at work. I’d kept my head down and worked my ass off. I’d done a damn fine job and worked my way up to director all on my own.

I looked back at Jake. He was studying me as if he was debating whether to tell me something.

I raised an eyebrow, “Something on your mind?”

He shook his head and sighed. “I’m sorry I blindsided you the other day at the presentation. I’m really not trying to be mean. I just know you won’t see me if I don’t make you.”

I came to a complete standstill. My heart stopped, even my breathing. I hated hearing him say things like that, as if I were someone he needed to manipulate. He looked away, back at the action on the field.

“Did you miss me?” I blurted. Something deep inside me needed to hear him say it again. I was too overwhelmed when he first came to my house. His words were still echoing in my ears, but they felt like a dream.

“Yes,” he replied simply. He didn’t look away from the field, but I saw the muscles in his neck and shoulders stiffen and his jaw lock in place. “You were my best friend, Eve. I loved you. You were the only good thing I’ve ever had in my life.” He paused, his muscles working, “I lost all of that when I left... Of course I missed you.”

“I think that’s what hurts the most, Jake.”

His green eyes swung to mine, they were deep and dark, so sad it broke my heart all over again. Would we ever stop hurting each other?

He didn’t say anything. He just waited for me to explain.

“You were my best friend. I told you things I’ve never told anyone. We did things together I’ve never done with anyone else.” The truth in that confession felt particularly exposing. It showed him just how profoundly he’d affected my life then and since. And I saw that realization flash across his face. “I let you know me in a way no one else knows me... and you left me. You didn’t say goodbye, you didn’t explain... you just left me.”

The energy between us was quickly shifting, twisting into something new. It felt good. We were talking and dealing with the hurt and resentment. It was helping to have those words out in the air between us.

“That’s why I’m here now. To fix this. You didn’t deserve to be hurt by my demons, but you were. And I’m going to fix it.”

I didn’t have any idea how that was possible, but I was beginning to see the wisdom in the advice I had been given the night before. “Jennie says you’re right, that I need to know for sure.”

Jake watched me intently, waiting for me to work out the things in my head.

Finally I said what I didn’t want to, but I knew I needed. “We’re having a dinner party at our house tomorrow night. Come over and we’ll see if we can get through a meal together.”

His eyes lit up. “Challenge accepted.” He said it so fast it was like he had been waiting and begging for the chance.

4

“Should we have a code word?” Jennie asked. She was being entirely serious, too.

“Like purple rain is falling outside?” I asked, expecting her to laugh.

Instead she scrunched up her face as she thought long and hard about it. “No, no. It should be no more than two words. Like Rumpelstiltskin.”

“Rumpelstiltskin?”

She nodded vehemently, “Just say that, and I’ll know to have him thrown out on his backside. Ricardo will do it in a heartbeat.”

That was a fact. One of our best friends was Sylvia Garcia. She had been a steadfast friend and early member of our ‘gang’. Two years after we graduated she fell in love with, and married, Ricardo. He’d taken it upon himself to become the big brother of the group. He was fiercely loyal and had very set ideas on how women should be treated. He’d watched over all of us single ladies. If I needed it, Ricardo would gladly step in and rescue me.

Tonight’s little fete was our once a month get-together for international food and drink. Jennie and I were hosting this month with a Brazilian theme. Jennie had gone all out, even redecorating the house. Besides Jennie, Sylvia, and Ricardo, there would be Jennie’s friend from work, Heather, and her girlfriend Sharon. And of course, Jake.

I still wasn’t sure if inviting him was a brilliant ploy to move on, or sheer stupidity.

“Did you taste the chimichurri sauce?” she asked.

Had I tasted it? Yes. Had I thought about drinking it? Quite possibly. “I put a bowl aside with my name on it. Touch it and die.”

Jennie laughed. “Shall we reward ourselves for all of this hard work with a toast?”

“Here, here!” I agreed. The drink of the night was Caipirinha, a Brazilian rum cocktail we usually made for our weekend boating trips. It was delicious, cool, and could knock you on your ass if you didn’t watch how much you were drinking. We’d made them weaker that usual for tonight since it was the middle of the week and we all had to be up for work in the morning.

“I’ve got a date tomorrow night...” Jennie drawled as she clunked her glass against mine.

“Really? Who is the lucky guy?”

I could tell by the flash in her eyes and the flirty way she was flitting about that Jennie was excited. “His name is Andrew. I ran into him at lunch today and he asked me out.”

“What does Andrew do?”

She grinned, “He’s a lawyer. Criminal defense. And he’s hot.”

Which for Jennie meant lean and extremely clean-cut. She and I could not be more opposite in that department. We both liked them tall and dark, but where I liked them rugged and down to earth, Jennie liked them well-groomed and high-class. I wanted a guy who would spend the day on my boat. Jennie wanted a guy to take her to dinner and dancing.

A lawyer sounded just right.

“Where is he taking you?”

She beamed, “Mis en Place.”

Crap, he would probably last a month, tops. If he was starting off at one of the nicest restaurants in town, he was trying way too hard. He was peaking too early. It wasn’t love at first sight—it was extreme compatibility at first sight.

At least she’d have fun while it lasted.

The door opened and all our guests started pouring in.

Jake trickled in last.

He looked a little shy at first, getting the lay of the land. I watched him from the comfort of my corner. He was dressed in a white linen button down with the sleeves rolled to the elbows and dark jeans. His dark hair was wet and brushed back like he’d just taken a shower. He was just sexy. That was all there was to it.

Jennie flitted over to him, taking the bottle of red wine he offered and kissing him on the cheek. They whispered a few things to each other, Jake’s face serious while Jennie smiled.

Jennie said something else and Jake finally smiled, his dimple appearing. I was instantly transported back to the night I first realized I was in love with him.

It had been a night like this, in this room, actually. It looked different back then, pre-renovation. We had a giant old square coffee table and a ratty old couch, a crappy rug on the floor. It was game night. Three different games were going on and all our friends were lounging around, drinking and talking smack.

Jake was sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table playing Risk. He was having a great time. I was curled up on the couch behind him, watching while I read a book. He was wearing a white t-shirt and jeans, not entirely unlike tonight, but he had on a baseball hat.

He was wearing it backwards.

His skin was tan, like it was now, and he was grinning. It had taken my breath away. He was so handsome and so happy that night. His eyes had been alive and his dimple... for that one night it seemed to be on his cheek permanently. All of his coloring was so perfectly in balance... he was perfect.

I couldn’t take my eyes off him. I tried desperately to memorize every single thing about him. And I had never forgotten. Not the sound of his voice, not the rumble of his laugh, not the way he looked at me.

I had never forgotten the moment he turned to me with those bright green eyes and I knew I was in love.

My whole body suddenly ached, as if it were crying out in mourning for that moment. It actually hurt. A real visceral feeling I could quantify. Love wasn’t just an emotion; it was a full body experience. One I was clearly not over.

I stayed on the edges watching Jake interact with our guests. They kept him busy for a full thirty minutes before we transitioned from appetizers to dinner. We ate in the living room around the coffee table. It kept the conversation flowing and casual.

Sharon and I were in a deep conversation about the merits of organic food when Jake came up alongside us. Every hair on my body stood straight up. Jake was like a lightning rod directing all the energy around us.

“The food is delicious, Eve. Did you cook?”

I smiled weakly up at him. My heart was racing uncontrollably. “Some. I made the chimichurri sauce.”

He nodded, his eyes drifting casually between Sharon and me. “It’s fantastic.”

“Thank you,” I said softly. Being near him was setting all of my senses on fire. Good and bad. Happy and sad. I was an emotional hurricane.

“Your mom’s house looks a little different. You’ve been busy.”

I took a deep breath and looked around the living room. I was so proud of my renovations. “It was a good way to keep me busy for a few years.”

He nodded thoughtfully, dropping his eyes and clearing his throat, “Yes, well, it’s amazing. I’m glad you’ve been able to keep it. I always felt like this house was yours.”

As strange as that sounded, I agreed completely. As a child visiting my grandparents here I’d known this house would one day be mine. It felt like home every bit as much as the house I grew up in. My mom inherited it two years before I started college and with the little house on Davis Island’s so close to the University of South Florida, it was a no-brainer. Jennie had moved in with me and a year later, Jake did too. Sylvia had lived with us one year, and a rotating list of our other friends over the years.

This house had always been the center of everything. And to a certain extent, it still was.

“Did you ever build your library?” he asked.

My heart skipped a beat. If there was anything I loved as much as Jake, it was my library.

I waved. “Follow me.”

Jake’s eyebrows shot up and he fell in line behind me.

“I’m gonna get another plate,” Sharon called shaking her head. She knew better than to get between Jake and me.

I opened the door to a room that sat on the back of the house. The dark wood door matched the dark wood and brown leather of everything inside. On the right wall were tall dark bookshelves stuffed with books, knickknacks, and pictures. At the very top was a transom where light spilled in during the day. On the far wall was a bank of French doors that opened up onto my back porch. Above the French doors was another transom. I could pull the heavy dark red curtains and still have a delightful glow of daylight in my library. It was one of my favorite features.

The floor was dark wood that matched everything else in the old house from the forties and covering that was a thick red oriental rug. A long leather ottoman stood in the center of the room with a matching couch on one side and mismatched armchairs on the other. Blankets were draped over every available corner.

On the left wall was my enormous wood desk surrounded by more bookshelves. It was the exact library I dreamed of having.

“Just like I pictured it,” he murmured.

“Sometimes I spend all day in here.”

He nodded and walked quickly around the room, “It’s like being inside your head.”

The temperature in the room dropped. The electric pull between us was stronger than ever.

To say I was confused was an understatement. I hated the man standing across the room from me just as strongly as I loved him.

“We should get back to the party,” I murmured, turning and leaving.

“You’ve done amazing things with your life, Eve.”

I paused, part of me wanting to turn around, sit down on that comfy leather couch, and talk to my former best friend for hours. But I knew I couldn’t do that. It would hurt too much. “Thank you,” it was barely more than a whisper. My heart was being strangled by my rising emotions.

“You are very welcome.”

I took a deep breath and rejoined the party.

We kept our distance for the rest of the night. I never had to say ‘Rumpelstiltskin’ or ask for Ricardo to throw Jake out on his backside. In fact, I was feeling pretty good. Yes, I was attracted to Jake and I mourned the loss of his friendship as much as I ever had, but all of it was surprisingly manageable.

Until my phone rang.

Things were put in motion that were about to change all that.

“What’s wrong, sweetie?” Jennie asked. She was buzzing hard, a permanent grin affixed to her pretty face, and a non-stop stream of babbling pouring out of her mouth.

“That was Dad. He and Mom are hopping a flight to see June.”

Jennie frowned, pulling her brows down. “Oh no. Is everything ok?”

I shrugged. “Probably. Apparently mom didn’t like the sound of June’s voice.” Everyone chuckled good-naturedly at my mother’s over-protectiveness. I probably shouldn’t have said what I said next, but I’d had a few drinks and I was relaxed. I didn’t think about the potential ramifications. “They were planning a cookout this weekend and all the food is going to go to waste, he asked if we wanted to come down and use up the food for them.”

Jennie’s face lit up immediately and she started a ridiculous bounce. “Oh, yes! Let’s get the whole gang. We haven’t had a party at your parent’s house in what... two years?”

I nodded. “Yep, since Max destroyed the guest suite.”

Jake’s eyebrows shot up, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Jennie shook her head. “Oh no. The party got seriously out of control. Stephen got lost on the beach and we found him asleep in a sand dune the next morning. Sylvia—”

She and Ricardo groaned, “No, please don’t remind us!”

Jennie grinned. “These two knuckleheads had sex on the boat and passed out. Luckily the shoddy anchor job held. And poor Max...” Jennie looked over at me with the saddest eyes. She had the worst crush on the poor lunk head. He was an artist at heart, but usually veered dangerously close to rock star status without actually achieving it. His band had played for hours that night and somehow managed to trash one of my parent’s guest houses. Joe made the boys come back every weekend for a month to help the contractor piece it back together and redecorate it. Not to mention he made them pay for it. “Let’s just say he’s never lived that night down. Joe didn’t let him come for Thanksgiving that year.”

It was the perfect weekend to get away. The Rays were on the road until Tuesday, so my schedule was completely flexible. Maybe a nice weekend away with my friends would be fun.

Then Jennie said what changed everything. “Jake, you should come, too! You can see everyone that way!”

My heart stopped as all eyes, even Jake’s, swung over to me.

Weirdness levels skyrocketed. We’d only just barely managed to survive a ballgame and a dinner party. Wasn’t a weekend away—at my parent’s house, filled with memories of our old life—pushing things too far and too fast?

Or maybe it was just what I needed. Push it hard and get it over with. If I was lucky, come Monday morning I would be able to confidently look Jake in the eye and tell him I didn’t love him anymore. That he and I could finally move on.

“Let’s do it,” I said firmly and before I lost my nerve.

Jake’s eyebrows shot up and cheers filled the room. Plans were quickly made, not that I listened to any of them. Jennie was taking care of it all.

Thirty minutes later the party started breaking up. Jennie and Sylvia were in the kitchen cleaning, Ricardo was putting our things back where they belonged and taking out the trash, Heather and Sharon had already left.

“You don’t have to come,” I said as I walked Jake to the door.

He had a sly grin, the kind that said he was more than happy to come for the weekend—and not just as friends. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world, darlin’.”

Darlin’. I swallowed at the way it sounded coming from him. Sweet and reverent. It promised to be both adoring and sexy. The way the letters rolled off his tongue and his voice gruffly vibrated behind them... it could easily change their meaning. I liked the way it sounded. I liked that it was directed at me.

Which was all wrong.

5

It was Thursday night and Jennie was out on her first date with Andrew. I told her to bring me home dessert. Meanwhile I was enjoying my evening alone. I had the music blasting, a pizza open on my bed, and I was giving myself a pedicure.

Because I was alone and expecting to stay that way, I was wearing dark gray leggings, a sports bra, and a giant racerback tank. My hair was piled up into a messy bun. I was twisted like a pretzel to reach my toes and singing at the top of my lungs, so I didn’t hear him come in.

Not until I saw him lounging in my doorway, watching me with a look of pure amusement. “What the hell are you doing here?” I yelled at Jake over the music. “You scared the shit out of me!”

That only made him chuckle. He’d clearly just come from work. He was dressed in a very sharp three-piece suit. Dark gray, pinstriped, and obviously tailored to his frame. My mouth went a little dry as I looked him up and down.

The twinkle in his eye said he’d seen my longing look. Crap.

I pointed at the remote just out of my contorted reach and Jake smiled more, shifting away from the doorjamb to lower the music.

“Sorry I surprised you. Having fun?” His amusement at my position clearly giving him fits.

I glowered at him. “I was supposed to be having a nice night alone.”

“I know. Jennie is on her date. She asked me to run by and grab some stuff for your parents house.” He paused long enough to give me stern look. “You keep the key in the same place. Don’t you think you should change that?”

I finished the nail I was working on and untwisted myself. “You could have knocked, or called, or texted. You do know how those things work, right? That isn’t on your ‘learning curve’ is it?”

I noticed as his eyes longingly wandered over my pizza so I picked up a piece and shoved it in my mouth, intentionally baiting him.

“Yes, Eve, I know how to use a phone. I will try to give you a heads up next time, though I must say surprising you is working out for me so far.” Cocky bastard. But he was right. So far his ‘surprise’ visits had earned him multiple occasions to talk to me, the obvious confidence of my best friend, and now, a few uninterrupted moments alone in my bedroom, of all places.

I threw my pizza at him, which he, of course, deftly caught and stuck into his own mouth. “Thank you. I was hoping you’d offer. I haven’t had dinner.”

It just pissed me off more. Who did he think he was waltzing into my house and asking for my pizza? “Well grab your stuff for Jennie and go get some.”

He didn’t seem to like my choice of words. His eyes zeroed in on me in a way that took me back. It wasn’t a friendly look—it was a lustful look. “Are you driving your car down?”

“Yes.” What did that mean? How else would I get to my parent’s house... wishful thinking?

“I’m taking the Bronco,” he said looking down, then suddenly back up and into my eyes. “You are more than welcome to ride with me.”

The idea locked my muscles in a death grip. I couldn’t think of a worse idea. “I think I’ll be fine in the car. With Jennie.” And her very, very safe conversation. There was no chance Jennie was going to try to sleep with me or make me fall in love with her.

He shrugged as if my refusal didn’t bother him and finished off the pizza. “Hot pink toes?”

His question annoyed me and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why he was in my bedroom. “It’s summer, I thought it would be fun.”

I watched as he looked around my room. When he’d lived here with me it had been one of four tiny identical upstairs rooms. When I renovated (and since I was single for the foreseeable future) I’d turned those four bedrooms into two: Jennie’s was directly in front of the stairwell, mine directly behind.

I absolutely loved my bedroom. There was an enormous overstuffed chair in an alcove with a window that overlooked the backyard. A large bookcase held more of my favorite books and pictures. But my bed was my favorite. I’d spent a stupid amount of money on it. It was enormous considering I slept alone. A king-sized dark wood antique headboard, intricately carved with vines and filigree, and a dark-blue bedding set made of the softest fabric I could find. I don’t even remember how much it cost because I’d had to block out the total. Otherwise I wouldn’t have handed over my credit card. But it was worth it. I could get lost in my bed and I could sleep naked any time I wanted. It was like being held in the caress of a cloud.

“I love what you’ve done with the house. It really looks incredible.”

I swelled with content pride. “Thank you.”

He continued his uninvited tour of my room and I let him. For some reason seeing him in my intimate space had me paralyzed. It was like the past and the present were colliding in front of my eyes. The new Jake in my new room. It was so different: the suit, the swagger, the confidence... and it wasn’t like I had cheap posters decorating my ratty walls anymore. He paused in front of a picture of all of us, the whole gang.

“I’m kind of impressed you didn’t cut me out of this picture.”

I smirked. “That’s the replacement. You should have seen what I did to the original.”

He turned to look back at me, his hands back in his pockets, his eyes unmistakably seductive. “We’re all grown up now. What are your plans for your life?”

His question confused me. I was living my life. But then again, it hadn’t taken me until this year to figure myself out. “What I’m doing right now. I work, hang out with the gang, visit my family. What else is there?”

He was burning a hole right through me. “That’s not what I meant. No boyfriends? You planning on settling down with Mr. Right and having kids?” He was so different. He was demanding, almost angry. His questions seemed more like an accusation than anything else.

Something flipped inside me. An anger erupted out of nowhere. “Jake, that is none of your damn business.”

He grimaced. “I think it is. Why aren’t you married, Eve? You are beautiful and smart. There are a million men lined up at your door, but you’re here alone. So, I’ll ask you again. What are your plans, Eve?”

I stood up very slowly, attempting to control the eruption taking place inside me, walked out into the hallway, and growled, “Get. Out.”

“No,” he replied just as firmly, not leaving my room. In fact, I was pretty sure I heard him sit on my bed.

“Get. Out.” I repeated through my clenched teeth.

“Get. Back. In. Here.” He growled back.

I rolled my eyes. Jake had definitely changed. He never, ever would have stood up to me, let alone ordered me to do anything.

Suddenly he was in front of me and glaring down from above. “Please, just talk to me for few minutes. I promise I won’t bite.”

“I’m more worried about a kiss,” I said before I could stop myself.

Jake’s eyebrows shot up. “I’m not going to kiss you, darlin’.”

A part of me was pretty disappointed at that piece of information. “Fine,” I replied, stomping back into my room.

Jake strolled in behind me, sighing, “I just want to make sure I haven’t completely fucked up the rest of your life, Eve. Why aren’t you married?”

Because I’ve never met anyone as good as you? There hasn’t been a man since you who has made me weak in the knees or throbbing for his touch. “I haven’t met anyone worth marrying, Jake. You don’t just put your name in a bowl and hope to be picked.”

He eyed me, gaging my reaction, looking for the lie. “All right. As long as it isn’t because of me.”

It is absolutely because of you.

“You think you ruined men for me, Jake?”

He grinned his cocky half-smile I used to love so much. I loved it because it was one of the few times his dimple showed. My dimple. I couldn’t help it, my eyes were drawn right to it, and he saw. I’m pretty sure he stopped breathing, his eyes burning into me.

“Eve...” he murmured.

My heart stopped. There was an explosive combination of lust, passion, and longing circulating around my bedroom. Anything would set us off.

“Do you need help with the things Jennie asked you to get?” I asked, trying to deflect what was coming.

He shook his head. “Just show me what to take.” He didn’t take his eyes off me. I didn’t take my eyes off him. There was a running stream of ‘He’ll ruin you, don’t do this, get out of here!’ going through the back of my mind. I was half listening to it. The other half wondering if maybe all my fears were unfounded. That maybe Jake and I had gone through all our bad already. That if we did get back together, we’d be fine.

But could I really take that chance?

“Then let me show you.” I quickly left the room and practically threw myself down the stairs. I hadn’t missed the disappointed look on Jake’s face as I ran.

I could hear his heavy footfalls behind me. “Why are you running?” he asked. His voice was deep and full of emotion.

I spun around to find he was right behind me. “You know why.”

“No I don’t.”

My barefooted view was of his chest. His wide, strong chest. The suit looked so good on him. Growing up suited him. He grabbed my chin and tilted it up so that I was looking at him. “Why are you running away from me?”

I wanted to tell him how I was feeling but I knew if he believed we had a chance he’d take it. So I lied. “You’re just too much, Jake. You fill up the room. You say you just want to make sure I know what I want. Even if it’s not you, but I can see you want more. I can’t give you more, Jake.”

He dropped his hand away. “I’m sorry.”

I turned as fast as I could and scurried out the front and around to the garage. Jennie had put two boxes aside. I had no idea what was in them. Just like I didn’t know she’d asked Jake to pick them up. I was starting to suspect Jennie had a few tricks up her sleeve.

Jake picked them up silently and placed them in the back of the Bronco. I didn’t know what to say to him after that and neither did he, apparently. It had been an assault to the senses on all fronts. He had just turned to me with his ruffled hair and confused eyes when Jennie pulled up, followed by another car I didn’t know. I was guessing Andrew had come back for a drink.

Jennie hopped out of her car holding up my dessert. “Here you go!” She hurried to my side. “Dinner was amazing! He came to meet you!”

She was glowing, absolutely glowing. I had never, ever seen her like this. “Wow, you brought him home already? That’s a good thing, right?”

Andrew stepped out of his cool, black sports car and my jaw dropped. Jennie was right. Andrew was hot. He was clean cut, perfect black suit and red tie, a head of dark hair to die for, piercing brown eyes, but what was truly magnificent about Andrew was his smile. It was earth shattering, make your knees weak, movie star quality. He even had me swooning and he wasn’t anything close to my type.

“Shit, Jennie. He’s gorgeous.”

She giggled, “I told you. And he’s wonderful. I’m telling you, I like this guy, Eve.”

He and Jake shook hands. I noticed the way Jake was giving him a careful once over and the easy way Andrew introduced himself. He had an air about him that exuded confidence, but not in an arrogant way. He just genuinely seemed to know who he was and didn’t care what anyone else thought.

“I brought dessert for everyone,” Jennie said. “I was hoping you’d still be here, Jake.” She had that mischievous glint to her eyes that told me she was in full matchmaker mode. She wasn’t going to let the idea of Jake and I getting back together go.

I gave her a look that told her I knew what she was up to. But she just smiled sweetly holding up the bag of dessert, and pranced into the house.

“Didn’t feel like dancing?” I asked as I closed the door.

Andrew turned. “I wanted to meet you all. Jennie couldn’t stop talking about you.”

That was when I realized Jennie was beaming and Andrew was looking pretty dreamy himself. He was obviously taken with my girl. Maybe Andrew was going to be around longer than a month after all. Maybe Mis en Place for their first date wasn’t peaking on the first date. Maybe it was starting off on the right foot. I liked the way they looked together. But it also made me sad. I’d looked at Jake like that once upon a time.

“How long have the two of you been together?” Andrew asked looking at Jake and me. It was an innocent question, but so completely wrong.

I cleared my throat and pulled out my chocolate pie, letting Jake take the question.

“We’re not together any more. We dated back in college.”

Andrew looked surprised. “Oh, I suppose that’s why you look so comfortable together. Did you all go to USF?”

Jennie was still smiling like a fool, “Oh yes. And most of the gang you’ll meet tomorrow.” She turned toward me. “He’s coming with us, if that’s okay with you.”

That had me completely shocked. One date and Andrew was coming with us for the weekend? “Of course. There’s plenty of room.”

“Jennie said you guys were planning on heading out right after lunch, correct?”

I stuck a spoon full of pie in my mouth. “That’s the plan,” I mumbled, pulling the spoon out. “That way we can take the boats out before dinner.” My parents lived on Captiva Island, a good two and half hour drive south. If we left at noon we’d have just enough time to take the boats out.

“The girls love the water,” Jake chimed in with a wink at Jennie.

“I’ve been to Captiva before. And Sanibel a few times. It’s a great place. You must have loved growing up out there, Eve.”

I had. It was an amazing life, as long as I didn’t think about how often my dad was gone. But we’d made it work. His spring training with the Twins was down there in Fort Myers, and most of baseball season fell over summer so that we could travel with the team when we wanted. But for large chunks of time, I was fatherless. It was probably the only thing I could justifiably complain about. Otherwise, I’d grown up in a privileged paradise, with beaches and boats at my fingertips.

“My grandparents moved there and built the house before my dad was born, back when almost no one lived out there. No causeway, no access to the mainland without a boat.”

“You don’t hear many stories like that,” he replied.

“Eve is old Florida on both sides of her family,” Jennie explained for me. “This house was her mother’s.”

His eyebrows shot up, “Very, very rare indeed. My family moved here in the nineties from New York. Seems most of the people I meet are like me, not the two of you.” He was beaming at Jennie again. They really did have it bad.

“Where did you go to school, Andrew? Stetson?”

He smiled politely. Even that basic smile was swoon-worthy. “For law school, yes. Florida Southern before that.”

He had a good, solid background and all local. He was sounding more and more like Jennie’s perfect match.

“All right. Well, I have to get up early so I can escape work on time,” I mumbled in a vain attempt to exit the room with as little drama as possible.

It didn’t work.

Jennie perked up again, pulling herself from Andrew’s enormous, gorgeous grin. “I’m riding with Andrew, Eve. Maybe you should hitch a ride with Jake. That way we won’t have an extra car.” She might as well have just handcuffed me to Jake and thrown away the key. It would have been easier, and probably subtler.

“Fine,” I grumbled, dropping my spoon in the sink and shoving my box in the trash.

When I turned around Jake was behind me again. It was becoming a habit of his. “Walk me out?” he asked softly.

I shrugged, the fight going completely out of me. I was tired of fighting. Fighting Jake, fighting Jennie’s secret schemes. For the rest of tonight I was going with the flow. Grumpily and with a bad attitude, but with the flow.

I don’t think Jennie or Andrew noticed as we left, he was whispering in her ear and she was giggling. The feeling they were perfect for each other hit me again.

At the door Jake stopped and looked down at me, “You don’t have to ride with me if I’m going to make you this uncomfortable. In fact, I don’t have to go at all.”

Something about the idea of him not going made me feel queasy. And I still liked the idea that it would be intense, that by the end of the weekend I would have more answers than questions. He needed to go. I needed to work Jake Spencer out of my system by overdosing. “It’s fine. I miss the Bronco. It’ll be fun to take her for a spin again.”

Jake half-grinned. The damn dimple smiled at me. My heart took off again.

“She’s just the same. I think I missed her almost as much as I missed you.”

And now I’d stopped breathing. Not to mention how my insides were quivering being so close to his warm body.

His lids lowered and he leaned in toward me, just a little. “Eve, I lied earlier... upstairs.”

It was like he was drawing me in toward him even though neither of us had moved. Or had we? Maybe I’d stepped in to him, because he seemed so much closer. So much more of his scent was wafting around me, making me dizzy. “Oh, what about?”

He loomed over me, his eyes fixated on my lips. “Kissing you. I do. I want to kiss you.”

I was inside his arms now, my head tilting up toward his lips, my eyes gazing into his dark green ones. “I want you to kiss me,” I murmured back.

And he did. He wrapped those big, rough hands of his around my face and pulled me to him. His lips grazed mine gently, kissing first my bottom, then my top lip. Then he claimed all of my mouth, kissing me deeply, his tongue gliding down along mine, searching for a way completely inside me.

I pressed my body flush against his, feeling every molecule of my body come to life for the first time in years. My breasts ached to be in his hands, my legs begged to be wrapped around his trim waist with him deep inside my wet body. I wanted all of him, here and now at my front door, with Jennie and her new boyfriend in the kitchen. I didn’t care who saw us. All I knew was what I wanted. And it was Jake.

And then for some stupid reason he stopped.

Jake kissed the tip of my nose and my lips, then pulled away and looked down at me long and hard. “I want you back, Eve. I want all of you this time. I can give you everything and anything you desire. There is no more scared, hurt, screwed-up little jackass left inside me. I’m a new person through and through. Someone who can take care of you inside and out.” His hand ran down between my legs. I was hot and swollen, so the contact of his hand against the thin cotton covering me was intense. I gasped and shuddered from the overwhelming sensations it sent through me. “I can be the man you always wanted me to be. But I want you to know it. I want you to want it.” He pulled his hand away and I swayed. “Think about it tonight and we’ll talk on the drive tomorrow.”

And then he left.

And I was so damn confused.

6

I didn’t sleep that night. I don’t call that restless, crazy rest, sleep. Sleep is restful and rejuvenating. What I did last night was relax my body while my mind went wild.

We kissed.

And it had rocked my world.

If I could understand what made Jake so different from every other man I’d ever known I might finally be able to grasp why he had such a firm hold on my heart. Or why I couldn’t find magic like that with anyone else.

His lips were so soft. How was it possible for lips to be that soft? They had been like whispers against my skin. His tongue was like velvet as it stroked mine. His scent had intoxicated me to the point I couldn’t see. I couldn’t stop reliving those moments over and over again. Each time I thought of his lips my eyes automatically closed and my head tipped back as if I could physically relive the moment even without him there. Just the memory of it made me warm all over and the heat between my legs was almost enough to drive me wild.

I bounced back and forth between those memories and his final words... I want you back.

I was like a ping-pong ball all night long. I should be exhausted and yet, I was strangely awake. I was alive with an energy I couldn’t explain. I felt like a live-wire, full of power and potentially dangerous to those around me.

Luckily I had work to do and I focused on it with a fervor—plowing through my obligations for both that day and most of Monday.

At least there was that.

By the time Jake texted me I was a bundle of nerves. He was outside, parked next to my car and waiting. This was it. This weekend was my opportunity. If I couldn’t figure Jake out in my family home surrounded by my friends and our memories... well, then I was screwed.

The orange Bronco stuck out like a sore thumb next to my sleek graphite colored Nissan GT-R. I really did miss that old orange beast. She was rough and fun. Like Jake. He’d worked on her all through college and we’d taken her on all kinds of adventures. I was pretty excited to take another ride in her.

Jake was laid back in the driver’s seat wearing green board shorts, a tight white t-shirt, a Rays hat, and aviators. He must have seen my approach because suddenly he was up and out of the truck and at my side.

I popped open my trunk.

“Just this bag?” he asked with a ridiculous crooked grin.

It sent a familiar shiver right through me. “Yes,” I replied, not trusting myself to say anymore.

He grabbed the bag and set it carefully in the backseat of the Bronco. His shirt was thin and tight enough I could see every flex and ripple of his beautifully sculpted upper body. I’d always been attracted to him, but this newer, harder body was difficult not to openly appreciate. It was probably some sort of cavewoman instinct to be strongly attracted to tall and strong men—a display that they are capable of defending their family and protecting what’s theirs—and mine was being triggered hard.

“You ready?” he asked turning back toward me, his cocky grin firmly in place.

I popped on my own sunglasses, threaded my ponytail through my hat, pulling it down and flexing the bill around my glasses. Then I smoothed down the tank top and shorts I was wearing over my bathing suit. “Yes. Let’s get this show on the road.”

He watched my fidgeting, I couldn’t see his eyes through his sunglasses but I knew his looks. He wasn’t causally watching my movements, he was reading my body language. “It’s going to be fine, Eve.”

I hated that he could still read me. It made me feel vulnerable in a way that I didn’t want to be. “Of course it will. We need this.”

He took a step toward me, his long legs covering the gap between us in a single stride. “Yes, we do.” He was so close I could feel the air shift, the hot Florida humidity was pushed aside by Jake’s body, his heat replacing the air around me. He lightly grasped my fingertips, just my fingertips, inside his larger ones. “Let’s go.” He tugged me toward the passenger door, opening it and helping me inside, not that I needed the help. It was a sweet gesture, or at least it was supposed to be. Instead it just made me more nervous. Every second I was awash in his energy was another step toward losing what little control I had.

He backed us out and headed toward Interstate 275 which would take us south over Tampa Bay and the Sunshine Skyway, then south down I-75 to Fort Myers. He grabbed his phone, “Hey, we’re on the road... Great, I’ll keep an eye out.”

After he carefully tucked it back into the console he explained. “Jennie and Andrew should only be a few minutes behind us.”

In reality I didn’t know why I was so nervous to be around Jake. We were each strapped into separate seats, the truck was open to the outside with the top off, and Jennie would be following us. It wasn’t as if he was going to drag me off somewhere isolated and force me to love him.

And it wasn’t as if I didn’t like him. In fact, I was realizing the anger I’d originally felt toward him for leaving me was starting to fade. And yet I was still completely and utterly nervous around him.

Maybe it was because I knew I wanted to love him.

Jake smiled over at me after he merged onto the highway. “Ask me anything. The next two hours are yours, I’m an open book.”

So it was Q&A time? “Did you like living over there?”

His large, capable hands gripped the wheel a little tighter and his biceps flexed. “Not particularly.”

Then why did you stay? “What didn’t you like?”

He chuckled softly, “You mean other than the eternal sun and endless desert?”

The bay was approaching fast, the cables of the bridge stretching up ahead. The salt of the air stung my nose. It was hard to imagine living somewhere so completely opposite of the only environment I’d ever called home. I loved the water and I didn’t think I could survive without it. The salt on my skin and the waves rocking my body were my favorite form of therapy. I couldn’t even adequately imagine what it must be like to live in a desert.

“Yes, other than that.”

He sighed and shrugged his broad shoulders, “There are women over there, but it’s a lot of guys. A lot. It can be a bit testosterone heavy, very competitive, and well... hard. Guys are hard, women are soft. The desert is hard... I think when I picture my life over there I think of it as hard.”

Then why didn’t you come home to me? “It sounds like a good place to work on yourself then.”

“It was.” He glanced at me and studied me for a moment. “I went to Germany for a week once every six months to see a therapist. Then it was phone calls and video chats in between.” He paused and his face flinched and contorted as he worked through whatever was going on in his head. “I didn’t dick around while I was over there, Eve. I worked. I worked hard. I worked on me and I worked on actual work. I made contacts, built relationships, and got really damn good at what I do.”

“And what exactly is that?” He had a degree in mechanical engineering and was heading his firm here in Tampa—I knew that. But I didn’t know what he did. I didn’t know what made him damn good, better than everyone else. I wanted to know what he had finally figured out.

“Materials,” he said with authority, the kind that makes you sit up a little straighter and listen a little harder because you know you are about to hear someone speak who really knows what they are talking about. “I have a gift for identifying the best materials for any project. You and Josh liked my proposal not just because you liked our design but because you liked the price.” Which was true. “I design projects based on need. I don’t design it to be made of the very best materials available—I pick the best for what you need. Not many people think that way, so my projects often come out more streamlined. I don’t include extra crap and I don’t over-design. It’s helped me become very, very successful.”

I arched an eyebrow of curiosity. I’d done my research after his blindside at work. Jake did have a good reputation and, despite his company being relatively new, it had an impressive client list. “How did you meet your partner?”

“Tom. Greg and I had both been working for him for years when I mentioned I was thinking of setting up shop over here. He and I are a good compliment and he likes the office a hell of a lot more than I do, so he handles the more bureaucratic side of things.”

“And you?” I asked, already picturing him scribbling on graph paper or with his hands covered in grease, getting his hands dirty on one of his projects.

He grinned. “You know the answer to that.”

His complete confidence in that fact sent another shiver through me.

“Where has the Bronco been hiding all these years?”

“Greg’s,” he replied matter-of-factly. “Tom ditched it there when we left town. He put her up on blocks and kept her nice in his storage unit. He got her out and had her all tuned up once we got the company up and running and he knew I was coming.”

“Nice friend to have,” I murmured.

We sat quietly for a few minutes. There was so much to ask him but I was finding it hard to find my words. Jake drove in the slow right lane, taking his time and letting us enjoy the sun and wind. It felt surprisingly therapeutic whipping over my skin.

Jake had spent most of two years working on the Orange Beast. Most of it in my driveway. I had watched as he transformed her from an antique rust bucket into a smartly remodeled machine. She was practically weather resistant and ran like a top. I think it was one of his first forms of therapy. He’d bury himself in figuring out her quirks, getting lost for hours covered in grease and with pieces and parts strewn across the garage.

“What are you thinking about?” Jake’s voice cut right into my thoughts like a knife.

“You working on the Beast.”

He chuckled and reached out to caress the dash. “It’s nice to have her back.”

“Did you remodel trucks in the Middle East?”

He laughed good and loud, a nice belly laugh. “No. I did work on a few, though. But no remodels like this. I honestly didn’t have time unless someone needed help. I was buried in work, usually up to my elbows in a machine of some kind.”

It was too easy to picture Jake like that—his hands busy and his mind working. It was who he was through and through.

That ache in my chest started to throb again. It felt like mourning. There was lead in my stomach, the ache in my chest, and the overwhelming urge to cry my eyes out. It wasn’t fair that Jake had such a rough life, a life he felt he needed to run away from.

But then again life wasn’t fair.

Sitting here in the Orange Beast was a painful reminder of that. I remembered the day I came home from defending my honor’s thesis.

My presentation hadn’t gone quite as I’d expected. I was more than prepared to sit in front of five of the academics and professors I respected most to present my thesis, but the drilling had been merciless. By the end, I was exhausted, defeated, and on the verge of tears. It didn’t matter that I’d passed or that I’d answered every question.

My brain was mush and my body was done. If I’d run a marathon I wouldn’t feel that exhausted. The only thing I cared about was finding somewhere to collapse.

I pulled into my drive and wasn’t surprised to see two legs sticking out from beneath the Orange Beast. Jake had suddenly gone nuts on the Bronco, taking her apart and replacing her piece by piece. I didn’t know exactly what was driving his sudden need to renovate, but it was something. And I had a sneaking suspicion it had everything to do with his father.

It was the only subject Jake was still reluctant to talk to me about, even after three years together.

“Hey baby!” he called from somewhere underneath the hunk of metal.

I paused beside where I estimated his chest would be, plopped my bag down onto the concrete, and sank down. I would normally care about my nice suit, it was rare I got to wear clothes that made me feel so grown up, but at the moment the only thing I cared about was making eye contact with my boyfriend.

I laid out on the hard concrete and turned my head. He was smiling and covered in grease. In one hand he held a wrench and in the other he was holding some sort of bolt. He looked right at home.

The minute he saw my face, he froze. “Didn’t it go well?”

I sighed, “It went fine. But it was brutal. I think I need to cry.”

He pushed and rolled out from beneath the beast and a second later he was holding himself above me in a push-up. His strength always surprised me for someone so lean. He dropped first one, then two kisses delicately onto my lips. “If it went fine, then why do you look so defeated?”

His green eyes earnestly searched mine and that was when I realized Jake wasn’t just covered in grease, he was covered in bruises. I sucked in a sharp breath. “You went home?”

He closed his eyes and rolled onto the concrete beside me. The evening sky wasn’t too bright, but the puffy white clouds were still an intense contrast. He was quiet for a long minute and I knew he was gathering his thoughts. I’d learned the hard way to give Jake a minute. And space.

“Mom called and said she needed help with the stove. I thought I’d be in and out before he got home from work.”

“But?”

“But he came home early. It’s like the asshole knows when I’m home.”

I swallowed down the freak-out boiling up inside me. The fact that Jake could stand his life at home was beyond me. I was just grateful he lived here with me and only went home when he had to.

“Jake...” I sighed as I rolled up onto my side.

His eyes darted to meet mine. “She’s my mom. I can’t say no when she calls.”

I closed my eyes against the pain for just a moment, then studied the soft bruises that marred his beautiful skin. It wasn’t too bad. A faint black eye, a small welt on his chin, and a few bruises appearing on his arms and body. I couldn’t resist the urge to trace my fingers along their edges, wishing I could somehow take away the pain with my touch. But I also knew the real damage was inside. Those punches had come along with words. Horrible, hateful words that would change Jake for the next week. It always took around seven days for him to fight back to the surface.

He cupped my cheek. “Forget about it. We were talking about you.”

“My problems aren’t problems. They’re silly.”

He grabbed my chin and jerked so that I was forced to look into his eyes. “Don’t ever say that, Eve. Our problems are different, this isn’t a contest.”

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

He shook his head and pulled me down onto his chest, “You did. You meant my problems were more important than yours. And that’s bullshit. Your problems are your problems, and I want to know all about them.”

I sighed and burrowed into the comfort of his chest. It was my favorite place in the world. “It was brutal. It didn’t stop the whole hour. I think they asked me about every single aspect of the project. They delved into my background research and my projections. By the time I was done I just wanted to run away and cry.”

He stroked my hair softly, over and over as we lay in the driveway between our cars. “So cry. You just accomplished something that took you a hell of a lot of time and effort. You should be proud. And it is all right to be overwhelmed and exhausted, baby.”

The tears trickled out of the corner of my eyes and onto his bare chest. His hand kept moving through my hair and up and down my back. His deft movements were the only thing that ever brought me that kind of peace. I had never thought of myself as a particularly tactile person before Jake, but he loved to touch and feel so much that I quickly discovered how much I loved it too. At least when it was Jake.

He comforted me, then I comforted him. He left the Bronco in pieces while we went inside and got lost inside each other.

I hated how unfair life was to Jake. I hated life had torn us apart.

Reality was stupid.

I watched Jake handle the Orange Beast as we glided down the interstate. I struggled to rectify the boy I knew with the man sitting beside me. I knew him, but I didn’t. I wanted him, and I wanted nothing to do with him. Every minute near him I felt my heart breaking all over again.

It was heart breaking because I still loved him. I would always love Jake, I knew that. It didn’t mean I could ever be in love with him, though. Those were two totally different things.

He glanced at me sideways and smiled, “Get out of your head, darlin’. Ask me something else.”

I asked him question after question, slowly getting to know the man Jake had become. He answered everything without hesitation. Somewhere along the way I began to feel comfortable, like I’d slipped on an old t-shirt.

It was that easy, false comfort that lead to my demise.

* * *

We made the beautiful drive over the causeway from Fort Myers to Sanibel Island, the pelicans diving as we passed, the boats lazily drifting beneath us in no hurry to get anywhere. This was my home. Time moved at a different pace here. When you drove through the tollbooth, transitioning from mainland to island, you left the real world behind.

The air was different, the light was different, the sounds were different. I always felt the strangest sense of calm wash over me as we turned off the causeway onto the main drag and glided under the tree canopy. Hurricane Charley had done it’s best to ruin that, but time moves forward even if you can’t feel it; the trees growing back and erasing the scars of Mother Nature. We enjoyed the ride down the island in silence making the slight transition from Sanibel to Captiva. The beaches here were white sand and the waves were low. Because of the unusual orientation of the islands, high tide would leave behind treasure troves of seashells and there always seemed to be a slight breeze.

Our house was on the backside of the island—it was even calmer there. A large main house sat back from the shore, but four smaller houses lined the edge of the beach.

The four smaller guesthouses were assigned to my sisters and our friends. It was there my friends and I would be staying this weekend. We were not allowed inside my parent’s home unless it was absolutely necessary, it was their line of privacy and one I rarely crossed.

Behind the main house was a massive outdoor kitchen and patio that gave way to the wide, white sand beach and the dock that stretched out into the shallow water. Two boats and two jet skis were moored to the dock and we’d be on those in less than an hour. I could barely contain my desire to be out on the water. It was a raw need at this point.

Jake parked in the gravel drive, an enormous grin plastered to his handsome face. It was so large and so genuine I couldn’t help but smile, too. “Welcome back.”

“Thanks.”

I felt like I knew him better now that he’d given me free reign to quiz him, but it didn’t do anything to dispel the frantic nervous fear racing through my veins. It just confused me more. This new and improved Jake was amazing. He was sweet and cocky and confident. He seemed like the world was at his feet.

He seemed safe and inviting, a man I could trust and allow to see all the screwed up parts of me without judgment. But I felt that way about the old Jake and look what he had done to me.

The difference, I realized, was the man himself. The new Jake was, at his core, seemingly unflappable. That unwavering strength was the difference. If Jake really had become strong from the inside out, then he was really and truly someone I could learn to trust again.

But I wasn’t convinced. And that was the problem. I didn’t know what it would take to convince me or even if I could be convinced. That level of trust may be a one-time thing, once it’s gone it can never be recovered.

Jennie and Andrew pulled up behind us and if it was possible, they looked even more in love than they did last night. They were falling hard and fast, there were no two ways about that.

I felt a pang of jealousy watching them. They were falling in love so effortlessly. There wasn’t a dreadful childhood to overcome or the pain of betrayal to work through.

They were simply two people falling in love. What would Jake and I look like if we had only just met? Would we be falling in love just as effortlessly? Would I be able to simply love him for the man he was now and not the man who left me?

His lips were at my ear. “Don’t.”

I looked up at him with surprise. He couldn’t possibly know what I was thinking, and yet when I looked up at him and saw the depth of regret in his eyes, I knew that he was feeling the same longing I was. “Don’t what?”

His eyes bored into me. “Don’t wonder. We aren’t them and we never will be. It won’t make it hurt any less.”

He turned and followed the path down to the guest houses leaving me behind with my thoughts.

Regret, I realized, was a powerful thing.

Rum drinks and beer were out and being consumed in record time, as were the appetizer plates we found in the outdoor fridge. Once the sound system came on and the next car arrived, the party really took off.

There was the expected excitement as Jake caught up with everyone. He was the center of everything and I was glad. It gave me a chance to hide on the edges. It also gave me an opportunity to observe. I was a truly excellent eavesdropper. I’d used my powers to gather all kinds of useful information over the years.

I couldn’t help myself. There was just so much I needed to learn about this man.

He was sitting around the empty fire pit laughing with Sylvia and Ricardo, drinks in their hands, relaxing. All three of them looked different. We were at that age... life was stressful. Jobs were demanding more and more and I knew from some quiet, intimate conversations with Sylvia that the struggle to have children was straining her relationship with Ricardo. Even the happiest couples had troubles.

It was really nice to see them all smiling.

“What the hell have you been doing for ten years, man?” Ricardo asked.

Jake shook his head and took a long drag of his drink. The muscles in his arm tensed and his jaw locked in place. He didn’t like having to constantly answer that question.

“Learning.”

“I’ve heard. You are making quite the splash in town.”

Jake cocked his head, “Really?”

“Really. Apparently, you’re a badass. Everyone’s talking.” He leaned and hunched his shoulders together and made his voice three octaves higher so that he sounded like a silly girl. “He’s hot and rich and fantastic!”

“Now here I thought you were going to say something useful...”

Ricardo straightened back up. “Well, they are. But the word around the golf course is you’re a man who knows how to handle a club.”

“We should play a round sometime.”

“I’ve got Thursday open. Lunch?”

Jake nodded thoughtfully. “You’re on.”

Ricardo squealed in his girly voice again.

I was so busy listening to their conversation I didn’t hear Andrew walk up beside me. He scared the piss out of me.

“Stalking?” His brown eyes were keen and observant as they studied me.

I was struck once again by the realization I really liked this guy. He seemed to be a very genuine person. I never got any weird vibes from him, no alarm bells signaling Andrew was anything but a happy, successful guy.

“Sort of,” I admitted, my eyes wandering back to Jake.

A comfortable silence descended between us and I realized Andrew was the male version of me.

He was freaking perfect for Jennie.

“Jennie filled me in on the story of you and Jake. This can’t be easy on you.”

I shook my head, watching Jake laugh with Sylvia. “No, it’s surreal. I keep expecting to wake up and find this was all a very elaborate nightmare.”

Andrew’s eyebrow quirked up. “Nightmare? Interesting choice of words there.”

“Dreams involving Jake ended five years ago. That was my statute of limitations on torture.” I explained. “Everything since then is a nightmare. None of this seems real.”

Andrew crossed his arms over his sculpted, distinctively male chest, and leaned back against the countertop. “Can I ask you a question?”

I knew Andrew and I were going to be friends, I could feel it in the easy way we were talking to each other. “Shoot.”

“If you had a guarantee Jake would never leave you again, would this still be a nightmare?” He was quietly observing me, his eyes soft and unwavering. There wasn’t a hint of malice or a hidden agenda and he seemed to be genuinely concerned for me.

Jake: nightmare or dream? It seemed to be the only question on my mind over the last month. Maybe he was both.

The reason I’d fallen in love with him was still the same. I was still attracted to him physically, but it was so much more than that.

We got each other. He always seemed to know what I was thinking and feeling. I didn’t have to explain myself. I didn’t have to change myself. To Jake, I was just Eve and I was perfect the way I was. He knew my insecurities and fears, but he never used them against me. He knew when to reassure me and when to stand back and let me do my thing.

And I was the same way with him.

He was an extrovert by nature. He loved groups of people and usually found a way to become the center of attention. Not because he needed the spotlight, but because he enjoyed people. I got that about him. It was so interesting to see the new Jake, just the same, but different. He didn’t have that same anxious need to be with a group at all times, but he liked it. Even now as the group around the fire pit was growing, Jake’s glow was growing, too. His smile was widening, his laugh was deepening—it was like he was coming to life.

So was he a dream or a nightmare? The more I got to know him, the more I was unsure of that answer.

One thing I did know, was that I hadn’t changed.

I still only had two settings with Jake: off and on. If I flipped that switch, there would be no stopping me. I would have to love him completely. I just didn’t know how else to love someone who I felt so connected to. And if we got that close again and he ran for some reason? I knew I couldn’t come back from that kind of broken heart twice.

“No one can guarantee that, so it doesn’t matter,” I murmured.

“Jennie thinks you two are meant for each other.”

“I used to think that, too.”

“I think you two are meant for each other,” Andrew stated flatly, his eyes boring into mine.

I took a step back, an actual step back, as my heart took off racing. How could he possibly say that? He’d barely met us.

“I have amazing instincts, Eve. It makes me a good lawyer and I have a long track record that proves just how good my instincts are. I’ve learned to trust them. The night we met, I assumed you and Jake were a couple because that was what felt right to me. You two vibrate on the same frequency, you communicate without talking... and since then, Jennie has told me all about you and Jake. It has me more convinced than ever.” He pushed away from the counter, standing open in front of me, “I know it’s not really my place to be saying things like this, not yet anyway. But trust me Eve, you don’t want to look back and regret losing a man like him because you were scared. You are too strong for that and you won’t like yourself when you look back.”

Something in the way he said that last part made me certain Andrew had his own sad story. I wanted to ask him about it, but I was paralyzed. Every muscle in my body was frozen and so was the tongue in my mouth. The only thing working was my heart, and it was racing.

Andrew stepped forward putting his hands gently on my biceps, “Eve, trust me on this. I know people and I know how men’s brains work. That man,” he tilted his head toward where Jake and Ricardo were laughing with Sylvia, “loves you. I don’t know who he used to be and I don’t care. The only thing that matters is now, and I don’t believe for a second that man would ever leave your side. He’s not made that way.” He squeezed my arms and smiled softly, dipping down so that he could look into my stunned eyes. “Think about it.”

And then he left me to my thoughts.

One thing was on repeat in my head. He’s not made that way. Andrew had just described a man I didn’t know. He saw a Jake I didn’t know. He’s not made that way. But he was, wasn’t he? He ran. He left me. He wouldn’t let me be there for him when he needed me most.

He’s not made that way.

I stared at the man sitting between Sylvia and Ricardo. I wished I could see him like Andrew did. He described someone loyal and unwavering. He described someone hopelessly in love.

With me.

My brain was struggling to work when Jennie came running—and I do mean running—over with a look of terror on her face. “He didn’t, did he?”

“What?” I asked, confused.

“Andrew. I told him not to, but I just saw him walk away and you look like you’ve been hit by a bus. Please, please tell me he didn’t do what I think he just did.”

I shook my head, taking a deep breath and focusing. “If you mean telling me his thoughts on Jake, then yes, he just did.”

Jennie grabbed my hand. She tugged hard enough to pull my attention away from Jake. “I’m sorry, Eve. I told him not to, but he was just so damn insistent. He says he couldn’t stand looking at you all torn to pieces when he knew in his gut you didn’t need to be worried.”

“What does that mean?” I asked.

Jennie shrugged, “He hasn’t told me exactly. It has something to do with his parents, though. I got that out of him.” Jennie paused, glancing over her shoulder at Andrew. “But he’s right, Eve. I didn’t think you were ready to get the tough love treatment from us, but it doesn’t change the truth. Andrew is right. Jake is different.”

The rest of the crowd arrived at that point and I was grateful. I’d had just about enough heavy, emotional conversation for the afternoon.

“I’m trying to see what you guys see.”

Jennie squeezed my hand again and let it fall. “I know. I just want you to be happy, Eve. I’ve known you a long, long time. I knew you and Jake then and I’ve been your best friend all these years. I don’t want you to be miserable—you know I don’t. Give him a chance.”

My plans to fall out of love with Jake were not going so well. Apparently the universe was conspiring against me.

Stephen, Jake’s best friend in college, joined them around the fire pit.

I’d expected Stephen to be excited to see Jake. I was wrong. He was cool and distant. But then again, if anyone else had been really hurt by Jake’s sudden disappearance, it was him.

Max showed up next. He was transfixed by Jennie and Andrew, but all I could think when I looked at him was ‘you snooze, you lose’. Did he really think Jennie would wait for him forever?

I couldn’t stop thinking about Andrew. His opinion mattered to me for some reason. Maybe it was the connection I felt to him—that we were two similar souls attached to the same wild girl. Or maybe it was his fresh perspective on my life. He wasn’t tainted by the years the way the rest of us were. He saw Jake the way I wish I could. He saw me in a way I couldn’t.

He called me strong.

That was something I used to feel, but hadn’t since Jake arrived. Was I still strong or had I let all of this make me weak?

I was revolted by that thought. Eve Daniels was not weak. I may be hurt and confused, but I was not weak. If Andrew was right, if Jake and I were meant for each other, was I strong enough to love him again?

I wasn’t sure.

7

It was three o’clock when we left in the boats. I knew we were pushing things—it was an incredibly hot day and the thunderheads had been building since at least one o’clock. But we went out anyway. Four on my boat, four on the other. Everyone else stayed back to rest on the beach. We shot over to Cayo Costa and we attracted dolphins so we made a few passes, inviting them to play in our wake before anchoring off the beach and wading in.

Cayo Costa was my favorite island. Period. It was a state park only accessible by boat and only a handful of people lived there; so it was one of the few places that still looked relatively untouched by man. The beaches were decent for shelling, especially after a good storm, and there was always cool driftwood along the southern point. I liked the weird horseshoe crabs that lived there, too.

I guess I’d wandered off too far, I’d let myself get too lost in my head, I didn’t see how hard and fast the storm front approached. I didn’t notice my friends calling for me, or the first boat leaving.

Leaving with everyone but Jake and me.

I only became aware of what was happening when I heard Jake’s yelling as he ran down the beach. I finally looked up and saw how pitch-black and angry the sky was, how deep the rumbling from the thunder was. This wasn’t the kind of storm you could ride out. It was going to be violent and long.

Well, long by Florida standards anyway.

“We’ve got to go, now!” Jake yelled as I started to run back toward him.

“No shit.” I muttered.

The air was already sizzling as we pulled ourselves aboard. Jake hauled in the anchor as I lowered and started the engine, quickly calculating our chances of making it home.

The answer was easy: we wouldn’t.

And the waves were already pushing higher and higher as the winds at the front of the storm grew stronger. We needed a backup plan. I yanked the cords of the blue bimini top free of their brackets and sent the canopy collapsing against the hull just as Jake dropped the dripping anchor on the bow.

“Ready,” he yelled. The sun was gone and Jake had tossed his sunglasses onto the dashboard, so when he looked at me I could see how dark with worried his eyes were.

“Sit,” I commanded, throttling forward. We were getting tossed around and it was not going to be a pleasant ride, but at least I knew where we were going.

The boat was hitting the water hard as we cut around the island, rising and falling with each wave. It was the kind of pounding that doesn’t just jar you, but sends a stinging jolt up through your entire body with each and every hit of the hull against the waves. Trying to make it back home would have been ugly, as it was we’d barely beat the rain. It was going to rain hard. The wind was going to be fierce. And the lightning—it was already lighting up everything around us.

It was the kind of storm you really needed shelter to escape from.

There were a few different options we could have tried for, but the old fishing shacks on the other side of the island would only take us a few minutes to get to.

Once upon a time they had been used by fisherman, and I guess they still were. But only by locals like us as a stopover. It was a squat house raised up out of the water on pilings with a dock around two sides. We hit the dock hard as the waves rocked us and Jake deftly roped a pylon. As he secured the front, I scrambled around and did the same to the back. That was when the giant drops of rain started to fall.

The ropes would hold but the boat might not look so pretty after the storm. Or maybe it was the dock that would take the beating, you never could tell which way things would go during a storm. Either way, I didn’t care. I just wanted to be inside, away from the wind and rain and intensity of the lightning. The air was alive, I could feel the tingle on my skin as the electric current wove its way through the air seeking a place to strike next.

“Stow everything,” I yelled above the rumble of thunder.

Jake threw the white padded seat up and started shoving the loose towels and clothes that had been left behind inside. “You want your bag?” he asked.

I nodded and he shoved our things inside before tossing it up onto the dock.

Jake boosted me up first, then pulled himself up behind me. He was still shirtless so I could see every muscle in his beautiful body work.

His hands were warm against my exposed skin and his eyes were deep green and intense, like there was a storm brewing inside him just as powerful as the one swirling around us.

What if you had a guarantee he would never leave?

Andrew’s question came slamming back into my head as my pulse quickened. Could I let everything go if I knew the fear was just in my imagination? This war in my head had to end. I was driving myself bat-shit crazy.

This guy I’d loved more than anything was back. He wanted me and I wanted him. The basic stuff was easy compared to the complications of my emotions. The bottom line was that Jake scared the pants off me. He was hot and handsome, cocky and confident... and I knew this time it would be so much worse. I’d loved him with everything I had ten years ago, but that was a college girl just starting out in the world.

I was a grown woman now. Logic would have me think that my new experience and wisdom would make a relationship with Jake easier, but that was so not the case.

He was sex on a stick. He was triggering every sexual instinct I had. He was hot, successful, and he wanted me. Which made my body seriously want him. Not even my brain was helping in that department. It was older and wiser—which meant it knew just how fucking hard decent men were to find. Jake broke my heart and ran away from his past, didn’t mean he’d do it again.

Otherwise he was a fantastic guy.

The only thing holding me back from all of this was my heart.

You know, the broken one.

It knew if Jake and I got back together we’d make our past relationship look like child’s play. It would be a sweet footnote to this new torrid love affair. Jake and Eve 2.0 would be an uncontrolled explosion of sex and adoration.

Uncontrolled explosions were dangerous. Everyone knew that.

And yet, I couldn’t seem to stop myself from wanting to play with the matches...

“Just in time!” Jake called, slamming the door shut and throwing his towel over a rusty folding chair. “Fuck that was fun!”

His crooked smile did all of those things it always did to me. It twisted my belly in a delicious can’t-feel-the-floor-beneath-me way. It heated my skin and sent my pulse racing.

Why did he make me excited when no one else did?

“What?” he asked, his voice suddenly hoarse. He was frozen, watching me watch him.

“Why?” I asked.

“Why what?”

“Why do you make me different?” I asked. “Why doesn’t anyone else do that? Why you?” I simply didn’t understand it. I’d tried so hard to find that spark with someone else. Hell, I’d even wondered if there was something wrong with me.

“Why not me.” It was a demand not a question. Jake was making his case. “No one will ever love you like I can. You know it and I know it. Don’t let the past keep ruining everything.” His eyes wandered over my heaving chest and trembling body, growing darker and lustful. His fist clenched and his jaw went slack as his eyes zeroed in on me.

“I won’t survive you a second time,” I choked out.

“You know me better than anyone ever has,” he growled. Jake was mad. At me. “Do you honestly believe I’d hurt you a second time? I did what I had to do, I never meant to break your heart.” His anger softened into a plea, “I love you.”

That was when I understood what I did to Jake. I made him different, too. I wasn’t sure exactly how I made him different, but I knew I did. I could see it in his eyes, in the hungry way he was looking at me. He craved that rush of being different as desperately as I did.

Somehow we made each other more.

I was strong and capable on my own. I’d proven that many times over. But Jake brought things out of me no one else could. He calmed me, gave me a special sense of confidence—he made me even stronger than I already was. It was a special gift. One I gave him in return.

Jake stood where he was, begging me to make the first move. It had to be my choice—we both knew that.

“Eve...” His voice was so deep and rough.

My name did me in. I wanted to hear him say it over and over again, in a thousand different ways. And right then, I wanted to hear him groan it.

I closed the gap between us in a second, throwing myself around him, my legs wrapping around his waist as his arms wrapped around my body. His hands on my skin were electric, shooting a thousand volts of pleasure through my body and taking my breath away.

I loved this man. I hated this man.

He would ruin me, maybe I’d ruin him.

But for that moment, locked away from the world alone in a fishing shack on the water, all I wanted was to feel him.

A rough grunt came out of Jake’s throat as my hands wrapped around his face, kissing him deeper and deeper.

That was when he turned and slammed my back into the wall of the shack.

8

My back was pressed to Jake’s front and he was still twitching inside me. My arms hung lifelessly at my sides, the sweat rolling all the way down their length, dripping from my fingertips to the wood floor beneath us.

I was numb, every muscle in my body gloriously relaxed, every ounce of energy sapped away. I couldn’t move or think. It was a wonderful change to feel nothing, to be lost to the oblivion of complete and utter satisfaction.

Just the sound of the rain slowing, the thunder drifting away, and Jakes heavy breathing.

When was the last time I felt this relaxed? I couldn’t remember. And the more I chased that thought the more I honestly wondered: when was the last time I felt this good?

It all came crashing in on me at once. It had been years, probably a decade. Not since Jake. Jake who was inside me. Jake who would leave me all over again, taking with him all of this good.

The panic flooded me so fast, flooding my veins with equal parts fear and fire, that I shot off of his lap, surprising him.

I’d made a mistake. A huge, massive mistake, by giving in to all of this.

I’d slept with my black hole. He’d sucked me back in, and I’d let him.

I scrambled to the bag I’d dropped by the door, finding my cover-up and sliding it over my head. I was in a pure, frantic panic. I wanted to run, but we were in this stupid shack. I wanted to explode into a billion molecules.

“Eve...” his voice was low and when I turned around he was up, naked, and his hands were out in front of him as he cautiously moved toward me.

“No!” I shouted, scrambling backward. He couldn’t come near me, when he came near I became stupid. I started believing in silly things like happiness and futures.

I was such a fucking idiot.

He stopped dead in his tracks, “Calm down, darlin’. Everything is okay.”

Okay? Nothing about this was okay. “This is pure stupidity! What was I thinking?”

He didn’t blink at my insult, just continued to calmly stand on the other side of the room from me. “We had sex, Eve. We’ve had sex hundreds of times. It doesn’t have to mean anything.”

My eyes went wide—I felt it. “Doesn’t have to mean anything? Doesn’t have to mean anything? Jake, everything means something between us.”

His hands fell to his sides and his jaw tensed as he stood up straight, “Trust me, I know that.”

“Then why did you say it?” I shouted back.

He looked me dead in the eye with an intensity that almost made me want him all over again. Confident Jake was not someone to be messed with. “Because I don’t want to scare you away before you give me a chance to show you who I am now.” He stepped toward me, and this time I didn’t back away or flinch. “Eve, let me show you.”

I was flying apart, the sadness and fear exploding from the center of me out. “We are too much Jake. You and I aren’t good for each other. I love you too much, remember?” I will give you everything.

“Do not throw my words back at me like that,” he demanded.

“But you were right, weren’t you? I do, I love you too much for it to ever be healthy. We destroy each other. We can never be enough for what we each need.”

I believed in those words completely. What happened between Jake and I was so explosive there was no option other than destruction. Self-destruction.

“That wasn’t what I meant when I said that, Eve.” His voice was eerily low and even, as if he were using extreme restraint to control himself. “I needed your love so much, but not in the way you think.” He pulled his fingers through his hair, ruffling up his long dark locks. Finally he blew out a breath and cracked his neck. “I was desperate. Desperate to survive and I would have done and taken anything around me to do it. I would have used you and abused you until there was nothing left of you.” His fists were tightly clenched at his sides, every muscle in his body taught as he spoke. “I would have consumed you to save myself. And the worst part is I wouldn’t even know I’d done it until there was nothing left of you to save.”

The reality of what he was saying hit me hard. There was no win here. There was no scenario where this situation would have come out in my favor. The deck had been stacked against me from the beginning.

This was the only possible conclusion. There was only one outcome to loving someone so damaged.

Whether he stayed or left, the result was the same: my heartbreak.

I don’t think I’d ever allowed myself to see that possibility. It was probably too painful to recognize our love had been doomed from the start.

And that led me to understand something very important. Jake leaving me was a conscious choice to love me, even if I didn’t realize it until just now. To stay would have been selfish. He left because he loved me too much to destroy me.

Oh fuck. The realization hit me like the lightning we were hiding from. He left me to save me.

Suddenly I saw Jake in a whole new light. Despite everything he was going through he’d still been strong enough to leave me when he probably wanted me more than ever. That act of selflessness took my breath away.

“Jake...” The emotions were overwhelming me. I was confused, incredibly confused by the combination of things reeling through my mind.

I’d known from early on Jake had baggage. By the time I realized how deep his problems ran I was already hopelessly in love with him.

But that was what loving Jake meant. I had chosen to take on that responsibility. By choosing to love someone damaged, you accept the consequences along with it. And that meant I needed to accept all of this. That Jake hurting me was inevitable. That Jake had to leave and it was his choice to make. It had nothing to do with me. I had accepted those terms for loving him.

I needed to get over myself.

“Eve, I will never run again. I will say it one more time, and I want you to really hear what I’m saying. I am not the boy who ran away ten years ago. I dealt with my crap and I finally grew up. Nothing anyone—including my shit dad— anyone can do will break me ever again.”

Then his eyes flashed with something wicked. Gone was the controlled anger from before. It had been replaced with something much more erotic. “And you are right about one thing: what we did wasn’t just sex. It was you and me right with the world again. I know you still love me. And now that I know that, I will never leave you. If you run, I will follow. What we have is special... it’s unique. You know how I know that? You aren’t married. I told you the other night you should be. I see the way men look at you. You could have anyone you wanted. You should be happy and married, but you aren’t.”

He took two more steps toward me. I felt like I was being stalked. Jake was the predator and I was the prey. He was tall and strong, his shoulders square, his jaw and fists clenched, holding back the emotions he was keeping at bay. He was gloriously naked, reminding me with every glance how strong and powerful he was, and how very, very attracted to him I was.

“You waited for me, Eve. I know you did. And I will wait for you, just please don’t take too long. I’ve already wasted so much of our lives and I don’t want to lose any more than we have to.”

Had I waited for Jake? Was that why no one was ever good enough for me? Had I secretly been hoping every night I would find Jake waiting on my doorstep? I think I might have been—I think all these years I’d been waiting for Jake to reappear.

I couldn’t keep fighting all of this, but I couldn’t just jump back into love with Jake. “Ask me out.”

Jake blinked. I think I’d really and truly surprised him. He’d been pushing and he knew what he wanted, but having me actually give-in a little wasn’t what he was expecting. It was kind of cute how surprised he looked. His normally masculine, confident face suddenly looked shy and young. He straightened himself up and looked around the room, grabbing his towel back off of the folding chair and wrapped it around his naked waist.

Then he took a deep breath, a mischievous twinkle gleamed in his eye, and walked slowly across the room to stand in front of me. “Eve, would you give me the pleasure of your company at a barbecue this evening?”

I tried to fight the smile on my lips. I really wanted to play this off a little cooler than I was, but hell, he was so damn adorable asking me on a date I couldn’t stand it. “I’d love that.”

He bounced his eyebrows and smiled just enough for his dimple to show. “One step at a time?”

I nodded, “I think so. I don’t know you anymore and I want a chance to see all these changes you keep telling me about.”

“That sounds smart. I think we should date. We never really did that, did we?”

I shook my head and laughed. “No, we most certainly did not.”

“Think we can manage it this time?”

I thought about it for a moment. Considering we were both barely clothed, I had my doubts. Serious doubts. More than likely we’d get lost along the way. But damn it was gonna be fun to get lost with Jake again.

As long as he didn’t break my heart.

* * *

“We should go boating more often. This is hot, darlin’,” he murmured in my ear.

I couldn’t help the sly grin that crept up on my lips. “You never called me that before. I like it.”

He squeezed me close and I could feel every inch of his body. “Good. It just came out when I saw you and I can’t seem to stop saying it.”

For some reason, Jake having a new, special pet name for me was hot. I think it was helping me separate our past from our present.

“Then don’t stop,” I murmured.

By the time the rain ended and we managed to get our asses home, Jennie and Andrew were anxiously waiting for us on the dock. I could tell Jennie was hopeful that the time alone had done us some good.

“I see you guys managed to survive,” she drawled.

“Mmmmm. We did. We holed up in one of the shacks.”

“Oh...”

Jake started tossing bags and coolers up onto the dock and Andrew started hauling them back up to the house. Jake was watching me out of the corner of his eye, probably waiting to see what I told Jennie.

She suddenly had a mischievous glint in her eye and she smiled. One of those smiles that scared the pants off me because she knew something I didn’t. “Did you have fun?” she asked.

“Yes...”

She nodded, “I can tell.” Then she reached down and pulled paint chips out of my hair, crumbling them between her fingers and letting them fall into the water below. She cocked her eyebrow and waited for me to explain.

“Fine, we had a lot of fun. Happy?”

She nodded vigorously. “What does this mean?”

I knew she wanted me to say Jake and I were back together. She wanted us to live happily ever after and for the four of us to be the best of friends. But Jennie had the privilege of living in a world where magical things like that happened. Jake and I did not. Happily ever after had to wait, if it was ever coming at all.

“It means I have a date tonight with this hot new guy I just met. And we’ll see what happens.”

To my complete surprise she yelped and started jumping up and down doing some sort of silly girly dance. “I’m so happy!”

I rolled my eyes. Jennie was seeing wedding bells. I was seeing the possibility of getting laid again.

Andrew came back for the next load. “Uh oh, what’s with the girly dance?”

Jennie rushed right over to him and whispered in his ear. I don’t know why she whispered. It wasn’t like it was a secret. Or maybe what she was telling her boyfriend was a secret Jake and I weren’t privy to.

He smiled and winked at me.

I glared back at Andrew, “This is your fault, I’ll have you know.”

His eyebrows shot up and he pointed at himself, “Who? Me?” The grin that followed told me we were still on the same page. He knew I was serious and scared and happy.

“Yes, you. I’m blaming you for all of it, as a matter of fact.”

He pulled away from Jennie and gave me a brotherly hug as soon as I hauled myself up onto the dock. “Then I also get all the credit when this works out spectacularly well.”

I pulled back and looked at him carefully. “Deal.” I had a feeling Andrew was going to be around for a very long time. Maybe even forever. He and I were too much alike for him not to be perfect for Jennie. He fit in with us like he’d always been part of our group, almost like we had been missing him all of this time.

I immediately disappeared into my room to freshen up and change. Shack sex was hot and amazing, but it was hardly clean. We’d had unprotected sex, but I was on the pill and I knew Jake well enough to know he wouldn’t have done that if he had anything I could contract. We certainly needed to have some sort of a conversation at some point if we were going to do that again, but for now I needed to get clean.

I felt disgusting, actually, with all that saltwater dried on my skin. So the cool shower was a little slice of heaven for my body, but my brain went on overdrive. I felt like I was going on a first date with all the butterflies wiggling around inside me. I think I was even feeling shy.

Why hadn’t I packed something nice? I could hear my grandmother’s quiet admonishment in my head. “Always pack for a special occasion, dear. You never what is going to happen next.”

Right then I wished I’d taken her advice.

I pulled out a sun dress, dried my hair, and twisted most of it back off of my face. I even went so far as to put on a little makeup even though it was ten thousand degrees outside and pure humidity. But I was going on a ‘date’ and I wanted to look nice.

When I opened the door Jake was leaned up against the side of the house with his foot propped up. He immediately hopped up and smiled. He’d showered and changed too, and was wearing a nice t-shirt and board shorts. He was just as simply dressed as I was, but it was an effort toward looking nice.

“You look lovely,” he murmured.

God, it was stupid how much that pleased me. “You look very nice yourself.”

He leaned in and kissed me lightly on the lips. Just one simple kiss, but it was enough to take the air right out of me.

The cookout was in full swing. Shrimp was boiling, burgers were grilling, and foil packets of fish were going on next. A game of bocce was rolling on one side of the beach, a game of corn hole with bean bags flying through the air was on the other, and a circle of talkers were around the fire pit.

I felt every eye on me the whole night. Well, except for Max, his eyes were still glued to Jennie. And Jennie’s eyes were only on me when she could peel them away from Andrew.

But I felt like the show of the night to everyone else. They were carefully watching us, how Jake and I were together, how we were separately. I felt like a science experiment. Especially with Stephen. I was refilling my cocktail when he cornered me.

“Is it that easy?” he asked.

Stephen was six feet tall, solidly built, a little rough around the edges but a generally good guy. He wasn’t as smooth and polished as Andrew or clever as Jake, though. He was that generally likeable good guy every group seemed to have.

“No. Nothing about this is easy.”

He watched me intently. “It’s been a month, Eve. Seems pretty easy to me.”

I had the distinct impression Stephen’s anger at Jake was going to keep him from hearing anything other than what he expected, but I spoke anyway. “Are you suggesting he needs to be punished before I am allowed to forgive him? Because I assure you Stephen, punishment has already been sufficiently doled out.”

He snorted, “I highly doubt that. He disappeared, Eve. Vanished into thin air and didn’t give any of us the courtesy of a note saying he was alive and well.” He over emphasized the word ‘well’.

Stephen’s eyes shot up over my shoulder and I knew Jake was behind me. I could feel the change in the vibration of the air. What was it Andrew had said? Jake and I vibrate on the same frequency? I certainly couldn’t argue that.

“Hello Stephen,” he said. His voice had that deep, authoritative rumble to it I liked so much.

“Jake.”

He moved between us, physically separating Stephen from me while he refilled his own cup. Jake glanced up at me, his eyes questioning. He could tell our conversation wasn’t light and friendly. “So, how have you been?”

Stephen didn’t even attempt polite conversation. It was at that point that I finally realized he was pretty drunk—the alcohol making him angry and stupid. “Fuck off, Jake.”

Jake stood up tall, emphasizing the size difference between the two of them, and glowered at his former best friend, “Excuse me?”

“Inquiring minds want to know, did you trade in your friends and your girl for a boatload of cash?” If I had any doubts how Stephen felt about Jake’s sudden reappearance, I didn’t anymore. Stephen was practically oozing contempt.

“I think that is a gross oversimplification of the situation, Stephen.” Jake’s eyes locked onto mine and I could feel his mood shift. He was keeping his anger in check, but just barely.

“Bullshit. You think you can come and go as you please? Just walk back into your life and pick up like you never left?”

Jake leaned in close to Stephen. “No, I don’t. Because you’re drunk I’m not going to hold this ridiculous conversation against you. But for your information, I don’t expect any of you to forgive me. I don’t expect anything from anyone. But I am back and I am asking for your forgiveness. What you do with that is your business.”

Stephen glared up at Jake for several long moments. “Fine.” he spat.

But Jake put a hand out and stopped Stephen from storming off. “One more thing. Just so we’re clear, if you ever suggest I traded Eve for money, I will beat you to a bloody pulp.”

The deep seething anger in Jake’s voice was terrifying and Stephen took a step back, the surprise obvious on his face, “Shit man, sorry.”

Jake straightened back up and glared at Stephen, “Get out of here, go sleep it off.”

We were alone for several moments before Jake turned around. The silence between us felt like an eternity. I couldn’t tell what he was feeling so I let him be.

“Is that how you feel? That I traded you for my new life?” he finally said.

I froze as I carefully considered his question. “No, Jake. Even if I did, I don’t anymore. I know you had to leave and it was as much for me as it was for you.”

His shoulders relaxed. “Come here. Please.”

I went right into his arms and let him hold me.

The music cranked up and Jake pulled me into the shadows. “Let’s dance,” he whispered. I relaxed into him, resting my head on his shoulder and shutting out the world. Our dance turned into three or four. When it started to drizzle with a second evening rain storm. Most of the gang called it a night, retreating to their designated rooms. I heard something about a poker game in one guest house and a movie in another.

But Jake didn’t let me go and I didn’t ask him to. I liked the way the rain dancing on our skin felt. I liked the way it was washing over me. Yes, my hair was wet and dangling in a mass of knots down my back, knots Jake kept lovingly brushing away with his fingers. And yes, our clothes were wet and clinging to our bodies, but it was cleansing. I felt like it was metaphorically washing our past away.

I wanted it to wash everything away except the moment we were standing in.

9

The music faded away and all I could see was Jake. All I could feel were his hands as he cupped my face and studied me. All I could feel was him. He was everywhere, inside and around me. His scent was in my lungs.

I was in love with Jake.

Or still in love.

Or falling in love with someone I really didn’t know yet.

Damn. I was so confused. And I needed to allow myself to work through all of that. I needed to feel what I was feeling and not what I thought I should be feeling.

“This was a pretty fantastic first date, Eve,” he said grasping my chin and pulling my face up for a kiss.

He was intoxicating. “Definitely one for the record books.”

He smiled. He was gazing into my eyes with millions of questions. I couldn’t possibly answer them all. “We should get out of the rain before we get sick. It’s cold, darlin’.”

The mention of cold made me shiver. But what to do next made me nervous. You don’t take men home on the first date. You just don’t. Not even men you’ve known for as long as I’d known Jake.

But I wasn’t ready for our date to end, either.

“Want to watch a movie in my room?” I asked.

“I’ll meet you there in five minutes,” he winked and disappeared.

By the time I’d dried off, again, and changed, again, Jake was back. He had on a pair of black basketball shorts and a white t-shirt splattered with a few raindrops. Plus that ridiculous smile of his.

For some reason I got nervous all over again. Being alone with Jake was still a rush.

I pointed to the big screen TV on the wall and the built-in shelf of DVD’s beside it. “Your choice. I’ll get the popcorn and chocolate.”

The little guest house had a kitchenette with every tiny appliance I could think of. The cabinets were always stocked and I found the popcorn right where it should be. I grabbed two bottles of water and located the bars of chocolate while the kernels popped in the microwave.

Then I heard the TV roar to life. I wondered what Jake had picked, knowing somewhere in the back of my mind it was going to have meaning. Sure enough when I poked my head out of the kitchenette with our goodies I found The Princess Bride paused at the very beginning.

“You’ve got to be kidding me? Of all the movies to pick from, really?”

He shrugged. “It’s our favorite.”

I shook my head vehemently. “No, there is no ‘our’ anymore. We started over today. This is our first date. You don’t know I like this movie any more than I know you like this movie.”

He slumped back against the couch and propped his feet up on the ottoman, getting comfortable. When he spoke it was an affected, high-pitched voice. He was mocking me. “So Eve, I’m not sure what movies you like, but I picked The Princess Bride. It’s one of my favorites and I was hoping we could enjoy it together.” He rolled his eyes at me, “Is that better?”

Ass. I threw the water bottle at him as I plopped down on the opposite end of the couch, as far away from Mr. Sarcastic as I could get.

He, of course, caught the bottle and set it deftly on the coffee table before lunging for my feet and hauling me long ways across the couch, “If you’re going to sit that far away from me, might I suggest a foot rub?”

I glared at him from my new position. “Suit yourself.” If he wanted to give me a foot rub, who was I to complain?

Unfortunately I’d forgotten what a Jake Spencer foot rub entailed.

He had magical hands. Hands that knew every point on my foot to make me gasp with pleasure. Points that had a direct line to my sex. Somehow, by the end of the second foot rub, I was both incredibly relaxed and incredibly turned on.

Jake was an evil genius.

“Did that feel good?” he asked.

“Mmmmm,” I mumbled in my half-asleep state.

“Good.” I heard him reply.

I dozed off after that, waking from time to time to Jake’s fits of laughter or the sections he was reciting. My feet were still in his lap and he kept rubbing them from time to time.

It was so comfortable, so easy.

And then I was in his arms, so warm and strong, my face pressed up against his firm chest. “What’s going on?” I mumbled.

He chuckled, the rumble vibrating against my body. “You fell asleep. I’m taking you to your bed.”

I nodded and burrowed deeper into his chest. I liked it there. I wanted to stay there.

He laid me gently on my side of the bed, the side I’d always slept on. Somewhere in the back of my head I thought it was strange—or sweet—that he still remembered that. But as he pulled the covers up around me, I grabbed his hand. “Don’t go.”

He kneeled down beside me and brushed my hair back from my face. “Are you sure?”

I nodded sleepily. I knew what I wanted.

“Okay.”

A moment later I felt the mattress dip behind me, and a moment after that I felt Jake’s warm body curled up behind mine with his hand on my hip. It was chaste and comforting. I fell asleep feeling happier than I could remember feeling in a very, very long time.

10

When I woke up the next morning it felt late. I could hear chatter outside my window and the sun was most definitely up.

And I was alone.

“Morning, darlin’,” Jake’s voice was deep and rough like he’d just woken up too.

I sat up, pulling the sheet up with me as I looked around for him. I found him sitting in the armchair at the end of the bed, sipping on a steaming mug of coffee. He half-smiled, his eyes wary as he waited for my reaction.

“Coffee?” I asked, suddenly desperate for a cup. My head was doing that dull thud thing it did when I slept later than normal. I was probably in caffeine withdrawal.

He hopped right up and disappeared into the kitchenette, returning a moment later with an identical mug.

I took a tentative sip—he even remembered how I took my coffee: just cream. “Thanks.”

He sat carefully beside me on the bed, sipping from his mug. “How are you feeling this morning?”

I knew he was really asking if I was still okay with the way the night had ended. “Good. You?”

“Good. Best night of sleep I’ve had in a decade.”

The reality of that statement hit me in the gut. All of this was a really big deal, for both of us. This thing we were trying, it wasn’t just my heart on the line, it was Jake’s, too. That was a lot of pressure on both of us. It wasn’t as if we couldn’t handle the ups and downs of life, but broken hearts—more than once from the person you loved most—those were damn near debilitating. “I slept really well, too.”

“It wasn’t too soon?”

I smiled at him. For as strong and sure as he could be most of the time, he was very tentative right now. And with good reason. I appreciated how much he cared about my wellbeing. “For sleeping in the same bed? No. You were right, we aren’t total strangers and we shouldn’t act like we are. I didn’t want you to leave, and I’m glad that you stayed.”

“Good, I liked it. I missed it.”

Things were going to be awkward between us while we figured out our safe zones. Sleeping was safe, jumping back into sex might not be. Dates were safe, but I wasn’t ready to live together. I didn’t even think I was ready to be his girlfriend. I just wanted to get through a few days and see how things felt.

“One step at a time,” I repeated and took a sip of my coffee.

He brushed my hair back from my face, his fingers lingering against my cheek and I saw him sigh. “I missed you. Last night, all of it,” his voice fell away.

But he didn’t need to say any more. I knew what he meant. The movie, the banter, the cuddling—all of that was who we were as a couple. “It’s nice to have my best friend back,” I agreed.

Jake squeezed his eyes shut and cupped my face with his large hand. When he opened his eyes I saw ten years of loneliness and I knew he saw the exact same thing in mine.

We were going to fall hard and fast, just like we did the first time.

“The gang is setting up on the beach.”

I threw back the covers and downed the rest of my coffee. “Well then let’s get a move on. Sun, sand, and sea wait for no man.” My heart could only take so much of the emotions rolling between us. The beach and the sun, surrounded by our friends sounded like a very nice place to be right about now.

In a matter of fifteen minutes I was safely in a bikini and under the shade of a giant umbrella.

Jake and Andrew started up a game of beach beer pong with the guys which gave the girls free rein to grill me. Somehow I managed to answer most of their questions to their satisfaction. I don’t know how, I felt like I was trying to share and hide at the same time. It was too soon for me to understand my own feelings, let alone tell someone else how I felt. So I stuck to the facts. Facts were good.

“You did it in the fishing shack, didn’t you?” Sylvia asked.

“Yup.”

“He’s hotter than he used to be, is the sex?”

“Yup.”

“How?” Sylvia had leaned forward in her seat, and everyone else was straining closer, too.

I shook my head. “You all are worse than the Rays locker room.”

Jennie grinned. “And just how much time to do you spend in that locker room, Eve?”

I rolled my eyes, not that they could see it through my sunglasses and ball cap. “We haven’t seen each other in a long, long time... we had a lot of pent up sexual energy, okay?”

I really didn’t want to think about how skilled Jake was or how intuitively he seemed to know exactly what to do or when. That would involve me thinking about him having had sex with anyone other than me in the last ten years. And I was so not going there. Not yet.

Sylvia grinned, “He’s so damn adorable around you, Eve. It makes me wish Ricardo and I were just starting out again.”

“What do you mean?” I asked. “Ricardo worships the ground you walk on.”

“Not like Jake,” she stuck her thumb out at Jennie, “or Andrew, for that matter. You are both in that new love stage. I miss it.”

A weird ache developed in my chest. Yes, it was nice to have that intensity that comes in the beginning, but at this point I wanted what Sylvia and Ricardo had: history. There were so many blank years in ours. I knew him, and yet I didn’t. Underneath it all Jake was still the same man, the one I saw back then even when he couldn’t, but he was also completely different. He’d lived a decade in a part of the world I’d never seen. He’d probably been places, tasted foods, had adventures I knew nothing about. In many ways Jake was a stranger, and that feeling was bizarre.

“There’s a lot to be said for what you have with Ricardo.” My voice sounded as sad as I felt and that changed the mood of everyone around me. They backed off on the grilling, eventually wandering off.

Except for Jennie.

“How are you doing, for real?” she asked.

I shrugged my shoulders and grabbed an icy cold can of beer from the cooler. “I think the appropriate word would be ‘confused’.”

She bit her lip and gazed down the beach to where the boys were cheering themselves on to victory. “They seem to be getting along.”

I smiled. “Yes, they do. This is good.”

Jennie smiled and settled back into her chair. “It is good.”

I used Jennie’s momentary silence against her, taking the opportunity to turn the tables. “And how is Andrew in bed?”

She raised an eyebrow over her sunglasses but didn’t move a muscle. “I haven’t slept with him yet. I’ve known him for, what? Three days?”

I chuckled. “You two are inseparable. I’m half expecting him to drop on a knee before we leave and whisk you away to Vegas.”

She smiled and I think she liked that idea. “I will say this, we’ve barely slept since we met. We haven’t stopped talking. I feel like I know him better than anyone else I’ve ever met.”

I knew how she felt. Jake and I were the same way, even all those years ago. “I like him. He’s a good guy.”

“Do you really think so? Because I’m afraid I can’t see straight.”

That was probably the scariest thing about falling in love. It happens so hard and so fast it kind of feels like going crazy. And with your heart on the line, the stakes are incredibly high. “I do. I think he’s genuinely a good guy and he really, really likes you.”

Jennie smiled and sighed. She had it bad. “Please tell me if you get worried. I’m pretty sure I won’t be seeing straight where Andrew is concerned any time soon.”

A sense of unease hit me out of the blue, and I realized it was because as she said that, I was looking right at Max. Max who was gazing at Jennie.

I swallowed and debated what to say. “There is something...”

She shot up out of her seat so fast it scared me. “What?” She ripped her sunglasses off and grabbed my hands in a panic. “Tell me.”

“Jennie, calm down.” I squeezed her hands to reassure her I wasn’t about to drop some huge bomb that would destroy her illusions of Andrew. “It’s about Max.”

She cocked her head and scrunched up her eyebrows in confusion, “Max?”

“He’s not happy about Andrew.” I thrust my chin in Max’s direction and Jennie turned to look with her mouth half hanging open.

“But he doesn’t want me,” she whispered.

“I don’t think he knows what he wants. I don’t think he’s ever known. And right now all he sees is Andrew.”

She turned back toward me, her eyes wide with confusion. “What does that mean?”

“It means nothing. He’s had every opportunity to date you and he never took that chance. He’s not the guy for you, he never has been and he never will be. But right now he’s confused. And I just wanted you to be aware.”

Jennie stared off at something past me for a long minute before looking back at me. “Okay. I’ll make sure I pay attention. He may be an idiot, but I don’t want to hurt him.”

We settled back into our seats and stared out at the water. Tomorrow morning we’d be headed home. I wondered what that was going to look like. How was it going to feel having Jake in my life again? How was it going to feel having anyone in my life again? I’d gotten pretty used to taking care of myself, not having to worry about how my plans affected anyone but me.

My happiness dependent on his happiness.

There was a certain amount of safety in loneliness.

11

Jake and I were true to form. We fell into a comfortable pattern as soon we got home. He was careful not to push my boundaries. He took me out to dinners and movies, and most nights he wound up in my bed. We lasted an entire three days before we had sex again. After that it was like opening a can of worms. We were in the glorious honeymoon stage of dating.

I’m not gonna lie, we spent a lot of time in my bed for the next few weeks. We both went to work, and that was about it. Every other available moment of the day and night was spent together. We weren’t always having sex—we did a lot of catching up too—but there was a ton of sex.

It was that special, can’t-get-enough-of-each-other, need-to-learn-and-explore-every-inch, every sound, every need, sex. We were insatiable. We started off nearly every morning with sex, occasionally met for more at lunch, as soon as work was over, and again before sleep.

Thank goodness it was such a physical workout or we would have wasted away.

I’d never been happier.

We glossed over the necessary things. There were certain assumptions we both felt free making. For instance, I’d always been psychotic about my birth control and monitoring my cycle, so Jake had assumed (correctly) there was nothing to worry about there. But we did go over it, along with a cursory declaration of our clean health. Neither one of us wanted to explore why that was necessary.

But it was the kind of thing that we couldn’t run away from forever. Eventually the topic came up—and it was my fault. My curiosity finally got the better of me.

“What?” he asked.

I shook my head and frowned as I looked back at my iPad, “Nothing.”

He set down his Kindle and raised a speculative eyebrow. “Bullshit. You don’t look at me like that for nothing. You have a question on your mind.”

I sighed and looked back up at him. I still wasn’t sure if it was really the time to bring it up, but then again, it was going to come up eventually. I gathered up what little courage I had, set aside the iPad, and dove in. “I want to know about the women you were with between me and... me.” It was odd to refer to that span as the time between our relationships.

He sat straight up and turned to face me, his eyes growing deadly serious. “I’ve been waiting for this.” He threaded his hands together in his lap, taking in a deep breath. “I want to start off by saying I’ve never been in love with anyone but you.”

The reassurance was nice, but he had already said that. “But...”

He contorted his face and I knew I wasn’t going to like what was coming next. I don’t know how I knew—it was just a gut feeling that hit me like a punch right in the breadbasket.

“I had a friend over there. We helped each other out in that department.”

Yep, the world fell away as the wind poofed right out of my lungs.

I guess I wanted to hear he’d had a bunch of random women over the years. A friend kind of sounded like a relationship, and I hated the idea of Jake in a relationship with anyone. “For how long?”

I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to know any of this. Why was I asking?

“Five years.”

I had to move. I hopped off the bed and started pacing around my bedroom. Back and forth, back and forth, across the floor. My heart was thumping and my stomach was churning as my mind took off in a million directions—not one of them helpful. I wasn’t so sure dinner was staying down. “That’s a pretty long time.”

Jake was following my movements across the room, his hands folded carefully in his lap. “It was just sex, Eve. The way work shifted around sometimes we wouldn’t see each other for months—but it was just sex. We had no romantic attachments. She had needs, I had needs...” his voice trailed off when I put my hands in the air for him to stop.

I had enough information and I needed a moment to process. And processing involved a lot more frantic pacing. I felt like I was coming apart. I had an overwhelming urge to run and escape, but I fought it back.

Finally I ended up at my window looking out over the lawn. I tried to picture what it would have been like. Did she call him? Did he call her? Did they randomly bump into each other and hit a bathroom? Was she pretty? Oh, god, I didn’t want to know that.

Suddenly his arms were around me and his lips were behind my ear. “Only you, Eve. I’ve only ever loved you.”

I leaned into his embrace. God I loved being in his arms.

“Why did it end?”

He squeezed me tighter, “When I realized I was ready to come home. About a year ago.”

“You haven’t had sex in a year or were there others?”

He sighed and rested his head on my shoulder. For the life of me I wished I would stop asking questions I didn’t want to know the answers to.

“I’ve been with a few others since you.” He didn’t answer my question.

The world got a little spinny with that info and I pushed him off of me, beelining for the bathroom and emptying my stomach of all the wretchedness swirling inside me. Unfortunately it didn’t help my racing heart. That was still pounding on the inside of my chest like it wanted out of my body.

Intellectually I knew Jake was young and sexy and over the course of ten years having sex with a few different women probably wasn’t all that insane. And it wasn’t like I didn’t have my own list of partners. Of course we’d continued to live our lives. But I wish we hadn’t.

He was mine and he should never have been gone from my side, never had the opportunity to be with anyone else.

I heard the faucet and found a cup of water in my hand a moment before I felt his hand on my back. “I’m sorry.”

I smiled at him weakly as I picked myself up off the floor and brushed my teeth, attempting to get all the vileness out. I think it only partially worked.

“I don’t really remember a whole lot about those first few years. What I know mostly comes from Tom. I told you I was wild and out of control, and that included women. I remember hating myself—”

I pushed him out of the way as I made a repeat visit to the toilet. The very idea of him being with another woman... I shuddered. But at least this time I was pretty sure I was done.

Back to the sink, my mouth clean once again, I eased myself back onto the bed feeling like I’d just been through a marathon. “So, in summary, you fucked around for a few years, got yourself a whore, fucked around with her and a few others, and then decided you were healed so you cleaned up your manwhore ways and came home to me.”

He stood a safe distance away in the doorway to the bathroom looking at me, but not looking at me. His mind was in his past, not here with me. “I wish I could stop hurting you,” he said simply.

I wish that too. “Then explain it to me so I understand.”

He grimaced and looked down at the floor, “I was lonely and angry. I acted out in every way I could, including with women. Eve, I honestly thought we were done. I never thought I’d be able to come home, or ever deserve you. I just tried to survive.”

I closed my eyes and laughed at the way it hurt.

Jake sat down beside me, the bed dipping under his weight, “My five years with Ashley was nothing but two screwed up people using each other to get through life.”

Ashley. That name was moving to the top of my Most Hated Names list.

“I only loved you.”

I sighed and leaned into his shoulder. I wanted to blot out all that dreaded information, but I knew it was etched into my brain forever. And I knew it was a consequence of the path Jake chose. I had no power over that choice any more than I had any power over how he chose to recover. It was what it was. And my comfort was in the fact that he did, in fact, love me.

Didn’t make the next few days hurt any less.

* * *

I struggled, I admit it, with Jake’s list of whores. Ashley. I hated her most of all. And it brought up every insecurity I was struggling with. I fought back my fear that Jake might leave again. I pushed back on my feelings of inadequacy. But my biggest problem was confronting my anger.

I was angry at Jake for leaving. Because he left, he’d also been with other women. I rationalized that if Jake had stayed he would have been just as screwed up and might have wound up acting out with women here. He may have cheated on me, left me, ruined our relationship. Done things that would have truly ruined our relationship forever. But it didn’t help much.

I was pretty much just angry about the whole thing.

To Jake’s credit, he gave me space. He fucked me if I asked for it, but otherwise was very tender, making love to me at every opportunity. It was very sweet and reaffirmed his words: that he’d only ever loved me.

Unfortunately it was nothing compared to what happened when Jake finally found out about Sebastian.

It was a Wednesday evening. Jake had brought home a ridiculous amount of sushi for the four of us. Andrew was stuck at work so the three of us got started without him. We were around the massive island in the kitchen: rolls, sushi, and sashimi splayed out, a bottle of sake was being shared. We were laughing and thoroughly enjoying sampling all the different treats before us when Jennie picked up a piece of tuna sashimi.

The rectangular chunk of raw fish was perched easily between her chopsticks as she held it up in front of her face and started laughing. “Oh Eve, are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

I froze as I realized exactly what she was thinking, and unfortunately I couldn’t get my mouth to work in time to stop her.

“You screamed so loud! I think half of Samurai Blue jumped out of their seats! I still can’t believe Sebastian snatched this,” she wiggled the sashimi at me, somehow missing the look of complete horror on my face, “right out of your mouth. It was so not like him to kiss you like that!”

Jake was frozen at the end of the counter, his neck muscles working and his fists crushed around the edge of the counter. He didn’t need to know who Sebastian was—Jennie had given him the only information he needed.

Her face immediately fell as her eyes went wide. “Oh my god. I don’t why I just said that.” She locked eyes with me, “I’m so, so sorry.” Her voice fell away so that she was practically mouthing the apology.

I looked over at Jake who was off somewhere else in his mind. He was looking straight ahead, but he wasn’t seeing anything in front of him. “Jake...” I started.

He didn’t move, except for the muscles flexing in his arms, but his eyes shot to mine. “I need a minute.” He finally released the counter from his grip and stepped back. “I’m going to go take a quick shower. You ladies finish your dinner.” He looked pointedly at me. “Meet me upstairs in a bit?”

I nodded, swallowing down the lump in my throat. “I’ll be up in a minute.”

He nodded tightly, the sadness in his eyes so obvious I could feel it.

“Eve, please don’t hate me,” Jennie whispered, her face still twisted with regret.

I popped a piece of sushi in my mouth and carefully chewed, using the time to order my thoughts. “It was time, we’ve been putting this off. Don’t beat yourself up.”

She shook her head slowly. “I’m still sorry. It wasn’t my place to push you where you weren’t ready to go.”

Maybe we weren’t ready to go there, or maybe it was a dark pall that had been hanging over us for weeks. Either way, what was done was done, and a little part of me was relieved to get it all out in the open. It felt like one of the last big hurdles in front of us. Not the very last by any means—there was one much larger still to come—but this was next in line. It would be a good test of Jake’s claim he wouldn’t run.

When I got upstairs the shower was still running and I knew exactly how I wanted to handle Jake. The bathroom was foggy from the humidity and I quickly stripped naked, my work clothes falling in a trail from doorway to shower. He saw me coming, watching me silently strip with a dark, intense stare, drinking me in with each step.

By the time I reached him, the air was alive and crackling between us. I could feel him and the darkness around him. The shower door opened and his large hand wrapped around my waist, pulling me inside.

The shower was just barely big enough for two people to comfortably fit. The tiles had a rough finish and a design ran along the top. Glass enclosed it on two sides with a door closest to the wall.

Everything about our shower sex was a mix of pleasure and pain. The hot water stung as it hit my dry flesh, but I quickly got used to it, even welcomed the comfort it brought me from the chill of the air. Jake’s fingers dug hungrily into my soft flesh. I would have cried out from the roughness with which he handled me, but I didn’t want to stop him and I knew my cry would snap him out of whatever world he was lost in.

I wanted him to use me. I wanted him to have me in whatever way he needed me.

He spun my back against the wet shower tile, hiking my leg up as his tongue forced its way inside my mouth. He was intense and hard with every movement he made.

Unlike every other experience I’d had with Jake there would be no lead up to this. He was going to take me hard and fast with no foreplay or slow pleasuring.

He kept his head down on my shoulder—in fact I don’t think he’d looked at me once as he forced his way inside me. I dug my nails into his shoulder as he desperately pumped into me over and over. Then he grunted deep in his throat, thrust hard and deep, then froze, dropping his forehead back onto my shoulder until he caught his breath. When he finally looked up there was no change in his eyes, they were still as distant and dark as they had been when he first pulled me into the shower.

That was when I knew we weren’t done. We were only getting started.

He silently reached for my body wash, the scent of vanilla and honey filling the steamy room in an instant, and he slowly, thoroughly washed me. It wasn’t until he was done that he finally touched me with the intent to please.

I hated the silence.

His hand followed the water, gliding down my belly and between my legs. He worked his magic until I came apart, shattering into a soft, but spectacular orgasm.

I was little bit relieved it happened quickly. I had a feeling Jake would have kept me nailed to the shower wall until I gave him what he wanted.

His lips found mine again, but he still wasn’t right. “Let’s get you clean,” he murmured, the sadness still in his eyes.

I washed my hair while he dried off. When I was dry too, I found him sitting up in our bed with a pair of black pajama pants on. I grabbed a soft t-shirt and panties before joining him and I sat down carefully, unsure of how to handle him.

“Tell me about him,” he said softly.

Knowing how well I’d taken Ashley and Jake’s many others, I really, really didn’t want to tell him about mine. I didn’t want to relive the days or weeks of distance between us. I didn’t want to see him run.

But we would always be tied to the past until things like this were out of the way. “His name was Sebastian Monroe,” I said quietly. “He’s two years older than us, he has blond hair and blue eyes. He is six-foot-one, probably one-seventy-five.”

Jake shook his head, his eyes shining as they watched me. “I don’t care about what the fucker looked like. Tell me about him.”

I couldn’t read the emotions on Jake’s face, but I knew they were powerful—and directed at me. “He was a good man and he took very good care of me.”

His eyes darkened and the muscle in his neck flexed. “Keep going.”

It was torture.

“Sebastian was kind and loving, stable and had a good job. He’s a lead architect for a big firm.” Jake was watching me so intently it felt like he had me tied down. “We were happy together but I never loved him... I was content. He was someone to spend my days with and keep the loneliness from crushing me.”

I could have sworn Jake was trembling. “How long?”

This was where logic ceased to exist. It didn’t matter that I’d waited seven years before I took another relationship seriously or that I was simply trying to move on with my life. That wasn’t what Jake was going to hear when I spoke. Instead he would hear I tried to love someone other than him, and that reality would hurt like hell.

“Sebastian and I were together for a year. He moved in here for the last six months we were together.” Jake closed his eyes and lowered his head when I spread out my hands indicating Sebastian and I lived in this same room. “He would have proposed if I hadn’t broken it off.”

“Why did you?”

I sighed and closed my eyes, wishing he could really hear me, not all the fear and regret that was clouding everything around us. “I didn’t love him, Jake. I liked him, nothing more.”

“Did he make you come?”

The question was so abrupt and vulgar it threw me off. It was probably the last thing I expected him to ask me right now. “Ummm, yes?”

Jake took a deep breath but didn’t pull his eyes off me. “Did he make you come like I do? Every time? Or did he leave you wanting?”

Jake’s question was ludicrous. He’d clearly bypassed upset, gone right past angry, and nose-dived into jealous rage. “He wasn’t an idiot, Jake. Of course he got me off. Just like Ashley got you off.” I knew bringing her up was a low blow, but I got the response I wanted, Jake flinched.

How did I make him understand that regardless of everything, Sebastian had never been Jake? “Did he make me tremble from across the room the way you do when you look at me? No. No man has ever made me feel like you do.”

Jake was breathing hard, the bow of his shoulders accentuating the chiseled muscles beneath. When he looked up his eyes were intense in a way that said he wanted to possess me. “I want to erase Sebastian from your mind,” he growled.

Jake looked like he was going to claim me and protect me from any other man who came near me.

And for some reason that raw animalistic possession was everything I’d ever wanted. It said he loved me and only me in a way that was worth killing and fighting for. It may have come later than I’d wanted, but at least it was here.

“So come make me forget his name.”

He moved fast, pulling my legs out from underneath me and sending me flat onto my back. Then he grabbed me by the ankles and yanked me across the bed until I was underneath him. It was an adrenaline rush. “I hate him.” His voice was so gruff, I wished there was some way I could reach inside his heart and make the pain go away.

“I never loved him, Jake.”

He stilled. “Doesn’t matter.”

Then he buried his head in my neck as his hands ran over the thin cotton of my t-shirt. My nipples immediately tingled for more attention and Jake responded by sitting up on his knees and yanking my shirt up over my head.

He suckled and tugged, the sensations causing slick, hot, heat between my legs that ached for its own attention. “I want you,” I gasped. I wanted him inside me where we could both feel a connection. That special connection that comes between two people when they are locked together in orgasm.

Jake responded by yanking down his pants and pulling my panties aside, slamming into me as hard and fast as I hoped he would. The sensation of being filled with him was so satisfying I sighed with relief.

“Oh no you don’t,” he purred, running his nose up the sensitive flesh of my throat to my ear, then tugged at my lobe with his teeth.

It sent another jolt of electricity straight to my sex and I moaned out loudly, “Oh yes...”

“More?” he asked.

I nodded vehemently and he complied, teasing my ear with his tongue while his thumb ran over my nipple and his cock pumped into me over and over. I was quite literally screwed, being teased from every accessible pleasure point simultaneously.

I knew I was being loud but I didn’t care. I wanted Jake to hear how insane he was making me. My muscles were winding up, contracting with anticipation of my coming release. But it wasn’t quick. The buildup was deliciously slow. My body rising and tightening as Jake worked me until I felt like a live wire pulled incredibly tight.

I snapped.

I called out Jake’s name, I made sure of it, as I dug my nails into his flesh, marking him with evidence of my complete and utter satisfaction.

Jake pushed harder, pumping into me faster until I finally felt his own spasms of release. When he was satisfied, Jake rested his forehead against my shoulder. “You okay?”

I took his face into my hands, forcing him to look at me for the first time since he’d entered me. When his eyes locked onto mine I told him the only thing in my mind. “You make me scream, you make me see stars. When you make me come the whole universe stops while I fall apart. You do that. Only you.”

He dipped his head down to brush a soft kiss against my lips. “There is a vast difference between getting a release and being pleasured beyond your wildest dreams, isn’t there?” He kissed me again. “I know, because that’s what you do to me.”

I nodded slowly. “There is no one but you.”

He swallowed. “Good. I want to be the only one you think of, the only one you turn to. I want to take care of you and I’ll kill anyone who comes near you.”

I realized there was a much deeper meaning to his words. They weren’t just some possessive male power play, they were an intense need to protect something he loved and treasured from the evils he knew all to well. When Jake promised to kill anyone who came near me he wasn’t thinking of the guys who might flirt with me one day, or even the Sebastian’s in my life. He was talking about real danger. The kind of danger he knew as a child—the kind that would truly hurt me. I had no doubt in my mind Jake would protect from anything and everything. But I also knew deep down inside he was still worried.

“You will.”

He nodded and kissed me hard, “You’re damn right I will.”

12

We weren’t the same after Jake got all the sordid details about Sebastian, especially once he realized my former lover was still loosely connected to my life. While I hadn’t seen Sebastian in the last year and hadn’t had any conversations with him, I knew he was doing well. I knew that because he and Jennie still regularly chatted. Not to mention Sebastian and Ricardo were pretty good friends. The two met up for golf and Buc’s games on a regular basis.

Then there was the fact that Sebastian was still friendly with my family—with June in particular. He chatted with her on Facebook and kept up with Cassandra. Hell, he even met up with my dad from time to time.

It had pushed Jake away from me and I knew why. It had as much to do with what Sebastian stood for as anything. Sebastian had been the stable, loving man at my side when Jake couldn’t. Because Jake had been on the other side of the world, Sebastian had been part of my life, part of my family.

It didn’t matter that Jake was here now. It didn’t matter that I never loved Sebastian. It was the idea of it all. It was eating away at Jake.

He was distant. Some days it was as if he wasn’t there with me at all. When we made love it was functional, mechanical. I was satisfied physically, but not mentally. He’d started sleeping on his side of the bed again, only holding me for the first five minutes of the night before kissing my head and rolling away.

But then it was if he’d suddenly wake up and realize how many days had passed with him in a stupor. He’d try to make up for being so absent by overwhelming me, showing up for lunch unannounced, bringing my favorite foods, buying me music, and fucking me senseless.

I felt like I was on an emotional roller coaster, never knowing which Jake would show up. I felt like I was starting to lose my mind. I was crying for no reason, avoiding Jake, staying at work later than I had to. The baseball season was winding down so it wasn’t a complete lie, but I also didn’t need to be there as much as I was. I didn’t know how I was going to deal with Jake if the Rays didn’t make the playoffs.

I was starting to get worried. All of this was exactly what I was worried about. If a former ex-boyfriend I didn’t even love could push Jake so far away from me, what would he do with a real problem? Maybe love still wasn’t enough.

The realization was terrifying and it was making me edgy.

It all came to a head over dinner one night. I met him at Estela’s Mexican restaurant down the street from home. In my search for comfort I’d asked for a giant burrito. Jake was brooding over something, paying more attention to the messages he was getting on his phone than he was to me.

“Babe, if you have a problem at work, please go. I can get myself home just fine.”

He set down his phone and glared across the table at me. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m off the clock.”

How was I the ridiculous one? “Then can you put your phone away until we get home? I feel like you and your phone are on a date, not you and me.”

Jake’s brooding quickly became anger. It pissed me off he that was angry at me.

“I am not on my phone that much.”

I snorted, “You believe your own bullshit if you want to, but I don’t have to.”

“Excuse me? Maybe we should go home if you are in such a bitchy mood.”

That was it. I was done, that was the final straw. I slammed down my napkin and pushed back from the table, grabbing my purse, “How about this, Jake. You go to your apartment and I’ll go to my house. Call me when you decide you actually want to be with me again... or better yet, don’t. I’m tired of waiting for you.”

His anger boiled over, fire burning in his eyes. “How dare you say something like that to me? You don’t throw around shit like that. Ever.”

The problem was Jake didn’t understand I wasn’t throwing it around for fun. It wasn’t a game. I really was sick of his bullshit. I understood how badly he hurt, it hadn’t been a picnic to know about Ashley. But it was reality. There was an Ashley and there was a Sebastian. If he couldn’t deal with that, if Jake was going to let it change the way he felt about me, I didn’t want to be with him. I’d already waited too long for him as it was.

“Jake Spencer, pull your shit together or don’t ever call me again. I’m done.”

I stood up and stormed out of the restaurant before Jake and everyone else saw me cry. I was going to cry and it was going to be seriously ugly.

I heard Jake’s footfalls behind me so I started to run. I wasn’t that far from my car and I had a head start, if I hurried I could escape from him before he caught me.

But as I reached for my handle, Jake’s hand closed around my arm just above the elbow. “Eve, wait.” He spun me away from the handle and pushed my back against the car.

“Let go of me right now, Jake.”

He glowered at me, equal parts angry and terrified. “Not if you are going to run away from me.”

“Let go of me right now, Jake.” I repeated through clenched teeth.

He studied me for a moment longer, but then released my arm. “Fine,” he bit out.

I glared at him. “You can’t keep me here. Figure out what you want, Jake. I think you’ve forgotten and I’m not in the business of standing by and waiting for you any longer.”

I wrenched open my door and this time Jake let me leave. He just stood there on the side of the road watching me leave with a hollow look on his face. I was grateful for the speed and power of my expensive engine as my heart squeezed in my chest. I needed to flee. Jake was lost but it wasn’t my job to help him find his path.

* * *

I didn’t go home.

Instead, I went to work. It was after hours and there was no game tonight, but going home felt all wrong. Work felt safer. My office was one place that was completely mine and no one else’s. Besides, there was plenty to do there to keep my mind from fixating on things I did not want to face.

Like the possibility Jake might really be gone this time.

The minute I stepped into my office I felt better. My dark wood desk stood in the middle of the long, large room. I wasn’t a manager yet, I didn’t have an office as enormous as Josh’s, but it was a very comfortable size, more than large enough for my desk, the two leather chairs that faced it, a small bar and refrigerator to one side of my office door, a couch on the other, a book case along the far wall, and a gorgeous window looking out over the twinkling lights.

I didn’t flick on the harsh overhead light. Instead I reached for the lamp on my desk, setting a soft glow to the room. I threw my bag in the drawer I always kept it in and plopped into my comfortable leather chair. I wanted to hate him, but somehow I couldn’t find it in me. There was just hurt.

A lot of hurt.

I was disappointed. I knew he would be thrown by Sebastian and I knew we would have our setbacks in life. But I had really hoped he would handle all of this better. It worried me. If he could get this lost to his insecurities, to lock himself up inside his head away from me, then what would happen if something truly difficult came along? Like Jake Sr.?

I hadn’t even dared let that name cross my lips and I cringed thinking it now.

Work. I needed to focus on work. I opened my laptop and gave it a moment to wake. My foot tapped nervously and my fingers drummed on the wood of my desk.

The moment my desktop appeared on the screen I navigated to the file holding my event notes, searching for last year’s playoff notes. Our planning meeting was coming up next week and I was going to be so damn prepared no one would need to do anything else.

I spent an hour going over my old notes and making a plan. Then I thought of the new fan experience we were beginning construction on the moment the season was over. I thought of all the things we’d be able to do next season. And I thought of the lead engineer and his brilliant plans.

Damn Jake. Why couldn’t he just stay out of his own damn way? I wondered where he went when I left. I wondered what he was doing right now.

My phone lit up with a text message. Please let me in. I’m outside.

My heart started racing. I’m not sure if it was with relief or fear, but it was racing out of control. I didn’t think, I just grabbed my keycard and walked out to let Jake in.

He looked like hell. His eyes were haunted and his face was pulled down, a hard set to his jaw. But he was tall and sure, his shoulders were square and his back was straight. I could feel his immense energy wash through the air the moment I opened the door.

It hit me like a wave and took my breath away. This man, for all the things he’d done to me, all the demons he’d fought, still had something about him that made me utterly stupid in his presence. My knees were weak and I felt that delicious spin of dizziness I got when he is in full male mode.

“Can we talk?”

I stood aside to let him in, his arm brushing me as he walked past. He waited while I secured the door, waving at the security camera to let them know all was well, and then he placed his hand on the small of my back. Whenever I was in charge, when he accompanied me to my work functions or met with us here in an official capacity for work, he always assumed that position: almost a half-step behind me, but his hand possessively on my back. It connected us without being too intimate. It made my belly quiver with nervous energy and all the muscles between my legs clench like I was falling.

Neither of us said anything. Not until the door to my office was safely closed.

He pressed me to the door, his warm breath dancing across my lips. “I’m sorry baby. You are right, I’ve been gone.”

I looked up at him through my lashes. I was relieved he was here, but I was still mad and hurt. “I never loved him.”

Jake closed his beautiful green eyes and grimaced at the mention of Sebastian. He leaned into me and placed his hands on either side of me, trapping me against the door. “I hate that he took my place.”

“I hate that he took your place. I thought you were never coming home.”

He opened his eyes and they were burning. I felt all the emotion in them, I felt his regret wash over me. “I know. And I still can’t help myself. I can’t tell you how much I’ve beat myself up.”

“I can’t do this, Jake. I can’t be with you if you’re not going to talk to me. You can’t just check out. You scare me.”

He stepped back and ran his hand through his gorgeous dark hair. “Eve,” he sighed, “I should have gotten over myself and called. I should have done something. Ten years...” He shook his head, wandering across my office and settling in front of my window. For some reason I started to follow, but stopped at my desk. I felt like he needed space. “I still can’t believe it took me ten years.”

“But you’re here now. Remember?”

He turned, his eyes pinning me where I was. “Yes... I am.” He stalked toward me. Only stopping once he was pressing me into the desk. This was the intense Jake I’d come to know over the last couple of weeks. The primal one who took me as his, who possessed me at his will. I enjoyed this Jake as much as I enjoyed the sweet lover who worshiped me. I loved his two sides when they weren’t being driven by his self-loathing. They were both passionate and merciless. He took my lips, his rough hands grasping my face and holding me while his tongue explored.

“I’m done. I will pull my shit together,” he rasped. The husky quality to his voice made me quiver. He wanted me.

“I missed you.”

I didn’t need to say any more than that. I knew things would be right between us again. But Jake didn’t. He still needed something more. He looked deep into my eyes and smiled, a wicked grin I recognized all too well. It was a side of Jake I hadn’t seen in a very, very long time. It was a side of both of us that was very dangerous.

And as he left me to lock my office door I knew we were about to unlock something we might not be able to handle.

The click of the lock sent the familiar thrill surging through my body. We were going to have sex in my office. Every time I came in to work from today through the rest of time I would think of Jake making me come against this desk.

That thrill of excitement was like a drug, it was a high, the adrenaline flooding my veins as my heart continued to pump faster.

“Turn around,” he commanded, his dark energy reaching across the room and closing the distance between us.

I wanted him so badly I couldn’t seem to stop myself from following his commands.

He pushed up my skirt and slowly slid my panties down my legs, coaxing each foot up until they were free. Then he laid them out on the desk beside my hand.

His warm, firm body pressed up against mine. I could feel every muscle as they flexed against me and his erection as it dug into the small of my back. Jake was so damn sexy, everything about him turned me on, even his scent and demanding voice.

I ground back against him as his hands reached around to my front, pushing my head back onto his shoulder, running down my exposed throat as his lips found my skin. “Darlin’ you smell so damn good,” he groaned as his hands wandered to the buttons of my shirt.

I was helpless in his arms, and I liked it. The two of us together didn’t need thoughts, just instincts, just pure reaction. His warm breath danced across the skin of my neck, tantalizing me as his fingers glided against my skin, button by button.

Then my shirt was open and his rough hands sampled all of my exposed skin. “Do you know what your skin does to me?” He pulled my body tight against his erection. “I can’t think straight.” And then his hand ran all the way down between my legs, where my skirt was still hiked up, and clutched me with his large hand.

I moaned, bucking into his firm grip.

I could feel him smile against my neck. “That’s right darlin’. We’re good together. Don’t you forget that.” Then his fingers reached inside first one, then the other, cup of my bra, pulling my breasts up and out for him to play with. The underwire of my bra holding them in the perfect position.

A glance down told me what I already knew: they looked damn good like that.

Jake chuckled, “I love it when you do that.”

“Fucker,” I purred back. I liked that he loved it. It was hot and it made me hotter. Especially between my legs, which was getting wetter by the minute.

His fingers closed on each of my nipples, sending a shot of pleasure throughout my body. I writhed against him, gasping for air. He played like that, pulling a symphony of noises and pleasures out of me until suddenly he was done, his hands sliding down my sides to my hips. “I’m going to taste you now. Bend over.”

Taste me?

He pushed gently on my back as he dropped to the floor behind me. Was he really going down on me now, when I was so wet, so hot and bothered? His tongue running from my clit to my core was my answer. It was like fire. It was pleasure in every sense of the word. He was fucking crazy.

“You taste like heaven,” he murmured. Like everything else with Jake, it didn’t matter how hard I tried to fight it, my body loved what he did to me. I tried to ignore how good his tongue felt gliding everywhere and plunging inside me, but I couldn’t. Just like I couldn’t ignore my clit as it started to throb for attention. It was burning and pulsing. It was begging to be touched.

But instead, his hands glided up the back of my legs, spreading me wider for him. “Hold yourself just above the desk so that those perfect nipples hit the top while I blow your mind.”

For some reason his words made me gasp. It wasn’t like they should have shocked me, he was already as far deep inside me as he could get, and yet... it sounded so dirty, so crass. And my stupid body liked that, too. I felt the pulse deep inside me calling for him to do everything he had just promised.

So I did just as he asked, repositioning my bent torso so that my dangling breasts just barely brushed the cool surface of my desk.

First one, then two fingers slid inside me. My breasts swung gently back and forth, the nipples catching the surface and sending little spikes of pleasure everywhere, making the muscles in my core contract with anticipation of more, getting wetter and wetter with each glorious movement.

And Jake was clearly enjoying himself. Occasional grunts of approval vibrating against my clit, his tongue doing glorious things to the most sensitive parts of my body, until I was shuddering from the waves of pleasure and the promise of yet another powerful orgasm.

That was when he pulled me hard against his mouth at the same time he pressed his fingers inside me. It was what I needed. I came hard, collapsing on the desk as my body throbbed. Jake teased every last ounce of pulsing pleasure out of my core until I shuddered one last time against the cool desk.

I was dazed, but I heard him stand up behind me and unzip his pants. They fell to the ground and I saw them as they were tossed to the side. I knew what was coming next. At least I thought I did.

So I was surprised when his hand gently glided over my throbbing sex, his fingers diving inside for just a moment.

There was a pause and then he was beside me where I could gaze at his perfectly chiseled body and fully erect cock. “You see this?” he asked. “This is all you. I am this hard because I want you and no one else. And this?” he ran his hand up and down his entire length. It was glistening. With me. “All of this is from you, every single bit of it. You are so... fucking... wet.” His eyes rolled back in his head as a wave of pleasure shuddered through him.

I was hot all over again.

Then he moved back around behind me, pulling off first my shirt, then stripping me of my bra. Finally my skirt fell to the floor. “So I’m going to fuck you now.”

He plunged inside me and the heated throbbing started off like a racehorse again. I called out his name as my body bucked up off the desk. He stilled for a moment as we locked our bodies together and he gently ran his bare hands down my back and over my bottom, “Oh your skin...”

Then he hooked his hands around the front of my hips and started to move. Slow at first, but he quickly picked up speed. I was definitely still wet for him and my body was quickly responding to his pounding. I started to push back looking for more, using the desk as leverage.

He took advantage of my change in position, sliding his hands around until they found my breasts, seeking out my already swollen and used nipples, pinching them between his fingers and rolling until I cried out. I didn’t know how much pleasure I could take, but Jake seemed bound and determined to find out.

And then suddenly he stopped, pulling out of me and pulling me up. “I want to see you.” His eyes were dark and full of a possessive need I’d never seen in him before. He picked me up and deposited me on the desk, thrusting back inside me hard. I arched my back and barked his name again, something I realized he enjoyed very much. It made me smile.

“Do you need to lie down?” he asked as he moved slowly in and out while watching me intently. I was so swollen I could feel every vein and ridge as it glided over my skin.

“No Jake, I don’t.” I used his name on purpose. To my extreme satisfaction his eyes burned with need. Need for me. Need for the woman who was saying his name.

“Good,” he growled, bending me back so that he could have full access to my breasts. His warm mouth closed over my nipple just as he glided fully back inside of me so deep I didn’t think he’d ever come back out.

But he did. Over and over as his tongue worked my breast. First his warm tongue would run over my nipple, then his teeth would tug and pull, only to be replaced by his mouth sucking. In and out my nipple went just as his dick moved in and out of me.

And then the first pulses started deep, deep inside my body. Not an orgasm yet, just the early promise of one about to erupt. Jake felt them, because he smiled against my breast. With my red and swollen nipple between his teeth he looked up. “That’s right, darlin’ give it to me. Just give in to it. I’ve got you.”

It was if he knew how powerful the coming orgasm was going to be. That it was going to wring every muscle in my body, that it would tear me from the inside out. I’m not sure how he knew, but he did, and he was ready.

With one last lick, nip, and suckle on my breast, he stood fully up so that he was looking down into my eyes as my body split in two, pounding harder than ever, pulling my body up and down against his, as it took over, coming apart at the seams, and folding around his hard body.

My muscles squeezed powerfully around his firm cock as it plunged back inside, locking and holding him in place. I pulled his body against mine, my muscles shuddering, my nails digging into his skin, as I called out his name.

That’s when I felt his release. The pulsing of his cock only spurred my orgasm on, taking it further and longer. I tossed my head back as the next round of contractions hit, “Oh fuck!” I called as Jake managed to pull back and thrust all the way inside me one last time.

It was then that he set me back down on the desk and pushed as far into me as he could. It made me throb even more, calling out more noises and curse words.

Jake finally barked out a final curse, leaning his sweaty forehead into mine. We were locked like that for a minute while our bodies calmed down. He held me up so that I couldn’t escape.

“Tell me Sebastian made you come like that. Tell me any other man has ever made you come like that.”

No. No one had ever made me feel anything like Jake did in any way. “You’re the only one,” I replied quietly. I would tell him that as many times as he needed to hear it.

He melted around me, gathering me against his body. “I won’t run again,” he whispered against my kisses. “I won’t ever hurt you again.”

13

“I come bearing gifts!” I declared as I stepped into my family suite at the Trop. Jake and his partner Greg were using the suite to schmooze some clients. Clients, it turned out, who came with good news of their own. Spencer, Hamilton and Associates had been awarded a big contract for the engineering to expand the Channelside Entertainment District.

“No!” the larger man, I think his name was Frank, exclaimed. “You are just too much my dear!” He looked at me with lust. I couldn’t imagine a man like him ever treating a woman with respect. Women were meat to him. Warm places he could stick his flesh and find temporary comfort from his pathetic life. I flinched as his hands moved toward the box I was holding.

Jake seemed to notice my discomfort and wrapped his arms around me from behind. “You didn’t need to do this,” he murmured in my ear, pulling me away from Frank.

“I know,” I said, turning in his embrace to wrap my arms around his neck. “I think I get some sort of thrill out of giving people free crap.”

He chuckled and the rumble from deep in his chest resonated from him to me. It made me feel warm inside.

I hung out in the suite for a while, admiring my boyfriend in his element. He commanded the room, more so than anyone else. The men seemed to want to be him. I could see the admiration in their eyes as they looked over Jake’s three-piece suit, his broad, firm frame, and me on his arm. But it was more than that. Men like Jake didn’t just get respect for no reason. No one told the men in the room to admire him. Jake commanded that from the people around him. They could sense his ease and confidence. They knew he deserved the reputation he had, they could hear his brilliance, and they knew I was by his side out of choice, not because he had money or because he had some hold over me.

“I have to make some rounds, grease some palms, make some other fancy men happy,” I winked at Jake. “I’ll be a little while.”

“I wish you could stay...” he murmured, and I didn’t miss the rough way he said that. Things between us had been good since the night in my office. He and I were back to being easy and happy with each other. We’d decided to accept our past for what it was.

But something else had happened that night. We’d unlocked an old ghost. It had started to appear more and more often—the thrill of sex in unexpected places was exciting to us both.

It was becoming a challenge, an addiction we were seeking out more and more often. And the way it had started for us was glaring me in the face at the moment. Jake was pressing his erection into my back while my hand rested on the very bar he’d fucked me behind the first time we’d gotten that sexual high so many years ago.

I really didn’t have that much work I needed to do right now. But I did need to get away from Jake and this suite during my working hours. The temptation to push our boundaries was getting too high.

“I’ll see you soon,” I murmured, pushing him behind the bar where he could adjust himself before I left.

He smiled down at me as he laughed and tucked himself behind his belt, the glint of longing in his eyes unmistakable.

“No, sir. You stand down right now. You have clients and so do I.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Darlin’ sometimes I want to whisk you away, go live on an island for the rest of our lives, and fuck ourselves stupid.”

I put my hands on my hips and glared at him, knowing full well Frank had just overheard us. “I never said that wasn’t an option. But I think we’d get bored.”

“You and I have enough money that we can do whatever we want,” he said pointedly.

While there was some truth to that statement, I was not ready to start planning ‘ever-after’ with Jake. Not yet.

“I’ll see you soon.” I repeated for the last time, pecking his soft cheek right where my dimple liked to hide.

“Love you darlin’,” he called loudly enough for all the men and women in the suite to stop and smile at us.

I didn’t see it coming. We were in the seventh inning stretch, I’d made all the rounds I needed to make, and I was taking a walk around the outfield concourse when I decided to step out onto the deck. I’d picked a corner hidden in the shadow of the lights. The Rays were winning handily and most of the stadium was beginning to empty. In fact, most of the outfield was a ghost town, real fans having moved to better, emptier seats.

It was a nice moment alone. I wrapped my hands around the cool metal of the railing, stretching my back and smelling the air. The Trop was a dome so it wasn’t the same as an outdoor stadium, but it was close enough—especially with the traditional organ music playing at the moment. I closed my eyes and listened to the sounds of my life. The music, the shouts and chatter, the announcer’s voice, even the occasional call of the vendors offering up last call on soda, ice cream, cracker jacks, and peanuts.

So I didn’t notice him coming until he was behind me. But I knew who it was the moment his arms slid around my hips. I knew the smell of Jake. I knew the vibration he put in the air. “I’m done with my clients. What about you?”

I leaned back into his embrace, resting my head on his broad shoulder. “Yes. I’m done.”

“What are you doing out here?”

I sighed as the announcer came over the loudspeaker announcing the bottom of the seventh inning. “Relaxing.”

Jake sighed into me, “You know you are a rare woman, right?”

I chuckled but didn’t open my eyes. I was enjoying resting against Jake as much as I’d been enjoying listening to the stadium a moment before. “Because I bring your clients gifts?”

Jake growled in my ear, “No. Because you relax in the outfield.”

There had to be something to that, I couldn’t argue his logic. He held me for two batters before his hands started to roam. I was so relaxed I forgot where I was, I didn’t even think twice as his hands roamed over my breasts. It wasn’t until his hand glided down between my thighs that I gasped and my eyes shot open, taking a moment to focus on the green field ahead of me.

“What are you doing?”

He nuzzled my neck, “Having fun.”

Suddenly, a memory as vivid as the field in front of me, flooded my mind. We were twenty-one, in this same outfield, in a similar situation. It was late in an easy-win game, the stadium was nearly empty and it was cold as hell. We were huddled up under an enormous Rays fuzzy blanket.

We’d had sex in the outfield.

Slow, under that blanket, over the course of the entire eighth inning. Well, we’d pleasured each other anyway. It was all Jake’s fault. Him and his magical hands. Surprisingly I’d been the fast one that day. Maybe it was the excitement of what we were doing, or maybe he was just really on his game. Either way he’d gotten me off with those hands of his in seemingly record time, all with his eyes carefully trained on the field ahead.

It had taken me much longer to get him off. I’d taken that badly. I was young and stupidly felt it was a deficiency on my part. Jake claimed he’d just been enjoying himself too damn much to come any sooner.

But that was then. Jake’s hands caressed my backside lovingly, smoothing over the roundness. “This is a dark corner, Eve. We could do it.”

“No,” I said firmly. I was not having sex with him here. It was one thing to be young and stupid, it was quite another to do it where I worked, out in the open, in the middle of a game.

His hands instantly left me. “As you wish.”

I felt naked and I realized how hot I was. My core was throbbing, my nipples tingling. I was panting. And with Jake’s light touch gone, I felt bereft.

“Come back,” I choked, my hand reaching out blindly behind me.

“As you wish,” he repeated. I felt his smile as he kissed my neck and the warmth of his body enveloped me from behind. “I’m not going to do anything crass,” he murmured. “We aren’t kids hiding under a blanket. You are at work and looking damn fine, I might add.” He leaned in so that his lips were at my ear at the same time his hand traveled up the front of my loose skirt. “No one will know what I’m doing to you, but you.”

Stupid or not, I wanted it. I let go of my last inhibitions and relaxed against his palm.

“That’s right, darlin’, just let go,” he whispered, his warm breath dancing across the sensitive skin behind my ear.

And I did. I relaxed against the railing in front of me and opened my legs to his hand, allowing him to touch and caress whatever he wanted.

“Just look at how beautiful the field is from here, Eve.”

It sent my heart racing. The thrill of being pleasured out in the open was energizing me. My blood was pumping with excitement. My skin was tingling from the rush and a deep throb was pulsing low in my belly.

Jake wanted to hear my strangled rasps as I fought to keep my pleasure a secret. He liked hearing the struggle, it was part of the thrill for both of us, but Jake especially, to know it was because of him I was panting and wild and desperate not to get caught.

I liked pleasing him too much. I was using this situation and I knew it. Things between us were good, but there was still a wall, and I was using sex to hide behind it. I had a feeling Jake knew, but he was afraid to push me too hard. Any time things got too intense, any time I felt Jake probing into an area I wasn’t ready to go, I’d offer myself up to him, distracting him from his questioning with my pleasure as prize.

I could see the disappointment that flashed through his eyes just before he replaced it with desire. He was letting me hide behind my wall, I just didn’t know for how long.

Jake stilled his large hand, his two middle fingers buried deep inside me, and I pulsed several times. He pressed me to him so I could feel his erection, “You are so, so very beautiful when you’re aroused,” he growled in my ear.

I pulsed again.

His free hand caressed my backside, sending an electric current over my sensitive flesh, before smoothing up the arch of my back and hooking over my shoulder. His mouth was at my ear again and I was all anticipation, being held captive at the edge of orgasm. “Come. Right now, Eve.” he demanded, pulling down on my shoulder at the same time he thrust up with his fingers inside me. The sudden pressure was my undoing. I came hard, my sex squeezing and savoring his large fingers inside me. He turned my head, thrusting his tongue almost painfully into my mouth to quiet my cries. He held me tight while I fell apart, his strong arms destroying and protecting my body simultaneously.

The moment I was calm again he slid his fingers away and my skirt flitted back down into place. His free hand on my hip spun me to face him and I leaned lazily back against the rail, still weak. He stepped between my thighs, his arm all the way around my waist holding me close, and locked his green eyes with mine.

I was caught in his stare, completely unable to look away as he raised his glistening fingers and licked them clean. “Dessert,” he murmured.

I don’t know why it was so damn erotic that Jake liked the way that I tasted, but it was. Knowing that the most intimate part of me drove him wild to the point of distraction and lust was hot. It just was.

“I’m glad I could help with that,” I replied huskily.

He grinned wickedly as he licked the last of me from his fingers and pulled me tight against him, “Can we go home? I’m ready to fuck you in our bed like a good boyfriend.”

I bit my lower lip as a fresh wave of excitement rushed through my veins. “As you wish.”

* * *

Jake took me out for a special dinner. Dinner turned into a walk along the water. His fingers were threaded through mine and a small smile played on his lips.

“You’re happy tonight,” I murmured.

“I am,” he agreed.

I looked up at him questioningly and he chuckled. “I’ve got a couple of good things to tell you, actually.”

I paused, turning toward Jake. The sun was set, but the sky was still glowing a brilliant orange behind him. I loved the long summer sunsets. It made the days seem so eternal and the nights so short. “You’ve been holding out on me all night?”

Jake looked down at me with a satisfied look, “Darlin’, there is a time and place for everything.”

“Spill it.” Sometimes I really hated how patient Jake could be.

He chuckled, the warm sound of his voice washing over me. “I landed a very, very large contract to develop a new piece of equipment. It will require both Greg and I to oversee a whole new division at the company.” He shoved his hands casually into his pants pockets and shrugged his shoulders, “I beat out a lot of major firms for this.”

“That’s fantastic!” I cried jumping up and hugging him. He laughed heartily and put his arms carefully around me, his head dipping into the crook of my neck. I felt him breathe in my scent. The tender gesture made my heart race and I hugged him closer. “I’m so proud of you.”

He squeezed me and whispered in my ear, “I’ve got something else, too.” His lips grazed my earlobe before his teeth tugged, sending a shot of pleasure through me and making me gasp, “Oh really? Do tell Mr. Spencer.”

He pulled back and grabbed my chin between his thumb and forefinger; studying me with a gaze so intense it scorched my panties. “Are we okay? Since my little freak out?”

I nodded slowly, incapable of looking away from his intense stare. “Yes, we are. But I do wish you’d talk to me more. I feel like I’m still trying to get to know you.”

“What do you want to know?”

I laughed, “Jake, so far I’ve got lots of sun, lots of sand, that you worked a lot, occasionally went to Germany, and fucked a girl named Ashley for five years. It’s not a pretty picture in my head right now.”

Did he really not understand how his lack of information was confusing me?

He let go of my chin, but didn’t move away. His physical presence was a little overwhelming. “I was lonely.” It was a confession and one he wasn’t comfortable providing. “I had Tom, who was busy as fuck running a company. He worked my ass off and when I wasn’t working I was looking for an outlet for my anger. I was always looking for something to make me feel like I wasn’t alone. I went to Dubai, I went to Germany, but otherwise I stayed in Iraq and Afghanistan almost entirely. I didn’t want to be anywhere else because the only place I really wanted to be was here with you.”

When he said shit like that, it made those ten years we spent apart seem eternal.

“You were lonely?”

He took a step back away from me and sighed, running his large hands through his messy hair. “Yes, Eve, I was lonely. I had no family except a man who was often more like a stranger than a relative. And I had you.”

“Greg?”

He nodded. “Yeah, he and I really got friendly about five years ago. We hit it off pretty well and he was probably one of the first consistent people I could really count on.” Jake looked up at the darkening sky, the pain and confusion clear on his handsome face. “He’s kinda the big brother I always wished I had. I mean, we’re more friends than anything, but for a couple of years he was the guy I looked up to.”

He stepped away to talk and I felt like there was a mile between us. Maybe it was easier for him to tell me these things if I wasn’t so close, but I couldn’t stand it. I needed to be touching him. I slid my fingers inside his hand. “I love Greg then. I’m glad he could be there for you when I couldn’t.”

Jake’s eyes snapped back to me, clear and intense. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to explain to you how much you were there for me. We weren’t together, but you and everything we were... that was what kept me sane in the end.”

I’d been knocked on my ass a few times. Jake had been the one to do it most of those times. Even if you combined each and every one of them into one giant push, it wouldn’t come near how floored I felt by what Jake just said.

There were declarations of love, and then there was that.

I was stunned into silence as his eyes bored into mine. “Eve, you were always with me. Always in my heart.”

I wanted to burrow in close to his heart, listen to it beat and feel the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.

“I love you Jake.”

He’d said it to me a hundred times since we’d gotten back together, but I hadn’t really felt comfortable saying it back. I did now.

And I meant it. For some reason, hearing him say I’d always been with him, even after years and thousands of miles... I needed to say it.

His arms came around me hard and fast. He held me so close it hurt, but I didn’t care. Hell, I’d probably be happy if he accidentally melded our bodies together permanently. He could crush me against him all he wanted.

“I love you, too,” he said simply, a painful smile on his face. But it was his eyes, so deep and green and boring into my soul that took my breath away. He really could see straight into my soul.

I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. I tried again, but when the words didn’t come, I giggled.

Jake cocked his head to the side and smiled. “I know,” he said simply, his eyes lowering to my lips.

“Just kiss me.”

His smile fell away as he tenderly brushed his lips against mine. I melted against him as my knees went weak and desire rushed through my body. I wove my fingers up into his messy hair, needing to feel him any and every which way I could. His gentle kisses did more to turn me on than anything blatantly sexual. He could be buried deep inside me with any part of his body and not do what his lips just did with that kiss.

“You have another surprise?” I asked breathlessly. The mood between us was thick and ripe. If I didn’t deflect some of the intensity we’d really start pushing our luck with the whole ‘sex in public’ thing. It may be dark but this was a wide-open park and I was not about to test that boundary.

Not even for massive declarations of love.

He loosened his grip slightly, his painful smile transforming into something truly happy... and seductive. “I do.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small black journal. “It’s actually two surprises.” Jake was perfectly still for a moment and he looked off at something past me when he spoke. “One of the things the therapist had me do was write. I wrote a lot. This journal is probably the most important of them all.”

He let go of me and took half a step back, flipping open the black book to a page that was bookmarked. “I don’t need these anymore, but I think they’ll help you understand me better.”

He was giving me his personal thoughts. There really wasn’t anything much more intimate or telling than the words you scribble down at your weakest moments. Giving them to me meant he wasn’t worried about anything. He was willing to share every piece of himself—he wasn’t going to hold anything else back.

“Thank you.”

“It comes with one stipulation.” He cocked his head and eyed me. I nodded. “Read it when I’m not around. I’m more than happy to answer any questions, but I don’t want to see you read it.”

“Okay,” I agreed. I was floored. This was incredibly heavy and intimate stuff. I had never expected him to let me this far into his past.

He smiled a genuine smile. “Well then, you earn the second part of this surprise.” The bookmark wasn’t really a bookmark—it was a necklace. At the end of the chain was a beautiful golden sun. “I was going to give this to you at graduation and I never got a chance.” He swallowed and took a deep breath as he stared at the sun pendant. “I was wearing the damn thing—I didn’t want to lose it with all the chaos at graduation. So when Tom took me, it stayed with me.” He stared at it as he held it up for me to see. “At first I couldn’t look at it, you know? It hurt. But then... I couldn’t live without it. It kept you close to me.”

I touched the necklace and took it from his hands, holding the sun in the palm of my hand. “Why a sun?”

He didn’t answer so I looked up and found him smiling at me. “Because you are my sun. You light up everything in my life. I wanted you to know what you meant to me then, and I need you to know that just as much now. I don’t need it anymore since I actually have you.” He snaked his hand around my waist and pulled me against him. “I want you to finally have it.”

I was speechless as he took the medallion out of my hand at put it around my neck. He smiled approvingly at the way it fell between my breasts. Normally I’d roll my eyes and punch him in the arm. But not this time. This was far too important.

14

We turned our exhibitionism into a game. It could be initiated by either of us, and it always started with a phone call. Even though we didn’t come right out and say here’s how we’re having sex tonight, it was clear from the sound of either of our voices what those phone calls were. It could be dinner or just an after-work event—it didn’t matter. But from the moment the call ended, the foreplay began.

We reveled in the anticipation, in the maneuvering and the planning. It was a high. The call had come in at two o’clock. His voice was deep and husky and the way he spoke so low and quiet turned me on the instant he said, “Hey, darlin’.”

“Hey,” I murmured back.

“We’ve got to stop by the club and make an appearance. Greg is schmoozing some new client. Can I pick you up at five?”

“Of course. But you’ll have to bring me to work in the morning.”

I could hear his sly grin through the phone. “Nothing would make me happier. We’ll have breakfast together as well.”

“Nothing would make me happier.”

“I’ll see you at five.”

By the time I set my phone down my panties were damp and my nipples were tingling.

Three hours of anticipation.

I couldn’t be happier with my clothing choice of the day. I was in a sheer white blouse with gorgeous folds where it opened at the front. Beneath was a thin matching camisole, underneath of which was my bra. My skirt was a black, high-waisted pencil skirt with a gold belt, and three-inch snakeskin heels.

I was going to have so much fun with this.

I stood up, seductively fluffing my hair and turning my camera phone to the front-facing lens. I took three pictures and sent one to Jake. “Do you think this will do?”

To my extreme satisfaction I got an immediate response. “You look delicious…”

At four-thirty I went to the executive bathrooms to freshen up my makeup. I took the eyes up a notch and painted my lips with nothing but lightly tinted gloss (because hot red lipstick leaves too many clues behind). Then I went into the stall and carefully removed all my underwear.

The lack of barrier between my nipples and shirt set them tingling again and my naked sex started to throb with anticipation. I was going to be in trouble if I couldn’t get myself under control. So I spent a moment calming down with deep slow breaths before I returned to my office.

The bra went into my giant computer bag, but the lacey panties? Those went inside a Rays handkerchief. And that handkerchief went inside my clutch purse.

My eyes caught on the black journal tucked inside my bag. I still hadn’t opened it. I knew I was being a chicken, but the words inside that journal were important. I knew they’d change the way I saw Jake, and I was scared it would change us. We were good and I was desperately holding on to the comfortable pattern we’d fallen into. Part of me was dying to see a side of Jake that was always just a little out of reach, but the other part of me wondered if it even mattered. If Jake could leave his past behind, maybe I should too. But then, he’d given it to me for a reason. I think he knew I would always have questions, questions he wasn’t always capable of giving me answers to. This journal was a compromise and I was saving it for when I needed it. Until then, I was going to enjoy having Jake in my life.

At precisely five o’clock Jake knocked on my door and swept into my office with a smart, authoritative air that promised a night of fun was ahead. His three-piece suit looked fantastic on him, as usual.

“Are you ready?” he asked, his eyes intent on me.

I blushed, knowing instantly what dirty thoughts were in his head. “I think so.” Was that my voice? If it was, I was a hussy.

I liked it.

Jake’s eyes longingly lingered on the side of my desk where he had fucked me so well, weeks before. I raised an eyebrow, “Now, now... we can’t be doing that. This is during business hours.”

He smiled at me wickedly, “When does that stop us?”

I shook my head and stood, walking around to press him into the side of my desk, our warm bodies connecting for the first time since this morning. “Never, but I try to be good at work.”

He grabbed my ass hard—it sent a thrill through me—and he smiled his cocky smile. “To cocktails...”

The ride there was quiet, we could both feel the excitement building in the air, our libidos tightly wound, our senses on fire. At least mine were. And by the stern look on Jake’s face, I knew he was working hard at controlling something. My money was on his desire for me.

Once inside we made the necessary rounds and when Jake got pulled into an intense conversation with the owner of some development I could have cared less about, I took my opportunity to explore. It took me five minutes to find the perfect dark corner. It was a hallway off the main room that lead to a ballroom, or at least that was what it looked like to me. The room was empty with stacks of chairs up against the walls. The lights were out and the hallway was very dimly lit. Along the left wall was a long table with two giant fake trees on either side. This hallway was our spot.

I made my way back to the bar, snagged fresh whiskey for Jake and gin and tonic for me. I found him in the same spot I left him, but the conversation had clearly turned toward simpler things.

“There’s my girl,” he smiled at me warmly, but I could see the heat emanating from his eyes.

“Hey baby, here you go,” I murmured, pulling the handkerchief out of my bag.

Jakes eyes zeroed in, dark and intense. “Thank you, darlin’,” he murmured, taking the gift and turning in to me so no one else realized what he was really doing. And what he was really doing was pressing the open side of that handkerchief to his nose and breathing in my scent.

He sighed and whispered, “Fuck you smell like heaven, Eve. I’m hard right now.”

I grinned with victory as he shoved the handkerchief into his pocket and spun me around in front of him to hide his erection.

“If you’ll excuse me Lawton, my lady saw some art she’s in love with.”

Lawton barely noticed us leave as he rushed to another unlucky victim. He certainly didn’t notice that Jake had his firm erection pressed to the small of my back.

Jake breathed in my hair as he drew his nose up the skin of my neck. “I love you...”

I smiled even though he couldn’t see it. “I know.”

I led him down the hallway and we practically shoved our cocktails and my clutch onto the little hallway table as Jake manhandled me into the dark corner. I loved it when he was so turned on he couldn’t help himself, when he didn’t know his own strength.

“Perfect,” he purred.

“I know,” I gasped as he pressed me into the wall, one thigh between mine.

“Are the panties the only thing you took off?” he panted, pulling back enough to look down into my eyes.

I shook my head and bit my lower lip. “No.”

He sucked in a gasp, his eyes rolling back in his head and his hands convulsively seized my arms. “You are so fucking hot.”

All that was well and good, but what I wanted was for him to touch me. I’d been waiting hours for his touch, so I reached up to his left hand, peeling it away from my arm, and placed it on the thin layer of fabric.

He sucked in a breath, “Shit, it’s like there’s nothing there.”

It was incredible how naked I felt under this blouse, my nipples on fire for his attention. He gently, teasingly, ran his hand over the soft fabric and I immediately started panting, my nipples begging for more. I thrust my chest up higher.

“Oh, baby...” he moaned as his tongue snaked into my mouth, its velvet caresses taking away all my sense of reality. His large thumbs ran over my nipples and they peaked against the fabric, adding to the multitude of sensations I was feeling.

He teased me until my nails dug into his shoulders. Then he pulled back, nothing but black want in his eyes and let his hand travel down to my thigh.

I flattened my back against the wall and took a deep, deep breath, slowly letting it out as his fingers traveled up. I swallowed the moment his fingertips touched the slick coating my sex.

Jake thrust his jaw out as he tried to control his own breathing and slowly brushed against me. I closed my eyes and shuddered as he did it again and again. Light touches getting stronger and stronger until he stopped. “Look at me,” he commanded.

And I did. I opened my eyes, panting hard, my nipples riding up and down against the fabric of my blouse, taking in the open surroundings of the dark hallway, looking down toward the faint sounds of the party. We were alone... for now.

I swung my wide eyes back to Jake and at the exact moment he had my full attention he finally thrust two fingers inside me. I bit my lip just in time to quiet the cry that escaped my throat.

Jake leaned in closer, his hot breath dancing across my lips. “That’s right... shhhhhh.”

This was what we loved so much: the high that came with being together in public. Any little thing could ruin it. A wayward sound could reveal us just as easily as a lost guest.

I nodded, still panting, my lips pressed tightly together as he worked me, bringing me hot and swollen right to the edge of climax, but no further.

He was panting heavily now, too, and I knew he was ready. I focused just enough to find his belt, sliding the leather free, unbuttoning and unzipping, diving inside his boxers and finding his hot, throbbing cock.

He shuddered, leaning in to me as I palmed him, working my fist up and down his length several times until I felt his shoulders stiffen. His hands slid up my thighs, hiking my skirt up, then under my arms to press me up while I guided him deep inside me.

I bit my lip again, suppressing the cry of pleasure that so desperately wanted to come out at the same time Jake buried his face in my shoulder, muffling his own groan of pleasure.

He had me so hot, so swollen and ready for release it only took two strokes, two glides of his perfect dick inside my slick body, for me to come apart. My arms tensed around him, my head back against the wall, my thighs squeezing his waist, as wave after delicious wave roared through me.

And Jake was right behind me, taking only a moment longer, his cock kicking as he pumped into me. The moment he was done I slid my feet back down to the floor and Jake reached into his pocket to retrieve the handkerchief and panties.

He pressed the fabric against me and pulled out, tucking himself back into his boxers. I squeezed the handkerchief between my thighs as his hands disappeared to do up his pants.

The minute he was buttoned up he pressed his body against mine, his forehead to my shoulder, while we came down off our high. He nuzzled my neck, his hands massaging my bottom and hips. I loved his after sex caresses, they were always so loving and attentive.

“Good choice,” he murmured, admiring the location I’d selected.

“Thanks for the invite.”

He chuckled, a deep rumble inside his broad chest, “We weren’t supposed to come, but when Greg mentioned it, I couldn’t resist.”

I smiled, enjoying the feel of him. “I could tell by the eleventh hour invite. I was so hot today waiting for this.”

He growled, flexing his hips against me. “You were not the only one.”

He kissed me, long and tender, his fingers tangling in my hair before he went back up my skirt and fished out the handkerchief.

His fingers trailed down the exposed skin of my thigh before repositioning my skirt and sticking the handkerchief back in his pocket. “Good as new,” he murmured.

It was then an older gentleman wandered down the hallway, he stood perfectly still and he didn’t seem to notice us as he mumbled something about the bathrooms and turned to leave.

Jake’s smiled at me slyly, finally stepping back and offering me his elbow, “Shall we?”

“We shall,” I replied. We rejoined the party as if we hadn’t just fucked in the hallway.

15

“Come here,” he purred seductively. It was late on Saturday afternoon and we were in my laundry room out back behind my house. It was an outdoor room with screening for walls. It mostly kept out the roaches. Mostly.

I sauntered toward him feeling like pure sex. He saw me and only me, his eyes locked on my body and his muscles taut with tension. Jake needed me.

It didn’t matter that we’d had sex two times already today. We were insatiable. We’d woken up having sex. And he’d had me while I sunbathed on the bow of my boat. We should be satisfied. We should have had enough sex to at least get us through the end of the day, but no. Here we were, attempting to put our nasty towels from our day in the wash and all either of us could think about was being naked.

Naked with Jake deep inside me where he belonged. I couldn’t seem to shake the feeling he belonged nowhere else, that we were two beings who should never have been separated—we were meant to be one.

His index finger ran along my arm and up my shoulder finding the knot of my bikini top and tugged. My top fell down, exposing my tan breasts. Did I mention my top had been off most of the day?

Jake grinned wickedly, his green eyes lighting up with delight. He may have seen them all day, but he never seemed to get enough. I waited for him to continue my undressing, something he loved to do with a great deal of flair.

He leaned back against the washer and stroked his stubbled chin. “If I were an artist I would paint you,” he purred. “Instead I’ll just memorize you.”

Then his talented fingers untied my bottoms and he finally turned me around, pressing my body flush against the cool metal of the washer, and released the rest of my top. It fell right inside the open machine. I rolled my eyes. “You planned that.”

Jake chuckled, “Actually I didn’t. I just happen to be that good.” His body left mine for a moment. Then his trunks and my bottoms made their way into the washer, too. He pressed his erection into my backside as he reached up to the shelf for the detergent, carefully measuring out the correct amount, closing the lid, starting the cycle, and all the while grinding me into the machine.

Little spikes of pleasure hit me with each movement and I was wet and wanting by the time the machine started. Which only made me gasp and moan. The machine vibrated just enough to heighten my excitement.

“Fuck me, please,” I groaned.

But he didn’t comply. In fact, Jake decided it was time to torture me, placing a hand on the small of my back to hold me in place while his fingers trailed a tantalizing path between my legs. Then he slid his hand up my back to press between my shoulder blades, lowering my chest until my exposed nipples danced along the cool metal of the vibrating washer.

I started panting harder. Jake had a knack for discovering new and exciting ways to pleasure me. And I knew how much he liked the challenge. Jake seemed to get as much pleasure from pleasing me as he did from actually fucking me.

Which was just fine with me.

Because as much as I liked making Jake happy, I liked being teased more.

“How does that feel?” I could hear the breathless way he asked.

“So good,” I replied. I was very close, but the pleasure was exquisite. I didn’t want it to end. I wanted to draw it out as long as I could.

“Let me up.”

Jake stiffened. “What’s wrong, baby?” His voice was laced with concern and his hand immediately came away from my back.

“Nothing,” I purred, turning toward him. Nothing a little fun of my own couldn’t cure. I fell to my knees and grinned up at him.

To my extreme pleasure his eyes rolled back in his head. “Well, then...” he sighed.

I wrapped one hand around his fully erect cock and ran my tongue all the way up its length, tasting the Gulf of Mexico.

“Oh baby, do you know what you’re doing to me?”

“I hope I’m making you feel good.”

He ran his hands through my hair and smiled down at me with the most mischievous half grin on his handsome face. “Like heaven.”

I raised a very pleased eyebrow and locked eyes with him as I slowly wound my mouth around his warm cock. The connection between us was electric as I used my mouth to please him. He watched me, every single move I made. Every glide of my tongue, every suckle of my mouth, every sigh.

He watched as I used my other hand to draw out my own pleasure. He wanted this to last as long as I did—the long, sweet torture of standing at the edge of orgasm was as exquisite a feeling as anything else.

But then we heard the sounds of a car out front and the happy lilt of Jennie’s voice. She and Andrew were home and we were naked out back.

Jake hauled me up off my knees, turned me toward the washer and plunged inside me. The sudden invasion of his erection into my swollen and ready sex sent me gasping for breath. My knees buckled out from underneath me but his arm was around my waist, holding me up. I threw out my hands, bracing them against the vibrating washer and lowered my nipples back down to the cool metal. The combination of Jake thrusting into me from behind combined with the shot of cool sensation from my nipples ripped me in two. My entire body contracted as a pulse from deep inside my body tore out from the center.

I squeezed my lips together, muffling the scream that threatened to burst from my throat. Jake placed his hands on my hips and thrust deep inside me one last time. He grunted, stiffened, and finally relaxed, his hands starting their usual after-sex caresses.

Even through the fog of complete satisfaction I was blindingly aware we had a problem. Jake and I had to stop ignoring our issues. We had to stop trying to get caught.

* * *

Jennie and Andrew had our dinner laid out on the kitchen counter by the time Jake and I came down from showering.

“Barbecue. Perfect after a day in the sun. I could eat a whole pig myself,” I grumbled, grabbing a piece of cornbread to stop the obnoxious growling my stomach was making.

Jake made some noises of agreement.

“Well eat something fast because we have an announcement to make and I don’t want you passing out.”

I stopped mid-chew and stared at her giant blue eyes. Jennie was ridiculously happy. Over the moon, vibrating with excitement, happy. Andrew wasn’t so bad himself. He was watching her, just like he usually was, with a satisfied smile on his face.

They’d gone to visit his family today.

“Well, spill the beans,” Jake exclaimed.

I looked at Jennie expectantly wondering if she was actually going to make me eat a rib before she told us the news.

Her eyes danced. “I’m moving in with Andrew. You need a new roommate.”

She squealed after that and we did what girls do: we hugged and jumped around and said a lot of things in really high voices. The guys did the much more manly thing and shook hands.

“When?” I asked.

She shrugged her shoulders, “Now. I don’t think that you’ve noticed, but I’ve barely been around for a while now.”

Had I noticed? I thought back over the last few weeks and realized I’d been pretty caught up in Jake. “I suck, don’t I?”

She shook her head and hugged me again. “Not at all. I’m obsessed and you,” she paused, holding me back so she could look me in the eye, “have been happy. Finally.”

Oh, if she only knew how much we were still holding back. “I think we need a night away from the testosterone, my friend.”

She looked at me with raised eyebrows. “You have made an excellent suggestion. Soon?”

“Soon.” I promised.

Then Jennie did what only Jennie could get away with: she carefully pranced around the counter back into Andrew’s arms and dropped her bomb. “Now Jake can officially move in here.”

I stopped with the rib halfway to my mouth and glared at her. Andrew looked helplessly at me. He was as incapable of stopping her as I was.

“He sleeps here every night as it is,” she said looking at us both and clearly expecting one of us to join in her celebration.

But I didn’t and neither did Jake.

“Okay, well. I’m going to take a load tonight and Andrew and I will come back tomorrow to clear out the majority of it. I’ll just keep making little trips as long as that’s okay with you, Eve.”

I nodded. “Of course. It doesn’t matter where you live, you know this will always be home.”

After we ate, Andrew cornered me. I’d allowed myself to indulge in a couple of glasses of the expensive champagne Jennie opened and I was feeling more than a little buzzed. Life seemed to be getting away from me these days.

“I’m sorry, she’s such a ball of fire... I can’t seem to rein her in sometimes.”

“Don’t worry, none of us can. It’s just Jennie. And that’s why we love her,” I said with a shrug.

He clinked his flute to mine. “Here, here.” A comfortable silence fell between us before he continued. “I’m gonna take good care of her, I promise.”

And I believed him. For some reason I couldn’t explain, I’d been comfortable with Andrew since the beginning. “Wedding bells coming?”

“Very soon. If she’ll have me.”

“I’m pretty sure you two are meant for each other, Andrew. I’ve never seen those sparks before, it’s been fun to watch you two.”

He studied me for a long moment and I thought it was because he was trying to decide whether or not to tell me what was really on his mind.

“I spook easily, Andrew, but I don’t scare often.”

He cocked his head and held up his glass. “Interesting point. I might have to remember that one.”

“Spill it. What’s on your mind?”

“Have you looked in the mirror lately?”

I studied him long and hard for a moment. “What do you mean?”

The way he smiled at me made me wonder how much of my own life I wasn’t seeing. “You and Jake are meant for each other. I can only hope to make Jennie light up around me the way you light up around Jake. It has been very educational for me to watch the two of you. I very much want what you two have. I think Jennie and I have it, but I am constantly learning how to take better advantage of it by watching you two.”

My jaw fell open with surprise. “What?” My eloquence was epic.

“I don’t know if it’s the time you two have on us? I’m not sure. But you two have no inhibitions. You are you and Jake is Jake. And anyone who has ever spent any time around the two of you knows that there is no getting between you two.”

I watched Jake as he laughed with Jennie. As if he could feel my eyes on him, he turned and smiled at me. Maybe we did feel the vibration of each other through the air.

“And,” Andrew said, shifting to move back toward Jennie, “you two should move in together. Officially.”

“You know, you’re awfully opinionated for a newbie.”

His eyebrows danced, “Just callin’ it like I see it, Daniels.”

* * *

Many hours later the guys were smoking cigars on the back porch. It was raining, but a light drizzling rain, the kind that lasts for a few hours while the sky lights up over and over with lightning dancing quietly from cloud to cloud far, far above.

Jennie and I were huddled up with wine in the corner of the porch chatting and listening to the drip of the rain. “Seriously, Eve. What is up with you and Jake? I expected you two to elope by now, but instead the two of you practically flinched when I suggested you officially move in together.”

I hid behind my glass of wine. Why was something as simple as sleeping arrangements so complicated? Why did it hold so much meaning? I decided to deflect. “Why are you moving in with Andrew? I thought it was a rule of yours, no living together without a ring?”

I realized I’d stumbled into something big at that point. Jennie’s eyes unfocused and her mouth turned down in a frown. Frowns always looked so terribly out of place on her normally happy face and I was worried about what was putting it there now.

She licked her lips and her eyes shot up to mine, making contact. “The ring is coming, I know it is. So, I’m not worried about what order things happen in... but a ring isn’t going to happen today.” She took a deep breath letting it out slowly, “Today was just too emotional and the whole moving in together thing was a whim. It wasn’t planned, it just happened. It naturally grew out of everything that happened today.”

“What happened?” I asked. I was completely lost and starting to get worried.

“Today was Andrew’s mother’s birthday.”

That didn’t seem like a bad thing. “That’s wonderful. Isn’t it?”

Jennie’s frown deepened. “She died seven years ago. Today they had a big celebration in her memory.” She reached out and grabbed my hand. “Even now it is so clear how much his parents loved each other. It breaks my heart for Andrew. He said they were the disgusting parents who only seemed to want each other more over time. His dad is still heartbroken she’s gone. He’s here and he’s a part of his kid’s lives, but it is so obvious a part of his soul is just... gone. And I think Andrew is afraid he’s going to lose his dad to a broken heart at some point.”

I couldn’t help but look down the porch to where the guys were sitting. It explained so much about Andrew and I felt like I understood him so much more. “I’m glad you two found each other, Jennie. I really am. And I think you two are going to be just as disgustingly happy as his parents were. It will be a beautiful way to keep her memory alive.”

She squeezed my hand, her blue eyes were so sad I wanted to hug her but I knew it wasn’t what she wanted or needed. She just wanted to be able to make Andrew’s pain go away.

“Thank you. I think so, too.” But then she locked eyes with me again and brought me back to the question she’d asked in the beginning. “So what is up with you and Jake?”

I sighed. My heart hurt thinking about all of this. In fact, it was pretty infuriating to think how much time we’d lost already and knowing we couldn’t move our relationship any faster than we were. I thought about what Jennie had just said, that she wasn’t worried about the order things were happening in. “We’re still working through some stuff.”

Her eyebrows shot up as she waited for me to elaborate. “I don’t need to know details, Eve. In fact, I’m pretty sure I don’t want details... you two are kind of gross. Talk to me about what’s going on underneath.”

Damn shrink, wanting to make me talk emotions. Emotions and feelings I still couldn’t quite grasp myself, let alone talk about with the only one it mattered to: Jake. But some of it I understood and I could at least talk to her about that. “I think I glamorized our old relationship. I forgot how screwed up Jake was, how sad we really were most of the time. It was easier to remember how much I loved him, how much he loved me, how perfect we felt together... and just forget everything else.” I checked to make sure she was following and Jennie smiled with encouragement. “But it was hard. And things weren’t all shiny and perfect. I’ve been mad at him for a long, long time and not just about leaving. I’ve been mad at it all.”

“You should be. None of it was fair, to you or him.”

“The thing is, he left and worked on his issues, but now that he’s back we have to work on our issues. We’ve had a lot to overcome, not just my anger, but trust issues and dealing with our mistakes.” I took a moment to drink some wine and let everything I was thinking and feeling settle around me.

Why was the idea of Jake officially moving in causing me to feel so defensive? “Falling in love is intense, you know? It feels so good and you want to hold on to that, keep it for as long as you can. You’ll do anything to keep it.” I laughed, not because it was funny, but because of how important the things I was trying to say were. “You don’t even realize what you’re doing. I didn’t realize what I was doing. Jake said it himself, he left me because if he’d stayed I would have done anything, anything, to save him.”

I looked at Jennie hoping for comfort in her deep blue eyes because my thoughts were scaring the crap out of me. That was why I’d been avoiding things with Jake, keeping up that wall and hiding behind it. It scared me how close I came to destroying myself for him. How easily I could do it again. “There is nothing healthy about a relationship where one of you is broken or using each other for happiness or validation. You each have to be complete. Only two whole people can truly have a happy relationship.”

It was one of those crazy things. The math would never, ever add up, and yet it was true. To truly be one, Jake and I each needed to be separate and whole.

“That’s good, Eve. That’s healthy. You know, it’s one of those things people ignore. They focus on the process not the people. The people and their relationship are what really matter. A list can’t teach you how to have a healthy relationship. Only the two people doing the work can do that. The people are what matter, their relationship and how they treat each other. You have to focus on you and Jake and do whatever you two need to have a healthy life together.”

She leaned in and took both my hands in hers. She looked down at them for a long minute before taking a deep breath and looking up into my eyes. I felt like I was on the edge of my seat waiting for some invisible bomb to drop out of the sky. “There is no rush. He’s not leaving again. Take your time and don’t lose you because of some preconceived notions about how relationships should work. You aren’t a love-struck college girl anymore so I don’t think you are in danger of that. You are Eve Fucking Daniels and you are a badass.”

I hugged her. I wrapped her right up and hugged her for a long, long time. I had no idea how desperately I needed to hear someone say that. “Thank you,” I whispered.

She squeezed me back. “We can’t let ourselves get swept up in the love fog anymore. You and me, we need a night every week without the guys.”

I sat back and composed myself, smoothing down my clothes and sipping the wine—anything to keep me from looking up. I knew Jake was watching me, I could feel his gaze as sure as if he were touching me. “I think that’s a great idea.”

To Jake’s credit, he left Jennie and I alone for a full minute before he was at my side. “Everything okay over here?” His voice was rough and yet it somehow soothed me as his hand brushed up my arm. He squatted down next to me so that I was actually looking down at him. It was a strange change of position for us.

“Yes,” I replied. “Everything is fine, just catching up with my best friend.”

Jennie smiled and stood with her drink. “I’m going to go check on my roommate.” She squealed, “That is so cool to say!”

“Get your ass over here woman!” Andrew yelled.

Somehow Jennie’s grin grew before she scurried off to Andrew’s lap.

Jake placed his hand on my knee and ran his thumb back and forth. His eyes were dark and sad. He was worried about me. “You don’t look okay.”

I loved the sound of his voice. It was so deep and gravelly, it sounded like a man should. And something about that was unmistakably sexy. “I will be.”

He studied me a for a moment longer while he looked for the answers I wasn’t giving him. “Let’s go to bed.”

In Jake’s arms was just about the best place in the world to me. But a small part was still hurting, still wondering how to get over this last wall. I stood and let Jennie know we were done. She smiled and promised to lock up before they left.

“Come to bed with me darlin’,” Jake purred, pulling my hand as he headed toward the kitchen. I memorized his face in the dark that night with the rain gently patting on everything around us. I wanted to always remember how handsome and sure he was as he asked me to join him.

16

Sunday morning was overcast. The entire sky was gray, the bay was choppy, and the air had a weird cool charge to it. It was still early and I was draped over the armchair by my window, reading my favorite book. It was one I’d read a hundred times since high school and for some reason I couldn’t quite explain, kept coming back to. It was like an old blanket, familiar and comfortable.

“Is that the same book you used to read?” Jake asked quietly. I realized he’d been watching me. Propped up with pillows on the bed, his pajama pants on with no shirt, his six-pack on full display, his bare feet surprisingly sexy against my blue sheets, but his hands were clasped in his lap and I could tell by the probing look in his eyes I wouldn’t be able to distract him with sex.

I should probably talk to him.

“Yes,” I replied, looking at the yellowing pages. They had that old book smell that I loved but hated.

He studied me and I studied him, a silent warning passing between us. Jake wanted to bring down the wall I’d erected, one I didn’t even know why I put up.

“What’s it about?” he asked.

I pulled my ancient bookmark out from where I’d tucked it in the back and slid it into the page I was reading, closing the paperback. It was beginning to fall apart and I’d read it more times than I could count or remember. I’d taken it on trips, kept it in my desk and my car... it’d had a rough life. The cover was separating from the spine and many of the pages were permanently deformed.

I bit my lower lip as I studied the cover. “It’s about a woman finding herself. In an unexpected place and an unexpected time in an unexpected way.”

Well, that explained a whole lot.

I don’t think there was a more obvious sign for how I was feeling.

I felt out of control. Since Jake came back into my life I’d been flying by the seat of my pants and I wasn’t quite sure who I was anymore. I’d gotten swept away by the intensity and urgency of everything and somehow gotten lost along the way.

Suddenly he was beside me, squatting beside the chair so that he was just below my eye level. “Talk to me,” he pleaded. “I feel like you’re slipping away from me. Please come back.”

The earnest hope in his green eyes tugged at my heart in a way only Jake could. Where I held back from everyone else, I felt compelled to talk to Jake. He did something to me that took away my fears and opened my mouth.

One of the reasons we hit it off so quickly was his ability to see my thoughts even when they were stuck inside my head. Jake had a unique ability to get through the block between my brain and my mouth and know the turmoil underneath just by looking at me. He could read my emotions like no one else.

“I’m struggling.” I finally confessed. I don’t know why it had been so hard for me to realize this, let alone talk to Jake about it, but it was.

He moved his hand to cover mine, gently stroking the skin on the top of my hand. It instantly relaxed me and I sighed, “I’m stuck.”

The sight of his fingers stroking my skin reminded me of a night fourteen years ago—the night Jake met my family. We hadn’t even been dating a week. He was still this strange, mysterious new enigma in my life. But he came with me to a family dinner. We were talking to my mother. I’d made a stupid throw in from the outfield playing intramural softball and wrenched my elbow. It hurt. Jake was talking and without missing a beat, pulled my hand into his and started massaging the damaged muscles. He and my mother never broke their conversation and Jake didn’t stop until he was satisfied my arm had been sufficiently massaged and my mobility restored. He squeezed my arm and smiled warmly.

After he left, my mother appeared at my side and announced Jake and I were meant for each other. I had been shocked into speechlessness. I hardly knew Jake and she knew him even less. But she smiled knowingly at me and told me there was only one man her strong, opinionated, independent daughter would ever love and that was the man who I would instinctively let take care of me.

I told her she was crazy, that I didn’t let Jake take of me. Then she’d pointed to my arm and asked me what I called the arm massage. The thing was, I hadn’t even realized he’d done it until she pointed it out. That was how naturally I’d let Jake take care of me—I hadn’t even been aware of doing it.

And here he was, so many years later, sitting at my side with his hand on the same arm relaxing me enough to talk. I think it might be why he could get me to express myself when others couldn’t. He had the unique ability to make me feel safe enough to open up my heart.

“I’m stuck, we’re stuck... I’m scared, I’m mad... I’m a mess,” I sighed.

Jake smiled warmly and kissed my hand. “Let’s start with scared. What are you scared of, darlin’?”

“You, your dad, losing what we have.”

Jake stiffened, his hand clenching around mine. “Why are you scared of my father?”

I realized how what I’d said sounded to Jake, “Oh, babe. I’m not scared of him. I’m scared of how he could affect us. I’m worried he still might show up one day and you’ll run off again.”

Jake probably did the one thing that would reassure me right then—he rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry about it. Trust me, please.”

All right, I could give him that... for now.

But the time was coming where he and I were going to have to have a serious discussion about his father. I couldn’t simply keep taking his word for it. I needed a hell of a lot more information to really feel comfortable on that front.

“Why are you mad?”

This was why I kept dodging Jake. This was why I liked hiding behind sex. Sex made me feel close to Jake and like we could ignore our problems for a little longer. I didn’t like feeling mad. “A few reasons, actually.”

“Start with one.” He was getting impatient and I didn’t blame him. I was acting like a child.

“Ashley.” I spit out her name, I didn’t think I’d ever be able to say that name any other way, ever again.

Jake raised his eyebrows. “Really?”

I sighed with exasperation, “Are you going to be angry about Sebastian for the rest of time?”

Jake nodded, “Good point. I completely understand what you are saying. Now, reason two?”

“We lost so much time. It fucking pisses me off every time I think about it.”

“It should. You have every right to be mad. Number three?”

I sighed. “I’m mad at you. I still just get so fucking angry that you left me. You didn’t give me a choice, you just... left.”

There was nothing but silence after that. No witty comebacks, no soothing words. Just silence. Jake was looking through me the way he always did when he was thinking. I started to wonder if he was going to say anything at all when he startled me. “You should be angry. It’s okay if you’re angry about that forever.” He looked up at me and shrugged. “I can’t change what I did. I wish I could, but I can’t. And I think you need to get angry. Really, really fucking angry. You need to let some of it out, Eve. Keeping it in isn’t going to do you or me any good.”

I shook my head. Letting anger like that out wasn’t easy for me. It never had been. I preferred to keep it in and let it slowly dissipate over time. But this anger wasn’t dissipating. It was growing. I was afraid if I didn’t let some of it out, I might explode.

“I’ll try.”

Jake scooped me up out of my chair, spinning around so that he was in the seat and I was in his lap, cradled in his strong arms. He ran his nose along mine and pressed his forehead against me, looking up into my eyes, “Let’s get away. Right now. Let’s just pack up and go somewhere for the rest of the day and call out sick tomorrow.” His eyes zeroed in on mine and his voice dropped to a soft, husky whisper. “I think we need this, Eve. We need to reset.”

A reset. I liked the sound of that. In fact I liked it so much I wanted to run out of my house in the direction of freedom. When had my life started to feel like a cage? “Take me away, Mr. Spencer.”

* * *

We didn’t waste a second. It took us all of five minutes to throw on our bathing suits and head downstairs to the hotel pool. We’d booked a last minute room at the J.W. Marriott hotel in Orlando. It was a short hour-long drive from my house. It was the kind of hotel you didn’t need to leave if you didn’t want to. There were restaurants, a gift shop, and most importantly a pool with a winding lazy river that wandered from pool to pool, around and back again. All we needed was to buy a tube and float.

The only stop we made between our room and the pool deck was at the bar to get drinks.

I was stuck in this weird limbo between getting out of my head but needing to be in my head to figure myself out. I was shifting back and forth between being totally and completely present in conversation with Jake and then suddenly staring off into space as my thoughts wandered off.

But I was relaxing, the cocktail and the sound of the water both helping. Jake looking all hot and sexy wasn’t hurting, either.

“What?” he asked in his rough and sexy voice.

“I think you should walk around for me, let me ogle some eye candy.”

He raised an eyebrow up over his shiny sunglasses. “You want to ogle me?”

I nodded vehemently. Oh, yes. I wanted to ogle. “It will help relax me if I’m distracted by your six pack and pecs.”

Jake took a long sip of whiskey and tonic and cocked his head to the side, examining me. I wasn’t sure if he thought I was crazy or having fun with him. Not that it really mattered—I was enjoying myself thoroughly.

But then he carefully set down his glass and leapt up, straddling my chair. “How about I just come over here and make out with you?”

Now that wasn’t a terrible idea either.

“How about we make out in the lazy river instead? That way we can rotate around the people we’re grossing out.”

“Deal,” he said holding out his hand for me.

I was grateful the sun had burned through the heavy morning drizzle. It was a hot and humid day, which made it nice to be in the cool water of the floating stream.

Jake snagged a tube and held it still while I hopped on. “I love this suit, by the way,” he growled. Even though I couldn’t see his eyes behind his mirrored lenses, I knew he was taking all of me in. I’d picked a very unpractical but very pretty bikini. It was strapless and very, very tiny. The upside to being out of town in the tourist district of Orlando meant we didn’t know anyone here. We were just another couple in a mix of tourists from all over the world.

There was every level of dress at the hotel from women completely covered head to toe, to women wearing less than me in tiny Brazilian thongs. There was absolutely no reason for me not to wear whatever the hell I wanted to.

And I’d chosen the latest fashion. My bottoms were very tiny, the kind that tucked between my cheeks and displayed most of my ass. By the bob of Jake’s eyebrows and the ridiculous grin he’d been wearing since I stepped out of the bathroom, I was pretty sure he approved.

There was certainly nothing to complain about his attire, either. Dark green board shorts were all he was wearing—his tanned body on full display for my enjoyment. As he leaned over the side of the tube the muscles of his shoulders and arms were flexed. I couldn’t take my eyes off them.

He traced an invisible design along my skin, resting his chin on the side of the tube. “It’s interesting how much you look the same, but different.”

“I could say the same thing about you. Didn’t they have anything to do but workout in Iraq?”

“Are you complaining? Do I need to drop some weight?” Jake chuckled. “Because you seem to enjoy the advantages...”

Oh, yes. The idea we could have sex just about anywhere at anytime in any position? It did things to me. We’d tested those limits again and again. Walls, counters, chairs... the list went on. Jake’s new strength was a definite advantage. “Fuck off you cocky bastard. You know I like them.”

Oh, that smile of his, it was so nice. I loved how much he smiled now. Yes, he was cocky as hell, but it suited him. And it was so much better than sad and doubtful.

“You’ve put on a lot of muscle, too,” he said quietly. His fingers were still moving along my skin, sending sensations everywhere as he moved. “You were always so skinny, it’s nice to see strength along with it.”

“It helps me keep up with you,” I murmured.

The next thing I knew Jake was dragging me to the wall. “What are you doing?”

He picked me right up out of the tube and that was when I realized Jake was aroused. The bulge in his trunks was obvious. “No!” I shouted. “Put me down, we are not doing this!”

Jake set me down immediately and there was no missing the complete shock on his face. “Baby, what’s going on?”

“Sit.” I demanded, pointing at the wall. Jake sat immediately, but he pulled me with him, positioning me on his lap to hide his erection.

“Talk,” he demanded.

“Have you noticed we have sex in public just as often as we have it in private?”

Jake was silent for a long moment and I began to panic a little bit. What if I was blowing this out of proportion? What if I was starting another fight on top of all the others?

“No, I hadn’t realized.” His voice was very low and questioning. “But you’re right. I thought we were just having a lot of fun, but you’re right.”

I smoothed my hand over the stubble on his cheek, “We are having fun. But it isn’t healthy. It’s one thing when we can’t keep our hands off each other, but I think there is something more going on here.”

I don’t know if it was being in Jake’s lap or having a space to think, but my brain finally seemed to be working. We were two passionate people who couldn’t get enough of each other. “I think we’re both looking for magic.”

Jake pushed his sunglasses up on his head and did the same to mine so we could see each other’s eyes. “Magic?”

“Magic,” I repeated. It was overwhelming how much I loved him. So much so that I wanted desperately to be connected to him. “You and I are magic together, Jake. It doesn’t matter where we are or what we’re doing... it’s magic. And I think right now we’re desperate to have that connection. I’ve been distant and I’ve let a lot of things get between us. It makes it hard to connect the way we need to. You and I are the same in that. When we aren’t connected both physically and mentally, everything feels off.”

Jake pulled me to him, kissing me deeply. His tongue snaked between my lips and his hands knotted in my hair. “And when we drop everything to have sex right where we are it’s more intense than anything else we do.”

I nodded, “Exactly. It’s you and me and that overload of passion. We drop everything, we ignore everyone, and we—”

Jake’s erection pulsed underneath me. I had to admit I was pretty wet and throbbing, too. Talking about how badly we needed each other was almost as hot as actually being together.

“We connect,” he finished for me, pulling my body against his cock. “Does that mean you don’t want me right now?”

He was kidding. He knew full well I wanted him right now. I was flushed and panting. That was what his need for me did. It made me want him every single time. “Oh, we’re totally doing it as soon as we’re done talking.”

“Oh, babe...” he groaned, “I love how kinky you are. Seriously, I’m the luckiest fuck on the planet.”

His eyes caressed me with the love he felt for me. We weren’t just sex and passion—there was an intense love and appreciation, too.

“I don’t want to stop having fun with you. I love,” I looked right into his eyes and mouthed the word love again, “that we are the couple that drops everything because we can’t keep our hands off each other. But we’ve got to rein it in. Fits of passion are one thing, looking for an answer to our problems is another.”

“I agree,” he said with a firm nod. “We will talk about our problems and fuck for fun instead. Sound good?”

I rolled my eyes. “You get what I mean?”

Jake sighed and looked into my eyes, speaking very seriously, “Yes, darlin’. That’s exactly why we’re here. To talk. We will figure out what is really going on and get back to using sex for pleasure, not therapy.”

“All right then, we seem to be on the same page.”

“Good, can I fuck you now?”

By the throb of my body I was pretty sure if we didn’t have sex right then I was going to spontaneously combust. “You have a plan?”

He shot back up with me in his arms, “Oh, baby. You know I do.”

A minute later I was in the middle of our tube, resting with my arms wrapped around the top, my body dangling in the water below, and Jake was behind me. My bottoms were pushed to the side and Jake’s cock was sliding deliciously slowly in and out of me as we floated down the river.

In and out. Slow and steady.

The lazy river was fairly empty, the gloomy morning had tempted a lot of the tourists to the theme parks, so we only had to watch ourselves when we drifted past the lifeguards and pools. Everyone else seemed to be content to be left alone, just like us.

His forehead rested on my shoulder and his arms encircled mine. His long, hard body pressed to my back and I could feel his six-pack with every curl of his body into mine.

In and out. Slow, so slow.

It was delicious, relaxing torture. We slowly climbed higher and higher, chasing our orgasms. It was the most relaxing thirty minutes of my life. There was something so incredibly therapeutic about being slowly teased and tortured.

And he was enjoying himself, too. Jake was sighing and groaning, caressing me lovingly and whispering sweet, romantic things in my ear.

My climax came out of nowhere and Jake followed me. It was the only time we were jerky or noisy, but we couldn’t help it. He buried his face in my back, grunting into my skin as he thrust deep inside and locked himself in place while my body pulsed around him. I only wished I could have held him while I came. I wanted him in my arms. I wanted that extra piece of connection to the man I loved.

But he had me. His arms circled mine, holding me tight to his body as he came. “Fuck, Eve,” he grunted. “You feel perfect every single time. I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of this. Not ever.”

17

“Do you have any Graycliff cigars?” Jake asked the manager of the hotel gift shop.

The man’s face lit up. “Yes sir. We have the purple label. Their Chateau blend.”

Jake took the cigar the man handed him and smelled it, closing his eyes and looking quite pleased. “Perfect, I’ll take two.”

“Yes, sir. Will you need any of them cut?”

“Both, please.”

We strolled out toward the pools where Jake could sit and enjoy his purchase. He carefully lit it up, the smoke a billowing white cloud as it came out of his delicious lips. The smell was so familiar.

“Do you remember the Graycliff?”

How could I forget my favorite vacation of all time? “Fondly.”

Jake’s lips curved up, but his eyes were sad. “We should go back.”

The very idea of spending a holiday with Jake in the Bahamas, of going back to eat on the porch at the Graycliff, of snorkeling, and relaxing on the beach... “Yes. As soon as the season is over.”

Suddenly I didn’t want the Rays to make the playoffs, or to at least perform very, very badly and make it a quick series. I had a hot vacation waiting for me.

Jake was looking at me with as much longing as I felt. There was a certain magic the last time we were in the Bahamas, something incredibly special about the night we ate at the Graycliff. And neither of us had forgotten it. There are some nights that are just magic. Where everything is perfect and you can feel the love in the air. And that was our night at the Graycliff.

“Get me the dates and I will make the arrangements.” Then he looked right into my eyes in that special way he had—when I felt like he wasn’t just looking at me, but into my soul. “I will take you to the Graycliff for dinner every night if you want.”

The air around us was charged with the electricity we were putting off. If Jake didn’t stop looking at me like that I was going to jump him there on the pool deck. He looked like he wanted inside my body and to stay there forever. Desire ripped through me, pooling between my legs with a throb that was begging for attention. His attention.

“Stop,” I breathed.

His eyes widened with fear, “Stop what?” Then Jake saw me. And I mean he really saw me. He knew what was happening. He moved very methodically, putting out his cigar, collecting himself and holding out his hand. “Let’s go upstairs, darlin’.”

The anger was seething beneath my surface. It was hot and alive. My blood was pumping and my head spun. The very mention of vacations and happy escapes sent me over the edge. Something inside me snapped. And I think it had something to do with wanting to be free.

We couldn’t go on vacation with so many things still holding us back.

He held my hand, guiding us to the elevators. He sighed as he punched the button for our floor. He stood quietly beside me with his head held high as he prepared for whatever was to come.

It was going to be ugly. I’d held back too much for too long.

As soon as our door swung shut, I attacked.

“You left me,” I hissed. “You fucking left me here all alone.”

We were standing in the middle of the hotel room: Jake on one side and me on the other, the bed between us. He turned to face me, shoving his hands into his pockets and a hollow look in his eyes. He’d put up his defenses, not because he didn’t want to take everything I was about to dish out, but to survive it. He was listening but he was being careful about it.

“Keep it coming, babe.” Jake didn’t interrupt—he didn’t even flinch. It was like he was grateful for the beating.

I unleashed it at that point. It all started pouring out of me. Ten years of anger and hurt. Everything I’d ever thought about saying, whether it made sense or not. “You broke my goddamned heart and didn’t come back to make sure I was okay. You were so damned hell bent on saving yourself you left me behind.”

That one got to him. His eyes flared and his teeth clenched. And for some reason, I liked that. I wanted to pick a fight with him. I wanted him to get angry.

“Come on Jake,” I said through my teeth, “Say something.”

The muscle in his neck bulged as he tensed. “This is for you, not me.”

“You were so fucking selfish.”

“Damn you, Eve. Don’t go there.”

But I couldn’t stop. I had him on the edge, if I just pushed a little more he’d snap and give me the anger I wanted to hear. “Do you know how abandoned I felt? How alone?” The way he disappeared, it was like I’d been dumped on the side of the road. A footnote on Jake’s flee to freedom. “It didn’t feel like I mattered.”

“You had a family, Eve!” He yelled it. “You had a fucking family that loved the hell out of you. You weren’t alone for a second. You never were and you never will be.” His eyes were wild. The only time I’d ever seen him like that was the night of our graduation when he sent me away.

I had a family. There was nothing to say to that. We stood across from each other, angry and hurt. But he was right. I did have a family. They took care of me and loved me. They helped me get back on my feet and get to work. They encouraged me to date and have a life. He was right—I was never alone.

But they weren’t him.

“You are my family, Jake.” I choked as the tears started flowing. “I am your family. You had me.”

I was suddenly in his arms. They were wrapped around me in a death grip, his head was bent into the crook of my neck and he was breathing hard.

Yes I had a wonderful family, but Jake was my world. He was my family every bit as much as the ones I was related to. He was my blood and my heart from the moment I fell in love with him. “Jake,” I murmured, running my hands through his hair, but he shook me off. He held me tight against his body while he worked through his emotions. So I spoke instead. “I’m sorry. Baby, I love you. You have me forever. We’re our own family, you and me.”

Things got intense from there. Jake was completely silent, I don’t think he could speak. His emotions were in charge and so were mine. We were hands and tongues, ripping our clothes from our bodies, desperate to get to the skin underneath. I needed him and he needed me. I could feel his desperation and I knew the one thing that could fix it was my body.

He pushed me back on the bed and ripped his pants down, hauling himself on top of me and thrusting home in a single movement. It felt like he’d torn me in two, the sudden invasion so fast and large. I yelled out and sank my nails deep into the skin of his back. I needed somewhere to let out the pain and pleasure, and I also wanted him to know I didn’t want it any other way. I didn’t want him to stop or think. I wanted him, all of him, hard and fast and deep. So I held him tight against me, using every ounce of strength I had.

“Shit!” He yelled out as he buried himself inside me. But it wasn’t a pleasurable cry—it was a cry of pain and anguish. He kissed me deep and hard, his tongue reaching as far inside me as his cock. He was coming at me with everything he had from above and below.

His hands wove into my hair and tugged. Not a gentle, playful tug like he did sometimes, but a harsh yank. It sent a jolt straight to my sex, one we both felt, and brought tears to my eyes. But I didn’t mind it. In fact, I kind of liked it. I wanted to feel everything—the more sensations the better. Pleasure, pain... it didn’t matter. It was all one and the same for me at that moment.

My soul was as on fire as my body. So much hurt and anger at Jake and our past. About the things I never had any control over and the things we’d never be able to fix. It was all coming out in the way we were slamming into each other.

I was thrusting my hips up to meet his with every pump, my hands and nails were constantly looking for somewhere new to land. His back and his ass each getting an equal amount of attention.

He snaked his left hand under my ass and grabbed on to my hip, seizing control and taking me as hard and fast as he needed.

I was going to be bruised. He was scratched... we were going to be a mess. But hopefully a whole lot freer.

He started grunting and his thrusts started to stutter until finally he slammed into me one last time and I felt his release. The pulse and throb brought me right up to the edge of my own orgasm, and as he collapsed on top of me I writhed against him searching for my own release.

A moment later Jake realized what I was doing and started kissing my neck, thrusting with short quick movements against me. “Come on baby. Come on, I can feel you, you’re right there.” His hand was still wrapped around my hip and with one quick caress he gripped me and held me tight against him.

It sent me right over the edge, my body contracting and pulsing, wrapping myself around his large sweaty body as I cried out. He wrapped his arms around me and held me, one hand around my hip, one around my shoulders, and I buried my cries in his neck, the taste of salty sweat dancing across my lips and tongue.

When I finally relaxed, Jake shuddered and started to gasp, “Oh god, Eve. I’m so fucking sorry.” He buried me under a blanket of wet kisses. He kissed my neck and jaw, my cheeks and lips, before finally resting his forehead against mine. “Did I hurt you?”

I shook my head. Hurting me was the last thing he’d done. “No, it was perfect.”

* * *

When I woke up the next morning, Jake’s hand was resting on the middle of my back and his foot was tangled between mine. The way his hand delicately rested against my skin... it was like he couldn’t bear the thought of not being connected to me, even in his sleep.

I didn’t dare move—I didn’t want to lose that feeling—I even tried to keep my breathing even.

I must have fallen back to sleep because the next thing I knew light was streaming into our room, a cart was beside the bed with two covered trays and a carafe of coffee. A little white mug was filled and steaming. But there was no one beside me and the bed felt enormous and empty. I glanced around the room and found Jake standing naked at the window. He was looking outside and sipping from his mug. His back was a mess—lines and marks from my nails everywhere.

I was sore. As soon as I moved I felt the ache of my muscles.

“Come back to me,” I murmured.

He turned at the sound of my voice, a sly smile curving his lips. “Morning, darlin’.” Then he sauntered back to the bed, all sexy and male, his eyes locked onto mine. “I called down and extended our reservation. There’s no rush, we have all day.”

All day... with Jake looking that sexy there were a lot of things we could do with that kind of time in this bed.

He eased down onto the mattress beside me. “There was no way I was letting you, all naked and beautiful, out of this bed before you were ready.”

I set down my coffee and reached out for his cheek. He’d gone so long between shaves his stubble was turning into a beard and the rough hair felt good against my skin. I pulled myself up, letting the sheet fall away, and kissed him. His hands ran up my bare back.

“You up for a little morning exercise?” I asked knowing full well what the answer would be.

He smiled against my lips, hauling me up and onto his naked lap, bare skin against bare skin. “Always.”

I moved against him, my hands bracing against his broad shoulders. I felt his immediate response between my legs as his cock began to harden. “Oh, babe,” he groaned. His hands kept brushing through my hair as his lips traveled down my neck. He found all of my most sensitive places—every lick taking my breath away and making my belly quiver.

But then he stopped, wrapping his hands around my face and holding me back to look into my eyes. His were deep and dark and they made my heart stop. He looked sad or worried. Some emotion I couldn’t quite place. “What?” I asked. Whatever Jake was feeling, I didn’t like it.

“I just want you.” His voice cracked and his hands tightened around my face.

“You have me,” I replied, but there was a completely different, deeper meaning below his words.

“Last night you said you were my family.”

I wasn’t sure where he was going with this and it scared me a little. “I am.”

“Eve, I want you to know that every single day I feel the responsibility of loving you. I know what a gift it is.”

He didn’t let me talk after that. We had another intense round of fucking. There were certain things we were working through that just didn’t seem to have words.

18

I knew we couldn’t really move forward until we officially let go of the past.

One very important thing finally happened. Jake went out of town on a work trip, all big and important as he was these days, and I was nice and alone with my thoughts. I finally cracked open that black journal, suffered through the panic and dread, and started reading.

I had only known the parts of Jake’s past he was capable of sharing in extreme moments of desperation. Otherwise he kept his past hidden and I got the impression it wasn’t just from me.

I knew he was emotionally and physically abused, and I had a feeling the physical abuse was a footnote to the emotional damage Jake Sr. caused in Jake’s life.

He spoke of being beaten up, the broken bones, and scars as if they were nothing. I remember going over his body with a fine-toothed comb one night, inspecting and kissing each scar. To my surprise, Jake simply smiled and explained each one.

“This?” I asked kissing his elbow.

He shrugged, “Pushed off the back porch, landed on a rock and broke my elbow.”

I was horrified.

Jake laughed.

“I got a blue cast and I was the only kid in my school with a broken arm. I had fun with it.”

I moved down his arm to his hand. There was a hooked scar along the back of his hand. “This?”

“A lesson in why I wasn’t allowed to touch anything without permission.”

I raised my eyebrows, “With?”

“A knife.”

I shuddered at the image of his father intentionally cutting his son’s hand to teach him a lesson. I moved to his firm abs. They weren’t a rippling six-pack like there were now—back then he was skinny but muscular. There was a weird collection of scars near his hip. “These?”

This time he took a moment before answering. “It’s my dad’s spot. He always gets me there. It’s his go-to...”

Oh.

The rest of his body was more of the same. Stitches, broken bones, falls all at the hands of his loving father.

What Jake never talked about was how controlling his father was. I knew he used words as effectively as any punch or knife. I had heard his skill in the few minutes I’d spent with him over the years. Carefully placed sentences designed to kill. Constant reminders that Jake was merely his plaything.

But as I started reading, I finally got a look inside Jake’s head, inside the conflict and torture he lived through. I realized how very little I actually understood about the power of brainwashing.

One entry in particular seemed to explain it all. It was actually a night that had been a turning point for us. One I had gone back to over again and again in the years since he left. So this particular entry hit me hard.

Today is my one year anniversary of therapy. It’s been an interesting year. A good year, I think.

A long way still to go.

Today we talked about what changed me. Dr. Marks wanted to know why I rejected my father and his way of life and started on a new path. What was it that made me realize I wanted a different life? I’m supposed to write about all that stuff until I see him in six months. I’m pretty sure this is gonna suck, but I’m going at with everything I’ve got. What do I have to lose? Anyway, here I go:

My dad controlled everything. I couldn’t do anything without his permission. Hell, sometimes I couldn’t piss without asking first. The first time I was ever really away from him was college and I’d barely managed to pull that off.

Dad let me know who I was—and I was nothing outside of him. He made sure I was constantly aware of how unwanted I was. That I was worthless and, by nature, bad. I wasn’t fit to be around normal people, I’d corrupt them. I wasn’t good enough. He made sure I knew no one would ever love me but him, and he didn’t really love me. He took care of me because he had to.

Then I met Eve.

And it made no sense whatsoever, but she fucking loved me. At least I thought she did. It felt like love. It was certainly different than anything else I’d ever felt in my life. But then I went home for a weekend and my dad set me straight.

He showed me the truth—that Eve was a rich bitch and I was her new toy. I was just too stupid to be able to understand stuff like that. It was his job to take care of me and protect me from the world. He made sure to remind me I would just ruin the people around me and that the only safe place was home with him.

So I went back to school that Sunday night with every intention of dumping Eve.

But that wasn’t what happened. When I got to her dorm room I slipped inside and saw her curled up on that stupid uncomfortable dorm couch with a blanket, reading a book. The minute she saw me she smiled. I mean she really smiled, like seeing me was the greatest fucking thing ever.

How could someone who didn’t care about me smile like that? If I was just her toy she wouldn’t be so happy to see me… right?

But I reminded myself how stupid I was and that I didn’t understand women. So I kept on with my plan. I told her we were done and that I didn’t want to see her anymore.

You know what she said to that?

No.

It was all she said and then she sat there and glared at me with her arms crossed.

“What do you mean… no?” I asked.

“No.” she replied again, her voice going up a full octave. “You cannot break up with me. I don’t allow it. No.”

Could she do that? Could she refuse to break up with me? And more importantly, why?

“I think it’s for the best, sweetheart. We aren’t good for each other.”

She sucked in a sharp breath and I really thought she was going to light me on fire with her eyes. “SWEETHEART? Did you just call me sweetheart?”

She kinda scared the piss out of me so I just nodded dumbly.

“No,” She repeated. “I don’t know who’s brainwashed you into believing we aren’t good for each other, but it’s a load of bullshit.”

Brainwashed. It was the first time I’d ever really let that idea sit inside me and move around. I’d wondered, doubted, had friends over the years mention it… but it was the first time I’d really stopped and thought about it. Eve planted a seed that night that hasn’t ever stopped growing.

“No, we’re bad for each other.”

“How? Name one way I’m bad for you... No? Can’t name anything can you? I help you study, I walk with you to class when you don’t want to go, I make you happy… how can you fucking say I’m bad for you?”

“I don’t know.” I said. “But I know I’m bad for you.”

She started crying at that point and I knew something was terribly wrong—and that thing was me.

“How are you bad for me? By making me awesome? I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life, Jake. You make me feel amazing. Like I’m special… how can you say you’re bad for me?”

She was kind of hyperventilating at that point and I knew I should hug her or something. That was what I wanted to do, but my brain wouldn’t let me. It was at war. My reality was splitting in two.

I knew my dad was right. I was worthless and unlovable. But here Eve was, crying and I knew—I knew deep down inside—she loved me. And I loved her.

How could both things be right?

Or maybe they were both in my head. Maybe it was all made up. Maybe the shit my dad was selling me was a bunch of bull and maybe Eve’s tears were the silly tears of a girl who only thought she was in love. But if they were both fake, if I had to choose to live in one false reality… well I was choosing Eve every time.

At least with her love seemed like a good thing. With her I felt like I might be more than a useless pile of bones. Even if she broke up with me and left me… I still think I’d rather live in that world than the one my father gave me.

But I still wasn’t sure what to think. I had no fucking clue what was real and what was fake. I had no clue who to trust. I certainly couldn’t fucking trust myself. But I knew I couldn’t walk away from Eve. I just couldn’t. The idea of insisting we break up and walk out of that dorm room… I’d rather die.

So I said, “Okay.”

And she threw herself around me sobbing happy tears. “Don’t scare me like that again, Jake Spencer!” she said. “Don’t you ever tell me you don’t love me or that we aren’t good for each other. It’s a fucking lie!”

But I did scare her again. I left her. And I can barely live with myself for that.

I’d gone over that night in my head a thousand times in the years since. It was the first night I’d taken a stand in my life. I’d believed in us so strongly from so early on, but it hadn’t been enough. I’d analyzed that choice from every angle, wondering if there was a flaw in me. Why had I chosen my relationship with Jake to take a stand on? It was interesting to realize Jake’s side. I don’t think I’d ever really and truly understood how confused he was. It wasn’t in my toolkit to understand brainwashing made a person incapable of discerning reality from fantasy.

I sat in the middle of my giant bed with the journal open to the last page. The bed was neatly made, the room was tidy, there was complete silence. I knew Jake would be home any minute.

I finally heard the sound of the Bronco pulling up outside. The doors slamming and Jake’s footsteps on the stairs, “Hey darlin’, I’m home!”

He sounded so happy.

I folded my hands in my lap and quietly waited to ruin his night.

19

The minute he walked into my room his eyes fell on the journal and he took a deep breath, his eyes steeling against the emotions that immediately boiled up inside him.

“Hey,” he said tightly, throwing his bag on the ground near the dresser. “I wondered if you were going to read that while I was gone.” He kicked off his shoes and loosened his tie, unbuttoning his cuffs and emptying his pockets onto the dresser. “I take it you have some questions.”

I took a deep breath and dove right in. “I am in awe of you, Jake Spencer.”

He snapped around surprised, his green eyes flashing in his handsome face. “Excuse me?”

“You lived in a bathroom for a month? He made you live on nothing but rice for three weeks? You had no real friends. He beat you like a dog, used you as a punching bag during his drunken rages, blamed you for everything that went wrong. He brainwashed you. And yet here you are...”

All the color left Jake’s face and he stood completely motionless, one hand leaned on the dresser. I suspect it was holding him up because he looked completely lost for a moment.

I kept going, “You should be broken. Anyone else would have folded under abuse like that, Jake. The fact that you are alive right now is remarkable. You could have turned to drugs or alcohol or any number of things to help you survive—but you didn’t. And instead you somehow found a way to get away from it, put it in your past, and become this remarkable person. You amaze me.”

He still didn’t move, just a statue standing across the room from me. After a moment he finally took a deep breath and eased back into the dresser, his eyes focusing on mine. “I didn’t have a choice.”

I smiled. “No, you did. You just didn’t accept defeat as a viable option. It takes an enormous amount of courage to change your life. And you didn’t just try Jake—you conquered. You are amazing, and I don’t just mean your work or your body. I mean you as a person. You’re happy, you’re positive and hopeful. It’s like the past doesn’t exist.”

He shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest. “It doesn’t, not anymore. It’s like a fairytale or a nightmare, I guess. I know it was my life, but I’ve dealt with it and it doesn’t matter anymore.”

“No?”

He grimaced. “Look Eve, the way I see it, it was a different person who lived that life. By dealing with it all and moving past it, I can honestly say it has nothing to do with the man standing in front of you. All that matters is now and where we go from here. I know what I want my life to look like. I want to create good things in this world to help replace all the bad things I know are out there. I think a part of me believes if I do enough, then the bad will start to suffocate.”

“How did you do it? He had you so fucked in the head... how did you learn to socialize and... I don’t know, function?”

He laughed and rubbed his hands together, massaging his hands alternately as he spoke, “You know how I was. Sometimes I was fine, I got it, I faked it, it was good enough for college. But once I snapped and left... I had to actually put in the work. It was like going to college all over again, except it wasn’t for math and English, it was for manners and conversation. I got lessons from my therapist and practiced. It took years to get it right. What you learned as a child and practiced as a teen, I learned over the last ten years. I can honestly say I really didn’t know how to make friends, sit down and hang out, be a good employee. Shit like that was all fake up until my therapist actually put me on a regimen.”

I had the journal laid open to the entry where Jake talked about graduation night. He strode across the room, all male confidence and completely different from the boy he talked about on these pages, and stretched out across the bed. He picked up the journal and looked over the page in question.

“Everything changed that night,” he murmured. “I had been standing with one foot in each reality up until that point. I was too afraid to walk completely away from my dad. But when he started in on me, and you were there watching... well, I had to make a choice. I had to pick a life. I had to either be the kid my dad trained me to be, live in his world and let him treat me like shit. Or I needed to take a stand. I needed to walk away and never look back.” He closed the book and tossed it to the side. “Eve, you made that choice easy. What life was my dad offering me? I had just spent four years with you, seeing a whole different world. I knew it was out there. I think he knew it, too. That once I started fighting back I wasn’t going to stop until he let me go. That was why it was so bad. There was no way I was letting him anywhere near you, and he wasn’t willing to let me go.”

I wiggled down on the bed until I was looking up at him from my back. He smiled sadly and ran his hand down my cheek, cupping my face. I still wished I could just take away all his pain—absorb it somehow so all he had left inside was goodness. “I love you, Jake.”

“And I’m grateful for that every day.” He dipped down and gently kissed me. “The past doesn’t exist, only here and now.”

I let him roll on top of me, his hips rocking into mine as I spread my legs and wrapped my arms around his neck. He was so sure the past didn’t matter anymore.

I, however, was not convinced.

* * *

It was a work night, but we didn’t care. We couldn’t stop talking. We talked through sex, which was slow and sexy, but made even slower by every pause to talk. Then we moved to the shower and talked as we washed each other clean.

Jake stopped and stared at me. “What?” I asked. He was looking past me, thinking about something that was making him smile.

“I’m not a talker,” he said scrunching up his brow and shaking his head in confusion. “I mean, I talk. But I don’t just sit around talking about the universe... unless I’m with you.” He chuckled as he pulled a white t-shirt over his head and a pair of boxer briefs over his ass. “When we get like this, I feel like I could just talk all night. It’s so... weird.”

I laughed but I knew exactly what he meant. This was the ‘best friends’ side of us. There was no one else I’d rather sit around talking about the universe with. We could talk about nothing or everything. I just wanted to hear him talk.

I reached into the same drawer and pulled out an identical white t-shirt. Jake basically lived here: he had a dresser full of clothes, a sizeable section of my closet, he slept here every night. And it wasn’t as if we hadn’t lived together in the past. Jake and I lived together for nearly three years in college. Something was holding me back. There was something specific that felt like a wall between Jake and forever.

“What about your father?” I asked.

Jake was still standing right beside me. He was frozen—the muscles in his body all stiffening. “He’s not an issue, we’ve talked about this babe.”

I raised my eyebrow and gave him a skeptical stare. “Seriously?”

His lips turned down in a grimace, “He is not an issue,” he repeated.

“He’s still alive and living in the same house with your mom. He’s an issue, Jake.”

“He is not an issue because I say he isn’t an issue. He will never in any way be a part of my life ever again. I have a private investigator on my payroll whose sole job—his one and only responsibility— is to keep tabs on my father.”

Whoa. Talk about a news flash. “What if he just shows up?”

“I will send him away,” Jake said firmly.

“When was the last time you spoke with him?” I asked, needing to know these answers. Yes, it was Jake’s life and Jake’s demons, but they affected my life completely.

“Graduation night.”

That couldn’t be healthy. “You haven’t spoken to him since, yet you claim he won’t bother you?”

“He’s been appropriately warned. I have no intention of ever speaking to him ever again.”

I swallowed, the panic growing inside me. “But what if he does. We live miles apart. There is a very good chance...”

Jake stared at me, but he wasn’t looking at me, he was looking through me. “If he does, it will be fine, Eve. I will be fine.” His eyes finally focused back on me. He was doing that thing where he looked into my soul. I could feel him inside me, connecting with me on a completely different level.

But my mind was running wild with a thousand scenarios that did not end in fine. I knew somewhere in the back of my head I was worried Jake Sr. would pop up one day, as angry and horrible as ever, and ruin everything. One bad night with Jake’s father had changed the course of a decade. I didn’t want to take a chance on him ruining anything else in our lives. “When I told you about Sebastian I lost you for a couple of weeks,” I finally said.

Jake looked confused for a moment and I expected him to agree with me. But that wasn’t what happened. “That was my first real world test, and I am ashamed to say I did not perform to my expectations.” He cocked his head and smiled at me, brushing my damp hair back behind my ear. The gentle contact of his fingertips tingled against my skin. “I have all the tools and I know how to use them, but Sebastian was the first time I’d had to actually do it. I couldn’t get my tools out fast enough and my insecurities got a chance to take over. I fell back on bad habits to survive.” His eyes focused on me and their intensity sent a shiver through me. “I’ve evaluated what happened and now that I’ve lived through it, it will not happen again. I won’t let it happen again.”

“Not even with your father? Don’t you think that’s expecting a bit much out of yourself?”

He shook his head and cupped my chin, moving his body closer to mine so that we were almost touching. “No, I really do believe I’ll be fine if I’m ever forced to see my father and I’ll tell you why...” he paused, waiting for my nod. “I have you. And I’m not saying that to put any responsibility or pressure on you. It’s a simple fact. You make me stronger. I think Sebastian was a bigger mountain for me to climb than my father for that specific reason. Jake Sr. doesn’t have the power to crush my world anymore. I took that away from him. He’s just a shitty asshole who ruined the first thirty years of my life because he couldn’t deal with his own problems. He means nothing to me anymore. Despite him, I have everything I ever wanted and I worked hard for it. Even if it were all stripped away from me tomorrow, I know I have that power within me to recreate it. But if I didn’t have you to share it with, it wouldn’t have meaning. You give my world meaning, Eve. My father is an afterthought—he’s something I can deal with. But anything that might take you away from me—those are the things that can hurt me.”

His hand on my face and the depth of his eyes were a footnote to the overwhelming weight of his words on my heart. For as strong and confident as Jake was, there was one thing that could destroy it all.

And that thing was me.

“I would never let that happen to you, Jake,” I whispered. “I’m yours, you’re stuck with me, I’d rather die than let anything come between us again. I will fight for you, just like you fight for me.” I needed him to understand.

He wove his hands up into my damp hair, the clean scent of our body wash overwhelming me and the spicy undercurrent of Jake making me dizzy. Or maybe it was just how much I loved him.

He ran his nose along mine, the tingle of his skin taking my breath away. Then he kissed my forehead and pressed his against mine. “I know.” His voice was deep and rough, I could hear the real fear behind his words. “But there are so many things we can’t control, Eve. Those things scare the hell out of me.”

I tightened my hold on Jake. I didn’t want to let him go... he was right. I really wished I had something comforting to say to him. I would have liked to have heard it myself.

20

It was Friday night and Jake’s company was involved in a big project with the Channelside Entertainment District and all the initial plans were being unveiled. Everyone involved was going from the architects to the investors, and that meant Jake and his partner Greg. It was black tie and I was very much looking forward to seeing Jake in a tux. His tux was at his apartment so he’d gone there to get dressed, giving Jennie and I a chance to be girly.

“You two seem to be doing well,” Jennie asked casually, handing me a glass of champagne. “Are you going to let the poor man move in?”

Ah, the ever sticky subject of our living situation. “Yes. Tonight was the final straw. It’s ridiculous that he had to go to an apartment he’s never in to get a tux.”

Jennie smiled triumphantly, “Good. Living together is nice, by the way.”

I could tell by the dreamy look on my friend’s face. I didn’t need an explanation. “I’m really happy for you two crazy kids.”

Jennie smiled some more but I saw a flicker of something in her expression.

“What?”

She took a quick sip of her champagne, “Oh, it’s nothing.”

“Bullshit.”

Jennie laughed. “You are going to a very nice affair, Eve. You might want to clean that mouth up.”

“Spill. The. Beans.” I insisted. My language was just fine, my best friend on the other hand, was not.

“Max came to see me at work today.”

I lowered myself onto the bed, “And what happened?”

She shrugged. “He told me he thought he might love me and to give him a chance.”

My mouth fell open, “You have got to be kidding me.”

She shook her head and she looked so sad. “Do you know how long I’ve waited for him to say that? And even then he still couldn’t say it. It was still ‘I think’. I think. You know what Eve? I think I stopped loving anything about that man right then. I don’t know what I thought I loved about him, but it’s gone now. I can’t possibly love someone who doesn’t know what they want. I want what you have with Jake—absolute certainty. And I have that with Andrew. I know he loves me unconditionally and I love him more than I ever thought I could love a man.”

The conviction on her face made it clear it was exactly how she felt. Her eyes flicked up to mine, “But you know what? I’m glad he came to see me today. I think I would have always wondered in the back of my mind.. what if? Now when Andrew asks me to marry him, I will know with every fiber of my being that I am ready to give him all of me forever. No doubts.”

I was happy for Jennie, but her words suddenly made me keenly aware of Jake. Was I ready to give him all of me forever? That was a pretty bold statement.

“You look fantastic, Eve. Finish getting ready, I didn’t mean to stop you.”

I’d picked out a soft and simple black strapless dress. It accentuated my shoulders that Jake loved so much. The front wrapped together in a delicate fold before falling and clinging to every inch of my body on the way down to the floor. I felt like a goddess in it.

My makeup was dark. Dark smokey eyes, my skin was powdered until it was flawless, and my lips were a deep shade of red. I’d styled my hair straight with a soft wave, parted on the side, and the short side pinned seductively back over my ear with a glittering pin. But my favorite part was the jewelry. I’d managed to find a bracelet to match the sun necklace Jake gave me. I’d barely taken the necklace off since that night, so I was glad to find more ways to add it to my wardrobe.

I knew I looked good, but I was dying to see Jake’s reaction. I wanted his jaw to drop.

I was well rewarded for my efforts.

At exactly six o’clock he opened my front door and called up for me. Jennie squealed with as much excitement as I did. She hid in the corner to watch as I slowly descended the stairs.

Jake was checking a message on his phone, so he didn’t look up until I was half way down. It gave me a chance to check him out. He looked good. His black tux was fitted to his broad shoulders and trim waist. He looked like pure, hot sex.

And he was all mine.

His eyes caught my legs first as they peeked out with each step. He froze, his fist locking around his phone, as his eyes traveled up. By the time his eyes reached mine they were a smoldering, brilliant green. His jaw wasn’t hanging open, but it was locked shut and I could see the muscle straining to keep it there.

I walked right into his arms and he pulled me close, growling in my ear, “You look amazing.” Then he spun me around, slamming my back up against the front door, and ground against me with his hip and his very firm erection. “You might look too good. Shall I fuck you first?”

I grinned, completely pleased with myself, and coyly looked up at him through my lashes. “Jennie is watching us from upstairs...”

He growled again. “I don’t care.” Then he raised his voice, “Jennie can close her eyes if she doesn’t want to see this!”

To his delight, Jennie yelled back, “You’re gross! Glad you liked her dress, though!” And we heard the stomp of her feet as she very obviously walked away.

I swallowed hard, trying to control my breathing as Jake inched my skirt up, finally reaching underneath and running his fingertips along the edge of my panties. I sucked in a breath and leaned my head back against the door. He was teasing me in one of my most sensitive spots.

“That’s right, darlin’. You look so good I could eat you.”

And then he plunged two of his fingers inside me. I cried out, panting from the pleasure he was giving me with just a few quick strokes. Then he eased his fingers back out, let my skirt fall back to the floor, and stuck his glistening fingers in his mouth, sucking hard. “You taste amazing... as always.” His free hand grabbed me around the nape of my neck, folding his fingers behind me. “You stay that way all night and I’ll fuck you in the bathroom, in the car, and all night long in our bed.”

I grinned and groaned in pleasure at his promise.

Jake had fun on the way to the party, his hand gently stroking further and further up my leg between gears, until he found my panties again. But by then we were there. I think he was enjoying drawing out the teasing. He knew how much I enjoyed it, plus that way I was on the edge of orgasm at all times. It made his job easier. Knowing he’d promised to fuck me in the bathroom had me grinning as we walked into the busy party. I think we enjoyed having sex as much where we shouldn’t as we did where we should. At least we’d gotten it under control, saving our wild sides for special occasions… like tonight.

But everything changed in an instant. The moment my eyes fell on Sebastian.

The moment I saw him, I knew we had to leave.

“Babe, I don’t feel so good. Can we go?”

His face immediately fell with worry and he clutched me to his side. “Of course. What’s wrong?”

I just shook my head and tried to forcibly drag him from the room before it was too late.

It was too late.

Jake’s partner was on him in a heartbeat. “Jake! Finally! Hello Eve.”

Jake paused to shake Greg’s hand. “I’m sorry, but Eve’s not feeling well, we’re leaving.”

“Oh no, what’s wrong?”

I shook my head and held up my free hand, the other still firmly wrapped around Jake for support. “My stomach just isn’t right. Maybe I ate something?”

He turned and shouted at a waiter. “I need a water over here!”

It drew the attention of everyone around us. To Jake’s credit, he knew how that would make me feel and pulled me closer to his side, tucking my head against his shoulder. “I think I’ll just get her out of here...”

But it was too late. Sebastian caught my eye, his jaw going slack. He crossed the room in three strides. “I thought that was you, Eve. My God,” he leaned in and kissed me on the cheek, a move I wished I could have stopped. “I haven’t seen you in forever. You look fantastic.” Then his eyes raked over Jake with a dubious glint.

At that point I stopped trying to leave and stopped fighting Jake and Greg. I smiled weakly at my ex. “It’s good to see you, too.” Then I looked up at Jake. He could see the lie in my eyes and had a million questions in his. Questions I was about to answer with a simple introduction. “Sebastian Monroe, I’d like you to finally meet Jake Spencer.”

The minute I said Sebastian’s name, Jake’s arm tightened around me and he straightened just a little bit. I felt his mood shift completely into the cold zone and I could have sworn I smelled testosterone. It was coming off of both men like a perfume.

To both their credit they played it off well. Sebastian extended his hand with a warm, practiced smile. “Well, well, well. It is good to finally meet the man I’ve heard all about.”

Jake smiled back. “Same here. Eve has told me all about you.”

They gave each other a good once over, it seemed understood between them what they were doing: assessing the competition. Not that there was an actual competition taking place. I was with Jake. Period.

Jake cleared his throat. “And this is my partner, Greg Hamilton.”

Sebastian smiled at Greg politely. “Yes, we’ve already met. I’m the main architect on the project. But I didn’t realize you were the ‘Spencer’ of Spencer and Hamilton.”

Greg looked completely confused so I decided to help him out. “Sebastian and I used to date a couple of years back.”

A look of complete realization dawned on his face and he shot a sympathetic look at Jake. “Small world.”

Sebastian ignored Jake and focused entirely on me. A move I was quite sure was deliberate. “How is your family, Eve? I see June is enjoying Yale. She’s up to what? Her third major now?”

I laughed uncomfortably. This was getting awkward fast. “Fourth actually. I keep telling her she doesn’t have to actually change it until she’s sure, but I think she enjoys the drama.”

Sebastian laughed so smoothly. I’d forgotten how smooth he was. Everything about him, as a matter of fact. I think that may have been why I was never completely attracted to him. I liked the rough around the edges, scruffy, casual element of danger too much. Sebastian simply didn’t have it. “And Cassandra just had baby two?”

I nodded again, feeling Jake’s mood plummeting beside me. “Yes, William.”

He smiled politely, “Well, please pass along my congratulations when you talk to her.”

“I will.”

Sebastian smiled at both Greg, then Jake, before returning to me. “I am so glad to have run into you, Eve. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you throughout the evening, enjoy the party. Gentlemen.”

21

The moment Sebastian’s back was turned, Jake gave Greg a look that said he’d better get the hell out of the way. Which he did—fast.

Then he trained his burning gaze on me. “So that was the Sebastian,” he said through clenched teeth. Jake’s anger and jealousy was palpable. And his grip on my arm was nearly painful.

“Yes, are you okay?”

His eyes flashed with fury. “Of course I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?”

Then he did something I never would have expected, Jake shook his head like he was shaking away everything that happened since we walked through the door. It was an act. A very good act, but an act just the same. Jake had put up a front, he was handsome and polite when interacting with me, but underneath he was hurting.

“Please don’t do this.”

He stared at me long and hard, to the point I thought he might actually listen to me, but then he shook his head and sighed. “I have to be here tonight and I’m not getting through it unless I pretend all of this didn’t just happen. I promise to talk later.”

If he hadn’t looked so completely sincere right then I might have dragged him home and made him talk. But he really did look like he just wanted to get through the evening. “All right.”

He pulled a fake smile onto his lips and gently took my arm, tucking it into his elbow. “Would you like a drink before we get started?”

“Absolutely.”

Jake actually chuckled and patted my hand before taking a deep breath and walking me across the room to the bar. It was a good sign that underneath he was upset, but fine.

The evening took off from there. We socialized our pants off. Unfortunately any hope I’d had of a tryst of some kind seemed to have been dashed by Sebastian. Jake was stiff and as far from romantic as I could imagine. Normally he’d be whispering naughty things in my ear or allowing his hand to graze my ass or breast when people weren’t looking. We’d be giving each other bedroom eyes and sexy smiles.

Not tonight. We were all business.

It hurt to see us like that. It was wrong for so many reasons. It wasn’t us. We weren’t the ‘all business’ kind of couple. We were the couple that at the very least was caught making out in the corner. We were the couple that couldn’t stop holding hands because we couldn’t bear the idea of being separated.

Instead Jake was holding me possessively, as if I might run off. He seemed to have a hand on me at all times. My elbow, my hip, my hand... all tightly held against him.

I was so disappointed and it was starting to show. I couldn’t keep faking the smiles and forcing the conversations.

Thankfully Greg saved the day.

“Eve, do you have any idea how hard Jake worked for Tom?” Greg asked, tossing back an appetizer and grinning. Greg was blond and a little rough around the edges, but one of those guys you warmed up to immediately.

I shook my head smiling up at Jake. “No, he doesn’t tell me much about himself when he talks about being over there.”

“Well,” Greg leaned in toward me, “the kid would work every minute of every day if we let him. He didn’t have an off switch. Three other companies tried to woo him away, even though they knew he was Tom’s nephew.”

I squeezed Jake’s arm and he actually smiled. He shrugged his shoulders. “Gotta learn somehow.”

Greg snorted. “I knew right away I wanted to work with him if he ever decided to come back. All he had to do was say the word.”

“And it’s been everything you hoped for?” Jake asked half joking.

“And more. You’re gonna make me rich all over again, Jake. I love you man.”

Apparently Greg had a funny streak.

“What does he actually do at work, Greg? He’s always in these fantastic suits.” I stepped back and put my hand to my chin like I was judging him in a fashion show.

Greg smacked Jake on the back. “He’s our cover model. I send him in to land the projects we might not get. They take one look at Mr. Handsome with his rough voice, listen to his brilliant presentation, and beg us to work for them. You should know, Eve,” he winked at me. Greg was as bad as Jake. They were both cocky bastards.

But I couldn’t deny that was pretty much how Jake’s presentation went for me. “True, true. I was pretty much a home run, though. That wasn’t fair.”

“Seriously Eve,” Greg took me by the elbow and leaned in to my ear, “the student has become the master. He oversees all our engineers, takes every single one of them under his wing and turns them into beautiful little butterflies. Well, that is when we can get him out of his workshop.”

Jake stood tall and straight, swirling his whiskey in one hand while watching Greg and I talk about him, only his eyes moving as he studied us. “All right, that’s about enough. I can’t leave the two of you alone together, ever. I have a feeling some sort of conspiracy might be unleashed on me.”

Greg laughed. “You’ll never see it comin’. Am I right, Eve?”

I nodded emphatically. I was up for planning a conspiracy against Jake anytime. Especially if it involved Greg’s wicked sense of humor.

He walked off toward the bar and for the first time all night Jake actually pulled me against him. I melted, savoring the moment in case it disappeared as fast as it arrived. His hand wandered up to my hair and he kissed my forehead before pressing his own to the spot he’d just kissed. “I’m sorry.”

I looked up at him through my lashes. “For what, exactly?”

He squeezed his eyes shut and sighed. “Everything. Being an ass, not having any fun... this wasn’t how tonight was supposed to go. You are in this sexy dress and here I a—”

I ran my thumb along the smooth skin of his freshly shaven cheek. “Flirt with me for the rest of the night and all will be forgiven.”

His fingers traced along the skin of my neck, taking my breath away. “You wore the necklace?”

“It’s my favorite piece of jewelry. This amazing guy gave it to me and I can’t seem to take it off.”

His arm came around me and he roughly pulled me up off the floor, kissing me hard. I sighed into the kiss as relief flooded me. This was my Jake.

“So it’s true, Jake Spencer and Eve Daniels really are the hottest couple in Tampa.”

I turned to find Tanner Stevens smiling up at us. Tanner was short, a mere five foot nine inches tall, red haired and a little round. And he’d been my favorite accountant with the Rays. That was, until he left three years ago to join a big investment firm.

“Tanner...” I smiled and patted Jake on the back letting him know I wanted down.

Tanner opened his arms and let me hug him. “I’m still single, Eve. You could always leave tall, dark, and handsome for short, red, and rich...”

I laughed and pinched his cheek. “You were always my favorite. Jake this is Tanner, he used to work with me.”

I was infinitely relieved to see Jake’s smile. “Nice to meet you.”

Tanner placed his hands on his hips and eyed Jake. “He’s not nearly as dreamy as you described him. I was expecting Superman and a cape or something, but this, this is just James Bond.”

Tanner was incapable of saying anything straight. Everything had to be a joke or an over exaggeration.

“She’s mentioned me?” Jake asked suddenly very curious.

Tanner snorted. “Of course she has. You were Jake. And I don’t know if you two are aware of it, but you are the buzz of town. All I hear about is how hot the two of you are. Handsome and beautiful and having a great time. Count me jealous. And now that I’ve seen it in person, I’m sick to my stomach. If I didn’t love my Evie so much I’d hate you.”

I smiled. “But you do love me...”

He nodded and hugged me to him again. “Jake, you are a lucky man. Eve isn’t just a pretty face—she’s fucking brilliant. There was a reason she was my favorite and it had nothing to do with the juicy gossip she so wonderfully fed me on a daily basis.”

“Please tell me more,” Jake said with a raise of his eyebrow.

Tanner was so excited to talk. He was vibrating and animated, his hands moving with every word he said. “Every report was perfect, under budget, and brilliant. Did you know our approval ratings jumped twenty-five percent after she became Director? Twenty-five percent. That’s huge. No one’s ever made a leap like that!”

I shook my head. “But...”

He grinned at me and winked. “She’s never dropped a point. Ever. Trust me, I still check in with my people.”

It felt kind of nice to have someone singing my praises. I liked looking good at what I did to Jake. “If you ever need any help with your finances, Tanner is very talented when it comes to money.”

Jake nodded. “I will keep that in mind.” He held out his hand. “Do you mind if I take my brilliant girlfriend out for a dance?”

Tanner made some sort of noise I thought was supposed to sound like a yes, clapping his hands and shooing us away.

22

“A dance, huh?” I cocked my eyebrow and looked at him sideways. He had a glint in his eyes and I didn’t see dancing in our future.

At least not that kind.

“Do you have any idea how hot it is to hear how amazing you are? To know that you’re on my arm?”

I shook my head, my eyes locked onto his dark stare.

He paused, pulling me against him. “Hot.” The muscles in my belly clenched and I started to throb. I wanted Jake—now.

“Bathroom?”

He nodded silently and smiled crookedly, pulling me down the hallway.

The minute we were inside he set down his half empty whiskey glass and locked the door. Then his hands were on either side of my head as he leaned into the door. “It is so fucking hot to know I have the woman everyone wishes they had.”

I pulsed. I was so wet already and all he’d done was say amazing things about me. Of course there was also his proximity—his scent was intoxicating. His spicy natural scent mixed with his cologne was making me dizzy as he dipped his head down and gently brushed his lips along mine. I was a liquid mess as I pressed myself up against the door. I needed it to keep myself up.

“You look so beautiful tonight, Eve.” He moved his soft lips over my jaw to my ear where I loved his kisses so much. My body kept throbbing, wanting more, but Jake was quite content to tease me, building up the desire inside me. I could barely catch my breath I was panting so hard.

He trailed his feather-light kisses down my throat and to the soft tops of my breasts. He paused and ran his fingers over them, his breath catching and hitching. “Fuck, Eve.” His eyes were wild.

I frantically found my zipper. “Help me?”

His breath caught again as his hands slid my zipper down, softly caressing the skin beneath. “Like heaven, Eve. Your skin is like heaven. I can’t see straight when I touch it.”

I stepped out of my dress and he folded it carefully, placing it over the towel bar on the wall.

He actually shivered when he turned to look at me. “Dear God, woman. Are you trying to kill me?” I was braless, only wearing black lacey panties and black high heels.

I shook my head slowly. “I just know what my man likes.”

I think he might have growled on his way back to me—his hands and his mouth tantalizing me as he moved from my mouth down my body, kneeling in front of me. He pulled my panties to the side, hooking them out of the way with his thumb, and dove between my legs. I called out as his fingers disappeared inside me. I hadn’t expected such a sudden invasion, but I liked it. I liked his excitement. I liked feeling like us.

He teased me only for a moment before pulling his fingers back out and licking them, groaning. “Oh baby, I’ve been waiting all night for another taste of dessert.”

I shuddered as his mouth moved over me, his tongue and his fingers teasing me, pulling me closer and closer to climax, my fingers weaving through his hair, my leg over his shoulder. “Jake,” I rasped, “I want you. I want you inside me.”

Jake shot to his feet, “Yes, ma’am.”

I was suddenly alone and empty, my body pulsing and throbbing without his touch and all I wanted was him. I wanted us locked together when my body climaxed. His pants fell to the floor and his cock sprang free. Jake grabbed me and hauled me up onto the counter, my hands frantically moving down his buttons, looking for his skin beneath. I wanted to touch him, too.

And then he was inside me, I closed my eyes and sucked in a surprised breath. Even with as wet and ready as I was, his sudden invasion took my breath away. “Are you all right?” he breathed, his eyes rolling back and his jaw going slack.

“Hard. I want it hard, Jake.”

His eyes flew open to meet mine. “Yes, ma’am.” He gripped me around the hips and slammed into me again and this time I actually cried out. But I didn’t care. It was probably bad that I didn’t—anyone could be on the other side of the door. The only thing I cared about was what we were doing right then.

My hands ran up his naked torso, under his shirt, and gripped onto his shoulders as he took me on the counter. The feeling was overwhelming. Every thrust took my breath away and sent my heart rate skyrocketing.

“You’re killing me, do you feel yourself?” he gasped.

I did, I knew exactly what he meant. My whole body was vibrating and contracting around him. I was so close to orgasm and yet not going over the edge. It had to be torture to feel me squeezing around his cock like that.

“Come on baby, let me hear you.”

I’d been on the edge of release for so long, I had no idea what would tip me over, but I needed to figure it out. And then Jake slowed, releasing his grip on my hip and sliding up to my neck. His fingers wrapped around to the nape, and he tilted my head to look at him. “I’m here, baby. Look at me. This is just you and me.” He moved slowly in and out. In and out. His thumb running back and forth across my cheek, and his green eyes burning into mine.

I came, my jaw falling open as my body shattered, and our eyes stayed locked. Jake was absolutely transfixed, watching me come until he couldn’t hold back any longer, and then he came, too. Hard, powerful thrusts followed by a shudder and complete relaxation.

He folded me against him.

“Eve, that was... amazing. You were so beautiful.”

Amazing. Yep, that was the word I would use, too... if I could remember how to talk. My brain was mush, my body was drained, and I was contemplating moving into this bathroom just so I wouldn’t have to leave.

Jake chuckled, “That good, huh? I’ve fucked you into silence?”

“Yep.” I finally managed a single syllable word.

His chest rumbled again and then his strong arms moved around so that he could look at me, “Darlin’ I promise to take you straight home, but first I’ve got to get you dressed again.”

I smiled and bit my lip. “No one’s missing us. We can hide out a while longer.”

He shook his head giving me a devilish look. “Well it is a damn fine thing I didn’t try to fuck you in the hallway. This would have been a disaster.”

“Oh, we would have gotten caught for sure. And with all these fancy people... we never would have lived it down.”

“They’d be talking about it at parties years from now: Do you remember that one couple... the ones caught fucking?”

We cleaned up quickly once I got my feet under me. Jake helped me back into my dress and after a few adjustments I felt we were as close as we could get to looking like we hadn’t just had a wild romp in a bathroom.

Jake pulled me in for one last kiss. “You sure you don’t want me to take you home? I could repeat my performance. In the shower perhaps?”

“No, I want to finish the night. It is a lovely party and there are lots of people we still haven’t talked to. Besides, I think I might need a little bit to recover before we do that again.”

Jake had a wicked grin. “I’ll get you a water first.”

“Wise,” I agreed and opened the door.

Unfortunately there was someone waiting for us. He wasn’t happy. And he was also my ex-boyfriend.

Sebastian was leaned up against the wall, a frown on his face, and his arms crossed over his chest. I immediately straightened up and stepped to the side as Jake followed me out. His surprise was as graceful as mine. “Sorry about that,” Jake muttered, placing his hand on the small of my back and motioning for me to head down the hall ahead of him.

The only sound Sebastian made was the slamming of the bathroom door as we hurried down the hallway.

Awkward. That was awkward. As Jake got me some water I texted Jennie. It was one of those things you simply couldn’t keep to yourself.

“Do we pretend that didn’t just happen?” Jake asked with a look of mock horror on his face.

“What else would we do? Would you want an ex to come up to you and discuss the amazing sex they’d just had?”

Jake smirked, the pride glowing in his eyes and curling on his lips. “Amazing, eh?”

Cocky bastard. He knew it was amazing, he’d called it that himself. “I believe those were the words we tossed around, yes.”

His arm snaked around my waist and he dipped his lips down to whisper in my ear. “It was fucking earth-shattering watching you come, Eve.”

I melted against him and looked up at him through my lashes. “Glad I could rock your world.”

Jake growled and nipped at my earlobe. “You are my world, darlin’.”

Before I could enjoy his sweet words we were interrupted.

“Jake Spencer, I’m Lane Harris, one of the investors on the project.”

Jake winked at me before turning to Lane and shaking his hand. “Nice to meet you Lane. How can I help you?”

“I was wondering if we could have a minute of your time?”

“Of course, Lane. May I introduce you to my date? This is my girlfriend Eve Daniels.”

Lane smiled at me pleasantly. “It’s nice to meet you Miss Daniels, I actually know your father.”

I straightened up a little bit in Jake’s arms at the mention of my father. “It’s nice to meet you as well.” I extended my hand and he delicately shook it, as was the usual custom of men at parties like this.

“You two are quite adorable together. I’ve heard a lot about you over the years, Miss Daniels. Joe is a very proud father and from what I’ve heard, it’s all deserved. You’ve done a wonderful job with the Rays.”

I was flattered. The last thing I expected tonight was to see so many people I knew from work. This was Jake’s night and I had come with the intention of being his arm candy. But I was quickly realizing this was a small town and we were swimming with the big fish. Jake’s circles and mine were quickly colliding.

“I appreciate that very much, Lane. And please call me Eve.”

Lane lead us over to a group of three men. “Jake, Eve, may I introduce you to some of the other investors? This is Peter Salsburg and Jeff McComb. And of course I’m sure you’ve already met the architect, Mr. Sebastian Monroe.”

We shook Peter and Jeff’s hands and the usual nice to meet you’s were exchanged, but Sebastian hung back. He was clearly in a foul mood, not that I would have expected any different, but he looked positively angry. His normally smooth exterior was ruffled, his shirt slightly out of place, his tie just a bit off center, his hair messy. On any other man—hell, on Jake—it would look normal and even a little sexy. But on Sebastian it looked wrong.

“Sebastian,” I nodded in his direction, but couldn’t bring myself to look him in the eye. It was just too weird.

“Eve,” he replied, even his voice was rough. Sebastian was not doing well at all. “Jake, seems you’ve been busy this evening.”

The temperature around us dropped. Jake and I understood the double meaning behind Sebastian’s words, but the others were blissfully unaware of the strange conversation we were having.

“I have,” Jake acknowledged, putting his arm back around my waist. It felt protective. I was glad, because the vibe I was getting from Sebastian was making me incredibly uncomfortable.

“So, now that we have both you and Sebastian here, we wanted to go over some details and bring up a few concerns we had for the designs.”

I watched the two men I’d lived with, both brilliant and powerful, as they interacted with the investors in the project. All three investors were absolutely taken with Sebastian’s designs and Jake’s ingenuity. Both men handled the conversation brilliantly. Soothing the investors when they needed it, walking them through information when it was necessary. They were the very picture of professionalism.

But Jake was uncomfortable. I had the feeling his radar was going crazy, he was worried about Sebastian and that, in turn, made him worried about me. I noticed how he kept me opposite Sebastian, even moving his body to block his view when it seemed to lock on me.

Sebastian was completely unlike himself. He was short and clipped with his words, not nearly as smooth or eloquent as I knew he could be. The differences were subtle, but to me they were obvious.

“Thank you for your time, gentlemen. We look forward to seeing what you do with this,” Lane said shaking everyone’s hands once again.

And leaving the three of us alone together.

The uncomfortable silence made my skin crawl and the only thing I wanted to do was go home just like Jake had suggested when we left the bathroom. Why hadn’t we just gone home then?

“Good night, Sebastian,” Jake said turning me away.

“You had sex in a bathroom, Eve? With him?” The way he spat out the words, the condescending drip they had, that was what turned us around. Anything less and Jake and I would have happily walked away from Sebastian’s game. But he baited us and we took it.

I froze and Jake tensed.

“I want you to really think about what you’re doing, Sebastian. Think before you speak,” Jake said as he turned around. “You can’t take back what you say.”

Sebastian was brooding, but defiant. He obviously didn’t like being chastised by Jake. “It was simply a question.”

“That wasn’t just a question. That was a carefully placed insult. And I don’t like it when anyone insults me or my girlfriend.” The testosterone cloud was blooming again.

I stepped out from under Jake’s arm. “Please don’t do this, Sebastian. Not here.”

Jake jerked. “Not ever.”

But Sebastian was on a mission. Whatever his goal was, he wasn’t going to be moved. “Are you going to answer me?”

I shook my head. “No I’m not going to answer you. You know the answer to both questions.”

“The Eve I knew wouldn’t reduce herself to such rude behavior.”

Oh no he didn’t. “Excuse me? The Eve you knew? Maybe you didn’t know me at all. Did that bright idea ever occur to you?” I took a step toward him and my finger came out, pointing at him and waving, “We never had passion like that. You never needed me so desperately you had to have me wherever we were. That is why I’m with him.”

Sebastian’s mouth fell open and he laughed, but it was from disbelief. I was fairly certain Sebastian couldn’t even imagine feeling that strongly about anyone. “He abandoned you.”

He looked Jake up and down like he couldn’t stand the sight of him. It kind of made me want to forget where we were or that I had any manners at all. Because at the moment we were keeping things pretty quiet. There were only a couple of sideways glances at our threesome.

But what I really wanted to do was beat the crap out of my ex. And that, I was pretty sure, would get us some attention.

“Are you insane?” I hissed. “My relationship with Jake is none of your damn business.”

“I’m not so sure. I care about you Eve and right now you’re not thinking clearly. I think you might need to hear some sense.”

What did that mean? What the hell was he talking about?

“You are about to cross that line, Sebastian,” Jake warned.

Sebastian glared at Jake. “You want to talk about lines, Jake? How about the one you crossed when you left your girlfriend?”

I was pretty impressed by Jake—he wasn’t letting anything get to him. He was the picture of cool confidence. Sebastian would use anything he could get his hands on right now, so Jake wasn’t giving him anything.

Me on the other hand, I wasn’t so smooth. I didn’t have it in me to stand there quietly and listen. “If you have something to say, just say it and stop playing games.”

“I’m worried about you, Eve.” He said it so simply and calmly I almost believed he was really worried about me and not his bruised ego. Somewhere inside I knew all of this was coming from that. He was hurt. Our relationship hadn’t worked out, but clearly he’d wanted it to, maybe even expected for us to get back together one day. It was why he was still connected to my friends and family. Sebastian had never let go of the idea we would be together.

It probably wasn’t because he loved me, not in the way I viewed love. I was pretty sure, especially looking back, that Sebastian was in love with the idea of me. I was the woman he wanted on his arm, the family he wanted to marry into, the external trappings of success he thought would make him happy. But he’d never really known me and never loved me the way I wanted to be loved.

“Eve, he can’t be good for you. He left you and he broke your heart. Do you remember how you were? Because I do. We were friends before we dated, and I knew you even before that. You were miserable. He made you miserable. And now you’re back with him—the man who destroyed you. What does that say about you?”

I hadn’t expected him to go there, so it took me by surprise. I’d expected to hear all about how Jake had ruined my life before and he would do it again. The whole ‘people don’t change’ line.

I didn’t expect him to turn the tables on me.

“Me?” I tried the idea out on my lips. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it.

“Yes, you.” He squinted at me like I was a puzzle he was trying to solve. “You followed Jake until he left you even though you knew he was bad for you. He was a mess and yet... you wouldn’t let him go. Then you waited. And waited. I don’t call the bullshit halfhearted dating you did between Jake and me, dating. And then there was me. You were never really with me. No matter how hard I tried, there was always a brick wall between you and me. You never let me see inside.”

He was seething with anger and saying a lot of things. I was trying to keep up with him, but he just kept coming at me with more. “What are you so afraid of Eve? What do you have hidden inside you don’t want someone good like me to see? I think you like being with Jake because he’s safe. He is so screwed up that the attention will never be on you and you can keep hiding all your secrets behind that wall of yours—and no one will ever notice.”

My jaw fell open but no words came out. I had no ready response for that. What Sebastian was saying... it had never occurred to me before. I was so incredibly fixated on the things being done to me, on the things on the outside that I’d never really looked in. I had no response to Sebastian’s questions because I had no answers.

“Eve, don’t listen to him,” Jake warned. “He’s messing with your head.”

“Sebastian... I want you to leave now,” I said quietly. “I’m sorry we surprised you tonight. I know that wasn’t fun. But we never meant to hurt you. What you’re doing right now... you’re trying to hurt me and confuse me on purpose. So if you don’t walk out of here in the next thirty seconds I’m gonna kick your ass. And the problem with that is my wonderful, passionate, will-do-anything-for-me boyfriend here, will also have to kick your ass. And seeing as I don’t think any of us really want that, I’m gonna need you to drag yourself out of here.” My voice got louder and firmer with every word.

I got a little satisfaction out of the shock on his face. Not a lot—that wouldn’t have been very nice of me—but I did get some.

He looked at Jake then he turned to me. “Good luck. I hope you found what you were looking for.”

And then he was gone and Jake was dragging me away from the party.

The minute we were in the hallway he released my arm. He stood over me, his size so much larger than mine I felt the difference. “Don’t do it, Eve. I know this whole night has been one giant mind fuck, but don’t do it.” I didn’t miss the warning tone to his voice.

“Don’t do what, exactly?”

He looked me square in the eye with his jaw thrust out. He was breathing hard. “Don’t shut down, don’t get lost inside your head with all those thoughts and questions. It seems like a lot, but it isn’t babe. It isn’t.”

“How is this,” I waved my hands frantically around, “not a lot?”

He grabbed me. “Do you love me? That is all you need to know. Everything else is just bullshit.”

But I wasn’t so sure. I wanted love to be that simple, but I’d already seen how not simple it really was. My hopes, Jake’s dreams, our confidence and personalities—all of it was tied to that love. And there was nothing simple about that.

I needed to think. I needed fresh air and quiet. I needed to be by myself for a while.

Jake must have seen the look in my eye, the need to flee, because his went wide. “No. You are not leaving me right now. We are talking. We are talking through this together.” He was in a full panic and his grip on my arms only tightened.

“Let me go, Jake.” I said softly. I was really surprised by how eerily calm I sounded.

“Not if you are going to walk away from me.”

“You can’t keep me here, babe. And I know you well enough to know that you wouldn’t want to keep me here against my will.”

The look of pain that crossed his face very nearly stopped me right there. I was hurting him. I knew this in the back of my mind somewhere. I knew he was terrified he was losing me. But I couldn’t stop. I knew what I needed right then... and it wasn’t Jake. If I couldn’t clear my head and find a way through all the thoughts swirling through my mind on my own, I was going to go mad.

It was something I needed to work through by myself.

“Jake, let me go.” I repeated and this time he complied.

I reached up and stroked his cheek. “I love you.” I kissed him softly on the lips, looking deeply into his eyes.

Then I turned and left.

I didn’t look back. I knew if I did I’d see how much I’d just hurt Jake, and that was something I couldn’t handle.

23

I don’t know what brought me there, it wasn’t the smartest thing I’d ever done, that was for sure. But somehow after I left Jake, my feet took on a mind of their own. The next thing I knew I was in my car and headed out toward a part of town I hadn’t dared step into for a very, very long time.

The streets were just a bit narrower, the houses crammed together with barely any yard between. The Vernacular homes were shotgun style: a front porch with columns and the house laid out in a row of rooms from front to back. These neighborhoods were older, rougher, and the languages spoken varied wildly.

This was where Jake grew up.

My Nissan GT-R stood out like a sore thumb and I knew the minute I pulled up outside their house they’d know it was me. I didn’t know why I was there. Even as I pulled down his street, I was still wondering what I thought I was going to find.

There were no answers here.

And yet, I stopped outside their house anyway.

I fumbled around in my glove box for one of my cans of pepper spray. Not the pretty pink can that came in a leather case, but the nice one that came in a slick black design made to be worn on your belt. It had two high-powered shots inside.

My feet were in charge—my brain having taken a vacation—and I was out of the car, leaning against the passenger side as I gazed up at the house.

Jake’s childhood home needed a paint job, but it was neat and tidy. Plants and flowers were growing from pots lined up on the porch above and below. There were even a few rusty tools lain out as lawn ornaments. The front was presentable; it always had been, just like Jake’s family.

It was a façade. A fake front put on to make it seem like they fit in, like they were good enough. But once you went past the front room everything changed. The rest of the house was a cluttered mess that bordered on hoarding. The backyard was stuffed with junk, overgrown and disgusting. And the people who lived inside were angry and spiteful at the world. They wouldn’t know a good deed if it saved their lives.

Jake said his parents were out of the picture, that he wanted nothing to do with them ever again. I was so close to my family I found it difficult to fathom cutting the people who raised me out of my life. How did you do that? What did that look like? Would Jake simply block out his childhood all together or choose to only remember key moments? What if he was wrong and hadn’t moved past all of this, but was instead just wishing he had?

I needed to know the foundation Jake and I were standing on was strong.

I wanted to believe life would be easy once Jake and I trusted each other, but I was realizing life would never be easy. There would always be something else. If we were going to have a life together, if Jake and I were going to rely on each other, I needed to know we were strong enough to handle anything life could throw at us.

Whether it was my insecurities or Jake’s demons. Whether it was accidents or tragedies—life was going to keep throwing us curve balls. Jake said he knew his past was behind him, that his father couldn’t ever hurt him again.

But I didn’t know that.

Everything that had ever hurt Jake was inside that house and I needed to know it couldn’t come back to haunt us.

Just as I predicted, the front door opened and Jake’s mother walked out. I didn’t need to announce my arrival any more than pulling up out front. And of course the asshole inside sent his wife out to do the dirty work for him.

Always had.

“What are you doing here?” she hissed.

She never did have any manners, but at least we weren’t wasting any time either. “I see we’re skipping right past the pleasantries and going straight for get off my porch.”

She stood at the top of the stairs, her hair up in some sort of messy bun, her face as contorted and wrinkled as I remembered, and she was wearing a housecoat. She looked as hard as the life she’d led. “Well now that you mention it, would you?”

I remained casually leaned up against my car. “I’m on the curb. I haven’t stepped one foot on your porch. This is public property out here and you can’t make me leave.”

She stood and stared at me for a minute. I was pretty sure she was trying to figure out how to get rid of me as fast as she could, but her curiosity was killing her. She wanted to know why I was there dressed up and staring at her house.

“It’s been a long time since you were here.”

“Yes it has.”

She stepped down to the bottom step, bringing her close enough that she didn’t have to shout at me. “Have you heard from him?”

At first the shaky sound of her voice made my heart ache for the mother who had lost her son, but then I remembered everything she’d done to him and everything she’d allowed to happen to him. She hadn’t lost Jake; she’d run him away.

“Yes.”

She straightened and her hand moved to her chest. “How is he?”

“Amazing, no thanks to you.”

Her chin lifted in defiance. “You always did think you were better than us.”

“I am better than you, Lydia. And it has nothing to do with money.”

Her eyes lit up and she walked all the way up to the chain-link fence separating her property from the street. “Jake needed a firm hand. That boy was wild. If we hadn’t done what we did he would have been out of control. We did what we had to do.”

I laughed and looked up at the night sky. There were a few dots twinkling above us, but most were blotted out by the city lights and a sea of clouds rolling in from the bay. “You really believe that, don’t you? Did you talk yourself into that crap or did your useless husband do that for you?”

“You are a self-righteous bitch.”

I finally took a step away from the car, my arms folded over my chest with the pepper spray tucked out of sight. “He is a wonderful man with a great soul and the two of you tried to beat it out of him. You tried to turn him into a useless angry piece of shit. But you know what? It didn’t work. He was always better than you—smarter, sweeter, and with a good heart. He got into college despite you because he was so smart. And the day he set foot on that campus, away from you, was the day you finally lost him. Once he saw a world outside of this hell, he knew he could claw his way free.”

She laughed at me this time, the kind that made my blood run cold. “You’re still in love with him, aren’t you? Oh, baby girl that makes me sad. You’ve waited all this time for a man who’ll never love you back. He can’t. You know why? Because he’s his father’s son. If you stick around long enough, you’ll see him crack just like his daddy.” She smiled, but it wasn’t because she was happy. This woman had been ruined by a life she’d never had the courage to take control of. “He’ll hit you and hurt you. He’ll break your heart a thousand times. But you’ll never leave him because he’s your world. He’s your everything.”

Damn, she was good. She knew my weaknesses as well as I did, and she’d hit them all. Were they lucky guesses or were we really that similar? If Jake hadn’t left, would we have turned into his parents? Would I have stayed at his side no matter what and let him hit me? Would I have let him strip away everything good?

I didn’t think I would have. I was mesmerized by him and had been madly in love with him, but I couldn’t imagine a world where I became Lydia or Jake became his father.

“You’re not entirely wrong.” I gave her a small victory, hoping it would give me some ground to work with. “He is my everything. And I do still love him. But you are wrong about the rest. If he was just like your husband then he never would have left in the first place. He would have stayed here and let you control him. He is different.” Jake would never, ever hurt me the way Jake Sr. hurt you. I knew that in every fiber of my being.

The front door swung open again and my eyes fell on the dark shadow of Jake Sr. He was visibly older than the last time I saw him. His hair was graying and balding on top. His eyes were piercing and harsh, but his body was the biggest change. He was slighter, stooped, and unsure. Years of alcohol, drugs, and cigarettes were taking their toll and I had to wonder just how badly diseased and damaged he was.

Jake Sr. was a shadow of his former self.

“Get out of here.” His voice hadn’t changed in the slightest. It still sent a shiver of warning down my spine. He had the kind of voice that made you want to run, it sounded like pure evil.

“She’s seen Jake.” Lydia rasped over her shoulder, never taking her eyes off me.

“I’m sure that bitch has. Now that our boy went and got himself a shitload of money I bet she made sure to track him down and use him some more. What, Eve? You didn’t get enough sex out of him in college? You didn’t put enough delusions of grandeur in his head? Now that he’s gone and done what you wanted, you looking for more?”

“I never made Jake anything he wasn’t.” I was surprised by how sure I sounded. Inside I was losing it. I wanted to rip Jake’s parents in two.

Jake Sr. laughed, walking down the steps to join his wife. “What are you doing here, Eve? Did you come to flaunt your fancy car and designer dress? Haven’t you gotten your kicks in for the day? Decided to go hit up some poor people and make them look at you? You always were an attention whore.” He shook his head and spit into the grass.

Why did I come here? I hated these people. I hated everything they’d ever done. I didn’t want to stir the pot or cause any trouble, but I thought I needed to get back to the source. There were questions Jake and I couldn’t seem to answer and since all our troubles seemed to start and end here, this house seemed a logical place to look.

“Do you regret what happened graduation night?” I asked.

The crackle of thunder and the deep roll of bass that followed caught our attention and I turned my head to look toward the bay. Lightning was streaking through the clouds. A late thunderstorm was brewing.

When I turned back, Jake Sr. was outside the gate. I could reach out and touch him. Even in his diminished state he made my blood run cold and my skin prickle. I wasn’t sure how he had moved so fast. “You mean when I tried to bring Jake back down where he belonged?”

“He doesn’t belong here. He’s meant for more.”

Jake Sr. just shook his head. “You’ll never understand.”

I stared at him, desperately trying to figure out what he meant, but I felt like we were speaking two different languages and we’d never, ever understand each other.

“Try me.”

“You’d put a lot of ideas in his head. Filled it with all kinds of nonsense about seeing the world, having powerful jobs, and being happy. But you see, I know different. Life is hard, Eve. Especially for those of us who don’t have money to fix our problems. We have to rely on ourselves, and my son was forgetting that. What good was it going to do him to walk out into your world and get crushed?”

“You know, I think you actually believe yourself. I think you’ve sold yourself that line of bullshit so many times you’ve forgotten it’s a bunch of crap.”

Jake Sr. just stared at me, his clouded eyes barely keeping track of me. It was late and he was drunk.

“Here’s what I think really happened that night. You saw how great he was. You saw how smart he was. You knew he was going to be everything that you never were. People were going to respect him and want to be him. You saw how much power your useless son was about to have and you got jealous. You couldn’t let him be better than you. So you lost it. You went nuts and you tried to put Jake back in the hole you’d forced him to live in his whole life. Only it didn’t work out so well for you. Jake had grown up and gotten a backbone. He fought back. But instead of letting that ruin him, instead of becoming you, he left. He learned and he grew. And he became all of those things you were so afraid of him being.”

Jake Sr. stared at me for a long minute, he didn’t move or say anything. I wasn’t even sure he was breathing. Until suddenly he spoke. “You need to leave. I have respected my son’s wishes, but a man can only be pushed so far before he is forced to take matters back into his own hands.” He lunged toward me, not to touch me, just to scare me.

I flinched, which was the worst possible thing to do in front of a man like Jake Sr. Men like him thrived on intimidation. They got their power and sense of confidence by taking it from others. He smiled and leaned in closer. “I must say, my son did have good taste, though.”

He reached out and grabbed my arm just as a car came peeling down the street. Jake Sr. jumped back in surprise and I showed him my pepper spray. “Do not ever touch me again.”

His eyes flicked from the spray to the car that squealed to a stop behind mine. I recognized it immediately: it was Greg’s bright red Porsche.

The passenger door flew open and Jake unfolded himself, stepping out onto the sidewalk. I didn’t know how he’d found me, but he was clearly pissed on a level I couldn’t comprehend.

Jake Sr. barely had time to sneer before Jake landed the first punch, knocking his father backward into the fence. “Get in the car, Eve.” He pointed at my car. Then he turned back to his father, “Do not touch Eve ever again. You do and I’ll kill you. Period.”

Everything about Jake was pure rolling masculine energy. He was mad, but that wasn’t the predominant emotion coming from him. He was in full protection mode. He was protecting me.

Greg walked around to close Jake’s door and he looked about as happy as the rest of us. He locked eyes with me and nodded reassuringly. “He’s got this,” he murmured. For some reason Greg’s quiet confidence in Jake made me feel a sense of relief. Greg knew this side of Jake better than I did and he was the one who had driven Jake here. If he thought Jake was fine, then he was fine.

I turned and grabbed the passenger door handle, hoping like hell Jake was planning on driving us out of here. There wasn’t a chance I was leaving him here no matter what Greg thought.

“Jake...” Lydia moaned. “Can’t you do anything right?”

“No, apparently I can’t Mother. I’m pretty sure I will never make you happy.”

Lydia stared at her son.

Jake Sr. stood all the way up. “Your girlfriend has already said all that needed saying. You can take all your fancy cars and leave us be.”

Jake shook his head and rubbed his face. He looked so different standing here in front of this house all these years later. The boy I’d come to pick up here never looked right. He always looked just a little off, his eyes always a little closed and sad, his body always hunched against the world. The man standing in front of me now was tall and strong, he looked damn good in the tux he was wearing, and he smiled all the time.

“We’re done. After we leave, we’re done. I want you to forget you ever had a son and I will forget you were ever my parents.”

“She’s not your blood,” Jake Sr. said cocking his head toward me.

“That’s where you’re wrong. She’s more family to me than you ever were.”

He and his father stared at each other while the thunder rolled across the sky. “Goodbye,” he said simply, shaking his head and turning toward me. He scowled the moment he saw I wasn’t in the car. “Get in the car, now.”

I nodded and sat back, pulling the door closed once I saw Jake move around the back of the car. Only when he was safely inside with me did I dare to take a breath. Jake Sr. glared at us and I could feel the hate through the darkly tinted windows.

The throaty engine flared to life and Jake revved the engine before peeling away.

I didn’t dare say a word until we were back on the highway. Jake was silent as he shifted hard through the gears and wove down the interstate. He was so tense every move he made was precise and measured.

“How did you know where I was?”

“Private investigator called me the minute you pulled up.”

Oh, right. He had his father under constant surveillance. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to come down there.”

He didn’t reply. He was brooding.

We exited the highway and shot down the quiet streets toward my house.

“Jake...”

He shook his head. “No. I can’t, not right now.” He was vibrating with tension. Jake was pissed. I just didn’t know for which reason. At this point I’d racked up a nice little list.

Leaving when he needed to talk.

Leaving when I needed to talk and get out of my head.

Going to his parent’s house.

Or there was everything I said to his dad.

Of course he could also be pissed I’d accidentally forced him to see a man he never wanted to see again.

Yeah, I was on a fucking roll.

I sat back in my seat and quietly waited for him to take me home.

The black night turned into a wicked storm, but not the kind that actually rained like it did in the heart of summer. This was the kind that seemed to be everywhere—the wind and lightning lighting up the sky, surrounding everything as far as the eye could see—while not actually raining.

He didn’t kill the engine when we stopped outside my house. We sat there for a long time, his hands on the steering wheel, gripping and squeezing while mine were folded tightly in my lap.

“What the hell were you thinking?” he finally asked. His voice rough with emotion.

Ah, the question of the night. It may not have been my most brilliant move, but I had gotten what I needed, so there was something in that. “It all comes back to them.”

He closed his eyes. “You could have gotten hurt.”

I shook my head and reached out for the smooth skin of his cheek. He let me touch him, which was a good sign. “I wouldn’t have let that happen and I wouldn’t have gone there if I wasn’t sure I could keep myself safe.”

He opened his eyes and looked at me. “There are never any guarantees in that house, Eve. It was stupid to go there.”

I nodded, it didn’t matter how sure I was, he was right, too. When it came to people like his parents there were too many variables. “I’m sorry I worried you.”

He shook his head and took my hand, folding it between his two larger ones. “When I got that call I thought I was going to die. I made him repeat himself three times. ‘Eve is at your parent’s house’. It just didn’t compute. And then my heart stopped.” He reached up and cupped my face, his thumb stroking my cheek. “I have never been so scared in my life.”

How badly I wanted to protect this man from anything that might hurt him. And his protective need to save me from the same thing was clear on his face. The way his eyes looked wild and focused at the same time, the way his muscles were tight and ready for action, the shallow way he was breathing—it was all for me.

I reached out and ran the back of my fingers over his cheek, then dipped my finger into the space where his dimple would be. “Kiss me.”

His eyes lit up and his hands grabbed for my face, threading through my hair. He crushed his lips to mine. I ran my hands up his biceps, grabbing him at the shoulders. The next thing I knew, he was lifting me up and over the console and settling me on his lap. He didn’t say anything, just watched me with those burning green eyes of his, as he did his very best to make me feel good, to erase everything that was hurting us.

His fingers kept tangling in my hair, but it was nice. One minute he was gently stroking, the next tangling and tugging. His tongue plunged deep into my throat. We were kissing like animals, there was nothing gentle or teasing about anything we were doing. I bit his lip and his earlobe between kisses. My skirt went up and my top went down as I continued to grind against his firm erection. And then I was undoing his belt and fly, digging inside for my prize. With a little help he sprang free, then with one finger, Jake pulled my lacey panties to the side, and with the other tilted my chin so that I was looking right into his burning eyes.

I slowly rocked against him, taking him in inch by inch, until he was fully inside. He didn’t let go of my chin. When my eyes closed, he pulled down, forcing them back open again. He wanted to see me, wanted to know what I was feeling.

It was incredibly intense sex. Not fast and hard, but slow and deliberate. His thrusts were powerful and individual. With one hand on my hip and one on my chin, he had complete control of me, forcing me to keep my attention on him while gently coaxing me to do what he wanted by changing the pressure of his fingers against my skin.

His breathing was becoming ragged as he held back, waiting for my orgasm to come first. But that wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted to feel in control of something, and right now, that meant Jake’s pleasure. I took great pride in doing everything I knew he couldn’t resist, from the focus of my eyes on him, to the squeeze of my muscles, to my little moans of pleasure.

He lasted about thirty seconds.

The moment I felt the first pulse of release, I let go of my own, and we came together, grinding against each other, moaning and groaning, until finally we were done.

I rested my forehead on his shoulder and relaxed for the first time in hours.

“Well, I think I’m good for the night now,” Jake chuckled, maneuvering the top of my dress back over my breasts.

“I’m gonna need an hour in the shower,” I agreed. And not just to get clean. I needed to loosen up my poor muscles.

But in all seriousness, I wouldn’t have it any other way. The bottom line was that I loved the man I was straddling in the front seat of my car. I loved the way we were together, and how desperately we needed each other. And I loved how carefully he loved me in return.

Nothing about our relationship was a game. We were both painfully aware of how easily we could lose everything.

“Taking care of the one you love... that’s what you and I do,” I whispered, looking deep into his gorgeous green eyes. “Sometimes that means one of us is stronger. I lean on you when I’m weak and you take care of me. But I hold you up, too. It’s a give and take. I haven’t lost myself to you, not this time around. I love you so much and I will do anything to keep you safe and healthy, even if it means sacrificing a lot of myself in the process, but I’m not lost to you. I’m still me... and I think you’re still you.”

His thumbs stroked my cheeks and he kissed me. “Did you find the answers you were looking for?”

“Yes.” I was confident in that. There were no more lingering doubts. I wasn’t going to be second-guessing anything from our past. I knew everything I needed to know now.

He nodded back, “Okay then. Where do we go from here?”

I smiled because I knew exactly where we went from here, but I was still a little nervous about saying it. “You could move in with me.”

24

Jake had officially moved in with me after that night and kept his promise of a romantic vacation in the Bahamas. Our little plane had just taxied onto the runway and I was already feeling more relaxed.

Jake leaned over to look out the window and I caught sight of a gold chain tucked under his shirt.

I reached out to touch it but he caught my hand and pulled it up for a kiss. Jake wasn’t the kind to wear jewelry and he clearly didn’t want me to ask about it. I fingered the gold sun hanging from my own neck. Jake had worn that, maybe he did wear jewelry—at least when it meant something to him.

Maybe it was another one of his mysterious projects. He’d been working on a few more demons from his past in light of what happened the night of the party. He’d gone to some therapy sessions, worked in his workshop, and finally opened a box of mementos his mother had sent him many years ago.

That had been an interesting night. His mother had a twisted sense of history. We’d thrown most of it out and fucked the pain away for the rest of the night.

But overall, things had been fantastic. Jake paid off the rest of his lease and officially moved his things into my house. We redecorated the bedroom, but decided to keep the bed. We liked that big, sturdy bed. He’d also taken over Jennie’s old room as his home office.

And as for me, I’d finally let go of everything I’d been afraid of. Fear was my enemy and it was holding me back. I think I’d come to find a little fear was healthy, but too much paralyzed me. I never wanted to be paralyzed again.

So I’d started looking forward to the future, wondering where it was taking us. Jake’s company was growing by leaps and bounds and my job was as secure as they come. We were happy in our house and with our friends. We’d started making lists. Our travel list looked a little different than the one we made in college, but I was looking forward to it just the same. It felt like the world was at our feet.

But I’d been wrong that night in the car when I thought all of our major hurdles had been crossed. There was one more. One we couldn’t prepare for and there was no way to predict how things would go. All we could do was suck it up, find our courage, and plunge into the deep end.

If Jake had been nervous, he’d never let it show.

I, on the other hand, had been a mess.

It was just all too familiar. Driving up my parent’s driveway in the Orange Beast, I felt like I was a teenager bringing her boyfriend home.

They’d been kind to us, at least. When we got there it was just June home for the weekend and my mom busy in her art studio. Dad was nowhere to be found. So while June and Jake goofed off, I went in search of my father.

I was frantic to find him at that point because I just wanted to get it all over with. This discord between the man I loved, and the family I loved, was driving me crazy.

I found him in his “man room.”

I should point out that it was raining outside. Monsoon raining. It had started about five minutes after we arrived and looked like it wouldn’t be stopping until sometime the next day.

This is important in understanding what I found when I walked in to the man room.

I found my dad standing on his pool table.

My dad loved his pool table and the last place I would have ever expected to find him was standing on his precious pool table.

And not only that, but there were golf balls (not pool balls) on the green surface, a putter in his hand, a pipe hanging from his lip, and a mostly empty glass of scotch on the corner.

“What are you doing?” I asked incredulously. Maybe retirement was making him into one of those crazy, eccentric, old men I’d heard about. Not that he was an old man yet.

He glanced up from his ball and grinned at me, speaking through his teeth with the pipe firmly lodged in place, “Daughter! You made it before the rain, good.”

“What are you doing?” I asked slowly, closing the door and leaning against the frame.

“Putting,” he replied like I was the crazy one.

“On the pool table?”

“It’s going to rain all afternoon. What else am I supposed to do?”

“Not putt on the pool table?”

He scoffed, “Losers say crap like that. Speaking of losers...”

“Don’t start Dad. I am not in charge of the players.”

He pulled out his pipe and started waving it around as he spoke. “No, I’m talking about your boss. You tell Josh to stop sending me all those damn emails. Do I look like someone you email? Tell his ass—” Dad hopped down and walked toward me. “Quote me, tell him this exactly, Pick up the damn phone and call me like a real human being. If he emails me again I’m driving up there just to beat him up with his laptop.”

“Dad.”

He shrugged his wide shoulders, still strong even years after leaving the field. He had a baseball player’s body through and through. “What? Quote me, Eve. I mean it.”

I shook my head and rolled my eyes. He was an old fashioned guy from another era. And worse yet, he didn’t have to keep up with electronics, so he didn’t.

“Are you going to be difficult the whole weekend?”

He locked eyes with me. He was holding his breath. He was really struggling with his feelings toward Jake. I understood it intellectually, I was his daughter and Jake had hurt me. It was his job to make sure that didn’t happen again.

It was hard because we all loved Jake. It was hard to separate out all the things we were feeling.

“No. I just want you to be happy.”

I forced a smile onto my face. We talked for a few minutes, moving to his big, comfy, brown leather couch. He picked my brain about the team, I asked him about Mom. Dad and I had always been closer. I think it was because our personalities were similar. It didn’t take many words to say what needed saying and we were both just fine with silence when we were done.

The door opened and Jake strode in. He really did look a little like a kid again: eyes bright, energy high as he crossed the room looking to shake my dad’s hand.

“Mr. Daniels, it is good to see you again, thank you for allowing me to visit this weekend.”

My dad rolled his eyes and shook his hand. “Fine, you were right, Eve. I can’t keep this up all weekend.” He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Jake. “I’m gonna go ahead and get it all out right now if that’s all right with you?”

Jake slid his hands into his shorts pockets and nodded. “Give it to me.”

Dad nodded. “You hurt her again, I’ll kill you myself. I won’t ask questions, I won’t see straight. I’m just gonna kill you, dump your body in the gulf, and pretend you never existed. We clear?”

Jake nodded slowly, but before he could reply, Dad went on. “You need help, you ask for it. We’re your family, and we take care of our own. That includes you.”

Jake froze and a little color drained out of his face. I think he was a little shocked to hear a statement that bold from my father, of all people. “Yes, sir,” he said quietly.

My dad rolled his eyes again and sighed, “Stop that ‘sir’ crap, too. It’s Joe.”

Jake nodded again. “All right, Joe.”

“Scotch?”

Jake chuckled and followed my dad to the bar. “Sounds good to me.” Then he turned and winked at me. That was when I knew for sure things were going to be fine between Jake and my father.

And now we were on vacation with everything right in our world. It felt so good I was a little afraid to enjoy it. But then again, we’d worked pretty hard to get where we were. So I decided to throw caution to the wind and just enjoy every second of my time with Jake.

The taxi ride across the island was bumpy and I enjoyed snuggling into Jake for comfort. We were only an hour’s plane flight away from home and yet everything felt different. The tropical air had a different scent, it was more floral, less citrus. And the people vibrated at a different frequency. Their speech was staccato, fast and loud. Everything seemed to move at that higher frequency.

Our hotel, the British Colonial Hilton, was the same one we’d stayed at last time. It was a little quieter and a bit more romantic than the colossal Atlantis we looked at across the water. We’d stayed there in the past, too. It was fun there, always something new to do.

But we were here to relax.

Mostly, anyway. There was a snorkeling expedition, or two, or three...

But the rest of the time we relaxed on the beach, letting wandering waiters bring us delicious cocktails and hamburgers. Jake took me back to the Graycliff and we enjoyed a dinner on the porch. He bought a ridiculous number of cigars. He’d brought a small humidor with him just for that purchase.

And now we were back on the beach, our bellies full, our skin tan, and the moonlight reflecting off of everything around us.

I was starting to wonder if Jake’s suggestion we take our money and run off to live on an island was a brilliant idea. If this was my one life with Jake, I didn’t want to waste another second of it. Things like work and traffic seemed so pointless when there was sand between your toes.

He pulled me into his arms, my eyes catching on that gold chain again. He never wore it when we were swimming or on the beach. And he always seemed to have it tucked away out of sight. I didn’t even know where he was hiding it in the hotel room.

“Darlin’, I’m so glad we’re back here. This trip has been amazing.” His lips brushed against mine and his kisses took my breath away. It didn’t seem possible he could still make me weak in the knees, but he did.

“I don’t want to leave,” I confessed.

He smiled his wicked smile. “We don’t have to, you know. Offer still stands to find us a nice little house on a nice little island. We could raise some adorable water babies, have a lot of sex on the beach...”

I laughed and shook my head. “You’re such a cocky bastard.” It always came back to sex with Jake.

But he stopped joking, suddenly becoming very serious. So serious I stopped.

I couldn’t breathe when he looked at me like that.

Then, while looking deep into my eyes he whispered, “Marry me.”

I felt those two little words in every molecule of my body.

Marry me.

He pulled me closer, his arms wrapped tightly around me. “Will you do me the honor of being my wife? I want to give you everything I have. All of me is already yours forever, you know that, but I want to give you my name.” His beautiful eyes sparkled with so much promise. “I want us to officially be a family, you and me, forever.”

His name.

It was one of those moments where the world around us just stopped. For a few minutes nothing mattered but Jake and there was nothing I wanted more than to be his wife. “Oh, yes...” I whispered.

He smiled, looking at me ever so mischievously, and reached into his shirt for the gold chain.

On it was a ring.

He’d been wearing an engagement ring our entire fucking vacation.

“You had that this whole time? What have you been waiting for?” My voice was so high it didn’t sound like me.

He bounced his eyebrows and his dimple showed up as his grin widened.

“The perfect moment.”

“Why is this the perfect moment?” I asked wondering what hadn’t been so perfect about just about any other second of every day since we got here.

Why had he been holding out on me?

He slid the chain over his head, unclasping it and sliding the ring down until it fell into the palm of his hand. “Sometimes, my love, waiting is worth it.” He shoved the chain into his pants pocket and took my left hand in his. “Ten years ago I wasn’t ready to be the man you deserved. I was a fool but I couldn’t help falling in love with you. I will never be able to tell you how much I appreciate that you waited for me. And what we have now...” He shook his head and his eyes were bright. “The future we can build from here is so much more than it ever would have been. Sometimes,” he got down on one knee, “waiting is so, so worth it.”

He looked up at me and his eyes were shining, but his smile was wicked. He was the most handsome man I’d ever seen. It reminded me so much of the night I fell in love with him.

Maybe it was always that smile of his. I think it might be how I always think of Jake: wicked and sure, with a dimple put there just for me. He was exciting and safe and he was all mine.

“Eve Maria Daniels. Will you marry me?”

He slid the ring onto my finger. It fit perfectly. The diamond glinted back at me in the moonlight, set in a beautiful antique gold filigree. I stared at the ring on my finger and all that it meant. Finally, after all of these years, Jake and I were going to get married.

We were going to be husband and wife.

“Yes...” I whispered because that was all I could do. I didn’t want to be a crier, but really, this was too special not to. I let the stupid tears do their thing.

Jake closed his eyes and squeezed my hand, pulling it to his lips. He tenderly kissed it, sending a shiver up my arm. Then he stood and pulled me into one of the dirtiest kisses I could ever remember. His tongue reached places I didn’t know he could go and still feel good. His hands roamed, eventually finding their way up to my hair. And when I didn’t think I could kiss him another moment without passing out, Jake pulled back and pressed our foreheads together.

“Damn, I love you.”

“I love you, too,” I replied. The crying was done, I was grinning like a fool now.

Then he scooped me up. I squealed and he carried me back up to the hotel. In the lobby he waved over the concierge. “She said yes!”

The man nodded quickly, clapping his hands and ordering someone off toward who knew where. Obviously Jake had set up a plan for my positive response. The concierge ran to the elevator, pressing the button for us and holding the doors when they slid open. “Congratulations! Congratulations Mr. and soon-to-be Mrs. Spencer. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

“Mrs. Spencer,” he whispered in my ear. It sent another one of those delicious shivers down my spine and straight between my legs. I knew what we were going to do once we got to our room and by the look in my fiancé’s eyes, it was going to be wild and fun.

“I can’t wait, Mr. Spencer. Can we have a fast wedding?”

He snorted, “Whatever Mrs. Spencer wants, Mrs. Spencer gets.”

“Then let’s elope. Let’s go straight to Vegas.”

Jake shook his head. “Nope. You may have fast, but not that fast. Mrs. Spencer is going to have a ridiculous wedding. You will wear a hot and expensive white dress, I will wear a fantastic tux, your sisters will stand by your side, your dad will walk you down the aisle, and we will eat a ridiculous amount of food before we dance until our feet fall off. Then I’m taking you on the honeymoon of your dreams and I’ll fuck you in every way possible. I can’t compromise on any of the above, darlin’. I’m sorry.”

I was giggling uncontrollably by the time he was done. He was adorable in the best way possible. I was having a wedding. I was marrying Jake. And we were both happy.

The elevator door slid open and Jake took me to our door, which was open and waiting. A bellman was inside with a cart. A bucket with a bottle of champagne was on top.

Jake laid me out on the bed and I heard our door shut. My fiancé started to undress. His eyes were heated and locked onto mine as he slowly worked his way down the buttons.

“I get to call you my fiancée now. Much better than girlfriend, I hate that word.” He wrinkled up his nose as he undid his cuffs.

“I’m yours now, what are you going to do to me?” I grinned with delight.

He tossed his shirt onto the chair and I took in all his muscular deliciousness. “I’m going to make you scream my name.” He smiled and popped the cork, pouring two glasses.

The matter of fact way he just said that mixed with the very sexual pop of the cork and filling of the glasses... I trembled with anticipation.

Jake slid his hand all the way up my leg, pulling my dress up along with it. “You have some damn fine legs, Eve. I’d like to see them wrapped around me in about sixty seconds.”

My breath caught as I pictured my bare legs wrapped around Jake’s tight waist. “I think I could be okay with that.”

He handed me my glass. “Drink up, I’ll also need to see your breasts smashed up against my chest.”

The very thought of my body pressed up against his with my breasts the only thing keeping our bodies apart made me shiver. I was wet. I knew I was because I could feel the throbbing. My body wanted what he was promising.

His eyes heated as he watched me heaving. “Are you done?”

I gulped down another sip and shoved my glass back at him. “I’ll finish it later,” I breathed.

His eyebrows danced as he set both half-empty glasses down on the tray. Then his hand wandered up my leg again, but this time he didn’t stop. He wandered all the way until his finger was inside me. His touch only made me want more.

After a moment of teasing he eased back out and stood, removing his pants, and watching me intently the whole time. By the time his cock sprang free, I was naked and waiting.

He slowly lowered his warm and heavy body onto mine. “Are you ready for this, Eve?” he asked, his voice rough and deep and full of double meanings.

I ran my hands along his jaw and up into his hair. “I’ve never been more ready than I am right now.”

REFLECTED IN THE RAIN

Copyright © 2014 by Alexis Sykes

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Vellum flower icon Created with Vellum

To my family…

For dragging me out of hiding, standing behind me, and teaching me every single day what love looks like.

1

EVE

“You are not wearing that,” I stated flatly, shaking my head and putting my fists on my naked hips.

Jake’s eyebrows shot up in surprise as he stepped out of our closet. “And what exactly do you suggest I wear instead?”

I thought about it for a moment before blurting out the only thing that came to mind. “An orange prison jumpsuit.”

He burst out laughing and snuck his arm around my waist, kissing my neck up and down while he ground his hips against mine. He wasn’t wearing anything special—just my favorite dark wash blue jeans and my favorite tight black t-shirt that showed off his tan skin, green eyes, and that fantastic body of his. He looked hot and I knew every single woman who saw him all night long was going to see the same thing. When he added in that casual nonchalance he had about life, Jake was irresistible.

For some reason, I could just picture Greg taking him to a strip club and getting a private room. I could see Jake all casually sitting in a booth with one leg propped up on his knee and his long arm resting along the back of the booth. I could see that bored, uninterested stare.

“Darlin’, you have nothing to worry about.” His lips kissed the spot behind my ear that made my knees weak and I gasped as I was suddenly, completely, turned on.

“Want a quick present before you leave?” I gasped as his hand palmed my ass and jerked my body against his.

He pulled back just enough to look down into my eyes. “Maybe. But only if it’s because you’re horny.”

I squirmed under his intense gaze. “It’s not you, Jake. I promise. It’s this ritual. It just seems so silly…” I was well aware I was being jealous and irrational. I mean seriously, the man came back for me after ten years. Of course he was mine, every bit as much as I was his. I knew Jake had eyes only for me—it was actually one of the few things I believed in without question. But that didn’t stop me from feeling jealous when he looked like that.

He laughed and pulled me onto the corner of the bed beside him. “Babe.” His green eyes searched all of mine. He didn’t need to say anything else but I appreciated the way his hands wove up into my hair and the intense way his eyes were making love to me. It almost pushed away the feelings of jealousy.

Almost.

“Have fun tonight. Just not too much fun,” I grumbled.

Jake kissed the tip of my nose and then my mouth—we made out like teenagers for a minute before he pulled away gasping. “Fuck, Eve. Only you…” I knew exactly what he meant. How could just kissing be so much fun? “Go get dressed, woman.”

I hopped up and curtsied playfully. “Yes, sir.”

My hair and makeup were already done. I even had on my jewelry. I just needed to slip into my dress. But it wasn’t until I looked into the mirror that I realized how sexy the dress was. It didn’t seem that way on the rack yesterday, it almost looked classy. Black and shiny, but skin tight. With our crazy schedules I didn’t have time to try it on until now… turns out “black, shiny, and skin tight” was also very low cut and hit all my curves in just the right ways that my breasts looked bigger and hips looked sexier than normal.

My hair was down in long, loose waves and my makeup was dark and seductive. I looked good. I just wished it was Jake and I going out together like this so we could actually enjoy being dressed up.

As I stepped out of the bathroom, Jake’s eyes widened and his jaw flexed. “Nope. Not happening.” He pointed at the closet. “Pick out something else.”

I popped out my hip and tossed my hair over my shoulder. “And what exactly do you suggest I wear instead?” I was mocking him and Jake didn’t find it nearly as amusing as I did.

He glared at me and his nostrils flared. “Do not go there. I do not look like you!”

I laughed. “You’re kidding right? This,” I waved my hands from my head to my knees, “is exactly like that.” I did the same thing to his outfit. “A sexy black dress is the male equivalent of what you are wearing, Jake.”

He opened his mouth to argue, then stopped. “Really?”

I nodded and drank in the sight of him again. He’d added a shiny silver watch to his wrist and black shoes. Hot didn’t even begin to describe him.

“Well, fuck! What do we do now? Because you are not going out like that. Not without me on your arm. Or wrapped around you. Fuck.”

I sauntered across the room, wiggling my hips and breasts as I walked. “I have a proposition for you.”

He raised an eyebrow and followed me with his eyes. He was trying to look angry and skeptical, but it wasn’t working. I could see he was both intrigued and turned on.

“We have,” I grabbed his wrist and held up his watch so I could read it, “thirty minutes until our rides arrive. I will let you strip me out of this dress if you let me peel you out of your clothes and wrap my mouth around your cock.”

He was breathing harder now as his eyes wandered over my breasts. “And we both pick out new outfits?”

I nodded, sliding my fingers under his shirt and against his warm skin. “Deal?”

He didn’t answer me right away. Instead he kept staring at me with a faraway look. I was starting to wonder if he was going to answer me when his eyes darted up to mine. “Tonight doesn’t mean anything. And our wedding is only a formality, you know that right?” His hand tightened on my hip and his gaze sharpened. “There is no one else for me but you. I’m already married to you in my mind.”

“I know,” I whispered, taking his face in my hands. He had a little bit of stubble and it was rough against my palm. I wanted to feel the bite of that stubble between my thighs. “You know I feel the same way, right?” Sometimes, in the midst of my own happiness, I forgot that inside Jake there were still some past insecurities that occasionally bubbled to the surface.

He nodded slowly, but I felt like my words somehow fell short. “I could get ‘Property of Jake’ tattooed somewhere,” I offered dramatically.

He rolled his eyes and licked his lips, his eyes zeroing in on mine for a kiss. “Don’t be ridiculous,” he murmured before kissing me so softly it took my breath away. He kissed me again and again, taking more of my breath with him each time. “Let’s have some fun before the cavalry arrives and pulls us apart.”

“Deal,” I whispered as I tugged at the hem of his shirt and he let me slide it over his head. He didn’t fight me when I moved to the button of his jeans. He just watched me, silently and intently.

I slid his pants and boxers down enough to release my prize—his mostly erect and perfectly gorgeous cock. I wanted to pleasure him in a way I knew he liked and make him feel good.

As I knelt down and wrapped my hand around the base of his cock, Jake brushed my hair back from my face, running his fingers against my scalp. When I looked up at him, his eyes were deep and dark, but soft.

I took it as a good sign and I smiled mischievously (the way he liked so much) and licked up his length in one long movement. Jake could barely keep his eyes open. As I wrapped my lips around him, sliding down as far as I could, my lips meeting my hand, I swirled my tongue and slowly eased back to his tip.

I paid special attention to the head of his cock until his fingers tightened in my hair. It was his sign he was ready for more, which I gave him. More than usual, actually. I don’t know what came over me. Maybe it was all the weird emotions floating around us, or maybe I was just being the possessive girlfriend. Whatever it was, I was a bit more wild than normal, taking him deeper into my throat than I typically found comfortable, and moving with an enthusiasm I usually reserved for special occasions, like this.

Jake seemed to like it. A lot. He was moaning and grunting, sucking air in through his teeth as his hands massaged my scalp. I knew he was close by the strain of his jaw and flex of his forearms, so I reached up to cup his balls at the exact same moment I moaned. His eyes shot open, looking right into mine, and he came hard. I was a little shocked by how hard he came. I guess we were both feeling a lot.

As he panted and swallowed, he ran his hands through my hair one last time, and then bent forward to rest his forehead on the top of my head. “Goddamnit, Eve. I’m not going to be able to stand tonight.” He was still gasping for air.

I smiled, “Good.”

“You are evil.”

I didn’t act like a jealous girlfriend very often so I was going to give myself some latitude for one night. “Now, what do you want me to wear? A clown suit? Perhaps a snowsuit?”

He chuckled and tilted my head up for a kiss. “But it’s your turn, babe. Get your ass up here so I can enjoy taking this dress off you.”

The minute I was on my feet, Jake slid his hands up the back of my thighs under my skirt. “Damn woman, there’s barely anything between you and this dress.”

“We only have fifteen minutes… you better hurry or your won’t have enough time.”

Jake scoffed at me and stood up. “I don’t need fifteen minutes, darlin’. Trust me.”

Oh my. Jake was in a much better mood. He moved around behind me, pushing my hair over my right shoulder and tipping my head to the side. His hands ran up my arms and over my shoulders. “The view from here is spectacular. This is a damn fine dress, Eve.”

I leaned back against his shoulder and let him peel one sleeve down my arm, popping out my naked breast. “I love that you never wear a bra.”

“I know…” I breathed as he cupped me in his palm. It was warm and felt so nice.

Jake wrapped his other arm around my chest and held me against him so I could keep my balance when he started to tease me. He rolled my exposed nipple between his fingers and I gasped because it felt so good. My panties were already damp, but now they were soaking as my body warmed and throbbed for more of everything. It always surprised me, I could be so satisfied, but the moment Jake went to work on my body, suddenly I needed more. It was like I could never get enough of him.

He moved my head to his other shoulder, “Just relax, darlin’,” he whispered in my ear. His left hand continued to work my nipple while his right hand caressed the fabric of my dress, looking for my other nipple. It instantly hardened under his touch and Jake ran his thumb back and forth until I was panting and writhing against him.

My body was hot and slick and so ready to combust it wasn’t even funny.

“See?” he whispered in my ear. His breath was hot against the sensitive skin of my ear and neck. It tickled in a good way and only turned me on more. “I know you. I know what you need and when you need it.”

He eased down the zipper on my dress and peeled it away from my skin. It slid away, onto the floor, leaving me in nothing but my utterly useless panties and Jake’s hands.

“You are so turned on you’re shaking, Eve.” He was breathing almost as hard as I was.

“Only you can do this to me,” I murmured.

He sucked in a deep breath and squeezed my body against him harder. “Fuck, Eve. If you only understood what you do to me.”

His left hand continued to work my left nipple while his right hand slid down my belly and between my legs, stopping to rub slow, magical circles around my clit. I bucked against him and moaned as I saw stars for a second. Then he moved down to my sex, his fingers swirling and dipping beneath my soaked panties.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me,” he gasped. “You are so turned on for me… I wish we had more time.” He slid first one, then two fingers inside me and I shuddered. “You stay right where you are until I’m done with you,” he growled as my body contracted around his fingers.

I adjusted my feet under me, pressing myself further into Jake’s chest, as he rolled my nipple in rhythm with his fingers inside me.

My undoing was the words he whispered in my ear. His lips were pressed high up on my neck as he said, “You are so beautiful, darling. I love you.”

Orgasms that powerful should be illegal.

2

JAKE

“Eve will be down in a minute,” I said as Jennie burst through the front door flushed and excited.

She looked me up and down and cocked an eyebrow. “You two are ridiculous.”

“How is that?” I asked. She couldn’t possibly know Eve’s delay was my fault. Even though it was.

She folded her arms over her chest and scoffed. “I’m willing to bet money those pink cheeks of yours are not from running down the stairs to meet me. Also, I’m not an idiot. You two are easier to predict than afternoon thunderstorms in summer.”

“Well, there could be worse things to be known for. Where’s Andrew?”

Jennie flitted around me in her skin-tight black pants and shimmering gold blouse, and into the kitchen just as Andrew stepped through the front door wearing jeans and a casual white button-up with the sleeves rolled to his elbows. “What’s up groom-to-be?” We shook hands and followed Jennie into the kitchen. She was already mixing herself a rum and coke. I knew she’d lived here for, well, forever, but it still felt weird every time she acted like she still lived here.

This was my house now. Not hers.

Aside from redecorating the bedroom and moving my office into Jennie’s old bedroom, nothing else in the house had changed. There was no obvious mark that screamed my name when I walked through the door. Jennie could go to any cabinet and find anything.

I was seriously considering rearranging the cabinets just to throw her for a loop.

“What’s going on?” Andrew asked as he watched her with about as much confusion as I was feeling.

I liked Andrew. We got along really well and even though he was a bit more uptight than I was used to, he was a good guy. Which was good since Eve and Jennie were practically one person.

“Eve and Jake were still doing it when we got here, so I’m making a drink.”

“Nice,” Andrew said, clapping me on the back.

“It is beyond me why any of you care about my sex life,” I muttered.

Jennie just giggled and Andrew leaned against the bar stool. “Dude, we all have sex. We’re glad you two are so happy, but sometimes we get tired of waiting around for you two.”

“Are we so bad that it is actually a thing?” I groaned.

Jennie snorted again as she tasted her drink. Andrew looked at me pointedly and nodded. “But I don’t blame you. If Jennie had a thing for public places and last minute sex, I’d be right there with you. But she has other preferences, shall we say?”

Jennie actually blushed. I didn’t think it was possible, but her cheeks were as red as tomatoes. “Shut up, Andrew, or you aren’t getting any of those preferences tonight!”

Before I got an unwanted dose of knowledge on Jennie and Andrew’s sex life, I changed the subject. “What are we doing tonight? Why is all of this such a big mystery?”

I got blank looks from both of them as if I were the idiot in the room. Andrew broke first. “You and Eve are difficult to pin down. We all felt it was best to take away any ammunition from the two of you. You can’t shoot down what you don’t know about.”

Well, fuck. They did have a point. As it was, I’d barely kept Eve off me upstairs. “Fine,” I grumbled. “But I take no responsibility if Eve decides to kick your ass.”

Jennie shrugged, “I can take her.”

“Alright, let’s get this over with!” Eve slammed her purse down onto the counter looking about as flushed as I imagined I did. She looked gorgeous. Her dark hair was freshly brushed and restyled after I so thoroughly ruined her earlier look. She was now dressed in a purple sequined strapless dress and her favorite black high heels. She still looked sexy (it was pretty much impossible for her to be anything else) but at least she didn’t look like sex-on-heels anymore. That black dress had been… well, hot. The minute she stepped out of the bathroom my brain had gone haywire.

I walked around Andrew and slid behind my fiancée, kissing her behind the ear. “Hey darlin’.”

She smiled and swooned just like she always did. “You ready for this?”

I squeezed her around the waist and kissed her again. “I want you to have fun, just not too much fun.” I repeated her words from earlier.

“Oh for fucks sake!” Jennie exclaimed. “Let’s get going! I have two party buses full of drunks waiting for their guests of honor.”

Outside, two black buses with darkly tinted windows were parked on each side of the driveway. Jennie pranced toward the one on the left while Andrew wandered toward the one on the right. After I locked the front door, I pulled Eve against me for one last kiss. She melted her body against mine and tilted her head up expectantly.

I wanted to kiss her all night. I wanted to do nothing but kiss her for the rest of time. It sounded like such a stupid thing, but kissing Eve was magic. Obviously I loved doing more, but it always began and ended with her kisses. I couldn’t live without them.

She smiled, it was so obviously forced it made my chest ache. “Have fun, babe. I really do mean it. You don’t go out with the guys enough.”

I held her face in my hands and kissed her forehead before pressing mine to the spot I just kissed. “Darlin’, I go out with the guys plenty. You enjoy your night with the girls, ok? Promise?”

“Promise.”

I kissed her one last time. I meant it to be quick—a sendoff—but as usual, it wasn’t what happened. My quick kiss turned into a deep kiss. Her lips opened and her tongue slid along mine and I was done for. I tilted her back so I could kiss her harder, and when her little moans of pleasure vibrated against my mouth it was all I could do to stop from taking her back into the house and telling our friends to have a nice life without us—we were becoming hermits.

But then the buses started honking at us and our friends were obviously beating on the windows. “I think we better go,” Eve said smiling against my lips.

I sighed and leaned her back up. “Fine.”

She grabbed and kissed me one more time with mischief in her eyes. “Go have fun!”

“Yes, darlin’.”

I watched as she hopped up into the bus. There were squeals and shrieks from her friends. Eve was going to have fun with her friends and that made me happy. I might not like being apart from her, but her being happy made me happy.

I stepped up into my own bus not quite sure what to expect. Any time Greg is in charge of planning things, there is probably going to be trouble.

There was heavy metal playing over the speakers and porn on the TV screens. Typical. Greg was presiding over the others like a game master. He had his customary bottle of Knob Creek in one hand and a cigar in the other.

He’d trained me in the ways of whiskey over the years and the moment he heard I was engaged, promised me an entire night of whiskey.

He was obviously not joking.

Andrew was sitting beside Ricardo. Behind them were two of our managers from work, and on the other side were two old friends of Greg’s I’d hung out with from time to time.

“Hey!” they all shouted the moment I appeared.

I waved. As much as I liked and appreciated all of these guys, I wasn’t particularly close to any of them other than Greg.

“Alright, alright!” Greg yelled, the cigar stuck between his teeth.

The music was lowered, though the greasy dude getting head from two giant-breasted and grunting women was still playing in the background.

“Before we get started, I’d like to present the sacrificial lamb here with his personalized bottle of the night.”

The guys all clapped and hollered at me while Greg wrestled something out of a bag. When he turned around he had a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue Label. It wasn’t Greg’s absolute favorite whiskey, but it was mine. And what he was holding in his hands was a two hundred dollar bottle of heaven. “I consider you a brother and I want nothing but the best for you. That includes a night of celebrating with your friends.” He opened the bottle and poured me a glass. My mouth was watering just looking at the beautiful amber liquid.

“Cheers.”

It was as smooth and amazing as I remembered. It burned on its way down my throat, but not like regular whiskey. This was much smoother, almost like a caress. It was like intense sex: hard and painful, but so sweet and good.

Eve was like expensive whiskey.

“You ready to have a fucking fun night of male debauchery?”

I looked over at Andrew and Ricardo who were grinning at me like I had no clue what was about to happen to me. I didn’t know if I should be excited or terrified.

I took another drink.

* * *

With Greg in charge, anything was possible and I was prepared for every scenario. So, I was a little surprised when the bus pulled up in front of our favorite cigar bar in Ybor City. The historic district was famous for its cigar factories and had seen several transformations over the course of my lifetime. When we were in college, it was the place to party at night, but over the years, shopping, apartments, and restaurants had joined the clubs, making it an entertainment destination, day or night.

Greg and I found Cristo’s Cigar Bar about a month after I moved back to Tampa and we’d been haunting it ever since. It was the perfect combination of dark wood, leather seating, low lighting, and relaxed customers. Plus, they had a ridiculous selection of cigars and whiskey.

A giant round booth in the back corner was reserved for us, and Greg shoved everyone else in first, positioning himself and me on the ends before immediately ordering Knob Creek for the table and more Johnny Walker for me. He was being more bossy than usual and I couldn’t help but smile, he was so intense it was kind of touching.

A very scantily dressed (much more than usual) waitress appeared beside me with a selection of cigars Greg had preselected for the night. She quickly and deftly explained the differences between each type before turning to me. She was young and beautiful, there was no mistaking that. And I certainly couldn’t ignore how hard she tried to seduce me. From the eyes to the breasts to the hips, she was giving it all she had, but I didn’t give her an inch. I smiled politely and selected my cigar, getting a few snickers from the guys.

“Nice try,” I said to Greg.

He grinned, “Thanks. Just doing my job, making sure you are absolutely positive you never want your hands on a different pair of breasts ever again.”

“I’m good.”

Greg laughed and lit his cigar, “You should be. Doesn’t mean I’m not going to make damn sure, though. I don’t want some mid-life crisis landing in my lap down the road.” He stuck the cigar between his teeth and smacked his hands together twice. “I’m officially absolved of all responsibility. You were given your chance and you picked forever with Evie. Change your mind and I will kill you on her behalf. I don’t want her going to prison over your loser ass.”

I swore under my breath. “You’ve got to be kidding me. I can’t believe you just said that.” Greg was such an asshole for no apparent reason sometimes.

He leaned back in the booth, letting out a long stream of smoke. “I don’t doubt you. I’m just covering all our bases. No doubts, no regrets.”

I took a long drag of whiskey and turned my attention to the guys. They were deep in a conversation about the Super Bowl. It was getting heated, fast.

“How’s the Gurkha?” Andrew asked.

I held it up and examined it before answering him. “Smooth. I like it. How’s the Graycliff?”

Andrew let the smoke slowly waft out the side of his lips. “It’s good. Greg means well, you know?”

“I know.” I did. I knew he was just doing his best in the only way he knew how. Sometimes having Greg as a best friend was a blessing, but sometimes it was a curse.

No, when it came to women, it was always a curse. Greg was seriously screwed up in the head about his own love life and he used it as an excuse to tell me about mine.

Sometimes that was a great thing—he was the one who pushed me back to Tampa. He hadn’t even met Eve, but he was convinced we needed to get back together.

But other times, I wanted to punch him in the face for being an idiot.

Andrew leaned a little closer and waited for Greg to get pulled into the Super Bowl debate before speaking quietly. “There’s going to be a show in about ten minutes. It’s the only other crazy thing he has planned for the night. I promise.”

It was the first time someone had clued me in on the plans. I nodded at Andrew to show my appreciation. I could live through a show. Hell, I might even enjoy it. We were supposed to be having fun, after all. Besides, I was going to need the distraction. If this was Greg’s idea of a good night with the boys, what was Jennie’s idea of a fun night out with the girls?

There better not be a half-naked man dancing in front of her.

Or hitting on her… I groaned and took another swig of whiskey.

3

EVE

“If you don’t come out, we’re coming in!” Jennie called in a high-pitched voice. She was taunting me.

Jennie and the girls had rented out my favorite lingerie shop, Satin and Lace, for the evening and they had given me a budget. They were helping me pick out a trunk full of lingerie to seduce my new husband, all while we sipped cocktails and ate finger foods served by incredibly hot guys.

It wasn’t the worst bachelorette party in the world.

I stared at myself in the three-way mirror as pure and utter embarrassment flooded my veins. My cheeks were pink and my chest was covered in red blotches. And, yep, my hands were shaking. I couldn’t believe she’d talked me into the dressing room. I was even more baffled she’d talked me into the outfit. But I was absolutely not stepping outside.

The curtain flung open, “Don’t you have any boundaries?” I shrieked as I feebly attempted to cover my mostly naked body.

“No,” she said bluntly. “This isn’t any different than a bikini. Get your ass out here and show us what we’re paying for!”

She grabbed me by the wrist and yanked. I really didn’t have much choice but to follow her. My only other option would be to fight her off, and that just seemed ridiculous.

My friends erupted into a cheer and round of applause, followed immediately by catcalls and (what I can only describe as) devilish laughter. I turned redder. It was one thing to spend the day in a tiny bikini, it was another thing entirely to prance around in seductive lingerie in front of my friends. The clothes (or lack thereof) that I was wearing had one purpose and one purpose only: to turn Jake on. It was like they were standing in our bedroom with us.

It was creepy.

“Eve, I want to have sex with you in that outfit. It is damn sexy!” Sylvia was fanning herself and I would have thought she was being silly, but her eyes were absolutely transfixed.

I swallowed. “It’s just your pregnancy hormones, Sylvia.”

“No,” our friend, Sarah, replied. She was also staring at me. “I’m definitely not pregnant and I’d definitely switch sides for you in that.”

I blushed again, but relaxed a little. I was wearing a blood red and black lace bra and underwear with matching garter belt and stockings. And now that I wasn’t mortally terrified of standing in front of a room full of my best friends and the waiters they’d hired to serve us for the night (dressed in only pants), I could actually enjoy what my friends were trying to do for me.

“I want to see the black corset!” Jennie crowed as she started pushing me back toward the dressing room. Then she leaned in to whisper in my ear. “Will you just relax and trust me already? Here—” she shoved another glass of champagne into my hands before she yanked the curtain closed.

Jennie was pretty pissed I didn’t trust her. I really couldn’t blame her. She was my best friend and I knew (hidden deep down inside) she would never do anything that would make me so uncomfortable I couldn’t have fun. But everything about the night was making me nervous. Did Jake and I really need to spend a crazy night out with our friends?

Really?

Couldn’t we just skip the whole “last chance to be single” and move on with our lives? Apparently not.

I wondered what Jake was doing. Jennie made me nervous but Greg? As much as I loved that man, his lack of boundaries sometimes frightened the hell out of me.

Jake and I were finally together and happy and everything was making me nervous. It still felt too new. I was constantly worried we were one step away from another disaster that would tear Jake away from me all over again. I loved him and I just wanted a chance to be in love with him for a while. I didn’t want anything to stand in the way of that.

So, I was making little things into big things when I didn’t have to.

I stripped out of the outfit, placing it carefully on the bench. Then I found the black corset Jennie wanted to see next.

My friends were all having fun, most were pretty drunk by that point, but Jennie seemed oddly sober. I spied her in the corner whispering with the shop owner and I had a feeling I was either going to love or hate whatever she was about to show me.

Jennie joined me in the dressing room a minute later with a box in her hands. “I’ve got one more surprise for you and then I promise it’s smooth sailing for the rest of the night.”

Smooth… right…

“Seriously. Don’t give me that look! I’m starting to develop a complex.”

“What’s in the box?” I tried distracting her.

She looked down and smiled. “These are my favorite brand of panties on the planet.” She opened the box to reveal five pairs of the most delicate and beautiful underwear I’d ever seen. “Jake is going to want to tear these off of you with his bare hands… trust me.”

Of that, I had no doubt. “Are these mine?”

She nodded and handed me the box. “You should wear some home tonight, give him a little surprise when he undresses you.”

I nodded slowly as I eyed each pair. They were all a different combination of colors.

“Are you having fun?” she asked quietly.

“Yes!” I exclaimed setting the box aside. “I’m sorry I’m being skittish. It’s not you, it’s me.” I grinned at using the standard breakup line.

Jennie pulled me down onto the bench. We were quite the pair, her in a sparkly blouse, me in a corset. “Are you sad your sisters couldn’t be here?”

I shook my head. The truth was, I was kind of glad. They were my sisters, but we were all at wildly different stages of life. June was in college and Cassandra had two little ones at home. I had a feeling if they’d been there, my night would have been more dramatic and complicated. Sure I was missing two of the most important women in my life, but they’d be standing beside me when I married Jake. I didn’t need them to get drunk with me while I showed off lingerie. That was for my silly, ridiculous, merry band of girlfriends.

“No, tonight is perfect. Just as it should be.”

Jennie smiled and let out a slow breath. “Good. I can’t tell you how worried I was about making you happy tonight. You and Jake both deserve a night of fun.”

“When do I get to do this for you?” I asked with a wicked grin. Andrew had popped the question on New Year’s Eve, but they hadn’t even mentioned the idea of setting a wedding date. Yet.

Jennie shrugged. “One thing at a time. Let’s get you married first. I got the ring on my finger and the man at my side. My mother will need at least a year to plan my wedding. Just don’t get knocked up first.”

I knew she was teasing, but I couldn’t stop the panic that hit me. Knocked up? “One thing at a time, remember?”

She grinned, knowing she’d successfully pushed my button. “Get dressed, we have someplace to be in an hour.”

“Where are we headed next?”

She stood and shook her head at me. “Trust me, it will be fun!”

4

JAKE

The night ended with everyone—bachelors and bachelorettes—at Howl at the Moon, a dueling piano bar at Channelside. There was a ridiculous amount of bad singing, but overall, I’d never had so much fun drinking and listening to music with our friends. They arranged for a private limo to take Eve and I home, even though we were all of fifteen minutes from our house. So instead, I asked the driver to take us to St. Pete and back just so we could enjoy the ride over the bay. Eve fell asleep about the time we turned around and headed back toward home.

She was tucked into my side with her head on my shoulder and I could feel every deep breath she took against my chest. Sure I was drunk as hell, but I couldn’t remember ever being so happy. As the limo climbed over the Howard Frankland Bridge, I looked out over the twinkling lights of Tampa and the blackness of the bay.

I’d never felt more at home in my life. For once, I finally felt like I was where I needed to be. I mattered, I had friends, and every morning when I woke up, I had a purpose. This was the life I always wanted and it kind of scared me that it could be taken from me. Life could throw curve balls at us, I knew it would, but I couldn’t lose the things that mattered. I couldn’t lose Eve.

She burrowed in closer to me, as if it were possible. She was tucked so tightly into me there was nowhere else for her to go except into my lap. But I hugged her tighter anyway. I loved it when she wanted more. I needed more.

I knew in college she was the one for me, but all my years without her taught me just how special our love was. There were all kinds of love in the world, but what she and I had was an extra gift.

So my future was simple: love Eve with everything in me and protect us from the world.

The limo pulled up in front of our house. “Hey,” I whispered, kissing the top of her head and squeezing her.

But instead of waking up, she sighed and hugged me more. God, I loved this woman.

The driver opened the door and grinned at my predicament. “Can I help you, sir? Maybe get your door open?”

“That would be great, thanks.” I carefully adjusted to get the house key out of my pocket. Luckily I’d already tipped him before we left. Somehow I knew we would be too drunk and tired when we got home.

The driver took off toward the front door while I slid across the seat with my sleeping angel. It wasn’t until the cool January air hit us that she stirred at all.

“Put your arms around my neck, darlin’.”

She nodded sleepily, letting her head fall against my chest as I pulled her up into my arms.

“Have a good night sir, and congratulations.” The driver handed me back the key.

“Thank you, drive safely.”

He nodded and jogged back off toward the open limo as I slid through our open door and kicked it closed. Eve shifted in my arms when I flicked the deadbolt.

“I love you so much,” she murmured as I mounted the stairs. Every single time she said that my chest ached.

“I love you too.”

She smiled and bit the corner of her lip even though her eyes were still closed. “It was a good night.”

“Yes, it was,” I agreed. “We have good friends.”

I went straight to the bed and gently laid her down. The lights were off and the blinds were open so the room was barely lit by the street lamps outside. It cast the softest yellow glow across her face and I wanted to study her.

I loved watching her sleep. She wasn’t tainted by the world the same way I was—she could sleep peacefully at night. I watched her because she calmed me, but also because I was fascinated. What was she dreaming about? What was putting those smiles on her face?

For me, sleep was a chore. I had to sleep in order to function, so I did it. Otherwise, I’d give it up altogether. The tossing and turning weren’t worth it. Neither were the nightmares.

Thankfully her dress was easy to slip off, along with her heels. But then I stopped and stared at her underwear. It wasn’t what she was wearing when she left. It was a pair I’d never seen before.

They were hot. Delicate. They looked like they’d fall apart in my fingers and a little caveman part of my brain dared me to find out. I ran my fingers along the scalloped edge and underneath as I wondered where the hell Jennie took Eve before the piano bar.

Why was she wearing new underwear?

The more I thought about it, the more worked up I got—which was ridiculous considering she was asleep and probably hadn’t done anything worth worrying about.

But I sat there stewing for a while anyway. I had to make myself get undressed, but I wound up right back on the edge of the bed watching her sleep and staring at the sexy underwear I didn’t recognize.

I trusted her. Really, I did. But seriously, where had the damn underwear come from and why couldn’t I stop staring at them?

I was so completely at Eve’s mercy it wasn’t even funny.

Damn underwear.

5

EVE

Sunday was shit. We were hungover—not “college” hungover, thank god. There was no hugging of the toilet or passing out on tile floors. We slept until noon on separate sides of the bed (because who wants to cuddle when the room is spinning?) then ordered pizza. The rest of the day was made up of Gatorade and movies in bed.

Things felt off and I just assumed it was because we were both wary of asking the inevitable question: what happened last night? We all wouldn’t have had so much fun singing at the end of the night if anyone had done anything stupid, but it was still weird. It was like asking about what happened at the doctor’s office—you want to know, but at the same time, you don’t. I might have been content to leave it alone, but Jake was acting so strangely I just couldn’t.

He was a million miles away from me, both physically and mentally. He was distracted, his eyes rarely made contact with mine, and he never touched me. Not even when I sat in his lap and ruffled his hair.

“Should I be worried?” I finally asked. I was sitting cross-legged in the middle of our bed, my feet tucked up under me with Jake’s ancient USF t-shirt on and not much else. I’d woken up in nothing but my new underwear.

His head jerked and he finally looked at me. “You? Why would you be worried?”

I loved his response because it told me everything I needed to know. There was nothing for me to be worried about, but clearly he was worried. The question was why? “You’ve barely said two words to me—and talking about pizza doesn’t count.”

His beautiful lips turned down into a frown and he looked at me pointedly. “I’m not avoiding you. I didn’t do anything I regret last night. There were some very scantily clad dancers and one very pushy waitress, but that was it.”

I smiled a little because of the twinkle in his eyes. “You weren’t tempted out of the garden?”

He closed his eyes and shook his head, “Nope. But I think Greg was. I’m pretty sure he hooked up with the waitress before we left.”

That sounded just about right.

“So why aren’t you talking to me?”

Jake stewed for a minute, pulling in his lips and crossing his arms before he seemed to decide he was going to say whatever it was he had on his mind. He grabbed my ankles, pulling me across the bed and onto my back, then climbed over me and looked deeply into my eyes. It took my breath away. There were a million things going through Jake’s mind and I didn’t have the slightest idea about any of them. He lowered his head down and gently kissed my lips before pulling back and gliding his hand down my body, lifting the bottom of my (his) t-shirt up. His fingers slid under the very delicate fabric of my new panties and a grim look crossed his face. “I’ve never seen these before,” he whispered.

It took my brain approximately five seconds to put two and two together. “No. No, no, no, no! Whatever you are thinking, just stop it!” I placed my hands on Jake’s chest, but when he didn’t meet my eyes again, I grabbed his face and forced his eyes away from my panties. “The girls bought us a ton of lingerie for the honeymoon. We went to Satin and Lace. We had the party there while they made me try on outfits.”

He stared at me for a good ten seconds before he made any sort of movement at all. He didn’t breathe or twitch, or anything. It was freaking me out. But then a sly smile crept across his face, turning up his eyes and popping out his dimple. “Lingerie, huh?”

I ran my fingers up into his hair and let out a very relieved sigh. “Lots of it.”

Jake’s mood had swung as far in the opposite direction as possible. Suddenly he was seductive and obviously turned on. “Where is all this new lingerie?”

“It should be delivered soon, actually. Would you like a private show?”

He nodded quickly. He looked like a kid on Christmas morning, giddy and excited to open his presents.

With our little misunderstanding behind us, we decided to get in some “practice” for the honeymoon.

All in all, Sunday was a wonderfully relaxing day off.

Monday was a different story. My morning was all business, moving from meetings to planning and back again.

“Sure you want to come back after you marry Prince Charming? Don’t you want to enjoy all that married life has to offer?” Carey Thomas thought he was hilarious as he leaned casually against the conference table in his black slacks, white dress shirt, and shiny red tie. He was handsome in a goofy way, his dark hair was long and little greasy for my taste, but his jaw was strong and his brown eyes were piercing.

“Oh, you never know. I may change my mind. After all, working with you is rarely worth it.”

The truth was, while Carey had a crude sense of humor and always gave me a hard time, he was really good at his job.

“Aw, c’mon. Give a guy a break! Do you know how much work it is going to be while you and Joshy-poo ride off into the sunset? I’ll be covering your lucky ass’s non-stop. You should be nice to me!”

I chuckled as I gathered up my paperwork. Not only was I taking two and half weeks off for our wedding and honeymoon, but pretty much as soon as I returned, Josh was taking two weeks of paternity leave. We had a temp coming in to help with the hole Josh and I were leaving in the pre-season ramp-up.

“Take care of my temp and I may just have those tickets you’ve been begging for…”

Carey stood straight up. “Seriously? You aren’t playing with me, are you?”

I could play it cool, draw things out a little longer and make Carey miserable. Or, I could dangle the bait right in front of his eyes. I slid the tickets out from the back of my folder. “Two tickets, front row center, to the Justin Timberlake concert.”

He lunged for the tickets which I moved out of his reach. “Not a chance. The concert is in two months. I have them, you know I have them… I expect flawless work while I’m gone.”

He looked me up and down, the eagerness written all over his face. “And I get the tickets? Promise?”

“Promise.”

He stood up a little straighter. “Consider it done. Not that you had to worry, I’ve got your back, Daniels.”

I tucked the tickets back away. “I know, but I like giving you a little incentive. You always work harder.”

He groaned and started toward the door. “You know, if I didn’t like you so much, I’d probably hate you.”

“Get back to work, Carey.”

I stood there stewing for a minute. Carey was being a jerk to get under my skin and it worked beautifully. Every time someone suggested marriage was going to change my life I wanted to scream. It seemed vowing to stand beside Jake and love him for the rest of my life somehow translated into affecting my ability to do my job, think for myself, or maintain authority. I really hoped Jake was getting teased too. That would mean it was just the normal ritualistic teasing all couples got before the wedding. But if this kept up I was going to have to set the record straight—the simple act of falling in love didn’t change me.

I headed back toward my office, which took me right past Josh’s. I heard his voice before I even got to the door. It was loud (which for Josh was very unusual) and he was clearly angry. I poked my head in the door.

Josh’s office made mine look like a cubicle. It was nearly three times as large, with massive windows. His wood desk was situated in front of the windows, facing the doorway. Everything was dark woods or hunter greens and navy blues. It would be imposing if it weren’t for the windows. Memorabilia hung from every wall and was displayed on every shelf. Josh loved signed balls and bats, and that alone took up most of his office.

He looked up and as soon as we locked eyes I knew it wasn’t good news. Josh looked like he was going to rip someone’s throat out. “Renegotiating the contract is not on the table. It’s simply not an option. You are on the hook through the end of this season, renegotiate then.” His knuckles were white as he strangled the phone in his hands.

I closed the door and moved over to the desk wondering which “contract” was in trouble. When I was beside him, Josh put the call on hold. “It’s Synergy. They are trying to use a loophole in the contract to renegotiate the concert series.”

“How much?” My stomach dropped a little. Our concert series was a huge part of our plan for every season, but this season in particular.

“They want a ten percent bump.”

“That’s not the end of the world…”

Josh shook his head, “And they want to cut the children’s concert series.”

I practically grabbed the phone out of Josh’s hands. “They want to what?”

He only nodded and threw his hands in the air. “David is getting chewed out by Synergy for not getting us for more, so he’s trying to throw it back on us.”

“What’s the loophole?” I was not going to let David’s mistake become mine.

Not happening.

“We didn’t specify the safety specs for the new outdoor fan experience in the contract.”

“What? He’s grasping at straws, give me the contract. I’ll take care of this.” In many ways this was my ass on the line, not Josh’s. It was my fiancée who built and engineered the new fan experience, it was my new concert series, and it was my contract. If anyone was going to fix this, it was me.

I flipped to the appendix in question while Josh put us on speaker phone.

“I’m not sure why we’re still talking, Josh. Talk to legal and accounting and get back to me with a new contract.”

“Hi David,” I said flatly.

There were some shuffling noises from the other end of the line before David replied. “Hi, Eve. I didn’t realize you’d joined us on the call.” David suddenly didn’t sound so sure of himself. In fact, he sounded downright scared.

I loved when people were scared of me.

“Look, Josh has gotten me up to speed on things and I’m not sure what it is you are trying to do here but I will not be taking this up to legal, nor will I be asking accounting for more money.”

“But…”

“No. If you look at Appendix D you will see the safety specifications you mentioned are, in fact, listed from the blueprints with a note that final specs would be provided by Spencer, Hamilton, and Associates at the completion of the project. All you have to do is request the specs.”

The line was silent for a moment before David replied. “I would like to request the final specs.”

“I’ll have them to you by the end of business today.”

“Thank you,” he said flatly. “Synergy would still like to reopen discussion on the concert schedule and compensation.”

“Touch my series and I’ll make you pay us.”

“Eve… let’s be reasonable. Please? “

I rolled my eyes at Josh who was looking a little less green.

“Be honest with me and maybe I can work with you.”

By the end of the phone call, I somehow managed to finagle an extra act out of David while only giving him an extra two percent. In reality it was a win all around. David got to the number Synergy needed to hit. Which, it turned out, was the bottom line for everything. If David couldn’t make their numbers work for the board of directors, there was going to be trouble for all of us. So I gave him his money in exchange for an extra act.

“If you don’t mind, I’m going to go get those specs from Jake personally.”

Josh chuckled and spun in his chair. “It’s not going to be the same while you’re gone. I’m going to miss you.”

“It’s going to be weird to have you gone, too. What a bizarre year we’re having…”

He walked me to his office door. “A good year, though. Life moves forward, what better way to see that than weddings and babies?”

Josh was going to be a great dad. He was already hopelessly in love with his daughter. I didn’t think it was possible for a man to be so excited to have a baby girl, but Josh was living proof it was possible.

“I’ll see ya later, Big Daddy.”

* * *

I didn’t text Jake to let him know I was coming. I wanted to surprise him.

I was feeling, shall we say, feisty.

Lisa, the receptionist, smiled as soon as I opened the doors. “What a nice surprise, Eve. You haven’t been by much lately.”

I leaned against her desk, “Wedding planning should come with a warning label.”

“Not enjoying it?” she looked at me with sympathy.

I shook my head. “Not even a little. I love that everyone is so excited, but I just want to get married.”

“Well I am very much looking forward to everything.”

Greg poked his head out of his office. “I thought I heard your voice.” He was dressed in a smart navy suit with his blond hair more ruffled than normal. He looked a little ragged, actually. “We still on for lunch Wednesday?”

“Absolutely. I’m looking forward to it.”

He kissed me on the cheek and winked. “We should plan something devious. Jake has it coming…”

Lisa rolled her eyes and shook her head as Greg and I jokingly plotted to keep Jake busy on our wedding day.

“Where is my groom anyway?”

“On the floor. He’ll be done soon.”

“I think I’ll wait in his office then. You should be working, shouldn’t you?”

Greg flashed his devilish smile at me, “Something like that. Have fun in Jake’s office.”

Oh, I was planning on it.

6

JAKE

“No, I’d look for an imperfection in the material. My guess is that is what keeps randomly throwing the drill off.”

Jim sighed as he looked back at the machine. “Alright, I’ll have it figured out by the end of the day. Thanks for taking a peek, boss.”

I clapped him on the back, “No problem. You’re doing great. Really, you are.”

Jim smiled weakly and nodded. “Thanks for saying so, I appreciate it.”

I was just about to check on my next team when Greg came bounding toward me. He had one of his ridiculous grins on his face that said more than words ever could. “You have a visitor in your office.”

I wasn’t expecting anyone. “Who?”

Greg ran his hand over the toolbox and shook his head, which to me was a sign I was being dense. “She’s awfully pretty.”

Eve. My adrenaline kicked up just at the thought of her. She was a drug and I was a junkie. It was ridiculous and awesome. “Thanks.”

“No problem. How are things coming?” He cocked his head toward the machine.

“We’ll start test runs tomorrow.”

“Perfect. We won’t even miss you while you’re off on the Dream Boat.”

“Island,” I corrected him.

“Fuck, whatever. While you are on a magical vacation, the little people back here in the real world will be just fine without our fearless leader.”

“You sure know how to make a guy feel loved.” I shook my head as I headed back toward my office.

“I love you, man!” Greg laughed as I disappeared.

Eve was twirling in my chair and flipping through my papers. “Hey, handsome.” The flash of her eyes and the slight upturn of her lips made me want to kneel in front of her and bury my face between her legs.

“Hey, beautiful. To what do I owe this surprise visit?” I closed and locked the door behind me and started toward my main door.

“Don’t worry, I already locked it.”

My heart beat a little faster in my chest. “Well then…” I turned back toward my desk and sat in front of her, running my hands through her hair and tugging lightly.

Her eyes rolled back in her head and she sucked in a quick breath. “I did come for something specific.”

“Oh?” I ran my hand down her neck and massaged the muscle of her shoulder. She relaxed and became putty in my hands.

“Mmmm…. I need the final safety specs for the fan experience. Synergy is trying to pull a fast one on me.”

“I could have sent that in an email.”

She smiled up at me and arched an eyebrow. It was so hot when she did that. It always made me wonder what dirty thoughts were running through her head. “True, but this way we both get an orgasm, too.”

Even though I knew that was exactly what we were about to do, I still stopped breathing the moment she said it. “Working with you is very demanding.”

“Wait until we’re married. I only get worse.”

Her hands were on my thighs and her thumb was moving closer and closer to my quickly hardening cock. “That is so hot.”

Then she bit the corner of her pink lip and reached for my belt which only made the blood rushing to my cock pump harder. “No, office sex is hot.”

Yes, yes it was. We’d only had sex in her office that one incredible time I’d fucked her against her desk after work. Every other time we’d done it here, in my office. It was safer and almost as much fun. And at least here we wouldn’t get in trouble… I was the boss. And I’d had new locks installed on both office doors to help ensure privacy.

“It’s been a few weeks, my desk was getting lonely.”

“Well we certainly can’t have that,” she laughed, shaking her head and zipping down my fly. My brain actually turned off for a few seconds as I went sex-blind. When she did things like that—or when her fingers touched my skin—I went dumb. My cock was in control of everything.

I could spend the rest of my life analyzing it, but I would never be able to properly explain what Eve did to me. It was unique and amazing. It was an experience from my body to my mind. She turned me on completely and controlled me absolutely. Plenty of things aroused me, but nothing came close to sex with Eve.

Her voice was tantalizing, her eyes were seductive, and her breath against my skin was always my undoing. Her body was beautiful, and I was pretty sure that to me, it always would be. It spoke to me. It wasn’t just how she looked but how she was shaped. I wanted to caress the curve of her hip, run my hand along the soft skin of her belly, kiss her collar-bone. Her breasts were perfect, but it wasn’t about the size or shape. It was because they were hers. Her lips were mine. I loved kissing them, watching her bite them between her teeth, run them along my skin. Her tongue always made me shiver because I had no idea what she would do with it next. And her thighs… I loved to sink my fingers between them, run my own lips up the inside and smell the distinctive scent of her arousal. I loved it because it led to the one thing I craved more than anything else: being inside her.

Honestly, nothing felt like being buried inside Eve. It lit up every inch of my skin and I could feel her everywhere. I’d never felt anything else that even came close.

The moment her hand closed around my cock I knew I couldn’t have a slow teasing romp with her. She gasped as I grabbed her up and pulled her against me. “Jake! What are you doing?” she was laughing and the vibration went right through me.

I pressed her against my throbbing erection and kissed her neck. “I want you, now.”

“Oh…” she breathed and ground against me.

I smiled against her skin. “Yeah, oh. You know what you do to me…”

I curled my fingers under the hem of her skirt—God, I loved that she usually wore skirts—and slid it up her thighs. She was breathing pretty hard, her chest rising and falling so dramatically it was impossible to look at anything else. Her hair was long and hung down around her breasts which just made me stare more. As she slid her panties down, I unbuttoned her shirt and groaned.

“Fuck… the lacey black one?”

She smiled and leaned in to whisper in my ear. “Yes, the one that clasps in the front.”

I’m not afraid to admit my hands were shaking as I reached up, making contact with her warm skin, and slid my fingers around the clasp.

The moment the bra was undone, Eve pushed me back against the desk, placing her hands on top of my shoulders and one knee on the desk beside me. I wrapped my hands around her hips and helped her straddle me as I sat back on the desk. “In a hurry?” I joked.

She pressed a finger to my lips and glared at me. “No talking. It’s the middle of the work day.”

I could hear the sounds of my employees hard at work on the factory floor. It was an excellent reminder that we were technically doing something rather risqué.

And it made everything so much hotter.

Eve hovered over my pulsing erection and I rearranged my boxers before grasping myself so she could take me. The moment she pressed her hot, throbbing core against my desperate cock, I saw stars. She shuddered.

How she was so wet when I’d barely done a thing would always amaze me. Maybe she was as hopelessly turned on by me as I was by her. I liked to think she was.

She took me slowly, easing around my head then taking me in inch by inch until we were locked together. Her hands were wrapped around my neck and mine were around her hips. She was on her knees on the very edge of my desk, her naked breasts in my face, and I was in heaven.

She moved up and down, faster and faster, her breathing becoming more ragged every second. Her eyes were closed and she was so close to orgasm. The closer she got, the more she fluttered around my cock. It was the most amazing sensation to feel her muscles lose control. To know she was so turned on—by me—that her body was coming undone.

I was barely holding it together. I’d been ready to come from the moment she climbed on top of me, but the pain of holding back was worth every second of work. I was not letting go until she did.

“So close,” she gasped. “I’m so close.”

“I know, I can feel you.”

I pulled her perfect pink nipple into my mouth and sucked at the same time I slid my hand up her back so I could hold her while I used my other hand to rub her clit.

She was shaking and shuddering and—finally—coming. She clamped her lips shut to muffle her whimpers of absolute satisfaction while I watched with fascination.

Watching Eve come was a religious experience. I had each and every one of her orgasms burned into my brain for all eternity. I could live forever on my memories alone. But each new memory was a gift, and this one was no different.

“I’m going to have to remember this position,” she whispered as she laid her forehead against my shoulder. “It hits all the right angles.”

Uh, yeah it did. Her legs were starting to shake so I stood up with her wrapped around my waist and laid her down on top of my papers. “Your turn,” she smiled sleepily.

Damn she was beautiful when she was satisfied. “Is this ok?” I asked as I thrust inside her.

She nodded and smiled, running her hands up my arms. “I’m perfect.”

It took me a moment to unlock myself. All those minutes of holding back, I’d almost forgotten how to relax. But as I buried myself inside Eve over and over I lost all sense of time and place. The build-up hit me hard and all at once. It was like an arrow inside my cock, pulled back and waiting to fire. I thrust hard two more times and then buried myself deep inside while the world went white.

“Shhhh!” Eve giggled and ran her fingers through my hair as I collapsed on top of her. “You’re making too much noise.”

I kissed her chest and neck a dozen times. “I don’t care. That was a fucking amazing orgasm. Totally worth grossing a few people out if they were stupid enough to listen.”

She giggled again, running her hands along my shoulders and sighing. “True enough.”

“Guess we better clean up, huh?”

Her brown eyes locked onto mine and I shuddered. When she did that, I swear she could see my soul. It was like I was always naked in front of Eve. No one else did that to me.

I stayed buried inside her while I reached into my side drawer and pulled out a box of tissues. It only took a few minutes for us to clean-up, rearrange our clothes, and share a bottle of water.

“How do you want the files?” I asked, shaking my head to clear it as I finally sat down in front of my computer.

Eve giggled mischievously. “Email?”

“I told you I could have emailed them…”

“But this was so much more fun,” she whispered, climbing into my lap, making it impossible to send her the email she needed.

“How about I email it, put it on a flash drive, and print a copy?”

She kissed my cheek where she claimed I had a dimple. “Perfect. You take such good care of me.”

Those words hit me hard. They weren’t words I took lightly. Taking care of Eve was very, very important to me. “I try darlin’.”

She kissed me again, “You do a very good job.”

I looked over her shoulder as I hit the print button and then “send” on her email. “How was work today?”

“Good, weird.” She stood up and returned to her bottle of water. “My meetings went well. I bribed Carey and trained my temp. Then this hiccup with Synergy happened. Everything is fine now, but it made the morning interesting. I thought Josh was going to have an aneurysm.”

“He’s still in ‘new-dad’ mode. He’ll go back to being himself soon enough.” Even though I rarely saw Eve’s boss, I was more than aware of how his impending fatherhood had affected him. The normally quiet and well-mannered man had become a half-cocked ball of tension. Things he normally wouldn’t have gotten worked up about were driving him crazy.

It made me wonder what I would be like in the same situation. Becoming a dad was a big deal. You were taking on the responsibility of raising and protecting an innocent human being. Just adding Eve to my life had permanently changed me—what would a tiny little human do to me?

“What are you thinking so hard about?”

I looked up and reminded myself we agreed to leave this discussion until after the wedding. We had enough on our plate at the moment. Kids were not something we needed to complicate matters. “Just how funny Josh can be.”

Eve nodded, but I could see by the look in her eyes how little she believed me. I’d never be able to keep a secret from her, which was fine with me. But what if we wanted different things? With as tuned into each other as we were… it kind of scared me to think how something as huge as kids could affect us.

7

EVE

I had Tuesday off to take care of last minute wedding details, so I was home that evening when my day suddenly took a very unexpected turn. I was wearing black leggings and one of Jake’s button-up shirts over a camisole. My hair was piled up on my head and I was barefoot as I shoved another round of wedding gifts from the front door to the guest room. They’d started pouring in the moment we announced our engagement and the closer we got to the big day, the more furious the deluge of packages.

In fact, it was starting to look like we were moving. Not only were there wedding gifts, but the rest of the house was covered in wedding junk. The living room was stacked with boxes filled with our wedding favors and the coffee table was covered in seating arrangements. I’d wanted a free-for-all, but my mother insisted on assigned seating. She claimed that after a lifetime around ballplayers I should know better than to allow them to think.

Whatever.

I just wanted to get married.

The dining room table was covered in paperwork from the caterer, the baker, and the alcohol supplier… and that was just the beginning of the list. Somehow my mother had managed to invite nearly three hundred people to our small, quick wedding. Considering Jake’s guest list included only ten people, I was sticking to my opinion that my mother was insane.

But then I’d remember my sister Cassandra’s wedding and thank my lucky stars Mara didn’t have a year to plan this. Of course Timothy’s family was just as large as ours and also a baseball family. Their wedding had been insane. There was no other word for it.

There was the brawl that broke out between the Red Sox line-up and Ray’s line-up. At least they’d waited until Cassandra and Timothy left… ballplayers were a special beast. Drunk ball players were impossible.

That was when my doorbell rang.

We didn’t get many solicitors in our neighborhood and I wasn’t expecting anyone, but the wedding gifts had been arriving constantly. I went to the door expecting yet another delivery man.

It was not a delivery man.

What greeted me stopped me dead in my tracks. It froze every muscle in my body and took my breath away. I’m pretty sure my heart stopped beating as I took in the sight of the most beautiful redheaded woman I’d ever seen in real life.

She stood expectantly on my doorstep, dressed in a beautiful gray suit that complimented her figure. Her eyes were a fascinating shade of green and her red hair fell in soft waves around her shoulders.

I knew in my gut who she was the moment I laid eyes on her.

Ashley.

She looked me up and down and shook her head with confusion, “I’m sorry, I might be in the wrong place… I thought this was Jake Spencer’s house.”

I would have responded if I could have found my voice, but I was frozen, absolutely stunned into silence. It was such a weird feeling that it threw me even more off than I was already feeling.

She bit her lip and looked me up and down with an expression that triggered the jealous fiancée inside me. My heart jumpstarted. “This is my house, actually. Jake is golfing but he should be home soon. Can I help you?”

It was her turn to be shocked. Those beautiful green eyes widened and her porcelain face got whiter and whiter until I was worried she might actually pass out on my doorstep.

My damn doorstep… I should put a “No Surprise Guests” sign out because this was getting ridiculous.

“I’m sorry,” she finally stammered. “This was the address he sent me and I just assumed it was his house… that was silly of me.”

“Who are you exactly?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest and sizing her up in a way I knew would make her even more uncomfortable than she already was. It was probably an incredibly bitchy thing for me to do… but I didn’t give a crap.

She seemed to pull herself together, straightened her shoulders and stuck out her hand. “Ashley Grove. Jake and I used to work together.”

I looked at her hand for a full five seconds before I slowly reached out and shook it. I really didn’t want to shake hands with her, but some sort of polite training took over and I carefully shook her hand as if it were made of poison.

I had to physically stop myself from wiping her whore-vibes off of my hand.

But then I got to play the trump card. I liked that… probably too much.

“Eve. Daniels.” I enunciated each word separately and carefully.

This time she didn’t just turn pale, she visibly shrank back, her shoulders curving slightly inward. It was as if I’d just punched her in the gut.

Which I had… with two words.

Ashley slowly nodded her head and finally took a deep breath. “I see he found you, then. Good for him.”

I just stared at her while I tried to decide if I should punch her in the face or full-body tackle her. Either worked for me. Punching her would be so satisfying it wasn’t even funny. But a full-body tackle could lead to a nice all-out brawl and I’d really like to relieve all the tension I suddenly had built-up inside me.

Plus, I was ninety-nine percent positive I’d kick her ass.

“Yes, he found me…” I repeated back to her slowly.

“I’m happy for you both. Look, I realize I shouldn’t have simply appeared on his doorstep like this regardless of his situation, but I’m here on business. You said he’ll be home soon?”

It was like she flipped a switch. The stunned woman who’d just been standing in front of me suddenly transformed into a calm businesswoman. I was fascinated by how easily she did that. It was a special skill to hide your emotions so quickly and effectively. “Yes, would you like to come in and wait for him?”

Despite having just asked when Jake was coming home, she seemed thrown by my question. She stared at me before finally smiling slightly and saying, “That would be nice. Thank you.”

I stood to the side and held the door open while she walked into my home. It was so wrong. Half of me was screaming, “What are you doing, moron? Kick her ass!” While the other half of me was calmly reassuring, “That’s it, lead her in, make her feel comfortable, then kick her ass”.

I closed the door. “Would you like anything to drink? A water perhaps?” See, I could totally be civilized.

“I’d love a water. Even winter here feels so hot and humid.”

I snorted. It was sixty-eight degrees. It was not hot and it was hardly humid. “Have a seat in the living room and I’ll get us both a drink.”

It wasn’t until I was putting ice into two of my nicest glasses that I realized I’d just sent Ashley into the living room—as in the room covered in our wedding plans.

Oops.

When I handed her the water I saw that the cool façade she’d put on a few minutes ago was gone and the stunned, blank look was back.

“I’m sorry, I can move all of this,” I said, waving my hands over the seating chart.

Her eyes flicked up to me, wide and vibrant green. They were so different from Jake’s shade of green. His were warm, almost liquid. Hers were like beacons, flashing and brilliant. “You’re getting married?” It was a question and a statement all in one sentence.

“On Saturday, actually.”

She took a sip of her water and slowly shook her head, “I have impeccable timing, don’t I?”

That was one way to put it. I sat down on the arm chair across from her and sipped from my own glass. Did I play it cool or crazy? I was fine with either, but I decided I didn’t want her to know how far under my skin she’d gotten. I wanted to save that for a special occasion. “We don’t leave until Thursday so whatever business it is you have with Jake can be taken care of before we get married.” I liked the double meaning behind my words. Subtle, yet true.

“I can assume he’s told you about me? You seemed to recognize me from the moment you opened the door.”

Damn. She was very perceptive. Very cool. She may have been thrown by finding me at the door, but she was still able to keep her wits about her enough to observe me. “Yes, I know who you are.” You are my worst nightmare.

She swirled the ice cubes in her glass before taking another sip. “He didn’t talk about you at all for the first three years we were seeing each other. Not once. He never mentioned your name or what was really making him so crazy.”

I had no idea why she was telling me that, but it made my heart stop. Or maybe it was more like a knife through the heart.

She looked up from her glass. “And then something changed. He changed.” She shook her head at the memory. “All of a sudden he couldn’t stop talking about you. He was fixated and fascinated by everything about you. I thought for sure he was exaggerating, he had to be glorifying a part of his past that was actually good.”

I felt like she was trying to tell me something, but all I heard were the words she’d just said, over and over in my mind.

He never mentioned me.

He changed.

He was fascinated.

That was when the front door opened and the sounds of Jake and Greg’s loud, happy voices echoed through the house. I was trapped between some sort of alternate past reality and my very bizarre present. I jumped up from my seat and practically ran to the door.

Jake and Greg had played a late round of golf with two of the managers from the company as a send-off for the boss. Both men were grinning and a little red in the face from what was probably a pretty decent combination of exercise and alcohol.

Jake grabbed me up the moment he saw me, pulling me off my feet and into his arms, “Hey darlin’, you look good enough to eat,” he growled.

Greg swore under his breath. “Number one rule, Jake! Not in front of me! Number one.” He held up his finger and waved in front of our faces. “Why can’t you keep it straight? You two are a nonstop sex train and I can’t take it anymore—” Greg stopped mid-sentence as he saw our uninvited guest. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

Jake shot me a confused look and slowly lowered me back to the ground. His eyes were locked onto mine with a thousand questions I couldn’t answer any better than letting him see for himself. “You have a visitor,” I whispered and stepped to the side.

Ashley was standing in front of the couch, facing us. She and Greg were trading not so quietly whispered insults. My love of Greg was skyrocketing by the second. I absolutely loved how much he hated her.

“What are you doing here?” Jake asked, confused.

Both Greg and Ashley stopped and turned to face Jake. And me, I guess. But I was pretty sure I was no longer the main event.

She straightened herself again and plastered the world’s fakest smile onto her pretty face. “Hey, Jake. It’s good to see you.”

He ruffled his unruly hair with one hand while blindly reaching for me with the other. His fingers touched my waist, sliding along the small of my back, and curling around the other side, gently pulling me against him. “It’s been… a while.”

She smiled tightly and her eyes flicked down to mine. “I hear you’re getting married. Congratulations.”

Jake’s arm tightened around me but Greg beat him to the reply. “It’s “best wishes” moron. You don’t say congratulations until after the wedding. It’s bad luck.”

Ashley and I both glared at Greg. Who was the bigger idiot now? Ashley or Greg? Because my bet was that Ashley would love to send our marriage some bad luck.

“Oh, fuck it.” He waved his hands at us and threw himself into the arm chair.

“Thanks Ash,” Jake finally replied.

My chest tightened. Ash. I could probably land a couple of good punches before Jake pulled me off of her. I knew Greg wouldn’t move a muscle, so it was only Jake I had to worry about stopping me.

No one moved or said anything for a few moments and the void between us felt more like a massive black hole trying to suck us inside.

“I have good news,” Ashley finally said. “That’s why I’m here… can we talk for a few minutes?”

Jake looked down at me, almost as if he were asking permission. Or maybe he was gaging my mood. He was probably freaking out inside his head. “We should sit,” I offered, gesturing toward the couch.

As much as I wanted to kick her ass out of my house, I also knew I needed to be civilized.

For the moment.

He nodded and smiled, a silent conversation passing between us. One in which I assured him I was fine and he assured me that he wanted her out of our house just as fast as I did.

I sat back down in the chair I’d just vacated, and Jake sat on the arm beside me. He held my hand firmly on his leg. I certainly didn’t mind that he’d chosen my left hand, or that my engagement ring was facing Ashley.

She noticed. Her eyes narrowed on the ring as she watched Jake and I settle onto the chair.

“So what is this news you traveled all the way here to surprise us with?”

She plastered that fake smile onto her face again and took a deep breath before plunging in. “Steele Industries wants to acquire The Nugget.”

Jake let out a low whistle and Greg sat up straighter in his chair. Whatever The Nugget was, it had both their attention. Unfortunately, I was clueless.

“Outright?” Jake asked.

She licked her lips before speaking. I was very aware of the way she focused solely on Jake. Ashley hadn’t looked back at me once since mentioning the wedding. It was as if Greg and I no longer existed to her. And her eyes were softening, almost flirting with Jake. “Their initial offer is to purchase all rights to The Nugget and bring both of us on full time to finish developing it.”

“Oh, hell no!” Greg said, standing up. “He’s my partner now. You can take your offer and shove it up your ass, sweetheart.”

Ashley whipped her head around so fast I thought it just might spin off her neck. “I know that, asshole. I was merely telling him what the initial offer was. Back off and cool your jets before you blow off your own damn balls.”

I could be wrong, but I was pretty positive Greg and Ashley didn’t just hate each other, they despised each other on an epic scale. He flicked her off and sat back down.

“Alright… now that we have our private parts under control… what is Steele really offering?” Jake looked equal parts confused and intrigued.

Ashley looked physically uncomfortable. Her hands twisted in her lap and her brow furrowed up before she spoke. “Steele wants to purchase The Nugget and bring both of us on, but they are willing to negotiate. They indicated they may be willing, if The Nugget is, in fact, what I’ve demonstrated, to come to a mutually beneficial compromise.”

I didn’t like anything I was hearing because if I was right, I was pretty sure Ashley had just said she wanted to work with Jake to sell this product. And that was not happening. Like… ever.

“And they would then take it and integrate it into their products, I’m assuming?”

Ashley nodded slowly and Greg just scowled at Jake. I squeezed his leg, “Could someone tell me what The Nugget is so I can at least pretend to follow along?”

Jake looked down at me surprised, almost as if he’d forgotten I was there. But then the blood drained from his face a little and I realized it was more than that. Jake hadn’t forgotten me, he was dreading telling me something. He was all too aware of the fact I was sitting there beside him. “You remember how I made most of my money? An investment that worked out in my favor?”

I nodded, dreading where he was going with this. Jake made his money from two things: an investment, and helping design a product. I’d never asked for more information because I didn’t think it mattered.

“The project I worked on was helping Ashley with a robotic sensor that Steele Industries acquired.”

Ashley was the engineer he’d helped out. She was the one who’d helped Jake make enough money to invest in Spencer, Hamilton, and Associates. “Oh.” It was all I could say. My mind was working too fast to stop for silly words that would more than likely only make me feel more stupid than I already felt.

I’d heard him say “she” and “her”, but it never occurred to me who she might be.

Jake squeezed my hand and smiled, his eyes were searching mine with a soft and hopeful look to them. “When we were working on that project, we came up with the idea for The Nugget. It came together surprisingly quickly, but needed a lot of R&D to turn it into a viable product.” He looked away from me and back to Ashley. “Which means you must have made a breakthrough of some kind.”

She nodded. “I did. And Steele wants it. There is still plenty of work to be done, but it’s clear now this can be turned into something great, especially with Steele.”

Ashley could be turned into something great… for batting practice.

“When can we meet to discuss details?” Jake asked. I tried to pull my hand away, but he clamped down harder.

A smile pulled up at the corners of Ashley’s lips. Not a large or obvious smile, but a smile nonetheless. “Does tomorrow morning work for you?”

“That should be fine.” Jake replied. I involuntarily dug my nails into his leg when he said that. I didn’t realize I’d done it until he flinched.

Greg shot to his feet. “Well, now that we have that all settled… your time is up. Off to your broom or hotel or whatever it is you witches use these days.” He pulled on her arm and nudged her toward the front door.

Ashley sneered at Greg, “Watch it asshole. I can still bite back.”

Greg laughed, “Try it sweetheart. I dare you.”

“Alright, alright,” Jake said. “Ash, you better go before my bulldog here loses it. I’ll see you in the morning.”

He pulled on my hand and I trailed him reluctantly to the front door. It was so awkward. She was probably the only other woman from Jake’s past that I’d ever meet. And here she was… standing in my living room days before my wedding.

She turned at the door and smiled at me with that fake smile of hers. I just wanted to backhand it right off her pretty little face.

Damn, she brought out a surprisingly violent streak in me.

“It was good to finally meet the infamous Eve who saved Jake.”

She really had a way with words. A bad way. “It’s been an interesting evening, that’s for sure,” I mumbled. “Have a good night.”

8

JAKE

We all stood there in the foyer not saying a word while we listened to the sounds of Ashley slamming her car door, starting the engine, and then (finally) driving away.

The wonderful thing about Eve was that I knew her well. The amount and type of swearing she was about to spew at me was usually proportional to exactly how she was feeling inside.

She spun toward me, her brown eyes dark and full of fire. She was fucking beautiful when she was mad. It didn’t hurt that she was also wearing one of my favorite outfits: my shirt and not a whole lot else. I wanted to throw her over my shoulder, take her upstairs, and show her just how much of me she owned, to wipe any doubts or fears right out of her head.

She stuck her finger up at me and glared, “You cocksuckingmotherfuckerassholejackass! You’ve got to be fucking kidding me! Have you lost your goddamned mind?”

Eve was livid. The long string of curse words were all actions directed at me. That meant she was pissed on an epic scale at me, at Ashley, at the world… but angry Eve was easier to handle than scared Eve. I hated scared Eve because I was never sure how to handle her, and it was usually my fault, which just made me feel worse.

So angry Eve was good.

Greg chuckled, “I love how well you can swear, Eve. Really I do.”

She turned her glare on him, finger pointed at him now. “You. I don’t know if I love you or hate you right now. But I’d watch my balls if I were you.”

He laughed some more and carefully moved his hand south until they were covered. “Yes, ma’am. Anything you say ma’am.” His grin was enormous and those blue eyes of his loved how much my fiancée hated my ex-lover. Greg was thrilled to have a partner in crime. I could practically hear the gears of his brain turning. The two of them were going to be impossible to deal with until the Ashley problem blew over.

And that was only if I lived through the evening, which was very much in question at the moment.

“Don’t you fucking leave the two of them alone tomorrow, you got it?”

Greg held up his free hand like he was taking a pledge, “On my honor. Trust me, you don’t need to worry about that. I wouldn’t leave her alone with Jake if my life depended on it.”

Now I glared at him. “I think it’s time you found your way home. Eve and I have some things to talk about.”

He made a face at me, “Have a fun evening you two. And remember, you’re getting married this weekend. Don’t let Miss Sunshine ruin things.” He leaned in and gave Eve a kiss on the cheek. “Noon?” She smiled a little and gave him a quick hug before opening the door and pushing him out. “Noon,” she agreed. “Pete and Shorty’s.”

He nodded, “See you then.”

Eve closed the door and spun around, holding up her hand. “Don’t. Just… don’t.” Then she stormed past me. The back door slammed and a minute later I heard the whir of the pitching machine around the side of the house.

Sometimes it was important to stop Eve before she got too mad, before her mind got too far down a line of crazy thoughts. But other times… it was better to give her a few minutes to let out her anger, order her thoughts, and calm down.

Every few seconds there was another chinking sound as she hit a ball. There was a net set up behind the machine to shag the balls and there were no windows on that side of the house, so I couldn’t watch her. I wished I could see her face and gauge her emotions.

I’d fucked up royally. I knew that much. It was one thing to have Ashley show up, but it was another thing entirely to agree to see her the next day. To possibly agree to working with her. I knew if the shoe were on the other foot, and Sebastian was offering to work with Eve, I’d be insane. Hell, just the idea of it had my blood boiling.

In all honesty, I was pretty confused. This was something Ashley and I could have easily broached over email, or even a phone call. Why did she decide to come all the way to Tampa and knock on my door without any kind of warning? I was shocked when I saw her standing there in our living room.

No, shocked wasn’t good enough—I was numb. I never, ever expected to see her again.

Ever.

To me, she was a part of a life that was dead and gone.

I cared about The Nugget, my name was attached to the project and the patents we’d applied for, but it wasn’t something dear to me. It was merely something I’d leant some of my experience and knowledge to. This was Ashley’s project. I appreciated being kept in the loop about where it was headed but really, it didn’t matter. It could sit in computer files and on shelves unused for the rest of time for all I cared. I certainly had no interest in going to work for Steele Industries, and I certainly wasn’t willing to risk my relationship with Eve over a project.

I realized Eve needed to hear all of this.

The chinking stopped as the machine most likely ran out of balls, so I made my way outside. I expected to get cussed out all over again, but that wasn’t what happened at all. Eve was bent over with a bucket in one hand while she tossed one ball after another inside. She was red in the face and sniffling like she was trying not to cry.

I was such an ass.

Eve wasn’t a crier. It just wasn’t something she did. She was very much in control of herself and she liked to redirect her feelings into positive actions, like fixing problems or cussing you out. I was in deep shit if she was working this hard to keep her feelings in check.

“Eve,” I said quietly so I wouldn’t scare her.

She dropped the bucket and took a step back. “Stay right where you are, cowboy.”

“I’m so, so sorry for what just happened in there. You have every right to be mad as hell at me.”

Her face contorted, moving between unchecked rage and something that tore my heart in two.

“Stay over there,” she repeated, putting her hand up.

I closed the gap between us anyway. I knew she didn’t want me to come near her because it would make her cry, but I didn’t care. I needed to kiss her and she needed to get mad at me. “Nope, not happening.”

She tried to push me away, so I wrapped her up in my arms.

“Jake, stop! I don’t want you near me right now!”

“No. I’m not moving so just stop trying.”

She whimpered a little and then gave in, resting her head against my chest and finally let go. “I hate you so much right now.”

I held her up and brushed her hair while she cried and swore at me.

The absolute worst sound in the world was the sound of Eve crying. It tore me in two. I felt helpless and powerless, and those feelings made me want to do something to stop it. But in this case, it was my fault she was crying.

“I’m sorry.” The words started tumbling out of me. “I’m sorry I ever left you, I’m sorry she showed up here today, and so, so sorry I agreed to see her tomorrow. I promise, I’m just looking over the proposal and telling her I want nothing to do with any of it. I am not going to work with her. I’m not…”

Eve balled the sides of my shirt inside her fists and turned her forehead into my chest. “Why now? We’re getting married, Jake.”

I couldn’t stand it. I grabbed her face and turned it up toward mine so I could see her eyes. I needed to see her eyes.

But she pulled away, scrunching her eyes shut. “Stop. Don’t look at me when I’m disgusting like this.”

“Fuck that,” I whispered and kissed her. She was covered in tears but she was not disgusting. She’d never be disgusting to me. She fought me for a second and then gave in once she realized I wasn’t kidding. She actually kissed me back a little, which was such a relief.

I pressed my forehead to hers and looked into her eyes. “I won’t work with her. It will just be tomorrow morning and then I’m sending her on her way. And you,” I kissed her again, pulling her up into my arms so I had one around her waist and one up her back and into her hair, “are marrying me this weekend. The only woman who matters to me is you. The only woman I have ever loved is you. I’m sorry I’m such an idiot sometimes.”

I wanted Ashley out of my life as badly as Eve did. All I felt was dread when I thought about Ashley. The past had no place in my life.

Eve finally smiled a little. “I wanted to beat the crap out of her for coming to our house.”

Hearing Eve talk helped me relax. If she was talking, she was starting to feel better, which made me feel better. “I’m actually surprised you didn’t.”

She grinned for a moment, but then it disappeared. “She thought this was your house. She came here expecting to find you single.”

“But I’m not, so it doesn’t matter,” I assured her. I didn’t care what Ashley thought.

Eve looked into my eyes like she was digging beneath my layers, looking inside for the answers I wasn’t giving her no matter how desperately I tried. “I just thought you should understand. You’re going to be with her tomorrow, so you should know what she was thinking.”

“Do you want to come to work with me tomorrow? You are more than welcome to sit in on our meeting. As my wife you will have an interest in all things related to Spencer, Hamilton, and Associates. It wouldn’t be weird to have you there at all. I know Greg would love it…” Probably too much.

She smiled again and I knew the two of them were going to be so much more trouble than I realized. “No,” she shook her head. “I have plenty of work at my own job tomorrow. I trust you…”

“You just don’t trust her.”

“Not even a little bit.”

I couldn’t blame Eve. I knew if the situation were reversed I’d probably be sitting in on that meeting. I’d love to see Eve try and stop me from glaring at Sebastian the entire time. So the very fact she was feeling comfortable enough to let me handle Ashley made me feel a glimmer of hope we’d get through the next twenty-four hours without anyone being punched, maimed, or shot at.

Maybe.

“Darlin’, of all the people on this planet there’s only one you. I’ve never met anyone who drives me crazy like you do and I can’t live without you. I’m not the same person without you in my life. I need you.” I ran my fingers through her hair and pressed her closer to my body. “Marry me?”

She smiled and her brown eyes danced, “Do you know you’ve asked me to marry you fourteen times?”

I loved that she knew exactly how many times I’d proposed in the last six weeks. “And it’s still not enough.”

* * *

“They’re waiting in the conference room.” Lisa informed me the moment I walked in the front door. She looked skittish, which was an unusual look on Lisa. Normally she was sassy and blunt, but today she looked like she just wanted to crawl under the desk and hide.

“Is Greg in a mood?”

She rolled her eyes and tapped her pen on the desk. “To say the least. And that woman who is with him… she’s a piece of work.”

Well, that answered my next question. Ashley was already here. It baffled me how everyone seemed to see things in Ashley I couldn’t. She had an uncanny ability to play me in just the right ways, manipulate me and keep me in the dark until it was too late to do anything about it. I never could figure out how or why she did it, most likely because I didn’t care.

To me, Ashley was a friend I had a convenient relationship with. It served its purpose and nothing more. I was always honest and up front with her about my feelings (or rather, the lack thereof). I didn’t focus on why she treated me so differently, because it didn’t matter. She wasn’t my girlfriend and our relationship wasn’t the most important thing in the world to me. It wasn’t even in the Top Ten. I cared about her as a friend… but most things concerning Ashley I just brushed aside and forgot about as soon as they happened.

It was quickly becoming clear to me that might have been a mistake. What I used to think of as a casual friendship with benefits was having a very profound effect on my life.

The most important part of my life.

Lisa held up a coffee mug. “I just cleaned this. The princess would like a cup. A little cream, no sugar.”

I raised my eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

Lisa chuckled. “The first mug I gave her wasn’t clean enough. I hadn’t gotten up the gumption for round two, so… you get to be the lucky winner. I hear you’re the reason for her visit, so, have fun with that boss.”

I took the mug and shook my head. It seemed Ashley was hell bent on making my day miserable.

After gathering both her coffee and mine, I dove into the mess that was my life. Ashley was sitting at the head of the conference table. Her red hair was loose and styled over one shoulder in a soft wave. She was wearing a heavy amount of makeup with dark red lips that complimented the shade of her hair. She had on a cream pencil skirt and matching blazer that buttoned in a dozen tiny buttons up her middle. A bright blue blouse peaked out from underneath, skimming along the cream skin of her breasts. She did have a fabulous rack, not that I cared anymore.

I set the mug down in front of her. “Don’t make my staff clean cups for you. It’s not their job.”

She smiled up at me sweetly. “I’m sorry. But it was dirty and I don’t work here.”

Whatever. I wasn’t in the mood to start a fight over coffee, so I turned away, intentionally moving toward the seat beside Greg. “Morning.”

“Morning Buttercup. How’d your night go?” Greg was playfully batting his eyelashes at me as he rested his chin on his hands like he was a silly girl interested in gossip.

“Fuck off.”

That just made him grin and wink at me. “I knew you two would be all gross and in love after I left. It’s just what you two crazy kids do.” Greg said it loud enough so Ashley could hear.

I rolled my eyes and ignored him. The last thing I needed to do was make things any more awkward than they already were.

I set my bag down in an empty chair and picked my mug back up to swallow a few sips of the liquid caffeine. I kind of wished there was some whiskey in there. It might make dealing with Ashley a little easier.

“Alright, let’s get down to business. The big boys have some real work to get back to.” Greg said with a toothy grin.

Ashley sighed and grabbed a manila envelope from her bag. “Here is the paperwork. Long story short, I want, and need, to work this deal with Steele. Since you hold one of the patent rights along with me, I need to know how you want to proceed.”

I glanced quickly through the paperwork. Steele was more than a little interested in The Nugget. They desperately wanted it. My best guess from some of the wording was that they had another product that would integrate with ours. Instead of developing all this technology on their own, possibly infringing on our patents, they wanted to acquire it for free use.

“Let’s just sell, Ash. Why do you care about a job with them?”

I had a job, she had a job… what was the big deal?

“I want to come back to the States. I’m tired of being a nomad and working on different contracts for different companies around the world. I’m tired of selling everything I create to the highest bidder. I want to build a life and this is a good offer.”

“Have Steele buy me out while preserving the offer for you to go work for them. I don’t see why they would have an issue with that.”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I believe, at this juncture, they are worried about complications. They are looking for the smoothest transaction possible.”

Which made sense. If they acquired The Nugget and both engineers who worked on it, they would have a pretty air-tight situation. No loose ends. But I would also happily sign away whatever rights they wanted.

“Buy me out.”

She flinched a little and her jaw stiffened. “I can’t.”

Well, this was an interesting development. Ashley had easily made twice what I had over the years. “What do you mean you can’t?”

She shifted in her chair and fiddled with the papers in front of her before she lifted her green eyes to mine. I saw a lot of things when I looked into her eyes, but the most obvious was sadness. Ashley was incredibly sad.

“The details of my financial situation are none of your business, beyond knowing I cannot buy you out,” she said quietly. “I do not have the means to at this point in time.”

I stared her down while I studied her. There was so much she wasn’t telling me. True, she was nothing more than a friend, but I did care about her. “That’s all you’re gonna say?”

She searched my eyes for a moment then shrugged, “You aren’t the only one with a complicated past, remember?”

No, no I wasn’t. There was a very good reason Ashley and I had gravitated toward each other. Troubled souls recognized each other. She recognized my fuckedupedness before we actually met. At first it had been such a relief to meet someone who understood. I never had to explain myself to Ashley—she got it because she lived it, too. Maybe that was why it was so easy to avoid conversation with her, there was just the silent understanding of who we each were and nothing more. And maybe that was why she was so good at manipulating me. One screwed-up person knew exactly how to play another screwed-up person. That was probably why I always kept her at arm’s length—I knew it drove her crazy.

God, we were awful for each other.

“I have no interest in changing my position here at the company. If you want to sell The Nugget, I’m on board. Otherwise, I can’t help you.”

The door opened and one of our interns, Rob, stepped cautiously inside. He looked like he’d rather have walked into an actual lion’s den. “I’m so sorry to interrupt your meeting. Greg, they need you in maintenance.”

“I’ll be there when I get there,” he hissed at Rob, who cringed.

“They said they can’t wait. They need you now. It’s serious.” Rob was looking at his feet, and I was pretty sure he was shaking.

“Fuck nuts.” Greg swore and slapped his hands down on the conference table. “Sit, Rob.” The poor intern flinched and looked around at the table. Greg rolled his eyes and pointed at a specific chair right between Ashley and me. “There, in that chair. Sit there and pay attention. Don’t let either of these morons move or leave, and remember every single word they say.”

Rob nodded emphatically, “Yes, sir.”

I sighed, “Greg, we’ll be fine. You don’t have to intimidate Rob.” Seriously, we were all adults. He could lay off.

“Nope, I promised Evie I wouldn’t leave you two alone. Rob here will fill in for me until I get back. Right Rob?” He leaned across the table, “You don’t want to mess with me right?”

Rob shook his head, “No sir.”

Greg nodded. “That’s right. And if you think I’m bad, just imagine what Jake’s fiancée will do to you if you fuck up.”

Rob’s wide eyes shot over to mine. I shrugged. Obviously no one cared what I thought in this situation.

“That’s right, you know who Eve is and what she’ll do to you. So just do your job son, and everyone will be fine.” Greg was so dramatic. But then he turned on me. “I’ll be right back.”

“Go put out your fire, boss.”

With one more glare in each of our directions, Greg finally left.

Rob looked down at the table. I was pretty sure he wanted to crawl under the table. Poor guy didn’t ask to get dragged into my drama. He was just the kid who drew the short straw in the intern pool.

“Breathe, Rob. Nothing’s going to happen. We’re almost done here.”

He glanced up and smiled a little. “Just doing my best to listen carefully.”

I rolled my eyes and looked back at Ashley, “Is there anything else?” I asked.

She was sitting quietly as if she were running her options through her head. “I’m surprised. I really thought you’d at least want to see The Nugget through. It was a brilliant piece of work on your part.”

A very small bit of regret flitted through the back of my mind. “Thank you.”

“You used to say all you wanted to do was put good things into the world. The Nugget is good, Jake. Really good.”

“I did my part. It’s enough.”

“Is it?” She was pushing me on purpose.

“Yes, it is. There is more to my life than a single product. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I do good work here, too.” I gathered the papers back together and slid the folder back across the table.

“Of course. I didn’t mean to imply your work here was frivolous, but the things you and I have worked on… come on, Jake. They don’t even compare. You are meant for more than a boring job making mediocre products for the American consumer.”

I didn’t know if I should be insulted or honored. It was a beautifully backhanded compliment. “What happened, Ash?”

She transformed so fast I would have missed it if I’d blinked. “I don’t think the past ever truly leaves us alone, no matter what we do.”

It was such a cryptic statement. One I hated hearing since I was betting on leaving my own past behind. “I sure as hell hope you’re wrong about that.” We stared at each other for a while, neither of us really willing to say anything else. It was a subject we typically avoided. The past was something neither of us needed to spend time around, no matter how much it haunted us. “Does it have to do with Charlie?”

Ashley looked out the window and took a deep breath before looking back at me. I could tell by the tension in the air my guess was right. “The short answer is yes,” she said quietly. “But as I’m sure you’ll understand, that barely covers it.”

I could honestly say I felt really bad for Ashley. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

She smiled sadly, shaking her head and looking up at the ceiling. “Nothing a little money couldn’t take care of. It should get me some peace for at least a few more years.” Then, in another complete about-face, Ashley smiled brightly, threw her shoulders back, and grabbed the folder off the table. “So,” she drawled while putting the folder away, “if they agree to buy your rights and still take me on, you’ll sign over?”

“Absolutely,” I agreed as the door opened and Greg came storming back inside. Talk of the past was over. We barely talked about it to each other, so we certainly weren’t going to keep talking in front of Greg.

“What are you agreeing to, Buttercup?”

“If she gets Steele to buy me out and take her on as lead engineer, I’ll sign over my rights.”

Greg slapped the table. “Excellent. Angel Face and I will work out the details while you’re on your honeymoon. Don’t worry about a thing.”

Ashley glared at him. “I don’t need your help, Greg. I can handle this.”

“No,” I interrupted. “That’s a great idea. Greg knows what I want and what works. You can coordinate with him until I get back. I will be out of pocket for two weeks and you should be able to have a new proposal in hand by then.”

I liked this idea a lot. It would make everyone happy. It got me out of my last tie to a past I no longer wanted, it gave Ashley the opportunity she clearly needed, and Greg was taking me out of the equation, which would make Eve very happy. Greg might even get to piss Ashley off a few times in the process. It was a win all around.

“What was the emergency?” I asked as Greg threw himself into a chair.

He scowled, “Idiot intern left the chuck in the lathe.”

“What?” I practically yelled it.

“Don’t worry about it. It shot straight at the wall and no one was in the way. There is, however, a beautiful dent in said wall now.”

“Obviously he was one of your hires.”

Greg huffed and turned to Rob who was still sitting and staring at the table. “What did they say while I was gone? Repeat it back. Word for word.”

Rob stared at Greg with huge eyes. He stammered, “They talked about doing good work?”

Greg rolled his eyes and waved the boy out of the room. “I was kidding, junior. They didn’t do anything stupid or say anything crazy?”

Rob shook his head.

“Good, now leave.”

Rob ran away from the storm cloud that was our conference room. I wanted to join him.

9

EVE

Greg and I had decided to meet from time to time for greasy food and beer in the middle of the day. Pete and Shorty’s was one of Greg’s favorite places to eat and we both loved the burgers. It was kind of, sort of, a halfway meeting point for us, so it worked.

I dropped into the wooden booth. There was already an order of tots and a pitcher of amber-colored beer. “Spill it. Give me the dirty details fast and hard,” I ordered as I took a giant gulp of liquid heaven.

He grinned at me as he popped a tot in his mouth. He always had the most mischievous glint to his blue eyes. It made me wonder what really went on inside his head. He seemed like such a blunt, open book, but I was absolutely positive Greg was always holding back.

“It went fine. No claws were used… there may have been some name calling—probably on my part.”

As if I had any doubt. “So far so good. Keep going.” I chugged the first quarter of my beer. I’d spent the morning keeping busy with work, but I’d been tense and nervous. The idea that Jake and Ashley were talking this morning was constantly playing in the back of my mind. Beer was a relief.

“Jake told her no-deal unless it included leaving him out of it. She tried a few different angles, but your boy held his own. He did good.”

“So that’s it? She left and we’re done?” I couldn’t believe it would be that easy.

It wasn’t.

Greg took another swig of his beer. “Jake told her if she could get Steele to agree to buying him out, he’d sign on the dotted line.”

Crap. She was still around then. I didn’t like this at all.

“Cool your jets, Evie. It’s not as bad as it sounds. She’s going through me.” He said it like he was a proud dad, leaning back in the booth and tugging at the collar of his shirt. “Jake won’t have anything to do with her until a deal is worked out. If a deal is worked out.”

“You?”

He nodded, “Yep. It may kill me, but I’m taking point. I’ll keep her off Jake and away from you. Hopefully having to go through me means she’ll cut the crap and keep things simple.”

Somehow I doubted that was possible. “So, what’s the deal with you two?”

Greg looked away from me and concentrated on his beer. “We’re oil and water, ammonia and bleach, hydrochloric acid and… anything. We just don’t get along.”

I cleared my throat, “But why?”

He shrugged his shoulders, “Everyone has their triggers. She is each and every one of mine combined into one crazy… person,” Greg grumbled. “I promised Jake I’d stop calling her names unless she really, really, really deserved it. He made me promise all three ‘really’s.”

I laughed. “And some of those triggers would be?”

“Manipulative. Fake. Selfish. She tries to use her looks to get what she wants… the list goes on.”

I could certainly see how they antagonized each other. Greg was a particular personality as well. As much as he and I got along, those same personality quirks would drive some women, like Ashley, up a wall. Greg was very blunt and liked real people. He loved women… a lot, but he hated fake women. He played with them like fish on a line.

“Ok, I can see how you two don’t like each other, but it’s more than that.” I was getting to the bottom of this if it killed me.

He squirmed and fidgeted some more until the waitress appeared and took our orders. We both got burgers.

“Do you like her?”

He looked at me like I shot him in the gut. The complete horror showed from his eyes to the thrust of his jaw and the set of his shoulders. “No. God, no. No, no, no. Wash your mouth out with soap young lady.”

I shrugged my shoulders, “Well, you are squirming and you two act like kids, it was one possibility.”

He shuddered and chugged his beer. “No, I just…” he sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “I just don’t know how much to say. Jake is like a brother to me and you’ve…” he actually blushed a little. The pink on his cheeks was completely foreign and kind of adorable. “You’ve become like a sister. I love you two to death.”

I hopped up out of my side of the booth and slid in next to Greg. He lifted his arm and I ducked under to hug him. “You’re like the brother I never had, Greg.”

“Better than Tim?” He sounded genuinely hopeful I liked him better than my brother-in-law, then added under his breath, “Please say you like me better than Tim.”

“Tim would never get into trouble with me like you. He’s more like a friend. You, are my brother from another mother.”

Greg let out a loud whooping laugh. “I’ll take it.”

I hoped sitting beside him, where he didn’t have me staring him down from across the booth, would help him say whatever it was he was avoiding telling me. The waitress came by with a fresh pitcher and mugs. It was nice to sit so comfortably with another man I had absolutely no feelings for and no professional relationship with. Greg and I were just friends, plain and simple.

“I hate her because of the way Jake is around her.” Greg said it to so quietly and calmly, it was bizarre.

I froze, his words settling around me like ice cubes.

“I don’t even think he realized he was doing it, but every time she came around, he would regress. It was so weird. One day he’d be fine and dandy; joking around with everyone, happy, working hard. And the next…”

I was having a very visceral reaction to Greg’s words. The last time I’d felt this nauseous was the first time Jake told me about Ashley.

“The next?” I prompted him.

“The next, he’d struggle to get through the day. Ashley seems to have a special ability to bring out the worst in Jake. And it’s a two-way street. He brings out the worst in her, too.”

“Greg?” He looked down at me, all big brotherly and adorable. “I fucking hate her.”

He nodded and cocked his head to the side a little, “Yeah. Me too. But you know what?”

I shook my head, feeling a strange combination of sad and angry.

“You don’t have a damn thing to worry about. I think the reason he hung out with her as long as he did was because he was lost. You give him purpose and direction, so it really doesn’t matter that she’s suddenly reappeared. She can’t knock him off course like she used to.”

I liked hearing that. “Greg?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

Our burgers arrived and conversation veered back toward the ridiculous. “Since the wedding ceremony isn’t until five, I was thinking of sending him on a wild goose chase for most of the day. You know, making up ridiculous things you absolutely needed to get down the aisle? But then your mom yelled at me.”

“Greg,” I laughed, “it’s an island. A tiny island. We’re going to have enough traffic problems, please don’t lose the groom.”

He shrugged. “I won’t. Tom and I decided we just need to hang anyway. He hasn’t seen Jake in months and I haven’t seen him in almost a year.” A little flock of nervous butterflies took off in my stomach at the mention of Jake’s uncle. I was surprisingly nervous about seeing him again after all these years.

“Good plan.”

We ate some more in silence when I realized Greg was smiling and looking off into the distance. “What are you thinking about?”

His eyes snapped back to mine. “I was daydreaming. It was glorious.”

“Gonna clue me in?”

He pushed around his fries before answering me. “I was kind of… maybe… dreaming about you beating the crap out of Ashley.”

“So violent, Greg! I would never…”

He laughed at my lie. “Eve, you have a special place in my heart mostly because of your passion. You take no prisoners. You know what you love and you protect it without question—you are exactly what Jake needs in his life.”

I kind of wanted to hug Greg again, but I stayed where I was. “Are you suggesting I am prone to fits of violence when it comes to my future husband?”

He grinned, “Heaven help anyone who comes between you and Jake.”

* * *

My last full day of work as Eve Daniels was in the books. Thinking about Ashley all day had taken its toll on me. I felt more exhausted than usual and was practically dragging myself through the front door of our house when Jake surprised the crap out of me.

“Hey darlin’, welcome home.” He was standing just inside the door with an enormous grin on his face, his gorgeous dimple peeking out and his green eyes flashing.

“Thanks, baby,” I replied, practically throwing myself into his arms. He was warm and strong. He was so inviting I wanted him to carry me upstairs, curl around me, and just sleep.

Instead, he took my bag from me and set it on the table.

“Take your shoes off, please.”

“My shoes?” I asked, even though I was already kicking them off.

“Yep,” he replied and popped his eyebrows. Jake was up to something. He looked me up and down and frowned a little. “Do you mind taking your pants off? You look too stuffy.”

Now I frowned. “My pants? Jake, what is going on?”

He didn’t wait for me—he came right on over and reached for my waist. “Your pants, you should take them off.”

Was he losing his mind? Normally he’d ask seductively, glide his fingers along my waist and kiss me until I forgot what was happening. “My pants? This can’t wait until, I don’t know, I get past the front door?”

He shook his head at me like I was being difficult. “Fuck it. I’ll just take you like this.” He bent down and threw me over his shoulder.

“What the hell are you doing?” I yelled and smacked him on the ass since I was hanging over his back. I was laughing as loud as I was yelling.

“I have a surprise for you. I was simply trying to get you comfortable, but I don’t have time to waste on debates.”

He took me through the kitchen and out the back door onto the porch. Our porch was wide and covered, with columns and a rail separating it from the backyard. Normally there were large, comfortable lounge chairs and tables lined up along the house, but as Jake walked me outside and tossed me down, I realized he’d rearranged everything. I landed on a mattress covered in pillows and blankets.

Beside the mattress was a table covered in a variety of snacks and appetizers. A bottle of wine was open and two glasses were waiting beside it. “We’re having a picnic?”

Jake laid down on the mattress beside me, smiling up at me as he wove his fingers up into my hair. “It is our last night at home for a while. I thought we should make it special.”

“Oh,” I breathed.

“Yeah, oh,” he replied and kissed me, his tongue sliding against mine as his fingers tightened in my hair.

The weather was perfect. A cold front was sliding in from the north, so the temperature had been dropping all day. It would be raining soon and Jake knew exactly what rain did to me.

I decided I didn’t want to talk or think. I just wanted to let everything go. I wanted to escape inside Jake for a little while, so I let him kiss me until my toes curled, and then I rolled on top of him.

“I think you are wearing far too many clothes, Mr. Spencer.” I started at the top of his shirt, unbuttoning one after another until his shirt was open. I tugged up his white undershirt and ran my hands along the muscles of his stomach, then hooked my hand around his belt and got to work on his pants. Jake was grinning at me the whole time, his eyes rolling back in his head whenever my skin touched his.

The rain started to fall quietly, so quietly at first I barely noticed it. Not until there was enough water for it to start dripping slowly from the leaves and the roof above. It created a symphony of noises that seemed to blot out the rest of the world.

“Take your clothes off,” I commanded as I stood up and finally dropped my pants. Then, with a grin, I took off my blouse and bra, but picked Jake’s shirt back up and pulled it over my shoulders to keep the cold away.

“Don’t you want to eat first?” he asked, grinning.

I paused as I pulled his shirt closed around my nearly naked body. “Do you really want me to stop?” I teased back.

“Oh, no,” he replied with a slow shake of his head, his eyes drinking all of me in. “Get your gorgeous ass down here.” He sat up and tugged on my hand, pulling me onto his lap.

I straddled him and ran my hands down his bare chest. “Who needs food when there is something this delicious in front of me?”

Jake laughed so hard he practically bucked me off of him. “Cheesy much? Get down here and kiss me, woman.”

And so I did. I kissed the hell out of him. I had way too much pent up frustration from the last day. It needed a way out and Jake was my favorite way to exorcize my demons. The deeper we kissed, the more our bodies ground together and with very little separating us, we quickly moved from excited to aroused.

But the rain was falling harder and the temperature was dropping. Even with the heat generated between us, a chill ran over my skin.

“Oh no you don’t,” Jake grinned. Then he pulled the blankets up around us, flicking the switch on a heated blanket. “There’s more where that came from if the temperature keeps dropping. I got the space heater out, but I was hoping we could get lost under all these blankets for a while, first.”

Then he rolled me underneath him, “Or I could just keep you warm with me.”

I liked that idea. I liked all of it, actually. The blankets were soft against my skin. I liked being lost under the covers with Jake. I never knew what was coming next… a hand, a kiss? Maybe soon he’d let me have some of that erection he had sliding against my skin.

Just the thought made my body throb with anticipation. As much as I was enjoying being lost in the blankets, nothing compared to being lost in Jake. He could wipe away my doubts and fears, quiet my mind, and relax my body like nothing else ever had or ever would. I craved the peace he gave me.

So I tilted my pelvis up and let his cock fall between my legs. I loved the way his green eyes lit up and he sucked in a breath. “Excited are we?”

I nodded and pushed my sex against him. There was an explosion of sensations from the contact of his body against mine. I wanted more so I pulled back and tilted forward again. This time he slid inside, just a little. Just enough for us both to gasp and freeze.

The rain was falling soft and steady only a few feet away from us, but we were so dry and warm under the protection of the porch. It was like we were in a bubble, just the two of us, safe together from the world. It was like Jake was feeling the exact same way I was because, just as my emotions were starting to get the better of me, he wrapped his arms all the way around my body, holding me close and locking his eyes with mine as he very slowly and teasingly started to make love to me.

With small strokes he entered me, and with each gentle thrust my body responded. I was wet and desperate for more. I writhed in his arms as my body took over—its needs and desires shut what was left of my brain down.

“I know you don’t want to talk about it right now,” he gasped, “but I fucking love you.”

What he really meant was that Ashley didn’t matter. “I fucking love you, too,” I whispered, arching my back and allowing his cock to slide all the way inside me, as far as Jake could go. He was buried to the hilt and his body pressing against my clit made my core pulse.

“Nothing else feels like being buried inside you, Eve. I would live like this if we could.”

My eyes were closed, my back was arched, and my hands were dug into the skin of his ass, pulling him harder and deeper every time he pulled back. I knew he wasn’t actually getting deeper inside me, but I liked to think he was. I wanted us to fuse into one being.

“It might be hard to eat and watch TV and stuff like that,” I gasped, then cried out as he buried himself inside me again.

“True, true…” he kissed a trail of kisses up my shoulder, gasping and pumping. “But I think I could live with the consequences.”

“What if we got bored?”

Jake stopped mid-stroke and looked me in the eye, “Blasphemy. You take that back!”

Instead, I kissed him again and rocked my hips up to meet his. He groaned and pushed inside me. “Fine, say whatever you want… just don’t stop doing that.”

I nibbled at his earlobe and lower lip, “We could agree to meet at home for sex every day at lunch?”

Even that sounded too tedious. I liked the unexpected sex far too much, but I also enjoyed any sex with Jake, so maybe there was no such thing as too much sex.

Or maybe I was thinking way too much for someone who had a gorgeous man on top of her.

“Fuck, woman. Shut up and come.”

“Sir, yes sir.”

There was no more talking after that, just hands and tongues. Skin on skin. Jake inside me, and my body welcoming him again and again with every thrust, until I felt that rush of electricity sweeping through my body and coiling deep in my belly.

“Higher,” I gasped. I wanted his cock to hit me right at that bundle of nerves.

“There?”

I nodded and jerked as he glided exactly where I wanted him, digging my nails into the skin of his shoulder, barely able to catch my breath as he hit that spot over and over and over. My whole body shook and shuddered as the orgasm detonated at the point where Jake’s cock slid into my body, and washed through every inch of my skin, opening up my lungs, and making my heart race. My scalp tingled and my toes curled around his calves as I folded my body around his.

The rain drowned out my cries, not that I cared if anyone heard me.

That was a damn fine orgasm.

Jake was panting and laughing, “That felt good. Was it good?” His skin was covered in a fresh layer of sweat and my hands started sliding.

“Yes!” I breathed as he thrust deep inside me and his body made contact with my clit. “Do that again.”

He grinned, his dimple showing and his eyes flashing, “Like this?” he asked, thrusting hard and deep.

I groaned, my whole body groaned. “Yes, again.” He thrust over and over, I knew it was something he liked as much as I did and I was hoping in a minute we’d both be coming.

Jake grunted. The muscles of his arms straining and lifting my hips up to meet his, his jaw tightened and his eyes darkened. It was so hot to watch him work inside me. To know it was me and my body making Jake lose his mind.

He pushed inside me one last time, his cock pulsing inside me. I felt the kick and spasm, and that little movement along with his warm body pushing against my clit pushed me over the edge one last, refreshing time.

“Maybe we should stay like this forever,” I gasped with my fingers buried in the skin of his ass. “Because this is pretty fantastic.”

10

JAKE

“Give me a kiss and I’ll give you the grapes. It’s that simple.” I dangled the bunch of red seedless grapes from my fingers, letting them sway gently while I taunted Eve.

She raised an eyebrow and shrugged, “Maybe I don’t want the damn grapes that bad after all.”

Oh no she didn’t. She was playing with me—no, mocking me. I tossed the grapes and tackled her against the mattress and pillows. She was naked and had the blankets pulled up around her for warmth. But now she had me on top of her again and I wasn’t so sure two orgasms were enough for her tonight.

Not with the way she was looking. Her hair was a mess, long and dark and ridiculously tousled. It was sexy as hell as it fell over her shoulders and curled against her pale skin. When she looked like this—a combination of relaxed and sleepy and mischievous—all I wanted to do was fuck her over and over and over again.

“Are you testing me?” I growled as I buried my face in the crook of her neck. The skin from her shoulder to her ear was my favorite to kiss because she always let me kiss her there. And it never failed to make her putty in my hands. Sure I loved kissing her breasts, but it wasn’t nearly as consistent as the neck.

And I was all about sure things when it came to Eve.

“Maybe,” she gasped as my tongue hit that spot behind her ear. “Need to make sure I know what I’m getting myself into.”

“What?” I pulled back so I could see her face. She was biting her lower lip to keep from giggling and her brown eyes were dancing.

“You know, before I make a life altering decision this Saturday.”

I shook my head slowly with my eyes locked onto hers, “I guess I’ll just have to convince you then.” That was when I unleashed the tickling. I was merciless, hitting every spot I knew she hated. She laughed and wiggled beneath me, and just for the safety of my manhood, I wrapped my feet around her legs, pinning them beneath me. Then I tangled my fingers in hers, pulling her arms above her head so she couldn’t move.

“Don’t tickle me like this,” she begged. There was real fear in her eyes.

“I’m not,” I promised and kissed the hollow of her neck. Her eyes immediately softened then heated, as she realized we weren’t playing games anymore.

Eve was a lot of things, but she was rarely powerless. Even when the chips were down, she found a way to turn the tables in her favor. She always managed to find solutions to every problem and keep herself from falling behind.

Except with me.

She let herself be vulnerable, she allowed me to take control, and most important of all, she trusted me.

I absolutely loved that it was something she did for me, and no one else.

So I kissed her again and again until she tried to escape my grasp. I let her go. I didn’t really want to hold her down. I’d rather have her hands on me.

The second she did, I shuddered. My body reacted to her touch the same way every time. I brushed that crazy hair back from her face and looked into her eyes, “I’d never cheat on you, Eve. I can’t. I’m physically incapable of sleeping with anyone but you ever again.”

I kept saying the wedding was just a formality, but it wasn’t. It was a big fucking deal to me. It was everything. I’d been in love with Eve for years, but I was constantly amazed by what that meant. It kept transforming into something more, something bigger. Every time I thought I could put my finger on it, and define it, my feelings for her grew deeper and I realized there was a whole other level to being in love with someone. She didn’t just turn me on and I wasn’t just happy when I was around her, Eve had become my life. She was everything to me and I wasn’t sure I could live without her anymore.

It was crazy to think of it now, but until a few months ago (the night we fought at the hotel in Orlando) it hadn’t occurred to me we could get married. But when Eve finally unloaded her anger and really let me into her mind, I finally saw everything differently. That was when I realized I meant as much to Eve as she meant to me. For some reason, up until that point, I was still convinced I loved her more. I needed her more than she needed me. I was the one at the disadvantage. She could crush me and walk away and still live her life.

But not me, I knew I couldn’t live without her.

It hadn’t occurred to me to ask Eve to marry me. Why would she? I would never deserve her. I wasn’t good enough to love her as it was, but then I’d left her. I knew asking her to be my wife was too much.

But then she yelled and cried, and called me her family.

That single word meant so much to me. I saw Eve and our entire relationship differently from that moment forward. I finally realized it wasn’t about deserving her—I’d never do that. But I could make her happy. My dream of building a life with her, having a future, and making our own family… it was real. It was something I could have.

I just had to have the courage to claim it.

I barely slept that night in the hotel. I wanted to ask her to marry me right then and there, but I wanted to do it right. I was going to plot and plan so I was sure when I asked that question, the only answer I would hear was “yes”.

My love and fidelity to Eve wasn’t a question for me, and I had absolutely no doubts about her. But the act of making it official, of merging her name with mine and becoming a real family… it was a big damn deal. Ten years ago I could barely imagine a life like this, and now it was real.

“You’re packed?” she asked, running her fingers through my hair. Every muscle in my body relaxed and I had to remind myself to keep from crushing her.

“Yep, bag is next to the front door and ready to go. I just need throw a couple of things in an overnight bag and I’m done.” We packed two separate bags. One to get us through our wedding night, and one for the honeymoon. Packing for two and a half weeks was interesting, but it helped that we were going to the Caribbean. Packing didn’t involve much more than comfortable clothes and bathing suits, even in January.

“I’m not,” Eve frowned. “I’m having trouble deciding which new sexy lingerie to bring.”

“That is a terrible problem to have, babe. Maybe you should model them all for me again, I can help you choose.”

She rolled her eyes, but smiled. “Seriously, are you even going to care if I wear lingerie on our honeymoon?”

I’d wash her mouth out with soap if I thought I could get away with it. “How could you possibly ask that question? Are you insane? That is some seriously hot lingerie.”

“Well then…” she looked me over and cocked an eyebrow, “I’ll be sure to pack as much as I can. I’d love to see that face a few times on our trip.”

“This one?” I asked, plastering a ridiculous smile on my face.

“Yep, that would be the one. Incredibly, undeniably, happy Jake. The most beautiful thing in the world.”

I kissed her because I didn’t know what to say when she said things like that. It always overwhelmed me so much I was speechless. But a kiss, a kiss I could do. So I tried to tell her how she made me feel with my lips and my tongue.

“Did you make any plans? I saw you looking at excursions the other day.” I rolled to the side to take my weight off of her and rearranged the blankets. The rain was still steady. It was everything I was hoping it would be. When I heard it was going to rain all night, I pictured exactly this: us cuddled up on the porch, wrapped up naked together listening to the rain.

“No plans, but I have lots of information so we can pick and choose what we want to do every day. Or not do.” She grinned and bit the corner of her lip. Eve had something very mischievous on her mind.

“What?” I asked, but she just chuckled.

“It’s stupid. It’s… a bad idea.” She blushed. The red blotches appeared around her collar bone and streaked up to her cheeks.

“Oh no you don’t.” I pulled her arms away from her body and ran my hands along her soft skin. “Tell me what you’re thinkin’ darlin’. All your secrets are mine now, remember?” I winked so she’d know I was being playful.

When she hesitated, I started kissing her neck and nibbling at her ear, moaning and groaning until she was panting, too.

“I was just thinking… we’ve been so busy with getting things in order… we haven’t had much… fun lately.”

I pulled back to look into her eyes. I cocked an eyebrow. “Fun?”

She nodded slowly and attempted to bring the blanket back up around her. I stopped her. “What kind of fun?”

She blushed all over again, turning even brighter red this time. “The kind you and I like to have.”

Oh…. Eve wanted to have fun. As in, sneak into a dark corner and let me have my wicked way with her fun.

“Oh…”

She smiled up at me and wiggled her eyebrows, “Yeah, oh.”

I sat up, crossing my legs and planting my hands in my lap. I wanted to see her and really understand whatever evil idea she’d concocted. “Fill me in, I’m all ears.”

She sat up too, only pulling the blanket around her waist. She fumbled around and found my shirt again, but left it hanging open so I could enjoy the sight of her breasts.

“Well, as we are both aware, you and I very much enjoy a certain high-risk level of PDA. And that PDA has been sorely missing from our lives for several weeks now. I miss it, I crave it.” She blushed again. “I was thinking our honeymoon was an excellent chance to rekindle things.”

My blood was pumping hard, most of it straight to my cock. I was thinking of a hundred things at once (all sexual). Places, scenarios, clothing choices… the list was overwhelming. “I like where your head is at.” She still wasn’t looking right at me. Her eyes were unfocused like she was thinking of something very specific in her head. “Eve, what’s up?”

Her eyes darted to mine and she chewed the corner of her lip. “I may have a little game for us to try… but it could be stupid.”

I was pretty sure “sex”, “game”, and “stupid” did not belong in the same sentence together. “Just tell me what it is. I won’t laugh, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

She licked her lips and took a deep breath. My shirt was swallowing her, the sleeves were dangling past her fingers and my collar pushed up into her hair, which was still wild and everywhere. “I was thinking we could each make a little list. Maybe wishes? Or challenges?” her voice dropped at the second suggestion.

“As in, I get to pick things for you to try to accomplish?” I really hoped that was what she meant, because I really liked that idea.

She nodded, “Something like that.”

My cock twitched a little under the blanket. It was entering heat seeking missile mode. All these dirty thoughts of doing it with Eve all over the Caribbean were making it go haywire. “Let’s do it.” I already had a list a mile long.

Eve on a balcony.

Eve on the plane. Could we do it on the plane? Did people actually get away with that?

On a beach, or in the water, or on a hike…

Smoke may have been coming out of my ears at that point. The male brain can’t handle that much sexual freedom all at once.

“Alright, well first we should agree to some rules.”

“Rules?” I was pretty sure I had a perma-grin plastered to my face. It might not come off for a few months.

“Yes, rules.” She rolled her eyes. She knew I was off on Fantasy Island. “Focus. We each pick challenges. They have to be attainable or it won’t be any fun. And they have to be different.”

“Agreed. When should I give you my challenges?”

Her eyes twinkled a little and she smiled. It was the slow sexy kind of smile that made me want to do very naughty things with her. “On our wedding day. I’ll send you my list while you’re waiting to marry me. It will give you something to keep your mind off selling me your soul.”

I huffed, “I sold you my soul a long, long time ago, darlin’. But I wouldn’t mind spending the day dreaming up ways to make your fantasies come true.”

She gasped and swallowed. Apparently my words had an effect on her.

“I hope you’re ready for round two, because I’m coming for you,” I warned a split second before I rolled up onto my knees and prowled across the mattress. When I was over her body and looking down at her sweet lips, I stopped long enough to kiss her before I had my way with her.

Not that she minded.

11

EVE

“You’re doing what?” Jennie gasped.

We were getting pedicures. Our feet were soaking in glorious hot tubs of water while our backs were being massaged by the machines inside the black chairs we were sitting in. There was soft music playing and the sweet scent of flowers floating through the air.

Oh, and I was so relaxed I’d decided to tell my best friend about my sex ideas for my honeymoon.

Brilliant.

Not that I didn’t tend to share most of my life, including my sex life, with Jennie, but I wasn’t in the mood for her barrage of questions. I was even less in the mood for what was more than likely her list of ideas. Jennie’s ideas were always bad. Just… bad. There was no other way to describe it.

“It’s not that big a deal. It’s just supposed to be fun. You know, make things a little more interesting.”

She shook her head, rolled her eyes, and took a long drag of her wine. “Don’t get me wrong, it sounds like a lot of fun. I’m just surprised. You and Jake don’t seem like you need to spice things up.”

I leaned back against the head rest as the kneading hands of the chair worked my shoulders. “I thought you had me figured out by now, Doctor Jennie. I tend to overcompensate sexually when I’m feeling vulnerable.”

When she didn’t answer, I looked over at her. She was leaned over the arm of her chair, her chin in her hand, concentrating. “Is this about the ex?”

Ugh. Ashley. “Probably.”

“I still can’t believe she showed up on your doorstep like that. What do they put in the water over there?”

“I don’t know,” I replied, “but it better be the last surprise to show up on my doorstep for a long, long time.”

“She was really that pretty?”

I groaned and sunk further down in my chair. It didn’t matter that Jake was mine. And it totally didn’t matter that I was perfectly happy with my own appearance. The other woman in my man’s life was pretty.

“Gorgeous. I still can’t get over the hair. Who has hair that shade of red? I wanted to stare at it.” No, actually, I wanted to play with it. Every once in a while I was such a girl.

Jennie flopped back in her seat and made some sort of grunting noise. “Well, Jake always did have great taste. Would it have been better or worse if she was hideous?”

Did it matter? “I think the bigger issue is what is underneath the red hair, perfect pale skin, and bright green eyes. I swear she is as different from me as possible.”

“You mean she actually trusts her best friend?”

Ouch. Maybe I deserved the dig, but did it have to be while talking about Ashley? “For the millionth time… I’m sorry! My party was amazing and you did a great job. I should have trusted you. Thank you and I’m sorry.”

Jennie was grinning, “I forgive you. You should know full well by now I know you inside and out. I gave you a perfect night for you. I expect the same courtesy when it’s my turn.”

“Strippers?” Strippers were definitely up Jennie’s alley.

She closed her eyes and sighed, “Oh, yeah. Give me some hot guys missing their clothes!”

Maybe I should plan a weekend in Vegas for Jennie. I wasn’t so sure Tampa could handle Jennie’s fantasies. “You’ve got it. I am your slave.”

“Finally. But seriously, tell me about the bitch. Get it off your chest. I know you’ve got all kinds of crazy suppressed inside.”

I took another long sip of wine and adjusted the massager to work on my lower back. Sex with Jake last night had been fantastic and sleeping on the porch listening to the rain had essentially been a fantasy come true, but my back was arguing with me a bit more than usual.

“I don’t know, I barely met her. I just got the impression she was two different people. She wears this mask of sweetness and fragility, but I know that isn’t who she is.”

“Why?”

“Sweet and fragile people don’t hold their own with Greg. He eats them for breakfast or ignores them like they don’t exist. He and Ashley can’t stand each other. I watched them fight, her mask is only skin deep.”

I wanted to tell Jennie why Greg hated Ashley, but it didn’t feel right. I wasn’t sure if it was where we were, or the timing, or what… but I held back that conversation. Maybe I just needed more time to digest it.

“If she pisses off Greg that much it could be fun to watch them at a party one day.”

Did Jennie have a death wish? I shot her an evil glare and she held up her hands. “Sorry. Bad idea…”

Jennie absolutely hated having her feet touched. She winced and jerked throughout the entire pedicure. “Seriously, you are the strangest person. Why do you get pedicures?” I asked her.

She shrugged. “I like everything else. And when I’m done I have pretty feet! Besides, you’re one to talk.”

“Me?” I scoffed. I knew exactly what she was talking about, but I was pleading ignorance.

“You swore you’d never do it again. Swore. And by swore I mean you cursed like a sailor and called me the worst best friend in all of eternity. And yet here you are…”

“What?” I asked innocently.

“I can’t believe you’re doing it.” She shook her head and looked me up and down.

She could look all she wanted because I was doing it. I’d made my decision. “I’m only getting the bikini done this time.” I could handle it. Last time, many, many years ago, Jennie had convinced me to get a Brazilian bikini wax. She loved them and got them all the time. She raved, went on and on about the virtues and how it really didn’t hurt that much.

“Who was I dating then? Is it bad I can’t even remember his name?”

“Brandon.”

“Ohhhh….. yeah. I remember him now. The guy who liked wind surfing in the bay. He was crazy.”

Brandon had been handsome enough. He had that blondish—I spend all my spare time outside—tan and rugged good looks. He was fun—that was why I’d dated him: he took me on one wild adventure after another. And he’d had a thing for my lady parts. He raved about them and thought they were gorgeous. I thought his enthusiasm was a bit weird. But we were going on a week-long trip to the beach, and Jennie convinced me I should give Brandon an eyeful.

Saying I swore like a pirate was probably being nice.

It had been hell. Why anyone intentionally did that to themselves baffled me. Every time I looked at Jennie in a bikini I couldn’t stop thinking about that experience. Why did it seem so horrendous to me and barely phase her?

Maybe her vagina was made of stainless steel.

Jennie giggled then winced, yanking her foot away from the woman performing the pedicure. “Sorry… again…” The woman just shook her head and took Jennie’s foot back.

“We’re spending two weeks in bathing suits; I’m just getting a little bikini wax. It will be fine.”

Luckily Jennie let it go. We were quiet for a little while and it was nice getting pampered. But Jennie was Jennie, and she couldn’t keep quiet for too long. It just wasn’t in her nature. “No second thoughts? I don’t have to worry about a runaway bride or anything, right?”

I rolled my eyes. “God, no. The only thing driving me crazy is the whole long, drawn out process. Let’s just get me hitched already.”

“You’re not nervous?”

“Not about Jake,” I said quietly.

“What are you nervous about?”

“Life,” I confessed. “I just want him to have the life he deserves.”

Jennie leaned back over and made eyes at me. “Awww, you two are so cute. You’ve got the lovey dovey filters on.”

I wrinkled my nose up at her. I didn’t like the idea that my feelings for Jake were fake or altered. “You’re telling me you wouldn’t do whatever it took to make Andrew happy?”

Jennie’s eyebrows shot up. “Touché.”

“I know Jake can take care of himself, but I don’t want him to have to. Does that make sense?”

Jennie smiled at me. “Absolutely. You love him, he’s your man. You’ll walk through fire, climb mountains, and fend off hoards of zombies for his happiness, because his happiness is your happiness. His heart is your heart.”

“Fuck,” I swore under my breath. “Yeah, that.” My chest actually ached a little thinking about it.

“That’s why Greg calls you The Annihilator.”

“He says what now?” I blurted out as I sat straight up in my chair. She had to be kidding. I mean, obviously Greg loved giving people nicknames, he and I together were a dangerous combination, but he’d given me a nickname… and I didn’t even know about it?

“He calls you ‘The Annihilator’,” she said leaning back in her chair and closing her eyes, “because it’s who you are. You destroy anything that gets in your path, and you’re even worse when it comes to Jake. You two are adorably protective of each other. It’s not a bad thing.”

The thing was, I kind of loved that Greg had a nickname for me. I loved even more that it felt right. I desperately wanted to make Jake happy. Anything that got in the way of that… well, I was prepared to go to great lengths to eliminate it. I remembered Greg’s words from lunch and realized just how seriously he meant them. Heaven help anyone who gets between you and Jake.

* * *

Thursday morning Jake and I loaded into the Orange Beast, Jake’s refurbished orange Ford Bronco, for the drive south to my parent’s house. The weather was perfect. The cold front had cooled everything off for the customary twenty-four hours and it was warming up nicely.

“Cassandra, Tim, and the boys are already there. June is flying in tonight because she couldn’t get out of her morning class. And Tom is flying in late Friday. Greg is getting him from the airport and driving him down Saturday morning.” I tucked the schedule back into my bag and leaned back in the seat, letting the air whip around me.

“Sounds like everything is covered, darlin’. You should start relaxing.”

All I could do was laugh at his suggestion. There would be no relaxing until Sunday morning. Well… maybe there’d be some relaxing late Saturday night, after the wedding…

I looked over at Jake. He was grinning from ear to ear. There was a light stubble on his face that only made him more handsome, dark sunglasses, and a Ray’s baseball cap covered his dark hair. He’d let it grow a little longer over the winter and the ends of it were curling. He looked more relaxed and carefree when his hair was longer. Younger. It was a beautiful day, cool in the shade but warm in the sun. He was wearing jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows.

“I have a present for you.” I said it so softly I was afraid he didn’t hear me at first.

But then he smiled. “I have a present for you, too.”

“I want to give you mine before the wedding, if that’s alright with you.”

He nodded slowly, “Ok…”

I wasn’t entirely sure what was coming over me, but I had a sudden intense urge to give him his present right then. He glanced over at me. “You want me to pull over, don’t you?”

I bit my lip and nodded, “It’s like Christmas. It’s burning a hole in my pocket. How the hell did you make it a whole week in the Bahamas’ with an engagement ring around your neck?”

He was thoroughly pleased with himself, the cocky bastard. His smile just about ripped his face in two. “I hear that patience is a virtue, and since I have so few, I thought I might practice that one.”

“Jake, it is entirely possible you have more patience than any man alive. It’s kind of infuriating.”

Five minutes later he pulled off the interstate at possibly the most unromantic location possible: a barren parking lot in the middle of nowhere. But we were alone and I was absolutely giddy.

“Eve, you’re vibrating. Take a deep breath.”

“Oh shut it, Mr. Cool, Calm, and Collected. I’m excited.” I pulled the black box out of my bag and turned it over in my hands a few times. I was more than excited, I was a little nervous. I didn’t just want to be Jake’s wife; I wanted to be his family. This gift was a little symbol of what family meant to me and I just hoped it helped him feel part of something bigger for a change.

I didn’t look up at him. Instead, I kept my eyes on the box as I explained his gift. “Have you ever heard my family talk about our ‘happy thoughts’?”

He shook his head slowly. “Not really. Maybe?”

“Do you know what a ‘happy thought’ is?” I asked.

“A thought that is happy?” he chuckled.

“It’s from Peter Pan. Think of a happy thought and with a little magic, you can fly. In my family we have a tradition. We keep our happy thoughts around us. They are usually pictures or objects, but whatever we pick, they’re something that makes us smile the instant we see it. A happy thought makes you feel like you can get through a bad day or gives you courage to keep going, but it is also a silent cheerleader. Every time you see your happy thought, you stop and take stock in what is going on around you, where you’re headed, and how you’re getting there. You can make your own happy thoughts, but sometimes we give them to each other as gifts, as well.” I took a deep breath and held the box out to Jake. “This is my happy thought, for you.”

My heart was thudding inside my chest so hard it hurt. I wanted to cry and laugh and hug Jake until he felt as loved as he made me.

His green eyes were a little wider than normal as he took the box from my hands. “The picture of me you keep on the visor in your car?”

“A happy thought,” I replied with a smile.

“And the lock screen on your iPad… it’s of you and your sisters at a game when you were kids.”

“A happy thought, too. I keep one inside my Kindle case in my nightstand, under my keyboard at work, and the bottom of my underwear drawer.”

“Your underwear drawer?” he asked, chuckling.

“Yep. When I’m late for work and freaking out, it’s nice to have a picture of my dad showing me how to swing a bat to remind me to slow down. The world will still turn even if I’m a few minutes late.”

Jake looked at the box in his hands for a long minute before saying anything else. He looked like he was just absorbing the idea. “Your necklace—the sunburst—that was my happy thought for a lot of years.”

The necklace was around my neck and I pulled it out from under my sweater so Jake could see it. “And now, it’s mine. Open yours.”

He gave me a cocky half-grin and opened the box. Inside was a silver and black Tag Heuer watch. “My happy thought is a time piece?” he asked eyeing me carefully.

I grinned and reached out for the watch, taking it out of the box.

“Hey, get your grubby hands off my present, woman,” he grumbled, batting away my hands and taking back the watch.

“Turn it over,” I replied. My heart was going to beat out of my chest if he didn’t hurry up.

Jake released the clasp on the wrist band and flipped the watch over so that it was resting in the palm of his hand. A slow grin pulled up on the corners of his lips. “I love you so much it hurts. Thank you.”

“You like it?”

He didn’t say anything, just stared at the watch in his hands, running his thumb back and forth across the sunburst I’d had engraved on the back. It took me five jewelers to find someone who would do it. I never thought getting something engraved would be so hard, but it was. Inside of the sunburst there was an inscription: Follow the sun, it will always lead you back to me.

He slowly strapped the watch onto his wrist, then looked at the way it sat on his arm. He still didn’t say anything as he reached out for the necklace around my neck, holding it in the palm of his hand and fighting a sea of emotions. He finally looked up, locking eyes with me. It took my breath away. His eyes were a little wild; the green was almost mixed with a shade of blue. It was like a storm. A beautiful, perfect storm. “Thank you,” he said quietly. “It’s perfect.”

12

JAKE

There are three things I have indelibly etched into my brain from our wedding day. One was seeing Eve in the window of her parent’s bedroom. The second was hearing her accidentally change our wedding vows. And the third was watching her come apart beneath me for the very first time as my wife.

I’d never been so overwhelmed. If it was anything like being a celebrity, then I never wanted to be famous.

There was always someone who wanted to talk to me (most I’d never met before) and there was always someone who needed something. Then there were the pictures. My face hurt from smiling so damn much.

Greg, Tom, and I were standing on the back porch trying to get a few minutes alone. It was good to see my uncle and to be together with the two men I considered my family.

Tom was shorter than me, but he was scary as hell. He was one of those guys who exuded power. You could feel it before he moved or spoke, it just surrounded him. And then, when he did finally speak, it confirmed everything your senses were telling you.

You didn’t fuck with Tom.

He fidgeted while he stood next to Greg, pulling at his collar and constantly readjusting his cuffs. He was not a suit and tie kind of guy. His graying hair was cut very short, his skin was weathered, and his brown eyes were the kind that cut through everything.

I loved working for him. He was a no-nonsense kind of guy which was a huge part of his success. There was never any question where you stood with Tom.

“Should I sit you down and give you a talk about what’s going to happen tonight?” Greg had such a serious expression on his face I actually second guessed whether he was joking or not. Maybe there was something else planned for our wedding night I didn’t know about yet?

He and Tom traded “a look” and then both looked back at me expectantly.

“What?” I finally asked.

“Well you see,” Greg started. He was so serious I didn’t see it coming. “She’s going to have a lot of expectations. It is a big night in the life of a woman and it is your responsibility to take care of her.” Tom was nodding along and looking very concerned. “You’re gonna want to hump her like a rabbit, but you’ve got to stop yourself.”

Asshole. Only Greg could pull off shit like that with such a serious face. “Fuck off.”

Greg and Tom both laughed at me. They were both assholes. Tom put his hand on my arm. “Seriously son, have you two talked about protection?”

I rolled my eyes. “I think we might have it covered.” Truth was I wouldn’t be devastated if we got pregnant. Having a kid with Eve would never be an accident.

“Do you have any questions?” Tom was almost as bad as Greg, but he was having trouble covering his smile.

I just shook my head. There was no stopping them until they got it all out of their systems. Maybe it was time for a whiskey.

“You two didn’t do something stupid like abstain all week so your wedding night would be more ‘special’, did you?” Greg said it with a high-pitched voice.

Now I knew I needed a whiskey. I flagged down a waiter I saw flying by us with a tray of drinks. “Whiskey, please.”

“Bring the bottle,” Tom said.

“Well did you?” Greg asked, looking pointedly at me. It was beyond me why he cared how much sex Eve and I were having.

“Do you know Eve at all, moron?” I shook my head and adjusted my tux.

Tom laughed, “I like her. She’s got spunk.”

The truth was, nothing was different. We’d tried damn hard to make sure we were as normal as possible. We’d even slept in the same bed last night. I was supposed to leave before she woke up… but I didn’t. I was pretty sure she was going to make me pay for that one.

But it was so worth it. I was awake before my alarm went off and I had one thing on my mind. My bride. She woke up to my tongue and my fingers teasing her into orgasm. I was almost positive she was asleep until just before it happened, because all of a sudden her fingers were in my hair as she tilted her hips against my lips. She was gasping and coming. It was perfect.

And then she yelled at me.

A lot.

Only Eve would get mad at a wake-up call like that. I grabbed my stuff and ducked out of the door while she hid under the sheet. In my defense, I never looked at her face.

“Jakey-poo!” June was running from the house waving an envelope in the air. Her blond hair was down in long waves and her yellow dress was floating around her as she ran.

I swore under my breath and jogged over to meet Eve’s youngest sister.

“Give me that…” I said, grabbing it from her hands.

She scowled at me. “You two are so weird. It’s just a letter. My money is on a torrid secret she’s never told you before. The guilt is killing her, so she’s confessing before you make a huge mistake.”

Oh my little, innocent Junebug. If she only knew what was inside that envelope. I pulled my matching envelope out of my tuxedo jacket and leaned in. “If you call a list of places we want to have sex on our honeymoon a ‘last minute confession’ go right ahead. But I’d prefer you stop waving these in the air. Please.”

She scrunched up her face like I’d just handed her a bucket of vomit and took the letter, pressing it against her chest. “Gross.”

Maybe. But it was damn hot and fucking fun. “Just deliver the letter, June. And this.” I handed her a small giftwrapped box.

She stuck her tongue out at me and left. When I turned around, Tom was gone and Greg was wandering toward the reception tent with our bottle of whiskey.

Since our “quick” wedding had become a rather massive affair there was a pre-wedding party going on in the tent for all the guests being bussed in from hotels and the mainland.

I could catch-up with Greg and Tom later—I wanted to see what Eve sent me.

I glanced up at the window and saw her outline. She was there and I knew she was watching me, but I was almost positive she didn’t know I could see her. She looked beautiful. There was a smile on her face and her dark hair was loose and wild the way I liked it. It always made me think she was ready for anything. I grinned and winked up at her just before I looked back down at the letter.

There was only one line and it was full of pure evil: I hear patience is a virtue, you should practice.

I resisted the urge to crumple the card in my fist as raw sexual frustration raced through my veins. Eve knew me far too well. If there was one way to drive me crazy and want her more than I already did, it was to dangle mystery sex in front of me.

When I glanced back up at the window I could see her much clearer than before. Sometimes I wasn’t sure what I believed about life and death, but when I looked at Eve, I knew I believed in one thing.

I believed in angels.

It was the easiest way to explain how I felt about her. She showed me a life I didn’t know I could have. She believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself.

She helped save me from myself and that sounded an awful lot like an angel to me.

13

EVE

June returned with my envelope from Jake. “You two are weird.” She thrust the envelope and a box into my waiting hands and turned to leave.

“You’re just jealous,” I teased her back.

She turned at the doorway to stick her finger down her throat and fake a few gagging noises. “I’m surrounded by a bunch of love freaks!”

I didn’t argue. I just tucked the letter into my bag to read later. The exchanging of cards wasn’t really for me—it was for Jake. I knew the day was going to be overwhelming and I thought the letter would help serve as a distraction. Based on the grin I just saw through the window, I had succeeded.

Then I looked at the box in my hands. It was wrapped in thick cream paper with a blue bow on top. It wasn’t large, just big enough to fit in the palm of my hand. It must have been gift-wrapped. I couldn’t imagine Jake with his large hands folding the expensive paper so precisely. I set the envelope aside and pulled at the corners of my gift. Inside was a box with the distinctive blue of Tiffany’s.

My heart was racing as I opened it, but it fell into my stomach and stopped beating altogether as I saw what was cradled inside. Sitting against the satin fabric was a gold necklace. Hanging from the chain, encrusted in diamonds, was a perfect golden sun. There was a small card tucked in beside it.

For special occasions and new happy thoughts.

I love you.

I touched the necklace he’d given me last year. I was already wearing it, and had planned on wearing it down the aisle. It wasn’t nearly as fancy or expensive as this new necklace, but it was perfect because Jake gave it to me. I sat and stared at my present for a few minutes. The contrast between the two was hitting me hard. The necklace around my neck was a tie to our past, but it was also a testament to our journey. The necklace in my hands was precious and beautiful, like our future.

With a deep breath and a lot of emotions I was trying desperately to wrangle, I pulled the delicate necklace out and walked over to the mirror.

I didn’t take off my old necklace. Instead, I put the new one on and let them dangle around my neck side by side. Our past and our future. Our inner demons beside our outer façade. There was no telling where the next ten years were going to take us. Most of the time that idea thrilled me. It seemed so full of love and possibilities.

But sometimes it scared the crap out of me.

There was so much uncertainty. So many different ways our lives could unfold, and every day I was more connected to Jake.

Just as I tucked Jake’s envelope and box into my bag for the hotel, Jennie and Cassandra drifted into the room wearing gowns nearly identical to June’s. Jennie’s blonde hair was swept up into a bun while Cassandra’s dark hair was down in waves like June’s.

“Everything seems to be going well. We should be on schedule for the wedding of the year!” Jennie grinned at me.

I was apparently silly to think our fast wedding would turn off most potential guests. Instead, the opposite happened. Everyone was thrilled to help pull off our wedding and determined to be there to see it happen. It was overwhelming and I was definitely nervous about having such a big day.

Honestly, it had turned into a circus. January was the height of the busy tourist season on the islands, so most of the hotels were already booked. My parents called in every favor they could manage and found most of the guests somewhere to stay, the rest were staying off-island in Fort Myers. We’d hired cars and vans to ferry guests to and from their respective hotels to the house. We lived on an island—there was no way we were ever going to park three-hundred cars.

Guests were arriving in shifts so my parents arranged a pre-party. I could hear the soft sounds of the DJ playing music in the reception tent. There were party games, cocktails, and food.

Not that I cared about any of it.

All I cared about was marrying Jake.

And while I was nervous about the fuss everyone was making, I wasn’t the least bit worried about the monumental thing we were about to do. I knew without a doubt marrying Jake was right.

Cassandra flitted around to check my hair. “You’re perfect, Evie.”

I’d taken Jake at his word when he said he wanted to see me in a sexy white dress. “I hope Jake likes it.”

She and Jennie traded smiles. “Sister dear, I’m not sure if you know this, but your groom would love you in just about anything. He’s kind of got blinders on when it comes to you. I think he’d find you sexy in a garbage bag.”

She had a point. It wasn’t about the dress, though. Even I knew that. I wanted today to be perfect. Not for me, but for Jake. He said this wedding was for me, and it was, but it was also for him. There were very few nice, normal traditions in his life. Having a dream wedding was something I could give him. I wanted everything to go smoothly.

“Alright, we need to get you in that dress so we can start in on pictures.”

It wasn’t a hard dress to put on, but like everything else with this wedding, it was a process clouded with emotions.

As I wiggled into the backless dress with Cassandra on one side and Jennie on the other, I knew these memories were going to stay with me forever.

They stepped back and did that thing where they scrunched up their faces to stop the tears, but it didn’t work. Cassandra broke first and I was gonna blame it on her mommy-hormones, but Jennie was right behind her.

“Guys, come on. This is supposed to be a happy day. You’re starting to make me feel weird.”

Jennie hugged me. “You’re such an idiot sometimes. We are crying because we’re so happy we can’t keep it in.”

Cassandra was nodding her head vehemently. “So happy.”

That was when my mom walked in. She stopped dead in her tracks and clapped her hand over her mouth as she did the same face scrunchy thing.

“That’s it!” I yelled. “All three of you, downstairs. I’ll see you for pictures and nothing else. Send in June.”

I heard her telltale snicker from the hallway. “Move along criers, move along.” She waved them out of the room and shut the door. “I gotcha, no worries. Now, let’s make sure you are picture perfect.”

She and I went over my hair and makeup, double checked my dress and underwear, then she helped me into my flip flops. Yes, I said flip flops. I was getting married on the beach, it was either barefoot (which was my choice) or flip flops. I’d been talked into the shoes. Apparently it was “safer”. Something about no one wanting an emergency on my wedding day.

I argued the point that I never wore shoes outside of work and I’d live if I stepped on something, but I was overruled.

“It’s not too late to back out. I can smuggle you out the front.”

“June, what the hell? This is my wedding day and all you’ve done is act like—” I stopped and looked my baby sister up and down. Her eyes were sad, her shoulders slumped, and her smile was obviously forced. “Did someone break your heart?”

She shifted uncomfortably and looked away. June obviously had something happen to her and was trying to hide it with all the wedding chaos going on around her.

“Not exactly. I was an idiot, ok? I shouldn’t have been so stupid.”

I definitely didn’t like the sound of that. “Sit, tell me all about it.”

She glared at me and crossed her arms. “I’m supposed to get you downstairs in five minutes for pictures.”

“Then make it quick.” I stared her down with my very best Big Sister eyes. “Sit.”

She huffed, but sat down. “I’m telling you, I was stupid and I’ll get over it.”

“You don’t have to give me all the details, just explain why you’re hurting.”

She shifted around and all I wanted to do was hug her, but I knew June better than that. She would stiffen up and push me away. She’d put her guard back up and it would be the end of everything. So I resisted my sisterly urge to love her and gave her space.

“I got involved with someone I knew wasn’t available.”

“Married?”

She shook her head, “Oh, god no. Nothing like that. Just, not available for a relationship or feelings or anything like that. We agreed to just keep things light, we saw each other as friends and we were experimenting with some fun on the side…”

She wouldn’t meet my eyes and her cheeks flushed. “June, you’re a beautiful twenty year old woman. I’m not going to judge your choices. You are old enough to know what you need.”

She smiled a little and shrugged her shoulders. “Thanks. Bottom line, I knew better. I knew I liked him too much. Things got complicated and we had a huge fight before I left to come here.”

Now that she’d poured out her heart, I tackle hugged her. I wrapped my arms around her and tucked her head against my shoulder. “Boys are stupid. I’m sorry you had to come to my wedding when your own heart was hurting.”

June pulled away and wiped a stray tear from the corner of her eye. She hated crying as much as I did so I was surprised to see her so worked up. June must really like this guy. “Is there anything I can do? Any advice I can give? As you may or may not know, I’m kind of experienced at complicated relationships.” I was hoping the self-deprecation would help lighten things.

She looked around the room and shrugged. “Is it worth it?”

“Is what worth it?” I asked. This was a very important question and I didn’t want to misunderstand her.

“Relationships. I have friends and family... do I really need a relationship?”

“A funny question to ask on my wedding day.”

She smiled. “I’m cool like that. It’s a trick question designed to make sure you’re really ready to get hitched.”

The truth in her statement made me want to hug her until her heart stopped hurting, but I knew all too well it wouldn’t help. The only thing that helps heartaches like that is time.

“June, life is a crazy bitch. There is nothing fair or easy about it. If you find someone who makes you hopeful even when there’s no hope, if he makes you want to be a better person, and if he is willing to give everything for your happiness, then yes. But anything less will just break your heart and bring you down. You need someone to weather the storm with, not be the storm. Life is going to get hard and when that happens, having someone at your side can make it easier to survive. So when you think you’re falling in love, step back and ask yourself, is he someone who will help you survive, or someone you have to survive.”

“I’m really happy you’re getting married to Jake.” She forced a smile onto her face, but I knew her words were genuine.

“Me too.”

14

JAKE

Greg and I were playing darts on the back porch when Tom walked up. “Can I steal the groom for a few minutes?”

“As long as you get him drunk,” Greg said with a shrug. “He’s far too sober for what he’s about to do.”

Greg could fuck off. I never could understand why he was always so intent on getting me drunk. “We can talk in here,” I replied, leading my uncle into the sitting room of Joe and Mara’s house. Eve and her family were off doing pictures in the garden and I’d been told to stay away.

The sitting room had tall windows on two sides overlooking the beach. There were two simple blue couches facing each other and two white arm chairs with a dark wood coffee table in the middle. China and antiques dotted the furniture and walls and heavy blue curtains hung around the windows.

I took a seat on the couch facing the door and Tom took the chair beside me. He leaned forward over his knees and clasped his hands together. “I just wanted to have a few minutes alone with you. I haven’t seen in you months, it’s been weird.”

Tom was always busy. It wasn’t as if I saw him all the time when I worked for him, but now I never saw him. “I miss you, too. But I don’t miss the work and I don’t miss the desert.” If I set foot in the Middle East ever again, it would be too soon. In fact, I didn’t think I ever wanted to visit another desert. I hoped that was ok with Eve.

“I don’t blame you. It was never your thing. In my defense, I tried to get you to leave for years.”

“That you did.”

I got the feeling Tom was working up to something. He wasn’t the most expressive man I’d ever met, he never minced words, but he typically got his point across.

“I have something I want to say—something I should have said a long time ago…” he paused, looking everywhere but at me before finally spitting it out. “I should have gotten you out of that house a lot sooner. I’m sorry.”

I never wanted or expected an apology like that from my uncle, so his words knocked me on my ass. “Don’t be ridiculous, you have nothing to apologize for.”

He looked right into my eyes. “I don’t want to debate this, son. This isn’t a heart-to-heart conversation. This is me telling you I’m sorry. I should have gotten you out of there sooner. Period. And that’s the beginning and end of this conversation.”

He stared me down, daring me to say another word, but I knew better than that. Tom said what he needed to say, and that was final. “Ok.”

He nodded once and took a deep breath. “Good. You’re a good kid and I’ve never wanted anything but the best for you. I’m very proud of you and the work you’ve done and I can’t wait to see what you and Eve do with your lives.”

I kind of strangely liked it when Tom called me “son”. I knew it was as much a general comment on my age as an actual endearment, but considering I’d disowned my real father and thought of Tom as my next best alternative, it felt good to hear.

“Thank you, sir.”

“So don’t fuck it up.” He said it so bluntly.

“Trust me, I won’t,” I replied slowly. I really wasn’t sure where Tom was going with this.

He cracked his neck and rubbed his palms together before replying. “Look, Greg told me what’s going on with Ashley. You need to put her on the next plane to Timbuktu, not sit in meetings talking to her.”

This was about Ashley? Well at least it was something manageable. “We are all adults. I can handle her just fine, sir.”

Tom rolled his eyes. “I’m not questioning your ability to handle her, Jake. I’m asking why you are bothering with it.” He sighed and ran his free hand through his short hair, swearing under his breath. “Why is she here? Appearing out of nowhere with no warning? Pushing a business deal? Nothing but trouble will come out of having her in Tampa.”

It was one thing to listen to Greg complain about Ashley, but it was quite another to hear it from Tom. My uncle didn’t sit around talking about the weather. If he was bringing it up it was because he was genuinely concerned.

And if Tom was genuinely concerned then I needed to stop and really listen to what he had to say, whether I liked it or not.

And I really didn’t like it.

He sighed, looking like saying this was about as much fun for him as it was for me. “I think you’re giving her a free pass now because you feel bad for her. But she’s not you, Jake. She’s more damaged than you ever were. Most of us can’t get knocked down and get right back up. But you can. No matter how many times you got knocked down, you always got back up. For you, there is, and always will be, a solution. It is who you are and nothing, not even your dad, could change that. But Ashley isn’t like you. She’s different. And her past has ruined her. Having her near you is toxic, but having her around your new life—and the woman who is about to become your wife—is simply not worth it.”

Tom was absolutely right about one thing: Ashley was more fucked up than I was. But I found it hard to write her (or anyone else) off as a lost cause. I always sympathized with her because, like me, her past wasn’t her choice. We were both trying to find a way to survive a life we didn’t ask to live. But was having her in Tampa toxic? I couldn’t imagine anything coming between me and Eve, certainly not a few days of Ashley.

“And I should never trust a red head.” I joked because I really needed a moment to cover my thoughts.

Tom barked out a laugh, slapping his hand against his thigh. “You do listen to me. Bottom line, I want you and Eve to have the best shot, and that means overstepping my bounds from time to time to tell you what I think is best for you, son.”

Maybe I was giving Ashley a free pass because I wanted to help, but that was all it was, or ever would be. It was nice of Tom to worry about us, but there was nothing to worry about. Eve and I were fine, and Ashley was a non-factor. “I’m glad you’re here today. Thank you for coming.”

“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” It was probably the closest Tom and I would ever come to saying something sentimental.

The door to the sitting room suddenly opened and Greg popped his head in, “Hey buttercup! You guys done in here yet?”

“You feeling lonely, sweetheart?” I teased him back.

Greg stepped all the way inside, his whiskey glass permanently attached to his hand. “Fuck yeah. It isn’t fair when you two play without me on the playground.”

“I’m sorry. Do you need your dolly?”

Greg snorted and took a swig of his drink. “Naw, but you might. It’s time, buttercup. Let’s go get you hitched.”

15

EVE

“You get twenty minutes. Not a minute longer.” I glared at my mother. She was being impossible.

“Thirty.”

“No. You said this would take thirty minutes and I’ve been smiling for over an hour. There are only so many pictures that can be taken in one day and I’m already at my limit!”

“You haven’t even taken pictures with Jake yet!”

“Which is why you get twenty more minutes after the ceremony.”

She crossed her arms and looked me up and down. She was trying to figure out how serious I was being. “Fine.”

“I’m serious mother, I’m walking at exactly twenty minutes. This is my wedding day and I am not going to miss out on enjoying it because you want a picture of my hair from fifteen different angles!”

She stopped and got all misty eyed on me again. She was going to be the death of me. Every single time someone said “wedding day” or “bride” or even “Eve”, she turned into a tear factory.

Jennie saw my frustration and stepped in, “Come on, Mara, let’s make sure the flowers are ready.”

My mother nodded and allowed Jennie to lead her away. June had disappeared sometime after the first round of pictures so it was just Cassandra and me. “It’s almost over and you and your groom can ride off alone into the sunset.” She smiled and adjusted my hair again.

“He tricked me this morning, you know. He didn’t leave when he was supposed to.”

Cassandra faked a look of shock. “Heaven’s no! Don’t tell me the man hopelessly in love with you was still in your bed this morning. For shame!”

I chuckled. “Even worse. He woke me up with his mouth.”

At first my sister shrugged and then paused. She arched her eyebrow and looked me up and down. “Really? What a fantastic wedding present.”

“It really was. But I’m not letting him know that for a while.”

“Evil.”

I shrugged. Teasing Jake was one of my joys in life.

Dad came around the corner. He was trying to smile, but he was failing miserably. “Daughter! Are you ready for this?”

“I am.” I slid my hand into the crook of his arm while my sister took the other.

He looked from me to Cassandra and back again. “I’m about to have two married daughters. It’s hard to believe.”

I rested my cheek against his strong shoulder as we walked slowly toward our waiting guests.

“You act like it’s a bad thing, Dad,” Cassandra laughed. We always gave him a hard time because if he had his way, we’d still be eight and living at home.

“No, you both picked fine men. I’m proud of both of you and the lives you’re building. It’s just… I don’t like change.”

I lifted my head up. “Now see, if you all had let me get married in Vegas instead, I could have spared Dad all this drama!”

He shook his head and put his arm over my shoulder. “Oh no, you can’t rob me of my opportunity to walk you down the aisle.”

My mom rushed toward us with bouquets in each hand and June right behind her. “Everything is ready. You say the word and we’ll get started.”

I smiled at my family. We were only missing Jake. “I’m ready.”

It was the middle of January so the weather was chilly and the blue skies were completely clear. An arch covered in wild flowers stood at one end, with a semicircle of white chairs around it. There was an aisle of sand carefully raked for the procession.

My dad wasn’t talking, I knew he was too choked up. He’d rather just keep things quiet, besides there was no need for words between us. I, on the other hand, was quite ready to get this over.

I smiled, looking back and forth, taking a moment to say hello, until my eyes fell on Jake.

So many guests standing had hidden him from me until we were halfway down the aisle.

It didn’t matter how many times I’d spied on him throughout the day, seeing Jake this close took my breath away. I could see the creases around his eyes from smiling, and his dimple.

I was deliriously happy and so was he. In a few minutes we were going to officially be married. No more feeling like we were already married and no more promises or expectations. This was it.

Time seemed to slip away from me, moving at breakneck speed one moment and crawling the next. My heart was racing and everything seemed surreal, like I was floating, not walking.

Greg was standing beside Jake with an equally silly grin on his face, and beside Greg was Tom, who was as choked up as my dad.

My father stopped me at the end of the aisle, physically holding me back from joining Jake at the altar. “Not yet daughter,” he winked.

I nodded, catching his eye, but completely incapable of saying anything.

“Who gives this woman to this man?”

My father smiled and I bet he could guess what was going through my head: no one was giving me to this man but me. “Her mother and I do.” Then he took a deep, deep breath, turned to me and kissed me on my cheek. “I love you daughter. Always and forever.”

I kissed him back on his other cheek and we hugged as if this simple act of marriage were somehow tearing me away from my family and sending me to the other side of the world, never to be seen again.

Then I turned to Jake—who was smiling and waiting patiently—and my heart took off in a whole new direction.

Jake looked damn sexy in his tux. Somehow he looked taller than normal, stronger, and he smelled amazing. It made me lightheaded and giggly like we’d just met. It was ridiculous.

I put my hands inside Jake’s and took a deep breath, but I couldn’t wipe the enormous grin off my face. I thought brides were supposed to cry, but that was the last thing on my mind. Sure I was completely overwhelmed standing in front of three hundred people with the man I loved, but I was so happy I couldn’t stop smiling.

Jake’s smile was just as big as mine, we probably looked crazy. I never once looked at the preacher, and I barely registered the first few rows of people. All I saw was Jake and his enormous, handsome smile. I was lost inside his green eyes and he was just as lost inside mine.

As the preacher spoke the vows, Jake nodded and squeezed my hand.

Then he repeated the words to me. Jake was so sincere and passionate about his vows, there was an unshakable truth to his words.

“I, Jake Spencer, take you, Eve Maria Daniels, to be my wife.” He smiled, then suddenly took my hand and pressed it to his heart the way he sometimes did when he was telling me how much he loved me. The feel of his heart beating so strong and steady beneath my palm, with his larger, rough hand holding it in place was probably the most intimate thing I’d ever felt then or since. “I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad.” He paused and pressed my hand against his chest harder, and added, “I promise.”

I nodded, my eyes locked onto his. His promise had somehow traveled the space between us, threading itself under my skin and nestling around my heart like Jake was personally protecting it.

“… in sickness and in health. I will love and honor you all the days of my life.”

The crowd around us was so quiet I could feel them. And as I started my vows I heard random sniffling from the audience. Jake hadn’t just taken my breath away, he’d taken everyone’s.

“I, Eve Maria Daniels, take you, Jake Spencer, to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love,” I breathed the word. It just wasn’t strong enough for how I was feeling. “… and honor you forever.”

Jake smiled at my little variation on the end of my vows. But it was true. I wouldn’t just love Jake all the days of my life or his.

I would never stop loving Jake.

Seconds later, the preacher was asking us for the rings. I slid Jake’s ring on and whispered, “All mine now… last chance to run.”

He shook his head and leaned in closer, “Not on your life. You are stuck with me.”

Then he pulled out my ring and slid it onto my finger. But before I could admire how it looked to wear his symbol of marriage, Jake pulled my hand to his lips and placed a slow, careful kiss on my ring. “Forever.”

The preacher was talking, but I didn’t hear him, not until he said, “You may kiss the bride,” and Jake swept me up into his arms with my feet off the ground with my hands around his face, and we kissed.

A long, long kiss. My lips pressed firmly against his.

This time I finally heard something other than Jake. I heard the roaring crowd around us as they cheered on our kiss. It made Jake chuckle, it sent vibrations up through my body. Suddenly I wanted the crowd to disappear so Jake and I could be alone.

But instead he set me down and shook his head, “Later Mrs. Spencer. We have a party to attend first.”

I shrugged my shoulders and turned, my hand tucked into my husband’s elbow as the preacher announced, “May I present Mr. and Mrs. Jake Spencer,” to our friends and family.

We walked down the aisle on a cloud and ran (yes, ran) to the guest house for a moment of privacy.

* * *

The microphone was the most popular thing at our reception. Everyone wanted a crack at it. Some told silly stories, others simply wanted to wish us the best. My sisters both made me cry. They made really touching speeches about growing up together and how perfectly Jake fit into our family.

From that point on I laughed and cried until I was completely exhausted. Jake’s arm was around my waist at all times and his other hand was wrapped around mine in his lap. The only time it was free was for drinking champagne. Which, I might add, was refreshing and delicious.

During Greg’s speech, which was admittedly enhanced by a good amount of whiskey, my nephew Teddy wiggled his way over to us and settled himself in Jake’s lap. Those two together—it did things to me. Teddy adored his new uncle. They had an instant and special bond, the kind that can’t be explained any more than my bond with Jake. The little boy was tired and curled up in Jake’s lap like it was the most comfortable place in the world. And Jake… he was grinning like a fool in love (with someone other than me) and gently rubbing Teddy’s back. He was instinctively rocking back and forth just a little.

When he noticed me watching him, he smiled and winked, squeezing my hand before turning back to listen to Greg’s blubbering.

“… I just, can’t tell you how proud of you I am, man. Really and truly. After all these years to finally see this woman I’ve heard all about. Eve is everything you said she was, and, well fuck—sorry!—I’m just so happy for you both.”

Greg came around and hugged Jake so he wouldn’t have to disturb Teddy who was nearly asleep. Then he hugged me (I don’t think he was sober enough to realize how hard he was hugging me) and whispered in my ear, “Welcome to the family, Evie. I hope to have a little nephew like Teddy very soon.”

It wasn’t the first time something like that had been said. It seemed to be a wedding tradition. Once the ring was on your finger it was time to talk babies.

The thing was—I wasn’t ready. Jake and I had only been back together a few months. Sure we had four years together, but that was a lifetime ago. We were different people with different lives back then. I wanted time with him, all to myself. Kids changed everything, I knew that.

Looking at how Jake was blissfully snuggling our nephew though, I knew it was something we were going to have to talk about sooner than later. We’d successfully avoided it up until this point, along with a lot of other things. It was a silent pact between us to avoid subjects like that until after the wedding. Maybe it was stupid. We were two intelligent, level-headed people. Surely we could discuss things as important as our future. But I was secretly terrified those topics would be grounds for fighting and disagreement. I desperately wanted to avoid disagreement at all costs. I just wanted to be happy with Jake for a little while longer.

So, I pretended no one had mentioned kids, and when I looked at Jake holding Teddy, all I saw was a man madly in love with his adorable nephew.

Between the champagne and the emotions, I was jonesing for some emotional relief. So the moment Tim whisked Teddy away, I whisked Jake away. It was no small task to disappear from your own wedding, but thankfully it was dark, so with a little maneuvering I was able to sneak us out the side of the tent and down the walkway to my mother’s rose garden.

“Where are we going, darlin’?” Jake was laughing.

“I need you,” I replied with my own giggle of mischief.

If there was one thing that would relax me, it was Jake. The house was off-limits, so we couldn’t go there. The guest houses were being used for entertaining and the luxury portable bathrooms were set up right beside them. It was almost as busy there as it was inside the reception tent.

So I was taking Jake to the only place I could think of where we might actually be able to find a few moments of peace.

“You seriously can’t wait another hour? We’ll be in a limo, we could do it there…”

“Too cliché!” I yelled over my shoulder. And no, I seriously couldn’t wait an hour.

“We have a gorgeous hotel room waiting for us, babe. I can lay you out and do you right. Any which way you want, your choice!”

“No, I need you now.” I repeated. We were in the garden now. It was small and surrounded on three sides by a hedge. There were brick pavers with a giant water fountain in the middle, and three stone benches around it. The rose bushes were in pots artfully arranged around the garden.

I pulled Jake around to the back side of the fountain where we would be hidden even if someone else followed us down here. “Sit,” I commanded.

But he didn’t. No, instead he pulled me into his arms and pressed my head to his wide chest. “Talk to me. What’s going on?”

I burrowed in a little closer. “Emotional overload. Too many people saying too many things.”

He squeezed me to him, it felt so nice. Being inside Jake’s arms was the most relaxing place in the world.

“I haven’t even gotten a chance to give my speech yet,” he said as he kissed the top of my head.

I sighed, “I don’t think I can take any more speeches tonight.”

Jake laughed, “Babe, they’re just happy for us. Let them have their chance to tell us. Weddings are only one night. We have a lot of years ahead of us, you may regret not having these memories to fall back on when times get tough.”

“Can’t we avoid tough times for the rest of our lives?” I knew it was a stupid question. But really, reality had no place existing on my wedding day.

He shook his head slowly, tilting my chin up so he could look into my eyes, “Nope. I will try my damnedest to keep them as far away from us as I can, but it will happen. And I want you to have memories like this—your family and friends telling you how much they love you.”

“They’re our family and friends now, Jake. Not just mine.”

Jake’s jaw stiffened and a look flashed through his eyes. He took my face in his hands and kissed me. No more time for chaste kisses. His tongue wove deep into my mouth as he pulled my body firmly against his. Suddenly Jake didn’t seem so opposed to my desperate plea for relief.

I repeated my earlier command to sit, and this time he did.

I sat on his lap facing him, with my legs wrapped around his waist. I had to gather up a lot of white skirt to get there, and Jake helped, arranging my skirt around us like a blanket as I settled against him.

He groaned and I felt him begin to harden. “What are you doing to me, Eve?”

“What you and I do.” By now he was nice and firm inside his tuxedo pants. “Why, Mr. Spencer, I do believe you are attracted to your bride.”

He seductively ran his nose up my throat and nuzzled behind my ear where I loved it so much. I was growing wetter by the second and I could feel the heat building between my legs. I was so desperate for relief and it wouldn’t take much.

He kissed the hollow of my neck and ran his hands up and down the bare back of my dress. “Babe, can I just say… when I told you to wear a sexy white dress… well, I had no idea. You look amazing. It’s been hard to keep my hands off you all night.”

“Good,” I whispered in his ear.

He squeezed me tighter and pulled my body down on his hard cock. It made me flutter deep inside where I wanted to feel him.

“This is pushing things, even for us, darlin’.” He said it pointedly and looking straight in my eyes. I think he was asking me what was really going on without actually saying the words. He wanted me to talk to him, but I couldn’t bring myself to say the things swirling inside my head.

“We’ll be quick,” I whispered, my hands digging down beneath my skirt to his pants.

“Eve! Jake!”

The sound of Jennie’s voice froze both of us where we were. I swallowed, knowing my bid for relief was being abandoned. Even if Jennie didn’t see us over here, there was no way Jake was going to finish what I started.

“Oh, for the love of all!” she exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air the minute she found us. “You two are seriously humping in the garden during your own wedding reception?”

I smiled sheepishly and slid my hands back out of Jake’s lap so I could shrug my shoulders. “There should be no doubts that Jake and I are hot for each other.”

Jennie put her hands on her hips and faked a scowl. “Eve, no one on earth doubts that. Now, pull yourselves together and get back inside that tent. If we don’t have cake soon there’s going to be a riot.”

Five minutes later we posed for pictures around an enormous white cake. “You smear this on my face and sex is off the table tonight,” I warned him under my breath.

He wrapped his large hand around mine as I put the edge of the silver knife against the smooth white frosting. He whispered in my ear, “I can think of much better places to put this cake, darlin’.”

My whole body quivered and I bit my lip as I looked back at my new husband, “Promise?”

He nodded slowly, his green eyes locked onto mine. “I never joke around when it comes to eating cake.”

“Mom!” I yelled, turning over my other shoulder. I knew she was standing right on the edge of the crowd.

“What do you need Eve? Is the knife ok?”

“Yes, the knife is ok. I need two slices of the chocolate cake boxed up for us to take to the hotel.”

“Taken care of!” she scoffed with a wave of her hand and immediately flagged down a waiter who scurried off to get us a box.

“Ready, Mr. Spencer?”

“Indeed, Mrs. Spencer.” He pushed the knife through the cake, slicing out a piece for each of us. We carefully fed each other, all while giggling mischievously. Wedding day sex was getting more and more exciting.

16

JAKE

I’d had to fend off my new wife all night. My dirty girl tried to seduce me in the garden and then she tried to bribe me into leaving the wedding early. She was ridiculous. It was awesome.

But I had plans for her.

I wanted her to have the perfect wedding and then I wanted her to have the perfect wedding night. We agreed to leave the past in the past and most of the time I was content with our agreement.

But sometimes I couldn’t. I think I would always feel a little bit of a burden to make my disappearance up to her. I would always carry that guilt around with me. So there was no way I was getting talked out of the perfect wedding for Eve and there was absolutely no way she was ruining my plans for our first time together as husband and wife.

“Do you know this is a fantasy of mine?” I asked. Eve was standing across from me as I closed the door to the honeymoon suite.

“The wedding night? Claiming your bride and making her yours?”

I shook my head. “Nope. Too old fashioned. I like to think a little more progressively.”

She arched her eyebrow and pursed her lips.

Hot.

“Ok,” I relented. “So I’m stretching the truth a little.”

She smiled wickedly and it was all I could do to stop myself from shredding her wedding dress right then and there. “What’s your fantasy, Jake?”

I shivered every time she said my name. “The white dress.”

Her breathing hitched and her eyes narrowed. “Oh…”

It was my turn to smile. She had no idea what she was in for. “Yeah, oh. It only happens once. I only get to defile you in that sexy, perfect, white dress once. And I’m going to enjoy every second.”

She licked her lips and took a step back toward the bed.

“Oh no you don’t, Mrs. Spencer. Stay right where you are.”

She froze mid-step, her chest was rising and falling and her eyes were following me, but that was it. She was mine.

I kissed every inch of her exposed skin as I took my time. Kissing down her back was my favorite part. The way she responded to my touch, gasping and begging for more… I had to have my way with her.

Starting with that dress.

I ran my hand down her bare back. “Backless yet strangely appropriate. Sexy and sensual yet not risqué in the slightest. This dress is perfect, Eve. It’s just like you—the perfect combination.

She smiled softly as she watched me over her shoulder. Her hair fell around her face and down her back. “You asked for a sexy white dress, I delivered.”

She had no idea. “It is a very good look on you, darlin’. You should look into getting more.”

She shivered under my touch. “With a reaction like that, how could I not?”

I swallowed as I tried to keep myself together.

Then I pushed the dress down her arms, finding exactly what I hoped: no bra. “You are my dream and destruction all mixed into one,” I groaned.

But then I ran my fingers inside her dress, wiggling the delicate lace fabric down her hips and found her underwear. “You have not been wearing these all night…” I whispered. The back was little more than a white satin string held together by gold rings.

“Of course I have,” she smiled, arching her back. “Why do you think I kept trying to sneak off with you. It would have been so easy to have some quick, naughty fun at our wedding.”

It hurt. It physically hurt to know I missed out on seeing that underwear earlier in the night. I probably would have stuck to my plan, but at least I would have had the visual. Patience wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.

“Those are staying on. For now anyway.” I pushed the dress down to the floor and held her hand while she stepped out. “Don’t move.”

I wanted to take a moment and appreciate everything that was my new wife. Only one light was on in the room and it bathed everything in the room in a soft yellow glow that reflected off her skin. She looked flawless. Her dark hair curled around her shoulders, falling just above her peaked and perfect nipples. She was toned and firm, but soft and supple in all the right places. I knew exactly what Eve looked like, and yet every time I saw her naked body it was a surprise.

“You have far too many clothes on,” she chastised.

I grinned from ear to ear as I tugged at the tie around my neck. “Let me fix that.”

“Can I, or is that against the wedding night rules?”

She was teasing me, of course. I stepped toward her, suddenly feeling oddly nervous. “Don’t let me stop you.”

Eve pushed back my jacket, letting it fall to the floor, then moved to the top button of my shirt. “This is my favorite part. Other people get to talk to you, have meetings with you, work with you, but I’m the only one who gets to take off your clothes and see what’s hidden underneath.”

I grabbed her hand, stopping her mid button, wrapped my arm around her waist and kissed her hard on the mouth.

She was the only one who ever saw what was hidden underneath.

When I pulled back from the kiss her eyes were softer than usual. She was breathless. “I love you, husband,” she whispered as she stroked her hand across my cheek.

I didn’t think Eve would ever understand how much I loved her, but I was going to try every day for the rest of my life to show her, starting with a wedding night she would never forget.

I swept her up into my arms and took her to bed. It was huge and soft. Eve sank into the mattress as soon as I laid her down beneath me. We didn’t say much after that. I think we were both too overwhelmed for words. Instead we communicated through sounds and hands. I made love to her slowly and her orgasm came on just as slowly. It built and built until she was sweating and shaking around me. She was so breathless she could barely say my name as we came together for the first time as husband and wife.

“I’m exhausted,” she sighed five minutes later. Neither one of us had moved.

“That was a pretty intense workout. We should shower and eat a snack. You know,” I grinned. “Refuel for round two.”

Only her eyes moved. “Round two?”

“Cake.”

Her eyes lit up and a slow grin pulled at the corners of her lips. “Start the shower. I’ll be there in a minute.”

I helped her shower. Eve really was exhausted, but by the time I had her soaped up she was laughing and joking again. “Do you think Greg will remember our wedding?”

I turned off the shower and opened the glass door. “Honestly? I’m not sure. He wasn’t himself today.”

We dried off and climbed back into bed with our leftovers. I placed the cake in the middle of the bed as a prize. “Food, then fun.”

“As if I would have it any other way.” Eve was already shoving food in her mouth. “Did you have a good day?”

I stopped mid chew. “Of course! Did you?” Maybe I’d missed out on some inside drama before the wedding?

“I did,” she said slowly, setting her food down. “It was a beautiful day. I just wanted to make sure you had a good day too.”

“I married you. It was the perfect day.” This woman had a way of making me feel more things that I knew what to do with.

She nodded and picked her food back up, finishing off a sampling of a dozen different things they’d served at our reception. It was an insane amount of food. “Cake?”

“Yes, please…”

But the real question was how to eat it. I wanted to eat it all off of her in tiny little bites. But then again, having her return the favor could be a lot of fun, too.

Turns out I didn’t need to worry. There was more cake than we knew what to do with. We each got to enjoy our fill of licking, biting, and suckling the chocolate off of each other. My favorite was the nipples. Chocolate covered nipples should be considered a delicacy—one I would happily indulge in any time.

Of course I didn’t mind the chocolate infused blow job I received either. Eve licking off the frosting was as enjoyable as I expected, but the way she licked small bites of cake off of me was surprisingly mind blowing. Maybe it was the way her lips raked along the sensitive skin of my cock, or maybe it was the way her tongue swirled the pieces into her mouth, or the combination of both along with the suction of her mouth… it didn’t matter. All that mattered was how good it felt, how much fun we both had, and how satisfying our orgasms were.

We could barely stay awake long enough to shower off a second time. I wrapped my arms around her, cradling her against my body as she drifted off to sleep. I’d woken up that morning as a single man and I was falling asleep married. I woke my fiancée up with my face between her thighs and sent her off to sleep three orgasms later.

I hoped our honeymoon was a lot like our wedding day.

17

EVE

“See that tree over there? The massive one with the little trees all around it? There should be a small offshoot of the falls just on the other side,” I called up to Jake who was about ten feet ahead of me with the backpack.

He looked back with a devilish grin on his face and a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. “You sure about this, babe?”

Oh I was sure. My idea to tease Jake had gone better than planned. He’d acted like it wasn’t bothering him, but the minute we landed on Guadaloupe the questions started. The man who had just been so calm and cool on the little commuter plane suddenly turned into a talk show host asking question after question.

But I held out. I simply smiled each time he tried to squeeze my ideas out of me. It drove him crazy. Until this morning. He was just starting to stir and the morning light was just starting to stream in through the picture window above our bed when I whispered in his ear.

“Today we’re hiking up to the top of the volcano to see the first stage of the waterfalls.”

He smiled and stretched with his eyes still closed. “Sounds like fun.”

“And you’ll fuck me while we’re up there.”

His eyes shot open and his strong arms tightened around me. “Yes, ma’am!”

Then he was out of bed and digging out his backpack and sneakers before I could even roll over. “We still need to eat breakfast…”

He looked up at me with such serious eyes and pointed at the porch. “Then get eating! I have a challenge to complete!”

I grinned like an idiot all through breakfast.

Every morning a tray of food and coffee was delivered to our porch. It was kind of magical to wake up to fresh fruit and croissants every day. My father’s best friend offered up his vacation house on the French Caribbean island of Guadaloupe for us to escape. It was perfectly located on the rainforest side of the island, which meant we were a five minute car ride from the beach or hiking, depending on which way we turned when we got to the main road.

Jake still hadn’t told me what he’d packed in that backpack or how he planned on accomplishing his task, but I didn’t care. It was fun to watch Jake. He was like an excited kid and that glint in his eyes every time he looked at me… that was precisely what I was hoping for when I brought the game up in the first place.

“Oh, baby. This is going to be fun…” Jake groaned as he pulled to a stop at a set of small falls that ended in a pool of water, surrounded by forest. We were fairly high up on the dormant volcano and had timed our hike to leave between the scheduled tours, not that many tourists were hiking. Most were more than happy to take the easy walk up to the second stage of the falls and enjoy the view from there. Only a select few chose to make the much harder extra hike the rest of the way up.

It was like we were alone in the world.

The volcano was covered in fairly dense rainforest which made it seem even more intimate. The tree canopy blotted out most of the sunlight and the humidity was incredible. When it rained, it was light, like a mist.

It was so humid my hair had become naturally curly for the first time in my life and I was enjoying the unexpected change, wearing it down in soft waves. At the moment those waves were plastered to the side of my head.

“It looks like we can walk out on those rocks if you want to get closer to the falls,” Jake said.

I nodded and waited while Jake took off the backpack and set it against a tree before taking my hand and leading me out onto the wide, flat rocks. We stopped at the last one I could reach, and Jake wrapped me up in his arms. “It is so beautiful up here.”

I nodded as I looked out at the rushing water. “It doesn’t look real. The colors are so rich!”

Jake was looking everywhere but at me and that was when I realized he was scouting out a place for us to have fun. I’d been watching for other hikers the whole time, but we never saw anyone. I was really hopeful we’d be alone on our hike for a while longer.

Long enough to have an amazing orgasm under the rainforest canopy.

I’d been on pins and needles all morning. Every sense was tuned to Jake and his body. So when he wrapped his arm around my waist and held me close, it wasn’t just his warmth and firm body I felt. I heard every breath and the thud of his heart. I felt the excited energy running under his skin. The anticipation was driving him.

But it was the life in his green eyes that really tugged at my heart. I loved seeing him so happy and light. He grinned and turned me slightly to the right. “There, those bushes next to the pool.”

There was a low stand of bushes just in the shade of the trees above. It might work. “We should take a closer look.”

Jake threaded his fingers through mine, drawing me along with him as he returned to the shore and retrieved his backpack. This was what I wanted: fun and excitement with Jake. But now that it was here, I was nervous.

Luckily Jake wasn’t. He was completely focused on his mission and utterly adorable. It was impossible to not get swept up in his sexy confidence.

The bushes were tall and thick enough that no one would see us unless they came right up on us, which we would ideally hear well in advance. “What do you think Mrs. Spencer?” He was right at my ear and his warm breath danced along my sensitive skin. He tossed the backpack down and wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling my backside flush against his front. “Have I mentioned how much I liked your game idea?”

I laughed as I closed my eyes and leaned into his embrace. Jake’s other hand had traveled down between my legs. “I was getting that impression. What’s in the bag or is it a secret still?”

He spun me in his arms so that we were face to face. I couldn’t help myself; I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him hard. After a long, deep kiss Jake pulled back with an enormous grin on his face. “I’m getting the impression you’re enjoying the game, too.”

We’d barely started and I was having the time of my life. “A game I can’t lose? Oh, I’m having fun.”

“You know, I hadn’t thought of it that way. It really is a win all around.”

I nodded slowly as Jake stepped away to open the mysterious backpack. “Put this around your shoulders, please.” He held out an enormous checked blanket. While I wrapped it around my shoulders like a giant, long shawl Jake repositioned me with my back to the water. Then, he kneeled in front of me, kissing my belly and wrapping his large hands around my waist, holding me close.

Standing like that, I imagined I looked like a swimmer drying off. Jake was completely hidden in front of me. He was my secret.

He slid his fingers around the button of my pants, slid the zipper down, and slowly removed my pants. But it was the way he did it—so slowly and lovingly. He studied my skin with his eyes and fingers, moving me where he wanted me with gentle moves. And when he looked up at me from his knees with those soft green eyes I was already so turned on I was finding it hard to stand. My head was spinning.

“Step out,” he whispered hoarsely. That was when I realized Jake was panting and a little shaky, too. The moment was affecting both of us.

Underneath my pants and thin white t-shirt I was wearing a bikini. Jake smiled wickedly as he played with the edges of the fabric, but I couldn’t keep my eyes on him. The electricity shooting over my skin from his touch was overwhelming. I closed my eyes and ran my hands through his hair as his fingers moved under the fabric.

“My, my, my… so turned on for me, Mrs. Spencer. I like this very much.” I peeked down at him hidden in the folds of my blanket. My husband was thoroughly pleased with himself.

“You’ve got me turned on, now what are you going to do Mr. Spencer?”

He bounced his eyebrows. “Win.”

I sucked in an excited breath and tugged on a fistful of hair. Jake laughed deep in his chest as he slid two fingers slowly inside me.

I shuddered and groaned.

“Quiet, please. This is supposed to be a secret…” he chastised me.

I shook my head and smiled with my eyes closed. “Oh shut up and make me come you cocky bastard.”

He took my challenge, plunging those long fingers of his deep inside me a split second before he kissed my clit through the fabric. The combination was explosive and revved me up from aroused to verging on climax.

But I wanted more.

I let him work his magic until I was hot and breathless. “I think you should lie down,” I whispered.

Jake’s green eyes shot up to meet mine, followed by a slow grin.

He eased his fingers out then grabbed a towel from his backpack, wiping his fingers dry before laying it out on the forest floor. “Keep the blanket,” he said while bouncing his eyebrows.

Unlike me, Jake had opted for a simple pair of bright green swimming trunks and a t-shirt. He pulled the Velcro apart, allowing his erection to spring free.

It was beautiful and all mine. I straddled him, lowering down to my knees and sinking slowly onto his cock while he held my bikini bottoms to the side and out of the way. He groaned and I placed a finger over his lips, “Now, now. This is a secret, remember?”

But instead of answering me, Jake sank his fingers in to my hips and encouraged me to start moving. “And quick,” he reminded me with another quiet moan.

And we were. No one ever came by, it was me and Jake and pure sexual ecstasy. I worshiped him, running my greedy hands over every muscle I could find, enjoying every ridge of his abs and the way our bodies looked coming together. I loved bracing my hands around his flexed biceps as we moved. And I really loved the strain of his neck and shoulders as we came together.

We lay on the ground panting for a few minutes, laughing because well, we’d been successful. Sex—good sex—on a hike in the forest. I was on a high.

“Ready for a swim?” Jake asked, brushing a stray hair from my cheek with his knuckles.

“I’d love one.”

The water was actually warm on one end thanks to the volcano and the swim was almost therapeutic. “Is this for real?” I asked as I realized we’d been swimming alone in a hidden paradise for the last hour.

“If it isn’t, please don’t shatter my dreams.”

I smiled and swam into my husband’s arms. He pulled me into his lap and nuzzled my ear before kissing me on the cheek. “Happy honeymoon, Jake.”

He tensed, tilting my chin up so he could look into my eyes. He had the sweetest smile on his face. “Happy honeymoon, Eve.”

18

JAKE

Eve was making me crazy. Her secret sex list was all I could think about. Every time she came near me I wondered if she was about to whisper something else in my ear. Four days and she’d done it twice—both times were amazing, I might add. Sex in the forest had been nothing short of mind-blowing, but then she went and topped it. We rented a jet ski at the resort on the other side of the island, disappeared into a secluded inlet, and had the best oral sex of my life. The image of Eve sucking me off while I laid back on that jet ski was etched into my brain. I was uncomfortably hard just thinking about it. But then we’d switched. Eve spread on a jet ski was more than I could handle. I was lucky I could still stand and walk. That woman was going to kill me.

So, here we were on a tropical island with no worries and no work, and all I could think about was what else she had on her list.

“Please?” I’d already tried commanding and teasing, now I was on to begging.

“Nope,” she replied as she read her book. We were sitting on the porch, enjoying the sounds of the morning and our breakfast.

It really did rain regularly. I knew rainforests got their name for a reason… but I was still surprised by the regular drizzle that fell from the trees above. It made cuddling up with Eve a helluva lot easier. It was a total accident that we picked a place that rained every day to spend our honeymoon together.

It was like fate. Me and Eve and rain…

“How can I properly plan to pleasure you beyond your wildest dreams if you keep them from me?”

She grinned without looking away. “You seem to be doing just fine so far, cowboy.”

I puffed up a little at the compliment. “Are there really three challenges on your list, or are you just making them up as you go along.” I was teasing her on purpose. I knew Eve well enough to know she had a list. She probably made it out before she even brought the game up in the first place.

Evil. She was just evil.

“There are actually five.”

I groaned. “You are killing me, woman. Killing me!”

She finally turned toward me. “That’s the point. You can’t tell me you aren’t having fun, Jake. I can see how happy you are.”

I was my own worst enemy.

I decided to let it go. Instead, I studied my new wife. She had her nose stuck in a book with a small smile on her lips. I wanted to keep her like that forever. I could already feel this little window of time slipping away from us.

Maybe that’s sick of me, but when we got back home there would be work and obligations, illnesses and arguments. I didn’t want our lives to ever get so bogged down that we couldn’t find our way to a moment like this… where nothing else mattered but the wind and the salt water and being together.

Work, friends, and crazy schedules seemed to be conspiring against us more and more often. The bigger my company got, the more I was lured into projects. I loved my job and being damn good at it was so satisfying, but I wanted more of a hands-off approach. I wanted to oversee and tell other people what to do. I’d quickly slipped down a slope and gone from invisible boss to hands-on employee.

I wasn’t so sure I was happy with that change.

On the one hand, I was using my talent and creating a successful business. But on the other hand, my life was getting so busy and complicated, I was frustrated. If I couldn’t find a middle ground I was going to go crazy.

“You are lost in thought…” Eve drawled. I was so lost in my head I’d missed her getting up. She slid her hand along my bare abs and chest before sitting sideways in my lap. I could tell by the look in her eyes she was thinking dirty thoughts.

“True enough. I’m sorry.” I wrapped my arms around her and we sat just like that for a while.

“You know the best cure for thinking too much?”

I shook my head knowing exactly where she was going—at least I thought I did.

“Sex.”

Yep, exactly what I thought.

“Stop thinking, Jake.”

I loved it when Eve was motivated. “Now?”

She nodded slowly with one of those mischievous grins on her face before standing up and grabbing my hand.

I followed Eve as she walked over to the little couch. Her hips swayed as she walked and I zeroed in on the little hint of skin that peeked out the bottom as her shirt as she moved.

God, I loved her ass.

She pushed me down onto the couch, standing over me with her hands on her hips. “What’s on your mind?”

I shrugged my shoulders and grinned up at her, “I can’t seem to remember at the moment.”

She arched her eyebrow and pursed her lips, but didn’t smile.

My heart rate skyrocketed.

“Tell me…” she drawled.

I was so turned on I was honestly finding it hard to think of anything but the hint of Eve’s nipples under the white t-shirt. “Come here.” I wanted to touch her. My brain was going haywire having her so far away.

“Not until you tell me what’s got you so upset.” She honestly looked worried and that brought me a little bit of focus. Not much… but a little.

“Something about life and work,” I saw Eve’s muscles tense at the mention of work so I hurried up my explanation. “You know, philosophizing about the meaning of life.”

She relaxed a little, but the focus of her eyes was still intense. She stepped up to me, her knees brushing mine. I was too large for the little couch. My knees were jacked up a good two inches even when I was sitting all the way back in the seat. But Eve trailed a finger down my bare shoulder and over my chest and there was nothing I could do to stop my body from relaxing and leaning back against the cushions no matter how small the seat.

“Think you could get those boxers out of my way?”

I think I broke the land speed record getting that tiny bit of fabric off of my body.

“Excellent,” she said with a sexy grin.

I swallowed because I was so damn excited my whole body was vibrating. I loved never knowing what she was going to do next.

Eve kneeled down in front of me, pushing my legs open and licked her lips. Watching her tongue move was almost as good as feeling it on my skin.

Almost.

She leaned in with her hands first and that initial contact of her palms against my cock and naked thigh was enough to shoot me from aroused to fully erect. My blood was pumping so hard I felt lightheaded for a moment.

Then her warm tongue stroked up my length as she wrapped her hand around me and paused, “What else were you thinking about?”

She. Was. Evil.

Eve quite literally had me in the palm of her hand, looking up at me seductively, with that look that said I will make you come so hard you will forget your own name. All I had to do was confess—but that was easier said than done.

“I was thinking about how much I resent it when work takes over.” I ran my hands through her hair as her eyes softened.

“Keep talking,” she whispered and started to move her hands up and down.

I groaned and closed my eyes for a second, enjoying myself and trying my hardest to focus. “You work hard, I work…” my voice fell away as her lips kissed the tip of my cock.

“You work hard,” she whispered.

Her breath felt so good… “And I’d rather work hard on you,” I finished.

She stopped and I felt her grin a split second before she pulled back and said, “Well, you should do that.”

I grabbed her and swung her up into my arms. “Let the record show,” I said as I stepped back inside, “you asked for it.”

Eve was laughing and breathless all the way up until I entered her. All I heard after that was the sound of her calling my name.

It turned out to be a good morning.

19

EVE

I was so satisfied it was ridiculous. Honeymoons were awesome. It was like a reward for putting up with the complications of a relationship. Rewards were nice.

After all these years I could honestly say I was in love with Jake and we were happy. That was it. No “but” or “except” or “if only…” There were no ex-lovers or business deals. No crappy childhoods or demons to slay. My heart wasn’t broken.

Just happy.

I probably would have saved myself some heartache over the years if I’d let myself realize how heartbroken I really was over Jake’s disappearance. But instead, I’d buried it down deep and covered it up with a mask of strength. Strength was good, but it didn’t fix the broken crack underneath. And because I denied that heartache for so long I let a lot of other things take the brunt of my pain.

It was only now, with my heart so happy, that I realized what Sebastian was telling me that night at the party. He was angry and I was embarrassed so it was hard to hear his words at the time, but I’d had a while to think about it since then. He said there was always a wall I was hiding behind, and he was right. I didn’t want to feel my broken heart so I ignored it. I was hiding from my pain and my broken heart, pretending it didn’t exist. But pretending doesn’t fix things, it only makes them last longer.

I wasted more years than I’d realized in hiding.

It felt good to be free. I hoped I wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. I couldn’t ever let myself hide again.

“Spill it. What’s going on?” Jake asked.

I realized I’d been staring at the wall. “What do you mean?”

Jake glared at me. We were sitting on the porch watching the sun set above the trees. It was beautiful outside and the sunset was casting everything in a pinkish glow. “You’ve been gone all afternoon—and not in a good way. You look upset.”

I took a small sip of the water I was holding and eyed him. He had his determined face on. It was really, really unlikely I would convince him to talk about it later. Not that it was going to stop me from trying. I didn’t want to talk about heavy stuff when we were having so much fun. “Any chance I could interest you in some sex?”

Jake scoffed, crossed his arms, and propped his feet up on the little wicker coffee table that matched the chairs and bannister. “You must be deep in that head of yours if you’re obviously deflecting with sex.”

I stared at him.

He stared at me.

We were in a stare-off and I had a feeling I was going to lose.

“I’m not moving, Eve. I’m not letting anything derail our fun, not even your brain.”

I swore under my breath and looked back out at the horizon. Jake was such a pain in the ass sometimes.

“Excuse me?” he asked. “I couldn’t hear you over the sarcasm. If you are gonna swear at me, please do it loud enough so I can hear you and properly defend myself.”

I glared at him and set my water back down. Loudly. “You are such a cocky bastard sometimes. It pisses me off.”

He grinned from ear to ear, his white teeth popped against the tan on his skin and his eyes flashed. “It’s not cocky when you’re confident, darlin’.”

“I think we’re talking semantics when it comes to you,” I muttered.

“Talk,” he said it louder this time. “Or we will have sex.”

I perked up at that idea. But then I saw Jake’s scowl and realized it wasn’t a good thing.

“Oh no, Eve. You won’t like this sex. It will be the slow, torturous kind where I try to pull every last detail out of you and won’t let you come until I get all the sordid details of what is going on in that head of yours.”

Damn it all… he was using my own move against me. Why did I marry such a cocky, demanding, asshole? I was my own worst enemy.

“Please?” he added with a very soft smile that made my heart flutter.

Oh, that’s right. Because he was probably the sweetest, most caring bastard I’d ever met. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and blurted it out. “I was thinking about my mistakes.”

Jake’s eyebrows shot up with surprise. “Mistakes?”

I nodded and sighed. We were having this conversation whether I liked it or not. “Don’t worry about it. I just got all contemplative. It must be all the relaxing we’re doing.”

He sat forward. His brows were pulled together with real concern, which only made me love him more. He genuinely cared about me, I’d never doubt that. “Contemplating? What mistakes? Talk to me.”

“Seriously, Jake. It’s not a big deal! I just…” I sighed, blowing my hair out of my eyes and shaking my head. “I just realized how happy I am right now and how not happy I was for the last ten years because I couldn’t admit to myself I was heartbroken.”

Jake’s face fell. I hated how talking about me managed to hurt him in the process. It was the last thing I wanted to do, but there was no other way to talk to him. “I’m so sorry, Eve.”

“No. This isn’t about you or how the last ten years went down. I’m simply evaluating something about myself I want to change in the future. I was an idiot. I refused to deal with my feelings for you and that led me to be less that ridiculously happy. Driven? Yes. Focused and successful? Absolutely. But happy? Not completely. Definitely not satisfied.”

Jake studied me with those beautiful green eyes of his and I wanted to run my hands along the stubble on his jaw, pull him into my arms, and kiss his lips. But I stayed where I was.

“You weren’t happy?”

“I was. I just wasn’t as happy as I could have been. I could have been more open and let the past go, but I didn’t. I held on to it and used it as an excuse any time I got scared. I don’t want to ever do that to myself again. So while we’re sitting here relaxing, I took a few minutes to evaluate my life and make some resolutions. Nothing more, nothing less.”

The muscle in Jake’s jaw flexed a few times as he burned a hole through me with his eyes. “You promise that’s all it is?”

I was in his lap in under two seconds, straddling him and wrapping my arms around his neck. “Promise.” I kissed him, wrapping my hands around his face and sliding my tongue against his while I squeezed my thighs around his waist. “I’m ready for one of my challenges,” I breathed between kisses. It turned out Jake’s challenges were really rather sweet. He told me honeymoons were for romantic adventures, not hardcore porn. His list was a non-stop roll call of sweet sexual fantasies like making love in a bubble bath and sex under the stars.

Jake grinned up at me, “Which item would you like to check off tonight, Mrs. Spencer? Perhaps sex under the stars?”

I tightened my fingers as he pulled me down against his quickly hardening erection. “Yes, please.”

I felt him smile against the skin of my neck, “Your wish is my command.”

20

JAKE

Two days later Eve was in the shower and I was back on the porch listening to the rain, thinking about how I’d gotten to where I was right then. I wasn’t so sure I’d be sitting on an island in the Caribbean with an amazing, sexy woman who loved me and married me if I hadn’t gone through all the shit along the way. I certainly wouldn’t appreciate it like I did. I knew that much about myself.

As much as it sucked, I learned something from each and every shitty situation along the way. It either taught me a lesson or gave me a skill. I learned who I was by how I handled those situations. In a lot of ways I felt like I only got to truly see myself for who I was inside when things were at their worst. When the rain was pouring the hardest, the wind was howling, the lightning was everywhere—those were the times when I really knew who I was. It was like the rain storm took everything I thought or believed, washed away the lies and the crap, and showed me what was left—for better or worse.

Some of those times it was nearly impossible to accept what I saw in that reflection. I hated the years when I languished and let life pass me by. I never wanted to be the guy who didn’t take his life head-on. But that was exactly who I was back then.

It was only when I had the courage to look at myself that I realized I hated what I saw. I changed it and I liked who I was a helluva lot better now, but it took all of that to get to where I was.

I wondered what role Ashley played in all of that. She probably dragged me down a lot of the time, but I don’t know if I would have realized what I wanted without her. She was me in a lot of ways. Broken and clawing to survive, but she was a taker. She liked the pain.

I didn’t.

I wanted to leave my past in the past. She made it easy to see what I didn’t want.

My mind was buzzing and one of the only ways I knew to calm it down was to write. I’d already grabbed my black journal out of my luggage. It only took a minute before the words started to flow. Sometimes it was hard to get started, but once I did, I couldn’t stop. Everything that was so mixed-up in my head would start to unravel, and piece by piece, my mind would clear.

I was so lost in my thoughts I didn’t hear the shower stop or Eve come out to stand across from me, so I jumped when she said, “Hey.”

“Hey,” I said back.

She was studying me very carefully. I could feel the uneasiness in her mood. She moved in front of one of the wicker chairs and carefully sat down. She had a towel in one hand that she was using to dry her hair. “What are you doing?”

She had her eyes fixated on my journal.

“Writing,” I said casually.

“Is everything ok?”

I snapped the book shut, set it down on the table, and leaned forward. “Not everything in these journals is bad, Eve. I write to work things out.” I moved the journal around unconsciously as I spoke. “It helps me think.”

“What are you writing about?” she asked.

I shrugged, hoping it made things seem less intense. Because to me, they felt intense. “Order of events.”

Her eyebrows shot up, “What?”

I chuckled and patted the cushion beside me. “Come over here and let me explain.”

Eve reluctantly moved across and I turned to the side so she could sit between my legs. I massaged her neck and shoulders while I talked. “You’ll hear me out?”

She tensed a little, I massaged harder. “Sure.”

I gave her a moment before I dove in. I knew how it was going to sound, but I didn’t know how else to phrase things. “I was going over some things and realized I wouldn’t be here with you now without the tough times in between.” Eve nodded slowly and turned to the side to glance up at me.

I smiled and kept talking. “I know how much you hate Ashley, and I totally get it.” I clamped down on her shoulders when she tried get up. “Please, let me explain.”

She huffed and stopped fighting me, but crossed her arms over her chest in defiance. “Make it fast.”

“I know how much you hate her,” I continued. “And as much as I wish I could erase those years that took me away, I don’t know how else I’d get to being this man. And like it or not, it took losing control, getting mad, and getting lost, to find my way out. In a weird way, she helped me see who I didn’t want to be.”

“I really think I need to stomp around or run a mile or something,” Eve said through clenched teeth. Every muscle in her body was tensed.

But there was no way I was letting her go. This wasn’t something I wanted stewing between us. I wrapped my arm around her chest and leaned down to whisper in her ear. “We have to be able to talk about the past, Eve. Otherwise you are giving it power it doesn’t deserve.”

She swore under her breath. “Fine.”

“All I wanted to do was tell you how much I appreciate the past for bringing me to this moment.”

She stewed while I massaged. “I understand what you are saying. I don’t like it, but I don’t want to argue about it either. I love that we’re where we are now, but if that woman is in our lives much longer we’re going to have problems.”

I couldn’t agree more. But as I was sitting there with her, it occurred to me, probably for the first time, everything about Eve that makes me so attracted to her was probably exactly what was going to drive me crazy. I loved that she was smart and successful. It was hot, actually. Eve could take care of herself, so the fact that she wanted me, and let me know all her insecurities, it made that male part of my brain go a little wild. And it made my overprotectiveness kick into overdrive because when Eve did need me, it was for a damn good reason. One I’d do anything to fix.

I’d done my time and made my peace with life, but that didn’t necessarily mean Eve was in the same place. She was successful, yes, but what if she wanted more? Her career was a huge part of her life, it was very possible she had big plans for what she still wanted to accomplish. I was ready to start winding down, but we could very well be in two totally different places. And that thought sucked.

I was so caught up in the dream of marrying Eve and getting the life I wanted, I didn’t really stop and consider what the next ten or twenty years would really look like. I was starting to realize the work wasn’t over—it was just beginning.

“Now,” I said, pushing aside my weird thoughts. “I really, really want to show you how much I love you. If you’re up for it.”

Everything about Eve’s mood changed in an instant. “Up for what, exactly?”

I had her. “I was thinking about those little words you whispered in my ear this morning.”

She gasped and craned her neck to look up at me. “Do you really think you’re up for the challenge?”

21

EVE

There was a sparkle in Jake’s eyes. It could only mean one thing: trouble.

“Two minutes, Eve. I know I can get you off in less than two minutes.”

I arched a very skeptical eyebrow. “No you can’t.”

His answering grin was enormous. “Oh, yes I can.” He moved closer and leaned down so that our noses were touching. “And I’m gonna prove it…”

Then he ran the back of his knuckles along my cheek at the same time he lowered his eyes and kissed me. My whole body groaned for more of whatever the hell it was Jake had just done to me. Knuckles and lips… in just the right way, and just the right time, were apparently magic.

He smiled at me lazily and cocked his head so he could whisper in my ear. “Please. I want to do dirty, dirty things to you Mrs. Spencer.” He kissed the spot behind my ear and I sighed. “I want to bury my fingers inside you while you look out at the forest and moan so loudly every other person here on vacation wishes they were you.”

I was so wet it was ridiculous. Just words… they were just words… my body wanted all those words.

Damn body.

Jake trailed his fingers over my chest and stomach, stopping short of my bikini bottoms. “Please? Let me?”

I’m pretty sure my legs fell open. I was a puppet and he was the master. He said a few magical words and my legs did as he wished. It didn’t matter that I hadn’t thought about sex since I whispered in his ear that morning. It didn’t matter that two minutes ago I was as far from turned on as a person could get. Jake had worked me over and I wanted what he was offering.

He grinned and his green eyes flashed. I couldn’t help myself, I reached out and ran my fingertip through the dip of his dimple and kissed it a split second before his fingers pressed against my sex. “Two minutes, starting now.” He was holding up his wrist so I could look at his watch, not that I was really paying much attention to the hands on the watch. My mind was pretty fixated on the hands touching my body.

His fingers slid inside me without any effort at all. I was that wet. He groaned, “Oh, I’m gonna need to taste that…” He slid his long fingers in and out several times before pulling away and licking them clean. I could really care less how much he did or didn’t like the way I tasted, all I could think about was how empty I felt without him inside me. I was throbbing. I think that was exactly what the cocky bastard wanted too, because he waited for me to look at him before he pulled his fingers out of his mouth and thrust them back inside me with a wicked grin.

I gasped and threw back my head. He could do whatever the hell he wanted to me. And he could take as long as he wanted to—I wouldn’t give him any grief for going over his two minutes.

While Jake did magical things inside my body he ran his other thumb over the exposed parts of my breast, inching closer to my covered nipples, but not going near them. He was teasing me.

“Do you know what it does to me to feel how wet you are for me? Do you have any idea how much control you have over me, Eve?” I forced my eyes open because I knew he wanted me to look at him when he poured his soul out to me. His eyes locked onto mine. “I live for these moments. I will do anything you want. Ask me for anything, and I will give it you.”

He thrust deeper inside me at the same time his thumb ran over my nipple beneath my swimsuit. I couldn’t catch my breath. It was gone and my body was wound up, every muscle tensed, as I gasped for air. “You are so fucking beautiful when you let me have you.”

I shuddered as his breath danced along my neck and I came completely undone, coming around his fingers as he pressed into me. He kissed my neck up and down as I cried out his name, my toes curling and hips tilting into his fingers. “So beautiful,” he whispered, which only intensified the end of my orgasm. Knowing how Jake felt about me was always a huge turn on.

When I finally relaxed, he pulled his fingers away, licking and glancing down at his watch. “Two minutes on the nose.”

I sat up and grabbed his wrist, twisting his watch so I could see it better. “No…”

“Yes…” he chuckled.

Sure enough, as best I could remember, it had been exactly two minutes since he showed me the time. “That is some raw talent, Jake. I wish we could harness it for something useful.”

He used a towel to finish wiping his hand clean and leaned over my body, “I can’t think of anything more useful than giving you pleasure at any time and place.”

I think I may have blushed under his intense stare. It was probably the hottest look I had ever seen. Ever. “Well, then. When you put it like that…”

He nodded and kissed me. “Excellent. Now, your turn.”

My turn? What the hell did that mean? I hadn’t agreed to anything other than the two-minute challenge.

Jake laughed and shook his head. “Oh no. It’s not what you’re thinking.” He stood up and pulled the other chair over, positioning it so he was facing me when he sat back down. “Same deal. Can you get yourself off in two minutes?”

Me? “I just got off. That’s not fair.”

He crossed his arms and looked at me pointedly. “Don’t think you can do it, huh?”

Ass. “I’m just saying it isn’t fair. Round two can take time…”

“Or it can happen twice as fast since you’re already hot and bothered.”

“Therefore, it is an unfair test.”

He shrugged his shoulders and looked away. “I guess I know your body better than you do.”

He did not just say that out loud. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” he laughed. “I am saying I think I know your body better than you do. I want you to prove me wrong.”

I stared at him for a full minute before I decided there wasn’t really anything to lose by proving him right. He knew my body better than I did and we both knew it but, in the meantime, I’d get another orgasm while I drove my new husband absolutely wild. I slid my bikini tops to the side, exposing my breasts as I spread my legs back open. “Start the clock.”

Jake swallowed hard as he barely glanced at his watch, “Go.”

By the time I was done moaning it had been three minutes. I wasn’t sad to lose that bet because in those three minutes I got to watch Jake lose his mind. He begged and pleaded and practically ripped the arms off the chair. He was torturing himself but, he’d asked me to do it.

Three minutes of exquisite torture later, I had two orgasms and he had none. But because I was feeling like having more fun, I stood up and stripped off my bikini before beckoning him inside to the bedroom where I let him have me hard against the bed.

* * *

I was a tangled mess in the white sheets and Jake was lying on his back beside me as the morning light began filtering through the open windows. By the rhythm of his breathing and the way he had his arms propped up behind his head, I knew he was awake. It had become a new favorite sleeping position for us—my back pressed to his side. Sometimes he turned and spooned me, but for the most part, Jake had been sleeping on his back.

I shifted and stretched, loving the feel of the strange sheets as they moved over my naked skin.

“Mornin’ darlin’,” Jake drawled sleepily. “Did you sleep well?”

“Mmmm,” I replied. My eyes were still closed and I wasn’t quite ready to form words.

He chuckled. His voice was deep and rough from sleep. “I think breakfast is waiting for us. Do you want it in bed today?”

I shook my head and stretched again before rolling over to lie on his broad chest. “No, just give me a minute. I like eating on the porch.”

Jake stroked his fingers up and down my back while I woke up. He was so quiet I had to wonder how long he’d been awake.

“How about you?” My voice was muffled against his chest.

“I slept great, actually. I think I’ve slept better here than anywhere I’ve ever slept.” He ran his fingers through my hair. “The longer we’re away from home, the more it feels like a different life. You’ve changed too, you know.”

“True,” I was calmer than ever. “How long have you been awake?”

Jake shrugged, “A while.”

“And what have you been doing?” I looked up at him with one eye open. He was damn sexy in the morning with stubble on his chin and messy hair.

“Listening to you breathe, and of course all your secrets. You really shouldn’t talk so much in your sleep.”

“I don’t talk in my sleep,” I scoffed. “I should know, I lived with the nosiest sister on the planet. She’d have told me if I unwittingly divulged secrets in my sleep.”

“Well, it’s that… or she just kept her best source of information a secret.”

I punched him lightly in the side and pushed up onto my elbow. “What have you really been doing?”

Jake ran his thumb along my cheek and brushed my hair over my shoulder all while studying me with the softest look on his face. “Honestly, nothing. I’ve just been enjoying this.”

I could see the lie in his eyes, but I let it go. Whatever was on Jake’s mind, it wasn’t worth pushing my new husband on our vacation. “Coffee?”

Jake grinned. “After you.”

I pulled the spare sheet off the chair where I’d been storing it each night, and wrapped it around my body. My hair was everywhere and I didn’t even bother to tame it before I followed Jake out onto the porch. Two trays filled with coffee, juice, croissants, and fruit were waiting for us, as usual.

I arranged myself on the chairs with my feet propped up while Jake served the coffee. It was the quietest breakfast and I think we were both dreading the next stage of our lives: going back to reality. Neither one of us wanted to talk about it, but we couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Everything up until that point had been easy, reactionary. Falling back in love was intense and left little time for worrying about anything else. We were going to have to think and plan, agree and compromise. What we were heading home to was a complete unknown.

Especially when I added her into the equation. Jake was true to his word. He hadn’t pulled his phone out once and Greg hadn’t called the house, so what was happening while we were away was a complete mystery. I was happy about that until I realized we were going home blind. Anything could be waiting for us. I hated surprises.

Jake was staring off into the bushes surrounding the porch, absent-mindedly pulling off strips of croissant and popping them in his mouth.

Where would we be in five years? Would he still be as handsome? Would he still love me or would I drive him crazy? Would one of us become so engrossed in work that we forgot how to have fun?

“Promise me,” I whispered.

Jake snapped his head around to look me in the eye. “Promise you what?” Then he reached out and slid his long fingers around my hand.

“Promise me you won’t let me forget how it feels right now. Don’t let me forget.” I knew myself well enough to know that once we got back to our lives I would let things like work and worrying about the future cloud my ability to simply live in the moment. I would get swept away.

He studied me intently for a minute. His muscles were rigid and his jaw was clenched. Jake’s instinct would be to do something tangible, to take immediate action to solve the problem. Except there was nothing to do. This was exactly why I usually avoided saying things like this, I didn’t want to ask him for something that would only frustrate him, but I was desperate. I needed him to understand how frantic and helpless I was feeling in that moment.

“Ok,” he said simply and squeezed my hand, but it was the conviction in his eyes that told me how seriously he took my request. “I’m putting it on my list of husbandly responsibilities,” he winked and grinned his cocky half-smile.

“My god, Jake Spencer. You may be the hottest husband on the planet,” I breathed.

He leaned in, pulling my hand so that I was forced to turn into him, and kissed me lightly on the lips. “I don’t even register on the same scale with you.” Then he slid his hands up my arms and grabbed my face, kissing me very, very intently.

I wanted to get lost in that kiss with Jake, but my mind was already betraying me. It was already back home, strategizing and worrying about the potential threats to my marriage, not the least of which was a redhead I needed placed on the first plane out of town.

22

JAKE

“Movie’s ready!” Eve called from the living room.

We were having a romantic night in and I was cooking. “Be there in two minutes!” I called back.

The spaghetti was done—I just had to serve everything up. It was hard to believe it was almost over. One more day… and then back to reality. I was dreading it. The last two weeks had been amazing. Nothing in our real lives would ever be as relaxing or fun. It just wouldn’t.

I dumped the sauce on top of the noodles, popped in some silverware, and joined Eve on the couch in front of the television.

“Thanks, babe.” The lights were off so we were eating by the glow of the movie and the couple dozen candles Eve had placed around the little house. Eve was wearing a t-shirt and not much else. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail over one shoulder and I was kind of hoping the movie sucked so I could strip her naked and make out with her on the couch instead.

“What’s it about?”

She grinned, “Explosions and sex. I basically picked something where the words wouldn’t matter.”

The only movie choices were in French, and since I didn’t speak the language, Eve was trying to be helpful. Of course, there was the fact that Eve actually liked movies full of explosions and sex, but that was just nitpicking.

Unfortunately for me, the movie was actually pretty good. I was awake until the very end, while Eve was asleep in my lap. “Movie’s over, darlin’,” I whispered while I rubbed her back.

“Leave me on the couch, I’m comfy,” she groaned and burrowed deeper into my lap.

I sighed because, of course, that oddly felt nice. “I’m not leaving you on the couch.”

“You are such a pessimist.”

“How am I a pessimist because I don’t want to sleep without you?” Eve always came up with the funniest stuff when she was half asleep.

She sat up and looked at me with one eye open. “I don’t know. Maybe it makes you an optimist, then?”

I just shook my head and hopped to my feet. Eve took my hand and let me guide her toward the bedroom, which was pretty hard because she wasn’t looking where she was going.

“Ow.” She walked right into the wall leading to the kitchen.

“It would probably help if you opened your eyes…”

“You are so bossy.”

I just shook my head and scooped her up. “I think it’s best if I take it from here. You’re like a drunk driver, Eve.”

“Whatever,” she murmured and wrapped her arms around my neck.

She was asleep as soon as I laid her down, but I was wide awake with nothing to do. It was a dangerous combination and, for the first time since our wedding day, I thought about my conversation with my uncle. I’d successfully and very skillfully avoided it every other day. But it was always there in the back of my mind, haunting me.

Tom said a few things that I couldn’t get out of my head, the most important being I shouldn’t even bother with Ashley. I wanted to chalk up my desire to hear Ashley out to my manners, but I knew it was more than that. I felt an obligation to her, not because of our past, but because I knew what it was like to be haunted.

It was stupid, I knew it was stupid. But I couldn’t bring myself to ignore her.

We both had insanely abusive fathers, but mine usually kept his focus on me. Ashley’s didn’t, and that small difference had led to a chain of events that changed her life forever. Tom was right when he said she was far more damaged than me, but he was wrong about one thing. I was fairly sure if I had killed my father I wouldn’t have gotten back up again. He and Eve both seemed to think I had an unwavering ability to pick myself back up after being handed piles of shit.

I thought they were wrong.

Ashley was stronger than me. She was still up and walking around. She was still fighting, even if it didn’t seem healthy to everyone else. I was one of only a handful of people who knew Ashley’s full story, not even Tom and Greg knew all the details. As far as they were concerned she was like me, shitty childhood, shitty parents.

I hadn’t even told Eve. And I wasn’t going to. There was the simple fact that she didn’t need to know, but there was also a code I didn’t want to break. Ashley had allowed me to know all the details and I didn’t want to betray that confidence. People like us didn’t trust many people with details like that.

You can’t unsee those images, even when it is just your imagination putting the details together. And I didn’t want to put Eve through that.

Besides, Ashley wasn’t going to be around long enough for any of it to matter.

I didn’t want to disturb Eve, so I slipped out of bed for some water and to blow out the candles we’d left burning. When I came back I stopped in the doorway and stared at my wife.

Moonlight and candlelight were the only things lighting Eve’s soft skin. She was perfection. She was art.

The room was cast in a blue glow, but Eve’s skin looked more like the glow of the candles, soft and incandescent. The shadows weren’t pure black. Instead they were shades of grey that gradually morphed into something a shade lighter than black.

I wanted to touch her and see for myself if she was as soft and warm as she appeared, but I didn’t want to waste the opportunity in front of me—the chance to see a rare piece of art with my own eyes.

It was like Eve could sense I was restless. She rolled over and looked right at me. “Why are you awake?”

“Thinking.”

“What are you thinking?” she asked. Her dark hair was down, delicately resting against that skin I couldn’t stop staring at. Her eyes and her smile were soft flashes in the shadows. Every feeling and emotion tied to desire and need inside me was on fire.

“That you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

That’s when I heard it. That hitch in her breathing. She only made it when I caught her off-guard. Right at that moment I was so grateful for the silence. No music or rain or anything. Just Eve and me. So I heard it when she sucked it that excited little breath of air and held it.

She swallowed. “I’m looking at something amazing, too.”

By reflex I looked down at myself. I was naked except for a pair of boxers that were doing a terrible job of hiding the way I felt about Eve.

The only sound in the room was the softness of her breathing, which drew my eyes to her chest. Her naked breasts were slowly rising and falling with each excited breath. The shadows moved up and down, making her skin look so very soft…

She shook her head while she looked into my eyes. I swear she was reading my mind and finding out all my secrets because a moment later she sighed. “C’mon Romeo. We didn’t get movie sex, so we better fool around now and get your mind off your troubles.”

“Oh yeah?” I asked.

“Yep. After a good orgasm you should sleep.”

“Well, if it is what the doctor orders…” Eve was absolutely my doctor—I swear she even understood the stuff I kept from her. She had some sort of super-empathy that let her understand things she couldn’t possibly have any concept of—at least when it came to me.

“I do. I prescribe one orgasm and a good night of sleep. Now be a good patient and fuck me.”

“Yes, doctor.” I smiled but I didn’t move. I couldn’t. I needed this memory. Wasting something this perfect would be sacrilege. Besides, I’d learned a little patience went a long way.

“Don’t make me wait,” she pleaded.

“I’m not making you wait, darlin’. I’m making this count.”

She sucked in another soft breath which made every inch of my skin tingle. She closed her eyes and slowly leaned her head back. That was when I saw the slight tremble of her arms and I couldn’t resist her for another moment.

I hooked my thumbs inside the waistband of my boxers and pushed them to the floor before climbing onto the bed and moving toward Eve. “Finally,” she sighed.

“No,” I replied. “Just right.”

She shook her head and smiled slowly as she looked up into my eyes. “You are such a tease, Jake Spencer.”

“And you, Eve Spencer, are my muse.”

It was my turn to suck in a breath. I was completely overwhelmed the moment my skin made contact with hers. Soft. So much softer than I’d hoped. It didn’t matter how many times I’d touched Eve’s skin, each experience was new and unexpected.

I wanted to be close to her. I wanted her in my arms where I could hold her against me, but I didn’t want to take my eyes off of her either. “Turn over for me?”

She grinned and bit the corner of her lip. “I like what you’re thinking…”

On her knees, I pulled her body against mine, her back to my front, and eased down until she was sitting in my lap. We were completely connected from head to toe. My erection was sitting against her warm skin, throbbing and begging to be inside her, but I wasn’t ready. I was so turned on I wouldn’t last long. Besides, it gave me more time to enjoy touching her.

Above our bed was a large picture window and with the candlelight there was just enough reflection to see all the lines and curves of her body. Her belly was soft as I ran my hands across it and up to caress the outsides of her breasts. The sensation was almost too much to handle and I let out an unplanned groan.

“Like what you feel?” she murmured and gasped as my fingers closed around her nipples.

“I want more.”

She arched and laid her head back on my shoulder, giving me complete access to her body. I continued to tease her nipples, rolling and pulling as she moaned and writhed. “Bend over,” I whispered in her ear when I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to be inside her.

She moved forward onto her hands and knees. Her back was arched so that the shadows stretched across her skin, calling for me to touch her again. I ran my hands up and down her spine before wrapping them around her hips and slowly pushing my way inside her hot, slick sex.

Eve was panting and moaning my name by the time I completely buried myself inside her. The muscles of her core spasming and contracting around my hard cock and sending wave after wave of overwhelming pleasure through my body.

I buried myself inside her and pulled her ass hard against me as I sank down to my feet and stretched myself out across her back. Eve sighed with satisfaction and rested on her elbows. “I love this position. So close…”

Very close. She was in my arms, pressed completely against me with my cock inside her. It was incredibly intimate.

With one hand wrapped around her waist to hold her as close to me as possible, I slid the other under her breast and began to work it once again. Eve sucked in another excited breath before moaning loudly and shuddering. “More. I want more, Jake.”

When she begged like that, all my thoughts and plans went out the window. I followed her commands like a desperate soldier. What she asked for, I gave. If she wanted more, I would give it to her, even if took every ounce of strength inside me. I pumped into her harder and kissed her back, buried my nose in her hair, and ran my teeth along her skin. She cried out, I gave her more, until her hands clenched the sheets in fists, her muscles went rigid, and she yelled out as a powerful orgasm tore through her.

I managed to hold out for a few seconds before it was all too much for me. Her voice, the heat of her skin, and the wetness of being inside her satisfied body were more than I could handle at that angle.

When we were both relaxed and satisfied I still couldn’t let her go. I didn’t want to move ever again. The night, the glow, and the woman in my arms… it would never get any better than this.

23

EVE

“Move!” Jake pleaded.

“No.” I was not moving. I could starve to death right where I was and die a happy death. No one would blame me. I married the perfect guy, went on a dream honeymoon, and found the absolute most perfect spot on the beach. What else was there?

“Don’t make me come after you.”

“You wouldn’t dare…” I lowered my sunglasses and gave him my most deadly look. But Jake just shook his head at me.

“I’ve been more than kind to you on this trip, darlin’. Too kind.”

“Why can’t I skip lunch? We’ll eat an early dinner.”

“You think I’m going to fall for that? You’ll be passed out before two and I’ll have to carry you back. It isn’t exactly the kind of story I want to tell years from now—the day Eve nearly died from starvation because she was too comfortable to move.”

I stuck my tongue out at him and that was the end of things. He dove for me, scooping me up in his arms, walking straight into the chilly ocean.

“You are insane!” I yelled as I lost my breath. The water wasn’t chilly—it was fucking cold.

He kissed my cheek, “Maybe, but you are up and out of your chair. A guy’s gotta do what a guy’s gotta do.”

My skin was already going numb. “Can we dry off and go get lunch, then?”

He smiled, his eyebrows bouncing and his dimple showing. “Absolutely. I’m starving.”

Jake had fallen in love with this little dive restaurant in a shack (if you could even call it that) on the beach. It served his favorite whiskey and had every kind of seafood imaginable. I was happy because it had food and a view of the beach.

We settled in at the bar, Jake in his trunks and a t-shirt, me with a skimpy sundress over my bikini, and both of us with flip-flops dangling from our toes as we rested our feet against the footrest on the bar.

“Whiskey?” the bartender asked in his thick French accent.

Jake smiled and nodded, he was damn sexy when he smiled with that dimple. I held up two fingers and murmured, “Deux, sil vous plait.”

The man chuckled and grabbed the rectangular bottle of Johnny Walker, pouring the strong amber liquid over ice cubes and squeezing a wedge of lime into mine before sliding the glasses toward each of us. “Enjoy.” It sounded like two words the way he said it.

The whiskey burned my nostrils as I took a very small sip. Drinking it straight like that was like drinking fire, but it also went straight to my head without a sickeningly sweet aftertaste. I shuddered as I set the glass down. “Damn that’s strong…”

“Yep,” Jake agreed and ran his hand up my thigh. “I’ve loved being able to relax and do whatever the hell we feel like, whenever the hell we feel like it.”

I had to agree that vacation looked good on Jake. He was like a different person. He never stopped smiling and his eyes… oh god, they were pure sex. When he looked at me with those mischievous green things I was done for, every single time. They were hypnotizing and hot, but I had a feeling it also had something to do with the fact he was looking at me like he wanted to do dark, dirty things with every inch of me. It took my breath away every time and I went weak in the knees. Not to mention the deep throbbing between my legs that made me feel like I was about to pass out.

It was our last day and we’d vowed to spend every minute of it on the beach, so after I put food into my body we made our way back to our spot.

The sand was so different from anything I’d ever seen before. It was soft and full of colors from the island’s volcano. It made the beach look like it was a deep shade of rich brown, but when I looked closer I realized it was a mix of white, red, black, brown, grey, and probably more. It was beautiful. The beach sloped sharply down to the water, so Jake scooped out makeshift chairs that we laid our towels over.

“Grapes?” Jake asked, holding out the bag.

“I feel like that is starting to become a loaded question around you. Are you going to steal them away and make me kiss you?”

He grinned. “I like to keep things mysterious.”

“Hmmm….” I acted like I was seriously thinking while I popped a couple of grapes in my mouth and chewed. “Mysterious, like how and when you plan on accomplishing your final challenge?”

His grin widened. “Oh, I have that all planned out. And it will remain a mystery until then.”

Three hours later, Jake hit me with a mud ball.

It oozed down my back and plopped onto the sand. “You did not just hit me. Did you?”

When I turned around, Jake was grinning. He had a fistful of mud in one hand and the other held out as a shield. The beach was so sloped his left knee was bent while his right was standing straight. “I sure did.”

I shook my head, partially because I was shocked, and partially because I wanted desperately to peg him back, but I knew if I didn’t plan it right he’d dodge out of the way before I could hit him.

My feet were firmly planted in the wet sand, so I slowly bent down (never taking my eyes off him, the sneaky bastard) and grabbed two fistfuls of mud. I could either fling them at him right away and hope I was faster than him, or I could take the slow approach—confuse him and keep him guessing.

I went with the slow approach, slowly sauntering over until I was looking up at him. “What happened to romance and sex on the beach?”

He was breathing hard as he looked down at me, probably because I’d said “sex” at the same time I’d pushed my breasts up toward his face. “Romance can be fun, too, can’t it?”

I nodded slowly, “I suppose. Is a mud fight, fun?”

His lips twitched at the corners. “It can be.”

I took both handfuls of mud and slapped them against his chest, smearing the wet brown sand over his skin. “You’re right, this is fun.”

He shook his head and dropped his handfuls of mud on the ground, grabbed my face with his filthy hands, and kissed me hard. “You better run, Eve. I’m coming for you!”

I squealed and took off down the beach. Jake was right behind me, I could hear the pounding of his feet on the hard sand. Mud flew by my head as he unloaded, but it all missed me. I was out of breath and laughing so hard I was seeing stars when he caught me, picked me up by circling his arms around my waist from behind, and carried me into the trees.

“What are you doing?” I yelled between gasps.

“Fulfilling my list!” he huffed back, dropping me on the ground beside a blanket and towels.

“What is this?”

His lips were at my ear as he pressed his hips into my backside. “You said you didn’t want any sand in unwanted places.” That morning I’d woken him up by whispering a final challenge in his ear: sex on the beach that wasn’t awkward and didn’t hurt. I thought it was impossible but…

I shivered as his breath danced across my skin and I realized exactly what we were about to do. “The real world is seriously going to suck after this,” I sighed.

I felt his erection dig into my backside as he groaned, “Did you have to remind me?”

I spun in his arms, throwing my hands around his neck. “Let’s have one last crazy adventure, Jake. We’ll worry about the future when we get there.”

Jake grinned and kissed me. “Just how crazy are we talking?”

I rolled my eyes and pulled him down toward the blanket. “You are insatiable, Jake Spencer.”

He rolled on top of me and looked right into my eyes. “You know you love it.”

I did. I loved knowing Jake always wanted more. I just needed to keep up with him.

24

JAKE

“Welcome home Mrs. Spencer. You ready for this?”

She smirked at me, “You like asking me that question.”

I shrugged, “I like knowing we’re both ready to jump. I’d hate to drag you into something you weren’t ready for. You and me together, remember?”

“Yep, let’s do this cowboy. Back to reality.” She was staring at me with the oddest look in her eyes.

“What?”

She shook her head slowly and shrugged her shoulders. “Nothing. We should go inside.”

I didn’t try to figure out what the hell she was hinting at, I just scooped her up in my arms and opened the front door.

“I don’t think it ever gets old,” she laughed, running her hands through my hair.

“Walking through doorways?”

“No,” she replied. “Getting tossed around by you. How strong are you, exactly?”

I laughed, but every time she said something like that I got all excited. “I can’t help that you are so much smaller than me…” whatever else I was about to say died in my mouth because everything inside the house was different.

Were we in the right house?

“Surprise!” Eve shrugged, looking up at me sheepishly.

I set her down before I dropped her. “What is all this?” Boxes were neatly lined up in the living room, the furniture was gone, and the walls had a fresh coat of paint on them.

“It’s my other wedding present to you. I thought our new life should start with a home that was both of us.”

I felt a little stupid. I knew Eve was talking, but somehow the words weren’t quite making sense to me. I walked further into the room so I could see all of it. The cream walls were now a rich shade of gray and the dining room was deep blue.

“I just had them paint these two rooms for now. I noticed your old apartment and your office were both gray and blue… I thought you might like it at home, too.”

“Thank you.” Those were the only two words I could come up with. I was honestly, truly, dumbfounded.

Had I been more obvious about my feelings toward the house than I realized? Or did Eve just know me that well? Did it matter? “This means a lot to me…” I finally said, staring at the blank walls.

“You like it? It wasn’t silly?”

“God, no. This is…” the words disappeared. I didn’t know how to say thank you for making our home more than it already was. “I didn’t expect this.”

“I know. That’s what made it even more fun. You don’t ask for anything, Jake. Ever.”

I knew she was trying to make a point, but I didn’t care. We could talk about it later. All I cared about were the two rooms I was looking at. “Do you like blue and gray?”

She laughed and slid her hands around my waist, tilting her head up to look at me. “Of course. I wouldn’t have picked colors I hated. I love you, but I do have to live here.”

I nodded and started picturing where I could put a couple of my things. “Then yes, blue and gray are perfect. Do we have surprise furniture arriving soon?”

She slid her phone out and pulled up her photo album. “Tell me whether you like option A, B, or C. I’m particularly in love with option B.”

There were pictures of her and Jennie in a furniture store, lying on couches. Option A was a tan microfiber couch and matching chairs. Option B was a rich brown leather couch with brass grommets. And Option C was an elegant white couch.

“I’m in love with option B, too.”

She smiled and took back her phone, bringing up a contact and hitting “send”. “Good,” she said smiling up at me. “I was hoping to make the room a little old school and sports themed.”

“What about the dining room?” I asked, wondering if I was getting a vote on that as well.

“That is picked by default. I had two options ready depending on which living room option you chose.” She held up her hand. “Hey Rick! Thanks…. Yes we’re home. He picked option B.” There was a pause while she listened to Rick. “Perfect. Yes, everything sounds perfect. Thank you.”

She ended the call and slid the phone back into her jeans pocket. “It will be here tomorrow afternoon. Now, before I go crazy and decorate you right out of the house again, pick out anything you want in here. Do whatever you want, change whatever you want to change, I’ll come in and finish it up when you’re done.”

“Can’t we do this together? Or is this woman’s work and I’m not allowed to really help out?”

She smiled and bounced her eyebrows. “Oh no, we can totally do this together. I just wanted to make sure you had all your options available to you. You know, since you never ask for anything.”

There it was again. I ignored her comment. I wasn’t letting her bait me into a conversation like that in our first thirty minutes at home. “Let’s order pizza and redo our house.”

A small look of disappoint flashed in her eyes, but she quickly hid it. “Pepperoni or supreme?”

* * *

The last thing I wanted to do was turn my phone back on. The second to last thing I wanted to do was get dressed for work. I hadn’t been shy at all about my feelings. In fact, I’d been so damn vocal about my disinterest in returning to our old lives I was afraid Eve was going to divorce me.

But ten minutes before my alarm should have gone off, I felt her curling around me, her leg wrapping around mine, and her hands gliding across my bare chest. I brushed back her hair, “You awake?”

She shook her head.

I laughed a little and kept running my fingers through her hair. Once I was awake I couldn’t go back to sleep, so instead, I debated getting up and facing the day head-on. But the minute I tried to move, Eve wrapped herself tighter around me like she didn’t want me to move. “I’m not going anywhere.”

She sighed and burrowed in closer.

Eve didn’t want to go back to work any more than I did, she was just going about it differently. I wanted to make new plans and refocus our goals. Eve wanted to debate and think while facing her life. I was an idiot for not realizing how different we were and assuming she wanted to jump back into the heart of her most stressful month at work.

So I decided to stop being the giant man-baby I was being, and make it easier on both of us. I held her close and brushed her hair while I ran my hand up and down her arm and told her a story. “I remember one morning, waking up early just like this. I was dreading the whole day. I didn’t want to go to school. I didn’t want to think or eat or study. All I wanted to do was get to the end. So, I laid in bed, mad that I couldn’t fast-forward time and get to seven o’clock any faster.”

“What was going to happen at seven?” she asked sleepily.

I smiled since she couldn’t see me. “You’ll just have to wait and find out.”

I felt her smile against my chest.

I continued, “The whole day was shit. I don’t think I heard a single thing my teachers said,” I was purposefully using generic words like “teachers” so I could drag out the suspense. “I skipped lunch and moped around… I was useless, but at least I was something to keep me going. I got home and had nothing to do except get worked up. I changed my clothes three times.”

“Girl.”

“Do you want to hear this story?” I joked back. I waited for her nod. “After I changed for the third time—like a girl—I tried on all my hats. Then I practiced what I was going to say in the mirror. I smiled and tested all my looks out until I had it just right. And I still had an hour to kill… so I went out to the field early to practice. Normally I was a show-off, but that night I wanted to be extra awesome.”

I think Eve was holding her breath, I didn’t really feel her breathing. She had an idea of where this story was going. “Everyone started showing up and I couldn’t stop looking around. I mean, this was it. I’d waited all day long for this. And then there she was, and all that waiting didn’t matter anymore. She brought a friend—which sucked—but she was laughing and smiling, and looked just about as nervous and excited as I was, thank god. I jogged right over to her and kissed her on the cheek. I wanted to kiss her on the fucking mouth, but I didn’t want to scare her.”

Eve shook her head, “You should have kissed her, I bet she would have kissed you back.”

I sucked in a breath. “Seriously? You would have kissed me back? After one date?”

She ran her fingers up my chest and cupped my face. “We kissed twice the night before… why not?”

“We kissed more than twice.”

She propped herself up on her elbow, I could just barely make out her outline in the dark. The sun wasn’t even close to coming up yet. “No, we kissed twice. Once in the movie theater, and once at my door.”

“I kissed you a helluva lot more than once at the door.” At least it seemed like it to me.

She shook her head, her hair tickling the skin of my arm. “Nope. It was one fantastic, long, amazing, knock-my-socks-off kiss. And if you had kissed me on the lips the next night at the field, even in front of Jennie, I would have kissed you back. You weren’t the only one waiting all day…” she leaned in and kissed me tenderly on the lips. It took my breath away. “But to be perfectly honest, the kiss on the cheek was a brilliant move.”

“Brilliant, eh?” I liked the way that sounded. I was pretty bummed, even fourteen years later, to learn I could have just kissed the hell out of her—missed opportunities to have my lips on hers always hurt.

“Mmmm… Jennie thought you were so damn sweet she couldn’t stand it. And for that matter, neither could I. Do you know how happy you looked to see me?”

I ran my hand down her arm and around her hip. “I think I have an idea. It was probably pretty close to how ridiculously happy you looked to see me. You were vibrating and your smile was so big… there was no mistaking how you felt. Stephen even joked I was getting lucky that night.”

She kissed me again. “You didn’t get lucky, but it was a pretty special night.”

I sighed and pulled her lips against mine again. They were simple morning kisses, but they were still sexy. I turned her head to the side and kissed her ear, “A very special night.”

“You remember?” I couldn’t believe she actually sounded surprised.

I rolled her underneath of me, she opened her legs so I could settle between them and kissed up her neck, “Darlin’, a man doesn’t forget the night he stakes his claim on the woman he wants. That was the night you said you’d be mine and I knew I had to go after you with everything I had.”

Her nails lightly scored my skin as she ran them up my arms and across my shoulders, tilting her hips up to grind against mine. “No regrets about that decision?” she was joking and begging me to show her exactly how happy I was to be her husband.

“The only thing I regret about that night, is not kissing you on the lips.”

She gasped as I wrapped my arm around her waist and began nudging my cock against her sex. She arched her back to accommodate me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders for leverage. Her skin against mine felt amazing, but my cock pressing into her warm and clearly aroused body was mind numbing. “You can make it up to me by giving me an orgasm before heading back to reality.”

I gave her a fucking mind-blowing orgasm, one that had her smiling all the way out the front door with her coffee in one hand and her work bag in the other. I followed her out the door and to the interstate where we went our separate ways. Every second I drove, I could physically feel the distance between us growing. I tried to comfort myself with the fact that I could still drop in and surprise her any time. We could still meet for lunch and she could still come surprise me at work. We had a good life here. We both had good jobs with enough seniority we could make our schedules fairly flexible.

But it wasn’t enough. Not for me.

Fuck, it wasn’t even close to enough.

I was so far up inside my head when I walked into work I almost skipped saying hello to Lisa and the rest of the staff, all of whom were waiting for me with ridiculous grins and lots of congratulations. “That was the most romantic wedding I have ever been to!” Lisa gushed.

“Thank you,” I replied. I really didn’t know what else to say to that. It wasn’t like I was going to talk about the lighting and flower arrangements.

“I’ve never seen two people so in love. You two are just perfect,” she said and grabbed a tissue. “I’m so happy for you, boss.”

I rolled my eyes and hugged her. “I really appreciate that.” Which I did. I wasn’t good at accepting the gushing praise people gave me about Eve because I was always so overwhelmed by their genuine emotions. I knew Lisa liked me, but understanding she cared about me and my well-being was an entirely different thing.

“Finally, the slacker is back!” Greg said loudly and obnoxiously. “How dare you leave me like that!”

“The building is still standing, so I’m pretty sure you managed,” I joked as we clapped each other on the back. “I just turned my phone back on and saw the number of messages. You’re lucky I’m here at all. I almost threw my phone in the bay, grabbed Eve, and kept driving.”

Greg laughed and started pushing me toward my office. “It’s not that bad, I promise. You can delete most of them, it’ll just take a few hours of your life to sift through them all.”

I waved at Lisa and the others as we disappeared down the hallway. I flicked on the light to my office and was actually a little happy to see it. It was the same shade of gray Eve just painted our living room, which was surprisingly comforting. My desk was clear and my work bench still had my little projects right where I’d left them.

Ok, so being back at work wasn’t nearly as horrible as I’d worked it up to be in my head.

Greg closed the door behind him and threw himself onto my couch. “Good honeymoon? You look good.”

“Thanks,” I replied as I set my bag down and sat at my desk. “It was perfect, actually. Almost didn’t come home.”

“I don’t blame you. If I had a woman like Eve on a tropical island, I might not come back either.”

I studied Greg trying to figure him out. He looked a little uncomfortable, which made me a little uncomfortable. “How were things here?”

“Smooth for the most part. You trained everyone really well. Only had a couple of hiccups.”

Greg continued to fidget and he wasn’t looking me in the eye which could only mean one thing. Something hadn’t gone well with Ashley.

“How are things with The Nugget?”

Greg leaned forward and cracked his neck, “Not as well as I wanted. I was hoping to have everything taken care of by now. There are only a few loose ends but… Ashley’s up to something, I think.”

“You always think she’s up to something.”

He glared at me. “She is always up to something.”

“Ok, let’s get to the point. Where are we at?” I didn’t want to get into a fight with Greg in my first hour back at work.

“Steele is doing due diligence. Ash has been meeting with them for the last couple of days and you have meetings scheduled with them for the rest of the week. If everything goes as planned, the contracts will be ready on Monday.”

That sounded great to me. “What’s the catch?”

Greg shrugged, “Nothing, really. Something just feels off. I almost called and told you to take another week, but Steele wanted to meet with you personally. Fuckers.”

“I can handle it. In fact, I’m kind of excited to put all of this to rest and move on with everything.”

Greg looked at me like I was crazy. “Whatever you say.”

There was a knock on my door and a second later Ashley poked her head inside uninvited. “Hey, I heard you were back.”

“Come in,” I replied, not really wanting her to come in.

She slid inside and closed the door. Greg glared at her so she stayed where she was, throwing an equally icy stare back at him. Clearly nothing had changed in my absence.

“So, Greg has been bringing me up to speed. We’re on track for Monday?”

She smiled, “Yes. You sure you don’t want to reconsider? Greg doesn’t need you here, you know.”

Greg rolled his eyes.

“Ash,” I replied. “I’m very happy with where I’m at. I like working with this big idiot.”

“Hey,” Greg scoffed. “This big idiot held down the fort while you took a vacation. Be nice to me.”

“And I’m very grateful. We had a perfect honeymoon.”

“Well,” Ashley interrupted, “now that the dream is over and reality is back, I hope it’s everything you’re looking for.”

I must have been feeling particularly fresh and confident because the next things out of my mouth were probably some of the dumbest things I’d ever said in all my life. “It will be. In fact, let’s have a celebratory dinner at our house tomorrow night. Everyone can make nice and part on good terms.” I wanted Eve to see for herself how little Ashley and I had between us, and I could make it clear to Ashley that this was the end of everything. It would be a perfect, clean break for everyone.

“Wonderful,” Ashley said with a smile. She opened the door, “Let me know if you need me to bring anything.” Then she left.

“You’re an idiot.” Greg sighed, standing up. “And I know exactly how this conversation goes from here so I’m going to save my breath and blood pressure. Check your calendar, everything is in there. Let me know if you have any questions.”

He slammed the door behind him and I knew in the pit of my stomach I was going to regret being a moron.

25

EVE

Jake, Greg, and Ashley were up in Jake’s office going over the contracts while I was downstairs with Jennie and Andrew getting dinner ready.

“So that’s her…” Andrew drawled with a sideways glance as he mixed a pitcher of mojito’s. I was gonna need a nice tall glass of that. Or two. Hell, I wanted the whole damn pitcher. Having her in my house, laughing and existing… I just wanted to float away on a cloud of drunkeness.

“Yep.”

Andrew cocked an eyebrow. “You like her that much, eh?”

I nodded as I finished chopping the last of the tomatoes. I was a notorious finger slicer when it came to prepping vegetables so I had to get it done before I got my greedy little hands on that first mojito.

“You’re doing great. I’m pretty sure we’d all feel the same way in this situation.”

I dumped the last of the diced tomatoes onto the avocado and onion mix already in the bowl. “There you go master chef. Turn that baby into guacamole.”

“Not gonna talk to me about this?”

I smiled sweetly, “Not if you want the roof to stay on this house.”

“Ouch. Ok…”

I didn’t waste any time pulling out a tumbler, filling it with ice, and pouring a nice tall glass. The taste was sweet and bitter as it hit my tongue and the mint aftertaste was refreshing. It was exactly what I needed to stay happy around her.

Jake had been pretty cryptic about the whole dinner thing, but the vibe I got off of him was weird. I knew he wasn’t telling me everything, but I also couldn’t find a single bad intention anywhere in his behavior. I got the distinct impression he really needed this night.

Why—I had no idea. But considering how many things I still didn’t understand about Jake’s past, I decided to take a leap of faith in my new husband and hope to hell he knew what he was doing.

With every sip my shoulders got a little lighter and my fake smile got a little happier, until the entire kitchen seemed to lighten up.

I would make it through the night with the help of my good friend alcohol.

Jennie walked in and stared at me. I could only imagine what I looked like leaned up against the counter with this ridiculous grin on my face. She shot Andrew a questioning look and he shrugged, “She’s self-medicating. I decided it was probably a good idea.”

It was a damn fine idea. Andrew and I had become excellent friends, and that was often strengthened by our silent understanding of each other.

Jennie cocked an eyebrow and rolled her eyes. “Whatever.” Then she pulled me onto the porch where the grill was hot and ready for the steak we’d prepared for dinner. I plopped onto the lounge chair closest to the grill while Jennie busied herself with arranging the tongs and food. “Talk.”

“Nope.” I was sticking with single word answers. They were concise and effective.

“Yes.” Jennie countered. “Now.”

I stuck my tongue out at her and shrugged my shoulders. “Miserable.”

“I would be, too.” She let me be for a minute while she arranged the first round of steaks on the grill, then shut the lid and sat down beside me. “Has Jake lost his mind?”

I snort-laughed, it was very unlike me. “I’m wondering that myself.”

“When you called to invite us over, I thought you were joking.”

I took a deep breath and tried to focus through the mojito fog. “He’s determined and I think that in his mind, tonight is proving some kind of point.”

“That he’s insane?” Jennie asked slowly.

“That he’s not his past.”

Jennie’s eyes softened. “Oh. Crap.”

“I know. I just couldn’t get mad over it. He’s clearly fighting Ashley and his past whether he realizes it or not. And he doesn’t want to talk about it… or maybe I didn’t want to talk about it. We just got home… things are supposed to be perfect for a while, aren’t they?”

Jennie rubbed my arm and stood back up to check the steaks. “It’s just dinner. If Jake needs this, then we’ll all get through this together, for Jake.”

“I don’t trust her.” I confessed.

“I don’t blame you. I don’t either.”

Her camaraderie made me feel a little better. “My instincts tell me there is more to her than meets the eye. I trust Jake. I know he loves me and he’d never hurt me like that. But her… that is another story. I can’t explain it. I just have a bad vibe.”

Jennie glanced down at me. “Slow down on the alcohol. We don’t want a scene.”

* * *

We seriously have the best friends. They kept Ashley distracted for most of the dinner. Unfortunately the more I learned about her, the more human she became to me. I think Greg was catching on to that fact because he suddenly turned into Greg the Storyteller. He commanded the rest of the dinner with one hilarious story after another.

“And then Jake starts yelling at the bartender in German, which just totally confused the moron since we were in England, and instead of throwing us out, he poured us each a pint of Guinness and told us we needed to chill the fuck out.”

Jake hung his head while he laughed quietly. His cheeks were a little red with embarrassment and it was kind of adorable. “Ok, ok… stop now before you tell them my real secrets!”

Greg grinned and his eyes were positively mischievous. “Oh, trust me, I’m saving those. It’s always good to have ammunition.”

Jake shook his head and grinned back. Oh, there was so much between those two I still had to learn. “Can I say something serious?” Jake asked looking around the table. “Good. First I want to thank all of you for coming over tonight. I really want to celebrate the selling of The Nugget and wish my friend Ashley well with her new opportunities at Steele Industries. I know she’s going to set them on fire.”

Ashley blushed and basked under Jake’s praise.

I wanted to vomit.

“Thank you Jake.” She had one of those soft, feminine voices that made my skin crawl.

Greg rolled his eyes while Jennie and Andrew both smiled politely.

“I’m sure,” she continued with the oddest smile on her face, “That you’ll do just fine here as well.”

I thought it was a really strange statement and I was glad to see an equally confused look on Greg’s face, but Jake seemed to simply brush it aside. He smiled and raised his glass before finishing off his whiskey.

I studied her as we all finished off our dinners. She was dressed in a simple blue dress that complimented her eyes and skin. Her red hair was smoothly styled over one shoulder and her makeup was perfect. She was flawless.

It was her lack of imperfections that really struck me. No one was that perfect.

Her smiles were so practiced and her laugh never quite seemed genuine. Everything about her looked perfect and sweet, but just beneath the surface there was a hint of something else. I just wasn’t sure what.

I pushed back my chair and started gathering plates. Jake hopped up and grabbed the garbage can, helping me clear the table. He moved closer and closer until he was right behind me. I could feel his warmth a moment before he pressed into me.

All the tension I’d been fighting melted away and I took a deep breath. It was amazing how Jake could relax me just by touching me. Maybe I could forgive him for inviting her over to dinner.

Maybe.

It was really unlike him to ask something like this from me, so whatever was driving his need to have her over for dinner was obviously deep-seated. And that kind of scared me.

Jake knew I couldn’t stand her.

He placed his hand lightly on my hip and nibbled at my earlobe before whispering in my ear, “I can’t wait to kick all these people out of our house so I can have my way with you.”

I turned my head so that I could look at him and whispered back, “That makes two of us.”

Jake’s eyes sparkled and he squeezed my hip before winking and moving around me to finish clearing the garbage.

I was dumbfounded. This Jake was a complete mystery to me.

“Can I get that for you?” Greg asked, holding out his hands for the last of the dishes.

“Sure,” I replied.

He followed me into the kitchen, setting the stack on the sink. “So… tonight sucks.”

I laughed. “Yep. Sure does.”

“You doing ok?” He was genuinely concerned. His blue eyes were full of empathy.

“I am,” I replied. “I’m just confused.”

He huffed. “That makes two of us.”

“Well crap. If you don’t know what’s going on with him and I don’t know what’s going on with him…”

Greg shook his head and leaned back against the counter with his arms crossed over his broad chest. “He never knew how to handle her and this is his way of proving a point.”

“A point?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he pulled me into a brotherly bear hug. “I think our boy is trying to send Ashley off into the sunset with the visual of him happy here. He thinks it will get through her head.”

“You don’t?” I didn’t like the way Greg had said “thinks”.

He sighed. “I honestly don’t know. It just worries me.”

“What are we going to do with my sweet, blind husband?”

Greg chuckled and gave me a squeeze before letting me go. “Let him work through this on his own and get his back like we always do.”

“Thanks for being his friend.” I didn’t have the proper words in that moment to adequately tell Greg how much I loved having him as part of our family.

Greg stopped moving and simply nodded. He opened his mouth to reply but stopped when Jennie pranced in. “Let’s get these dishes clean so we can have some fun!”

Jake had disappeared with Andrew to show him his latest cigar purchase while Jennie and Greg tackled the dishwasher, so I wandered into my library to escape all the weirdness I was feeling. The moment I was through the door I felt more at peace. This was my sanctuary. It was a place where all I had to do was pull a book—any book—off the shelf and I could escape into another world for a few minutes. I ran my hands along the book spines not really looking at the titles. I wasn’t looking for something to read, just a momentary connection to that feeling of escape.

That was when she walked in. It was taking everything I had to not yell at her. Because I really just wanted to scream, “Get out!” but I was pretty sure it wouldn’t go over so well on Miss Sweet and Delicate.

She stepped inside with confidence, but seemed to suddenly second guess her decision and shrink back, but it was too late to leave. Her blue eyes narrowed and she forced a smile onto her porcelain face.

For just a moment I daydreamed about using her face for pitching practice.

“Can I help you?” I tried to say it nicely, but it didn’t quite come across that way. I really wanted her out of my house, out of my life, and out of my marriage.

To her credit, she didn’t flinch or waver in any way. “Everyone seems to have disappeared.” I wasn’t buying her sweet and delicate routine for a minute.

“Jake and Andrew are upstairs, Greg is probably smoking on the porch, and who knows where the hell Jennie went.”

“Jennie used to live here with you?”

Her question irritated me. “Yes, off and on since college. Sometimes she forgets this isn’t her house anymore and disappears. She’s probably freaking out because we redid the house after the wedding.”

Ashley nodded as if that was an acceptable answer. “This room is beautiful.” She walked over to the brown leather couch and ran her hands over the top cushion, which only irritated me more.

“Jake has his office, I have a library.”

“You’ve read all these books?”

I shook my head, “No, I collect them. I like knowing there is always something new to find.”

Then she wandered over to the window that looked out over the backyard. “It is very peaceful here.”

For the life of me I couldn’t figure out why we were having a conversation. “Can we stop with the pleasantries and talk honestly for a minute?”

She spun to face me, her face a complete blank. I wished I could read her, maybe then I’d be able to understand the things I was feeling about her. I desperately wanted to know if it was my own fears coming through, or something I really needed to worry about.

Jake’s bizarre behavior was throwing off my usual radar and I was really confused by all the extreme things I was feeling.

“I think that would be good for both of us. Eve, I’m honestly here for business and nothing else.”

There were a thousand unspoken meanings to her words and I heard them all. It was in the cadence of her words and the rise and fall of her voice. I had no doubt in my mind she came here hoping to rekindle her relationship with Jake. Her disappointment was palpable and her conviction was thin at best—she was saying she had no interest in Jake to convince herself as much as me.

This was no time to doubt my instincts. If I had a bad feeling about her, then I needed to trust myself.

“I honestly find that hard to believe.”

She blinked a couple of times, but didn’t move. “You have always infatuated him, he came back for you, he married you. I’m fairly certain I lost this war before it even started, Eve.”

I tried not to smile. It took everything I had. “And yet, I get the feeling that doesn’t stop you.”

“I think you and I are a lot alike in that department. We both go after what we want and we don’t take no for an answer.”

What was it about her that Jake found appealing?

He claimed it was nothing more than a friendship with obvious benefits, but it had to be more than that. Ashley was awful. I couldn’t imagine Jake putting up with her for five years.

Sure she was freakishly beautiful, but this was Jake we were talking about. Even he wasn’t that superficial.

“Are you still in love with him?”

I’d never seen someone with such a freakish ability to act, but Ashley was amazing. If I hadn’t been looking her in the eyes when I asked my question I would have missed the two second flicker of passion she quickly extinguished.

“I loved him and we were good together.”

Hearing another woman say she loved Jake—that they had something unique—probably hurt as much as Jake leaving me in the first place.

No, that was a lie. This hurt a helluva lot more.

“Greg seems to think you were the exact opposite of good for Jake.” I whispered. I really, really wished she wasn’t affecting me so much.

“I think that is a matter of perspective. Greg is a self-righteous ass. He had no idea what was really happening in Jake’s life.”

“But you know? You know better than any of the rest of us, am I right?”

“Exactly,” she said quickly. “And I understand. Can you honestly say you will ever be able to understand how he feels or what he went through?” She waved her hands around my library. “You’ve had your whole life handed to you. You and Jake may as well have come from different planets.”

The insult cut deep. “I think you have the wrong idea about me Ashley. I work very hard and very passionately for the life I want. If you think I’m a silly girl who just wants a pretty man to do my bidding then you’ve got another thing coming. I love Jake and I always have.”

Ashley studied me for a long moment. “Jake only lets people see what he wants them to see. If you think you can understand him and be there for him in the way he really needs, well then you’ve got another thing coming.” She took a step towards me. “And it will destroy you both.”

Neither of us said a thing after that. The silence between us was cold and nearly tangible it was so thick with meaning.

“I’m going to say this once and only once,” I was so angry I had to speak through my teeth. This other woman had come into my home and had the balls to tell me she still loved Jake and knew things about him no one else knew.

“Stay away from my husband. You have one opportunity.” I held up my finger for emphasis. “One. I do not give second chances. One slip up and I will have you tossed out of here so fast your head will spin. Trust me on that.”

She took a defensive stance across from me. Miss Sweet and Delicate most definitely had a harder side. Her voice dropped, “I care about him, you know. I want him to be happy. He thinks he’s safe with you, but I don’t agree. I think he’s in danger.”

“In danger of what?” I was shocked, angry, and losing all my control.

“He has a fantasy in his head and when he realizes it’s just a fantasy, he will be lost. Do you know what people like us look like when we’re lost?”

“I do,” I replied quietly. Her eyes sharpened for a moment—she didn’t believe me. I imagined in her world, where I was a silly girl in love with the fantasy of Jake, I didn’t have time to really get to know him, but she was wrong. I was there for him even when he tried to push me away. I saw first-hand what Jake looked like when he was lost and confused by the dueling thoughts in his head. “Let’s get one thing clear, Ashley.” Oh, how I hated saying her name, “There is one thing I care about more than anything else, and that’s Jake. I can handle him, and anything else that comes our way, just fine. I’m his wife. I do not play games with the things I care about and I will do anything and everything to protect that.”

Jake was the one thing in my life I would never compromise on.

“Make sure of it,” she said. Then she turned toward the door to leave.

“Ashley, I mean it. One toe out of line and you’ll wish you’d never set foot back in the States.”

She glanced back at me over her shoulder, her eyes locking onto mine for just a moment. Then she nodded and left.

26

JAKE

If I plugged one more variable into one more formula I was going to lose my shit. I could not, for some reason, find the perfect balance between cost and safety that I wanted.

So I pushed back from the computer and decided what I needed was some time with my hands. In the corner of my office workshop was my pet project: a new robotic motor.

Working problems through with my hands was always the best way to relax my mind.

Well that, or working Eve over with my hands.

A shit-eatin’ grin crept across my face as a dozen ideas for what to do when I got home flashed through my brain.

Yes, I liked working with my hands…

“Stop day dreamin’ buttercup.” Greg burst in through my main office door and threw himself on the couch by the door.

“I’m not daydreaming. I’m thinking.”

“Tit, tat. Shit, shat. Whatever.”

I set down the motor and turned toward Greg. “You have a gift for words, you know that, right?”

He grumbled and loosened his tie. “Look, I’ve just spent two hours in a meeting with Pita.”

“Pita” was Greg-slang for Ashley. He called her the giant “Pain In the Ass”. “What is with you two? I have never heard so many nicknames for one person.”

Greg grinned, “The Annihilator and me, you mean? What does she call Pita?”

I rolled my eyes because the last thing I wanted to do was encourage either one of them. “Mostly she refuses to refer to Ashley by name. She calls her, her. But her other nickname is Miss Sweet and Delicate.”

Greg snorted. “I like it. The sarcasm is perfect.”

“You two should really cool it. Ash doesn’t deserve it.”

Greg raised his eyebrows and huffed. “You are an idiot, my friend. A blind, stupid idiot.”

Greg had never liked Ashley. Not ever. I usually just chalked it up to their extremely different personalities. Sometimes women and men just don’t get along.

Ashley was definitely the kind of woman who liked to be treated like a woman. She wanted manners and preferential treatment at all times. She always acted the part of the Sweet and Delicate flower. Greg, on the other hand, despised being required to treat women so carefully. It was his belief there was a time and place for that kind of behavior. And it was not at work.

“Why am I a blind, stupid idiot?” I sighed.

He just shook his head like I was some poor sap. “She isn’t who you think she is. She’s had you wrapped around her pretty little finger since day one. You liked it back then. Fuck, maybe it was even what you needed. Hell if I know. All I know is she is as fake as they come. She is one giant act. Your wife deserves an Academy Award for living through last night.”

“What now?”

“Oh, come on,” Greg threw his hands in the air. “She hates Ashley, and yet she smiled all night long. Sure, she was half drunk at dinner, but really, I couldn’t blame her for that. You sir, are an asshole.”

My defenses shot up faster than Greg’s words could sink in. “This is none of your damn business, Greg.”

That was when I knew I was in trouble. Greg seared a hole through me with a stare that made my blood run cold. I’d seen him mad before, and what I was looking at now was on an entirely different level. When he spoke, his voice was quiet and controlled. “What happens between you and Eve is your business, but when you hurt her, you are messing with me, too.”

“You are my friend, not hers.” I don’t even know why I said that. It was so far off point.

Greg let out a long slow breath and the vein in his neck throbbed. “Let’s get one thing straight: I am friends with both of you. But if I had to pick a side right now, it would be hers.”

“How did I hurt her?” I was being entirely too defensive, but I couldn’t stop myself. “She said she was fine with Ashley.”

Greg looked at me like I was a child. “Eve was fine with giving you what you asked for because she loves you, you big dumb asshole. It does not mean she was fine with having your ex-lover under her roof. Are you telling me if Eve asked Sebastian over to work out a few lingering issues from their past you wouldn’t be upset and wondering what the hell was happening to your marriage?”

Just the mention of Eve’s ex-boyfriend made me want to punch a hole in the wall. It didn’t matter that she didn’t love him. I hated everything about that man and spending one party in the same room with him was as much as I could tolerate for one lifetime. “I thought Eve was better than me,” I said as much to myself as to Greg.

He rolled his eyes. “She is.”

That hurt, but it was true.

I sat there quietly because I didn’t know what to say. I had totally and completely misread Eve. Greg was right—I was an idiot. “I honestly thought she was simply better at putting the past away than I was.”

“The past, maybe. Your old flame? Eve? Really? Seriously,” he shook his head at me, “when you’re getting relationship advice from me, you’re in a bad place my friend.”

“Shit.” I couldn’t sit still. I wanted fix things with Eve right then and there.

Greg laughed at me as he stood up and headed toward the door. “If I were forced to have dinner with my wife’s ex-lover, I probably would have gotten even drunker than Eve, then ripped out the assholes esophagus and beaten him to death with it. She must really love your loser ass.”

Greg could seriously paint a mental picture like no one else. “You don’t have a wife.”

“And it’s a damn good thing, too.”

I stopped on my way home and bought Eve’s favorite chocolate cake from the little French bakery she loved. We’d been home less than a week and I’d already screwed everything up. If I was lucky she wouldn’t divorce me. I really didn’t know how to make up for last night. I’d never really had to make up with Eve before. Not like this.

When I opened the front door I was hit on all fronts. Music was blaring, food was obviously cooking, and lights were low with candles lit everywhere. I found Eve singing and dancing in the kitchen, her back to me, while she chopped vegetables. I didn’t want to scare her with a knife in her hands, so I dangled the bag with the cake from my index finger and cleared my throat loudly.

She spun around and grinned at me, her eyes dropping to the bag and back up again. “Hey there. What have we here?”

She was wearing a tank top and exercise shorts—and obviously nothing else. I was instantly turned on. “I brought you dessert.”

Her eyes flashed with something dark and dirty. Dessert was rarely eaten with a fork in our house. “To what do I owe such a lovely surprise?” She took a step toward me, taking the bag and placing it on the counter.

She was inches away, and yet I could feel her body warmth. I wanted to touch her, but I held back. “I wanted to apologize for last night.”

Her eyes flicked up to mine, but she didn’t say a word. Her breathing changed, but it wasn’t heavy with desire like I’d hoped. It was ragged, like she was upset. “Oh,” she finally said. Then she leaned back against the counter, crossing her arms protectively across her chest. “How was work today?”

I wanted to pull her into my arms, rip the barrier between us away, and physically force her to forgive me, but I knew that wasn’t going to work. I couldn’t fix my screw-up with a hug or sex. I needed to start talking. “Work was fine. Normal.” I explained. “Greg took the meetings with Ashley and I didn’t see her at all.”

I honestly couldn’t read Eve. She was stone—no expression on her face anywhere. “And I wanted to say thank you. I needed last night but I know it must have been hard for you.”

She blinked a few hundred times. “Hard?” she finally said. “Hard? You invite your ex over and you think it was hard for me? You are such a fucking hypocrite!”

Yeah, that hurt a little. “I know I asked things of you I couldn’t do myself. But I really needed to close that chapter.”

Eve looked like she wanted to punch me as she turned away and paced around the kitchen. “Do you realize you didn’t even ask me how I was last night?” She stopped and glared at me from across the island. “When they left, you just asked me if I was ready for bed, we had quick sex, and turned out the lights.” She threw her hands up in the air and looked at the ceiling. “I had dinner with your ex and all you had in you was quick sex and a cuddle?”

She was almost yelling by that point and I couldn’t blame her. “I was a selfish asshole, Eve.”

She balled up her fists and screamed at me. It was unintelligible, but clearly full of curse words. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

I took my life into my own hands and calmly walked around the island, placing my hands on her hips. “I needed her to see that I have a good life here. One she could never be a part of. That my old life is dead and gone, and my new life is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Ash is a visual person. I could tell her until I was blue in the face that I loved my company and being married to you was exactly what I needed, but until she could see it for herself, it wasn’t going to sink in.”

I expected Eve to soften, to allow me to kiss her or hold her, but that wasn’t what happened. She put her palms on my chest and pushed me away instead. “Ashley and I had a very interesting conversation after dinner, Jake. One in which she told me how much she loved you.”

Well that was an interesting development. A really unexpected, crappy, development.

I was in much deeper shit than I realized.

Eve paced around to the opposite side of the island, crossed her arms back over her chest, and glared at me. “I’m not sure your grand plan worked, Jake.”

“What did you say to her?” I asked tentatively.

The corners of her lips twitched up in an evil smile. One I kind of found a little hot. “I did what I do. I warned her she wouldn’t like stepping on my territory.”

I felt my own lips twitch up a little. “I love you.”

“I know. But you’re still a selfish bastard.”

“I should have talked this over with you first, huh?”

She shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Jake, I know you’re still getting used to having a wife and not simply making blanket decisions for yourself… but yeah, this is one of those things you should have cleared with me first.”

I took a chance and started to slowly walk around the island. It felt like Eve was warming up to me. Possibly even willing to forgive me. “I’m sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing.”

She sighed and closed her eyes. “I don’t understand, Jake. I feel like you’re keeping things from me.”

Part of me wanted to tell Eve everything, I always wanted to tell her everything, but with Ashley it was different. Telling Eve everything would only make things more confusing and it wasn’t my story to tell. “I’m not going to lie to you, Eve. I’m going to be brutally honest and I’ll let you decide what you what to know. Ok?”

I dipped down to catch her gaze. It was such a relief to look into her eyes. Sure she was as mad as ever, but what I really saw was confusion. “Start talking, Jake. My patience isn’t going to last forever.”

“Alright. I’ve told you just about everything there is to know about my relationship with her, so if you are worried about that, don’t be. It was exactly what I told you—a convenient friendship.”

I felt Eve tense under my hands and she was looking at my chest, not my eyes, but she was listening.

“I never loved her. Hell,” I sighed, “I wasn’t even a very good friend. I was very selfish and wasn’t in a place to really care about anyone. She knew that and she knew what she was getting herself into, so I always absolved myself of any blame when it came to our past. That was probably shitty of me, too.”

Damn, I was such a horrible person. The more I heard myself talk, the more I hated myself. So many mistakes…

“I hate that you know so much about my past, and I can’t change it. But Ashley’s…” I swallowed and looked up at Eve. She was staring at me with her arms wrapped around her body.

“How bad is it?” her voice was so quiet.

“Bad,” was all I said. But it was all I needed to say. Eve nodded once and started rubbing her arms like she was cold. I wanted to walk over to her and make her warm, but I gave her a second to process everything I was saying instead.

“And you don’t want to tell me about it?”

I shook my head. It was the last thing I wanted. I didn’t like knowing Ashley’s history, how could anyone else? “No. I don’t want to put someone else’s shitty history in your lap. I just want to leave the damn past in the past already.”

I could feel every inch of the distance between us and I hated all of it. “I’m trying to understand,” she finally said.

“I’m sorry I invited her over here and I’m even more sorry I didn’t stop to think how all of this might affect you. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me.” I really didn’t.

Eve sighed and shook her head, then she crossed the kitchen and came to stand right in front of me. “There is nothing wrong with you, Jake. You’re in a weird situation and you’re trying to do the right thing. I get that. But…”

I raised my eyebrows, “But?”

“But you have to talk to me. You can’t just assume you know what I’m thinking or what is best for me.”

“I’m sorry,” I repeated. “It was a dickhead move to do all of this without talking it through with you first.” I genuinely felt like a moron.

“The thing is,” she smiled up at me, “it’s one of the things I really find very hot most of the time. I like decisive, commanding Jake. So I guess I have to accept a few misses here and there.”

“You like the cocky bastard routine, don’t you Eve?” All the distance between us was melting. She was letting me back in.

Her chest was rising and falling rapidly. “I love cocky Jake. Yes.”

I picked her up and set her down on the counter in front of me, pushing her knees out so I could settle between her thighs. Eve rested her hands gently on my shoulders. She didn’t pull me against her, but she didn’t push me away either.

I ran my nose up her throat and settled behind her ear. She shivered.

“Forgive me?”

Her hands curled around my shoulders as she sucked in an excited breath, but Eve still didn’t answer me.

So I ran my right hand up her thigh and pressed my thumb up against her sex at the exact moment I whispered in her ear, “Please forgive me, Eve.”

She whimpered and nodded. “I forgive you.”

Then I tugged on her earlobe while I moved my thumb under her shorts, finding the warm, wet promise of make-up sex. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too,” she groaned, running her fingers up into my hair and pressing my lips against her chest.

I grinned. Having my face planted between her breasts with my hand up her shorts was probably one of the best places in the world. “How can I make it up to you?”

I pressed my thumb inside her and she arched her back, groaning and pulling me against her with her feet. “Shut up, you cocky bastard. You know what I want.”

27

EVE

Jake pushed inside me with his thumb and I forgot everything we were talking about. How could I think about the past or my anger when his thumb was doing fantastic things to the most sensitive part of my body?

He pulled me closer to the edge of the counter and I leaned back on my hands. I was so turned on I couldn’t see straight, so I closed my eyes and enjoyed the way Jake was saying he was sorry. “Don’t be quiet. I want to hear everything you’re feeling.” His voice was hoarse.

But it was more than that. He was looking for a way into my head through sex.

“I hate you for last night.”

He groaned and kissed his way down my neck to my chest. When his mouth found my nipples under the thin fabric of my tank top I let him hear just how aroused I was, too.

“Oh baby…” he sighed.

I grinned as I ran my fingers through his hair and his thumb turned into two fingers stroking and massaging until I was panting and tugging at his hair for leverage. “You didn’t talk to me.”

He pulled back and looked up into my eyes. “I won’t make that mistake twice.”

He kissed me with one hand in my hair and one inside my body and, for a minute, I forgot about everything but loving Jake. “She’s not you,” I whispered. I knew I was treading into territory I probably couldn’t navigate, but I dove in anyway. Jake stilled, but didn’t look up at me. I kept talking. “Jake, in any other world I would have had her tossed out on her backside and I probably would have picked a huge fight with you. But I couldn’t. This is complicated and I know it. As much as I want this to be a black and white issue, it isn’t.” I grabbed his chin and tilted his face up to mine. “I know you’re confused and I’m trying to be understanding, but you have to trust me.”

He swallowed and the dark look in his eyes about broke my heart. “I trust you more than I’ve ever trusted anyone, Eve.” He slowly pulled his fingers out of my body and wrapped himself around me, burying his face in my shoulder. “I do trust you. I just don’t always know how to say what’s going on in my head because I don’t know what’s going on in my head.”

I wished holding him could actually make Jake’s problems go away. “But you’re writing, right?”

He nodded against my shoulder, digging his fingers into my sides as he held me tighter. “Yes.”

“Good. Keep writing and try to talk to me more, ok? We’ll get through this.”

He started kissing my neck and massaging my hips. He was upset and thinking too much about things he couldn’t change. That was when my eyes fell on the bag he brought home. “I think we should eat dessert before dinner.”

I felt his grin against my skin. “I think that is a fantastic idea.”

While we ate dessert, dinner got cold. Not that I cared. Jake reenacted round two of our wedding night with shocking precision. Licking chocolate off of each other was one of my new favorite ways to relax.

The combination of memories and emotions was overwhelming.

He was on the counter on his back with me draped across his chest. I was exhausted and relaxed and oddly happy, all things considered. Words started falling out of my mouth before I could stop them. “When we’re like this, I’m always happy. When it’s just you and me… nothing else matters. It’s everything else that gets in the way.”

He was rubbing my back and pulling his fingers through my hair. The rise and fall of his broad chest was as comforting as anything I’d ever felt. “If I could find a way to hide us away, I would,” he whispered.

I thought about our honeymoon and how happy we were for those two weeks. Why couldn’t the rest of our lives be just as simple? “I think that should be our goal. You and me.”

He was quiet for a minute and I wondered what he was thinking about but I still didn’t want to push him. Jake needed to work through all of this himself. “We should really eat some dinner…” he chuckled.

It took a few minutes in the microwave to warm our food back up. We ate dinner cross legged on the counter. “How have we never done this before?” Jake asked as he shoved a forkful in his mouth.

“I don’t know, but we can do it again any time. Especially if we have sex as an appetizer.”

Jake grinned, his dimple showing in his left cheek.

I looked Jake in the eye. “You do realize that after this, if any other ex’s or Miss Sweet and Delicate shows up again, I’m enacting a zero tolerance policy, right?”

“I had no doubt. Thank you for understanding that this was a unique situation.”

I studied him while he ate. I still don’t think he really understood. To him, Ashley was in the same position he’d been in once. She just needed someone to help. I could see his point of view—that turning his back on Ashley was like turning his back on himself. Jake was too close to his own situation. He couldn’t see what Greg and I could see: he and Ashley weren’t in the same position. Helping her and dragging us along for the ride wasn’t going to fix things and it certainly wasn’t going to redeem anyone.

Once is a lesson. Twice wasn’t going to happen.

28

JAKE

I was sitting in yet another conference room waiting for yet another meeting… with Ashley... when all I really wanted was to be with Eve, who was also stuck in a late meeting at work. I hoped to hell after everything was settled on Monday our lives would get a lot simpler. A week ago we were relaxing and having sex. This week we were stressed and busy. I didn’t like this change at all.

It felt late, my sense of time was still all off from our honeymoon, so I was surprised when I glanced at my watch and saw it was late. I had just grabbed my phone when Ashley walked in.

“Sorry, I forgot to tell you. They canceled the meeting and pushed everything until tomorrow. I think if we are concise we’ll still manage to get it all in.”

This was not good news. Hiccups were never good news. “Any particular reason? Should we be worried?”

She shook her head, her long red waves dancing back and forth. “No, just something came up that required their attention. It has nothing to do with us. But…”

I raised an eyebrow. I really didn’t like where this was going now. “But?”

“It is a perfect opportunity for you and me to finalize everything.”

Alarm bells went off in my head. There was no reason to “finalize” anything. Besides, I had an entire company that could use my attention. “I don’t think so.”

She leaned against the conference table and rolled her eyes. “Despite what your wife thinks, I don’t actually bite.”

“That would be Greg. Greg thinks you bite. Eve just thinks you shoot lasers out of your eyes.”

She chuckled and looked down at her hands. “I understand all of this is bad timing, but it has been nice to see you again, Jake. I really do miss our friendship.”

It was times like this I simply couldn’t tell what Ashley was really saying. I honestly thought she was being real. But according to Greg and Eve, she was one big act. Was this real or an act?

Why couldn’t I tell the difference?

Having that doubt was something I hated feeling. It brought up old and very deep-seated issues about trusting myself. “People change and move on. It’s life, Ash.”

She looked me in the eye. “I still can’t believe you are signing away your rights. Does she hate me that much?”

That floored me. “It wasn’t her choice. It was mine.”

“All these years… she must really be something special. I don’t think I believed you until now. I always thought she was either a figment of your imagination or you were so in love you didn’t see her for who she was.”

I hated every single thing Ashley had just said. It was a serious reaction. Anger immediately boiled up inside me. Ashley could say whatever she wanted to about me, or even Greg, but Eve was off-limits. “Then you must not have ever really known me.”

She blinked and a look of complete surprise washed over her face. “Maybe. But I like to think I know you in a way no one else ever will.”

That stung as much as the other things she’d said. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Why do you think you and I worked?” she asked, standing up and glaring at me. “I’m the only one in your life who really understands your dark places because I have the same ones. Greg doesn’t understand your doubts and Eve doesn’t understand your darkness. Not like I do. I understand you. And if you think you are better off with Greg and Eve than you are with me, then fine. But just keep in mind—they don’t know you like I do.”

“You must have a nice fantasy life because I sure as hell don’t remember our relationship the same way you do.”

She took another step toward me. I didn’t like that she was standing while I was sitting. The power dynamic felt all wrong. “When you doubt yourself, you get jumpy because you’re looking for the closest exit. When you do something wrong, you beat yourself up inside just as bad as your dad would beat you up on the outside. And when you’re alone, you know you are never going to be good enough for anyone else.”

I didn’t reply to her. Not right away. If I had, I would have said a lot of really terrible things. Things I never would have forgiven myself for. So instead, I stood up slowly, adjusted my tie, and took a deep breath before looking Ashley in the eyes.

“You are right about every single one of those things.” I hated that she was right. “But that doesn’t mean you know me. I am so much more than what that man trained me to be. And I’ll be damned if I let you or anyone else tell me I have to stay that way.”

She studied me for a minute and it took all of my self-restraint to keep from throwing her out of the conference room by her hair. “You should be with someone who understands you, not someone who will get your hopes up and watch you fall when you can’t live up to her expectations. You are setting yourself up for misery, Jake.”

“I think we’re done here.”

She chuckled a little, “You’ll know where to find me when she crushes you under her boot. I’ll be waiting, Jake.”

“That will be a cold day in hell.”

She shrugged her shoulders and then stalked out of the room.

* * *

When I got home, my bedroom was empty. Hell, my whole house was empty. And even worse… Eve wasn’t answering her phone. I was in full panic mode. She should have been home at least an hour ago.

I’d done it all: flowers, dinner, wine, and a new movie.

But my guest of honor was missing and I was in a dark, confusing place.

As much as I hated to admit it, Ashley had done a number on me. She’d hit every button and played on every insecurity I had. I needed to screw my head back on straight.

I needed Eve.

“Jake?” her voice rang through the empty house.

“In here,” I called.

I’d given myself quite the lecture. I was going to give her time to explain why she was late. I was going to be understanding.

“You’re home early… and sitting in the dark with a drink? What happened?”

She set her bag down on the counter and peeled off her blazer. It was funny how simple her outfit looked this morning, but now it seemed sexy. Damn sexy. Her top was unbuttoned to her breasts. Her perfect breasts. My sun necklace only drew my attention to them even more. Her pants clung to her curves accentuating her amazingly sexy body.

Why did she have to look so hot in everything she wore?

“How long have you been sitting here?”

I glanced down at my watch, “An hour. You didn’t answer your phone.”

Her eyes widened some more and she flipped her bag open, “I’ve had it on silent since my meeting started. I’m so sorry.”

“You didn’t answer your office phone either.”

She set her phone quietly on the counter and spun toward me. “Jake, stop. Whatever you’re thinking… just stop.”

“Eve, you always answer your phone. Always. What happened tonight?” I desperately wanted her to have a simple and easy explanation that would make all of these ridiculous worries in my male pea-brain go away.

She put her balled up fists on her hips and glared at me. “Please, tell me how your day with Miss Sweet and Delicate went.”

“This is not about me, Eve. I came home to an empty house.” She was not turning the tables on me.

“Then why aren’t you answering me? Just because you came home on time doesn’t mean nothing happened during your day.”

“I have nothing to hide. Unlike you, who seem to be hell bent on keeping your missing hours a fucking secret!”

For a split second I saw fire in her eyes. “You have lost your mind!”

She spun on her heel and stomped out of the room, but there was no way I was letting her out of there while we were still talking. “Eve, get back in here. We are not done.”

“Fuck off!” she yelled, stomping down the hallway.

“Hell no. You are my wife and we having this discussion whether you like it or not.”

She slammed the library door in my face and turned the lock before I could get my hand on the handle. It didn’t stop me from trying anyway. I was too pissed to be calm and reasonable. I jiggled the handle and beat my fist against the door. “Eve, open the damn door.”

“Fuck. Off.” she yelled back and I heard the squeaky sound of her throwing herself on the leather couch.

I hit the door again and then rested my forehead against the cool surface. I absolutely hated having a barrier of any kind between us. It felt physically wrong on a good day, but when we were fighting I wanted to incinerate anything that kept me from her.

The fact she wouldn’t tell me what she was doing kept running through my head on a loop. “Eve, I’m serious. We need to talk.”

“And I need to calm down. Go away, Jake.”

Calm down? Calm down? What in the hell did she have to calm down from? She was the one who stayed late at work and didn’t answer her phone. “If you don’t open this door I will go full-on Rhett Butler. I will kick this door in and carry you up the stairs kicking and screaming.” I’d been forced to watch that movie with Eve more times than I could count.

The lock clicked and the door opened. “You are such a bastard sometimes.”

I let her walk back across the room while my anger boiled. “I may be a bastard, but I love you. There is nothing scarier than the idea of losing you. Maybe I’m an asshole and I’m overreacting, but I’m your asshole. I will overreact any time I damn well please when it comes to you.”

Her arms were crossed and there was a scowl on her face, but the corners of her lips turned up just a little. “Where is this coming from?”

I suddenly realized I’d picked a fight with my wife on purpose. I was completely rattled by Ashley. “Ashley was weird today.”

Eve flushed a little. Her blood pressure must have just skyrocketed up to my level. “Weird how?”

“Apparently she thinks she knows me better than anyone else ever has or ever could.”

Eve shot up off the couch, marched right past me, and out of the library. “Where are you going?” I asked as she grabbed her keys from the bowl by the door.

“I’m gonna kill her!”

Eve was hot when she was mad. “Don’t leave. You don’t need to kill her.”

She reached for the door handle just as I rushed forward and wrapped my arm around her waist, pulling her body back against mine. The contact mixed with her scent set my senses on fire.

“Let me go! I need to kick the crap out of her delicate ass!”

“No,” I whispered against the sensitive part of her ear. “Don’t leave me. I need you right now.”

“Fuck,” she sighed, relaxing back against me.

I took the keys from her hands and tossed them at the table (missing completely, I might add) while she pushed the door shut and locked it, keeping her palms flattened against the smooth surface.

“I want to rip out her throat.”

I smiled against the skin of her neck and flexed my fingers into the soft flesh of her hips. “And that makes me love you even more.”

She leaned forward, letting her head move down between her shoulders and her ass press against my quickly hardening cock.

When she spoke it was a whisper. I had absolutely no idea I was feeling so tested until that moment. “Does she?” I knew exactly what Eve meant, but I was too overwhelmed to respond. “Does she know a part of you I can’t?”

I spun Eve to face me, pressing her back into the door as I moved against her with my hands and elbows flattened against the door beside her head and my body pressed flush against her.

“There are two people who know all my weaknesses and vulnerabilities, Eve. And both of them use it to their own advantage. Ashley knows how to exploit me, Eve. She’s more screwed up than I was. Maybe she still is.” I felt so raw. I’d been wrong about so many things.

There was one thing that mattered to me, and I was staring into her beautiful eyes. “You are my life.” I kissed her gently on the lips. “After today, I hate Ashley almost as much as I hate my father. I didn’t realize that until she tried to convince me I was better off being the man I used to be. She has no idea, Eve. She doesn’t me at all. You do. You know me and everything I want to become. That difference is everything.”

The two of us became something else entirely at that point. We were ruled by emotions and driven by desperation. Eve unbuttoned her own blouse, popping a couple of buttons along the way, while I unbelted her pants and pushed them down toward her ankles. A minute later I had her pressed up against the front door while I buried myself inside her.

I grunted while Eve moaned, pulling hard on my hair as I nailed her to the door with her legs wrapped around my waist. “Oh god, Jake. Harder…” she moaned. It was like she wanted me to brand her. As if how hard I was pumping into her was somehow comparable to how much need I had for her.

“Harder…” she moaned again.

The door wasn’t going to cut it. I couldn’t get the kind of leverage we needed. I spun us around and lowered her back onto the rug, driving deeper inside her. Her head fell back and her eyes rolled into her head. We both seemed to like the new angle.

I placed my elbows above her shoulders to keep from driving her across the floor and giving her rug burn. Eve pressed her heels into my bare ass, begging me to continue.

By the time she was screaming my name, her hair was a mess and I was sweaty and breathless. I collapsed on top of her, our muscles twitching and my cock spasming inside her while her body continued to randomly pulse around mine. These emotion-fueled sessions were more intense and exhausting than anything I’d ever done.

She was panting and her eyes were closed as I kissed up and down her neck. “I love you Eve.”

She ruffled my hair and smiled with her eyes still closed. “Tell me she ever loved you like I do.”

It was what I’d said to her about Sebastian. “No Eve. No one will ever love me like you.”

29

EVE

It was well after midnight. The moonlight was streaming in through the open blinds and bathing our bedroom in a blue-white glow. It threw long shadows across the floor and bed, and cast Jake’s sleeping face in darkness. His bare chest and arms were exposed but the red blanket covered the rest of his body.

Maybe he was sexy as hell, or maybe it was just because he was Jake and I was Eve, but I loved his body. I always had. Young and lean Jake was every bit as handsome and sexy to me as grown-up and strong Jake. I loved running my hands over the hard lines of his muscles and feeling the deceptive softness of his skin beneath my fingers.

When I couldn’t sleep, I always sat up and studied him. Like everything else concerning my husband, he was an example of extremes. He was either twisted and tortured as nightmares I couldn’t imagine ruined his sleep, or more peaceful and relaxed than I’d ever seen him.

He didn’t know it, but if I saw him having a nightmare I always woke him up. Sometimes I would pretend it was me, that I had just woken up from a nightmare and needed him to hold me. Other times I would simply nestle into the side of him and gently shake him until the nightmare subsided.

Tonight, miraculously, he was peaceful. So I was watching him sleep, wishing I felt even half as relaxed as he did.

I was frustrated.

No, fuck that. I was pissed. I had a barely contained anger burning inside me and I wasn’t sure what to do with it. There was what I wanted to do, and what I knew I should do.

Jake wanted me to let the Ashley incident go, suffer through Monday, and let her ride off into the sunset—hopefully to never be heard from again.

But it didn’t feel like enough. What Jake described to me tonight was unacceptable. One screwed up abuser in his life was too many, but two…

I didn’t just want Ashley to leave, I wanted to destroy her.

And so there I was, sitting up in the middle of the night trying to make sense of my feelings. I thought about calling Jennie. I knew she’d talk to me, but I was too afraid she’d talk me down off the crazy ledge.

I liked it on the crazy ledge and I had no intentions of quietly climbing back down.

I’d hoped my initial threat would have worked, but clearly Miss Sweet and Delicate either didn’t see me as a truly terrifying threat, or I was barking up the wrong tree.

I had a very good feeling I needed a new tree. I needed to find what made her tick and hit her where it hurt.

I unplugged my phone from the nightstand and slid out of our room. Inside my library I cuddled up on the couch and texted Greg.

A minute later my phone rang.

“Did I wake you?”

Greg snorted, “Do I sound asleep?”

No, actually he sounded wide awake. “Thanks for calling.”

“No problem. Why are you awake?”

“I need to know more about Pita. I need to know what makes her tick.”

“He told you my nickname? Do you like it?” he sounded like a giddy kid sharing a new secret.

“It’s perfect. I’m a little sad I didn’t think of it myself, actually. It’s so much more concise than mine.”

“But, yours is very accurate.”

We were both quiet for a minute. “I tried, Greg. I really did.”

“You tried harder than you needed to, in my opinion. What did she do?”

I debated how much to divulge. On the one hand, Greg was Jake’s best friend. They told each other most things and I certainly didn’t feel the need to keep things from him. But on the other hand, this was very personal and I wasn’t sure Greg needed to know the particulars. I decided to play things close to the vest. Less information was usually better in my experience. “I gave her a line and she crossed it today.”

There was grumble on the other end of the line. “That explains my afternoon. She was hell on wheels and Jake barely said two words when he left.”

“I want to hurt her.”

“I don’t blame you.” his voice was eerily low. I got the impression Greg was almost as mad as I was. I wondered if Jake knew how much he was loved—really loved—by the people in his life.

“And I need to make sure she gets the message loud and clear this time. There is no place for her here.”

“Fuck yeah. Well, let me tell you what I know…”

Greg and I talked for the next thirty minutes. He clued me in on everything he knew about Ashley from the professional end: who her mentors were, where she attended school, what her plans were for the future.

One thing was clear. Ashley was more like Jake Sr. than I ever realized. Her red-headed beautiful exterior was window dressing on a monstrosity hiding inside. She was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. She was evil.

And like all evil people, she thought she was in control. She thought she was playing her part perfectly, pulling the strings and watching the puppets dance.

She didn’t know she was playing with fire.

I thought Ashley knew Jake in a way I couldn’t.

I was wrong.

I did know that side of Jake, I just knew it from a completely different side. Ashley knew it from the side of controller.

I knew it from Jake’s side.

She only thought she knew him. And Jake only wished I didn’t know that part of him.

But I did.

I always knew that part of him. It was one of the most beautiful gifts of being in love with your soul mate: I didn’t need to know every sordid detail, I didn’t need to have lived the same life, or experienced the same pain. All I needed was to know Jake.

And I knew him better than anyone else.

I knew who Jake was the night we met. I looked into those expressive green eyes of his and saw all of him. The man I saw that night was the same man sleeping in our bed with my wedding ring on his finger. His heart and mine were the same. I felt his pain and doubt just as strongly as I felt my own.

I knew exactly how to deal with the demons in Jake’s life. Ashley had made a grave mistake in assuming I wouldn’t understand. The truth was, I understood her all too well.

I was going to annihilate her.

“Greg, I need your help.”

30

JAKE

The moment I stepped foot into the office I knew something was wrong. There was a weird vibration to the air and Lisa didn’t meet my eyes, let alone smile.

“Good morning, Jake.”

“Morning, Lisa. What gives?”

She smiled tightly, but still didn’t quite look at me. “Greg is in a closed door meeting with Ashley.”

My eyebrows shot up, “Already? Is something wrong?”

She shrugged her shoulders slowly, “I’m not sure, but Greg was in one of his moods this morning.”

“Good mood or bad mood?”

“We called him Hurricane Greg.”

Bad mood. Really bad mood. “How long have they been in there?”

She fiddled with the papers beside her keyboard before answering, “About thirty minutes. And…”

“And?” I asked expectantly.

“And he said to have you wait in your office.”

I stalked right past her reception desk on a collision course with Greg’s office door.

“Jake! No, he really doesn’t want you in there!”

I ignored her, of course, and shoved the door open. Greg was leaned back in his chair with a devilish grin on his face and Ashley was sitting across from him with a completely blank expression on hers. “What’s up guys? I’m sorry I’m late.”

“Shut the fucking door if you insist on barging in.”

I slammed the door shut and stood where I was with my arms crossed over my chest.

Ashley swung her gaze over to me and that was when I realized her blank look was deceiving. Her eyes were blazing. She was pissed.

“The deal with Steele Industries is falling through,” Greg explained.

Whoa… Of all the things I expected to walk into, that wasn’t it. “What happened? Why now?”

“Sugar Plum Fairy here made them jittery when she canceled the meeting yesterday.”

“You? You canceled the meeting? You told me it was them.”

The color drained from her face a little but she stayed silent. Greg continued, “They pulled the offer for Ashley to come work with them. They want to buy-out both of you outright, or they are walking.”

You could have heard a pin drop in that office. “And you don’t want to sell your stake, still.” It was a statement. I knew the answer.

“If you changed your mind, I’m sure they’d reconsider. I made a stupid mistake letting my own issues get in the way of business, but at the end of the day, Steele wants our design and they want both of us on their team. I’m sure if you reconsider, we can still make this happen.”

Ashley looked so stupidly earnest and Greg was grinning like a fool. He knew my answer was no. She should know my answer was no.

“Ash, I’m a partner in this firm. I have no interest in going to work for someone else, no matter what kind of innovative work they are doing. I like my life here. This is what I want.”

She smiled up at me wanely. “I know, but it was worth a shot. Is there anything I can do to sway you? We make a great team. Who knows what we might invent next?”

“I don’t care. I like my work, but I love my life. I love my wife.” I want to have a family and watch my kids grow up.

The thought hit me like a lightning bolt from the sky. It was a revelation at the oddest of times, but even as the idea surged through my veins, I knew without a shadow of a doubt it was what I wanted.

She stood up and smoothed her skirt before tossing her red hair back over her shoulder. “Well, then it seems I have some thinking to do. And some phone calls to make.”

The moment she was gone, I pushed the door closed again and took the chair she’d just vacated across from Greg. “What really happened?”

Greg’s face didn’t give anything away. He was a master poker player and his skills extended well beyond the game. “I have no idea what you are talking about. I was just as surprised as both of you when the phone call came in this morning.”

“You had nothing to do with this?”

“Do with what?” he asked with a silly grin, floating his hands through the air like birds wings.

I shook my head and rolled my eyes. Greg may not have been the reason Steele pulled the offer at the last minute, but he sure helped push. I might not be able to read his poker face, but I knew the look of mischief and pride. Greg had both right now.

“Hopefully she finds another deal fast. I don’t want her sticking around any longer.”

“She won’t find one she likes,” he smirked.

“What do you mean? What did you do?”

“She’s just getting what was coming to her. She had the upper hand on a fantastic opportunity and she blew it because she was greedy. She wanted more. The money and the job offer weren’t enough—she wanted you, too. All I’ve done is answer some questions in a brutally honest way. It isn’t my fault Steele took that as a sign Ashley might not be the employee they were looking for. It is also not my fault I passed that same information along to quite a few of my contacts.”

I knew I should care that a huge deal just went bust along with a helluva a lot of money, but I didn’t. Ashley would either find another deal, or she’d cave and sell just like me. It would work itself out. “I’m not sure how I feel about that.”

“Let me know when you decide.”

* * *

“I’ve been blackballed.” Ashley hissed as she stepped into my office.

“Please, come in.” I said dryly. I’d expected her to show up at some point, not that I was looking forward to it. I wanted her to pack up all of her things and disappear.

“The only companies interested in the proposal are out west or out of the country.”

“And that displeases you?” Of course it displeased her. She wanted the cushy job at Steele. A job that would have at least kept her in the same circles with me.

“I wasn’t planning to move to San Diego, but I guess I’ll see what happens.”

“You could always sell. It should be enough to get you out of whatever situation you’re in.”

She looked me up and down, “It would, but then what? I’m looking for a long term solution, not another Band-Aid. You know this isn’t going to end for me. Besides, I’d go mad sitting on my thumbs without a job. Unlike you… what happened to you Jake? She made you soft.”

“No,” I replied calmly. “She gave me a life. It’s something you may want to try, actually.”

“Work is my life. It used to be yours. You have so much potential and you’re just wasting it here.”

I sat back in my chair and studied her. She made me sad, there was so little to her life other than work and getting to the next prize. “I guess it depends on how you define potential. But you’re right, I do have a lot of it. The projects we take on here are important and they matter to the people here in our community. And I have a helluva a lot of other potential in my life.”

“You’ve got adoring husband covered.”

“Thank you.”

She smirked, “You really don’t care what happens, do you?”

I shook my head. “Not in the slightest. The past is in the past and my life isn’t about work, Ash. I keep telling you that.”

She stood back up and moved toward my office door. “I understand, I just never thought you’d throw me under the bus.” And with that dramatic statement, she left.

31

EVE

I was just finishing up my day: shutting down my computer, making sure my files were straight, and reviewing my calendar for next week when my intercom buzzed.

“Yes?”

“We have an Ashley Grove here at the front. She isn’t on your list. Should we let her in?”

I stopped dead in my tracks. “Team Blackball” (also known as Greg and Andrew) had worked fast, but I was still surprised Ashley had figured it out so quickly. “Yes, I’ll be right up.”

My adrenaline started pumping, surging through my veins and pounding in my temples. Greg said everything went perfectly on his end, and Andrew had gotten me the documents in record time. My entire plan was coming together exactly the way I wanted it to, but a little flicker of doubt kept flaring to life.

I was doing all of this behind Jake’s back. Jake, who liked to be in control. I was essentially lying to my husband. While my plan felt so right, lying to Jake felt so wrong.

The offices were thinning out quickly, everyone eager to get to their weekend plans, so the halls were quiet as I made my way up front.

John, the security guard, was standing beside Ashley who was wearing a fresh visitor badge. She smiled tightly, “Thank you for seeing me.”

“Of course. John, we’ll be a few minutes in my office.”

I waved for her to follow me. The walk back to my office was eerily quiet. I could feel her eyes watching me, studying my every move.

“Please, take a seat,” I said as I closed the door.

She ignored me and stayed on her feet. “You’ve had me blackballed?”

I stopped only a couple of feet away from her and leaned in so I could speak as infuriatingly calmly as I wanted. “I told you not to cross my line. I warned you as plainly as I could what the consequences would be.”

Her green eyes were on fire with an unchecked rage. The mask of Miss Sweet and Delicate was gone.

“You are insane, you know that? Who acts like this?”

I smiled at her sweetly, trying desperately to keep my own boiling anger from rising to the surface. “I do. My threats are never empty.”

Her eyebrows shot up with surprise, “So, you are admitting to being insane? That’s a new one.”

I made my way around my desk.

Standing with the window at my back, I took a deep breath and explained as simply as I could. “Ashley, I told you then and I’ll tell you again now… I protect the ones I love. That means doing whatever is necessary to keep them safe. I’d move heaven and earth for that man. If you want to call that insanity, then I’d love to be crazy.”

“A simple conversation between Jake and I lead you to behave like this?” She sounded like she really thought I was crazy. Maybe I was. But I didn’t know any other way to love Jake.

“Your simple conversation was actually very eye-opening for me. You showed your hand and I learned exactly who you are.” I picked up the giant envelope sitting on my desk and tossed it at her like a Frisbee.

She caught it between her palms, her head jerking back and away. “What is this?” she asked, looking at it with disdain.

“You are done with Jake. You will sell The Nugget to the highest bidder and find a job somewhere other than the States. You will keep your phone calls and emails to business only until the deal closes, and then poof,” I popped open all my fingers and swirled my hands in circle, “You will disappear.”

“You can’t defame and blackball me.”

“I’m not doing anything illegal… yet. For some reason, every company on the Eastern seaboard called Greg last night wanting job references for you. I can’t help that he told them what you were like to your partners and coworkers. I can’t help that he told them how you blew off an incredibly important business meeting to manipulate a former lover. None of that has anything to do with me.”

She gazed at me through her lashes, one eyebrow arched as if she were bored with watching the crazy lady. “You think scaring off my job prospects will be enough to keep me from doing what I want?”

I finally sat down in my chair and leaned back, my eyes fixed squarely on hers the entire time. “I know that isn’t enough for someone like you. People like you don’t mind watching from the sidelines and waiting for a moment of weakness. Trust me; I know exactly how people like you work, Ashley. Open the envelope.”

She flipped open the flap and pulled out the stack of papers and photographs. She blushed from her forehead to the first button of her blouse. She riffled through page after page and I waited, giving her several moments to absorb what she was looking at, to panic. “Did Jake tell you about this?”

“No. He’s a good guy. He doesn’t tell secrets.”

She stared at the documents and photographs in her hands. Ashley was clearly in shock and I should have felt like a horrible person, but somehow, I couldn’t muster the energy. “You are the one who kept insisting that you were the only one who could know Jake’s dark side. All I had to do was find out what your dark side was.”

Unfortunately for me, Jake was right. Now that I knew Ashley had killed her own father to stop him from killing her mother, who then went and killed herself in front of Ashley anyway… I couldn’t unsee the news articles and pictures Andrew had dug up. In a perfect world, I would have been much happier not knowing the details of Ashley’s past.

But she hadn’t taken no for an answer. She’d kept pushing the limits on a happily married man. I needed to know what I was working with if I was going to properly protect my marriage. I was trying very hard to not second-guess my decision.

Ashley finally looked up. Her hands were clenched around the papers and I could feel the hate. “What is it you want exactly? To ruin my life?”

“I don’t want to ruin you, Ashley.” I meant that. I may have gone lower than I’d ever gone in my life and just done something I may very well regret, but I didn’t want to ruin another woman. “I just want us all to be on the same page. You seem to think you know Jake and me better than we know ourselves. And now, I know you, too. All the cards are on the table—no more secrets, no more lies.” I leaned forward, “So this time, when I tell you to leave Jake alone, you really hear me.”

She stared at me for a long time with those papers in her hands. Digging up Ashley’s past, finding out all her dark secrets, and why she was so screwed up, had been a calculated risk.

“And if I’m a good girl this all stays between us?”

I nodded slowly. “You stay away from Jake and I won’t breathe a word to anyone. But if I find out that one email or phone call was initiated by you without coming to me first, I will take that as your permission to take the gloves off.” I smiled sweetly, “Fuck with my family again and you’ll see what I can really do.”

Ashley jammed the papers in the envelope and threw it back at me. “Fine. You have a deal.” She was to the door before I could even stand up. “You won’t hear from me again.”

I was a strange mix of excited and miserable as I walked Ashley out of the building. I had her out of Jake’s life, which was the most important thing to me, but I’d gone so low to do it.

I’d never thought of myself as someone who could so easily hurt someone else. This was going to take some time to get over.

I texted Greg as soon as I was back in my office, letting him know the final phase of my plan had been successful, then called my husband.

As the phone rang I felt giddy. It was like a huge weight had just been lifted off of our lives. I could float home on a cloud of my own excitement and worry about the consequences later.

“Hey darlin’,” Jake’s familiar drawl made my already pounding heart skip a beat.

“I’m just about to head home. Need anything?”

The line was quiet for a minute and I heard rustling. “Actually, I just got home from the grocery store. I was wondering if you were up for a surprise getaway this weekend?”

“Ummmm… ya. A weekend away with you sounds just about right. You must be reading my mind.”

He chuckled, “You haven’t heard my plan yet.”

I didn’t care what his plan was. It involved him.

I opened my drawer and yanked out my purse, frantically glancing around to make sure I had everything I needed before I left. “What is your plan, oh wise one?”

“I traded Andrew for the weekend, I’m sorry I didn’t ask first.”

“I really wish you’d warn me before you traded me to another man!” I teased back.

He groaned. “Hardly. He and Jennie were thinking of fishing anyway, so they were happy to have your boat instead.”

“A weekend on the sailboat? Sounds… awesome.”

“Agreed. So, we are stocked with food and drink, now I just need your fine ass to pack a bikini and we are out of here.”

“I’m unlocking my car right now. Be home soon.”

“Love you, darlin’. Drive safe.”

“I will.” I assured him as I tossed my bag into the passenger seat and started the engine.

32

JAKE

Ten Weeks Later…

“Whatcha doing’ under there cowboy?” Eve sounded playful but all I could see were her feet. I was under the Beast, changing her oil.

“Game over?”

“We won.” She crouched down, bending her head so she could see me better.

“Congrats. You’re in the playoff’s then, right?”

“Yep.” She got down on the ground and rolled onto her back. “It’s been a long, long time since we’ve done this.”

“Gotten dirty under the Orange Beast together?”

She nodded, but the look in her eyes was off. Eve looked like she was deep in thought. She was looking at me, but she wasn’t looking at me. “Next month it’ll be a year since you proposed.”

That was a strange thing to bring up. “True. You thinking we need another vacation?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “Maybe. We haven’t really gotten away since our honeymoon. It might be nice to disappear for a few days… just you and me.”

I really didn’t like the sound of her voice. Something was bothering Eve. “Let me get out from under here and we can talk, ok?”

Eve smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I’ll see you inside.”

I quickly finished up and hurried in. Eve was sitting in her library reading in silence.

“What’s up?”

She set the book aside and held up a large packet. “We need to talk about a few things.”

I really, really didn’t like the sound of that. I settled down on the opposite end of the couch so we could face each other.

“This packet is the final contract from Everlight Technology. Ashley has already signed everything and is good to go. They just need your signatures.”

I took the packet. “Why did Greg give this to you?” There was absolutely no reason for Eve to be involved in any of this. The new deal with Everlight had come as a surprise about two weeks after the deal with Steele fell through. After another two months of walking through all the steps, everything was in place—including a new job for Ashley out in San Diego.

Eve took a deep breath and blew it out. “I haven’t been completely honest with you.”

You know that feeling of complete terror? How your skin feels hot and prickly a split second before your heart takes off racing and pounding in your ears? Yeah, that’s how I was feeling right then. “Ok…”

“Greg and I are the reason the deal fell through with Steele.”

And just like that my terror shifted straight over to rage. “You two did what?” I didn’t mean to yell, but it came out before I could stop it.

Eve flinched and looked down at her hands. “I’m so sorry we went behind your back and I’m even more sorry I haven’t been honest with you before now.”

I felt like the rug had been yanked out from underneath me and I was lying on my back looking up at a strange ceiling. “Why?”

Eve’s jaw flexed and her face flushed with anger. When she locked eyes with me I saw that hard determination I usually found incredibly arousing.

“She had to go.”

“That wasn’t your call.” Greg I could see setting all this up, but Eve?

“You weren’t getting rid of her. What was I supposed to do Jake? Sit around and watch her seduce you? Tear you down? Because that was what she was doing.”

Suddenly I understood Eve’s strange mood for the last couple of months. She’d been distant and unhappy. I thought it was just the lingering aftereffects of having Ashley in our lives. But now that I had all the information I realized it was much more than that.

“I can fight my own battles, Eve.”

She shot to her feet and stuck a finger in my face. “That! That right there. This is why I did it. This is our marriage she was messing with. Yours and mine. It wasn’t just your battle to fight and besides,” she knelt down in front of me, taking my hands and looking up into my eyes. “We’re a team. We fight together, Jake.”

“Together? If this were a team effort you would have told me what you did sometime in the last two months.”

She winced and looked down at her hands. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t tell you because I…”

“You what?” I sounded angry because I was angry. I was fucking pissed.

“I was ashamed of myself, alright?” Eve stood back up and returned to the couch across from me. “I didn’t know what else to do. She wasn’t leaving and she was being awful. But I worried I went too far.”

“So you didn’t tell me?”

“I tried to make things right.”

What did that mean? “Eve, I’m trying, really I am. But if you don’t explain I’m going to walk out of here and cool off.”

Her eyes went wide. “I had Greg find her a new deal. That was how Everlight came into the picture. He worked with Ashley to find her a situation that would work for whatever it was she needed. Everlight was ecstatic to get The Nugget and Ashley. Greg put in a great word for her.”

“So you just cut me out of the equation entirely? Thanks a lot, Eve.” I stood up. I couldn’t look at her. I knew she was trying to help and she’d done what she thought was right, but I couldn’t hear those things. All I could hear were the lies and the lack of trust. The lack of faith in me. And that hurt like hell. “I’m taking a walk.”

She didn’t fight me, which I was glad for. I really needed a chance to think things through. I walked out to the yacht club and watched the sailboats bobbing in the water. The sun was sinking into the horizon and turning the sky bright orange. It reminded me of the night I gave Eve my necklace and journal.

We’d lived so much since that night.

I stared blankly, letting the anger eat away at me. I didn’t want to think, but eventually the sun set and I was standing in the dark. The anger started to fade which made it was easier for me to sort through what I was feeling.

I hated that Eve kept something from me. Sure I was pissed she went behind my back, that felt weird, but ultimately I appreciated that she loved me enough to do what she thought was right. I’d eventually get over it.

But she lied to me. It just never occurred to me Eve could keep information like that from me.

I started walking back toward the house kicking every rock and branch that had the unfortunate luck of landing in my path. The lights were on in our bedroom and I could see Eve moving around inside. She was probably worried about me.

I’d been coming back to this house for so many years. We were basically still kids when she moved in. The parties and junk cars had been replaced by rising careers and renovations. It was a beautiful home and I wondered how it would change in another decade. Would there be bikes and balls lying forgotten in the grass after school? Drawings on the driveway and car seats in the car?

Ok, so I’d been keeping my own secrets from Eve. I hadn’t brought up the kid thing once. Every time I talked myself into it, I chickened back out. This was the one time I didn’t know how I would react to hearing “no”. So instead I avoided it.

Was this what our marriage had already devolved into? Keeping things from each other and being afraid of talking about how we feel?

That wasn’t what I wanted at all.

I marched into the house and up the stairs. Eve was standing in the middle of our bedroom with her jaw open. “Jake?”

“I want to have kids.”

Her eyebrows shot up. Eve was probably expecting a diatribe on how mad I was, not a declaration of starting a family. “Kids?” she asked.

“Kids,” I repeated. “Little ones that look like you and me, ideally. Or we can adopt if you prefer.” Actually, adopting sounded like a fantastic idea.

Her mouth was still hanging open.

“Kids?” she repeated.

I took a step toward her and took her hand. “I know I said I’d never surprise you again, but I didn’t know how else to say it.”

She closed her mouth but she still looked stunned. “Where is this coming from? Is this a new way to end a fight?”

I grinned. “Nope. We can still fight if you want to. As I recall we’re really good at makeup sex.”

Eve nodded with a glint of mischief in her eyes. “Yes we are. You’re not mad anymore?”

“Oh I’m good and pissed and we’ll talk our way through this mess later, but right now I need to lay my cards on the table, too.”

I took a deep breath. There was no reason to hold anything back; Eve wasn’t running in the opposite direction. “Having a family is incredibly important to me. I never had one, not really. I want to give a kid what I wish I had. I want to be what I never got.”

Her whole expression softened. “Oh.”

“Is that a good ‘oh’ or a bad ‘oh’?”

She put my hand on her hip and ran her free hand along my jaw. Our bodies connected for the first time all day. “A good ‘oh’. I had no idea this was on your mind.”

“What do you think?” I was holding my breath. I honestly had no idea where Eve stood on the whole idea of kids. She had two sisters so I always assumed she’d want a family, too. But maybe she didn’t. Maybe that was the last thing she wanted…

She put both hands on my face and pulled me down for a soft kiss, then looked up into my eyes. “Having kids scares the crap out of me. But my sister did it and Josh has Rosie and lived to tell the tale…”

“You are killing me Eve. What do you think?” I dipped down so we were on the same level.

She smiled and shrugged. “Kids mean a lot to you, huh?”

“I love you, Eve. I love you so much and that will never, ever change. If you say no, then sure, I’ll be disappointed, but we’ll move on. We always do. But yes, having a family of my own means a lot to me. I can’t think of better way to erase my past than to make a future with a family I love.”

She kissed me again and looked into my eyes. “Then I’m not so scared anymore.”

I stood straight up. “Are you saying yes?”

She nodded slowly and tentatively. “Yes. I want to have a family with you, Jake.”

I pulled her up into my arms and hugged the crap out of her. Then I took her to our bed.

“Jake! You silly man! I’m on birth control. I can’t get pregnant now!”

“It’s practice!” I laughed, kissing her.

“Practice, huh?”

I sat up, pulling her shirt over her head and unbuttoning her jeans. “Yep. We need lots and lots of practice.”

She was as beautiful as ever. Not because she was sexy and amazing, but because I loved her and she loved me. I touched her skin, feeling the electric charge that always shot up my arm when we connected. What we had was unique.

“Jake,” she whispered.

“Yes, darlin’?”

“I love you.”

And that was the beginning and the end of everything.

WHEN LIGHTNING STRIKES

WHEN LIGHTNING STRIKES

by Alexis Anne

http://alexisannebooks.com/

Copyright 2015 by Alexis Sykes

All rights reserved.

Cover art by Alexis Anne.

This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without expressed written permission from the author. All characters and events appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real events or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

To Mark-

The original drinker of Knob,

best friend, marriage fixer, pants kicker,

and all around inspiration for Greg.

We couldn’t ask for a better friend!

1

I needed my fucking coffee like I needed air to breathe. If one more person stopped me from getting my cup I was going to put my fist through their face.

“Greg!” The familiar shout stopped me in my tracks.

“What?” I clenched my fist at my side and counted to ten. As much as I wanted to punch Stephen, it was probably bad form to hit a cop—friend or not.

“Damn. Chill out. I was just going to tell you that you left your window down.” Stephen was leaning out the side of his police car which was stopped only a couple of feet away from me.

I glanced up at the sky. Rain was moving in, but it wasn’t here yet. I’d be in and out of the coffee shop in a minute. “Thanks. I think I’ll take my chances.”

Stephen looked at me like I was crazy. “Suit yourself. Have a nice afternoon.” And with a wave he was gone.

I shook my head at the red Porsche I’d over-indulged in when I moved back to the States to start my company with my best friend, Jake Spencer. The car had been my baby for the first year, then the newness started to wear off and now I was itching for a different toy.

But moving and starting a company with my best friend? Best decision ever. Spencer, Hamilton, and Associates was quickly becoming one of the most innovative and unique engineering firms in the country. With Jake’s brain and my leadership, we were unstoppable.

Thunder rolled and bounced off the tall buildings of downtown Tampa. The stupid car was the one thing I let myself waste money on, so I didn’t usually feel guilty about it, but at the moment I was feeling like an ungrateful asshole. I jogged back over and took the extra thirty seconds to roll my window up.

By the time I finally pushed inside the coffee shop I was in a truly foul mood.

“Your usual?” The young girl behind the counter asked with a smile.

“Yep.” I glanced at her nametag. Lisa.

She shook her head as she grabbed a cup off the top of the pile. “Bad day?”

I must’ve been frowning or some shit like that. “Yep.”

“So two cookies instead of one?”

“Yep.”

I tossed the cash down on the counter and glanced around the mostly empty shop. I stopped in every afternoon on my way home from the office. It was a weird holdover habit from my childhood, but it was something I looked forward to every day: a coffee and a chocolate chip cookie every afternoon at four o’clock.

Usually there were a few stragglers like me, looking for an afternoon caffeine fix and maybe to satisfy a sugar craving. But today the shop was dead as a doornail except for the girl who always sat in the corner with her textbooks spread across the table and her nose stuck in a book she was entirely too young to be reading (and probably not part of her homework).

“Here you go.”

I glanced back as Lisa placed my coffee on the counter beside my cookies. “What’s she reading today?”

Lisa glanced over at the girl and smiled. “I believe she was talking about The Stranger, whatever that is.”

I grunted and took a sip of the ridiculously hot liquid. “A depressing book a girl her age shouldn’t have even heard of, let alone be reading. Where is her mother, anyway?” I never saw her there. It was always the girl and whoever was working at the shop. I knew she didn’t belong to Lisa—or the owner of the coffee shop—because I’d asked.

“Miss Bancroft works until five.”

I knew that curt answer was meant to stop my questions. And really, why did I care? The kid wasn’t mine.

But she reminded me so much of Jennifer.

Jenn always had a book in her hands, no matter where we went or what we did. She even kept a stack in our tree house. When we got older and started dating, as everyone expected, she started keeping some at my house and in my car.

A dull ache formed in my chest, and I started to massage it.

“Are you okay?” Lisa was staring at me wide-eyed and I realized she probably thought I was having a damn heart attack instead of a bad case of regret and nostalgia.

“Yeah. Heartburn.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure a cup of café con leche and chocolate chip cookies are not going to help that.”

“I’ll take an antacid when I get home.” Remembering Jenn always hurt. And it always would. “Have a good afternoon, Lisa.”

“You, too.”

I wandered over by the girl and found that she was stretched out across the chairs clutching a paperback of The Stranger. “Aren’t you a little young for existentialism?”

“Aren’t you a little old for afternoon cookies?” she replied without looking away from her book. She had strawberry blonde hair, light hazel eyes, and a smartass smile. I liked the kid. She had attitude and the smarts to back it up.

“Don’t tell me you’re debating the absurd and the meaninglessness of existence before you’ve even hit adulthood.” I still didn’t fully understand the concepts in that book, and I was thirty-five.

She rolled her eyes and set the book down. “Quite the opposite actually.”

“Why don’t you read something fun for a change? You always pick such dark books.” Last week it had been Of Mice and Men and As I Lay Dying. Both still gave me the heebie jeebies and I hadn’t read them since high school.

“Actually, after this I’m re-reading it in the original French, and then doing a translation project for school with Notre-Dame de Paris, as well.”

“Meaninglessness and destiny in the same week? In a second language? I’m gonna buy you some Boxcar Children to read.”

“You know I’m not eight, right?” she grinned. “Maybe I should buy some large print books for your poor eyesight, old man.”

“Whatever.” I tossed the second cookie on the table. “Act like a kid for a change.” And she did. She squealed and grabbed up the cookie, popping the first bite in her mouth before I’d even made it to the door.

“Have a nice night, old man!”

I chuckled and ducked outside just as the rain hit.

2

“Marie, baby…” Brandon cooed.

“I swear if you make me fly to Paris…” I threatened into my phone as my blood pressure spiked. Spring break started in three days and he was changing our plans at the last minute—as usual.

Brandon replied with his typical laugh. “Babydoll, we can meet half way. London?”

“How the hell is London half way?” I shrieked. The cocky son of a bitch was my least favorite person on the planet, and unfortunately, the one person I would never be rid of. Brandon was arrogant, self-absorbed, and lived to antagonize me. He was also the father of my daughter.

“New York then? I’ll cross the pond this time, Ree.”

Like nails on a chalkboard—that was what I heard every time Brandon attempted to be nice and use his old nickname for me instead of my full name. Marie was not a long name, but somehow Brandon had found a way to shorten it.

“Fine. New York. Natalie will be thrilled. Can you take her to the library again? She hasn’t stopped talking about it.”

“Absolutely. Whatever my baby wants, my baby gets. You know that.” Despite being the world’s worst boyfriend, Brandon was a fairly decent dad. He always dropped everything for Natalie.

“Excellent. Forward me your itinerary and we’ll plan accordingly.”

“See you soon, ReeRee,” he replied as he ended the call.

I wanted to gag. I would love the opportunity to go back and give my seventeen-year-old self a good lecture on reproduction and birth control, but then it would mean I wouldn’t have Natalie. I loved her to pieces even though her mere existence meant my life was tied to Brandon’s for the rest of time.

I always comforted myself with the knowledge she was conceived out of love. I loved Brandon in the way any rebellious seventeen-year-old loves the perfect seventeen-year-old bad boy that pisses her father off. He was the perfect man for me at the time, but it quickly became clear that Brandon was the last person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. We made a lot of decisions during my pregnancy, including the agreement we drew up and signed before Natalie was born. We were partners in the loving and raising of our daughter with clearly defined roles and expectations.

We were also clearly the over-educated children of successful businessmen. Because I mean, really? Who draws up contracts for raising their illegitimate daughter at seventeen? Brandon and me. We were hands-down the most unique family I’d ever encountered, but it worked for all of us even if I sometimes fantasized about setting Brandon’s pants on fire.

I stared at my daughter’s picture to calm myself down. It was my typical habit after talking with Brandon: stare at my daughter and remind myself of all the reasons I was nice to Brandon.

My phone chirped and I flipped it back over in time to see a message from Natalie flash across the screen. Ready when you are.

With a sigh I grabbed my bag and sweater. “Have a good night, Joan.”

My assistant glanced up from the novel she was reading. “You, too. Say hi to Natalie for me.”

“Will do,” I replied as I pushed out into the muggy Florida afternoon. There was no way I’d be able to spend the whole week in New York with Natalie and Brandon, which meant I’d be doing a lot of flying. But work was work. I led the southern branch of my family’s company: Bancroft Sports. We had dozens of major athletes under contract with our agency, and hundreds of minor athletes. Florida was a logical choice with the insane number and variety of sports franchises and camps throughout the state. Tampa put me in a nice central location…and near the beaches.

Not to mention the thousands of miles it put between my father and me.

Natalie was waiting at the curb when I pulled up. Her bright blue backpack was slung over her shoulder and her uniform was almost perfectly in place. Only the white shirt was untucked. There were no electronic devices in sight. No cell phone (though I knew it was stowed safely in her bag). No iPad or Kindle. There weren’t ear buds dangling from her ears or unauthorized touches of makeup on her beautiful face.

She wasn’t that kind of kid. Or to put it more plainly, she was pretty much the exact opposite of me at that age. The things that had driven me and gotten me excited were completely and utterly boring to my daughter.

Natalie opened the back door and tossed her giant backpack onto the seat before slamming the door shut and climbing in front beside me. I watched her as she buckled in. “You know you can change into something more comfortable after school.”

She shrugged. “Why waste the clothes? My uniform is comfortable enough.”

I shook my head. “What about something fun?”

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m good. Trust me.”

“Suit yourself,” I sighed as I slid back out into traffic.

Thirteen had been fun so far. Natalie and I were so alike and yet so… not. I blame it on my awesome parenting. And the massive differences in our childhoods. I had two incredibly successful parents who hated each other and never wanted to spend time with their child. Natalie had two parents who didn’t particularly like each other, but loved the ever-living crap out of her—enough to move heaven and earth to make her happy.

Love and happiness was the difference between living to piss someone else off, and living for you. I could look back now and see how my clothing and makeup choices had been motivated by rebellion. I could also see how my friends and relationship with Brandon were about more than fitting in. I’d raced into adulthood for one very important reason: I wanted to escape my parents.

It was different for Natalie. She could become whoever she wanted to be, instead of a reaction to everyone else.

I envied her sometimes.

“You should have some fun while I’m gone.”

The quiet statement came out of nowhere and hit me like a ball out of left field. “Ummm….” Eloquent. I could nail pitches in the boardroom and think on my feet in a meeting, but a comment from my daughter left me speechless.

“Seriously, it’s been like, six months since your last date.”

“I’m busy,” I replied a little too quickly.

“You are not too busy. What did Dad say about spring break?”

“We’re meeting in New York now.”

The grin on my daughter’s face was so enormous I didn’t care that I hated her father for changing all our plans at the last minute. “Yes! Did he say he’d take me back to the Morgan Library?”

I smiled as I turned the car into the driveway. “He said you could do whatever you wanted, including the Library.”

Last time in New York, Brandon hired a touring service to personally take Natalie through each of the museums and give her a guided tour. Natalie had been in heaven, but the Morgan Library had been her favorite.

“Don’t work too hard while I’m gone. In fact, try not to work at all. Go out with your friends…Grace said she’d love to do a girls night. Go on a date. Or three.” The words were bubbling out of her mouth as fast as she could spit them out. Obviously this was something that had been on her mind and, more than likely, she’d been waiting for the perfect moment to say.

She looked down at her delicate hands. “I worry about you, Mom. You spend so much time working and being a mom, but you don’t do anything for yourself.”

“I take care of myself, baby.” I stroked her hair. “I don’t need a love life right now. I have all the things I need.”

Honestly, even thinking about having a love life usually made me nauseous. It was so much work for so little payoff. It was shocking how many jackasses existed on the planet. Not to mention the sexist jerks. Most were flat out intimidated by me. (That was at least partially my fault. I liked to see if they scared easily and well…most of them did.) That left about two dudes on the planet who weren’t scaredy-cats or assholes, and I hadn’t yet had the pleasure of meeting either of these mysterious men.

Natalie frowned. “Just…think about it?”

I could think about it all I wanted, it wasn’t going to change my feelings on the subject, but for the sake of my daughter, I let her have a small victory. “I will,” I promised.

3

“You look like hell, Greg.”

I was out for drinks when I ran into Tyler Jones, a reporter I knew loosely through my friend, Eve. He was an asshole. The typical selfish prick you expect to see on air, feeding off the attention of everyone around him. So of course the moment he saw me, he kicked our conversation off with a putdown.

“And you still look like a rhinoceros had sex with a giraffe and gave birth to you.” He did. The man had the weirdest looking nose and his neck was way too long. Somehow neither of those features was obvious on camera, but in person…well, they were hard to ignore. Plus the man was only five foot eight—at most.

Tyler snorted and threw back the rest of his scotch. “Eloquent as always, Hamilton. Tell Eve I said hi.” Then he turned and stalked off before I had a chance to reply.

Thank fuck.

I wasn’t in the mood for small talk. I probably shouldn’t have gone out at all in the state I was in, but staying home alone, with nothing to do but stare out the window, was not an option.

Well, not a good one anyway.

I leaned into the bar and signaled Levi, the bartender. A moment later my glass of Knob Creek was refilled with a fresh slice of lime on top of the ice. The bar was five minutes from home—I could walk if I got too trashed. It wouldn’t be the first time and it wouldn’t be the last.

The smooth alcohol was the only thing that seemed to quiet my mind lately. For some reason it had gone into hyperactive overdrive in the last week or so. I wasn’t sleeping, I was barely eating, and exercising way too much considering how much I wasn’t sleeping or eating. I was restless and anxious, and for the life of me, no matter how much I listened to the thoughts rolling around in my head, I couldn’t seem to figure out what was wrong with me. Sometimes I simply gave up and had a couple of drinks to put me to sleep.

Well, that was a lie. I knew what was wrong with me. I just didn’t know why it was making my life such a living hell right now.

A laugh rolled across the bar. A deep, sultry, genuine laugh. The kind that turns everyone’s head and makes everyone smile. I glanced around looking for the source of the happiness when my eyes landed on her.

Blondes weren’t usually my type, but this woman was incredible. Her smile lit up her entire gorgeous face as she shook her head and closed her eyes, the laughter still bubbling out of her. Somehow that little action seemed wrong. Her eyes were too beautiful to ever be hidden from the world. A deep shade of blue that almost flirted with purple. She was wearing a sexy black cocktail dress that plunged down between her perfect breasts, revealing their round shape, but leaving everything else to the imagination.

And I was already imagining a lot.

I swallowed and took a drink. I shouldn’t be staring, but damn. How could I stop?

“Another?” Levi was standing with his eyebrow cocked and the bottle of Knob in his hands. I glanced down at my now empty glass. Fuck me. That woman had me so distracted I’d downed my drink without noticing.

She was a witch.

A sexy, distracting witch.

“Sure.” I set down my glass and turned my attention back to the woman across the bar. Maybe I didn’t need another drink, maybe I needed a distraction. The kind that left us both sweaty and exhausted at the end. There was no way I could have insomnia after an hour in bed with her.

I swallowed and cracked my neck as an inappropriate amount of desire made itself known in my body. I needed a plan before I walked over to her. Normal women were arm candy for events, or quick meaningless fucks to pass the time. But women like her, whoever she was, were a helluva lot more. They were mindfucks—sirens who consumed men mind, body, and soul. Being consumed by them was the purest form of pleasure that existed on Earth.

But it was also the most destructive.

I waited until the laughter died down and made my way around the bar to the sexy blonde in the black cocktail dress.

4

“Why don’t we just go to the restaurant and have dessert?” I pleaded with Grace, my best friend (and current tyrant), as we stood outside the Time Lounge. The bouncer eyed us with a smile. He probably saw scenes like this all the time.

The last thing I wanted to do was walk into a bar and have a drink, but with Natalie in New York for spring break, I’d agreed to get out and have fun with Grace.

“You promised, Marie.” Grace stuck her finger in my face. “All you do is work and take care of Natalie. You haven’t been out for drinks with me in months, and I know for a fact the only date you’ve been on all year was a business date. Get your butt in there or I’ll have Jorge drag you in by force.” She pointed at the bouncer.

Of course Grace knew the bouncer.

We were two sides of the same coin and I loved her to death. Except in this exact moment, I was seriously considering killing her.

“Fine. Thirty minutes and then I want to get to bed.”

“An hour,” Grace countered.

I glanced at the silver watch on my wrist. Was it really only ten? Teenage Marie was laughing at me wanting to get home to my pajamas and a book on a hot Thursday night without my kid. But seriously, the cocktail dress was too tight, the heels were too high, my makeup was too heavy, and the humidity was too thick. I could be in something comfortable right now.

Besides, seventeen-year-old Marie got knocked up while being wild and staying out too late. But then again, Grace was being a good friend by dragging me out of my usual routine; the least I could do was return the favor by making it worth her while.

Maybe I could be her wing-girl.

“Fine, an hour. Then you’re taking me home. And I get to pick what we do tomorrow night.”

Grace rolled her eyes. “You are far too much work. Why do I put up with you?”

I grinned. “Because you can’t live without me.”

“Oh, that’s right!” Then she turned and stuck her finger in my face again. “Wait, you have to pick something outside of the house or the deal is off.”

I shook my head and sighed. “Yes, Gracie. I swear we will go out tomorrow night.”

She nodded and turned, stalking toward Jorge, who leaned down from his immense height to peck Grace on the cheek. “Should I check her ID, or are you sneaking beautiful underage women in under my nose?”

I froze and eyed Jorge. “I don’t like cheesy lines, dude.”

The enormous man chuckled and held out his hand. “Normally I’m pretty good at my job, but you’re what I call a ‘blank’. There’s really no way to tell how old you actually are without seeing your ID.”

I pulled my driver’s license out of my clutch with a flourish. “And just how old do you think I am?”

Jorge gave me a once over, glanced at Grace, and then back at me. “If I had to guess, I’d say twenty-four, maybe twenty-five at most.”

If Jorge hadn’t looked so serious I would have laughed. “I’m thirty.”

I held up my ID and Jorge frowned. “Damn. You look good Miss Marie Bancroft. Have a nice evening.” He leaned down as I walked by. “And watch out for Gracie, she’s trouble.” He winked and I grinned. Yes, Gracie was enough trouble for all of us.

We were standing at the crowded bar, halfway through our first drinks when I saw him. Blondish hair mussed in a sexy, I-run-my-hands-through-it-all-day, kind of way. A light stubble on his strong jaw, tie loosened with a button undone, sleeves rolled, revealing tanned, muscular forearms with a bulging vein running up and around from his wrist to his elbow. His eyes were a soft blue, but they looked dark and haunted. His jaw was clenching and unclenching as he dismissed the douchey reporter from Channel 8 that I always hated talking to.

I tried desperately to place this sexy, brooding, expanse of man across the bar from me, but I couldn’t. Something about this man called to me, though. I wasn’t sure if it was his looks or his mood, either way, it seemed to be radiating across the bar and into my skin. I could feel him even when I wasn’t looking at him. I wanted to know why he didn’t seem happy. He looked like so much more than a drink and a bad day. He was a mystery to me and mysteries were my kryptonite. I craved them. I wanted to unravel them and find out all their secrets.

Of course that was how I fell in love with Brandon and wound up with Natalie. He was dark and brooding and everything I needed to piss my parents off. I unwrapped his mysteries and found a selfish, egotistical, spoiled playboy underneath. His mystery wasn’t very exciting in the end, but it gave me the greatest gift I’d ever gotten—my daughter and a fresh start in life.

“Earth to Marie! Come in Marie!” Grace shook my arm, jolting me out of my thoughts.

“Sorry about that.”

“Were you daydreaming about Brandon? Do you think Natalie will pull another Parent Trap and try to get you guys to fall in love and live happily ever after?” Grace said all of this in a silly, sing-song voice with a ridiculous grin on her face. She knew better than anyone how little I loved my ex. We tolerated each other from a distance and made a nice family for Natalie, but love was the furthest thing from either of our minds.

A giggle started that I couldn’t seem to stop. “Oh, God. Me and Brandon. Could you imagine what that would look like?”

Grace started giggling, too. “Would he dare to move to Tampa?”

I busted out with a full belly laugh. I couldn’t help myself. The thought of Brandon living in a town like this? It was so far from possible that imagining it was ridiculous. I pictured him frowning every time he walked outside into a wall of humidity, and the laughter kept rolling out of me. Then I pictured him frowning and pulling his eyebrows together as Natalie suggested a boat ride. The thought of Brandon in anything but his two thousand dollar suits walking the streets of Paris was simply impossible.

“Nope, we’d have to move to Paris to be with him. He could never come down and spend time with the little people.” That made Grace laugh harder and I knew she was imagining the same things as me.

Thinking of Brandon anywhere but in his office, leading his family company as CEO of Calais Athletics, was like imagining the Pope in swim trunks.

“Don’t you want to give up this little dream of running the Tampa branch of Bancroft Sports and run off to be taken care of by your prince charming?” Grace downed the rest of her drink and slammed it on the bar. “I’m hitting the ladies. Get me another?”

I nodded and swirled the last of my drink. As I stared at the quickly melting ice, I couldn’t help but think back on my fourteen years with Brandon. We were only lovers for a very short while, but we’d struck up a unique friendship. He was one of the few people in my life who truly understood the pressures of growing up in a powerful family—the need to step out from the shadow and pursue my own dreams. So while he was an annoying thorn in my side, he could also be a good friend at times.

Running the southern branch of my family’s company wasn’t entirely a dream come true, but it gave me the separation and freedom I needed. Plus, I had a fairly large amount of job security. Brandon was my rebellion, not my knight in shining armor. I’d never met a man I wanted to fill that role, and I wasn’t sure I ever would.

I didn’t want to be saved. I just wanted to be understood. And if that meant never falling in love or getting married, I was fine with that. There was so much more to life than falling in love.

But then I looked up in time to see the sexy man from the other side of the bar. He was rounding the corner and coming straight for me. His gorgeous blue eyes were locked onto mine and I felt the entire world fall away. One glance and this dark man had taken all the air from my lungs.

Who was he? And why was he coming to talk to me?

“Greg Hamilton.” He said it almost curtly, thrusting his hand out.

I looked down and cocked my head to the side. This was an interesting turn of events. “Marie,” I replied simply. My last name tended to give me away more often than not, and I had a feeling I didn’t want to be exposed to this man in that way.

I shook his hand and I tried my hardest to not get lost in his blue eyes, because damn, they were intense. It felt like he could see beneath my skin and into my soul. They were even more penetrating up close than they were from across the bar.

“I just wanted to come over and tell you that you have the best laugh I’ve ever heard in my life.”

Was that a line? Because if it was, it was one of the oddest ones I’d ever received. “Thank you?”

Greg shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t hear laughs like that very often, and yours was particularly beautiful. I just thought you should know.”

My laugh was beautiful. Not me. Not my dress or my hair. Not even my body. “Well thank you very much. Can I get you a drink? I was about to order us some fresh ones.”

Greg looked down at his mostly full glass. “No, I’m fine, but thank you.”

I leaned my hip into the bar and signaled the bartender. He held up a finger, letting me know he’d be over in a moment. I turned back to Greg. “So is that really the only reason you came over?”

He chuckled and took a drink, a wry smile pulling at one side of his lips. “Look sweetheart, you’re a beautiful woman, I don’t think you need me to tell you that. Or maybe that’s what you prefer?”

Oh…this dude had an attitude on him. And for some reason, I liked that. “Actually I can’t stand it when men say bullshit like that. I was just trying to figure out what your game is. One minute you’re pissing off Tyler Jones and looking like you’d rather eat nails than be in this bar, and the next you’re over here smiling and telling me my laugh is beautiful.”

I couldn’t decide if Greg was a genuinely interesting mystery or just another half-drunk jackass bored and looking for a quick fuck (or a fight) on a Thursday night.

He took a step toward me. Even in my three-inch heels he had a couple of inches on me, which wasn’t saying a whole lot, I wasn’t exactly tall, but I had to look up to see into his eyes. “I have a policy to always tell people when I admire something about them. Life is too short to keep shit like that to ourselves.”

Oh, that was very interesting. Greg Hamilton had a history, of that I was sure. People only tended to throw around lines like “life is too short” when they knew first hand just how fragile life could be. “That’s a very sound policy. For the record, you have the most amazing eyes I’ve ever seen.”

Those baby blues widened and then darkened. Hot didn’t begin to cover it.

“And, just for the record, you do have a beautiful body.”

For some reason, that made me blush. His gaze flicked to my cheeks and neck, and then he took a step back, as if realizing he’d embarrassed me and felt bad. But having him step away made me sad. There was something about having him close that I very much enjoyed. His presence was immense. The closer he got, the more intensely I felt it. The air was charged and his scent—some sort of manly Old Spice-type musk—was everywhere.

It was like a little taste of heaven and I wanted it back.

He cleared his throat. “Sorry.”

“Why are you sorry for telling me that? I thought it was your policy to always tell someone when you admire something about them. Unless you were lying?”

He frowned and cocked an eyebrow. I had a feeling this was a typical expression for Greg. The lines on his brow creased and deepened as if this was the normal position for his skin. “No, I wasn’t lying. But you turned red.” He waved his glass in a circle over my face.

I smiled. This man was a very interesting enigma. “So?”

“So I felt bad.”

“Why did you feel bad for complimenting my body?”

He looked at me like I was crazy. “I just…” he ran his hand through his hair, messing it into a totally different configuration. A totally tuggable one at that. “I just didn’t want you to think I was that kind of guy.”

“And what kind of guy is that?” I knew I was being difficult, but Greg was making it so much fun.

“The kind of guy who picks up women in bars.”

“That’s not the kind of guy you are? You’ve never picked up a woman in a bar before?”

I was absolutely positive that Greg had picked up his fair share of women over the years. He wasn’t exactly young, but he wasn’t old either. My guess was mid-to-late thirties. A wonderful age for men. They were still young enough to have fun, but old enough to have learned from their mistakes.

He glared at me. “Fuck. Yes, I occasionally meet women in bars.”

“Then why don’t you want me to think you were trying to pick me up?”

Greg looked completely exasperated by me. His brows were furrowed, he was frowning, and his glass was almost empty now.

“What can I get you?” The bartender had finally made his way back down to me.

“Another white wine and a whiskey and tonic.”

“The Glenlivet?”

“Please.”

The bartender looked over my shoulder. “Another Knob for you?”

When I looked back at Greg I realized he was staring at me. “What?”

“Nothing,” he replied quickly. “And I’m fine, thanks.” The bartender nodded and got busy making our drinks.

Whatever Greg was thinking, it was not nothing. I didn’t know what it was…but I sure wanted to find out. “So Greg Hamilton, drinker of Knob Creek and occasional picker-upper of women in bars, what are you doing over here talking to me?”

He swallowed and shook his head. “I think I might be getting picked up by you.” A huge grin split his face, lighting up his eyes.

I looked Greg up and down before meeting his eyes again. Was I picking him up? I hadn’t done anything that ill-advised in years, and yet…I kinda wanted to see what would happen. I bit my lip while I debated, and Greg’s eyes narrowed. Oh, this was nice. I had an effect on this man. “I haven’t decided yet,” I finally said.

Greg stepped up so that our fingertips were touching. “Well, then let me help you decide.”

5

Fuck, what was happening? This chick, she was…different. She wasn’t here to get drunk and laid, that much was clear. But she was sex in a hot black dress, without even trying. I’d never had such an intellectual bar conversation before, certainly not with a woman who looked like her.

I’d intentionally stepped things up a notch. I was in her personal space—close enough that it would normally force a person to step back, unless they enjoyed the invasion of their privacy. When she didn’t move, I’d grazed her fingertips. Now she was staring at our hands, but she still wasn’t stepping away.

“Does this make you uncomfortable?”

Only her eyes moved to meet mine. It was crazy intense the way she did that. “Are you trying to make me uncomfortable?”

I couldn’t figure her out. Normally a woman would be eating out of the palm of my hand, or slapping me in the face at this point. Marie did neither. “I think I am,” I confessed. And she was getting me to be honest.

“And why is that?” Her voice dropped an octave and she leaned toward me, closing the gap between our lips so that I could feel her soft breaths against my skin. She was playing my game and, quite possibly, beating me at it.

Why did I want to make her uncomfortable? I’d come over here to check her out, not drive her away, and yet…I think I wanted her to reject me.

“Maybe it’s my twisted way of giving you a chance to run away.”

She stared me down and I realized she wasn’t breathing anymore. “Why should I run from you, Greg Hamilton?”

“Because I don’t want to hurt you.” I said it automatically. It was like she was truth serum and I had no choice but to tell her exactly whatever popped into my head.

But really? I was lying to myself. I knew for a fact I wanted Marie to walk away because if she didn’t, I would get hurt. Marie was exactly the kind of woman who could see through my shit. She would use me, and I’d thank her for it.

“You are a very interesting man.”

I was so fucked up because that one little statement made me happy. So did the smile on her gorgeous face. I held up my glass of whiskey and grinned. “Cheers to that, sweetheart.”

Sinful body, dangerous mind. Was she worth the effort to seduce?

My body was all for it, but I was holding back because my brain was on full alert. “What do you do, Marie?”

Her eyebrow quirked up and she leaned back to pick up her drink. “I run a company. You?” She drank her Glenlivet like it was her usual. A woman who could drink whiskey was such a turn-on.

“I run a company,” I replied.

“So we’re playing this game, huh?”

“Seems like it,” I agreed. “But you started it, not me.”

“True.”

No last name, no company name. She didn’t want me to have any information on her which meant she was either planning on finishing what she started and take me home, or she was planning on running out of here like her pants were on fire.

“You drink whiskey,” I pointed out.

“I do,” she agreed, holding up her glass like she was toasting me. “And it seems you do as well.”

“I do.” I touched the lip of my glass to hers and we each took a sip. Marie was very smart. It wasn’t just the way she spoke or the fact that she ran a company. I could tell by the way she was feeling me out and studying my every move. She was doing it so carefully that most idiots probably wouldn’t even notice, but I did. I noticed because it was exactly what I was doing.

It was amazing what you could learn about a person simply by observing. Take her clothes and makeup, for instance. The dress wasn’t a polyester blue-light special she’d grabbed at a local discount chain—it was a very nice quality fabric and tailored to her body. She’d paid good money for the dress and then even more to have it nipped and tucked to fit like a second skin.

Something I very much appreciated.

Her makeup was subtle, but perfectly applied to accentuate her features. It wasn’t gaudy. She knew what she was doing and how she wanted to look.

And then there was the way she held herself. Shoulders back, core firm. She was confident, but not intimidating. She often spoke with her hands and used them to suggest where I should stand or look. She was used to leading.

But there was something else that I wasn’t expecting.

A hesitation in her eyes. The way they hardened and darted when I pushed her, told me that she was camouflaging her panic. My best guess was that Marie didn’t usually let many people get close to her. She was a contained person and getting inside her defenses was a feat reserved for very few people, and even fewer men.

I should probably be flattered that she was talking to me at all.

And yet she was here. She’d come to the bar dressed to kill. So maybe my suspicions were wrong.

“Have we met before?”

Her simple question caught me off guard. “I’m damn sure I’d remember meeting you.”

She cocked her head to the side and ran her gorgeous eyes over me once again and shrugged. “I just keep getting this feeling we must have met before, but I think I would remember meeting someone with a foul mouth like yours.”

I laughed. “Sweetheart, this is me being polite.” She had no idea what I sounded like normally.

She smiled. “Yes, I can tell.”

“Want to hear what I sound like in bed?”

“I can only imagine my ears will burn.”

“Along with the rest of you.”

She swallowed hard. I was tired of playing games and trying to figure her out. If she wanted me, I was going to go for it. If she rejected me, I’d take that as a sign and be grateful I escaped with my balls still attached.

“I barely even know you,” she murmured.

Ah, there it was. Proof she wasn’t out for a good time. Well, not a good time with a guy like me. “Look, I’m low maintenance and a pretty good lay. I’ll be drinking over there.” I pointed back to the middle of the bar where I’d been camped for the last hour. “If you decide you want a screaming orgasm for dessert, you come get me. Otherwise, it was a pleasure to hear you laugh, Marie.”

I leaned in and kissed her on the cheek—which was a dumb move because all I wanted to do after that was drag her out of the bar and straight back to my apartment. I hurried back around the bar as fast as I could without looking like I was running and hoped to God her friend had to go to the bathroom a lot for the rest of the night.

I tried not to be obvious as I watched Marie and her dark-haired friend. The friend kept her back to me, so I never got a good look at her face, not that I cared. I was pretty focused on the blonde. The siren. My doom. I could call her whatever I wanted, it was all the same. Marie had taken over my brain.

But hey, at least I was distracted.

“Should I call Jake?” Levi leaned in and pushed a glass of water into my hand.

I stared at the glass. “No. Why?”

“I’ve never seen you like this before.”

“I’m not drunk.” I could drink a bottle and still walk home. At least I thought I could. How much had I had to drink?

“No, I know you’re not drunk. I’m the one pouring, remember?”

He had a point. “Then what?”

He shook his head and folded his arms across his chest. “Uncomfortable.”

Oh. Yeah, “uncomfortable” was a bad word around me. “Shit.”

“Yep.”

“It’s showing?”

“To anyone who’s spent more than five minutes around you.”

I glanced across the bar. Marie gave me a half smile and a tiny wave as she and her friend walked out of the bar. My muscles tensed, and I knew it was because my body was pissed that I was letting her walk away. But I wasn’t going after her. I made my offer and she turned me down. She was too rich for my blood and I was better off walking home alone.

At least that was what I kept telling myself.

6

I usually liked Fridays. Typically I scooted out of work a little early, grabbed Natalie, and scarfed down an early dinner. I had the ability to see just about any game at any time, so we took full advantage of that opportunity and enjoyed Friday night hockey or baseball games, depending on the time of year. I was a little sad she wasn’t with me this week, but it was also nice to do something different because I needed to snap out of my comfortable routine. Comfort was good, but too much of it was stifling, and I’d let myself get too comfortable.

Last night was proof of that. I felt more alive today than I had in a long while. Not because I’d gotten dressed up and gone out for fun, but because a sexy man had found me attractive—and I’d found him attractive, too.

I was a woman and I’d kind of let myself forget that being a woman sometimes involved a different part of my body and brain. As much as I loved being a mother and vice president of a large company, it wasn’t the same game as the instinctual desires I had to make someone feel good—or to have them make me feel good in return.

Just not anonymously with a stranger in a bar. I’d wanted to (badly) but my common sense had won out. Natalie and Grace were both right. I needed to start dating again. I would find a nice man, go on the appropriate number of dates, and then fuck him.

Strange man in bar, bad.

Appropriate dating, good.

I’d start by discussing options with Grace over dinner tonight. I just had to finish a quick meeting first.

Randall Evans was the starting left fielder for the Tampa Bay Rays and a longstanding client of Bancroft Sports. Normally I didn’t handle athletes, I just oversaw the business. But his agent was out on maternity leave and I was personally stepping in on her “highest value” assets. Or as we called them behind closed doors, the “biggest divas who made too much money to tell them to grow the hell up.” Some of these guys (and girls) really needed a kick in the reality pants. Most were amazing, but there were a few…and Randall was definitely one of them.

“Hey Marie!” he called as I waved him into the hallway. We were just outside the locker rooms at Tropicana Field where the Rays were about to play the Red Sox. Well, in about three hours.

Randall was tall and very muscular. Dark hair, a thin beard, and piercing dark eyes. He could be handsome if he smiled, but he rarely smiled, so instead he tended to look like he was angry all the time. Which, he was. Randall had an anger management problem that Bancroft Sports was forced to stay one step ahead of…and a seven o’clock Friday night game against the Sox was definitely something that might trigger a Randall Evans episode.

We moved into the shadows and away from any prying eyes and ears. “I just wanted to touch base real fast.”

“No problem.” He smiled, looking uncharacteristically handsome for a brief moment as he leaned up against the wall. “I had a feeling I’d be hearing from you.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Oh really?”

“Yeah. It’s standard procedure for Miranda to give me a lecture before a big game and coordinate a plan for the night.”

“So you know the drill.”

“I do. Keep it cool. Play the game. Count to ten.” Then his smile faded away. “The guys want to hit Blue Martini after the game.”

“I’ll call Anthony.” Anthony was a popular choice for personal security because he was excellent at sliding into the shadows at clubs, therefore staying out of the way, all while keeping a very close eye on things. He was also very good at getting the guys out of places before trouble got out of hand.

Randall shrugged. “I’d argue but I’d rather not get arrested again.”

“You could try and get your anger under control. Maybe not drink when you’re out?”

“You only live once. I’d rather live hard than not at all.”

I’d keep arguing with him, but I knew full well it was a lost cause. I’d thrown in my two-cents and he’d discarded it just like all the others had. I’d been working for my father’s company since I was a teenager. Before that I’d watched him work, sometimes even making friends with his client’s children. I knew how this business worked and how the attitudes of some athlete’s would never change. So I saved my breath. “Your life, your call. Just stick with Anthony and don’t get in trouble. Please? I’d rather enjoy my weekend off than spend it cleaning up after your ass.”

He frowned and his usual angry look returned. “I understand. Your weekend will remain intact, as will mine.” We shook hands and he jogged back to the locker room.

The stadium was very quiet. Food crews were setting up, staff was trickling in. But by and large, the hallways were empty and quiet.

This was one of the few fond childhood memories I had of my father—the places we would go that were normally off-limits or typically crowded with people but were empty and accessible to us at off times. He didn’t bring me along often, but when he did…it was like magic. The places were filled with a vibe, like electricity waiting for the energy of the coming crowd. It was also special because in those times, my father was a completely different person.

At work, behind his desk, he was a stern, methodical, cold man. But in the stadiums, he smiled. He joked. He loosened his tie and told stories. That was the only time I ever saw that man, and I felt like it was a glimpse at a life we could have had, so I held on to those memories. Probably harder than I should have.

A familiar voice echoed off the walls and brought me out of my trip down memory lane. “Bring the kids through here—and make sure they each have a pennant—and a bell—before you walk them up to their seats, Okay?” Eve Spencer, the Director of Fan Experience for the Rays was walking a group of ushers around, and from the sound of it, giving them instructions for the game. “Marie! Hey! I haven’t seen you in ages.” She waved off the group and crossed the hallway to my side where I was standing near the bathrooms.

Eve was a couple of inches taller than me, had a gorgeous head of dark hair, and dark eyes. She was wearing a very nicely tailored three-quarter sleeve Rays baseball t-shirt and jeans. She was pretty much the complete opposite of me from my blonde hair, to my suit and heels.

“Just checking in with Randall before the game.”

Eve frowned. “Ick. Friday night game…yeah.”

I shrugged. “He says he’s cool, and he’s taking Anthony out with them tonight.”

“No amount of personal security is going to keep him in line. He’s a loose cannon and it’s just a matter of time before you and I are doing major damage control on his ass again.”

It had been almost a year since I’d gotten to know Eve better than expected, thanks to Randall’s temper. We spent the better part of a month dealing with the press. But in that experience I found an unexpected friendship. There weren’t many high-ranking women in our positions, and even fewer in sports-related companies, so we’d bonded over our uniqueness and agreed to meet up from time to time. But we were usually too busy to actually schedule anything, despite living and working in the same little circle of Tampa. More often than not, my conversations with Eve took place through email and a Google Hangout box that popped up on my computer.

“Other than work, how are things?” Eve asked.

“Great. My daughter is on spring break with her dad so I’m about to head out for drinks.”

“Excellent!” she grinned. “Man, I wish I’d known. We could have had dinner.” She leaned in and lowered her voice, “I could really use a vent session. This season is killing me.”

I smiled and nodded. “Trust me, I could fill your ears with stuff that would make you blush.”

She looked up and raised an eyebrow. “The rumors about Bobby are true?”

One of my “high value” clients was a very well-known basketball player who’d been making a serious round through the gossip mills for the last month. “Yep.”

“Drinks. Next week. My house. We’ll talk inside and away from prying ears. Bring the kid.”

“You sure?” Natalie was a very well-behaved and quiet kid, but I still felt bad bringing her to places where there wouldn’t be other kids.

“She still loves books, right?”

I nodded.

“Then we’ll let her loose in my library.”

“You’re right,” I laughed. “We won’t see her for days.”

“There is a very comfortable couch in there and a guest room down the hall. Feel free to stay until she digs her way out of the stacks.” Eve smiled and gave me a quick hug. “Have your people call my people.”

“Do people still get that joke?”

Eve shrugged as she walked backward to her group of waiting ushers. “Are you calling me old?”

I rolled my eyes. “Go work already.”

And with a final wave in my direction, she did.

* * *

“Cheers to that.” I clinked my wine glass against Grace’s. We were halfway through dinner at Saison Grille, having a completely splurgy girl’s dinner out. So far, so delicious.

“Seven, five, two, eleven.” Grace ticked off the men in the room. My plan to jump back into the dating pool was backfiring. Grace was taking over and determined to get me a date tonight. “You should go to the bathroom and slink by that eleven, he’s…wow, he’s delicious.”

Grace’s eye narrowed on the tall, broad man sitting three tables over. He was dressed in a very nice dark grey suit with a dark red satin tie. He was absolutely an eleven, and also the backup quarterback for the Bucs. And also another of Bancroft Sports athletes. Since Grace didn’t actually follow any sports, she didn’t recognize him, and I figured that was an excellent reason to fuck with her mind as payback for taking things too far.

“You know, you’re right.” I pushed back my chair and walked right up to Kevin Rogers without giving Grace a second glance. If I had, I would have busted out laughing.

He smiled the moment I caught his eye and I held up a finger where Grace couldn’t see to let him know to play it cool. He got the message loud and clear, pushing back his chair and leaning back casually as I approached.

“What are you up to, Marie?”

“You see my friend back there? She wanted me to come hit on you. She’s been up my skirt all night, so I thought I’d give her a little show. You game for that, Rogers?”

His grin widened and his eyes lit up. “You don’t have to ask me twice. This is my brother, by the way.”

I glanced over at the equally gorgeous man across from Kevin and held out my hand. “Marie Bancroft.”

He stood and took my hand with a little half bow. “Kyle Rogers. I take it you are the ‘Bancroft’ in Bancroft Sports?”

“That would be the one. What do you do, Kyle?” Based on his physique he could absolutely be an athlete like his brother, but he wasn’t my client, so I was betting not.

“Stunt coordinator for television and movies.”

That explained things. “No desk jobs for the Rogers boys, huh?”

Kyle moved over to the empty chair and pulled it out for me. “Naw, mom always said we had too much energy to sit still for long. She got us both in sports early on. Kevin was more of a team player while…well, I liked to be a dare devil.”

“BMX?”

He grinned. “Among many other things. Let’s just say when parkour and the whole free running phenomenon came along, I was the happiest teenager in Gainesville.”

I glanced back and forth between the sexy, well-dressed brothers. “You two are ridiculously good looking.” As I looked around the restaurant I realized how many female eyes were wandering over to this table over and over again. “First of all, I need to get you two into some sort of sponsorship deal. We are losing money hand over fist not capitalizing on that. And second of all, one of you needs to go over to Grace and ask her to come home with you. Tell her we’re all going back to your place and having a ‘private party for four.’ ”

Both sets of eyebrows shot up. “Miss Bancroft.”

I rolled my eyes. “Trust me. It will be fun to watch Grace react to that.”

Kyle shook his head. “You must really want her off your case. I’ll do it.” He pushed back from the table and—very sexily I might add—sauntered over to a wide-eyed Grace.

“Let’s give her something to stare at,” Kevin murmured, standing up and grabbing me by the elbow, pulling me into his arms. He leaned in like he was going to kiss me, but stopped inches from my lips and whispered. “This isn’t pushing our professional relationship too far is it?”

“Only a little.”

“If I’m making you uncomfortable, just let me know.”

In reality, I was a little uncomfortable. Not because a client of my company was holding me in a rather intimate embrace, but because, I realized, I hadn’t been held by a man in far too long. I was attracted to Kevin in the way any red-blooded woman would be attracted to a six-foot three-inch athlete with a dashing smile, square jaw, twinkling eyes, and a suit more expensive than my shoes. He was completely swoon-worthy. “Is it working?” I whispered.

Kevin pulled back a little and glanced over my shoulder. “It might actually be backfiring. I think Kyle is hitting on your friend.”

Oh Grace. “He is single, right?”

“Oh, yes. Very much so. And a good guy.” He winked.

I stepped out of his embrace and straightened my dress as I glanced back at my table. Sure enough, Kyle and Grace were leaned in toward each other with stupid grins on their faces. Grace was giving him an eyeful of her cleavage and biting her lip and Kyle was eating it up. “I hope you didn’t have any big plans for the night.”

“Not really,” he laughed.

That was when I saw him.

Greg.

Sitting across the dining room at a table with three other men, a glass of whiskey in his hand, and his eyes locked on me. The floor fell out from under me and my knees went a little weak.

“Whoa there.” Kevin slid his arm around my waist to steady me. “I know I’m awesome and all, but are you all right?”

Nope. Not all right at all. A man I barely knew was making me swoon from across a room with a single glance. I was old enough to know that was a very rare and very dangerous thing. “I’m fine,” I murmured. “I think I’ve had too much wine.”

Kevin guided me into a chair and moved his water glass to my hand. “Drink.”

Greg watched all of this, his eyes growing darker with each moment that passed. He never looked away and, for the life of me, I couldn’t look away either. My heart was racing and the heat surging between my legs was incredibly uncomfortable. I throbbed painfully with a need that only the man across the room would satisfy.

Why him, I had no earthly idea. The whole thing seemed ludicrous to me. I wasn’t a teenager anymore. I wasn’t supposed to have a superficial, lust-fueled attraction to a man based solely on physical need.

Or maybe I was…

I was thirty. Wasn’t that when women were supposed to come into their sexual prime? Or was that an old wives tale that wasn’t true. God, I hoped it was true, because I really needed an explanation for the insanity that was taking place inside my body.

“Can I ask you a weird question?”

Kevin cocked his head to the side. “Sure…”

“When you were twenty, what did it feel like when you looked at a beautiful woman?”

“Ummm…”

I finally pulled my eyes away from Greg and gave my full attention to Kevin. “Just generally. I’ve heard it makes you guys crazy and the only brain you have that works is the one between your legs.”

That made him laugh. “Yeah, that’s basically it. It’s kinda crazy, but yeah, it’s like your whole body just comes to life and there is a heat-seeking missile stuck in your pants that needs to get out before you explode.”

Yep. That was it. I had a heat-seeking missile between my legs and I was worried if I looked back at Greg again, I might just explode.

“Can I ask why you want to know that?”

I glanced around the room and found a remarkably young man with a slightly older woman, clearly on a date. “Just wondering about them.” I lied.

Kevin followed my eye line to the couple and chuckled. “Yeah, they’ll be having monkey sex later.”

“So will Grace and Kyle.”

We both made faces of mild disgust and shuddered.

7

I didn’t know myself. Whoever the hell this fucker was who’d taken over my body, I didn’t know him. From the moment I saw her out of the corner of my eye, I knew it was her. I don’t know how I knew, but I knew. She sucked me in and I hadn’t been able to look away.

I was having a quick dinner with some guys from work, a totally normal thing for us to do. Saison Grille was sort of on the way home for all of us. It had great food and a fantastic bar. We probably stopped in at least one Friday a month, sometimes two.

And I had never—not once—set eyes on Marie.

What the hell was she doing here?

Every bit as sexy and confident as the night before, but different. Instead of a slinky black cocktail dress, she was wearing a looser, gauzier light blue dress and matching heels. Her hair was long and loose, and the combination of everything was hot as hell.

And then she walked right up to Kevin-fucking-Rogers, and I thought I was going to break the fork in my hand.

That was, until I saw them flirting.

Then I wanted to break the fucking table.

Kevin’s head was going on the list next.

The guys were talking, but I didn’t hear anything. I was trying—for some stupid reason—to hear Marie and Kevin, even though there was no chance of hearing anything from here. I didn’t think they were a couple—I was almost positive she’d walked over from another table. I’d glanced at Kevin when we walked in, and as best as I could remember, he was sitting with a guy who looked a lot like him. Probably his brother.

So the good news was that Marie wasn’t with the semi-famous backup quarterback. The bad news was that she was flirting with a guy I didn’t stand a chance next to. A rich, handsome, former Gator quarterback riding the pine in the NFL was still a thousand times better than a foul-mouthed asshole, no matter how much money I stocked up in my bank account.

Wasn’t going to stop me from trying two nights in a row.

“Greg, you okay man?”

I glanced at Chuck, one of my managers at work, and someone I’d known for a good ten years. “Yeah, just recognize someone I know. Trying to figure out the right time to interrupt dinner.”

Chuck knew me well enough to know what that meant and let it drop.

I turned my attention back to Marie just as Kevin stood and put his arms around her.

Many people, myself included, tended to describe me as an angry man. And yet, the anger that coursed through me right then was more than anything I’d ever felt before in my life. I wanted to do a lot of very violent things at that moment, including testing the strength of the throwing hand of a certain quarterback.

Instead, I sent a look across the room that would have turned the head of the devil himself. I willed Marie to look across the room. And fuck it all, she did. Her eyes widened the moment they landed on mine, and then she lost her balance, like I’d physically knocked her on her ass with my eyes.

Fuck. Yeah.

And that’s when I knew I had her. She was just as turned on as I was. I knew it. I could see it. All I had to do was play my cards right.

So I waited patiently. Finished my dinner, talked to my friends, all while watching Marie move back to her table just out of my sight. I could see the top of her head and that was it. But I wasn’t too worried because Kevin stayed at his table, and the other guy joined him again.

I finally got my chance about ten minutes later. Kevin, the other guy, and Marie’s friend all left together, while Marie disappeared into the bathroom. Either she had someone else meeting her here at the restaurant, or she’d purposely stayed behind to see me again.

I was willing to bet on the second option.

“Thanks for dinner, gentlemen, but I have some things to attend to.” We said our goodbyes and Chuck gave me a look, telling me to be careful. I gave him a shrug and moved toward the bar. I found two empty seats near the end and made sure to keep my attention on the bartender, not on the hallway. I wanted to be available, not creepy. She knew I was here.

She didn’t keep me waiting long.

“Did you order me a drink?” Marie asked as she took the empty stool beside me. She had this sexy, confident yet shy, look to her blue eyes. They were just as crazy blue as I remembered.

“Of course I did.” The bartender placed two whiskeys in front of us. I pushed one toward her. “I ordered you one of my favorites.”

We clinked our glasses together and took a sip. “What is this? It’s…sweet?”

“Templeton Rye. My new favorite after-dinner whiskey.”

“Not bad.” She took another sip.

Whiskey on the rocks with a little lime—and she was enjoying it. I liked this woman a lot. “What brings you out again tonight?”

She set her glass down and moved it in circles over the lacquered wood. “Dinner with a friend. You?”

“Dinner with friends.”

She nodded, but still didn’t look up. “How did you know I’d come over?”

“I didn’t. But I went all-in.”

The corner of her lip turned up in a half smile and she finally raised her eyes to meet mine again. “I should have known you were a poker player. Let me guess, you like fine cigars as well?”

“Am I really that predictable?”

“You’re definitely a type,” she said huskily, and I hoped to God that meant she liked that type.

“I tend to break most molds.”

And then she laughed, not quite the same as the one that grabbed me last night, but just as mesmerizing. “Well, we’re alike in that regard.”

“Are you reconsidering my offer from last night?”

There was a long, painful silence for several seconds, and I was pretty sure Marie was holding her breath the entire time. It was really hard for me to not notice the rise and fall of her chest. I seemed to be tuned in to it. Every breath, every movement of her hands—it was like my skin was screaming for her fingers to touch it. I wasn’t the most observant guy in the world, and yet, I noticed everything about her.

“Are you still offering?” she finally murmured.

Hell yeah I’m still offering. I wanted her with every fiber of my being. And not just in a hot and bothered need for release. I was good looking enough, rich enough, and nice enough that I could get laid any time I wanted. It was easy to pick out the willing. I wasn’t looking for a quick fuck with this woman.

I wanted her. I needed to seduce her, to conquer her. I wanted to satisfy her. She was a challenge and a mystery that my dick and my ego both wanted equally.

I swallowed and touched her hand. The moment I made contact I needed more. My fingers automatically wrapped around hers. “The offer most definitely stands.”

She let out a slow breath between her pursed lips, then picked up the whiskey and knocked half of it back like a fucking goddess. “One time?”

“Sure. One time.” One time, ten times, a hundred times…however many times it took to satisfy her.

“Your place?”

I nodded slowly. No last name, no address…I glanced at her ring finger just to make sure I wasn’t about to get myself into someone’s marriage problems, but her finger looked completely bare. No tan line, no indent, no nothing. It didn’t look like she normally wore a ring on that finger at all. Not that it was definitive proof of being single, but it was a good start. “Sure, we can go to my place. But first, I have a couple of questions.”

Her eyebrow shot up. “All right. Go ahead.”

“You are single, correct? I don’t want anything to do with cheating.” I had some morals.

Her eyes softened. “No, I’m very, very single.” She said it like being attached to someone was a bad thing.

“I’m assuming, based on your request for one night and withholding your last name, that you’d prefer to keep things quick and anonymous?”

She nodded once and I saw that little glimmer of doubt flicker in her eyes again.

“Honestly? This is my weekend off from my life. I never, ever do anything like this, and I’ll probably never do it again, but for some bizarre reason, I am attracted to you. I don’t believe in signs or fate, but I do believe in opportunity. I need to relax and have a little fun. You have presented me with an offer that I am very interested in pursuing.”

“Workaholic?”

“Something like that,” she said softly.

“I believe in opportunity as well. I think we are both consenting adults and it is a nice Friday night to get to know each other.”

“Agreed.”

“Do you need a ride or are you going to follow me?”

“I need a ride,” she said with a smile. And that was when I learned I’d need to watch myself if I ever played cards with Marie. If I wasn’t careful, this woman would take everything I had.

“Rather confident, aren’t you?”

She shrugged and hopped off the stool. “It gets me places.”

And right then, it was about to get her underneath me.

8

A bright red Porsche? Oh dear Lord, I was going home with a guy who drove a bright red Porsche. I was definitely putting this in my “mistakes I never want to revisit” file. As much as I was oddly attracted to this guy, and strangely enjoyed talking to him, I did not do red Porsches.

I was a real American muscle kind of girl when it came to cars. Not that I cared much about cars—mostly I considered them a form of transportation to get me to and from work—but if I was going to get in a bright red car with an engine that could give a race car a run for its money, I wanted the engine to vibrate the seat of the car and look like it could get hit by a truck and keep on going.

This car…was neither of those things. The engine purred. It was great and powerful, but hardly exciting. And the inside was tiny. Barely enough room for the two of us.

Which was actually kind of nice, if I was being honest.

Greg had this confidence about him. Sure he was rough and had a blunt way of talking, but he was incredibly sure of himself and very honest. I didn’t doubt for a second that every word out of his mouth was genuine. I’m sure for some people it was rude and uncalled for, but for me, it was nice. I liked knowing there were no games with this man. He said what he meant and he meant what he said, even when it hurt.

Which was why I decided to meet him at the bar. In my head I was recounting all the logical reasons that a one-night stand was a dangerous and terrible idea. But I also knew when to trust my gut. Greg might be a terrible idea, but he was harmless. I was so attracted to him it hurt. Literally, I was in pain between my legs from the throbbing need to have a go at this man. I didn’t know anything about him other than his name and what kind of whiskey he drank, but my body didn’t give a shit. It wanted Greg Hamilton’s cock, and everything else was pure details.

“You sent the quarterback home?”

I studied his hand on the steering wheel. A strange scar ran down the side and around his wrist. “No, we’re just friends. I was using him to freak out my friend, but she didn’t fall for it.”

Greg laughed low and deep in his chest. The vibration was sultry and seductive.

I adjusted my legs. Again.

“I saw his brother leave with your friend.” He glanced my way. “Sister?”

I shook my head. “Nope. We’re as close as sisters, but I’m an only child.”

He made a noise that sounded like an acknowledgment. I wanted to ask if Greg had siblings, but then I realized there was no point to it. “Where do you live?”

“Harbor Island. We’ll be there in a moment.” A few minutes later he pulled onto a road lined with luxury condos. I knew a couple of people who lived near here. It was an excellent spot for those who liked to stay mobile. Close to the airport and downtown, beautiful homes with minimal upkeep, and high resale value. At the very least I knew Greg had some money.

He parked in a rather sparse two-car garage and took my hand as he led me inside and up a narrow set of dark stairs.

At the top, he flicked on lights that seemed to glow from behind the walls and ceiling, just barely illuminating the open living room and kitchen. Massive picture windows covered the far wall, providing a twinkling display of the boats moored outside, and downtown Tampa beyond.

“That’s a lovely view.”

“Thank you. It’s why I bought this place.” He moved into the kitchen and emptied his pockets into a glass bowl, then opened the fridge and grabbed two bottles of water. Black granite countertops and stainless steel appliances were just about the only notable thing about his kitchen. It looked unused. There were no appliances tucked into the corners, no pictures or dishes on display.

“Would you like to sit and talk, or move straight to the fucking?”

I’d almost forgotten how frank he could be. I cleared my throat. “I’m not really in the mood to talk, are you?”

Greg paused, almost as if I’d surprised him, and studied me. His steely blue eyes were fixed on mine, but I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. I couldn’t even guess at his mood. He was quiet, but for someone about to get laid, he didn’t seem overly happy. “No,” he finally murmured. “I’m not one much for talking.” He took my hand again and pulled me in the opposite direction from where we’d come in.

At the end of a darkened hallway was his bedroom. It had the same massive picture windows along one wall, and deep, plush carpet that my feet sank into the moment we crossed the threshold. A large, low platform bed stood along one wall, and a low couch on the other. The coffee table in front of it was covered in papers, and a blazer was flung across one arm. On the wall beside the couch three guitars were mounted on pegs.

The guitars seemed to be just about the only effort he’d put into decorating, outside of the furniture itself. His apartment was oddly comfortable, despite the lack of personal additions. Somehow it seemed just like him—what I saw was what I got. Simple, warm, confident.

I don’t know why I’d describe his condo as confident, but it was. I felt like it would be insulted if I made a disparaging comment and kick me out before Greg and I had a chance to kiss.

Oh God. We hadn’t even kissed and here I was, standing in his bedroom, about to fuck him.

I’d clearly lost my mind.

The heat-seeking missile between my legs was in charge.

He pulled off his blazer and tossed it on top of the one already lying on his couch, and loosened his tie, while I stood somewhat awkwardly near the door.

I should run.

This was dumb.

“Doubts?” he said bluntly. He wasn’t smiling, but his eyes sure were. He seemed quite amused by me.

“How many times have you done this?”

He yanked the tie free of his collar. “This? Never.”

Apparently the mom side of me came out with that remark, because before I could stop myself, my eyebrows were raised and my hands were on my hips. “Oh really?”

He snorted. “I didn’t say I’d never fucked and run. But I’m more of a back seat of the car, bathroom stall, her place, kinda guy.”

He loved the word “fuck”. He used it so much I was even thinking it in my head. That was very interesting…it was such an easy way to separate the emotion from the action. There were so many delicious layers to this guy. Layers I wasn’t going to examine. “You must not use your car very often for that then. There was barely room for the two of us to sit. I can’t imagine trying to have sex in it.”

“Yeah, I guess I don’t,” he shrugged.

Not his car, not his apartment. Very interesting. “So why did you bring me home if this isn’t something you normally do?”

He frowned and pulled his shirt free of his black suit pants. “You know, I’m not entirely sure.”

“Not entirely sure, or don’t want to tell me?”

He kicked off his shoes, pushing them under the coffee table with his toes. “I don’t know.” He looked genuinely confused. “I trust you?”

“You trust me?” I sputtered. “You don’t even know my last name.” And yet, that statement told me a lot about Greg. He wasn’t someone who trusted easily and preferred to keep sex unemotional. My guess was that he usually chose women he had little interest in outside of sex, just to keep things simpler.

“I don’t need to know your last name. I got everything I needed to know about you in the first five minutes last night. Names are just details.”

“And what did you learn about me that made you trust me when you clearly don’t usually trust anyone.”

He paused with his fingers on the fourth button of his shirt. “It started with your laugh. That was the whole reason I walked over, remember?”

My laugh. I wish I knew what it was about my laugh that intrigued him when it seemed so off-putting to others. My parents had called it “obnoxious”, Brandon referred to me as the “laughing hyena”. Even Natalie was embarrassed when she was younger. Now she just rolled her eyes.

“I just know,” he said, walking toward me. “I can tell by the way people hide certain things, what they brag about, where their eyes look. If you watch, you can learn a lot about people by what they say—or don’t say—as the case may be.”

“And I’m trustworthy?”

“Very.” He stopped in front of me. “And intelligent. And confident. And sexy.”

“I take it you find all these things to be good things?”

My question confused him, and that made me like him even more. “Why wouldn’t they be good things?”

“Haven’t you heard? Sexy, smart, confident women are the end of the world.”

He shook his head and looked at me like I was crazy. “You’ve been hanging out with the wrong people. Sexy, smart, confident women are the best women on Earth. And I am not intimidated, threatened, or put off by that in any way. In fact…I find it unbearably attractive.”

I took a slow steadying breath as the throbbing between my legs returned with a vengeance. The moment he got closer it was like my body came to life. I was very attracted to this man and all it took to turn me on was for him to stand near me.

“What happened to all that gruff swearing?” Somewhere between walking into the bedroom and now, Greg’s speech had changed from gruff to almost poetic.

He grinned. “Armor.”

“Armor?”

He shrugged just before sliding his hands onto my hips and pulling me closer. “It’s not an act. I am a swearing jackass. But there is more to me than that. I just don’t show it to most people.”

I didn’t know what Greg did for a living, where he was from, or what his hopes and dreams were, but I knew that he had something from his past that made him keep a distance from most people. It made him doubt their authenticity and keep barriers between him and anything that might hurt him.

And yet, for some reason, he’d let me through all of it.

All those careful barriers were there for a reason, and I was willing to bet it was because there was actually a quiet, intelligent, sexy guy hidden beneath the armor he wore. The people who needed the most armor were often the most vulnerable. They needed the extra layers of protection to survive a world that was pretty damn hell-bent on crushing anyone who actually cared.

I knew that because it was how I felt. I wasn’t a swearing, crass asshole, but I had my armor, too. I avoided men and relationships. I kept my circle of friends tight. I buried myself in my work.

And for some reason, I’d let Greg in.

“Kiss me,” I whispered.

His eyes immediately darted to my lips and then back to my eyes. He swallowed and gave me an almost imperceptible nod, before he slowly leaned down and pressed his lips against mine.

I’d never had a kiss like that. My bones, and everything else inside, turned to liquid. But not just any liquid—burning hot molten lava. The kind that looks black and cool on the surface, but is actually red hot and destructive underneath.

His hands tightened on my hips, pressing my body against his, holding me up when all I wanted to do was slip beneath the surface and be consumed by this kiss.

I opened my lips and pulled his lower lip between mine, sucking and dragging my teeth along the soft flesh. Greg groaned and tilted his head, sliding his tongue inside my mouth. We took our time, learning each other with each stroke and caress.

We let the kiss naturally progress into more. I finished unbuttoning his shirt, he slid my dress free of my shoulders, all while our lips stayed locked together. By the time his shirt was gone and my dress was on the floor, I felt like I knew exactly how Greg liked to be kissed and touched.

He tried to pull back, but I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him deeper. He chuckled and lifted me off the ground, leaving my dress behind, along with my shoes.

I liked being in his arms. I liked even more that it felt so natural to be held by him. “At some point,” he murmured against my lips, “you’re gonna have to let me take my pants off.”

“No,” I murmured back, shaking both our heads in the process. “I lied. I don’t want to have sex with you anymore. I just want to kiss…” He tensed and stopped kissing me. I opened my eyes to find him looking at me. “I’m kidding.”

“Oh.” Then he smiled. “That’s good, because I am much better at fucking than kissing.”

“I think you do a pretty fantastic job of kissing.”

“Then I’ll take it slow.” He set me down and finally stepped back. I thought I’d caught a hint of ink on his arm earlier, and now I saw that I was right. He had a tattoo that spanned his entire left shoulder and part of his back, along with another on his opposite side.

“You have tattoos.”

He glanced down at himself like he’d forgotten he had them. “Yeah.” And he left it at that. He stripped off his pants and disappeared into the bathroom. I could hear cabinets banging as he moved around the room.

The tattoo on his shoulder I understood. It was a roaring lion with an immense mane, but the one on his side was a mystery. It seemed to be a symbol with some writing inside, but the language was foreign to me. Like elvish or something like that. I’d never gotten into the Lord of the Rings and other fantasy books; I tended to be more of a mystery and suspense kind of girl. I liked things that happened in the real world, not made up ones.

“Condom.” He returned holding up the gray square before tearing off the end.

“Birth control,” I replied pointing at myself.

He nodded once and dropped his boxer briefs, revealing a rather impressive, fully erect cock.

My skin tingled with anticipation and I suddenly wished I didn’t have my panties and bra still on. It was keeping me from having him inside me.

I reached back and released my bra, and then hooked my thumbs in my thong and pushed them to the floor. When Greg looked up from rolling on the condom, I was completely naked.

That confidence I loved so much about myself—it was wavering big time. I took care of my body, but I was far from perfect. There were a few stretch marks on my hips and under my breasts. My stomach wasn’t completely flat and my thighs weren’t nearly as toned as I wished they’d be. I knew I looked good in clothes, but being naked was something else entirely and now, with my clothes gone and Greg standing in front of me, I suddenly wished I wasn’t so darn confident. I’d flung my clothes away not giving them a second thought, and now I had nothing to hide behind.

Greg must have seen my panic because he moved quickly in front of me, placing his hands back on my hips. “Are you cold? The thermostat is automatic and I think it has already dropped the temperature for the night.”

“No, I’m not cold.”

“You are very beautiful,” he said quickly, and then kissed me before anymore awkward conversation could escape from either of our lips.

My sudden lack of confidence was forgotten almost as fast as it appeared because once our naked bodies collided there was very little thinking that took place inside my head. Instead, I acted on pure heat-seeking missile instinct. I followed the needs of my body, and Greg responded to each one with a great deal of enthusiasm. I quickly learned that his dirty mouth was a very fun addition to sex.

Greg, the man of few words in public, had an awful lot to say in private.

“Oh my God, my dick is so happy right now. Fuck me, you are so hot and wet.”

I laughed and I sighed at the running stream of consciousness. His words had an amazing effect on me. They made me feel beautiful and brazen. I basked in each and every one of his curse-laden tirades, holding on to them like badges of honor. I bucked and moved, coaxing his cock into the places I liked it best. Slow wasn’t even remotely an option. By the time he was buried inside me, I was wild for more friction.

“Yeah, baby. You hold on to my ass and show me where you want me.”

And so I did. I dug my nails in as I tried unsuccessfully to catch my breath, telling him when to move faster and deeper, or when to slow to down.

“In, out. In, out. This feels so good. Damn good. I like the way your breasts hit my chest. You have a really nice rack, by the way.” He just kept talking. Narrating every action and thought that came into his head. “Oh, I like those sounds you’re making,” he growled as he nuzzled my neck and I realized that the sounds he was referring to were me moaning with each delicious thrust of his cock.

Was I always this loud and vocal? I certainly wasn’t when I was home alone taking care of myself, I knew that much. But while having sex? I wasn’t sure, but I didn’t think that I was. Something about Greg’s narration of sex was making me want to match him in some way. His words were a turn on to me, and I wanted my sounds to be a turn on to him.

And apparently, they were.

I hoped he had thick walls. I was getting louder, not quieter. At some point our conversation devolved into grunts and moans. He no longer seemed to be able to form words as our orgasms built. I, on the other hand, suddenly became the talker, moving from sounds to commands. “There! There…Do. Not. Move.” My leg was over his left shoulder, he was buried inside me, we were both covered in sweat—and I felt like a million bucks.

Greg’s mouth hung open as he fought for control over his body, doing precisely as I asked, holding himself still. I bit my lip and ground my hips against his firm body. My nails dug into the skin of his ass. He was my personal play thing and, I was quite sure, thoroughly pleased about it.

His eyes were locked onto mine, waiting for the next command. Pleading for my orgasm. I was right on the edge, desperate to feel it, too. I hadn’t had one during sex in so long, and I knew it was going to feel so good.

I flexed my fingers and Greg responded immediately, shifting upward and pressing against me. That was it. I arched up, throwing my head back as my orgasm tore threw me. Every muscle in my body flexed, my eyes closed, and I yelled out. I heard Greg groan.

As the waves inside my body began to subside, I started to rock against him again, coaxing him to finish, too. He leaned down and kissed a lazy trail of kisses up my shoulder, slowly moving in and out of me until I relaxed completely.

Then he took things up a notch. Thrusting into me hard, several times, before his jaw flexed, his shoulders bunched, and he buried himself inside me as he came.

9

Thank fuck. I thought she’d left last night. In fact, I remembered her leaving pretty damn clearly. But she was here—so soft. I pulled her closer and pushed my nose into her hair. Marie smelled good. It was weird how I’d never really noticed how women smelled before (unless it was some seriously obnoxious perfume), but with Marie it was like a blaring red sign. It was as much a part of her as the way she laughed and moaned.

And damn…those moans were gold.

My dick twitched to life and my hips automatically flexed towards her warmth—except there was nothing. No warmth, no body to press against. My eyes flew open and I stared at the grey pillow I was hugging like my life depended on it.

I’d dreamt my fucking pillow was Marie. Yeah…that could not be good. She’d definitely left an impression on me. I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling. Her scent was everywhere. It was on me, on the pillows and sheets…I was going to have to call Sally and have the apartment cleaned earlier than usual.

This was exactly why I never brought women home. It wasn’t nearly as clean a break as when we parted ways somewhere much more anonymous. Now I was going to smell her until Monday.

And remember the way she bit her lip in my doorway, looking strangely vulnerable despite being fairly kickass every other moment I’d known her. I’d remember the way she looked writhing on my sheets while I—

Okay. Maybe I needed to buy new sheets.

Yeah. I was going to go buy new sheets today. That would take care of most of my problem.

I decided it was smarter to shower and then run, so by the time I actually got out on the road it was warmer than usual. I texted Eve to ask where I should buy these new sheets I suddenly needed, and somehow that turned into a ten-minute phone call.

“Why do you sound out of breath?”

“Because I’m running.”

“Why are you talking on the phone while you’re running? Shouldn’t you be running?”

“Thank you Captain Obvious. That was why I texted you in the first place.”

She sighed, grumbling something about how a full-grown man should know where to buy sheets. “I just assumed if I was getting a text on a Saturday morning, requesting advice on fucking sheet shopping, that there had to be a story to go along with it.”

I didn’t reply.

“So there is a story…” she drawled.

I still didn’t answer. I knew it wasn’t going to get me anywhere, but I still held out a little hope Eve would let it drop.

“Tell me the fucking story!” she finally yelled into the phone.

I yanked my ear buds out and popped my ears. “Thanks for fucking blowing out my eardrums.” I stopped at the corner and carefully put them back in. “Could you possibly talk without making me deaf?”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“Story.”

“Fuck.”

She giggled. “You know we each owe Jake a drink now, right?”

“Fuck it.” Jake was sick of hearing us both say “fuck” all the time so he’d imposed a drink rule. Every time we said it more than two times in a conversation we had to buy him a drink. It was fucking stupid and annoying as shit. And the bastard had gotten at least a bottle of liquor out of each of us in the last month. “Fine.” I started down the next street and took a deep breath. There was only one person I’d ever be this girly and honest with, and that was Eve. “I met someone two nights ago. I offered to give her an orgasm, she turned me down.”

“So you shredded your sheets in misery?”

“No.” I replied flatly. “I went out to dinner last night with Chuck and the guys.”

“She was there?” Eve gasped.

“Yep.”

“And she didn’t say no twice?” Her voice went up a few octaves with each word in the sentence.

“No she didn’t.”

And then there was the gasp I was expecting as she put two-and-two together. “Wait…you took her home?” And then her voice dropped to a whisper. “Is she still there?”

“Of course not. But yes, I took her back to my place, thus the need for new sheets.”

“What kind of crazy sex did you two have? I mean, Jake and I have crazy sex, but we don’t need new sheets every time.”

I gagged thinking about my best friend and his wife doing it. Jake was like my brother and Eve was essentially the sister I never had. Thinking about them having sex was as gross as thinking about my parents doing it. “Thanks for the visual.”

“What? We’re adults. We can talk about this stuff.”

“Maybe I’m not nearly as evolved as you are.”

“Whatever,” she sighed. “Don’t you have a spare set you can use?”

“Have you seen my condo? Do I look like the kind of guy who keeps coordinating sheets around for the hell of it? Sally washes them once a week while she’s here. I don’t need a second set.”

“Says you,” she grumbled. “So you met someone who actually made you stop and think for a few seconds and now you need to exorcise her from your condo. Bed, Bath & Beyond at the mall should have what you need. I’d offer to help, but I need to have crazy sex with my husband.” There was a squeal in the background and the sound of Jake’s voice in the distance as Eve’s giggle disappeared from the line.

I was always a little jealous of those two. They had fun together, they understood each other. I was really happy for both of them, but sometimes I got that same ache in my chest that I got when I thought about Jenn. I was having it right then, so I ran faster.

It didn’t help the ache.

I got back home and jumped in the shower for the second time that morning. As the water beat my shoulder muscles, I did what I knew I had to do. I let myself remember Jenn. I’d fought it as hard and as long as I could, and I’d lost again. Not that I minded losing, but sometimes the pain was overwhelming.

We would have both been thirty-six this year. It would have been our fourteenth wedding anniversary if we’d made it to our wedding date. We might have had kids.

It was the “would have’s” and “might of’s” that always broke me.

She deserved to live a full life, instead it was cut short.

I studied the scar on my wrist as the water washed over it, almost making it invisible.

Almost, but not quite.

Just like Jenn. She was almost invisible to me most days, but never gone. She was always there, and she always would be.

I’d made so many choices as a reaction to the night our car ended up wrapped around a tree. I’d run away and spent most of my adult life in the desert. I’d hidden from friendships and both of our families.

Until I met Jake. It was the first time I’d met someone more screwed up, more in love, and more regretful than me. He fascinated me. But there was something else. I could see his life so clearly. I knew what he needed to do, and how easy it would be for him to do it, even though he couldn’t see it for himself. It seemed so dumb to me—until I realized he was me. I couldn’t see my own life or the choices I had in front of me, either.

We were equally blinded by our regrets and doubts. I wasn’t ready to help myself, but I knew I could help him. I took Jake under my wing and helped him in all the ways I wasn’t ready to face my own life yet. Call it “living vicariously” if you will.

And then I met this woman who was the love of Jake’s life and fell in love with her, too. Not in the same way—I wasn’t attracted to Eve or romantically in love with her. But we instantly bonded over our shared love for Jake. We both wanted him to have a good life, and as we banded together to help him, I found a little bit of happiness for myself.

Jake and Eve were kind of my fantasy. I could look at them and imagine what my life might have been like if Jenn hadn’t died. We would be happily married. We would have an enormous library in our house. We would be thinking about the future.

I think I’d gravitated toward them—and stayed here in Tampa even after they got married—for that reason. I loved Eve like a sister, but I also loved that she reminded me of Jenn when we were kids. Not just the books, but the attitude. Eve always called me on my shit and could keep up with me in conversations—just like Jenn.

So, in a strange way, I loved having Eve in my life because she was a constant reminder of the good times. It kind of helped keep the happy memories alive.

It was the bad memories I kept avoiding. And those were the ones that were haunting me now.

I finished up in the shower and hoped my short walk down memory lane would be enough to get me through the rest of the weekend. The ache in my chest was still there, but it was fading. I made my trip to the mall for new sheets and threw away my old ones.

I didn’t even want to wash them. I never wanted to see them again. I had enough trouble with memories; I didn’t need sheets reminding me of yet another woman.

Then I watched some baseball while working in front of the television. It was getting dark before I realized I needed food for dinner. As usual it had slipped my mind to do any grocery shopping for the weekend.

Maybe I needed to start having Sally do my shopping, too. Domestically, I was apparently a complete lost cause. I didn’t know where to buy sheets and I couldn’t be trusted to buy food.

I grabbed my keys and headed out the door.

10

Since I was going to spend the entirety of my Sunday flying to and from New York, I decided to raid the grocery store and stock up for the coming week before I settled in for my quiet Saturday night alone. I’d gone out. I’d socialized. I’d had a one-night stand. It was time to spend an evening in my pajamas, reading books, and drinking a bottle of wine.

But damn, what a one-night stand. I didn’t regret a thing about it. We’d been safe, Greg had been very nice, and the sex had been fantastic. He’d been very careful to make sure I was taken care of from a thoroughly satisfying orgasm to a taxi home. I’d gone home with a smile on my face and a renewed energy about my life. I was going to step out from behind this armor I’d been hiding behind and figure out what it was I really wanted for the next ten years. I’d told Natalie I didn’t need a love life, but I think I’d been wrong. I didn’t need a husband—a love life wasn’t the same thing. I just needed to figure out what was acceptable for me now, and as Natalie got older. But first, I needed food.

So here I was, at the grocery store. It seemed like such a simple thing to do: grab some food, a few toiletries, and some household items. But then I ran into him.

Like, actually ran into him. With my cart. On the cereal aisle. Somehow I’d managed to shop my entire life—sleep deprived early years of motherhood included—without running into a single human being. But I was so distracted by all the random thoughts flying through my head, and the store was so eerily quiet on a Saturday night, that I wasn’t paying attention to anything I was doing. I had my ear buds in, listening to the latest One Republic song, lost in my head, and came around the corner, right into Greg.

He stumbled backward a half step, throwing his hands in the air. In one he had a box of Fruit Loops, in the other he had a tray of premade sushi. He was wearing a white t-shirt and faded blue jeans, his hair was fantastically mussed, and his beard was thicker than the night before. I couldn’t hear what he was saying because of the music, but the words on his lips were pretty easy to read: Fuck. Watch where you’re going!

I stopped and smiled while I waited for him to recognize me. His eyes widened and he dropped his hands to his sides. I chuckled and pulled out my ear buds. “Sorry.”

“What are you doing here?”

I looked at the boxes of cereal beside us. “Shopping?”

“Obviously you’re shopping. Why are you in this store?”

“You mean, why are you in my store, right?”

He sputtered and shook his head. “No, this is my store.”

We must have different schedules because in all the years I’d shopped at that grocery store, I’d never once seen Greg. It did make sense though. This little store was my favorite and it was close to work…it was also the closest one to Greg’s condo. If I were to guess, Greg usually shopped at times like this—times I was usually at home with Natalie. “Mr. Hamilton, it appears we’ve been missing each other for quite a while.” And now we couldn’t seem to stop crossing paths.

“You know what this means, right?” He peered into my cart.

I hadn’t had a chance to get much more than produce yet, so there were no secrets to be had in my cart. “No, I don’t know what this means.”

“It means you need to come home with me again.” He looked at me intently. He was serious. It made that part of me that loved to figure people out go a little wild. Greg was so confusing to me. He was a nice guy, he took me home when he never took women back to his home, and now he was asking me to come back again, and that was making me incredibly curious.

“I thought we agreed to one night.”

It was strange how in the florescent light of a store, dressed in an old shirt and jeans, he was every bit as handsome as he’d been in the bar and at the restaurant. Actually, he was hotter. This more relaxed Greg was another dimension. He was a little more casual looking, and that made him seem less like a dream and more like a real person.

He cocked his head to the side and looked me up and down. “Do you always follow the rules?”

“Not always. But I do usually stick to my promises.”

He straightened up, pulling himself up to his full height. Somehow it made his shoulders seem broader and his muscles look fuller. My belly fluttered as desire flooded my veins. Damn it all…I wanted Greg to seduce me again.

“I didn’t realize we were making promises that night.”

“What were we doing then?”

He moved beside me, effectively blocking off the aisle from anyone else, leaned in toward my ear and whispered, “Indulging in opportunity.”

The words vibrated across my skin. Greg was the ultimate indulgence. A dangerous guilty pleasure. Well, maybe that wasn’t the right word, because he was all pleasure and there was absolutely no guilt that went along with that. “I’m an indulgence?”

I saw him swallow. His Adam’s apple bobbed, drawing my attention to the vein pulsing in his neck. “I think you are,” he whispered. “You can’t possibly be healthy for me.”

“That’s a terrible line,” I chastised him.

Greg smiled and his eyes flashed. “But it was so good. You’ve got to give me credit for that, c’mon.”

I shook my head and then shivered as he ran his fingertips up my arm. “It’s a Saturday night and we clearly don’t have any major plans for the evening. Come home with me one more time. I swear I’ll run in the opposite direction if I ever see you again.” He crossed his heart with his index finger.

“I’m gonna have to start shopping in a different store,” I grumbled.

“Is that a yes?”

I glanced at the fruit and vegetables in my cart. I could abandon them, just this once. “One more time. That’s it.”

He grabbed my hand. “You like sushi and fruit loops, right?”

“I do.”

“Good.” It took two minutes to check out and walk out into the parking lot. The sky had turned dark and angry while we were inside. The early hints of summer were in the air as it whipped through the parking lot, sending leaves and abandoned garbage flying. In the distance, thunder rumbled, promising there was a lot more wind and rain to come. “Follow me?”

I nodded, pulling out my keys and unlocking my car. I spotted Greg’s red Porsche on the next aisle. He would be easy to follow in that thing.

The drive only took a few minutes, but it was pouring by the time we reached his condo. He slid into his spot in the garage and waved me into the empty space bedside it. Luckily he seemed to have very few things, so his tiny two-car garage had enough room for both of us.

As I stepped out of the car, Greg hit the button to lower the garage door. Rain was coming in sideways by that point and sprinkled me from the waist down.

I looked up at Greg standing by the door. I was back.

When I left in a taxi last night I was positive I’d never see Greg again. And now here I was, walking back into his apartment. This was too much of a coincidence, and yet, I couldn’t explain it. We’d been living minutes away from each other all this time, I’d never seen him before, and now…I couldn’t stop running into him.

The universe was playing tricks on me. I was certain of it.

“I’ll get you a towel,” he murmured as I shut the door and set my purse down on the kitchen counter. The picture windows were a perfect viewing spot for the rain and lightning—like a massive IMAX movie screen, except this was real life.

“Here.” He shoved the bath towel into my hand.

“Thanks.”

I sat on a stool and toweled off while Greg opened the refrigerator and pulled out two different bottles of beer. “Either of these strike your fancy?”

“Fat Tire works for me.”

He placed both beers on the counter, then popped off the lids and poured them into glasses he had pulled out of the freezer. While I took a sip, Greg opened up the tray of sushi. “How do you like to eat it? I usually just pour the soy packet over everything and eat with my fingers.”

I shrugged. “Works for me. And Fruit Loops will be an excellent post-sex dessert.”

Greg grinned and tore open the packet. We devoured the sushi like a couple of starved lions and finished our drinks before we said another word. “Bedroom?”

I got the feeling Greg was a little afraid of opening another can of worms. If we sat at the counter and made small talk, it would lead to more talking—not that talking wasn’t fun, because it was. Greg had a way about him—between the cursing and the grunting—that made any conversation entertaining.

But that also made our one little night of fun into a lot more.

“Bedroom.” I agreed.

He nodded and stalked off down the hall, not even bothering to grab my hand. He was tense. His muscles were rigid, his jaw was flexing…and now he was stalking. I was making him nervous, and that made me feel pretty damn sexy.

I sauntered slowly down the hall, feeling my confidence swell. Loose v-neck t-shirt and jeans could be just as sexy as any cocktail dress. It wasn’t the fabric or the cut, it was the person under the clothes that made them sexy. I knew that because it was how I saw Greg. He was sexy as sin in those suits of his, but right now, in his t-shirt and jeans, all I could think about was how damn manly he looked.

He walked right up to the bed and turned around, waiting for me to join him.

“Your bed is different.”

He scowled. “No it isn’t.”

“Yes it is.” I studied it for a moment, trying to figure out what was different. It looked sterile. Much less inviting than it had the night before. “It’s the sheets. You changed the sheets.”

He grunted. “So?”

I shrugged. Why was he so upset that I’d noticed his stupid sheets. “Nothing. Never mind.”

“They’re just stupid fucking sheets,” he muttered under his breath and yanked his shirt over his head. “Do you want to redecorate my condo or have sex?”

His condo could really use some attention, but it wasn’t my place to tell Greg that. “Let’s have the sex.”

11

It really wasn’t her fault I needed new sheets. Well, it was. But it was me who had the problem with the sheets. It wasn’t her fault that I apparently couldn’t handle the smell of a woman on my sheets, even after all these years.

I felt bad for the way I snapped when she pointed them out. But fuck. She noticed. Who notices sheets? It made me feel even stupider for changing them.

I needed to stop thinking about the damn sheets.

Boobs.

Her shirt was off, the bra was gone, and that gorgeous rack was on full display. Her nipples did this thing to my brain that made it stop working. She had perfect, and I do mean perfect, nipples. Pink, round buds that I swear to you, beg me to suck and lick them. Bulls have the color red, men have nipples—and hers were all I could think about.

The breasts that went with them were quite nice as well. A very generous handful and a very attractive teardrop shape.

“Like what you see?” she asked.

“How can you tell?”

She smiled and her eyes dropped to my pants. I followed her gaze to the rather obvious erection holding my pants out.

“Just a wild guess.”

I shrugged and unbuttoned my jeans. “I don’t think it’s a secret that I’m attracted to you.”

She tossed her jeans to the side and stood there in her underwear. “I’m pretty attracted to you, too. You can’t see my lady boner from here, but—”

She sucked in a gasp as I wrapped one arm around her waist and slid my other between her legs, under her underwear and against her pussy. “I can tell how turned on you are from here, though.” I had to work hard to control my breathing as my fingers sank right inside her. She was so fucking wet it wasn’t right. Hot, slick, and so ready for me.

My dick started to throb. It wanted inside her, too.

It was like her body was slowly reprogramming my brain. I didn’t feel like myself when we were naked together. Her nipples hypnotized me and then got to work. It was the damn nipples. I was going to have to watch out for those suckers, because as bad as my dick wanted inside her, so did my fingers and tongue. I wanted to taste her, feel her, make her come over and over.

Normally I made sure whoever I was with was satisfied, but that was as much out of common courtesy as it was anything else. This, was something else entirely. It was need and desire to possess and please. It was carnal—that if I somehow couldn’t please this woman in particular, then I was a failure as a man.

So I let my fingers have the first round. Her breath was heavy and ragged as I held her against me, exploring her, getting off on the little moans and the way her eyelids struggled to stay open because of my touch.

When her chest started to rise and fall faster than she seemed to be able to catch her breath, I stopped. The glare she gave me told me that she was hungry for more, and a little bit pissed that I’d stopped.

“Don’t look at me like that, beautiful. I promise you’ll like what I’m going to do next.”

Her eyes softened and fluttered. “How is it possible for you to do what you just did, and not utter a single dirty word?”

I tried really hard not to blush. I didn’t even realize it, but I’d done it again. I’d forgotten everything except her, and put down my façade. “I’ll make up for it, I promise.”

I took my time sliding her panties down her long, toned legs before directing her backward onto my bed where I kneeled in front of her and let my tongue finally have its turn.

She tasted like candy and her hips rolled with each flick of my tongue. She liked it when I sucked, but she liked it even more when I licked inside her. I knew this because she told me with every gasp and groan. This woman had absolutely no trouble vocalizing how good I made her feel. So I rewarded her by giving her exactly what she wanted. I sucked and licked until her entire body quivered. I coaxed her on until she came like a river.

Then I turned my dirty mouth back on. “Do you know what you sound like when you come?”

I prowled over the top of her. She was liquid beneath me. I could probably do anything I wanted right then and she’d let me. “No,” she whispered and forced her eyes open to look at me. “And I don’t think I want to. It would ruin the experience.”

“Oh baby…it is the experience. Your sounds are so hot they could almost make me come without you ever touching me.” I nudged my cock against that liquid warmth I was craving so badly.

“Condom,” she gasped before I could do anything else.

“Shit. Yeah, sorry.” I was an idiot for forgetting. Not that I was surprised with hypno nipples and candy pussy. My mind was a lost cause. At least she was thinking straight.

I ran to the bathroom and put that condom on at lightning speed. It would have been cool to have one of those baseball radar guns to see just how fast I moved.

“Back. Sheathed. Ready.”

She spread her legs, put her hands on my shoulders, and pulled me toward her. “I want to hear you talk.”

“Really? It’s not too much?”

She shook her head slowly. “It’s hot.”

And now I needed to add “siren” to the list, because apparently, when she spoke—no matter what it was—I was a slave to her words. “Well then, you should know that you are one fucking sexy woman and I cannot wait to have my dick inside you.”

She swallowed and her lips parted just enough for me to see her tongue run along the inside of her lower lip. Damn. My words did turn her on. I buried my face between her breasts thinking that looking away from her eyes was going to help, but it didn’t. It just put me right where I wanted to be. I kissed the softness of the inside of each breast before taking one nipple, and then the other, into my mouth. She moaned and I couldn’t wait another minute. I rocked my hips up toward her heat until the tip of my dick hit her warmth.

I moved on automatic from there. Fingers tensing and massaging, hips thrusting, mouth running. “Yeah, yeah…push like that, right there. Fuck.” My arms gave out a little, but I caught myself. “You are a dangerous woman. Can I fuck you harder?”

“Please.”

I groaned as I slammed into her and she arched up, moaning. “You needy little thing. You want me to fuck you harder. You’ve been holding out on me haven’t you?”

“Maybe.” Her fingers curled into the hair at the nape of my neck.

“What about now? Is that hard enough?”

She shuddered a little, her eyes rolling back in her head. “Might be too hard.”

I backed off. “What about faster? I like the way it feels when you’re all over me all at once.”

“Yes,” she nodded quickly, “faster.”

My elbows sank into the bed beside her head as I pumped fast, but not too hard. “I’m gonna come so hard like this. Your boobs, oh God, I like the way they move when we do this.” I bit my lips as I watched them bounce up and down, the hypno-nipples forcing me to keep looking. It also gave me a great vantage point to watch my dick moving and in and out of her gorgeous pussy. Visual stimulation all over the place. “Fuck, that’s hot looking.”

She looked down and smiled before letting her head slam back on the pillow, arching her nipples up into my mouth. “Pretty nice view.”

“Not as good as mine,” I mumbled against her breast as her nipples moved in and out of my lips with each rock of my hips. “Oh shit, that’s it. Yep, right there. Oh God, don’t move, fuck, fuck, fuck, I’m coming.”

Like electricity shooting through my veins and out my dick, I came hard and fast, thrusting up and inside her one last time, burying myself as deep as I could go, and stopped.

“Hot, wet, throbbing, tight perfection.”

That was when I realized she was still rocking her hips against me and that tightness wasn’t just her perfect pussy, it was her coming again. Her inner muscles were squeezing the ever living fuck out of my cock. And it felt so good.

“Oh, yeah. That’s it.” I jerked into her, not really moving my dick, but pressing my body and hips firmly against her, giving her that little bit of pressure she needed to finish off her orgasm.

I wanted to do that again. Like, immediately. Sex with Marie was fun, especially if it was like that every time.

And then I realized that after tonight, I really wasn’t ever going to see her again.

Fuck.

12

I needed to go. It was already much later than I planned on staying, and my flight to New York was in the morning. And yet, I wanted to stay. I wanted to simply close my eyes and fall asleep just as I was: naked and satisfied. Greg’s bed was entirely too comfortable despite my initial reaction to seeing it. The stark white sheets and simple grey comforter were actually the softest fabrics. They were plain, but oh so inviting.

I needed to go.

“Hey,” Greg cleared his throat and touched my elbow as I rolled away. “Where are you going?”

I glanced back over my shoulder. “To get dressed and head home.”

He frowned. “It’s pouring rain out there. It would be stupid to try and drive home in this.”

“It’s Florida. It rains like this all the time. If I stayed where I was every time it was raining I’d never go anywhere.” But I doubted my own words even as I was saying them. It wasn’t just any thunderstorm raging outside, it was a doozy. The wind was pretty bad and the rain was heavy, which would make the streets dangerous and the visibility next to zero. I’d driven in storms like this plenty of times, but it was a risk I didn’t have to take. Not when there was a warm bed for me to sleep in right here.

“Marie, don’t be ridiculous. It isn’t safe out there. I don’t bite…” He had a cocky grin now. He was completely full of himself and, damnit, I really liked that about him.

“We kind of suck at this ‘fun and done’ stuff.”

He grabbed my hand and yanked me back onto the bed before rolling himself on top of me. “I’m okay with that.” Then his smile disappeared, replaced with a look of concern. “Unless you’re not.”

“Honestly? I’m not sure what I feel.” I wanted to walk away and never look back. To let this be a fun little weekend I gave myself. But every time Greg pulled me back, it was harder to leave. And that wasn’t a good sign.

Greg moved off me immediately. “What do you mean?”

And now we were talking again. We really, really sucked at this. I sighed and rolled up onto my elbow so I could look at him. “I am quite happy with the sex. And I really would prefer to stay right here. That storm looks like hell.”

“But?” His voice had this way of expressing far more than a simple word. It dripped with doubt and a thousand barriers I could only guess at. It was rough and rude and sexy and dismissive, all while being worried.

“But I don’t want to complicate things. Or confuse them.”

He shrugged. “So don’t let it.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that.”

I was pretty sure Greg was far more confident in his ability to walk away from a night together than I was. “Okay then…”

“So you’ll stay?” He nudged my shoulder and rolled back on top of me. “I promise to make breakfast. Well, bagels. That’s all I can actually make.” A very impressive flash of lightning lit up the room and was immediately followed by a boom of thunder that shook the condo. “You are definitely staying.”

I smiled. “Did I ever tell you how much I love thunderstorms?”

Greg swallowed and took a shaky breath. “Is that so?”

I rocked up my hips until I found the hard length of his cock. “Yep.”

* * *

Sunday went by in a blur of planes and airports, and Monday was over before I had a chance to think. Work was intense and I barely had time to eat lunch, let alone bask in the glory of my unexpected affair. I just wanted to grab Natalie and get home, put on my workout clothes, and sweat off the day before I had to make dinner.

I wanted to get on my treadmill and get lost in some music. Preferably while going through my weekend moment by moment and dissecting it for every last shred of information I could muster. I wanted to decide which stuff to remember, and which stuff I needed to quickly forget.

Natalie came bounding out as I pulled up to the curb, her school sweater hanging off one shoulder and her bangs pinned back. She looked like a strange hybrid—trapped somewhere between childhood and adulthood. At any given moment she looked young and helpless, or grown-up and capable. But at this particular moment, she was mostly childlike.

She opened the back door and tossed in her backpack with a grunt. “I swear it gets heavier every day. Maybe the ink and dirt is accumulating enough mass to actually add weight to my books.”

I rolled my eyes. Leave it to Natalie to come up with an excuse like that. “How was your day?”

“Good.” She threw herself into the front seat and leaned back, but didn’t buckle her seatbelt.

“What?” Something was bugging my daughter. I could see it in the dullness of her eyes and slight frown at the corner of her lips.

She shrugged. “We’re reading Romeo and Juliet at school this week.”

“So?”

She huffed as if I were asking her the world’s dumbest question. “So, I don’t want to. I’ve already read it and it’s stupid! Two idiots fall in love and kill themselves. It’s a dumb story!”

“And what would you prefer to read, my dear?” Knowing Natalie, she wasn’t really upset with analyzing Shakespeare; it was irritation at her homework keeping her from reading the book she really wanted to read.

“If I have to read a love story, I’d rather read Their Eyes Were Watching God.”

Now I sighed with exasperation. “You’re ridiculous. How do you even understand that book? You’re thirteen.”

“Just because I’ve never fallen in love doesn’t mean I can’t empathize with the struggles of the characters.”

“Or the time period, cultural differences, not to mention the language in the book.”

Natalie crossed her arms and scowled. “You sound just like Greg!”

Greg?

I’d never heard my daughter mention that name before. Maybe it was a boy at school. It had to be a ridiculous coincidence. I was only noticing it because of my own recent experiences with my Greg. “Who is Greg?” I asked carefully.

“The guy who makes fun of my books every day at Grace’s.”

It was a coincidence. I knew there was a guy who Grace said gave Natalie a run for her money every afternoon, teasing her about reading books too advanced for age, and debating the subject material with her. I just always assumed it was an English professor from one of the colleges, or a high school English teacher from a different school. There was absolutely no way on Earth that foul-mouthed, sexy man I’d just spent the weekend with was the same man.

“Who?”

Natalie rolled her eyes and sighed. “You know…the guy? He comes in every afternoon for his café con leche and a chocolate chip cookie. He asks me what I’m reading and teases me for reading adult books.” Natalie shrugged. “It’s actually kind of fun because he knows what he’s talking about. He asks me real questions. He doesn’t patronize me, like some people.”

No. It was a coincidence. “I forgot I need to ask Grace a quick question. You stay here.” I didn’t wait for Natalie to reply. I just hopped out of the car and straight across the sidewalk to the front door—and straight into the firm, solid chest of Greg Hamilton. My Greg Hamilton.

He held up his coffee with one hand and grabbed my elbow with the other, steadying us both. “Hey, watch out for the rest of us, will ya?” Then he sucked in a breath. “You again? We have to stop meeting like this.”

No, no, no, no! How was this even possible? I pulled back feeling entirely too close to a man who I was never supposed to see again. I’d never seen him before Thursday night, and now here he was showing up all over my life. “You’re Greg?” The world spun a little.

I felt nauseous.

He stepped back into the shade of the canopy and gave me a look. “I thought we’d established that pretty early on this weekend.”

I shook my head, not in the mood for jokes or games. “You’re the Greg who comes into my best friend’s coffee shop every day and talks to my daughter about her books?”

His face fell and his blue eyes widened. “You have a daughter?”

“Oh no. No, no, no, no. This isn’t happening.” I rubbed my forehead.

Greg turned white. “Marie, I really think you must—”

But then Natalie hopped out of the car with her mouth open and her eyes wide with curiosity. “Mom?”

We both turned to stare at my daughter as she stood on the sidewalk, looking back and forth between us.

“Do you know Greg?” she furrowed her brow and cocked her head to the side—while I felt like the entire world was suddenly spinning out of control.

What the hell was happening?

Greg chuckled and shook his head as he looked down at me. His eyes were softer than I’d seen them all weekend. The confusion and doubt weren’t there anymore—like everything that wasn’t making any sense to me, made perfect sense to him.

“Well, isn’t this fucking interesting?” he grinned.

13

“I can’t believe this,” I muttered for the hundredth time in the last twenty minutes. Marie kept pacing back and forth across the tiny side room Grace used for private parties. There was a little window into the coffee shop and I could see Grace trying to keep Natalie distracted.

It wasn’t working, not even a little bit. Natalie’s eyes were glued to her mother. They were a different color, but exactly the same.

“How?” Marie stopped and stared at me. She’d asked that question about a hundred times, too. It was like we were both stuck in a loop we couldn’t escape.

I leaned against the table and crossed my arms. “It’s pretty fucking crazy but it happens. We live in the same town—we were bound to know some of the same people.”

Marie’s eyebrows shot up and she waved her hands at the window. “This isn’t like my new neighbor turning out to be my sister’s best friend from middle school. This is a complete stranger having a life that was an inch away from mine for a year! How have we not met before?”

“You’re never here,” I said. It was really that simple. I came in for five minutes every day. In those five minutes she was always at work. We’d been nearly missing each other for months and I had a feeling if we started comparing notes, those near misses would only grow.

Marie glared at me. She looked like she wanted to strangle me, so she crossed her arms instead. “What are we going to do?”

“If you stop freaking the fuck out we can talk about that.” I was waiting patiently for her to move through the stages of panic, but my patience was running out. It was seriously time to get our shit together.

She narrowed those gorgeous blue eyes at me and ground her teeth. She was actually pretty damn hot when she was angry. “I am not ‘freaking the fuck out,’ I’m losing my shit. Get your semantics straight.”

I liked that she was funny even when she was angry. “I apologize. I don’t think I knew there was a difference.”

“Well there is,” she huffed and pushed a loose piece of hair behind her ear. She looked hot. Did she ever not look hot? Cocktail dresses, t-shirts, jeans, and now a fucking sexy-as-hell pencil skirt and blouse. I was trying very hard to focus on the fact that we were in a situation neither of us expected or wanted, and not on the idea of sliding that skirt up her thighs until I could see what panties she was wearing.

“This doesn’t change things,” I said quietly. At least it didn’t have to.

“How can this not change things, Greg? I think we were both pretty clear. You don’t do relationships and I…well, I don’t either. I wanted a quick, easy, anonymous fun weekend.”

“And what about what I want. Does that matter?” I got what Marie was saying, but I didn’t like the way she dismissed me and cut me out of the equation. Sure I admitted to having casual encounters, but that didn’t give her the right to decide it was who I was now. Or that I’d want something else.

She stared at me. “Of course it matters. What do you want?”

“This isn’t a business meeting, you know. You can’t simplify everything.”

“I’m not simplifying. I’m just,” she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I watched the rise and fall of her chest. “I need you to tell me what you think.”

What did I think? “I’m not going to bite, for one. Just because you know me in real life doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world.”

She didn’t reply right away, but she did blink a lot. “I’m sorry if I insulted you. I just really didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”

“Yeah, I got that.” There was something in the way she said that. She was breathless. She was turned on. “Marie?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you want to see me again?”

She swallowed and I noticed the way the vein in her neck pulsed like her heart was beating really fast. My heart was beating hard. That was when it hit me. I wanted to see her again. I genuinely wanted to see her. Not just my dick and not just because I wanted a repeat of what happened this weekend.

I missed her.

Suddenly I was the one pacing back and forth. I couldn’t fucking breathe. When had the room gotten so damn hot and stuffy?

I wanted to see Marie again.

I hated it when she left, and Sunday had been complete shit. Nothing made me happy and I was more restless than ever. I thought I could get her out of my system and move on, but now that she was standing in front of me and I knew who she was, I wasn’t ever going to be able to forget about her. It was like dangling bait in front a fish. I could see the hook, I knew the damn thing was there to catch me, but I was sure as hell gonna take a chance anyway.

“Greg?”

I stopped near the far wall and turned to face her. “Yeah?”

“Do you want to see me again?”

“Maybe.” It was the truth. I couldn’t say no, but I sure as hell wasn’t ready to say yes.

I think the color drained out of her face because she suddenly looked really white. I never thought that was actually a thing, but now that I was seeing it happen right in front of me, I realized it wasn’t just an expression.

Shit, was she gonna faint? I moved quickly, grabbing her elbow just as her knees gave out, and pulled her into my arms. That was probably the wrong move because now I couldn’t ignore how I was responding to her. Just being close to her was making me feel different. Like alcohol, but deeper.

“Marie, are you okay?”

She shook her head. “Do I look okay?”

“No. What do you need? Water? Air? For me to leave?” Please don’t say the last one.

“I need to sit.”

I pulled out a chair and helped her down. After a minute and a couple of breaths she looked up. A little bit of her color was back, but not a lot. What the hell was going through that gorgeous, brilliant mind of hers?

“I can’t see you again.”

That hurt. That really fucking hurt. So much more than I ever thought it could. Especially from a woman I barely knew. “Why is that?”

“Natalie is the most important thing in the world. She comes first. And that means my job, my schedule, and my reputation, are all incredibly important. They are what make it possible for me to send her to the best schools, give her everything she needs, and make sure she has the best childhood I can possibly give her.” She took a deep breath. “It’s complicated, but the bottom line, Greg? There are no ‘maybe’s’ in my world. I can’t afford them. This weekend was fun, but it needs to end there.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” I put up my hands. Why did it sound an awful lot like I was being dumped? “Why can’t we just see where this goes?” It sounded like a mighty fine idea to me. I could wine and dine her. I’d never really done it to a woman before…usually it was just clients or people I needed to screw over…but I had the skills. We could date and fuck and have fun until we figured things out.

But Marie shook her head and stood up. There was fear in her eyes. Regret, guilt, and fear. I didn’t like that look at all, but I didn’t know why it was there or what to do about it.

“I can’t.” She walked to the door. I was frozen. I think I was in shock. What the fuck was happening? “I won’t change anything. You and Natalie can still talk about books, but please stay away from me.”

She didn’t wait for me to reply, which was good because I didn’t have one. I was too stunned. I had no idea what had just happened, but I was pretty sure I was going to regret letting Marie walk out that door.

* * *

My office door flew open and Jake grabbed the tennis ball I was throwing just before it hit the wall. Then he glared at me as he held up the neon green ball. “This shit has got to stop.”

“I throw the ball all the time.”

“For five minutes. It’s annoying, but whatever. This has been going on for an hour.” Then he threw the ball back at me and sat down on my black leather couch. Jake was my business partner, best friend, and the very reason I had moved to this godforsaken town. He was far too tall for the little office couch and his knees were actually higher than his hips as he slouched against the back and let his head rest against the wall. “What’s going on?”

I shrugged and started tossing the ball back and forth between my hands. It wasn’t nearly as satisfying as throwing it at the wall. “Nothing. I’m just bored.”

“Bull. Shit. Is it work?”

“No.”

Jake’s eyes narrowed on me and I knew I was screwed. “Is it the sheet chick?”

Why did I call Eve? Of course Jake knew all about the woman that made me buy new sheets. “I ran into her again yesterday.”

“Again? How many times have you run into her?”

“That would make four.”

Jake grinned like The Joker. It looked stupid on him. “It’s about damn time you met a woman that made you destroy perfectly good sheets and throw a ball at the wall.”

“Doesn’t matter. We’re done.”

Jake cocked an eyebrow. “You sure as shit don’t look done.”

I shrugged. “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.”

“Never compare women to animals,” Jake admonished. “Give me the basics. What happened and why do you think she doesn’t want to fuck you anymore?”

I gave him the quick and dirty on how we kept running into each other, that she was brilliant and drank whiskey, and how great the sex was.

“Does she have a name?”

“Marie Bancroft—at least I think it’s Bancroft—I know it’s Marie.” Jake gave me a funny look, but didn’t explain. It didn’t matter. None of it mattered. “She asked me to stay away. She was pretty damn clear about it.”

“So you finally met a woman…never thought I’d see the day.”

I didn’t answer. It was hard to explain how that statement made me feel. There was a reason there were never women in my life—I didn’t want anyone. I’d already fallen in love once.

There were no other women.

“I take it this Marie is more than just good in bed. You talk?”

I nodded. “I think she’s actually too smart for me. She talked me under the table.” Definitely too smart for me.

“And drank you under the table,” he pointed out. “I know how you feel about your whiskey.”

Yeah, I liked drinking with Marie. She was feisty. She kept up. She was mysterious. I liked all of those things very much. “I have definitely never met anyone quite like her. Or her daughter.”

“Her daughter?” Jake sat up straight.

I wasn’t surprised. I mean, really? Me and anyone was a stretch, but me and someone who had a kid?

“Yeah, that’s the kicker. I ran into her because I’ve been picking up coffee everyday on the way home. Turns out the kid that’s always there is Marie’s daughter. Cute kid, very smart.”

Jake did that thing where he was quiet while a thousand thoughts flew through his brilliant head. It was a great trait to have in a lead engineer, not so great in a buddy. The last thing I needed was for Jake to think about my personal life. I wasn’t ready for that.

I needed a helluva lot more time to prepare for that.

He suddenly stood up. “Dinner at our house this weekend. Eve will know how to cheer your sad ass up.”

That was unexpected. “Okay. Saturday?”

Jake shrugged. “I’ll have Eve call you. But probably.”

I swear he was hiding something from me. I’d known him for a lot of years, seen him go through a lot and if there was one thing I knew, it was when Jake was lying—but I had no fucking clue what the hell he could possibly be lying about so I chalked it up to an overactive imagination brought on by being dumped for the first time.

“Okay. Sounds like a plan.” I shoved my tennis ball back into my desk drawer. “And I’ll try to keep it quiet.”

Jake grinned as he pulled the door. “It’s okay. I’ll give you a free pass this week.”

He was definitely up to something. I just wasn’t sure what. Or why. Or maybe he was just trying to distract me. It sure as hell wasn’t working if that was it.

14

“So…are we gonna talk about this, or are you seriously going to pretend that the whole Greg thing never happened?” Grace had come over for dinner and we were now standing at the counter carefully emptying a bottle of wine one glass at a time while Natalie sat at the table doing her homework with her headphones on.

“I still don’t know if I understand what happened.”

“So start at the beginning.”

I bit my lip and stared at the wine. Maybe there were answers in the red liquid. No?

“Thursday night at the bar, while you were in the bathroom—”

“Whoa. Wait. The reason you dragged me out of there was Greg? You told me some sleazy dude hit on you and you didn’t feel good!”

“Okay, so I lied a little to get out of there. I panicked. Greg offered me an orgasm and I wanted it. That wasn’t sane or logical. I stretched the truth because I knew if I told you a hot guy had hit on me you’d make me stay and flirt back.”

“So wait. You met him Thursday night. And again Friday night? Am I getting this right?”

I nodded. “I figured once was once, but twice…I probably shouldn’t pass it up,” I glanced at Natalie and raised my eyebrows, “twice.”

Grace understood and grinned. “You ditched me.”

“I actually think you ditched me. You left with Kyle Rogers. What happened anyway?”

“Nope. Don’t change the subject. I fully admit to being distracted and selfish this weekend, but I can’t believe you picked up a guy under my nose. Shit, I’m a terrible friend.”

“You’re not terrible. You’re the reason I met him at all. If you hadn’t dragged me out I wouldn’t have been there.” That actually made me a little sad. I would have been home alone with my wine and my books instead of out being seduced by a man and having a great time.

What was I doing with me life?

“What’s that look for?” Grace asked.

I shrugged. “What the hell am I supposed to do? I can’t keep living like a hermit, but I can’t do what I did either.”

“You could date. We talked about that and you sounded excited.” She leaned across the counter so we could talk quieter. Natalie was sneaky. Sometimes she turned down her music and listened to us, the little stinker. But at the moment her pencil was waggling quickly as she scribbled an essay, so I was pretty sure we were in the clear.

“Here’s the thing,” I’d thought long and hard about this all afternoon. Seeing Greg, talking with him about what he wanted, it had triggered something I’d long since forgotten. “I don’t want to settle.”

Grace’s eyebrows shot up. “Explain.”

“I don’t want to date just to date. I want to feel something. I want to fall in love, but I don’t think I believe in love. I’m so screwed up.” I set down my glass and rubbed my face. My brain hurt.

My heart hurt.

I liked Greg. A lot. I wanted to let myself feel things for him and have stupid fantasies, but I knew how incredibly rare real love was and I was not about to put myself out there for something that might be nothing more than a game to Greg. I knew the way I felt around him. I didn’t think I could keep it to just sex.

“You don’t believe in love? Because of Edward and Lucinda.”

I shuddered a little at the thought of my parents. I didn’t think they had any concept of love in their bodies. Not even for me. They seemed to have some for Natalie, so maybe they did, but certainly not for each other. God, how they hated each other.

But it was more than that. It was everything about them. They were manipulators. Users. They never did anything out of kindness. Everything was about getting something.

“They don’t help, that’s for sure. But think about it. How many couples do you know that are truly in love? How many are together for convenience? How many are scared of being alone? That’s not love.”

Grace nodded. She understood and she felt the same way. It was part of the reason we bonded so many years ago. Neither of us wanted to be in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. So instead we were in a relationship with each other.

It worked.

“I know what you’re trying to say. I do. But I also don’t think you can fall in love without taking some chances. You’re gonna get used. You will get your heart broken. You might never find the right guy, but you definitely can’t find him in your living room.”

“You have a very good point,” I sighed. “But it doesn’t help me figure out how to do this. I may have to muddle through for a while.”

“Muddling’s good. It means you’re trying. Are you going to muddle with Greg again?”

“No,” I said quickly. “I don’t know him well, but I do know that he’s not the kind of guy you fall in love with. Someone’s done a number on him already.”

“Someone’s done a number on me already, that doesn’t mean I don’t still hope to find someone different one day.”

“Maybe,” I said quietly. I glanced at Natalie and realized she was very still. Her pencil was down with her hands in her lap. The headphones were still on, but she was definitely listening. “How’s the homework?”

“Done.” She didn’t turn. I wondered how long she’d been listening.

“Want some dessert?” I picked up the plate of cookies Grace brought from the shop. Natalie turned and slowly walked up to the counter. Her eyes were watery like she was holding back tears. “Are you okay, baby?”

She shook her head and sniffled. “No.”

Grace and I traded a look. It was really rare for Natalie to cry. I sometimes wondered if her tear ducts worked. Maybe puberty was affecting her? “What’s wrong?”

She sniffled through half the cookie before she replied. “Greg’s my friend, okay? I don’t like hearing you say things like he’s a lost cause. He’s been through a lot.”

“And how do you know this?”

She glared at me. “I know things, okay? And you? I don’t like hearing you say you don’t believe in love. You’re my mom and I want to believe you’re gonna find love one day. If you can’t, how the heck am I? You’re perfect, Mom. If you have no hope, then I’m screwed.”

I let the language slide and hugged the crap out of Natalie. She laid her head on my shoulder and held me tight, but didn’t cry anymore. Grace and I traded a silent conversation of mouthed words and expressions. She didn’t know anything about Greg other than how he liked his coffee. I felt bad that Natalie heard such fatalistic ideas about life and love from her mother.

We should have moved to the living room, but really, she probably would have overheard us there, too.

“You’re not screwed. None of us are.” I rocked her like she was little again. “I’m figuring it out. I really, truly am.” Sometimes being a parent really sucked.

* * *

The rest of the week flew by. Natalie was quiet, but reported that Greg had been a no-show at the coffee shop all week. It was probably for the best.

A break was probably good for everyone.

“Be on your best behavior,” I said to Natalie as we walked up to Eve’s door. They lived in an adorable two-story bungalow on Davis Islands.

“I can’t believe you just said that,” Natalie muttered under her breath. She’d been acting weird all morning, but the weirdness was getting worse. Normally she enjoyed going out with me, but today was different.

Maybe the sullen teenage phase was finally starting after all.

“You made it!” Eve opened the door and stood to the side. “Natalie, I’ve been wanting to show you my library forever.”

Natalie grinned—finally—and moved out of the way so I could hug Eve. “Thanks for having us over.”

“It’s ridiculous how long it’s been. We can’t let work get in the way like this.” She closed the door and immediately grabbed Natalie, pulling her down a hallway.

The house was beautiful. Beside the front door was a staircase. The living room opened up to my left, the kitchen ahead, and the hallway on the right. Eve and Natalie were already at the end, opening the last door while I wandered, taking the opportunity to be nosy.

My favorite was always the pictures, and Eve had some amazing ones. Pictures of her dad, Papa Joe Daniels, as both a player and then a coach. Pictures of her and her sisters growing up on Sanibel. Pictures of her and Jake in college and then at their wedding.

Holy crap she’d been a beautiful bride. The smile alone made her look amazing. Not to mention the new husband with his matching smile. Jake was a good looking man, but he was straight up gorgeous in these photos.

I finished wandering into the library. Natalie was staring up at the bookcases with her mouth open.

“They’re mostly organized by genre. The ones I love are at eye level, the ones I want to read are above, and the ones I didn’t really like are below.” Eve made a face as she said the last part.

Natalie nodded furiously. “I like your system. It totally makes sense and it means I’ll get to know you better.”

“Exactly,” Eve nodded. “Books say a lot about the reader and the writer.”

I could tell Natalie wanted to attack the shelves. She was just barely containing her excitement by biting her lower lip and wringing her fingers. “Can she touch them?” I asked since Natalie wasn’t ever going to get up the nerve.

“Go nuts. I’m stealing your mom now.”

“Have fun,” Natalie said with a wave. She didn’t even bother looking at us.

“So,” Eve grabbed my hand. “You, me, alcohol, and gossip.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“Good. Jake is finishing up some work upstairs and then he’s going to make lunch. His business partner is stopping by to eat too. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Why would I mind?”

Eve shrugged and looked away. “Just want to make sure my guest is happy. I finally got you over here and I don’t want to scare you away!”

Something about this felt off, but I wasn’t sure what. Unless this was a setup, but even that would be fine. I mean, sure it’s weird that Eve would do that without asking—especially when we’d worked so hard to get time together—but weirder things had happened. Sometimes happily married people wanted all their single friends to be as happy as they are and they forgot we don’t need to be set up at every possible opportunity.

I decided it wasn’t worth worrying about and focused on helping Eve pour our mojitos.

“I have chips and guacamole, too. You know, so we don’t get shit-faced,” she said.

“Smart girl.”

We settled into a cushy set of lounge chairs on the back porch. It was warm, but the ceiling fans moved enough air to keep it comfortable. The cold mojitos helped, too.

“How’s work?” she asked first.

“Busy but good. You?”

“Busy but good. I’m just happy to have a Saturday off. I don’t get as many as I’d like in the summer.” Being Director of Fan Experience meant that Eve oversaw anything that involved the Rays fans, including games.

“At least baseball season isn’t year round.”

“Cheers to that.” She raised her glass and took another sip. “So spill the beans. Were the rumors about Bobby true?”

That’s right. Eve wanted gossip. She’d asked about Bobby when I saw her at the stadium. “Yes and no. He did have too much fun in Cancun. He did get drunk and punch the bell hop. And he did pay a hooker while he was there.” All of this and more had been front page news for weeks. Bobby Jones was not going to be living down his Cancun vacation for a very, very long time.

“But? There’s a but. I know there’s a but.”

“Oh there’s a but,” I assured her. A great big huge one.

“Well, what is it?” She sat up and turned to face me.

“Are you sure you can handle this? It’s big. And crazy. And weird.” I shook my head and shivered trying to picture exactly what had happened to Bobby.

Eve glared at me. “Of course I can handle it. And you know I’m not telling anyone.”

“While he was drunk he passed out.”

Eve leaned closer, practically eating out of my hands as I spoon-fed her the story.

“And the bell hop he punched happened to be the brother of a local plastic surgeon.”

Her eyes widened and her jaw went slack. “What did they do to him?”

It would be so inappropriate to giggle, but damn did I want to. “They gave him breast implants.”

Eve clamped her hand over her mouth and held in the fit of laughter.

“He’s mortified. They’ve been removed, obviously, but he’s had to have corrective surgeries.”

Eve keeled over on the lounge chair, still silently laughing. A tear rolled out of the corner of her eye. I took her drink and set it on the table.

“Thank you,” she gasped between fits.

“You’re welcome.”

I slowly drank my mojito while Eve went from one fit of giggles to another. When she finally sat up, she shook her hands and took several breaths. “Oh man. That was not what I was expecting. I’d feel bad for him, but that dude is a jerk. He gets mean when he’s drunk and he’s drunk pretty much any time he’s not on the court.”

I shrugged. “I hear ya. He doesn’t care about any of the headlines as long as that one doesn’t leak. It’s been an interesting circus dealing with this one. It’s made work less boring.”

Things got weirdly quiet after that. Eve sucked down most of her drink and I finished off mine. The guacamole was fantastic and the salty chips were a nice compliment to the sugar in our drinks.

“You want another?” Eve asked as she stood up, empty glass in hand.

“Sure, why not. We still have a bit, right?”

“Jake’s not even downstairs yet.”

Things were fun, but not quite relaxed. I couldn’t really put my finger on it, but Eve seemed keyed up. It was keeping us from being totally comfortable together because, quite frankly, I had my defenses up—just in case.

She came back a minute later with two full glasses. “So, I heard a little rumor about you.”

“What?” Rumors about me were never a good thing. Not in my line of work, and certainly not with my boss. Edward ran a tight ship at Bancroft Sports and his daughter was held to the highest standards. If there was a rumor about me, I wanted to know what it was.

Eve waved me off. “Don’t get you panties in a bunch. It was about last weekend. I heard you met someone.”

“Where did you hear that?” Seriously, where did she hear that?

“Never mind where I heard it, tell me about the guy. I need to live vicariously through you.”

So maybe Jake’s business partner wasn’t a setup after all. Not the way Eve was digging into my fling the weekend before. “Where are you getting this?”

“A friend of mine saw you. Said you were with a hot guy and it looked intense. Tell me!”

“A friend, huh?” I guess that was as good an explanation as any. “He was nice, we had fun. That’s it.”

“He was nice? How nice? How hot?”

I felt like I was back in college giving bad date details to my roommate.

“Not that nice. He swears like a sailor and really isn’t very nice to anyone. He was nice to me, though. And he was definitely not nice in bed.” I frowned. “That came out all wrong. He was very nice in bed, but…” I buried my face in my hands. The alcohol was making me sound crazy.

“He took care of you sexually, and in doing so was not polite about it. Meaning he gave it to you good?”

I looked between my fingers. “Yes.”

“Nice.”

I rolled my eyes. I was never using the word “nice” again. “He was very hot. Super sexy. Strong. He had two tattoos. I don’t think I’ve ever had sex with a man who had tattoos before.”

And now I was babbling.

Eve grinned. “I don’t think I have either. Jake doesn’t have tattoos.”

“He had the dirtiest mouth, Eve. I mean, he swears in every sentence, but in bed? Holy cow. He just keeps talking.”

A weird look came over Eve and she put up her hand. “Okay, okay. That’s enough.”

“Sorry.” Her reaction was strange…she wanted details and yet, didn’t.

“No.” Then she made a face like she didn’t know what to say. “So, have I ever told you about Jake’s business partner before? The one who’s coming over?”

So it was a setup. “No I don’t think you have. Why?”

“Well, he’s more than a business partner. He’s our best friend. Jake’s and mine.” Her words were fast and choppy as they spilled out of her. “He practically lives here with us sometimes. He’s family.”

“That sounds nice.” Why was she telling me this?

“I just want you to know that before he gets here.”

“Why?” I had a sinking feeling in my stomach. This was really weird.

“Because you might have other thoughts about him.”

“Why would I have any thoughts about him?” My Weirdo-Meter was officially off the charts now.

The doorbell rang and Eve stood straight up like a spring had been secretly lodged in her ass. “He’s here. Come meet him.” She grabbed my hand and yanked, spilling some of my drink as I tried to keep up with her.

“Eve?”

She ignored me.

“Eve?”

Jake beat her to the door and the two of them exchanged a look. What the hell was this? Was I being pulled into some sort of secret cult? Dragged off by the police? Used as human sacrifice?

“Just open the door,” Eve hissed at Jake.

She still had my hand in a death grip and all I could do was stand there and wait for whoever was on the other side of that door.

15

“What. The. Fuck.” I kept driving. I didn’t stop. I passed Jake and Eve’s house four times, staring at the car parked in the driveway before I pulled over a few houses down and called Jake.

The bastard didn’t answer. Now I knew why Eve always called him a bastard—that’s exactly what the fucker was. “Jake. Who is at your house? There is a car in the driveway. Answer your fucking phone.”

I waited five seconds before texting him.

And then I called him again and left a very similar message with a few more swear words.

I stared at the car. It was Marie’s car. I knew it. Sure there were a lot of black Audi sedans in the world, but it was definitely hers. It wasn’t the color or even the little sticker on the rear windshield. I just knew it was hers. If I walked up to the dark windows and looked in, there would be books on the floorboard.

But what the fuck was she doing here?

She told me to stay away. What would she do if I walked in? Kick me out? Leave? Was there a protocol for this kind of thing?

Obviously we knew more of the same people than either of us ever realized, which meant even if I tried my damnedest to avoid her, we would still run into each other from time to time. I was going to have to move if I wanted to stay away from her, and I definitely didn’t want to move.

Damn it all.

What I did want was to walk into that house, look into her eyes, and make her talk to me. I had no idea what I was going to say or if it was even going to matter, but I knew I had to. I’d developed a new ache since the night Marie left my condo. It was different than the dull one I felt every day for Jenn. This one was sharp and kind of made me feel like I was dying. Like if I didn’t actively get off my ass and do something to stop it, it would kill me.

So my ass was going inside.

I pulled my car up to the curb and parked. My Marie was inside my best friend’s house. The universe was definitely trying to tell me something.

I stood on the stoop and checked my phone again. Jake was still ignoring me, which was a pretty damn good sign he’d done this on purpose. I knocked loudly.

The door opened and I seriously considered punching Jake right in the face for lying to me, but then I saw her just over his shoulder, standing beside Eve.

Even though I was absolutely positive I would see Marie when I walked inside, it still knocked me on my ass to actually see her.

I was like a kid with a crush. My palms got all sweaty and my heart started pumping like crazy. Hell, even my cock twitched in my pants. Everything was screaming at me to be with her. Touch her. Breathe her in.

“What the fuck is this?” I asked as Jake closed the door.

Eve scowled at me. “What?” she asked. “Am I not allowed to have friends over?”

I gave her a “cut the shit” look. “Can we drop the act? Obviously this is a setup.”

Marie’s just stared at me. She didn’t move or say anything. I’d had time to process this outside, but she looked totally blindsided.

Jake cleared his throat. “Greg, this is Marie Bancroft, a good friend of Eve’s. Marie,” he waved his hand at me. “This is my business partner, Greg Hamilton.”

I batted his hand away from me. “No shit Sherlock. What’s with the secret meeting?”

He and Eve traded another look—which was getting really old, really fast. “I knew Eve had already invited Marie over, so I made sure you’d both be here at the same time. That’s everything.” Then he frowned. “Well, almost everything.”

Bancroft. “Bancroft Sports?” I asked out loud, and to myself. The pieces started falling together. Eve knew Marie through work. “You run quite a company.”

Marie kept staring at me. “Business partner?” she squeaked out.

I felt bad. I was the one that seduced her with my sexy smooth talk. I was the one who convinced her there was no harm in a second night together. I was the one with the shitty best friends who set us both up. The poor girl just wanted to be rid of me, and yet, here she was stuck with me all over again.

I’d feel worse if I wasn’t so fucking happy to see her again.

I pointed at myself. “Hamilton,” then at Jake, “Spencer and Associates.”

She shook her head and then her hands like she was trying to get blood back in circulation. “I get that now, Mister I run a company.”

And that was when she knocked me on my ass all over again. I expected her to freak out and leave, but instead, there was a teasing quality to her voice—almost as if she was completely amused by the situation.

“This coming from the woman who started it with,” I curled my fingers and did the whole air quote thing, “I run a company.”

She actually smiled a little, which was nice to see.

All of her was nice to see. She was wearing a cute pair of green shorts that accentuated her toned legs and a white t-shirt that reminded me how gorgeous the body underneath it was. She looked relaxed and maybe even a little younger and more carefree than she had on her weekend with me.

It made me wonder how much I didn’t know about her, and how badly I wanted to know all those mysterious things.

That’s what Siren’s did, wasn’t it? Draw in unsuspecting men, confuse them, and seduce them. I was so fucked.

“It seems,” she sighed, looking back and forth between our benevolent captors, “that avoiding you is not going to happen.”

Eve snorted and Jake looked up at the ceiling.

“Now that these two are involved, I think we’re required to see this through to the bloody end,” I replied. I really, really liked the look in Marie’s eyes.

“Might as well get it over with then, seeing as we can’t escape.”

“Oh for fucks sake!” Eve wailed. “You two act like you don’t like each other and we’re holding you against your will.” Then she pouted.

I gave her a little hug. “No, we just don’t like being manipulated, even by people we love.”

She glared up at me. “Are you mad?”

“No,” I shook my head, managing not to smile like I really wanted to.

Eve glanced at Marie, who was watching the two of us with curiosity.

That’s right, sweetheart, you don’t know everything about me.

Yet.

“No,” Marie agreed. “Not mad. A little pissed, but not mad.”

“Drinks?” Jake asked, probably hoping to bring peace to the galaxy.

We all moved to the kitchen. I watched the sway of Marie’s hips as she walked ahead of me and that sharp ache lessened a little.

Jake punched me in the arm and gave me a thumbs up. Stupid idiot that I am, I grinned at him because, fuck, I was happy.

I was still floored that Marie wasn’t yelling at me or driving away. Maybe she was in shock, or maybe having a week to think things over made her less freaked out. Either way, this felt like a final, beautiful opportunity to see where things could go.

“How long have you known Jake and Eve?” Marie asked quietly.

That was a loaded question. Not that she knew it was loaded. It was a simple enough thing to ask, but answering it told her a helluva lot about me. I took a long sip and glanced at Jake. “I’ve known this asshole for almost a decade. I worked for his uncle’s firm in the Middle East. At some point we got moved to the same contract and no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to lose him.”

Jake shook his head. “I think you have that backwards, my friend.”

“You followed me to Tampa.”

Marie’s eyes lit up and her mouth opened slightly. She had to know Jake and Eve’s story, and now she knew a little of mine, too.

Jake missed the whole thing. “You practically dragged me here with your bare hands. Thank you, by the way. I don’t think I’ve said it this week.”

I ignored him. “And I finally met Eve after I moved here. Him,” I stuck my thumb at Jake. “I can lose. But her? Never.” I threw my arm around Eve’s shoulders and she set her head on mine.

“You’re stuck with both of us forever,” she said.

I kissed the top of her head. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.” I let a few seconds pass before I looked back at Marie. She was studying us, but there was no emotion on her face. I couldn’t tell what she was thinking.

“So how did you meet Eve?” I asked.

Her eyes darted up to mine. “I think we’d met in passing a few times over the years, but it was about a year ago one of my clients—who was also one of Eve’s players—had a big problem. We ended up working together quite a bit and became friends from there.”

“Nice.” Now that they were together, I could definitely see how these two would be friends. Marie and Eve were very different people, but they both had the same drive.

“So, are we going to eat anytime today?” Eve asked slowly. She finally picked her head up off my shoulder and I let her go.

“Give me five minutes.” Jake started pulling barbecue out of the fridge.

“Where’s the kid?” I asked. I was willing to bet money Natalie was curled up in Eve’s library.

“I’m right here,” Natalie replied from behind me. She had her head down in a book—no surprise there—as she leaned against the doorframe.

“Whatcha reading?” Her book choice was usually a good reflection of her mood.

“Mary Higgins Clark.”

A mystery. That was interesting. “Well at least it’s something fun.”

“Oh it is,” she finally looked up. “This one is really old. There aren’t any cell phones or computers or anything. It’s crazy how people used to live.”

“Hey, I can actually remember those days.” I frowned at her.

She grinned up at me. “Old man…”

“Go read your book, kid. And eat a cookie.”

She frowned. “No cookies before dinner. That’s why I came in here—I smelled food.” She pushed her way up to the counter. “Oh, I love barbecue.”

That was when I realized everyone was staring at us. “What?”

“Nothing,” Eve replied quickly and pretended the macaroni salad desperately needed mixing. “I just didn’t realize you knew Natalie so well.”

I shrugged and, honestly, felt a little weird. So what if I knew Natalie?

I wanted to deflect the attention so I scowled at Jake. That always worked. “So at the front door you said you told us almost everything. What else haven’t you told us?”

Jake glanced at Eve and they had some sort of silent eyeball conversation that looked more like glaring than anything else. Finally Eve stuck her tongue out at Jake. “Fine. Natalie called me to make sure today happened.”

Natalie dropped her fork and stared at Eve with her mouth hanging open. “Traitor!”

Even the kid was in on it.

“How did you know?” Marie asked. Her voice was really squeaky. Mine probably would be too if I tried to talk.

She shrugged her little shoulders and looked at her mom. “Google. You should try it sometime, you can find out a lot on the internet.” Then she looked over at me. “I Googled him and realized he worked with Jake, so I called Eve. It’s not like I violated any international treaties. Anyone could do it.” She rolled her eyes for added affect.

I had to give it to the kid, she was feisty—just like her mother.

“So this is what you meant—” Marie suddenly snapped her mouth shut. “Never mind. We’ll talk about this later.”

Natalie shrugged and went back to piling food on her plate. She sat at the little kitchen table with her book propped up while the rest of us took our plates out back to the porch. Jake and I talked about work, the girls talked about the Rays, and in general we all acted like we’d always been friends.

In a way, it felt like we’d always been friends. It was so perfect it hurt. How had I missed meeting her for so long? And why did I let her slip through my fingers Monday afternoon?

Jake looked across the table at Marie. “So how are things with Edward?”

My ears perked up. I didn’t know who the hell Edward was, but I sure wanted to find out.

Marie frowned. “Nothing’s changed. He’s still an asshole and I’m still hiding down here until he retires.”

Whoever Edward was, I didn’t like him.

“What’s going to happen when he retires?” Jake asked between bites.

She shrugged. “Until he actually starts letting go, I’m not sure. I don’t want to move back to New York, but that is certainly a possibility.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Jake replied.

Marie fidgeted and glanced at me. “Edward is my father,” she explained.

So that was why Jake was asking. He was the king of dealing with crap hands from fathers and it seemed like the two of them had talked about this before.

Now I really, really didn’t like Edward.

“My hope is that once he retires I only have to see him at Christmas. He’s dropped hints that he plans on traveling extensively if he ever does, in fact, retire.”

“Good.” Jake went back to drinking his beer.

“And you?” she asked, throwing the question right back. The way she did that made me smile—it was exactly what attracted me to her.

Jake stared at her for a minute before he answered. “Zero contact is the only way things work for me and that isn’t ever going to change.”

She nodded and finally let the subject drop. Not that I wanted her to. I wanted to ask questions. I wanted to know her from the inside out.

Something was taking over—something I had zero control over. I was angry at a man I’d never met, and this need to know more about Marie? It was intense. Like I had to know more.

“How was the rest of your week?” I asked her quietly. “You know, after I scared the shit out of you?”

A slow, sexy smile pulled up on her lips and it made my heart beat a little faster. Maybe I could make her laugh in a few minutes, too. Shit, I’d be done for if that happened.

All these crazy things I was feeling, plus that laugh? Jake and Eve could just dig a hole and stick my body in it. I had a feeling it would be a beautiful death.

“It was very boring in comparison. You?”

“Worst week ever,” I breathed. I sounded like a fucking lovesick girl.

Her eyebrows shot up. “I heard you skipped your café con leche. Natalie was disappointed.”

Quitting my afternoon ritual had been hard, but necessary for survival. “Didn’t mean to hurt the kid. And the caffeine withdrawals were brutal.”

She shook her head. “You’re your own worst enemy, you know that right?”

Eve laughed and then covered her mouth. “She’s got you pegged.”

I puffed out my chest. “I just didn’t want to dangle man-candy in front of you when you so clearly told me to stay out of your way.” I made a big deal of showing myself off. I wanted her to laugh, but instead her eyes darkened. She cocked her head and ran her eyes over my entire body.

I was instantly hard.

“Like what you see?” I asked, just like she had in my bedroom. Somehow, we’d suddenly fallen back into the same comfort zone we’d had last weekend.

Her eyes darted back up to mine. Her voice was deep and husky when she responded the exact same way I had that night. “I think we both know how I feel about your body.”

Jake choked on his beer and I grinned at him. It was nice to gross him out for a change. I’d been putting up with it for too long. “Yeah, buddy. Payback’s a bitch.”

“Payback?” Marie asked.

“Oh, yeah.” I leaned in close enough to smell her. It did things to me. Very dark and dirty things. “These two over here are like rabbits. And they have no problem doing it right in front of you, I might add.”

“Like doing it, doing it?” Marie frowned.

I nodded. “Oh, yeah. I’ve walked in on them, waited for them, covered the bathroom door for them, and unfortunately seen how often his hand is between her legs in public.”

Eve grinned. “Jealousy looks good on you, Hamilton.”

And that was one of the things I loved about Eve the most. She wasn’t shy at all. In fact, she was quite proud of her love life and wasn’t afraid to talk about it.

“In fact, where are your hands now, Jake?” I asked.

He put both hands up in the air. “They’re right here. One. Two.”

Oh no, there was no way they weren’t fondling each other under the table. “Eve? Where’s your foot?”

She grinned and slowly pulled her foot out of Jake’s lap, sitting up straighter. Jake frowned a little and took a deep breath. “Ass.”

“See?” I smiled at Marie wondering if she thought we’d all lost our damn minds, but instead, she was watching us with fascination.

“I had no idea the rumors about you two at the New Year’s party were true…” she murmured.

Eve grinned again as she leaned forward on the table. “Oh yeah…I forgot about that one.”

“Which one was that?” Jake asked with a grin. He knew exactly which one it was, he just got off on hearing Eve talk about it. Kinky bastard.

Lucky bastard.

“Behind the planter on the rooftop.”

“No, that’s not the rumor I heard,” Marie replied. “I heard about you two in the pool after the party.”

“Oh yeah,” they both said in unison and then laughed. “I forgot we went for a swim in our clothes.”

“In all fairness, we didn’t keep them all on.”

“In all fairness,” he replied, “we didn’t really swim.”

I watched Marie out of the corner of my eye while I pretended to be fascinated with the label on my beer bottle. She watched them with softness. She wasn’t disgusted or embarrassed. Instead she looked wistful. I wondered if she wished for stories like that. I know I sure did.

“How about we let these two make out for a minute? We need to talk.” I pushed back my chair.

She took my hand without another word and let me lead her inside to the living room. Natalie wasn’t at the table anymore, so I assumed she’d returned to the library. We were far enough away that our conversation should be private.

Marie walked all the way across the room and stared up at a framed jersey on the wall. Her blonde hair hung down her back in waves and I really, really wanted to put my hands in it, pull her against me and grind until she moaned.

I’d never reacted to a woman like this before. It was crazy and weird, but for the life of me, I didn’t want it to stop.

“Do you want what they have?” she asked without turning.

I stopped a couple of feet behind her and shoved my hands in my pockets so I wouldn’t do anything stupid with them. “Jake and Eve? Yeah.” Who wouldn’t want to be ridiculously happy? “If I had a choice, I’d take what they have in a heartbeat.”

She turned. “You don’t have a choice?”

And this was where shit got real. It was specifically what I’d been avoiding my entire life. To me it was simple math: I was a sorry shit, I’d already fallen in love once and failed as a human being, therefore I’d taken and lost my one shot at being ridiculously happy.

But then I met Marie and was starting to realize everything I thought I knew might not be so simple. I was feeling things I never expected to feel again, and even more confusing, she seemed to be feeling them right back.

And most confusing of all, I found myself wanting to give in to those feelings. Which made no sense whatsoever because it couldn’t possibly end well. But there was a little voice in the back of my head that kept asking me to give this one more minute.

“Not really. No. Those two got lucky, not everyone gets lucky,” I said.

“I agree.”

Why did that sad, sad reply make my chest ache again? My heart twisted. I rubbed it quickly and shoved my hand back in my pocket. Marie watched the whole thing.

I felt like I’d just shown her half my soul.

She shook her head. “I’m sorry I was such an ass on Monday. I wasn’t thinking straight.”

“Sweetheart, you had every right to run screaming in the other direction. I’m not exactly the kind of guy you bring home to meet your daughter.” God damn that ache hurt.

She looked a little shocked by my comment. “What kind of guy are you, Greg?”

Fuck if I knew that answer anymore. “You’re right to keep your distance, Marie. I ruin everything I touch.”

“Jake and Eve don’t think so. They love you. They aren’t ruined.”

The ache got worse. Maybe I was having a heart attack after all. “Not yet.”

“Do you really believe that?” she whispered.

Did I? I thought I did, but I didn’t want it to be true. “I don’t know.” I sat down on the coffee table because I couldn’t stand anymore. The world was getting a little fuzzy on me and my knees definitely didn’t feel up to the whole vertical thing anymore.

Marie stood right in front of me. She started and stopped herself from saying something several times, then finally took a breath and let it out. “Do you like me? Like, me? Not my body, but…me.”

The fuck kind of question was that? I stopped rubbing my chest and looked up at her. “Yes. I like you. I thought I made that pretty damn clear this weekend when I took you home.” I brought her into my house, I talked to her, I didn’t play any games. “This wasn’t just about getting laid. I could have done that anywhere. With anyone.”

She smiled. “You’re really confident with your cock.”

And she was constantly surprising me. “It is amazing.”

“It is.” Then she squatted down in front of me and got serious again. “I ask because I was being really honest with you on Monday. I don’t have room for maybes in my life…but I realize that I was also being extreme. If this was just physical I’d say let’s get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Get it out of our systems and move on. But if it’s more—even if neither of us know what that is—” her voice trailed off and she looked down as if there were a script written on the area rug.

“I don’t think I can fuck you out of my system in a weekend,” I whispered. We’d already tried that, and all I wanted was more. More sex, more Marie, more everything.

It was scaring the shit out of me.

She swallowed—the pulse in her neck suddenly beating wildly again. “Me either.”

Was I really about to say what I was about to say? “Then let me take you and Natalie to brunch tomorrow.” Scared or not, I sure as shit knew that little voice in the back of my head had a point: I had to have one more minute.

“And then what?” she whispered.

“And then,” I slid off the coffee table onto the floor in front of her. “We go from there.” I cupped her face until my fingers reached the back of her neck. I had her in the palm of my hand. “ I don’t want to hurt you, but I can’t make any promises.”

“I don’t want promises.” Her breath was hot on my lips. “I just don’t want any lies.”

“I can do that, I don’t do lies.” And then I finally got to kiss her again.

She gasped and let out a little groan of pleasure, which made me smile because, damn. A kiss can do that to her?

The kiss got deeper and our hands started roaming when she suddenly pushed back. “I need to get Natalie home.”

“Is that code for ‘this kiss is too hot to handle?’ ”

She leaned back and smiled. “Yep.”

“Then I’ll allow it.” She’d agreed to brunch, I couldn’t be a completely greedy bastard. I was pushing my luck as it was. “I’ll pick you and the kid up at ten-thirty.” We exchanged phone numbers and she gave me her address before she left.

I got one more kiss out of her on the doorstep while Natalie giggled her way to the car. I wanted to do a victory lap around the house, but knew I’d look like a total shit and probably lose all my cool points with Marie, so instead I quietly went back inside.

Eve was waiting for me in the foyer. “So? Things went well…”

“They did. Thank you.” I could give credit where credit was due.

She shrugged. “Sometimes people need a little help getting together.”

“This is true.”

She led me back into the kitchen and I helped her finish cleaning up the food. Now that Marie was gone it really hit me: I had a date with her, she was friends with Eve, and most importantly, I wanted this.

“Still in shock?” Eve asked.

“Yep.”

“About seeing her, getting another date, or that it’s happening at all?”

Yeah, Eve knew what was up. “Mostly? The last one.”

She wiped down the countertop and tossed the paper towel in the trash. “It happens, you know? Sometimes people just…click.”

“Not me,” I answered automatically.

“Yes, you. You’re not broken or a curse, or whatever it is you think about yourself.”

I wanted to tell Eve that she was wrong, but the last thing I wanted to do was get into an argument. Right now, I just wanted to enjoy feeling alive for a few minutes.

“Let’s just see how brunch goes, okay?”

Eve put her hand on my arm. “You’re not the only one with baggage. When Marie says that her life is complicated, she means it, Greg. Be respectful of that. I want you to be happy, but you’ve got to be smart, too. You’re going from zero to sixty right now.”

“Worried about me?”

“A little.”

I hugged her. “Thanks for worrying about me.”

“Always. And now, here.” She opened a cabinet and dug out a bottle of Knob Creek.

“What’s this for?”

“You owe Jake a bottle. I bought a case since you and I don’t seem to be able to stop saying ‘fuck.’ ”

I laughed and kissed her on the top of the head. “That’s my girl.”

We walked back outside to where Jake was smoking his cigar. I held out the bottle. “For all the fucks I’ve given tonight.” And it hit me how true that was. For the first time in years I had a lot of fucks to give.

And it felt fucking nice.

16

“You really, really don’t need to stay the night. It’s just dinner. And it’s Sunday. You have school in the morning.” I stood in Natalie’s doorway watching her throw her uniform into a duffle bag.

“It’s just easier this way. You two can stay up as late as you want without having to worry about little old me and my bedtime.”

Brunch had gone spectacularly well. Greg and Natalie were quite the pair, plus he was incredibly good company and loved food. We tried everything on the enormous buffet. We were having so much fun I let him take us to a cute little bookstore Natalie loved. He bought her more books and made out with me when she wasn’t looking.

Or at least we thought she wasn’t looking, anyway. She seemed to have this secret smile all morning that only got bigger as the day wore on. Before we left, he kissed me and asked me out to dinner. I was saying no just as Natalie announced she would spend the night at Grace’s.

So here I was watching my daughter pack because she really, really wanted me to have dinner with Greg.

“What’s the big rush to get us together?” I asked as she grabbed her pillow.

“The fact that you are both chickens.”

Chickens?

Before I had a chance to respond, we were interrupted by Grace yelling from the front door. “I’m here! What are you wearing?”

“We’re in Natalie’s room.” I ignored her question. “We are not chickens. We’re practical.”

Natalie frowned. “Practical sounds boring and dumb to me. You both need to stop thinking so much.”

Two seconds later Grace was beside me. “You’re not wearing that, are you?”

I looked down at the shirt and shorts I’d been wearing all day. “No, I still have time to change.”

“Whatever.” She rolled her eyes and then turned to Natalie. “You ready for a girls night?”

“All packed.” Natalie threw her duffle bag over one arm and her backpack over the other. “Have fun, Mom. And I mean it. Have fun.”

“Yeah, what the munchkin said.” Grace nodded with a thumb over her shoulder. The words sounded light and there was a smile on her face, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

I put my hand on her shoulder and stopped her. “Something wrong?”

Grace glanced at Natalie who was already headed down the stairs. “I’m just having a bad week, nothing to worry about.”

I didn’t believe her, but I also knew that Grace was more likely to pick a fight than tell me what was wrong if she wasn’t ready to talk. “Okay. I’m here if you need to talk, you know that.”

She nodded tightly. “Thanks. I’ll get the kid to school on time. I mean it, have fun.”

And then she was out the door and I was waving to the darkness. By the time Greg knocked on my door I was dressed and more than ready for a drink or two.

I really liked him, he was great with Natalie, and most interesting of all, my body took over every single time he was near. It was weird, exciting, and a little freaky.

“Swanky,” he said as I opened the door. We’d met him at his car this morning so this was his first chance to see the inside of my house.

“Thank you. Come in.” I stood to the side and he stooped down to kiss me lightly on the lips. It was nice and surprisingly tender.

He let out a low whistle as he took in the foyer and living room. My house was only built fifteen years ago, but it was made to perfectly mimic the historic bungalows that were the trademark of the historic district we lived in—completely modern with a historic look. I absolutely loved my house.

“Marie, this is very, very nice. I never considered actually living in Hyde Park before but now…”

“We really like it here. We’ve got Bayshore, SoHo, and the Village all right here, and downtown is a hop, skip and a jump away. Plus the house.”

“Is sweet as shit. Very impressive. You ready?”

I nodded. “You want a quick tour first, or straight to dinner?”

He grinned. “I’d love a tour.”

My heart skipped a beat and I got all tingly between my legs. “Well this is the living room and back here is the kitchen.” I led him through a doorway. The kitchen was on the same level as the front of the house, but from there it was down three steps to a sunken family room that Natalie and I used primarily for movie marathons.

“I could live in this room. Nice couches.” His voice was like soft seductive velvet.

“There is a guest room over there, and our bedrooms are upstairs.” I waved my hand at the stairwell.

“You gonna show me or should I guess?”

Okay, so I was totally hesitating because I was a little afraid of having Greg near my bed. I desperately wanted to see him in it. Maybe I should just go around wearing a sign that said, “I like fucking Greg Hamilton” because I swear that’s all anyone saw when they looked at me.

Not that it was a bad thing. I did like fucking him. And talking to him. I liked the way he treated my daughter and his friends.

“Marie?” I realized I was standing there staring at the stairs instead of answering him.

He came toward me and slipped his arm around my waist. It made everything around us disappear. “Are you afraid to take me upstairs?” he growled in my ear.

The feel of his breath against my skin was intoxicating. Who the hell needed alcohol when Greg was around? I could get drunk on him. “Yes.”

“Why?” he kissed me on the lips and then worked his way along my jaw.

Blood rushed straight south so hard and fast it hurt. I squeezed my legs together to ease the throb. “Because I want to rip your clothes off.”

He growled again. “So what’s stopping you?”

“Dinner?” I asked.

“Are you more hungry for me, or for food?” He held his mouth just out of my reach. He was very still and I could hear every breath we took.

I could also feel his erection growing against my hip.

“Food?” I lied. I didn’t want food. I wanted him.

He grinned. “Show me your room. We can order takeout.”

I nodded and grabbed his hand, yanking him up the stairs behind me. It had been over a week since he had last touched me like this. Last Sunday I thought I’d never see him again, and yet here we were, together again.

How did this happen?

I pushed my questions aside as he tossed my shirt on the floor, popped off my bra, and started licking and sucking my nipples until I couldn’t breathe. Somehow a week without his cock had felt like an eternity. I wanted him deeper and harder to make up for his absence.

“I need you,” I gasped. “Don’t make me wait.”

That turned him on. His eyes went dark and the rest of our clothes disappeared. The condom went on and I was on my back before I could take a breath. And then…well, then he thrust hard. I cried out but it wasn’t in pain really, it was more like relief. He pulled back and thrust again. He slid deeper and I shuddered. Third time was a charm—he reared back and slammed into me until he was buried as deep as my body would let him go. “Oh God, oh God, oh God,” I gasped.

“Fuck, I need a second. You feel…too good,” he whispered in my ear. I was on fire everywhere. My skin tingled, my core throbbed and pulsed, and the blood coursed through my veins like I was coming alive for the first time all week.

His cock twitched inside me and Greg squeezed his eyes shut, resting his head on my shoulder. I wanted to wiggle my hips and make him ride me even if it was only for a few brief seconds, but I also knew if I just gave him a moment to get used to me, we might be able to make this last a little longer.

“Talk to me,” I whispered. “It turns me on, remember?”

He groaned like I was causing him pain. I hoped it was the good kind of pain.

“Woman. Are you trying to kill me?”

“No, I just know we have all night.”

He sucked in a breath. “You are trying to kill me. At least convince me to name you in my will before you off me.”

“Oh, am I in for a big inheritance?”

“Very big,” he groaned as he rocked into me. I knew he was insinuating his cock was very big, but I also realized I still didn’t know all that much about him. I knew him and yet, I didn’t. We had such a strange relationship. I knew what made him tick and which whiskeys were his favorites, but until last night, I had no idea what he did for a living.

“I like big things,” I murmured.

“Oh, I can tell.” He moved south, hitching up his knees so that he was kneeling over me with my legs around his waist. “You seem to like my dick quite a lot.”

I ground against him, feeling his heavy and wide cock stretching me, heating me from the inside out. My skin was hot, like I was running a marathon, but all I was doing was responding to the feel of his cock and his hands.

“I also like your mouth.”

“Oh…baby…” He leaned over me, taking my breast in his hand and sucking my nipple sharply into his mouth. It shot a jolt of pleasure straight to my core. He grunted in response and moved his other hand over my clit. “I just need another minute, and then you’re in for a rough ride. I hope that’s okay with you and your needy body.” He said all this with my nipple between his teeth. It hurt so good.

I shuddered as the memory of Greg slamming into me ran through my mind.

“Yes…that’s exactly what I want.”

“It doesn’t matter where I lick you, you always taste like candy. And you have to have the warmest, slickest, tightest pussy I’ve ever been inside. I want to stay here forever.” His fingers swirled around my clit and I felt like I was flying. My legs squeezed tighter around his waist and it took everything in me to keep from grinding against him.

“Keep talking,” I begged. The things he said about my body, and the way it made him feel, was the hottest thing I’d ever heard. The only thing better was his cock inside me.

“In ten seconds I’m going lay myself on top of your fantastic tits and slide my dick so deep inside that you see stars. I’m going to see stars, too. Because,” he kissed my nipple one last time and started shifting his knees out from their position. “There is nothing on this earth that feels as sweet as my dick slamming into you.”

He plunged his tongue into my mouth, planted his elbows on either side of my head, and reared back. I sucked in a breath as the anticipation overwhelmed me. Would it hurt? Would he go too far? Would it feel so amazing I came right then? The possibilities were endless and I loved not knowing what to expect next.

He thrust into me and my world exploded, my body quaking and begging for more. I used my nails in the skin of his shoulder to let him know when hard was too hard. It didn’t take long—we were both so damn horny and ready—before my orgasm hit. My legs shook and my entire body shuddered as it pulsed through me. I felt it in my hair and the curl of my toes.

Greg watched me the entire time, holding back just a little bit, until I was close to being done. That was when he finally let it all go. His movements suddenly became jerky, and then it hit him, too. He groaned and moaned, finally burying his face in my neck as he thrust in quick little strokes until there was nothing left in either of our bodies to keep going.

* * *

For the first two weeks we were too busy to think much. He was out of town most of the first week, and then Natalie and I had a function over the weekend. I was glad to have time to think, but I ached being away from him again. If my body were in charge of this relationship we’d be joined at the hip.

There was so much to think about. If we kept seeing each other, did that mean it was turning into something more? Was Greg the kind of guy who could do more? Was I the kind of girl who could do more? We hadn’t talked about anything personal. I didn’t know why he was so closed off and he knew nothing about Brandon or my work. Each piece of information felt like a bomb that could possibly explode what little we had. I was walking on eggshells and I didn’t know why.

I barely knew him. I wasn’t losing anything if this ended tomorrow.

But somehow I didn’t quite believe that.

We hadn’t seen each other in days so Greg offered to bring us dinner and finish his work at my house. He was currently on my couch, dealing with a mess at work.

“No, it’s because you’re a fucktard and don’t know your ass from a hole in the ground. Read the directions carefully and follow each one. Do not make your own corrections, do not skip steps because you think you can, and for fuck’s sake, do not call me and ask me how to do it when the instructions are right in front of you!” Greg was swearing into his phone with his laptop out on the coffee table and a mostly empty whiskey in his hand.

Natalie grinned at me. I shook my head. “Just ignore him. He’s like this most of the time.”

“I know,” she giggled.

Of course she did.

He slammed his phone down on the coffee table and started pecking at his computer as if pushing the keys harder somehow made whatever poor soul had been on the other end of that phone call smarter.

“Hey Greg?”

“What?” he barked at me just as vehemently as he had his caller. Then he looked at me and his whole face softened. “Sorry. I guess I got a little worked up, huh?”

I nodded but smiled because seriously, it was just him. And I really liked him.

“Sorry kid. But you should learn sooner than later anyway. Most people are dumb fucktards and it’s best to deal with them with a lot of swearing.”

Natalie laughed some more and kept working on her homework. I cocked an eyebrow and narrowed my eyes.

“Oh?” he growled. “Am I going to be punished?”

“No!” Natalie howled covering her ears. “Swearing and stupid people I can handle, but kinky grownup gross stuff I cannot!”

I tried really hard to pretend I was embarrassed, but I wasn’t and I knew it showed. In a really weird way I was glad Natalie got to hear some healthy banter between us. “I’ll go over there and distract him from his work. We’ll be quieter, I promise.”

“Doesn’t make it any less gross,” she grumbled, pulling out her headphones and plugging them into her phone.

I grabbed my glass of wine and pulled Greg into the front room where we settled onto the much less comfortable living room couch. “Problems at work?”

He slid his arm around me and pressed my head into his broad shoulder. It felt kind of perfect to lie there. “Not really. Just idiots. It still amazes me how incredibly stupid some people can be.”

“Why don’t you fire the idiots and hire non-idiots?”

He chuckled. “Sweetheart, I wouldn’t have any employees if I did that.”

I nuzzled his neck and the scruff on his chin tickled my nose. He smelled damn good and felt even better.

“Can I ask you a question?” he said softly.

I looked up and saw that he was watching me carefully. “Sure?”

“It’s about Natalie’s dad. Who is he?”

I nodded a few times, pumping myself up for that conversation. “His name is Brandon.” I glanced toward the family room where I could hear Natalie humming along to whatever song was playing on her phone. “He’s very much a part of her life, but he lives in France.”

“That sounds complicated.”

“Sometimes, but mostly not. It’s just the way we are. It gives Natalie a chance to travel and she’s pretty fluent in French, which is cool.”

“I’ve noticed. She was reading The Stranger and The Hunchback in French a few weeks ago.”

I smiled because I was so damn proud of that girl. “Yeah, she’s crazy.”

“Is he a good guy?”

Greg was surprisingly tense. It made me like him even more—the way he felt toward Natalie was really endearing. “Yeah he’s a good guy. He never really wanted to settle down and raise a kid, so this works out for us.”

Greg nodded, but he didn’t relax one bit. “You make it sound like settling down and raising a kid as a teenager was what you wanted.”

“No, it’s definitely not what I wanted,” I replied even more quietly than I was already talking. I kept stealing glances across the room because I never liked talking about this stuff in front of her. I was always worried she’d hear something out of context and take it the wrong way. “But what other option was there? I love her and I wanted to give her the best life I could. She shouldn’t suffer because I was being a rebellious teenager. And,” I sighed and started picking my nails. “I knew Brandon well enough to know that if I pushed him for too much, or tied him down too hard, he’d make us all miserable and eventually walk away. I didn’t want us to be miserable and I most definitely wanted Natalie to always have her dad. Brandon and I were not meant to be and we were not ready to be parents, but he’s a good guy and when the chips are down, he’s a good friend.”

“How did you meet?”

I chuckled remembering back that far. The image of me as a teenager was not something I enjoyed. “We went to high school together. Our dads were rivals and they sent us to the same prep school for over-privileged kids. At first I thought Brandon was devastatingly cute and I about melted when he started flirting with me. But then we realized who our dads were and that being together pissed them off royally—something we were both desperate to do.”

“I can’t picture you as the rebel.”

“Oh, by sixteen I was doing the full-court press on my parents. Sneaking out, wearing things they forbid me to wear, drinking, smoking.” I ticked them all off on my fingers. “But it all felt pointless. Sure I was making them mad and occasionally embarrassed, but I was hurting myself, too. I wanted to do something that would really get under their skin. So I started dating Brandon, sneaking out to be with him, and having sex.”

Greg pulled me in closer to his side and kissed my cheek. “And then you got pregnant.”

“I did. I finally got what I wanted: my parents were mortified and the fact that it was Brandon’s child only made it a thousand times worse. They called us Romeo and Juliet in the gossip columns.”

“You were in gossip columns?” Greg sputtered.

“High society and all that crap. They ran a few stories on the rivalry between our families and our ‘love story’. Luckily the story died well before Natalie was born.”

“You went to college?”

“I did. My parents hired a fulltime nanny and I went about my life. I finished high school and college with Natalie and the nanny in tow. Linda was amazing. In a lot of ways she was a mother to both of us. I’m really grateful for her. Brandon went off to Harvard, and then moved in to his role with Calais. He’s the one who transitioned them from an agency to athletic clothing. He’s always had a better understanding of the European markets than just about anyone. He has a gift for it, really. I’m glad he didn’t let his dad intimidate him into running the company the same way he did.”

The way Edward kept pushing me around.

“Plus it means you two are no longer rivals,” Greg pointed out.

“That’s a bonus, for sure.”

Greg took the empty wine glass out of my hand and placed it on the table beside his empty whiskey glass, and then he pulled me sideways into his lap and kissed me. His hands ran up my shoulders and tangled in my hair.

I kissed him back, enjoying how it felt to let everything go. It was nice to have one big conversation out of the way. I hoped they’d all go this easily.

“So, we need to talk about something else, too.” He pulled back and nipped at my lower lip. “About us.”

Why did that make me feel crazy? “What about us?”

“What are we? What are the rules? Are we going too fast?”

“Good questions.” Really good questions. “I’m not sure where to start.”

He massaged the back of my neck while staring at my lips. “Let’s start with the last one. Do you think we’re going too fast?” He looked adorably shy. If Natalie weren’t in the next room I’d wrap my legs around his waist and kiss him until he forgot we had anything to talk about.

“When we’re together, I don’t know how to stop,” I murmured. “We could move really fast if we wanted to.” I didn’t want that.

“So what are the rules? What do you want from me, Marie?”

“I want to make sure we both know what we’re doing so we don’t hurt anyone. You, me, or her.”

“I agree. The last thing I want is to hurt either of you.”

I really believed that. “So I think no sleepovers during the week.”

He arched an eyebrow. “But weekends are fine? I like that.”

“Yes. We’re both so busy I don’t know when we’d see each other during the week anyway.”

“Dinner,” he said firmly. “I want to have dinners with you both.”

That made my heart flutter. I nodded quickly. “Okay. Dinners. Anything else?”

He ran his tongue over his lower lip and I wanted desperately to suck it into my mouth. “Yeah. One more thing I need to clarify.”

He was breathing harder and so was I. Was it warmer all of a sudden? “What’s that?”

“I don’t want you dating anyone else.”

It hadn’t even occurred to me. I had a hard enough time seeing him. Wait, was he planning on still dating? Or fucking? “This has to be a two-way street, buster.”

“Obviously,” he said and shook his head. “I just mean, if we’re going to do this, I want to really do this. You know?”

I nodded slowly, taking in the dark, almost possessive look in his eyes. I had a very primal reaction to that look—the kind that involved ripping off all our clothes. “Then yeah, I’m good with that arrangement.”

His lips twitched up into a smile. “Good. Then will you also go to a party with me on Friday after work?”

“Party? Normally Natalie and I go to a game.”

“Rays are on the road this weekend,” he said automatically.

“Then we go to a movie.” It was too soon to be ditching Natalie for a date.

“I have a sleepover!” she called from the kitchen. I was so caught up in Greg that I hadn’t noticed her get up for a drink. “So you two lovebirds should go to that party. I’ll be at Clarissa’s, remember?”

I looked at Greg. “Looks like we have a date.”

17

“I’ll see you there?” Jake poked his head into my office on his way out the door.

“Yep. Marie’s coming, too.”

Jake let out a low whistle. “So this is happening? Eve is gonna bust a nut.”

“Your wife has no nuts to bust,” I reminded him.

“Then she’s gonna blow a gasket, happy?”

“And why is that?” I knew they just wanted me to be happy and all, but it felt weird to have people all up in my business, even if it was Jake and Eve.

“Watch Eve and Marie tonight. I think you’ll figure it out for yourself.”

“What the fuck, man? Just tell me. I hate games.” I was always blunt for a reason.

Jake opened the door a little wider and leaned against the doorjamb with a goofy grin. “She’s lonely. I mean, I’m awesome,” Jake shrugged and waved his hands at himself like he was a prime specimen. “But most of the time she gets bored at these parties. Jennie doesn’t go to them so having Marie around more often means she has someone to suffer with.”

Jennie was Eve’s other best friend—other than me, of course. “Ah, so Eve only wants me to keep dating Marie so she can have a friend?”

Jake waved his hand at me and started to leave again. “See ya there. And try not to get thrown out again tonight.”

The last two cocktail hours we’d attended had ended up with me pretty damn drunk and belligerent. It wasn’t my fault I felt an incurable need to correct idiots when they were wrong. “I’ll have company with me, remember? I’ll be on my best behavior.”

“Still…”

I threw the tennis ball at him. He ducked away just in time and I heard him chuckling all the way out the front doors.

Thirty minutes later I pulled up to the curb outside Marie’s office building. Since the cocktail hour was at six, Natalie went home with Clarissa, and Marie stayed at work to get things off her docket for the weekend. I was a little bit nervous seeing the great and powerful Marie in her element for the first time. I didn’t often feel inadequate—and I wasn’t sure that was really what I was feeling now—it was more like a little voice in the back of my head was reminding me that I could never be good enough for her.

I rode the freakishly quiet elevator up to the twentieth floor where Bancroft Sports was housed. The doors slid open and a reception desk stood about twenty feet in front of me with a fresh faced twenty-something guy smiling at me with a stupid fake grin.

I guessed a dude receptionist made sense for a sports agency, but I was still a little surprised. Or maybe it was my old fashioned stereotype at play. I assumed most of the agents were men and that usually meant there would be a young, pretty receptionist for them to ogle. Of course, this was Marie’s office so I should have known better.

“How can I help you?” Thad was wearing a plastic lanyard with his name and picture on it.

“Greg Hamilton here for Marie Bancroft.”

Thad’s eyes widened and then gave me the once over. I glared back until he picked up the phone and called Marie. I was wearing my favorite blue Armani suit. I looked like a million fucking dollars. Thad better save his assessment for some other prick. “A Mr. Hamilton is here to see Miss Bancroft but he’s not on the schedule.” Thad hummed and then said, “I’ll bring him back.” He stood up and straightened his shirt. “Right this way, Mr. Hamilton.”

I wanted to tell the kid he could call me Greg, but I kind of liked keeping him on his heels.

The office was very nice, very posh. Massive windows made everything light and airy. Offices were partitioned with glass walls except for the back offices, which had wood paneled walls with large glass windows. Most of those had blinds drawn for privacy. I assumed the highest ranking agents and executives got those offices.

The office was still pretty busy, even for a Friday evening. Signed memorabilia was hung from most of the walls, along with massively blown-up photos of some of their most famous clients. I noticed that Marie was usually standing in the background of every single picture.

Thad opened the glass door at the very end of the hallway. The room was lined with bookcases and more memorabilia. An older woman in her fifties sat behind a desk. She looked up and smiled at Thad.

“Thank you so much for bringing him back.” She stood up and came over to shake my hand. “My name is Joan, I’m Miss Bancroft’s personal assistant.” She nodded at Thad who closed the glass door and trotted back to his desk. “Can I get you anything? Water? Whiskey?”

“Whiskey? Has Marie been telling you about me?”

Joan smiled warmly and I decided right then I really like her. “She alerted me to your personality and preferences.”

“Then yes, I’ll take a whiskey.”

“I’ll bring it right in. Miss Bancroft is on a phone call, but you can go in and wait.” Joan waved at the closed door before moving over to a bar on the wall.

“I can wait out here if it would be better.” My damn nerves were bothering me again. This uncertainty shit did not feel good. It made me feel really off kilter.

“No, no,” she shooed at me. “Miss Bancroft said you should go in.”

I swallowed and opened the heavy wood door. I don’t know what the hell I was expecting to see—maybe a dark study with Marie hunched over a massive desk, forehead in her hands, as she barked at someone on the phone—but that was pretty much the exact opposite of what I saw. The room was one giant wall of windows and bright as fuck. Her desk was very simple and modern with a massive flat screen monitor on the top and neat files spread out over most of the surface. She stood facing out the window with a phone to her ear and hand on her hip. I wasn’t even sure she heard me come in, so I quietly took a seat in one of the two chairs that sat opposite her desk.

“I want him, Emily. Pedro defecting to us would officially put Scott’s balls in a vice. Plus I want to stick it to him for that cunt remark.” She laughed at whatever Emily said. “Yeah, I’ll look into anger management classes after we get him to sign. What’s that?” she laughed again. It was a quiet, polite laugh—not the beautiful laugh I loved—but it was still good to hear her laugh. She turned and saw that I was there and smiled. “Hey Em? I need to go. But send him those cigars I emailed you about. Put my name on the card and tell him to call me, okay?”

A moment later she set the phone back on the desk. “Hey there.”

“Hey there. Nice to see you in your element.”

She moved around the desk to sit in the chair beside me, but I snagged her and pulled her into my lap instead. “What do you think of the Tampa branch of Bancroft Sports?”

“Very swanky,” I growled into her ear. I just needed one taste.

“You like to use the word ‘swanky’ with me,” she breathed as my tongue ran up the outer rim of her ear.

“I do. You are swanky. Your stuff is swanky. And your work is very swanky.” It was starting to sound like a dirty word. I might have to try it in bed tonight.

My cock twitched at the thought of being with Marie. It had been a long week. Not just at work—which had been insanely busy and I barely had time to eat two dinners with the girls—but being without her touch. There was something so addictively soothing about having Marie’s skin in contact with mine. I vowed right then to not let her go once we left the office.

The door opened and Joan quietly stepped inside with a tray and two glasses. “Don’t mind me at all. Just enjoy yourselves,” she chirped.

“Thank you, Miss Joan,” I replied as I kissed Marie lightly on the cheek. I wanted to come off as tender, not crass. “We will.”

Marie melted against my lips and I winked at Joan as she smiled at us. Yeah, I liked this. I liked this a lot. I could be tender and take things slow. I was only an asshole because that was how I survived my life. But nice and sweet had their definite upsides, too.

“A toast?” Marie asked, standing up and gathering our drinks. “To?”

“A nice night out,” I said simply. It didn’t need to be anything more than that.

“To a nice night out.”

We clinked glasses and took a sip. “Is this the Templeton?”

She smiled. “I really, really liked it so I bought a case.”

“You have some at home?” I suddenly had an image in my head of licking it off her skin.

“I do.”

“Don’t drink too much at the cocktail party. We’re drinking at home tonight.” Her eyes locked onto mine and she froze. Aw fuck, I’d done it again. I kept saying things that made it awkward. Home. Really? Why didn’t I just move myself in and dictate where and when she was allowed to consume alcoholic beverages?

I seriously needed to reign in my brain. “Well, I guess you can drink. I’m the one that wants to lick lots of whiskey off your gorgeous skin.”

I crossed my fingers and prayed I hadn’t gone and fucked the whole evening over. Luckily she let it go. “We’re taking your car, right? I haven’t eaten since eleven and this is going straight to my head.”

I set my half empty glass down on the tray beside her and leaned in for a kiss. “Not a problem. You get tipsy and I’ll stay sober. Want to have a little fun before we go?” I ran my hand up her thigh and she sighed.

“Yes, but no. As much as I’d love for you to do dirty things to me right now, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy it. Not with Joan just outside my door.”

“The car?”

“I think I’ve mentioned how tiny your car is before…”

“We can take yours. I’ll still drive.”

She shook her head at me, but she wasn’t upset. No actually, I was pretty sure she was turned on. “Just take me to this party and we’ll have fun when we get to my place.”

“Properly.” I stood up straight and held out my arm for her. “Shall we?”

I thoroughly enjoyed walking her out of the offices and right past Thad the Prick. It felt good to have Marie on my arm, like I’d won some sort of lottery. The cocktail party was going to be even better.

* * *

The cocktail party was awesome. It did not go unnoticed that Greg the Asshole came with the Marie Bancroft of Bancroft Sports. I say it like that because pretty much everybody I introduced her to said it like that. I guess when you’re in a room full of season ticket holding executives and politicians, knowing a major executive like Marie was pretty standard.

Even better than surprising everyone with my date, was the flirting we got to do. Maybe it was because she was in my world instead of hers, but Marie was much looser like she was when it was just the two of us. She grabbed my ass when no one was looking, made dirty jokes, and sent sex eyes from across the room on more than one occasion.

Fuck yeah.

And Jake was right—she and Eve were inseparable for a while. I felt bad that I’d never noticed how predominantly old and male these cocktail hours were. I mean, they were great for business, but holy fuck it would suck to be a woman at one of these things. Most of the men were drier than dry and most of the women preferred to talk about art fund raisers and the society pages—stuff I knew Eve in particular would rather stab herself in the leg than talk about.

Other than a lively conversation with the head of Urban Planning, she and Marie looked bored to tears.

But I liked how well they got along. It was almost like Marie was a missing piece of our group that we didn’t know was missing until she was there—and now I didn’t know how we’d ever worked without her.

“Howya feeling?” I was ready to head out and have fun alone.

“Tipsy, but good. You?”

“I only had two drinks all night. I’m very ready for some more.”

She grinned and leaned close enough to whisper in my ear. “And you’re really gonna lick it off me? Cuz that sounds…hot.” She breathed out that last word.

We left quickly, somehow getting to her house, finding the Templeton Rye, and getting naked in her bedroom in what seemed like five minutes flat.

“Where do you want me?” She didn’t have a single bit of clothing on her gorgeous body.

Everywhere. Damn how I wanted to feel and taste every single part of her. All at once and never enough. I poured a glass and stalked toward her. I backed her right into the bedroom wall. She looked nervous and excited. Her chest rose and fell in an erratic rhythm and her eyes were wide. I stopped when she had nowhere else to go and dipped my finger into the golden liquid, running it down her throat. “Stay there.”

She tipped up her chin, giving me all the access I needed, and I licked up every last drop of alcohol. It burned my lips and tongue and down my throat. “How was that?”

“It tingled a little,” her voice was throaty and aroused.

It was a nice sound indeed. “You let me know if it ever feels bad.”

She nodded and looked into my eyes. “Now what?”

I dipped my finger back in the glass and ran a drop between her breasts, licking it up before the liquid had a chance to get too far. She moaned and arched her hips into mine.

It was like we had the same needs buried deep inside us.

I needed her. And I needed to be what made her happy.

I held my finger over her nipple until the whiskey dropped onto the tip. She groaned like the whiskey was the good kind of bad, and then she moaned my name when I sucked her nipple into my mouth. She wrapped one leg around mine and pulled me against her at the same time she buried her hands in my hair. “Oh yes, more. Please, I want you to do that again.”

I did exactly what she asked, savoring every moment in the process. I really didn’t even need the whiskey. She was whiskey—flooding my veins and making me feel so good it hurt.

I tossed back the rest of the glass like a shot and then moved down her body until her other lips were against mine. I wondered if it would burn down there the way it did on her nipples.

“Shit, that’s good. Really good.” Her hips jerked and her fingers gripped my hair. It wasn’t the way she usually moved. Marie tended to be smooth and fluid in her movements—more of a roller. These jerks and sudden movements came from surprise. The good kind of surprise.

I licked and sucked at her until she was good and wet, then rolled on a condom and hiked her up against the wall because moving five feet to the bed was too far. I wanted to get lost inside her as fast as I possibly could.

She wrapped her legs around my waist and sank slowly down on my dick. Her back pressed against the wall and her hands gripped my hair and shoulder like a handle. I didn’t care if she ripped my damn hair out.

We took a moment to get used to each other all over again. Almost a week without my cock inside her was probably too long, but it was what she wanted so that was what I was doing. If I had it my way I’d be inside her every night. Marking my territory and reminding her how good I could make her feel when she let me.

Then I nailed her to the wall. At one point I got a little off balance and she reached out to steady herself on the dresser beside us. That was cool because then the dresser shook under her grip and my empty whiskey glass rattled all over the thing, threatening to fall off more than once. I kinda wanted to see if I could make it fall before she came, but then suddenly she was yelling my name and digging her nails into the back of my neck as she squeezed the ever living shit out of my waist and my dick.

It was kind of unreal how satisfying it was to hear her scream my name and see that drunken relaxed look in her eyes when she was done.

I did that.

Me.

I made her happy. I wanted to be the person who kept making her happy.

After sex we realized the appetizers at the party weren’t enough so I went out and got some last minute takeout at the Italian place up the street and we ate it in bed, drunk on sex and whiskey.

“What’s your favorite color?” Marie was definitely on the tipsy side, not that I cared. She was smiling and totally carefree. She held up her fork with a piece of lobster ravioli on the end and pointed it at me as she quizzed me.

Stark naked and in the middle of her bed, I might add.

“Red. You?”

She squinted like she had to seriously think about it. “Normally I say blue because I really do like it, but it’s not really my favorite, favorite.”

“Okay? No wait, that doesn’t make any sense. What?”

She blew the hair out of her face and rolled her eyes. “I don’t want to expose Natalie to any stupid gender stereotype shit so I always say my favorite color is blue, but honestly, I love pink.” She sat up and grabbed her glass, taking a long, slow sip.

I took the time to enjoy looking at her body. She had the kind of skin that was smooth without any tan lines which, in Florida, was a pretty impossible task. Her hair was messy from the fucking I’d given her. It was long and danced over her breasts as she shifted around. She looked like a goddess.

“There’s nothing wrong with pink. And I think Natalie is old enough that you can probably stop worrying about that stuff.”

She shrugged. “I don’t think I know how to turn that part of me off anymore.”

I cleared my throat and swirled the whiskey in my glass. “And what about work? Do you know how to turn that off?”

She cocked her head to the side and her hair tumbled down. “Excuse me?”

“When we first met you said it was your weekend off—like you needed an escape.”

Her mouth formed a soft “O”. “That’s kind of complicated to answer. Being a mom is different. That’s my world. Work isn’t. Even here in Tampa I’m still under Edward’s thumb. It’s really hard for me to turn that off because I never really know where the boundaries are.”

“That sounds complicated.” And hella awful. She made it sound like her job owned her.

“It’s…” she squinted her eyes and tried to figure out how to say what she was thinking, but in the end she threw up her hands. “It’s hard to explain. Bancroft Sports handles two billion dollars in contracts and I am the face of that company.”

I sat up straighter. “I’m sorry did you say two billion? With a B?”

She nodded. “Our commission sits in the neighborhood of one hundred million. We represent athletes in every major sport and most minor sports. My father made it his life’s mission to make our agency the largest, most successful, and most respected agency in the country. And we are, when it comes exclusively to sports.”

“Sports?”

“There are a couple of companies that also encompass actors and artists. They are larger than us.”

Well fuck me.

The naked woman I was staring at was Super Woman.

And I’d just made her come. I made Super Woman come.

I seriously needed to wipe the stupid smile off my face before she noticed, so I forced myself to look serious.

She took a breath and I knew the kicker was coming next. “Edward wanted my face, my image, and the idea of being an industry leader as a woman, to help drive us into the next twenty years. I have a very high pressure, very high profile job. A job that puts a roof over my kid’s head and gives her the future I want her to have.”

“It’s incredibly impressive, Marie. You’re shouldering a lot and you’re only thirty. I’d say it was wonderful if you didn’t sound so damn sad about it.”

“It’s not perfect, but nothing ever is,” she said quietly.

No. Nothing was perfect, but it didn’t have to be miserable either. I had my reasons for being the way I was, but I didn’t see how Marie could ever deserve to look as sad as she did right then.

“All I meant was that you’re different when we’re alone. I feel like you almost wear a costume that is that super crazy successful corporate mom. And then when you’re with me, you take the costume off and just have fun. You smile and babble—”

“I do not babble.”

“You babble.” I put a finger over her lips. “You’re looser and uninhibited. I like that I get to see that side of you and I worry that no one else does.”

“You’re different with me, too.”

I already knew that. “Just don’t let work eat you alive.”

She placed our takeout boxes on the floor and curled up on my chest. I turned out the light and was struck by how incredibly normal it all felt.

Maybe it was because we were at her place instead of mine, or maybe it was simply because I’d decided to ignore everything except the moment we were in. Either way, I liked it.

“Good night, Marie.”

“Good night,” she whispered back. Her breathing evened out and I assumed she was asleep, which was stupid on my part, because it scared the hell out of me when she suddenly spoke. “What are you hiding from?”

“Ghosts,” I replied before I thought about what I was saying.

She stiffened and then curled around me even more than she already was. I ran my fingers through her hair, staring into the dark and wondering if she was going to ask any more questions.

She didn’t. But hell, it got my mind going.

I didn’t deserve any of this. Not the business or the money, not Jake and Eve, certainly not a woman like Marie. If there was one thing I knew with absolute certainty, it was that I deserved to be miserable and alone for the rest of my life.

But I didn’t know how much more I could stand. The memories had been hitting me harder and faster than usual. Almost as much as the years right after the accident. God, those years had sucked. It was like all I did was constantly relive those hours—like I was caught in a loop I couldn’t escape. If there was such a thing as purgatory on earth, it was called PTSD and regret.

The one thing I could not let happen was to ever hurt anyone ever again—like the woman who was sleeping in my arms. I couldn’t hurt her or Natalie. The moment I thought I might be bad for them I’d leave. But for now…for just a little while, I wanted to enjoy what I had.

Those were the thoughts running on a loop in my head as I walked back into my cold, empty condo on Sunday night. It was a lonely, dark pit compared to Marie’s warm house. It made it very obvious that what I had been doing was not living.

I’d been hiding out for too long.

I thought about Jake—how he’d been hiding out, but now he was happy, married to a great woman, and having the time of his life. I knew when I pushed him that he would be able to have all of that. He fought me and promised that I was wrong—but in the end he’d taken a chance and now his old life was nothing but a ghost.

A dark and disturbing ghost, but a ghost nonetheless.

Was I just like Jake or was I different? Could I have all that good shit if I gave it a chance? Or was my story a different one altogether?

God, how I wanted there to be hope for me. If that were the case, then a year from now I might be looking back on this moment like it were a ghost in my past.

And I really, really liked that idea.

18

“You’re thinking,” Natalie stated flatly as she threw herself down on the couch beside me.

“I’m watching TV.”

“You’re watching the pilot for Battlestar Gallactica. You’re thinking.”

I scowled at her and then realized for the last hour I’d been staring at the television, but not really watching it. She was right—I was thinking. “Is this a thing I do that I don’t know about?”

She shrugged. “I guess. You always turn on the pilot episode when you want to sit and kind of think for a while.”

“Well, it’s a really good pilot.”

“Pretty much the best,” she agreed. We sat and watched as Laura Roslin realizes she is the highest ranking remaining member of the cabinet. It was interesting watching Apollo realize it, too, and the way he automatically respected her despite the fact that she was the “Education Secretary”.

“I can relate to the show,” I finally said.

“It takes place in a future ruled by Cylons bent on destroying humanity, Mother. How do you relate to this exactly?”

Every once in a while it felt good to know something Natalie didn’t. When it came to books she could wipe the floor with me and everyone else, but when it came to television and movies, we were in my domain. “Take away the Cylons and what do you have? A complicated series about relationships and personal journeys. The women in this series have depth to them. They kick ass—the president is a woman and Starbuck is a chick. I really relate to the president,” I said more wistfully than I intended. But I did. She was one of my favorite characters and it was almost comforting to feel like I was less alone in the world. If they wrote a character like her then that must mean there are women out there like me.

“Does that make Greg ‘The Old Man’, because that would be too perfect. I already call him that.”

“He can be my General Adama if he’s up for it,” I said quietly.

“You don’t think he’s up for it?”

“I honestly don’t know.” We’d been quietly dating for two months now. I’d given him a few pieces of my life but he’d held everything about his close to the chest. I still felt like I barely knew him.

Natalie stewed on that for a few moments. “Okay, truth time. Spill it. You’re pondering something over there.” I stared at her and she rolled her eyes. “I’m thirteen going on thirty, remember?”

“Fine. The biggest thing I’m over here debating is how to tell you to not get too attached to Greg.”

I hated the way her face fell. She was already pretty damn attached to having him be more than the guy who made fun of her books every afternoon. “Why do you say that?”

“Call it intuition.”

“You think he’s playing games with us?” Natalie already sounded hurt and Greg hadn’t done a thing. I should have gone slower…she was absolutely going on thirty, but she was definitely still thirteen. It was one thing to put my heart out there, but quite another to put hers on the line, too.

“No. I think he’s genuinely enjoying dating me and hanging out with you. I think he wants to be happy and right now, he’s happy.”

“But?”

“But life is more complicated than that. Wanting to be happy and actually being happy are two different things.”

Natalie looked down and started picking at her nails. “Or maybe you grownup types make life more complicated than it needs to be.”

“I’m sure we do, but we’re doing the best that we can. And I want you to understand that it might mean our best isn’t good enough.”

“Why?”

The “why” stage never really ends when you have an intellectual child. “I see a man who’s never had a relationship before—”

Natalie cleared her throat loudly. “Pot, meet kettle.”

“I know I’m not one to talk, but he’s different. I think he’s testing out this idea that he can be different. I’m happy for him, but I don’t like being a test case. I don’t like you being a test case. I’m afraid that when things get complicated he’s going to bolt.”

“Complicated how?”

I smiled and pulled her hands into mine. At the rate she was going her nails were going to be gone before the end of the conversation. “We all have burdens and things from our past. Some of us can’t let those things go, for some reason. It’s like…” I searched for the best way to describe the indescribable. “It’s like that guy from mythology, the one who’s always pushing a boulder up a hill.”

“Sisyphus.”

I knew she’d know. “Okay, it’s like Sisyphus. There’s a reason those myths stuck, they are perfect metaphors for real life. Some of us end up pushing a boulder uphill for years—or even the rest of our lives. Sometimes it’s a punishment like it was for Sisyphus, and sometimes it’s because we can’t see past the damn boulder for long enough to realize there is no point in pushing the damn thing up the dumb hill.”

Natalie scrunched up her face as she tried to understand what I was saying. “Am I your boulder?”

“Oh God, no. Don’t ever think that. If anything, you’re pushing the boulder with me.”

She grinned at that. “I got your back, even if you are pushing it for no reason. I hope you listen to me when I tell you what you can’t see.”

Yeah, I was pretty sure I was the one pushing the boulder simply because I couldn’t see around it. I was very glad I had Natalie and Grace to help me see around it. Hopefully one day I’d let the boulder go.

Unfortunately, I had a very strong suspicion that it wasn’t the same for Greg. I had a feeling deep in my gut that his boulder was a punishment.

One that he would never find a way around.

* * *

“To Emily!” I raised a bubbling glass of champagne along with five of my top agents and of course, Emily.

She blushed, but she also had that smug smile of triumph and a twinkle in her eye. Landing Pedro Sanchez as her latest client pretty much secured her place in the big leagues of sports agents. It also put Bancroft Sports in all the headlines.

“The cigars worked. Pedro called me as soon as he got them and told me to send over the contracts.” She shook her head. “How did you know?”

It was my turn to blush. I didn’t usually reveal my secrets—I found it tended to make me more mysterious and powerful to everyone else. They made up their own stories. Some of them were true and some of them weren’t, but they never knew which ones were which. “I know Pedro. The cigars were a private message.”

Emily raised an eyebrow. “I’m officially his agent now. Shouldn’t I know these secrets in order to keep him happy?”

“He’s your client now,” I agreed. “Learn what he likes. Hopefully you’ll never need to call me in to pinch hit again.”

Emily shook her head at me, but let it go. Thankfully she knew better than to push me—all that would do is piss me off and she still wouldn’t know that the cigars remind Pedro of the night he met his wife, and that his wife means everything to him. It was also a reminder that his wife and I are friends and he’d be taken care of in my agency. Subtle hints are often the most effective.

“Miss Bancroft? You have a call.” Joan gently touched my arm. I groaned inwardly knowing that she would only approach me so carefully about a call if it were my father.

“Thank you Joan. I’ll be right there.” He was probably calling about Pedro and that meant this wasn’t going to be a short phone call. I took a moment and said goodbye to Emily and everyone else, gulped down a second glass of champagne, and gave Joan a tired smile as I closed my office door.

“Hello Edward. How are you?”

“Very, very good. I see you pulled it off. Good work.” He was clipped and cold, as usual.

“Emily did most of the work.”

“Never defer credit, Marie. I taught you better than that.”

Since he couldn’t see me, I rolled my eyes and gave him the finger. “Is there a reason for this call?”

The line was unbearably quiet for a moment and I started to panic. Oh God, there was a reason for this call. “I’ll be flying in next Monday and staying through Wednesday. I haven’t been down to see our Tampa offices for nearly six months and I’d like to see my granddaughter.”

I really wished the earth would open up and swallow me whole. “That’s wonderful news. I’ll have Joan get your office in order.”

“Thank you. And I’d like to see a game or two…”

Of course he did. “I’ll have Joan make the arrangements.” Poor Joan.

“Dinner as well. Will you and Natalie be free?”

What was with the third degree? Normally my father announced his arrival, forced us through one cold dinner, drank his way through a game, and left almost as fast as he arrived. It was awkward, but quick. “It’s a school week, so yes.”

“What about your gentleman friend? Greg is it?”

And there it was. Greg and I had been in the papers last week. He’d accompanied me to a big party with several of our baseball clients and before I knew what was happening, a photographer had not only taken our picture, but managed to get it placed fairly prominently in several publications. Not the kind of magazines the public cared about—the kind executives cared about.

Edward wanted to assess Greg’s viability and worth. Lovely.

“I will ask, but I’m sure if you want to meet him then he’ll make the time.” My voice sounded as fake and forced as I felt. I did not want my father here and I most certainly did not want to introduce him to Greg. The poor guy didn’t need the torture of sitting through a meal with one of the coldest men in existence.

“Good. That’s what I like to hear. I’ll forward Joan my flight and hotel details. See you Monday.”

“See you Monday.” My skin was already prickling in protest. My armor was going up and so was the incessant need to become something else. I was never quite sure what I was supposed to be, I just knew I wasn’t it. I had to fake it for everyone, but for my father more than anyone else. I hated feeling this way and I always ended up miserable and nauseous.

But there wasn’t anything I could do to stop it, so instead I tried to ignore it. I picked up my phone and invited Greg to a cold family dinner instead.

* * *

Natalie shrieked from her bedroom down the hallway. I fell on my way to see what the hell was happening, but when I got there I realized she was happy, not hurt.

“Dad’s coming to visit!” she shrieked again, jumping up and down in front of her laptop. I could see Brandon grinning all the way from Paris.

“Hey, Ree. I know I should have cleared it with you first, but is it all right if I come visit next week?”

I collapsed on the bed in front of the laptop while Natalie hopped around her bedroom like a kid. I loved moments like this: when she actually acted her age.

Although I could use a little less enthusiasm for a few minutes.

“What is with next week? Are you and my father conspiring to drive me insane?”

Brandon genuinely looked surprised. “Edward is going to be in town too?”

“Monday through Wednesday.”

“Well this will be…not as much fun as I thought it was going to be.”

At least Brandon got it. “Sorry to rain on your parade. But you’re still more than welcome to visit. What’s the big occasion?”

“We’re considering opening a few stores in the States. I’m flying in to cover a couple meetings and look at some locations.”

“About time you guys dipped your toes back in the American waters.”

He scowled at me. “As if America has been a viable market for the last five years…”

I shrugged, giving him a hard time simply because it was fun. “Scaredy pants.”

“Smarty pants is more like it. We spent the last five years building a robust line, testing our products, and accruing more than enough capital to keep us solvent regardless of what happens to our new stores in the States. Smart,” he repeated for emphasis.

“If that’s what helps you sleep at night. When are you coming?”

“Wednesday. Leave Saturday night. Sorry kiddo, it’s a quick trip this time. Can I sleep at your place?”

I bit my lip. Brandon usually stayed with us so he could maximize time with Natalie without disturbing her too much. But I’d also never had a boyfriend when Brandon visited.

“Marie?”

“I’m thinking!”

“Marie…what’s going on?”

“Mom has a boyfriend,” Natalie replied for me, sticking her face in front of mine so she could see Brandon. “His name’s Greg and he’s super awesome.”

“Oh really? And this Greg might not want me spending time with my daughter?”

“Not in your boxers.”

Natalie glared at me. “Seriously Mom?”

I glared at her. “I told you grownups complicate things. I wasn’t lying.”

“Of course you’re staying with us! And why would Greg mind?” Natalie asked.

Brandon laughed. “I’m not sure if you can remember back this far…you were just an egg at the time, but your mother and I have had intimate relations before. That tends to complicate things when it comes to boyfriends, kiddo.”

“Ew! And that was over thirteen years ago. And you two obviously don’t want to be like that so…what’s the problem?” she repeated.

I loved her black and white logic. I just hoped Greg would, too.

“Look, he’s coming over for dinner any minute so I can explain the Edward situation. I’ll just heap this onto the top of the pile, okay? Plan on sleeping here unless I send you an email saying otherwise.”

“Ouch. You’re going to have fun at dinner. Have I ever mentioned how incredibly brave you are?”

I laughed as I stood up to leave. “Many times actually. I seem to remember that you were too scared to tell Edward that you’d knocked me up. Thanks for that.”

Brandon groaned as I left the room.

I was just pouring a glass of wine when Greg came in with Italian for dinner. I’d never done this whole boyfriend meeting the father thing before…well, not since Brandon. It felt huge, not just because it was the two men in my life meeting, but because of Greg. He’d never done this before. He was incredibly happy with me and Natalie and he had been a model (albeit crass) boyfriend. But he was about to get logjammed by both my father and my baby daddy. If anything was going to scare the pants off of him, it was those two.

Nothing like a great big heaping dose of reality to see if you have what it takes to be in a relationship.

“So I got the regular ravioli for Nat and the lobster ravioli for you again. You seem to really like it.”

“I do.” I tried to see if his eyes looked any different. Any hesitation or doubts, but he looked totally normal.

“I got an extra order of the garlic knots, too. I didn’t get one last time.”

“Yeah, Natalie went a little nuts on them.”

He stopped in the middle of placing a box on the table and laughed. “That’s putting it mildly. I think she might have inhaled one into her lung.”

God, he was cute when he exaggerated. “So I have more news,” I drawled.

“Should I drink before this next round?”

“Yes,” I said, turning to the bottle of whiskey sitting on the counter.

“Meeting your father really isn’t that big of a deal, babe. We’re together, it was bound to happen.”

I gave him a look that told him he had no idea what he was talking about. “I fear for your sanity. And mine.”

“I can be charming when I want to be.”

He most certainly could. “I don’t think you’re going to feel charming once my father gets going. He has a way of,” I waved my whiskey laden hand through the air before placing it in front of Greg, “bringing out the worst in people. Knowing you the way I do, you’ll be cussing up a storm within five minutes of meeting him.”

“You want to place a bet on that?” His eyes gleamed.

I leaned over the table, my shirt opening to reveal an eyeful of cleavage. “I’ll bet you one orgasm.”

“Five minutes?”

I nodded, impressed that he was keeping his eyes on me instead of my breasts.

“Deal. But you better be ready to pay.”

A jolt of electricity coursed through me as images of licking down his cock filled my head. Oh, I’d happily pay up if I was wrong. Very happily.

“Did you tell him about Dad?” Natalie slid into her seat and had a garlic knot in her mouth before I had a chance to take a breath.

Greg’s eyes widened and he took a drink. “What about Brandon?”

I stood up and smiled. “So, as I was saying…I have more news.”

“Dad’s coming to visit next week!” Natalie exclaimed with a disgusting mouthful of bread.

So much for subtlety. I couldn’t blame her though. She was excited to see her dad.

“So you get to meet him next week, too. If you’re up for it.” I didn’t want to drop the other bomb until he’d at least finished the whiskey in his hand.

“I’d love to meet the guy who helped make this kid.” He winked at Natalie who grinned even bigger. Some garlic knot actually fell out of her mouth. “How long is he in town for?”

I sat down beside Greg and refilled his glass, pushing it up toward his lips. “Wednesday to Saturday, so we’ll go straight from the crazy to the other crazy.”

He eyed me carefully, taking the sip I was so strongly suggesting he take. “And where is he staying?”

“Drink, drink.” I pushed at the bottom of the glass.

“Marie. Is he staying here?”

“Yes. He usually stays in the guest room when he visits, but I told him I needed to discuss it with you first.”

Greg shrugged. “He’s Natalie’s dad, I can’t believe this is even a question.”

“Are you sure?” I don’t know why I was so positive Greg was going to blow a gasket over this, or why it worried me, for that matter. But I had been holding my breath this whole time.

“Of course I’m sure. What kind of asshole do you think I am? Wait, don’t answer that.”

He shook his head and set the glass down, leaning over and taking my face in his hand. “I want what’s best for Natalie, and spending as much time with her father who lives in another country is the best thing for her.” Then he kissed me firmly on the lips.

“Well, I’m happy you are so civilized. I don’t think most men are…”

He grinned one of his cocky grins and a hard look came over his eyes. “Oh, I’ll be jealous as shit the whole time he’s here. And I can guarantee I won’t be charming with him. I’ll probably be a genuine asshole until we feel each other out.”

I rolled my eyes. Of course they were going to have a pissing contest. “You two can be as juvenile and pig headed as you wish, just leave us,” I waved at Natalie and me, “out of it.”

Dinner was quiet. Well, it was for me. Natalie rattled on and on about Edward and Brandon. She answered all of Greg’s questions and started musing about what she wanted to do with her dad. I watched Greg for a while, but he genuinely seemed excited and interested.

So what was my problem? If Greg was fine, then maybe I wasn’t really worried about him. Maybe I was worried about me and blaming it on him because it was obvious and easy to do.

Brandon and Edward in the same week.

They were my past and Greg was my present, but I had no idea where we were going. I still knew nothing about his past. It was hard to ignore all the things that meant when my past was staring me in the face.

19

I never in a million years would have thought a bubble bath on a Saturday morning was a good idea. But Marie stripped naked and slid beneath the hot bubbles and my dick commanded I get my ass in that tub. It was actually pretty awesome. The hot water was relaxing and the naked siren between my legs was rubbing her soft skin against my erection so…yeah, baths were okay in my opinion, as long as they included her.

Natalie slept at Clarissa’s again, so we had the house to ourselves for a couple more hours and Marie wanted to make the most of it. I was okay with that.

I ran my finger across her back, watching the bubbles pop and merge before dripping down her skin. This was nice. Like, really, really nice. I’d never done anything like this in my life.

It made me realize how short my time with Jenn was and how long my life had been empty. I wish I could make sense of this shit, but no matter how hard I thought about it, I came back to the same conclusion: life wasn’t fair and it fucking sucked. There was also nothing I could ever do to change what happened.

I loved Jenn and I always would.

But I also loved Marie.

I knew what love was and what I felt toward Marie was love. Deep, earth shattering, life changing, I’d do anything for her or Natalie, love.

It was tearing me apart, piece by piece. I knew what I was feeling, but my mind didn’t understand it. I’d already fallen in love. Lightning doesn’t strike twice.

And I didn’t deserve to fall in love again. I knew that. The love stuff could confuse me all it wanted to, but when it came to punishment I knew exactly where the lines were drawn.

I did not deserve to be happy.

I dug my thumb into Marie’s shoulder muscle. It didn’t give at all; she was still as stiff as a board. I pushed harder, coaxing her muscle to relax. “Are you okay?”

She shook her head.

“What’s wrong?”

The silence that followed was painful and it got all my protective instincts going.

“This has been nice. These last couple of months,” she finally said.

I was such a selfish bastard. If I wasn’t so fucking selfish I never, ever would have kept seeing Marie. But I liked being around her. I liked the way I felt.

But I’d known all along that I could never be what she needed and staying was selfish. It only made leaving her harder for both of us.

“Yes, they have been.” I wished things could stay just like they were.

More silence. I kept trying to get the muscle to give.

“You know how I said I can’t have maybes in my life?” she finally said.

“Yeah?”

“This next week? This is why.” Her finger traced the scar on my wrist. Back and forth, over and over.

“I don’t follow, Marie.” Did it matter? She was saying she needed my useless ass out of her way. My selfish indulgence period was over.

I wasn’t ready for it to be over and I suddenly realized I was willing to do anything to keep this for a little while longer. I’d take scraps if that’s what she would give me.

“I don’t think you’re going to like me very much for the next week,” she mumbled.

Her muscle got stiffer and I finally stopped focusing on myself. I squeezed her shoulders. “What’s going on?”

I could feel the pain radiating off of her now that I was paying attention. Marie was stiff everywhere. She was miserable.

“I don’t handle my father very well.”

My Marie? Strong, seductive, picked me up using my own game, Marie? “I find it hard to believe you have trouble handling anything.” But her conversation with Jake came screaming back into my head and I knew things with Edward had to be much more complicated than I realized.

Her shoulders relaxed a little. Not much, but a little. Like my confidence in her made a difference somehow.

“We all have our weaknesses. This is definitely mine. I just wanted you to know that I’ll be different and you probably won’t like it. You might want to lay low and just wait this out.”

No. The word knocked me on my ass and I reacted without thinking. I pulled Marie back against me and wrapped my arms around her. She needed me and I sure as hell wasn’t going anywhere.

“You need to relax,” I whispered in her ear. She was only stiff for another second and then she melded against me, following my command.

My Marie was slipping away. She was like a puppet, putting on an act and following commands instead of thinking for herself.

“I’m not going anywhere,” I assured her.

Marie needed my help. She wasn’t coming right out and asking for it, in fact I was pretty sure she’d deny it if I asked, but she needed it and I was sure as hell gonna be the one to help her.

“Greg…this is your chance to walk away. Do you understand that?”

I needed to walk away. I knew that. But Marie kept tracing my scar. My past and my present were touching in that exact moment and it was tearing everything I knew apart. I didn’t have any answers and I sure as shit didn’t know what the right thing to do was. All I did know was that Marie was hurting and I couldn’t let that happen.

“I hear what you’re saying.”

“Then why are you still here?” she whispered.

I stared at the back of her bare neck. The bubbles were gone, but her damp hair clung to her skin. This beautiful, delicate, incredibly strong woman was in my hands. My hands. I didn’t deserve her, but she didn’t deserve to have me walk away and abandon her to the pain she was feeling.

“Because I don’t want to leave,” I whispered back. “I’ve tried, you know. I’m not good for you or for Natalie. I ruin things. I don’t want to hurt you but, for the life of me, every time I try to leave you, I can’t do it.”

My hands started shaking. I didn’t know what I was doing or saying. Someone else was moving my lips. The words coming out weren’t calculated or planned. They just came out.

Marie turned herself between my legs so that she was facing me with her knees pulled up to her chest. “Why? Why can’t you leave?”

I reached out and ran my hand through a piece of her damp hair. She was so perfect. So real. “You make me feel alive again.”

There were tears in her eyes as she stared at me. I didn’t know if she was breaking up with me or sad for me, maybe it was both. Then she took my hand and turned it over. “This scar. Where did it come from?”

“A car accident,” I said automatically.

“A bad one?” Her eyes stayed steady on me. Not judging, not demanding, but definitely waiting for the truth.

I took her finger and traced the scar with it just like she’d been doing a few seconds ago. “Very bad. This is my only scar. The glass cut the shit out of me.” The rest were hidden inside.

The accident cut my soul in two.

“What else?”

I leaned back and to the side so that my tattoo was visible above the water. I traced the symbol with her finger, and then ran it across the words written in Gaelic. Her eyes followed the path I traced, and her touch burned all the way down to what was left of my soul.

“My fiancée died in that accident.”

She grabbed her hand back. I didn’t blame her. It was a shock to me every time I said it, so it couldn’t be easy for someone else to hear.

“Oh my God,” she whispered. “Greg?”

I couldn’t look at her as I explained. I just…couldn’t. “The tattoo is to remember her. She’d just gotten her degree in Celtic history. She was a nut for that old English shit.”

“What does it say?”

I looked at it, remembering exactly how it felt when I got it drilled into my skin. I’d hoped the pain would help, but it didn’t. “I miss you.”

Marie didn’t move or say anything and I didn’t have the will power to look up and see what she was feeling. If it was sympathy, it would probably kill me. If it was disgust, well…the answer was still the same.

“I’m sorry this happened to you.” She placed her hand on my knee and the combination of the contact and the words jolted me back into the present.

“To me?”

“Yes, to you,” she said. “To her. To both of you. She lost her life and…” Her voice disappeared and I finally looked up.

She shook her head. “And I think you did, too. I am so sorry.”

I couldn’t do this. I hauled myself out of the water and grabbed a towel.

“Greg?”

“What?” I snapped. I didn’t mean to. The last thing I wanted was to drag Marie into hell with me.

She stood up and grabbed the other towel. “Nothing. Go take a walk or a drink, or whatever it is you need right now.”

What I wanted to do was to explode. But the hurt look on Marie’s face put that out pretty fast. I never wanted to see that look ever again. I dropped my towel and grabbed her instead. “I don’t want a drink. I want you.”

She stared at me, the towel only partially around her breasts, her hands clutching it like a lifeline. I’d just dropped a massive bomb on her and here she was worried about me. She constantly surprised me and never did what I thought she was going to do.

“You have me.” She stepped out of the bath, dropped her towel, and put her arms around my neck.

I carried her into the bedroom and laid her on the bed, toweling her off as best I could. There were so many things I didn’t understand in that moment, and one thing I knew without a doubt. I needed Marie. Her eyes made me forget that I was worthless. Her smile made me think I might be worth saving. Her touch gave me peace. I wanted to get lost inside her and be one with the only thing that made sense in my life.

“Greg?”

I buried my nose in her hair. “Yeah?”

“Let me do this?”

I froze and pulled back to look at her eyes. “What?”

“Fuck you. Make love to you. Whichever it is you’re looking for.” Her fingers gripped the hair at the back of my head, forcing me to look at her. I nodded and rolled to the side.

We didn’t say anything. Not one fucking word. It was the quietest sex we’d ever had. But holy hell did we say a lot with everything else. She didn’t just look at me, she saw me. All of me. Inside and out. Broken and useless. She kissed me and made me feel good. Her fingers were everywhere and her tongue followed.

I got lost inside her body and her eyes because I saw her, too. The woman who was only truly herself when she was with me.

The woman who needed me to want her just the way she was—no conditions or strings attached to my desire.

She rode me with her hands around my face and her breath on my skin until the only thing left was her, me, and this exact moment when nothing else mattered except that I saw her, and she saw me, for exactly who we were.

* * *

“How does this change things?” Marie whispered against my skin. She was curled into my side again. We were both naked and dazed by everything that had just happened, but the words were finally starting to come out.

“I don’t know.” I honestly didn’t. Ever since meeting Marie I felt like I didn’t know a damn thing anymore. Maybe I never did.

“How do you really feel about me? And Natalie. Don’t give me what I want to hear, I need to know where we stand.” The edge to her voice broke my heart. It was the same when she talked about Edward. She was putting her defenses up and the last thing I ever wanted was for her to feel threatened by me.

“Sit up.” I wanted her to see everything I was thinking and feeling. “My life has been pointless for a long, long time.” I took her small hand in mine and studied every vein and line in her skin. “And then I met you. I woke up. I felt again. I don’t know what to do with it all—I don’t even know what most of it is. It just takes over and I try my damnedest to not hurt you along the way. It’s a shitty, shitty way to do things and sure as fuck isn’t fair to you.”

I wasn’t a man. I was a ghost. I was nothing.

But Marie? Marie was everything.

She turned my hand over and traced my scar again. It was crazy how much my heart hurt when she did that.

Then she got up on her knees and leaned forward, taking my face in her hands.

This was it. This was going to be our last kiss.

She silently pressed her lips against mine and time stopped, just like it did every single time she kissed me.

“Have you ever felt anything like that before?” she whispered, pulling back just enough to look at me.

I shook my head. “No. Never.” Her kisses tore me apart in the best way possible. “I know you have a lot of questions, and I probably don’t know most of the answers,” I said. “But I can tell you that no one has ever kissed me the way you kiss me. And no one has ever made me feel the way you make me feel.”

Marie nodded her head quickly, my face still between her palms, her body close, but not touching mine. “I don’t understand it either, but I think I know what you mean.”

I smiled. “Damn fucking straight no one kisses you like I do.” And that was the other thing I could never figure out: the possessive primal urge to possess Marie each and every time the idea of another man entered my mind.

Just like when I saw her with Kevin Rogers at the restaurant that first weekend, I wanted to kill any man that came near her. Marie was mine.

Her fingers curled into the back of my hair and she moved into my lap. “Damn fucking straight.” And then she kissed me so hard that I forgot my own damn name.

20

I grabbed a very surprised Grace by the wrist and dragged her into the back office of her coffee shop. “What the hell?” she shrieked as I slammed the door.

The world was spinning a little. I was having a panic attack.

“Marie? You look like shit. What’s happened? Is Natalie okay?”

I pressed my back into the door for support and slid to the ground. “His fiancée died.” I pushed my fingers into my hair. “He’s been in love before. And she died.”

The room was freakishly silent for a few moments and I felt the weight of it all crashing in on me. The man I was falling hopelessly in love with had already loved another woman.

Grace sat beside me on the floor and pressed her shoulder against mine—giving me room, but also being close. “Greg?”

I nodded.

“How long ago?”

Did he tell me that? Did I ask? I was too in shock to ask for details. Details I didn’t want to know. I shrugged my shoulders.

“So that explains the mystery of Mr. Greg Hamilton. I always figured it was something big to make a man like that so miserable. Fuck. That’s major.”

I nodded some more and tears started leaking out of my eyes.

“He’s one of them.” Grace said. She sounded happy. Why did she sound happy?

I looked up and wiped the tears away. “What?”

Grace cocked her head to the side and smiled at me. “He’s one of the good guys. The big manly men who have great big giant hearts hidden inside. When they break, they break. But when they love, oh man do they love.”

That was Greg to a tee. I’d known it from the beginning, but I had no idea this was why he protected himself so fiercely. I nodded some more as tears kept leaking out of my eyes. I felt like I was being stripped apart, like a car in a chop shop.

Grace slid her arm around my shoulders and let me cry on her for a few minutes. I couldn’t have stopped if I wanted to. Once I let go I had to get it all out of my system. After a while Grace got up and found a box of tissues, shoving them at me by the fistful.

“You’re so lucky,” she joked. “You look kind of pretty when you cry. I look like James Van der Beek.”

The image of Dawson crying immediately made me smile and knocked me out of my downward freak-out spiral. “That’s pretty bad.”

Grace nodded. “It is. I try never to cry in front of anyone. It’s for the good of all.”

I shook my head and took a few calming breaths. I felt a thousand times better now that I’d freaked the fuck out.

Fuck.

I was even thinking in Greg’s swear words now. He had seeped into every part of my life, even my word choices.

God damn I liked that guy.

“So Greg’s been in love before, and lost her. Why are you crying?”

“He’s mine!” I wailed as the tears started streaming out of my eyes all over again. The ferocity with which the words erupted scared the crap out of me.

Grace’s eyes went wide. “Oh. Wow.”

I nodded and cried some more. Seriously, how did I still have water in my body?

“Oh sweetie…” She sat back down on the ground and wrapped me in another big hug until I got a grip.

I shook my head and forced myself to talk between really over-the-top sobs. “I don’t understand it. I don’t. I just know when he told me, I felt like I’d been stabbed with a knife. I felt like I was dying. He’s not allowed to love anyone but me.”

She shook her head and pushed my head back down on her shoulder. “You and Natalie are so much alike. You act like the mature, stoic, overly practical one and let Natalie look young and idealistic, but she gets it straight from you.”

I sat up and scowled at Grace. “What?”

“You have a very simplistic, fairytale, young and idealistic view of love, my dear. You are looking for your one true love.”

“I am not.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “You may not think you are, but you are. Love isn’t that simple. There is great love, there is true love, there are soul mates, but you are limiting yourself into a box you will never be happy inside if you think we are all destined to find only one true epic love.”

“Excuse me?” When did Grace become the love guru? She was a heartbroken single woman who was scarred from her last relationship. She had one-night stands and avoided relationships like the plague. She was not the soothsayer of love.

“What are you and me? Are we soul mates? No. Maybe not. But you’re my sister and I love you more than life itself.”

Okay, so I was a bitch. “I love you, too.”

“And Natalie? You love her, too. There isn’t a more perfect pair.”

I frowned. “A mother’s love isn’t the same thing as romantic love.”

“Isn’t it? They’re different and the same. You would lay down your life for her. She gets things about you that the rest of us never will. Is Greg your soul mate? I don’t know, but I do know he gets you in a way none of the rest of us do. You two share something unique and special. I’ll be the first to say I was a skeptic when you started dating him, but then I saw you two together…”

“What are you saying?”

Images of Greg kissing me, holding me, whispering sweet words into my ear flashed through my mind. He was special. So very special to me.

And if I let myself stop freaking out for long enough I knew I did the same thing to him. I was special to him. But what the heck did it mean?

“When you love someone with everything you have. When you care more about them than you do yourself. When being without them is the worst form of loneliness you’ve ever felt. They become part of you, and you become part of them, so that you don’t really make sense without them anymore. That’s love. And all I’m saying is that you can love many people in your life, in different ways at different times, and loving someone else can’t ever take that away.”

For the first time since the bath, I felt like there was some solid ground under my feet. I didn’t totally understand everything Grace was saying, but it was making some sense.

“You think I’m overreacting?”

She chuckled and patted me on the back. “I think you’re getting ready for Edward.”

“What does Edward have to do with Greg’s fiancée?”

Now that I wasn’t dying inside I realized my ass was asleep. I worked my way back up onto my feet and into a chair. I cleaned up my face again and Grace got us some water.

“Sweetie, I love you to death, but you’re like a pregnant woman nesting before she gives birth. When Edward comes to town you work your ass off trying to get everything in order. You put us all in neat little boxes—it’s how you make sense of the world. I get it, Nat gets it. We let you do your thing because this is how you cope. But you’ve never had a Greg around before and he does not fit inside a box. Not any box, ever.”

Wasn’t that the truth? It was also a huge part of why he made such a huge impact on me from the moment I met him. I loved his uniqueness. I adored the way he tore into my life and left everything I’d so carefully arranged a mess in his wake.

He shook me up in all the very best ways.

“So what you’re saying is that I’m getting ready for Edward—and Greg wasn’t going to work with my plans anyway—but then he dropped that bomb and blew everything to high hell?”

“Yeah,” Grace smiled. “Just like he usually does. You can put us all in order and plan every minute of Edward’s stay when it’s just you, but now you’ve got that big dumb oaf in your life. I think if he’d told you about his past any other time it would have been big, but because he told you now, you made it huge. Much bigger than you would have otherwise.”

I wasn’t so sure about that, I was pretty sure Greg having been in love before was going to tear me in two no matter when he told me, but I could see where Grace was coming from. I knew she was right about a lot of things. I did like to get things in order to cope with how Edward made me feel. And little things do tend to become big things when I’m this worked up.

“Thanks for loving me.” I looked up at Grace who shook her head and rolled her eyes.

“Your house at five?”

I was on my way to pick up Natalie from her sleepover and then everyone was meeting at our house for dinner. It was the first time we were hosting both of our friends at the same time and I was really, really looking forward to the distraction.

“Yep. Do I look like I just cried my eyes out?”

“Yep.” Grace laughed at me. “Give yourself a little time and maybe wear your sunglasses when you get Natalie.”

* * *

“The fastest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” Grace declared as she set a steaming hot cup of café con leche in front of Greg on my kitchen counter.

He grinned like a kid and hugged Grace. “I knew you liked me.”

She rolled her eyes at me over his shoulder. “Don’t get a big head, dumbass. You’re dating my best friend. I’m just trying to ensure my place in her heart…and yours.”

He kissed the top of her head. “Done.” Then he grabbed the cup and came over to me, sliding his hand around my waist and kissing up my neck. “You okay?”

He’d asked me that about ten times since I got home with Natalie. I knew my eyes were still a little red and swollen, so I didn’t lie. I told him I was processing everything and that it was a little overwhelming. I think it scared him. He was acting sexy and brash, but his eyes were telling a different story. They were sad.

“I’m okay.”

Eve pushed a tall glass of her famous mojitos in front of me. “So Edward is coming?”

I took a big gulp of the drink. “Three whole days.”

“Your assistant called for special box seats. I gave him mine. I figured we’d wine and dine him. Might help keep him distracted for you.”

I wanted to hug Eve but didn’t know if she was the kind who appreciated things like that. I held up my glass and clinked it against hers, instead. “Cheers to that. Thank you.”

“No problem. I know a thing or two about difficult fathers.”

I glanced at Jake across the counter. He held up his glass. “Just remember you’ve got back up. We’re all here if you need us.”

Dammit, I wanted to cry again. “Thanks. To both of you. I really appreciate this.”

Greg tightened his grip on my waist and pulled me against him. “Anything for you. Anything.”

“Uh, guys?” Grace called from across the kitchen. She was standing by the table where Natalie had fallen asleep beside her Shirley Temple. “I think someone partied too hard at her slumber party last night.”

“I got this,” Greg whispered in my ear and squeezed my hip. He set down his drink and then scooped my sleeping daughter up in his arms like she weighed nothing at all. “C’mon sleepyhead. It’s bed time.”

She groaned, but then threw her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder. It was damn near the sweetest sight I’d ever seen: the man I loved taking care of the most important thing in my world as if she were just as important to him.

He glanced at me as he squeezed through the doorway and gave me a look that burned through me and straight to my soul. In a single glance Greg told me everything he needed to say, and what I was waiting to hear: this was what mattered.

Right now was everything.

21

I settled Natalie into her bed and took a moment to pull myself back together. I wanted this. All of this. I wanted to love Marie and help take care of Natalie. I wanted to love someone. I wanted to matter.

Right now my life didn’t matter.

But it could.

I always wanted a daughter. I knew I’d be a great dad. Kids were magical little creatures. They saw the world in black and white, said what they thought, and didn’t understand the complications adults put in their lives.

I was a giant child, so it wasn’t a big stretch to think I’d be good with some of my own. Maybe my time had passed, but I loved Natalie and if I could be part of her life, even for a little while, I wanted that.

“Everything okay?” Eve asked from the doorway.

We walked out into the hallway and shut the door so Natalie could sleep while we all partied downstairs. “Yeah, everything’s good.”

Eve raised an eyebrow. “You looked wistful.”

I was busted and there was no point in hiding it. “I love her.”

“Both of them?”

I looked down at my feet. “Yeah. I do.”

“I’m happy for you. They’re good people.”

They were good people, they were my people. “I told her. About Jenn.”

Eve slid her hand into mine and squeezed. “How did she take it?”

I still wasn’t sure myself. I loved that everyone came over to distract Marie ahead of Edward’s visit, but I wish they would all leave so I could give Marie the third degree. “Have you seen her eyes?” When I came home with the food and saw that she’d been crying, I wanted to punch a wall.

“I did. I had hoped it was all because of Edward.”

I shook my head. “Nope, that was all me. I’m an asshole.”

“You are not an asshole. She needed to know.”

“She deserves better than me.”

Eve punched my arm. “Don’t ever say that again. She chose you. You don’t get to devalue her choice because it makes you feel better.”

I rubbed my arm and glared at the feisty—but correct—woman standing across from me. Sometimes it really sucked that Eve knew me so well. “What do I do? How do I make this easier?”

“For you or for her?”

“Both?”

“I don’t know. Is this what you want? To be tied down like this?” She nodded downstairs and then at Natalie’s door.

Every time I thought about them I felt lighter. Tied down was the exact opposite of how Marie made me feel, and that was my answer. “Yeah. I’ve always wanted this.”

“Then just keep doing what you’re doing. The rest will work itself out. I think.” Eve frowned.

“What’s going on?”

She shrugged. “Just thinking about Jake. Sometimes the more I tried to fix things—the more I tried to make him happy—the worse things actually got. You can’t force some things. Give it time. You both need time to adjust to all of this.”

She was right. It wasn’t the answer I wanted, but she was right. We started walking back toward the stairs. “And how are you two?”

She shrugged. “Fine. We’re good. Trying to get pregnant and it’s not going well, but that’s just a bump in the road.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. A baby?” Jake and Eve were trying to start a family? And I didn’t know about it?

But Eve looked a little uncomfortable. “Yeah, but it hasn’t happened yet. And we didn’t want to make you feel weird, so we were keeping it under wraps.”

“Me?” Why would being an uncle make me feel weird? “I can’t wait to spoil that baby.”

“I always feel like we just barely have a hold of you, Greg. I was worried a baby would make you feel uncomfortable, and that’s the last thing either of us want. You are our family. Forever and always. No babies or fifteen.”

“Fifteen?”

Eve shuddered. “Not fifteen. Can you imagine me with fifteen kids?”

“No, but I can see Jake.”

She smiled. “Yeah, me too. I’ll give him as many as I can.”

“You will,” I assured her. “Just give it time.”

She pushed me off and laughed. “Nice, throwing my own advice right back at me. Really, really subtle, Hamilton.”

I followed her down the stairs dreaming of pink baseball uniforms and tiny blue baseball bats. A baby Spencer was going to be so much fun and I couldn’t wait to spoil it rotten.

* * *

“Jake and Eve are trying to get pregnant,” I said the minute the door was closed.

“Oh,” Marie murmured. “They are gonna have a gorgeous baby. Good at sports.”

“No doubt,” I agreed. I put my arm around Marie and scooped her up, walking her into the little living room and laying down on top of her. “How are you feeling?”

“I’ve got a plan of attack for dealing with Edward. This is the first time I’ve had so much support. I think if I can talk it out with someone each day, then I’ll get through it just fine. I might need a night of heavy drinking and fucking when it’s over, but I should be good after that.”

My dick sprang to attention at the idea of fucking. “Oh baby, you know I can take care of that for you.”

She ground those amazing hips up and against me, making me even harder. “Yeah? You’re up for the task? Maybe I better audition you first?” She threw her arms around my neck and tried to look serious. “Okay, I just came home and I look miserable, what do you do?”

I kissed her. Hard and deep. She moaned and took it, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and grinding even harder. “I’m gonna have to take you upstairs for the next trick, can’t risk Natalie coming down and seeing my bare ass.”

Marie laughed as I stood up and hauled her right back into my arms. I was feeling like a caveman—like I needed to be as manly as humanly possible. And what was more manly than carrying my woman upstairs?

Nothing.

Marie seemed to be totally into it, laughing and sucking at my neck as I took each step. I noticed how she sidestepped my initial question, but I also knew the easiest way to talk to her was to make her happy. When she panicked, she put up her guard, so the last thing I was going to do was put her on the spot.

I closed her bedroom door and took her to bed, slowly worshipping every inch of skin I could find, loosening her clothes, and generally enjoying the fact that she made me feel amazing.

“Did I ruin us today?” I asked. My lips were on the soft spot next to her belly button and I was afraid to look her in the eye because if I saw fear or sadness or regret, I wasn’t going to be able to hold myself together.

She ran her fingers through my hair. “No. You didn’t ruin us.”

Thank fuck. “Did it change us?”

“Maybe.” Her fingers moved faster, more intently. “I never thought about this before. Honestly, I never really thought I’d feel this close to somebody.”

I hauled myself up and over the top of her before she could say anything else. That was enough. It was all I needed. There was hope for the future and right now we just needed to be.

“Can I make love to you right now? Would that be alright?”

If I could freeze time I would. I had a woman in my arms that wanted me, who knew me, and yet still wanted me. I had a reason to get up in the morning and a desire to do more than get through the day. I wanted to be better, to give these two ladies everything I had.

I still didn’t understand it all, or know how I was going to reconcile it all in my mind, but at this moment, my life was more than my own. It was Marie’s and Natalie’s, too. I had a responsibility to them and I was sure as hell gonna give it everything I had.

22

I felt a prickle as we walked inside Saison Grille. Memories of the night I saw Greg from across the room—of approaching him at the bar and taking a chance on going home with him—flooded my mind.

My how things had changed since that night.

The hostess took us to the table where Greg was already waiting for us. He stood the moment he saw us approaching, buttoning his suit jacket and slipping a hand in his pocket. He was cool, casual confidence with a side of cocky in his navy blue suit, cut to fit his wide shoulders and trim waist. It made the blue of his eyes sparkle with a warmth that other colors simply couldn’t reveal. That was why I loved it when he wore navy. I swear it made him see me differently.

My father took the lead, striding toward Greg before stopping and holding out his hand. “Edward Bancroft.”

Greg took his hand and gave it a firm shake. “Greg Hamilton. It is good to meet you, sir.”

I stopped beside my mother (who most certainly was not supposed to be here). Natalie was two steps behind us.

Edward turned and held out his hand. “This is my lovely wife, Lucinda.”

Mother smiled. It was so fucking fake. I hated that smile because, to me, it was the very definition of everything I never wanted to be.

I didn’t want to play games with people the way she did. I didn’t pretend to feel things I didn’t, or enjoy people I hated, merely to get ahead. I wanted to be genuine. It felt like a piece of me died each and every time I had to fake my way through a conversation. I simply could not lie to get ahead the way she could.

“Lucinda. What a pleasant surprise.” Greg’s rough voice turned to butter and a sly smile pulled at his lips.

Oh, I knew that smile. It was Greg’s own version of Lucinda’s smile. When it was turned on me it was for good: to convey his dirty thoughts without saying a word, but when it was turned on anyone else, it was Greg’s way of saying “go fuck yourself”. He didn’t like my mother at all, and they had barely said five words to each other.

“Yes, Mother surprised us all by tagging along with Father.” And by surprised I meant tricked. This is what they did. They switched up plans, withheld information, surprised me—whatever it took to fuck with my head. This was their very special way of seeing how serious Greg and I were.

And not because they cared about who their daughter was spending her time with. Oh no, this was business, as it always was and always would be. Who I associated with was Bancroft Sports business as much as it was mine.

It was times like this I wondered why I still worked for my father. I should have left years ago, but I was only thirty and had a child I’d been raising for as long as I could remember. Sometimes I forgot how hard it was to see where I was unless I actually stopped long enough to look around.

I was stopped right now and getting a good look. It was eye opening to say the least.

My parents took their seats and Greg hugged Natalie. “Long time no see, kid.”

They fist bumped behind my parents backs and then he moved to me, curling his hand around my waist and to the small of my back, pulling me into him for a chaste, but electric kiss.

“Hello, beautiful. Did you have a good day?”

Who was this sweet, polite man? I kinda liked him simply because I knew he was carefully hiding the guy I loved so much in an effort to both enchant and piss off my parents. I cupped his face and pulled him back for another quick kiss.

“I did. And you?”

“I did, but I’m happy to finally see you.”

I smiled. Normally he would have said “it’s about fucking time I had you back”. This sweet stuff was an adorable change of pace.

He held out my chair and I sat, the hostess handing me a menu and promising to return with the bottle of wine Greg had just ordered.

I could do this. With Greg beside me, grounding me to this life, I could avoid slipping away like I usually did. I smiled at him and he squeezed my hand. For once I didn’t feel alone.

Conversation stayed pretty meaningless while we sampled the wine and ordered appetizers. It wasn’t until the first round of food was in our bellies that things took a turn for the serious.

“So Greg, how is business?”

“Very good sir, thank you for asking.” It surprised me how someone who so hated authority could lapse into such easy respect in conversation. I imagined Greg was mentally punching my father in the face every time he called him sir, but I never once saw any evidence of it on his face.

“And your new contract with Steele Industries?”

Greg leaned back in his chair, taking a slow sip of wine before answering Edward. “Very lucrative. I see you’ve been doing your homework.”

“There are rumors that a merger is in your future. Any truth to it?”

Greg shook his head slowly, his eyes locked on Edward. “Not in the least. Spencer, Hamilton, and Associates is a small, privately owned firm. It will always be a small, privately owned firm.”

“Despite your partner stepping back to pursue more academic interests?”

“Our goals dovetail nicely. Jake is helping groom and encourage the next great generation of engineers. We have our pick of the best thanks to him.”

Edward smiled and glanced at me. “You’ve picked quite a smart businessman, my dear. I talked to Marty and Sven and they were both quite impressed. They told me to invest now.”

This was a test. Edward was dipping his toe in the water, stirring up a few waves of trouble to see how each of us handled the disruption. It was one of his classic maneuvers.

“Greg is quite impressive. His company is doing great work.” The combination of local projects with cutting-edge research was turning Greg and Jake’s company into a major player with prototypes and forward-thinking technology. Greg acted like it wasn’t a big deal, but I knew it meant a lot to him. I saw the light in his eyes every time he told me about his day, each meeting that went well, every project that came online. He liked to appear detached and shrewd, but in reality, Greg was incredibly invested in his company and every one of his employees.

It was another part of what I loved so much about him. He cared about so much, even when he didn’t show it.

“We aren’t looking for investors right now,” Greg added with a sideways glance in my direction.

Edward grunted. “But you do have a partnership with Steele?”

“Only for two projects we are both working on. We’ve had a good relationship with them in the past and when the opportunity to develop a new floodwater management system came along we knew we needed access to engineers and equipment more specialized in robotics than we are.”

“Marty and Sven said that this will be the beginning of a new era, and that your company is leading the charge.”

Greg’s chest puffed up just a little. “That is one possibility. And…who are Marty and Sven?”

I touched his hand, drawing his attention to me and away from my father. “Edward likes to invest in start-ups now that he’s taken a small step back from Bancroft Sports. One of his investments is in a company called Consolidated Technologies. Marty is his business advisor and Sven is his engineering liaison.” I had known Marty for years and I had met Sven on several occasions since Edward invested in the start-up.

Greg held my gaze. I couldn’t read exactly what he was feeling. “I had no idea your father was so interested in small engineering companies.” He turned and smiled at Edward. “Seems we have more to talk about than I realized.” He gave my hand a comforting squeeze, letting me know everything was fine.

“Greg is a reader, too, Grandfather. He’s very smart,” Natalie piped up. She was carefully observing most of the conversation and I appreciated her little bit of levity.

“What do you have on you tonight, Kid?” Greg smiled over at her and Natalie blushed before reaching into her purse and pulling out a copy of Something Wicked this Way Comes. He shook his head and reached into his jacket, pulling out another Nancy Drew.

She giggled and took it from him. “Thanks.” Then she immediately shoved Something Wicked back into her purse and quietly opened the Nancy Drew.

My mother raised an eyebrow. Reading at the table was terribly impolite, after all.

“She’s a child stuck at a table of adults discussing investments,” I sighed. “But try and keep it to just a chapter or two, okay?”

Natalie nodded, already lost in the story.

“So Greg,” my mother took over, apparently given a window by the book exchange. “You’re thirty-five, never married, no children?”

Why was she here? Oh, that’s right, to make my life hell.

“No ma’am.”

“Has something changed?” She waved her hand toward Natalie. “Obviously you’re very good with her.”

“Yes, something changed.” He pulled my hands to his lips. “I finally met Marie and Natalie.”

My mother was not impressed with his answer, but I sure as hell was. If I’d been standing I probably would have swooned.

The corner of Greg’s lip twitched when he looked back at Lucinda. “There aren’t exactly a lot of women to date when you work twenty-four, seven, three-sixty-five like I did until two years ago. I literally buried myself in work on the other side of the world.”

She could take that and run any number of unpleasant directions. Wine, I needed more wine. I grabbed the bottle and poured it myself—so very uncouth.

But Lucinda barely noticed me. Normally she would have sliced my lack of manners to the bone before I even had my palm on the bottle.

“That sounds like a difficult way to live.”

“We all make our choices,” Greg answered quietly. “But it’s one helluva way to make a fortune if you’re careful. They pay contractors very well over there.”

“And no taxes,” Edward agreed with a raise of his glass.

I rolled my eyes. Of course Edward would go there. We needed a change in conversation immediately.

Luckily Edward beat me to it. “I’d like to review your travel plans for summer, Natalie. How long will you be with your father?”

“June fifteenth through the end of July,” she said quietly. Her eyes darting to me. She was worried about me. “We’re going to follow the Tour de France and spend a week in Italy.”

“Lovely. Hopefully you’ll be able to squeeze in a few days with us in New York, too.”

I wanted to say no and end the conversation right then and there, but instead I let it go. There was no reason to fight about this over dinner when I could simply run into “scheduling issues” later. “Yes, we’ll review all her plans and see what we can do.”

After dessert, my parents returned to the hotel in their rental car and Natalie and I squeezed into Greg’s Porsche. I was seriously willing to do anything to get away from my parents, including fit into the tiny shoebox he called a car. “You need a bigger car,” I joked as we all walked into my house.

“I know.”

“I was kidding, Greg. I’m not telling you to get a new car.”

“I know,” he repeated. “But I want a new one. I should drive something we can all fit comfortably inside. Besides, I bought that thing as a reaction…I kinda hate it now.”

I pulled him to me. I loved that I still learned something new every day. “Oh really? A reaction to what?”

“Tanks, sand, and trucks.”

Oh. “I guess I never really considered that…”

“Why would you?” He cocked his head and smiled. “I wasn’t kidding when I told your mom I worked constantly over there. If I wasn’t sleeping or eating, I was working. I didn’t even take vacations unless I was required to. I never did anything for fun I just…” he shook his head. “I just wanted to bury myself so deep I couldn’t think.”

We were standing in my foyer, Natalie banging in the kitchen putting away the leftovers my parents were horrified we took, and Greg chose this moment to be honest and revealing. I could feel his heart pounding in his chest, see the throb of the vein in his neck, and all I wanted to do was wrap myself around him and let him bury himself in me—and not even in the dirty way. If Greg ever needed to get lost again, I wanted it to be with me. I never wanted him to be alone again.

“That’s why this is so hard, Marie. I lost Jenn and I can’t lose you, too. I feel you pulling away when things get hard, I see that wall you put up and I hate it. It scares me.”

My heart thudded loudly in my ears. “It scares me, too. It’s like it’s not even me when I feel like this. I’m in here still, but someone else is controlling me. Talking. Moving around. Working and dealing with Edward and Lucinda. It’s like I have no control over what happens.”

God, was I losing my mind? It sounded insane.

He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against mine. We stood like that, connected and feeling, without saying a word. “Please don’t leave me,” he whispered. “I need you.”

I nodded, moving both our heads until our noses brushed. Then I kissed him. Hard. As if this kiss needed to say just how much I loved him until I was ready to say it with words. “I’m trying. I really am.”

Having him around made such a difference tonight. He didn’t do anything but show up and be himself. A cleaner, more polite version of himself, but he was still Greg, and somehow that gave me the strength to hold on to a little bit of me, when normally I would have transformed into someone else.

“Sleep here tonight.”

“It’s Monday,” he whispered back.

“I want you to sleep here all week.”

He swallowed loudly. “Are you sure?”

I needed support. If I went to bed alone I was going to lie there all night staring at the ceiling and having one anxiety attack after another. If Greg stayed he could keep me distracted.

“Yes, I need you here. Please stay.”

He kissed me lightly on the lips. “You got it, babe. Whatever you need.”

I made sure Natalie was tucked into bed before I closed my bedroom door and peeled off my clothes. I already felt better having Greg there. Normally I would have started retreating into myself, replaying every word of every conversation I’d had since my father arrived.

I was still doing that, but much less than usual. I still re-ran my father’s plans and comments, still felt like I didn’t belong in my own skin, but I was able to stop and look at Greg and shake myself out of it.

Greg was waiting for me in bed. “Put your head on my lap,” he ordered. I curled around his muscular leg and sighed as he ran his hand through my hair, brushing it away from my face and neck before beginning to lightly massage my shoulders. He alternated between brushing my hair and kneading my muscles. The affect was relaxing and hypnotic, but it was his words that really did me in.

“You are so beautiful,” he murmured. “Your hair is so soft. Your laugh is the most infectious thing I’ve ever heard. Your breasts are easily the most perfect rack I’ve ever seen. Don’t laugh—” he threatened. “It’s true and about time you recognized the incredible perfection of your breasts. Don’t even get me started on your nipples. I’ll need a whole night to sing their praises.”

He was quiet for a minute before he spoke again, his voice quieter and more soothing. “You make me happy, Marie. You don’t put up with my shit and you can call me on just about anything because you are smarter and quicker than me.”

He kept talking and massaging and somewhere in the middle of all of that I fell peacefully asleep. When my alarm went off we were in that exact same position. Greg slept sitting up with his fingers in my hair and a smile on his handsome face.

I gazed at him as I shut off my alarm, kissing his soft lips to wake him up. It took a 747 taking off to wake Greg up most mornings. But a well-placed kiss or two usually had the same effect.

His eyes fluttered open. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” he warned.

I straddled him and took his face in my hands. “I keep all my promises,” I whispered. A split second later I was on my back and a very hard Greg was grinning as he rocked into me.

23

“The meeting started at three.”

Jake gave me a look that told me to fuck off. “I’m aware of that.”

“You came in at three-fifteen.” I was stating the obvious because that’s what I did. I was a pain in the ass. I liked watching people squirm. Even Jake.

We were the last two left in the conference room. He let out an exasperated breath and spun in his chair. “What’s your point?”

“Look, I’m totally cool with the changes you’ve started making around here in preparation for fall, but I still need you to show up to the meetings.”

Jake glared at me. “Noted jerkwad. Any other marching orders?”

The door opened and Nick stuck his curly head inside. “Hey Greg? We’ve got a problem with one of our field crews. You gotta second?”

Fuck no I didn’t. I needed a vacation from the stupidity. “Can it wait five minutes?”

Nick’s face contorted. “Can I get an authorization for a tow truck?”

“Who fucked up what?” A tow truck?

“Spence’s crew down in Arcadia buried a truck in the mud up to the axle…” Nick cringed in preparation for my reaction.

He was a smart kid.

“It has four wheel drive! What fucking idiot buries a pickup truck up to the axle in Florida?”

Jake cleared his throat. “Yes, you can authorize a tow truck. We’ll deal with the lack of intelligence when they get in on Friday.”

Nick ducked away before I could yell anymore, so instead I glared at Jake. “Waltzing in late and being nice to dumbasses. What’s next? You quitting? Or maybe it’s gonna snow?”

He just shook his head at me. “You know sometimes accidents are just accidents.”

“And sometimes you can’t fix stupid. That entire crew better be in my office Friday afternoon with answers. And whoever was driving better have their hat in their hand, their tail between their legs, and the best puppy dog eyes I’ve ever seen.”

Jake laughed at me. “Are you being extra cranky because of Edward or did you miss your coffee break?”

I grimaced. “Edward is every bit as much of a jackass as they said. Maybe more.”

“I’m guessing he didn’t fall instantly in love with your ugly mug?”

I grinned. “Apparently I’m not his type. He prefers guys who kiss his ass.”

“He leaves tomorrow?”

I nodded. We’d already endured dinner on Monday. Luckily he was going to be at the Ray’s game tonight. “Did I mention Lucinda came with him?”

“Two for the price of one? How did you get so lucky?”

I shrugged, wondering if things were going to get better when they left or if we were just exchanging one form of torture for another. I really didn’t know what to expect out of Brandon, and at this point I was exhausted from dealing with Edward and Lucinda.

Fuck, this week sucked balls.

“Marie’s handling it like a trooper, but she’s barely holding it together. She has a timer on her phone that’s counting down the minutes until they leave for the airport.”

“Ouch.”

How did I explain the unique torture that was my girlfriend’s over-privileged parents? “Lucinda is an ice queen who never has anything nice to say, so she basically never talks. And Edward is a self-absorbed narcissist who apparently lives to make life hell for everyone else—and his favorite one to torture is his own damn daughter. I want to punch the fucker in the face.”

Jake grimaced and looked down at the table. “I feel for her. Really I do.”

“I keep reminding her that she’s perfect the way she is. That she needs to ignore everything Edward and Lucinda say. What else can I do?” I hated feeling so fucking useless.

“Just keep doing that. This isn’t your fight and you can’t help her find her way through this.” He smiled when he saw how upset I looked. “You have no idea how much it means to have someone who is there for you no matter what. Who believes in you and doesn’t want you to become someone else. The best thing you can do is simply be her friend and love her the best you can.”

“I don’t like that answer but I’ll take what I can get.”

Jake stood up and slapped me on the back. “They’ll be gone tomorrow and you’ll get your girlfriend back.”

Maybe. “Thanks. I gotta go get her now, actually.”

“Dinner plans?”

I nodded. “Edward’s at the game and Lucinda is having quality time with Natalie, so Marie and I get a quiet afternoon and dinner.”

“Say hi to her for me.”

“I will.”

Thirty minutes later I was riding the elevator up to Marie’s offices with drinks in one hand and chocolate chip cookies for both of us in the other. Marie didn’t drink coffee after lunch like I did, so she was getting a hot chocolate instead of café con leche. Grace sent it special, just for her. I was pretty sure that meant there was extra whipped cream on the top.

Thad looked up and smiled at me. “Go right on back Mr. Hamilton. She’s expecting you.”

Damn right she was. Thad had quickly learned exactly who “Mr. Hamilton” was and now treated me accordingly. I felt pretty damn good as I walked down the glass windowed hallway to Marie’s office. I almost had a spring in my step. It was weird but oddly nice. Hell, I even felt like whistling—that’s how excited I was to have a quiet evening alone with my woman. Who knew two days of stress could feel so damn oppressive?

I pushed the glass door to Joan’s office open with my back and she looked up and grinned as I placed a cookie on her desk. “For you Miss Joan. How are you today?”

Joan liked me, I could tell. She always smiled and took care of me when I stopped by. Having the approval of the woman who assisted Marie on a daily basis made me feel like I was doing something right.

“I’m fine. I’ll be better in a minute when Mr. Bancroft leaves.” She whispered the last part.

Edward was still there? Great. My good mood evaporated. “Can I go in?”

“Please. Here, let me get the door for you.”

Marie was leaning on her elbows, with her fingers massaging her forehead. Edward had a laptop open and his blazer draped across the back of the chair he’d had brought in. At least I assumed Edward had brought it in. It wasn’t the normal chair opposite Marie, and that meant Edward had probably been in there for a while, which meant Marie was probably more than ready to get him out of her office.

“Edward. I didn’t expect you. I thought you’d be at the stadium by now.” I walked right around the desk and placed a kiss on the top of Marie’s head before handing her the hot chocolate. “Unfortunately I didn’t bring anything for you.”

“Yes, I should be going. The car is waiting for me downstairs.” He closed his laptop and gathered his things without looking at me. I got the feeling I’d just walked in on something because the air in the room was borderline glacial.

Marie took the lid off her drink and dipped her tongue into the whipped cream that hadn’t melted yet. Sure enough Grace had filled half the cup with the stuff. For about five seconds I fantasized about licking it off of Marie before I caught the glazed look in her eyes.

It was like ice in my veins to see her like that.

I couldn’t be polite to the bastard any longer. “Well, don’t let the door hit you on the way out, Edward.”

Edward stopped and turned toward us. His face was eerily composed but it didn’t match the fire in his eyes. “You are your own man and capable of doing anything you wish with your life, but Marie works for me and she’s my daughter. What she does very much affects me and is my business. I’d remember that if I were you, son.”

Ah, the subtle, not-so-subtle, put down. Edward was hoping I’d give him a show. I knew guys like him all too well. They thrived on the control, but when they lacked it, they were just as happy with a controversy.

Drama fed their ego and their souls.

I was not going to give the asshole what he wanted. I smiled politely, placing my hand comfortingly on Marie’s shoulder. “Enjoy the game, Pops. Go Rays.”

That put the fire right out. The glee he’d had only moments before was gone and now all that remained was cold steel. I had this man’s number. Edward was in trouble if he thought he could play me.

“Enjoy your dinner.”

Neither of us moved or breathed until the door clicked shut. Edward had sucked all the air out of the room right along with him, which I was kind of glad for because it was all bad air.

“What time is their flight tomorrow?” I asked.

“Not soon enough.” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Two.”

Definitely not soon enough. I kissed her. I wanted her to forget everything and everyone but me. “Forget about him, baby. It’s just you and me for the rest of the night. All that matters is us.”

I kept on kissing her until her hands finally touched my face and her fingers started running through my hair. Then I knew I finally had a piece of her back.

I turned and leaned against the edge of her desk so I could actually see her face. She was wearing a deep purple pencil skirt and white blouse. A simple sweater hung off the back of her chair. Her hair was arranged in a side sweep of curls off her right shoulder. She looked gorgeous, as always, but her eyes were still pretty blank. I swear it was like the life had been drained out of her.

“What was all that?”

Even when she smiled it was wrong. It was mechanical. “Just a meeting. You know how it can be.” And that was all she offered.

“I actually don’t, baby. You need to tell me.”

That got her attention. She glanced up at me and spent a good long minute putting her thoughts together instead of letting them run her mind. “There’s something wrong with me.”

“Like hell there is.”

She smiled and it almost reached her eyes. “To him. To my mother. There is something wrong with me. I’m not like them and that scares them. They don’t know what to do with me so they keep trying to make me like them. They insult my choices and belittle what I want. They try to impose their desires on top of mine and basically inundate me until I can’t remember what I think anymore. I forget who I am.”

I wanted to strip her naked and kiss every inch of her skin, telling her every single thing about her that was perfect with each kiss. There wouldn’t be enough skin and I’d have to start over again from the beginning.

“The thing is, for a long, long time I really thought I was wrong. That if I could just pretend to be like them, it would work. I’d fit in. Fake it until you make it.”

“What changed?”

“I moved to Tampa. I found home. I found me.”

I loved hearing all of this. “I think I found all that here, too.”

This time her smile was real. “I like the sound of that.”

“It’s still early, do you have more work or should we go for a walk and clear the air?”

She looked down at her desk. “I have about fifteen minutes of work to finish up. And then yeah, a walk would be nice.”

“Cookie.” I placed it in front of her. “Sugar makes everything better.”

“Or at least sweeter.”

I took the chair Edward had just vacated and devoured my afternoon snack while she finished up work. She typed away at her keyboard for a few minutes then called in Joan to go over a few things and hand off some papers. Joan gave her a stack of contracts to approve.

Someone named Chris stopped by to go over something about a press release, all while bouncing a tennis ball. My fingers itched to take the ball away, not only because it was annoying as fuck that he was bouncing it while they were talking, but because that was my thing. I was the guy with the tennis ball. It was like an addiction and having that bright green ball bouncing away in someone else’s hands was torture.

“Tennis player?” I asked when he left.

“Former.” She pressed the button on the side of her monitor and stood up. “I’m ready for that walk now.” She was even sexier standing up. That skirt and blouse did wonderful things to her figure. Things that made my mind go haywire. Maybe instead of a walk we needed a romp in the sack. Sex had a magical way of making stress and troubles disappear for a little while.

“Or we could swing by the house and get a different kind of exercise in. We don’t get to fuck in your house alone very often…you could be as loud and obnoxious as you want.”

We’d taken to swinging by my condo for some privacy, but we both preferred the comfort of Marie’s bed. It was a thousand times better than mine, plus my condo tended to have this cold, soulless vibe, and while that was good for a lunchtime rendezvous or two, it wasn’t nearly as much fun as fucking Marie on her couch or kitchen counter where I’d have fantastic memories of her body writhing to my touch each and every time I walked by from now on.

Yeah, I wanted to take advantage of the empty house.

“You look like you have some specific ideas in mind.” She smiled.

I pulled her against me and growled in her ear. “I might. Are you up for it?”

She relaxed. Not completely, but enough to let me know there was a chance she’d let the meeting with Edward go if I could distract her for long enough. “Sure. Why not?”

“Not exactly the enthusiastic vote of confidence I was going for, but I’ll take it.”

She smiled and pushed me toward the door. “You have a way of making me change my tune, so who knows.”

Sure enough, it only took my hand between her legs and my tongue on her neck for Marie to suggest we take things into the kitchen. We dropped everything the moment we walked in the door. Briefcases mingled with shoes and clothes. We were naked before we’d even made it over the tile threshold.

She still wasn’t quite herself, but she wasn’t completely walled off to me either. I didn’t push things.

“The kitchen feels so different naked,” I said.

She giggled and pushed me against the counter. “Colder for sure.”

“Thank goodness you keep this thing clear,” I groaned as she slid down to her knees and took my dick into her hand. I absolutely loved the way she always held it in the palm of her hand like she was weighing it.

“The counter or the floor?” she asked looking up.

“Both.”

She cupped my balls and ran her hand up and down my shaft, making me feel completely alive. My hips flexed, looking for more. My brain stopped working. “Fuck, baby. You’re a magician.”

“I’m just getting started. I have a bet to pay off. You lasted much longer than five minutes with my father.” Her voice deepened, sounding sexy as hell. Then she took me in her warm, wet mouth and my vision went black. The sound of her sucking and licking was as hot as the feel of her tongue and the back of her throat.

“I’m close, babe.” Normally we stopped once I got close so I could get her turned on, too. I really liked the delayed satisfaction of pumping into her when I finally came.

But this time she didn’t stop. She kept on sucking and there wasn’t anything I could do to stop it. My orgasm took over and I came like I hadn’t had sex in a month—which was strange because we’d had sex last night before we went to sleep. I don’t know why it felt so overwhelming, or needed, but it did.

When I came back to reality and looked down at Marie, I expected to see that self-satisfied smirk she usually got when she did this. The one that said she enjoyed making me lose my shit. But that wasn’t what I saw at all. The glazed look was back and that’s when I realized she’d done this to distract me. Marie was acting out of defense, not desire.

“Baby? What’s wrong?” I asked quietly.

“Did you enjoy that?” She stood up and moved immediately away from me, finding a glass in the cabinet and pouring some water. She kept her back to me.

“Of course I enjoyed it. Your mouth on my dick is pretty much the best feeling in the world.”

“Good,” she breathed and set the glass down on the counter. It sounded like she needed to hear me say that. Like she needed a win for her ego or confidence or something…I wasn’t really sure what. All I knew was that I needed to return the favor as fast as I could, otherwise Marie was going to retreat into her head and I was gonna lose her to her thoughts.

Two could play the distraction game. I spun her around and picked her up, placing her on the counter, then kneeled down and went to work. I didn’t give her time to say anything or protest, but she was stiff as a board for the first minute or so. It wasn’t until I licked around her clit and circled my finger that she finally started to relax.

I slid my index finger inside and made the “come here” gesture. She finally put her fingers in my hair, running them along my scalp and occasionally using pressure to tell me what she liked.

I stroked and sucked, but what Marie really liked was when I licked long and slow along her folds and around her clit. She moaned and shuddered, rolling her hips and quietly begging me for more. I drew it out, hoping to keep her as happy and distracted as I could for as long as possible.

I licked at her, bringing her right to the brink of her orgasm, feeling the tiny flutters around my fingers and the shudders of her body as she gasped for air.

I was hard as a rock again, ready to give Marie every possible form of pleasure when she came, inside and out. I could tell her orgasm would be better with my cock inside her. It would give her body something to clench around. My fingers were good, but my long, hard cock would be so much better—for her and me.

She gasped as I sank into her. It was so much more intimate. Hotter, wetter, more everything.

“Shit. This feels so good,” she said between clenched teeth.

“Baby, you have no idea.” I slid in and out slowly. A flush crept up her chest and neck. She strained and her muscles flexed. She was so close. I put one hand on her hip and used my thumb to press against her swollen clit. It took two more strokes before she came.

It was a thing of pure beauty.

Until she opened her eyes. Now that was beautiful. Those baby blues were pure happiness.

I did that. I put that back in her eyes.

Me and my cock. Damn, I loved the power of sex.

“Thank you. That was…wow,” she panted.

“Mind if I finish?”

She smiled. “Not at all.”

I lasted about fifteen seconds. It was a small little orgasm, but an orgasm nonetheless.

Marie was definitely back. She leaned against the cabinets, naked as a jaybird, with a satisfied grin on her beautiful face.

“Marie?” A voice I did not recognize, and was definitely male, called from the front door. “Marie, are you home? Your car is in the driveway and the door was unlocked so I came in…”

Her eyes widened and shot to mine. Whoever it was, she was surprised. “Brandon,” she whispered and looked down at our very naked bodies.

Shit. The bastard was early.

“Hold on!” she yelled over my shoulder. “We’re in the kitchen but do not come in here!”

“Why?” he sounded curious.

“Because we lack clothing, dumbass.” She rolled her eyes.

So she had a friendly relationship with Natalie’s father, good to know.

“And you definitely don’t want to meet my ugly ass without pants,” I yelled.

Marie shook her head and jumped off the counter. Our clothes were by the front door. We had nothing.

“Uh, Brandon?” She bit her lip and shrugged. “Could you possibly go sit in the living room and close your eyes?”

He laughed. “Yeah, sure. I see your clothes, now. Just count to twenty and then go get dressed.”

“Seems like a reasonable enough dude,” I whispered to Marie as we crept toward the doorway.

“He can be,” she whispered back. “When he wants to be.”

I poked my head out and saw him settle down on the couch. The back of his head looked totally normal.

“You ready?”

She grinned up at me. “I get the feeling you’re going to ask me that a lot over the years.”

“If we’re doing it right, then yeah.” I liked the way that sounded.

“C’mon.” She took my hand and led me up the stairs, her naked ass swaying she moved up the steps with her hair trailing down her back.

Yeah, I could be okay with this being my life.

Very okay.

24

I nervously looked back and forth between Greg and Brandon. We were at dinner and so far everything was going very well. “How’s the steak?” I asked Brandon.

“Good. Very tender. I guess Tampa does have some decent food after all.”

“Not everywhere can be Paris,” I chided.

After Greg and I found some clothes, I introduced the two men in my life. Brandon was very cool about the whole “sex in the kitchen” thing and didn’t give me a hard time. I’m sure he could have come up with a thousand jokes but he didn’t. Instead he just laughed it off and said he was happy for us. Then he apologized for crashing our date night and offered to take us out to dinner on him while we waited for Natalie.

“So how is life over there?” Greg asked. “The girls talk about you all the time, but not much about Paris.”

Brandon glanced at me with a wry smile. “That’s because Marie is still mad at me for moving. I think we’re making it work just fine despite the distance. I mean, it’s not like I gave you too much trouble when you up and moved the office to Tampa.”

“Because you knew why I was moving,” I replied through a very forced smile.

“Away from me with my daughter.”

“It’s all complicated.” I could admit that much. The rest was nitpicking details and I was too tired to care.

Brandon held my gaze for a moment, before turning back to Greg and spurting off several lines in French.

“Brandon, don’t be an ass.” I smacked him on the arm. Replying to Greg in French about how lovely it was to live in the city was overkill.

But then Greg replied in kind. He also told Brandon to go fuck himself for showing off—all in French.

“I’m gonna shut up now since you two are working out the parameters of your pissing contest all on your own.” I grabbed my wine and sunk into my seat. How did I not know that Greg spoke French?

“Aww, Ree, don’t be like that. It was an accident. I honestly didn’t mean to slip like that—I’m still getting used to being back in the States.”

I cringed at the nickname and Greg glared at Brandon. The vein in his neck was pulsing and his jaw clenched and unclenched several times. The pissing contest was going to turn into a brawl with these two personalities.

“Whatever,” I muttered. Brandon knew exactly what he was doing and Greg had called him on it. “So, meetings got done early today in Miami?”

“They did. They went well and all is moving ahead nicely. I was hoping to get some extra time with Natalie.”

“She’s gonna flip. I hope you wore a cup.”

Greg snorted and Brandon smiled. “How are Edward and Lucinda?”

“Same,” I said quietly. “How are Tomas and Ana?”

He grinned. “Same. At least I don’t have to work with mine anymore.”

“There’s empires to build.” I held up my hand the way my father always did when he said that stupid phrase. “You lucky bastard.”

Tomas decided he needed to live out his years with his mistress instead of his wife, so he left his company in the hands of Brandon and shacked up in London, walking completely away from his company and letting Brandon run Calais Athletics however he wanted—including completely changing the company and moving it to Paris.

“You should try it sometime,” Brandon said quietly.

“What?”

“Not working with your empire-obsessed father or your crazy mother.” He kept his gaze leveled on me.

We were in this weird triangle of staring. Brandon at me. Greg at me. And me at…the table.

“Maybe soon. You know what I always said.” And I left it at that because this was something I had never once broached with Greg and would require a great deal of explanation I didn’t have the energy for.

“Maybe soon?” Greg blurted out. “Maybe now. Leave the bastard in the dust. You’re fucking brilliant Marie, you don’t need him. He needs you. You could get another job in a heartbeat.”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying,” Brandon agreed. Now Brandon and Greg were talking to each other. Apparently they thought they could decide my career for me.

“It’s my family company,” I said simply. “And he’s my father. Maybe one day I’ll walk away, but today’s not that day.”

As long as we didn’t spend too much time together I could handle my parents in small doses. There was no reason to go and abandon a great job at a major company that just so happened to be built by my family. Everyone had family problems.

It seemed logical to me, but I could tell by the looks on their faces that Brandon and Greg did not agree. I wasn’t sure I agreed with me anymore, but I wasn’t making life-altering decisions over dinner. Certainly not with these two. I loved them both dearly, in completely different ways, but this was not their call.

“Let’s finish up. Natalie should be back soon.”

There was grumbling but no other discussion about my job, though I was pretty sure I was going to get a thorough grilling from Greg the minute we were alone again.

He moved closer and put his arm over my shoulder. Everything about his look and position was relaxed and casual—except that nothing about Greg was actually relaxed or casual. He was stiff as a board, his eyes saw everything, and each of his words was designed to make an impact.

He was doing exactly what he said he was going to do: be a complete ass until he made his point.

“So you make athletic clothing, do you play any actual sports?” Greg asked.

“Several,” Brandon replied.

“Good at any of them?”

I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

“Basketball and tennis are my sports of choice. You?”

“Naw, I just like to shoot things,” Greg replied with a grin. “And I lift…you know, for the health of it.”

Brandon drank his scotch. “Not a team player? Prefer to be alone, huh?”

“Always better to lead than follow.”

“Unless you have no one to lead,” Brandon shot back.

Greg grinned.

“So,” I sat up before things could go any further. “Natalie?”

Brandon didn’t look at me, he was staring a hole in Greg, and Greg was staring right back.

I stood up and physically put myself between them. “Stop being assholes. Please? Calais is the largest athletic clothing company in Europe. Spencer, Hamilton, and Associates is one of the most innovative engineering firms in the country. You both have a lot to be proud of. Can we move on already?”

“Absolutely,” Greg said softly, standing up and kissing me on the cheek. “There’s no comparison. He makes over-priced clothing, I actually build things people need.”

I groaned and hung my head before I stormed out of the restaurant. I was done dealing with those two.

I started the car and rested my forehead on the steering wheel while I waited for Thing One and Thing Two. It wasn’t like dinner had gone badly—it hadn’t at all. It was just the constant back and forth over whose dick was bigger got old fast. And seriously, what was it accomplishing? Brandon was still Natalie’s father and Greg was still my boyfriend. Hopefully they got whatever answers they needed fast. Otherwise, I was going to smack them both.

The car ride back was silent. I got the feeling they’d agreed to shut up for the rest of the night for my sanity. So at least I knew they could reach an agreement when they had to. That was something.

We stayed up a little later than normal while Brandon and Natalie caught up. It was only slightly awkward that the father of my child and my boyfriend were sleeping under the same roof.

I finally relaxed once the bedroom door was closed and I was half naked in bed. Greg pulled me onto his chest and started stroking my hair. “Talk to me. What would make you leave Bancroft Sports?”

Greg was never, ever going to win an award for subtlety, but that’s what I loved about him most. I didn’t answer right away because I was trying to sort through all my thoughts. Where did I even begin?

“Do you need another job first?”

“No that’s not it,” I sighed. He waited patiently and I listened to the sound of his heart beating in his chest. Strong. Consistent. It was soothing. “Nat and I are set up financially even if I were to quit tomorrow. I’ve been planning for this for years, mostly because I really wanted to make sure Natalie would always be taken care of no matter what. She has a trust. I have a trust, for that matter. But beyond that, I’ve saved a lot of money, made good investments, and have an emergency fund in an offshore account.”

I was pretty proud of the cushion I’d created for us. I didn’t need to work for years if I didn’t want to.

“Good. So what’s the hold up?”

“You really don’t like them, do you?”

His arms came around me and I looked up.

“They make you miserable and they’re not nice people. No, I don’t like them one bit.” I got a little lost in his gaze. “Baby, they make you frown…they’re kind of ruining all my hard work.”

Okay, so I couldn’t fault him for that. “Edward is supposed to officially step down at the beginning of next year. After the holidays. If he does, then I don’t see any issue with continuing my job. But if he doesn’t…”

“You don’t think he’s going to.”

“No. He spent the last two days questioning every decision I’ve made in the last six months. He reviewed every agent and every major account. That man has no interest in retiring or taking a step back. Bancroft Sports is who he is and I don’t think he knows how to be anything else.”

“So what are your contingency plans?”

“I don’t know yet,” I replied. “I was going to start looking into it this summer while Natalie was gone.”

He nodded and returned to the slow, ridiculously soothing stroking of my hair. Seriously, I could live like this forever. Greg had magical hands.

“Start looking now, babe. Life is too short for this shit.”

25

By mid-morning I’d cleared my desk at work, picked up a very early lunch, and arrived at Bancroft Sports an hour earlier than planned. Cuz yeah, I was gonna be that guy. I wanted to infringe on Brandon’s time with Marie. I wanted to see how the bastard worked during the day and in a professional environment. I wanted him to know I was around.

All the fucking time.

Reasonable guy or not, this was my turf and Marie was my woman. Until I felt like all parties were fully aware of what was what, I was gonna keep acting like a douchecanoe.

The front desk was abandoned, so I didn’t get to make Thad feel uncomfortable. I started down the glass hallway with our lunch dangling from my hand when I realized all the offices were empty.

What the fuck?

Then I heard laughter coming from the conference room toward the end of the hall near Marie’s office. I walked up slowly, hoping to see what was going on before anyone noticed I was there.

Fucking Brandon was standing at the head of the table with boxes of clothes, putting on quite the comical performance, and throwing out shirts when different people answered his questions. He was running the room.

Everyone was crammed in there, laughing, smiling, having a damn good time. Even Marie. She was standing against the glass wall, arms folded across her chest, grinning.

Mr. Jealousy-Rage-Monkey reared his ugly head again.

At least she wasn’t laughing. I think hearing her laugh would just about kill me.

“Alright, for our new sweat-wicking compression shirt—in blue—who can tell me the first, and last, account that Marie personally handled?” Everyone erupted into a fit of laughter except for Marie.

Instead she rolled her eyes and shook her head. “You’re an ass.”

“Scott Dunlap!” Someone yelled out.

“Bingo!” Brandon tossed the shirt at the guy. “Bonus, for another shirt. Who can tell me why he was her last?”

Marie covered her face and groaned. “No…”

Brandon grinned and a different person, a woman this time, called out the answer. “She refused to help him hide his mistress from his girlfriend, and accidentally got caught on tape telling him to ‘grow the fuck up.’ ”

The laughter rolled through the room and Marie turned red. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone’s gotta have some morals around here.”

“And that’s why you’re the leader,” Brandon said simply.

That’s when Marie glanced over her shoulder. Our eyes locked and for a brief moment in time I forgot how many things I didn’t know about her, or the fact that her ex had known her for so long. All I could think about was how details didn’t matter. I wasn’t surprised for one second to hear a story like that about Marie. It’s just who she was.

She walked out of the conference room without anyone noticing since everyone was transfixed on Brandon and his game. She came straight for me, not saying a word, put her hands on my face, and kissed me. It was like she knew I needed a little bit of reassurance that everything was going to be fine.

We’d switched places in the last twenty-four hours.

“Time to celebrate Edward and Lucinda leaving?” she asked with a gorgeous smile.

“Ready when you are.”

I followed her back to her office. Joan was working away and offered to bring us some drinks. I dropped off a surprise sandwich for her, too. I couldn’t conceivably pick up the best Cubans in town and not bring one for all three of us. The fried plantains and dip alone were worth the price of admission.

We set up shop on the coffee table and tiny couch in the corner of her office. Marie even kicked off her heels and walked around barefoot which was surprisingly sexy—like this amazing, powerful woman was getting comfortable in front of me (and only me) because I was the one person she trusted.

Total ego boost.

“Thank you,” she said quietly while staring down an extra curly plantain chip.

“For lunch? Anytime. In fact, I think we should do this more often. We’re losing valuable time together eating separately.” I winked. Then I saw the look in her eyes and realized that wasn’t what she meant at all.

“No, I mean thank you for this entire week.” She kept studying that plantain like it was the most interesting thing in the universe. I never wanted to be a fried vegetable more. “I don’t know exactly how to explain this, but I’ve never felt so normal while dealing with my parents. I think that’s your doing. You really encouraged me to keep breathing when normally I’d have sucked it all in and waited for the storm to pass.”

The office door opened and Brandon stuck his big ugly head inside. “Hey, just wanted to let you know I’m off to see Nat. Thanks for letting me play with your staff this morning.”

I did not make the dirty joke Brandon had just left lying out in the open for me to play with.

“Enjoy,” Marie replied.

I waved. And then he left, simple as that.

“So, now that they’re officially gone, what did you think of Edward and Lucinda Bancroft?”

It was interesting to me how she never referred to them with any affection. It was always their first names or “my father” or “my mother”. There was no warmth there at all, not that I’d seen any in person. “They’re blood suckers. I’m sure they have their reasons and all, but I call people like that vampires.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “Vampires?”

I moved closer to her. We were just picking at the remains of our food and I wanted to feel her body against mine. The simple act of touching gave me a surge of energy. Maybe I was becoming addicted to the way she made me feel or maybe this was just what it was like to be around someone you loved. Either way, I wanted to be closer any time we could.

Always closer.

“They suck off of other people. Energy, emotions, whatever they can get. They survive by taking it from the people around them instead of being happy with themselves. Your parents are classic vampires.”

She looked adorably confused while she thought through my theory. It was a damn good theory. I’d been around way too many self-centered takers in my life, and after reading a particularly fun vampire novel, I’d coined the term.

I put my arm around her waist and seriously thought about playing hooky for the rest of the day so I could concentrate on memorizing every inch of her lips. But instead I explained my theory so she could focus on me instead of my words. “The similarities seemed pretty obvious to me. I mean, a vampire sucks blood to survive, just like assholes suck away joy to get a thrill. Even when they do it to change someone into a vampire, it’s because they want them to be like them—be one of their undead minions. It’s all very selfish shit.”

She turned into me and put her arms around my neck, leaning back just enough to give me the sexiest set of bedroom eyes I’d ever seen. “You know, Mr. Hamilton, you’re a very smart man.”

“I’m also hella good in bed. Fancy a fuck to finish off your lunch break?” I was totally pushing my luck, but what the hell? You can’t have what you don’t ask for.

She laughed, tossing her head back and giving me access to that gorgeous neck of hers. The skin, the hands, and the throaty laugh all combined to give me a raging hard on. I kissed her throat, sucking softly as I moved my way up to her chin.

“You’re like a snake charmer,” she murmured.

“Oh yeah?” I asked between kisses. I was totally lost in the moment.

“Yeah,” she nodded, pulling me a little closer. “I know that I should say no—that I don’t ever have sex in my office, that I have a meeting in fifteen minutes—but…oh my God, do I just want to forget everything and slide underneath you.”

I smiled and finally made it the last few inches to her mouth. I gave her a slow, deep, kiss. The kind that you can’t mistake for anything but desire and need. And then I sat us both up, brushing her hair out of her face. “It really pains me to say this, but I’m gonna be the logical one. If I fuck you right here on this couch then you’ll be no good for the rest of the day. You’ll be all satisfied and stop caring about work because my orgasm made you so damn happy…and I can’t have that. You need to get your work done.”

She frowned. “I never thought I’d see the day.”

“Don’t worry,” I stood up and adjusted myself. “I’ll make up for this tonight. Be prepared to be totally satisfied, Miss Bancroft.”

* * *

“Oh God!” she moaned and threw her head back against the shower wall with a thud. Not so hard that I was worried, but hard enough that half the house was probably wondering what we were doing.

That half being Brandon, of course.

I needed to be a little bit more careful with how mind-blowingly I was pleasing her.

I mean, we were taking the extra precaution of doing it in the shower to give us multiple closed doors and the white noise from the water, but loud thuds were probably going to raise some red flags.

I stood up from where I was kneeling in the shower—the tile floor totally killing my knees, I might add—and picked her up. She grinned with this lazy look on her face. I loved it when she looked so relaxed because of me. Then she wrapped her arms around my shoulders and her legs around my waist, holding herself out just enough for me to reposition and slide slowly inside.

I’d done a damn fine job of getting her ready for me. She was wet, hot, and welcoming. It only took a few strokes until I was gliding easily in and out like I was always meant to fit inside her. “You feel damn fine, Marie.”

She whispered a very sexy reply in my ear. “Make me come.”

My dick twitched, like a surge of extra need was seeking her out, commanded by her words to fulfill her request. Well, lucky for me my dick and my head were all on the same page. I stroked into her at the angle I knew she preferred, and she did that perfect little shiver she always got when I was hitting the right spot, making her shudder in my arms.

“There,” she gasped, cocking her head back but not banging it this time.

“You got it baby. I’m all yours. Every time. I’m not done until you are.”

She moaned in reply.

Pleasing her made my orgasm so much better—more intense. So it was as selfish as it was selfless. Sure I wanted to give her anything and everything, but I also enjoyed the side benefits that went along with it.

She was balanced between me and the wall and she was at that point so close to orgasm where her thighs were squeezing the shit out of me, so I felt pretty safe and confident in moving my right hand from her waist to her clit. It wasn’t easy to hit from this angle, but it was close enough, often enough, to do the trick.

Her arms tightened and she gasped harder and faster until boom. It hit her like a bomb. She contracted around me so fucking hard I saw stars for a minute.

Job done, and done well. I watched her face twist from beautiful agony to open pleasure, and finally to complete relaxation. I didn’t give my dick a second thought until I’d gotten to witness every single second of her transformation.

Then she surprised the shit out of me. She climbed down, grabbed the body wash and soaped me up. Her hands gave me a massage that felt good, but not quite what I wanted…until she rinsed me off.

Then she gave me exactly what I was hoping for.

“Back against the wall. And be quiet,” she admonished with a smile.

Damn I loved that smile. It was dirty and sweet at the same time.

She kneeled down and took me into her mouth, sucking gently. I knew how hard that floor was, so I didn’t want her to kneel any longer than she had to, but there was a war taking place inside my body. The half that was so far gone I wasn’t sure how I hadn’t blown my load yet, and the half that was so happy I never, ever wanted to stop.

It was probably a good thing for Marie that biology won out. I was done for the moment she slowly ran her tongue around the head of my dick and sucked me all the way into her mouth.

Done, done, done. Like couldn’t think straight for five minutes, done.

When we came downstairs dressed for dinner, Brandon and Natalie were laughing in the kitchen over her iPad. Apparently she was introducing Brandon to the wild world of comics on YouTube.

“Have you seen this dude?” Brandon looked up at us as we tried to enter the kitchen without looking like we were both high as hell on orgasms.

“Who is it?” I asked leaning over the counter to see the screen.

Natalie turned it my way. “It’s Tobuscus doing the Password Rant.”

I laughed. “Oh yeah. This one’s gold. Nat loves it.”

When I looked up, Brandon had a freakishly blank look in his eyes that I normally would have made fun of, but something told me to keep my mouth shut, so I did.

“Yeah,” he finally said. “I can see why you guys enjoy this.”

“We ready?” Marie asked. She seemed completely oblivious to the fact that Brandon looked like he’d seen a ghost. Or maybe I was the one being weird. Whatever was happening must not have been that big of a deal because Natalie shoved her iPad into her bag and everyone followed Marie out to the front door.

Dinner was normal—well it felt normal. Brandon was quiet, but I only knew the guy for five seconds, so maybe that was more normal than the gregarious dude he’d been for the last couple of days.

And then he moved his chair closer to Marie’s and started talking in her ear.

Oh fuck no.

Every hair on my body stood on end. I wanted to grab Brandon by the collar of his shirt and drag his ass outside. This wasn’t some normal conversation between old friends, or even parents. This was more.

It was in the body language. He was leaning in to her. He was smiling. He was fucking flirting with my girlfriend right in front of me. I glanced at Natalie, but she was happily reading her book and completely oblivious to everything around her.

“Hey babe? We about ready?” I said between my teeth.

I was not going to punch him.

I was not going to overreact in front of Natalie.

Marie glanced up at me and then sideways at Brandon as if she just realized how freakishly close he’d gotten to her. “Yeah. I’m ready.” She scooted out of her chair on the opposite side and quickly moved over to Natalie.

I watched Brandon, waiting for my opportunity. He looked up and right at me because he’d been waiting for that moment, too. The fucker smiled.

I don’t know how I kept myself in check, but I did.

I also gave that fucker a look that told him exactly what he was messing with. I thought I saw a flicker of hesitation, but it was brief and may have been wishful thinking on my part.

“Can you drive?” Marie asked, holding out her keys. “I had too much to drink.”

I’d barely touched my drink. “I’m good.” But she didn’t let me have the keys. Not right away. She held on to them and forced me to look at her.

“Are you good?”

Not even a little bit. I felt like I was on fire. I always felt raw when it came to Marie, and sometimes the reaction I got from things was so basic, so primal, I didn’t know how to handle them. Seeing Brandon so close to Marie had triggered something I couldn’t simply stop.

And I wasn’t so sure I wanted to.

“I’m good.”

She still didn’t let go of the keys. “Brandon can do whatever he wants. It won’t change the fact that I want nothing to do with him.”

“He’s Natalie’s father.” And that was the biggest reason he got extra passes from me.

“And that’s all he is,” she said quietly.

I nodded. She was right. He was getting to me and I was letting him.

But I still didn’t like where this was going. Marie might not want Brandon in her life romantically, but that didn’t mean it was all right for Brandon to mess with our heads. Not after the week she was having.

If I needed to be an ass, I was more than willing to be an ass.

26

“He was hitting on you.” Greg growled. We were hiding in the bathroom and trying to keep our voices down so that Brandon and Natalie couldn’t hear us.

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. Greg was riled up. Really, really riled up.

“So what if he was? It doesn’t matter and it was all of what? Two minutes? Let it go.”

“No.”

“Shhh.”

He glared at me but I didn’t care. I honestly didn’t understand anything that was happening other than I didn’t want Natalie hearing any of this.

“It wasn’t just some dickhead move to piss me off, Marie. Speaking French when we first met? That was a dickhead move. This was totally different. He doesn’t want me around and he’s trying to get rid of me.”

“Why on Earth would he do that?” Seriously, Brandon was his own brand of douchery, but he was Natalie’s father. What good would it serve him to get rid of the man in my life? Sure, it would hurt me, but it would also hurt Natalie. She adored Greg.

None of it made any sense to me.

“Because he’s fucking jealous!” Greg boomed. “You’re amazing and you’re mine.”

But it didn’t make sense. There was no Brandon and me. There was almost never a Brandon and me. He didn’t want me and Natalie then and he certainly didn’t want us now. It must be some testosterone laced insanity induced by seeing something he couldn’t have in the hands of another man.

“Marie. Baby.” Greg grabbed me by the arms. “I’ve got this amazing woman. I’m the one slipping books to his daughter. I’m the one sleeping in this house at night. He’s fucking jealous.”

Okay, so I was giving in to the idea a little. “And what are you?”

His eyes burned into me. They’d practically turned black his pupils were so dilated. I could feel the intensity of his feelings coming off him like radiation from a heater. It was overwhelming and borderline frightening to be so close to someone surging with so much emotion.

But it was Greg, so I knew it was all right.

“I’m fucking jealous,” he finally growled.

“Of what? You have me. You have Natalie eating out of the palm of your hands. And, as you put it, you’re the one who gets to sleep in this house at night.”

“And I could still lose you,” his voice was strangled and his hands tightened on my arms.

I grabbed him around the wrists and held him tight. “You can’t lose me to him. It’s not possible.”

He pressed his lips so hard against mine that it hurt a little. But I didn’t mind. I was more concerned with what was happening to Greg. What had this stupid week done to us? I’d barely held it together and now he looked like he was falling apart.

Was it too much to ask that we get through all this in one piece?

“He leaves on Saturday and then he’s gone, babe. He’s outta here. He won’t come back anytime soon. He never does.”

Greg nodded. “Okay.”

But there was still that crazy look to his eyes.

“I’m yours, Greg. I’m not going anywhere, I—” I stopped mid-sentence. I desperately wanted to tell him I loved him but I still couldn’t do it. There were too many what-if’s still hanging in the air for me to tell him how my heart felt and give him that much of my soul.

There was still too much of a risk he couldn’t handle all of this.

Maybe he felt it, too. He stared at me with a wild look in his eyes before he shook his head and kissed me. “No more talking about Brandon tonight. He doesn’t belong in here with us.”

* * *

“Shouldn’t you be ruling the world?” Grace slid a coffee across the counter and nodded me toward the private room off the side of the coffee shop.

“I didn’t sleep well. I need coffee and a friend.”

“Well lucky for you, I stock both of those every day.”

She closed the door and we settled on opposite sides of a two person table near the window. “You’ve been acting weird for a while, too. You ever gonna confide in me? This is supposed to be a two way street.”

She shrugged and swirled her mug in a circle on the tabletop. “There isn’t much to say. I’m sort of, but not really, seeing someone.”

“Excuse me?” Why was she keeping this a secret from me?

She rolled her eyes. “It’s nothing. Honestly. We aren’t serious at all. I don’t do serious, remember?”

I’d have believed her if she wasn’t so obviously lying to me. “Doesn’t sound all that casual…”

She pursed her lips. “It is what it is. I’m fine with it, but it messes with my head a little. That’s all.”

“It messes with your head? That’s not nothing, and you are not fine with it.” Grace had feelings for someone and it was driving her bat-shit crazy. Was this what Greg looked like when he met me? I was willing to bet money it was.

“It still doesn’t matter.” She glared at me to stop asking questions. “Now, stop distracting me with my problems. Tell me about yours.”

“Why are my problems fair game and yours super secret?”

“They just are. I’ll talk when I’m good and ready. Now, spill your guts so you can get back to Stark Tower.”

“I could live with comparisons to Tony Stark. That’s cool.”

“Millionaire Playgirl Supermom?” Grace offered a Marie-version of Tony Stark’s “Billionaire Playboy Philanthropist.”

“Doesn’t have the same ring at all. Let’s pretend that never happened.” I gagged thinking about it.

Grace shrugged. “Can’t win ‘em all.”

I took a long sip of my coffee and then a deep breath before plunging in. “I think Brandon is fucking with Greg’s head.”

“Oh…that can’t be good.”

I shook my head. “He flirted with me last night. In front of Greg.”

“What the fuck? Brandon’s lost his damn mind.”

“Pretty much.”

I felt so bad that this week was over the top insane. The past was crushing us both. “Greg was…intense. Yeah, let’s call it intense.”

Grace smiled. A huge, ridiculous smile. “He loves you.”

I smiled, too.

“You’re his woman. He loves you. You love him. He’s your man. You two are gonna be the cutest, most adorable old couple, ever.”

All those words. So many words with so much meaning. I liked hearing them, but not from Grace. From her it was just overwhelming. I wanted to hear Greg say those words.

“Oh sweetie. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to take things too far. Are you still freaking out about his fiancée?”

“I don’t think I’ll ever stop freaking out about that.” I was still processing it in the back of my mind, all while dealing with Edward, and now Brandon. I just needed some time.

“Have you asked about her?”

I shook my head. “Not yet. I haven’t been ready to hear it.”

“It’s probably not easy for him, either. But it’s also like living with an elephant in the room. The more you avoid it, the bigger the elephant gets.”

“Kind of like mysterious gentleman.”

Grace frowned. “Still not ready.”

“Well, neither am I.”

We finished our coffee in silence.

27

Marie disappeared upstairs with Natalie to help her get ready for bed, leaving me alone with Brandon.

Oh joy.

I could have gone up to bed, but that seemed overly rude to abandon him while the girls were upstairs. Although, staying downstairs was just fucking weird.

“Can you pass me a water?” I asked before Brandon closed the fridge.

“Sure.” He tossed it across the counter.

“So you don’t come to Tampa often?” I knew the answer, but I needed to make small talk. The vibe was really starting to get under my skin and I did not want to turn into Asshole Greg for shits and giggles.

“No. I’ve been so focused on transitioning the company that I limited my travel outside of work. I will be changing that over the next year.” He said it so firmly it made me wonder what else he wasn’t saying.

“I guess the company is doing well then?”

“It is.” He took a massive gulp of water, emptying half the plastic bottle. “Plus, we’re testing the market here in the States, so not only will I have more freedom, but more excuses to visit my family.”

I still wasn’t convinced that was the whole story. “It must be hard to be so far from your daughter.”

The blank look was back. It was so cold that it was an obvious difference. “It can be. Mostly I’m happy as long as she’s happy. And Marie, of course. I never thought I’d be a father and I certainly never thought I’d be any good at it.” His voice dropped away and he finished off the water. “But Marie and I have muddled through.”

“Natalie is amazing. I wouldn’t say you muddled through anything.” Maybe it was mostly Marie, but I knew Brandon was part of that too. The kid spoke fluent French and had a personality that far surpassed Marie’s. It would serve her well as she navigated the world.

“Thanks.” Then the room went painfully silent and I knew before Brandon said another word that the other shoe was about to drop. “As a protective dad I’ve done my research.”

“Oh yeah?” Call it a gut feeling, but I knew whatever Brandon had on his mind was trouble for me.

“Yeah. For instance, I know you lost your fiancée in a car accident—a car you were driving. I also know that after you were cleared of charges, you fled the country and ignored your family, and hers, for years.”

He may as well have put a fucking knife in my heart. I remembered the accident every damned day, but it was mine to think about and mine to talk about. Having Brandon—someone who didn’t know one fucking thing about my life or what I lost—say those words, made me want to lose my mind.

“You need to stop talking right now,” I warned.

But the bastard didn’t take my warning seriously. He twisted the knife instead. “You’re a coward. A coward who is trying to replace his dead family with mine, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to trust my family with a coward.”

I’m not entirely sure of everything that happened after that—I wasn’t in control, not in my right mind. I snapped. Somehow Brandon was against the refrigerator with my arm across his throat, holding him in place.

“You have no fucking idea what you’re talking about.”

The fucker had the balls to look me in the eye and keep talking. “I have more of an idea than you know, asshole. I didn’t kill the woman I loved like you did, but I didn’t protect Marie. I left her when she needed me most because I was scared.” I pushed harder against his throat and he gasped. It was a beautiful sound. “So yeah, I know a thing or two about running away.”

I really enjoyed watching Brandon’s face turn red as I choked him, but there was one fact in the middle of that speech that caught me off guard. “You never loved Marie.” Not the way I loved her. Whatever it was he thought he felt, it wasn’t love.

It couldn’t be.

“Of course I did,” he gasped when I let up. “I’ll always love her. But the difference between you and me, Greg?”

I didn’t want to hear it. I could barely hold my shit together as it was.

Brandon loved Marie—my Marie.

I gave the asshole one last push into the refrigerator and then let him go. He was scum. A bottom feeder. The very definition of asshole.

I turned to leave but the bastard just had to get his two cents in. “The difference between you and me is that I came back. I took care of her. I gave her what she needed, even when it wasn’t me that she wanted anymore. What did you do Greg? You abandoned everyone. You pissed on your fiancée’s memory and saved yourself.”

I hated that I let that get to me. The last thing I wanted to do was let someone like Brandon get to me, but the words he chose…they were the right ones. The kind the cut right through every piece of armor I had. They cut because they were the words I used on myself.

He was saying the truth I knew all too well. I was a selfish asshole to walk away from the life I had with Jenn. Brandon was right—I abandoned her family and mine. I walked away from everything we had because I couldn’t handle the memories.

I was a coward and the last few months had been an indulgence—one that wasn’t fair to me or Marie. It certainly wasn’t fair to Natalie.

But I loved them. I needed them. The idea of living in a world where they weren’t my entire world didn’t seem possible. I didn’t know what to do. All I did know was that I needed to clear my head, or else I was going to hurt Brandon.

So I did what I knew best—I didn’t walk upstairs to the woman who I knew loved me, even if she couldn’t say it yet.

Instead, I walked out the front door by myself.

28

“Where’s Greg?” I asked Brandon and Natalie. They were camped out on the couch watching one of the Jason Bourne movies.

Natalie shrugged and Brandon gave me a sideways look. “I think I saw him go out on the front porch.”

That look was trouble. I knew that look all too well. And Greg taking his time to come upstairs was the opposite of normal. I didn’t like the feeling I was getting—the feeling that Brandon and Greg had some kind of disagreement.

But I let it go and poked my head out the front door. The porch light wasn’t on but I could see Greg’s outline on the porch swing, and the red glow of a cigar each time he puffed on it. “What are you doing out here? Aren’t you getting eaten alive?”

The mosquitos had exploded over the last couple of weeks and the fogging trucks hadn’t started making the rounds yet.

“Cigar smoke seems to be keeping them away.” That was all he said, but the tone of his voice was hollow, so I knew something was up.

“There are zero mosquitos in my bed, you know.” I walked across the porch to stand in front of him. He had the cigar firmly between his lips and he was puffing on it like his life depended on it.

Poor little cigar.

“What’s wrong?”

“Just needed some fresh air.” He said it too quickly to be true.

“Then you shouldn’t be smoking.”

“Damn mosquitos wouldn’t leave me alone. Had to out of self-preservation.”

“You’ll catch Yellow Fever if you stay out here any longer.” I grabbed his free hand to pull him up, but he didn’t budge. I was shocked by how immoveable he was, actually.

“I’m pretty sure Yellow Fever was eradicated.”

I gave up on the tugging and put my hands on my hips. “If anything is going to bring a disease back from the dead, it’s mosquitos. C’mon. I’m cold and lonely without you.” I was going to figure out what was going on between the two men in my life, but not outside while being eaten alive.

I smacked my bare arm in three places, feeling the dampness of squished bug and my own blood. Ew.

“Fine. But only to keep you from being sucked dry by vampire mosquitos.” He put the cigar out on the deck and stood up. “What?” he asked when I didn’t move.

“Kiss me.”

“What?”

Something was terribly wrong. If everything was fine he would have kissed me without hesitation. Light or hard, he would have at least kissed me on command. “Kiss me.” My voice trembled a little.

Even in the dark I could see the struggle in him. The part that was surprised by how worried I sounded, and the part that was so miserable he wanted to hide. But after a moment or two he stepped into me, took my face in his hands, and kissed me tenderly.

He sucked at my lower lip, pressed into me, and then when I parted my lips, dipped his tongue inside. The entire exchange was sweet, in it’s own way, but the intensity was of a different kind. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say it was a goodbye kiss.

“Bed,” I said, turning and taking him by the hand. He followed me quietly upstairs and undressed without a word. When we crawled into bed he didn’t grope me or even mention sex. He just wrapped himself around me and held on like he needed me to keep him together.

“Greg?”

“Yeah, baby?” He kissed and nuzzled at the back of my neck.

“Are you okay?”

He paused. “I don’t know.”

My heart broke a little. I heard the pain in his voice and the truth in his words. “How can I help?” Somehow I knew he wouldn’t tell me what was wrong, and if I pushed him, he would just close me off.

“Just let me hold you.”

I put my hand around his and squeezed it as hard as I could. “For as long as you need.”

We fell asleep just like that and didn’t move all night. The rest of the weekend was more of the same. Greg was moving further and further away from me, whether Brandon was around or not. When we finally dropped him off at the airport I hoped things would go back to normal, but they didn’t. He actually seemed to retreat from me further.

I let him be, partially because I hoped he just needed some time, but mostly because I knew when we finally spoke it was going to get ugly and I didn’t want to do that in front of Natalie. I think she noticed the weirdness, too, but she kept quiet and mostly observed.

I kind of wanted to ask for her advice since she knew Greg a little differently than I did, but decided I didn’t want to involve her. This was adult shit and we needed to figure it out on our own.

But it hurt. He’d gone to so much effort to keep me on my feet while Edward and Lucinda were in town, but I didn’t seem to be able to return the favor. I tried, but nothing worked. There was a wall up between us and I couldn’t break my way through.

So Monday morning I got up and dressed for work—Greg had gone back to his place like usual—but I left the house with a plan. An hour before he normally broke for lunch, I left the office with a takeout bag of Chinese food. I’d never had lunch at his office before, only stopping in before or after work a couple of times, so this was going to be a surprise all around.

When I walked in the front doors, Carol, the receptionist, smiled at me like it was the most normal thing in the world. “Oh, what a nice surprise! You two are so cute.”

I didn’t feel cute, I felt devious. “Is he in his office?”

“He is. He’s been on a conference call for the last hour, so he’ll be glad for a reason to break away, I’m sure.” She gave me a wistful smile as she waved me back.

I was pretty sure Greg was not going to be glad I was there. Not after I started talking.

I knocked on his door and opened it before he answered. His head was bent down as he scribbled on a legal pad, a strange voice squawking out of the phone speaker. He looked up and smiled before the curtain went down over his eyes again.

My Greg was still in there, but I needed to find out why he was hiding.

“Jim, all this is great, but I need to go. Send me the rest of your notes and we’ll schedule a sit-down meeting next week.”

“Sounds good, Greg. Talk to you later.”

Greg hit a button on the phone and the sound ended. “Now this is a surprise.”

I held up the bag of Chinese food. “Imperial Palace.”

“My favorite.”

Yeah, he knew why I was there. The worry was written all over his handsome face.

“How are you doing?” I plunked the food down on his desk and started unpacking it. I didn’t look at him, I was trying to give him some space and the food was the perfect distraction.

“Aside from the usual morons and boring conference calls?”

“Yeah.” I glanced up in time to see him studying me.

“Nothing special. You?”

I set the bag down on the ground beside his desk and took a deep breath. “I miss you and I want to know where you went.”

I had no idea what he was going to say, but my money was on two possibilities. He was either going to lie to me, or distract me. Either way, he wasn’t going to give me the real answer.

“I’m just not feeling well, babe.”

He went for the lie.

“Bullshit,” I tossed the chopsticks at him. “You can lie to yourself if that’s what you need to do, but don’t lie to me. Did Brandon say something?”

He stared at the food in front of him. He didn’t blink or move. Hell, I wasn’t sure that he was breathing. “No. Brandon’s a great guy. I just…” he took a breath and stopped talking.

“Just what?”

He swallowed. “I think we’re moving too fast. I think we should slow down.”

I collapsed into the chair. He was breaking up with me. I knew the next words out of his mouth were going to be the end. This had to be because of Brandon. What the hell did he say?

“How slow?”

The room was silent. Too silent. I was pretty sure I could hear the hum of the machines on the factory floor even though we were a good distance from them in this office. He finally took a deep breath and looked up, right into my eyes. It hurt.

“I think we should take a break for a little while.”

“You mean forever.” I gripped the edge of the desk. I needed something to ground me even if I ripped off my finger nails.

“No. I didn’t say that. But,” his voice cracked. “But we both have issues we’ve been ignoring. We had a good run pretending those things didn’t matter, but they do, babe. We can’t just turn blind eyes to things that are fundamental to who we are. The last few weeks have been perfect. They’ve been a look at what my life could be like. But I’m not there yet. And neither are you.”

No. He was ready. He was. I knew he was.

“You’re just scared.”

“You’re right,” he replied. “I am absolutely terrified of hurting you. I told you from the beginning: I ruin things.”

“Stop.” I stood up and turned my back on him. “Stop saying shit like that. You do not ruin things.” Even though he was ruining us right now.

“I need to fix some things before I can be with you again. Otherwise, babe, that is exactly what’s going to happen.”

“Goodbye, Greg.” I needed to get out of there. I was about to fall apart and I was not going to do it here. He’d ripped open my chest, grabbed my heart, and squeezed it until it burst. I loved him…didn’t he know that?

“Don’t leave.” He stood up and was around his desk faster than I thought was possible—or maybe I was moving much slower than I realized.

“You just dumped me, Greg. I’d like to leave now.”

“I didn’t dump you. I’m asking for some space to work through some stuff.”

I glared at him. “No. I don’t give you space. We’re either together or we’re not. I can’t do this in-between shit. You either love me or you don’t. We either do this together, or we go our separate ways. I will not wait in the sidelines only to have you dump me in a few weeks.” The tears were just barely staying put. “I let you in. I let you help me. We did that together.”

He winced, his hands falling to his sides. “Maybe I shouldn’t have done that.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“We’re not the same,” he shot back. “Trust me, we’re not the same. You’ll thank me for this.” Then he wrenched open his door. “Goodbye Marie.”

The earth could have opened up and swallowed me whole at that moment and I wouldn’t have noticed. The only thing I could see was the look in Greg’s eyes. The man looking at me was different. I didn’t know this man. He was so completely broken it was hard to imagine him ever being whole again.

I couldn’t help someone who didn’t want my help. As long as he was pushing me away I was only going to bring us all down.

It was the hardest thing I’d ever done and I think a little piece of me died that day. But I gathered up every ounce of strength I possessed and looked him in the eyes. “It was a pleasure knowing you, Greg. Good luck.” I didn’t say goodbye. I couldn’t. I didn’t believe that it was the end, but I also had zero hope we would ever find a way back to each other.

Not after this.

29

“Bourbon. Cigar. Baseball game.” Jake sat down beside me on my couch. We were watching the game at my place while Eve was out with friends for the night. I knew “friends” was code for “Marie”. He hadn’t said it in so many words but the guy was acting fifteen different kinds of weird, so I put two and two together.

I held up the glass and checked out the liquid. It was dark and heavy, just the way I liked it. “At least watching the game here means I can drink myself to sleep and not have to worry how I’m getting home.”

Jake shook his head and lit up his cigar. “About that. You’ve been hitting the bottle pretty hard lately.”

I gave him a look that told him to fuck off and thankfully he left it at that. At least I thought he had. An hour later—and half a bottle of bourbon between the two of us, I might add—he got all chatty again.

“What the fuck is going on with you?” He flicked the ash off the end of his cigar before pointing it at me. “And don’t make me get all wordy.”

“Then don’t,” I replied. “Look, you tell me shit and we work things out. But there’s no need to get all damn emotional right now.”

“You broke up with Marie.”

“So fucking what?”

He was quiet for a moment and when he spoke again his voice was much lower and very even. “I think you need to talk to me about what’s going on.”

“Did you get me drunk so I’d talk?” Fucking bastard.

“Yes,” he said flatly. “Eve talked to Marie, and based on what she said, I think there’s something going on. I think you broke up with Marie because of Jenn, and if that’s the reason, then it’s a shitty reason.”

More anger than I knew what to do with ignited inside me. Just thinking about what Brandon the Asshole had said to me, the moronic reasons I’d broken up with Marie, and the even stupider funk I’d let myself fall into, all because of that one conversation, made me hate myself. I was in a shit-spiral and every decision seemed to be worse than the last.

“Fuck you,” I yelled. “It’s not a shitty reason.”

“About time you got angry,” he shot back, then took another sip of his drink like this was just another conversation.

I kicked the coffee table away and stood up. I wanted to punch something, but there as nothing to punch but Jake. “I hated the way things ended, okay?”

I knew from the beginning that I was taking a chance with Marie, and that I’d have to walk away before I hurt them…but the longer I stayed, the happier I got, until I forgot that I needed to leave.

“Then why did it end?”

I spun around and glared at him sitting there on the couch. “You know why and you know it’s none of your damn business.”

I stared at him for as long as I could before Jake broke the silence. When he spoke, his voice was low and even like he was dealing with a crazy person—which is exactly what I guess I was.

“Eve wasn’t any of your business and yet you sure poked your ugly nose in there, didn’t you?” he said.

I winced. It was just a matter of time before he pulled out that card and played it. “It’s not the same.”

“Yes, it is. It’s exactly the same. I didn’t want to deal with my life and I didn’t think I could ask for the future I wanted. You made me do both. I have this life because someone was arrogant enough that he felt like he could interfere and push me to do things I was too chicken-shit to do.”

“The situations aren’t the same.”

“Like hell they’re not. You broke up with the perfect woman because you can’t handle your past. They are exactly the same and you need to fix this.”

“How?” I’d been sitting here for weeks trying to figure that out. Brandon was (as much as I hated to admit it) right about one thing. I was a coward who couldn’t let go of the past. And that meant Marie was better off without me.

“You need to go home, Greg. Back to Hargrove. It’s been too long and until you face all the things you left behind, they’re gonna haunt you, man.”

“Maybe I like being haunted.”

“I know you do,” he said quickly. “You like that slow burn. That pain lets you know you’re being punished. You’re taking your licks…you’re taking them because you haven’t gotten it through your thick skull that you’ve been punished enough. You haven’t figured out that no amount of punishment will change what happened.”

“You don’t get to tell me how much is enough,” I said so quietly I barely heard it.

Jenn was the judge. Her family was the judge.

Not Jake and certainly not me.

“Then you need to go back.”

I closed my eyes.

“You need to talk to them,” he said. “It’s time.”

I didn’t reply for a long time. I just let all of it sink in nice and slow. I went back over each word, one at a time. No amount of punishment will change what happened. You’ve been punished enough. You like the slow burn.

He was absolutely right about the burn. I’d lived off of it for so long that I didn’t know what to do without it. It was as much a part of me as anything else.

“I can go with you if you want,” Jake offered.

I opened my eyes and stared out the giant glass windows behind my television.

Home.

It wasn’t my home anymore. It hadn’t been since that night.

Home was here, now. Everything that made me, me, was here in Tampa. No one in Hargrove would recognize the person I’d become.

Jake and Eve knew the real me. Hell, they even claimed to like me.

I rubbed my chest. The damn, stupid ache never left, but it did get worse when I started thinking about Marie and Natalie. They knew me, too. They liked everything they shouldn’t. No sane person should want to be near me, and yet those two…

They were my home. They were my family.

Brandon was wrong when he said I was trying to replace what I lost. I could never, ever replace Jenn or what I’d hoped to have with her one day. Marie and Natalie weren’t stand-ins, they were something else entirely. They were something different and new.

We were a misfit family that had somehow found each other.

And I’d blown it.

“No. I need to do this on my own.” Jake was right. It was time to go back to Hargrove.

30

I was going to go bald at the rate I was pulling my hair out over Edward and his stupidity. Our one hour video conference had somehow bloomed into two, going on three. I’d excused several of my staff, but three of us were still prisoners at the conference table while Edward used us for attention.

I mean, that had to be what he was doing. There was no other reasonable explanation for him to continue droning on about how much he knew.

Which, according to Edward, was everything.

“Is there any way we can pause this conversation until next week’s meeting?” I asked when he took a breath between sentences.

Edward stared at me so long I started to wonder if we’d dropped the call.

I should have unplugged the router an hour ago…why didn’t I think of that earlier?

“Of course,” he finally said. “Sean and Marissa can go back to work, but I need a few moments with you, Marie.”

Of course he did.

I waited until Marissa closed the door with a look of sympathy before I turned back to my father. “How can I help you?”

He’d been making my life hell ever since his visit. From double checking every single decision I made, to auditing my paperwork, he was everywhere. There were also the phone calls, the new weekly video conference calls, and the simple fact that nothing I did was ever enough. According to Edward, I could work longer, harder, and bring in more money—I needed to seize the entire market available to female executives. I needed my own promo team.

He’d lost his damn mind and I was starting to look for my next move. Family company or not, I wasn’t going to keep living like this.

“Our LA offices aren’t performing as I’d like.”

I raised an eyebrow. Edward usually kept our offices separate. LA took care of LA, he took care of New York, and I was in charge of Tampa. We were the same company, but our offices were autonomous. Well, until Edward started in on the reign of terror. I just assumed it was me he was after, not all of us.

This was very interesting.

“In what way?” I finally asked.

“Hugh’s getting sloppy. The offices are being run with as much care as a government facility. Expenses are growing and accountability is plummeting. We need a full overhaul from the top, down.”

“You’re firing Hugh?” He was practically the son my father never had.

“Possibly. I’ve given him three months to turn things around. He’ll be consulting with you. Expect your workload to be heavy for the next few months. I’m counting on you to get this done right.”

Probably so he could hold it over me for the next ten years. If I didn’t help Hugh get it right, then it would be my fault. If everything came up to snuff, it would because Hugh was fantastic—not because of my help. There was no way this was going to work out in my favor. I’d work my ass off and then get it handed back to me on a silver platter.

“Of course. Consider it done.” I was going to suck up to my father until I handed him my letter of resignation.

Edward nodded. “Excellent. I’ll expect weekly status reports. In my inbox every Thursday morning.”

I plastered a fake smile to my face. “Have a good evening, Edward.”

The moment the video disconnected I stormed out of the conference room. I needed a new job yesterday. Why had it taken me so long to realize this?

But then I looked around Bancroft Sports and realized how much pride I took in my work. These offices were mine—started and built up by me. These people worked for me—not Edward.

And I loved every minute of my job outside of the moments ruined by my father.

It was five o’clock and the offices were emptying out quickly. It was much quieter in the evenings and it gave me too much time to think about how little I belonged anywhere near Edward. How were we related? Could I get a genetic test done? I knew I had his weird blue eye color and my mother’s cheekbones, so obviously I was their kid, but that was where the resemblances ended.

I might as well be an orphan for as loved and comforted as I felt by my parents. At least I had Natalie. But she was in France with Brandon for the summer and despite our daily phone calls, I felt her absence like a hole in my heart.

Empty offices. Empty family. Empty heart.

Yeah, I was having a pity party. But I was drained and felt like life was beating me over the head with the same continuous message. I was never going to be happy if I didn’t change things.

Joan looked up as I entered the office. “That went long.”

“Can I schedule a meeting with you tomorrow morning? First thing?”

Her eyebrows shot up. “Of course. Would you like me to come in early so we don’t run into your first appointment?”

“It’ll be quick. It’s about a change in plans for the next three months. If you can be here fifteen minutes early we can get it out of the way and not cause any issues.”

“No problem. Oh, Grace is waiting for you inside.”

I glanced at my watch and grimaced. I was supposed to meet her thirty minutes ago. “Thanks. I’ll see you in the morning. Have a nice night.”

Grace was sprawled out across my couch with her phone in front of her face playing a game. “About time you showed up. I’m hungry.”

“Sorry, meeting went long.”

“Oh, I heard who you were meeting with. I’m surprised your ears aren’t bleeding.”

I dropped my files on the desk and leaned against it for support. “Where to? I need good food to drown my sorrows.”

“That’s good. You’ve barely eaten in weeks.”

My appetite had taken a hike along with Greg. I was eating, but just enough to get by. It wasn’t like other times when I wanted to eat my feelings. This was different. It was like my desire for anything fun or good had evaporated.

“Well, I want to eat now. Preferably something greasy.” I didn’t know what having a sudden appetite meant, but I was going to feed it.

“Mexican or pizza?”

“Margaritas,” we said simultaneously.

“Well that settles that.” Grace hopped off the couch. “Get your stuff and let’s go.”

Thirty minutes later we settled into a booth. Music blared through speakers and cold margaritas were delivered before we ordered food. Grace had this funny smile on her face the whole time and curiosity got the best of me.

“What’s up with you?”

She batted her eyelashes dramatically. “Me?”

“You look like you have a good secret.”

Sure enough, a huge smile broke across her lips and she blushed a little. “Life is good right now.” She looked down and studied her drink.

Was she afraid to talk about good news in front of me? “Just because things aren’t fantastic in my life doesn’t mean you should keep the good things to yourself. I want to hear what’s going on.”

“Are you sure? I know after Derek left me I wanted to stab people who had good news.”

And that sounded exactly like my best friend. I slid my knife across the table. “Here.”

She laughed, just like I wanted. “Seriously, I’m your best friend. I want to know when good things happen, no matter what is going on in my life.”

“All right.” She bit her lip. “The shop is turning the biggest profit ever. There is a local coffee boom going on and I want to open a second shop.”

“That’s fantastic!” Owning a small business was a volatile roller coaster and Grace had been through the highs and the lows. She must really be doing well if she was considering another location. “Do you have a spot picked out yet?”

She shook her head. “No. I’m looking at spaces by USF and The University of Tampa. I want to take advantage of the college crowd.”

“I’m so happy for you, Grace.”

“There’s more.”

Her smile was infectious and I couldn’t help but smile, too. “Keep going.”

“I have an investor who’s going to create a whole product line for us and a new online store.”

“Expansion is good.” Seriously, I was incredibly happy for her success.

“There’s more.”

Why did I get the feeling she was leading up to something? “Okay?”

“I’m having the best sex of my life.”

Oh.

That was…not what I expected to follow a conversation about business.

“That’s great, Grace. Is this the same mystery man you’ve been seeing?”

She nodded and turned her margarita in circles. “He’s seriously amazing. Smokin’ hot body and eyes that make you come from across a room.”

“Wow…that’s powerful.”

“And he knows exactly how to use that power. It’s addictive.” Grace’s eyes took on a dreamy look and she sighed.

“Are you ever going to tell me who he is?” I still didn’t understand the secrecy. Was she afraid I was going to try and steal him or something?”

“Nope. I like him exactly where he is. He’s not part of my personal life in any way. He doesn’t interfere with my work, I don’t talk about him or my feelings unless I want to, and I get the added benefit of secret sex. So no, I’m not telling you or anyone else.”

“So wait, you’re just using him for sex? Nothing else?” I found that kind of hard to believe. Grace didn’t like to get attached to anybody, but she’d had a boy toy or two over the years and she always gave me all the juicy details.

She was truly using those guys for sex.

And she never had the look in her eyes she had now.

This was more than sex.

“Pretty much,” she shrugged. “I mean we did end up going to a movie last week. And we’ve had one dinner out together. But that’s it. We meet at his place or mine, and do the deed.”

“No talking? Nothing else?”

She chewed on her lip. “Of course we talk a little. But it’s just basic human interaction. It’s not like he’s visiting me at work or getting to know me on some deep level.”

Grace was in denial. I could see it in every word and expression on her face. This dude had her twisted in knots. “You don’t talk on the phone or trade emails?”

“We just text,” she said, looking away.

“So there’s no chance of you changing your mind one day? Taking things more seriously?”

“Why do you care? You know how I feel about guys. I don’t want another relationship. This makes me happy, be happy for me. Please.”

“Of course,” I replied just as our food arrived.

I was grateful for the distraction because I was freaking out over the last thing Grace said.

You know how I feel about guys. I don’t want another relationship.

She’d always reminded me of Greg—they had the same crass attitude toward sex and relationships—and right now it was like she was a mirror image of him.

I’d known he was trying to be something he wasn’t when he started dating me. He was fundamentally flawed and permanently scarred. But he’d genuinely wanted to give us a try and I was so insanely head over heels for him that I jumped in blind with both feet.

I knew the way he left me was a possibility, but it still shook me to my core when it happened. Things between us were so good. I felt more real and alive with him than I’d ever felt before. Now that he was gone I realized how long I’d let my life drift—how empty I’d allowed it to be. For a few brief months everything was different.

And now it was the empty again.

I’d put my life and future in the hands of someone who couldn’t handle it. That was my mistake, but I wasn’t going to make it again.

Asking him to choose between me and his past was a fundamental flaw. No matter how much he cared about me, he was permanently attached to an accident neither of us could change.

I’d asked him for the impossible and expected too much. In a way, I felt horrible for asking him to be something he wasn’t. I knew how that felt and I never wanted to do that anyone else.

“What are you thinking so hard about over there?” Grace eyed me.

“You’ve inspired me, Grace. I need to make some changes.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “What kinds of changes?”

I cut into my burrito with a renewed appetite. “All kinds of changes. Starting with a new job. Then I think we need to talk hobbies. I don’t have any…I think it’s time to change that.”

“Anything else?” she asked. “Is this an early mid-life crisis?”

I shook my head. “Nope. This is me finally taking control of my life. You’ve had it right all along. Life is to be enjoyed and I spend too much of it worrying and trying to fit in. I want a boy toy, I want a new job, and I want a hobby. Preferably something exciting.” I shoved a forkful into my mouth.

Grace stared at me with her mouth hanging open. “I’m all for the job change and the hobby…I think. But the boy toy? You?”

I nodded. I needed to get Greg Hamilton out of my system and I wanted to have fun. Why not combine the two? “Yep. I’m done with relationships.” If I couldn’t be happy being me, as me, and nothing but me, then I was never going to be happy.

No epic love from any man could give me that. It was something that had to come from me.

* * *

“Don’t get me wrong, you’re perfect, Marie. I just want to know why you’re leaving Bancroft Sports.” Isaiah Long was the vice president of the Tampa Bay Lightning—one of only two professional hockey teams in Florida and only a handful in the entire southeast. We were having a quiet lunchtime interview at a café between the rink and my offices.

It was my third such lunch this week.

I quietly put the word out with my tightest local connections, hoping to stay in Tampa. I’d already met with the Bucs and the Rays, and next week I was stepping outside sports altogether with a string of interviews at marketing and advertising firms. I wanted to stay in sports since it was an industry I knew so well, but I also wanted to keep my options open in case Edward decided to make things difficult.

I smiled at Isaiah. I really liked him and the way he ran things. I could be a good fit. “As I’m sure you are aware, sometimes working with family comes with added pressures.”

He chuckled and tossed his napkin on the table. “Family or Edward? Because word on the street is that working for Edward comes with added pressures, so I can only imagine what it would be like to add family connections on top of that.”

He was a very good looking man. Light blue eyes, gorgeous dark hair, nice body, and a fantastic light grey suit. Working for him would come with the side benefit of eye candy.

I leaned in. “Let’s just say that working for Edward has prepared me for any and all high-pressure situations.”

Isaiah grinned and leaned forward, too. We were only inches apart. “I think we would be lucky to have you. I just worry we won’t be able to pay you what you want. Or keep you busy enough.”

Was there extra meaning behind those words? Did his voice drop a seductive octave? I think it did. It made my heart race—just a little. “Well, for one, I expect my salary to match the position. And for two, I would appreciate a slower pace for a while. I have a daughter entering high school.”

“Natalie’s a good kid. But yeah, high school is a rough four years to keep up with. I’ll run your resume up the flag pole, but I can tell you now, the job is yours if you want it. It doesn’t start until hockey season ends, so you’ll have plenty of time to transition.”

A little thrill of excitement ran through me. It was a nice ego boost to hear that other companies wanted me. A really nice ego boost.

“Thank you very much, Isaiah.” I stood up and shook his hand, noticing how he gripped my hand and lingered longer than necessary. It felt wonderful and awful all at the same time. It was exactly the kind of attention I wanted—it was just coming from the wrong man.

I hated that I still craved Greg’s attention.

I slipped outside and walked back to the office. The last two weeks had been filled with a nonstop stream of excitement. When I told Grace I wanted to find hobbies and have fun, I meant it. Not having Natalie around was incentive for me to go buck wild. I wanted to get as much of it out of my system while she was gone.

I went to a book club, but the group wasn’t for me.

I tried parasailing. It was fun, but not exactly something I’d be doing every week.

I tried paddle boarding, snorkeling, and wind surfing.

Next I tried salsa dancing, but it only made me miss Greg. Apparently drinks and clubs now made me think of him and only him. Bastard.

Then I tried joining a running group and things started to click. I could go as often as I liked, the mix of people changed daily, I got in a workout and felt good about myself, and most of the people were really fun. I even went out and had drinks with them on Saturday afternoon. A few of them were training for an obstacle race and I decided to join them. It was the first time I’d met a group of people outside of work that I could have a fun, casual relationship with.

It was a start.

Mixed in with that were two blind dates. One setup by Grace, and one from a new friend in the run club. Both were fine men and I had fun, but in both cases I couldn’t bring myself to hold their hands, let alone kiss them. Sex was completely off the table.

I don’t know what drugs I was taking when I thought I could have a fling. It wasn’t who I was—not even when I did it with Greg. He was special and I think I knew that from the very start. I might have done things unconventionally with him, but my heart and head were always in the right place.

The big dumb lug.

It was warm and the sun was bright so I had a layer of sweat going by the time I got back to the office. I grabbed a water and flopped onto my office couch with an iPad full of work. I even took off my heels and put my feet up.

Edward would blow a gasket if he could see me.

I smiled at that.

But my mind wasn’t on my work. It kept drifting back to the one person I didn’t want to think about. What was he doing? Was he really working on himself or had he just gotten scared?

And, most importantly, why did he feel so strongly that he needed to do it on his own?

Did it matter? We weren’t together and he wasn’t my problem anymore. I was my problem and I was working on me—which was exactly what I was going to keep on doing until I felt happy from my toes to my hair.

31

My trip back was a blur. The emotions were intense and kind of clouded over everything, but there was one conversation in particular that made me really stop and understand.

I was in the kitchen with Kathleen, Jenn’s mom. Her grandkids were running around out back and everyone else was still at work. So it was just me and the woman I’d spent nearly every afternoon with as a kid.

“Cookie?” she asked.

“As if that’s even a question,” I scoffed and held out my flowery china plate for the warm chocolate chip cookie. “But I drink coffee with my cookies now, instead of chocolate milk.”

She grinned and pulled the coffee pot out. “I hear the coffee is a bit stronger down in Tampa.”

“Yeah,” I chuckled, “I do have a thing for the café con leche. It’ll knock you on your ass.”

She raised her eyebrow.

I swallowed. “Sorry, ma’am.”

“Mmmm hmmmm….”

“You know I learned to swear from you, right?”

She sucked in a breath. “You did no such thing. I never swear.”

This was always one of my favorite things about Kathleen. She swore like a sailor in private, but pretended she didn’t know a single curse word in public. Everyone was in on it. It was one of her many charms.

She poured the steaming black liquid in my matching flowery teacup. “Cream? Sugar?”

“Just a sprinkle of sugar.”

She set the pot on a potholder and sat down across from me. “Do you still do this?”

I happily chewed my first bite of cookie before answering. They tasted just like I remembered. “Every afternoon.”

She smiled warmly, like that was good news. We nibbled and sipped in silence for a minute or two, and I got the feeling she was working up to something.

“How long did you work for Tom?” she finally asked.

I’d told them bits and pieces, but never really dug into the nitty gritty details of my life since I left.

“About twelve years.”

“Did you get to travel?”

I shrugged, feeling embarrassed or shy, or something. Definitely weird. “A little. Germany, London, hopped around Europe a bit. Mostly I stuck to work.”

She nodded slowly and took a slow sip of her coffee. Her eyes flicked out the windows to check on the kids and then back to me.

“Why now?” she asked.

I raised my eyebrows.

“Why now?” she repeated. “After all these years of avoiding us, why did you suddenly decide to come home?”

I set my cup down and stared at the black liquid. Sometimes the words flowed soft and easy, but sometimes they got bottled up behind something and I had trouble getting them out. Right then, every word felt like a struggle.

“It was time?”

She shook her head. “It’s been time for a very long time. Something made you finally get on that plane and come home, and I have a feeling it’s because someone woke you up.”

I felt my face grow hot as my heart started pounding in my chest. I swallowed and took a slow, deep breath. “Jake and I became friends for a reason. The minute I saw him I knew he’d lost someone, too. You can just see that emptiness in people like us. I didn’t know at the time we actually had very different stories. Jake had walked away from the woman he loved so he could self-destruct on his own. He didn’t want to take her down with him.”

Kathleen set her cup down and folded her hands in her lap, waiting for me to get to the point.

“I think we did the same thing for the same reason—we both wanted to fall apart somewhere we wouldn’t hurt anyone else.” I shook my head, feeling the familiar panic sweep through me. “I couldn’t hurt anyone else. Not ever again. So I went as far away as I could.”

Her lips turned down. “You self destructed?”

I nodded quickly. “And then I put myself back together. We both did. The difference was, though, that Jake had someone he wanted to be a better man for. I watched him struggle to build himself up into a man he found worthy, and then I watched him hesitate. He was so bogged down in the details of making amends and worrying about wrongs, that he couldn’t reach out and ask for the life he wanted. The life we all knew he deserved. So I opened the door for him. I went to Tampa, opened the door, and all he had to do was walk through it. He just had to decide: did he want to ask for the life he wanted, or did he want to keep debating if he was worthy of it.”

Kathleen’s eyes fell to the table and she fiddled with her teacup. “Have you found someone that makes you want to be a better man?”

The question hung in the air like a lead balloon. It was the heaviest air I’ve ever breathed in. It stung my lungs and made my throat burn. Or maybe those were the tears I was trying to hold back.

“Yes.”

Kathleen nodded quickly and wiped a tear off her cheek. Then she stared out the window for a while before taking a long, deep breath and letting it out. “It was a funny thing…watching you two fall in love at the age of five. Your mom and I talked about it all the time. Would you wind up married, or best friends?”

I smiled.

“We thought for sure you’d be friends after the Great Cooties Incident. You were eight, and one day you two got off the bus and no longer loved each other. Jenn thought you were gross, and you insisted on giving yourself a cootie shot before you’d walk in my door.”

I laughed, and so did she. Those were good memories.

“But then puberty hit and you both had stars in your eyes again. It’s so hard to tell your daughter to be careful around her best friend. You two were inseparable, but we didn’t want you jumping into things before you were ready. But you were good kids. You’d been together forever. You seemed to think you had forever, too.”

And now my chest ached again.

Forever.

It hadn’t lasted very long.

I wiped away a tear and so did Kathleen. This was heavy shit.

“I want to ask you a question, Greg. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but I’m going to ask it anyway.”

I nodded.

“What have you done with your life? Have you done anything meaningful with it?”

That stung and yet, felt relieving at the same time. “I helped my best friend get his life back. That was pretty damn meaningful.”

“To them. Absolutely.”

“I’ve built one helluva company.”

She smiled and nodded. “And for you?”

I cleared my throat and drank some more coffee.

“You know it’s interesting,” she said. “Mrs. Thompson moved in next door just about a year ago. I’d never met her before the day the moving trucks arrived. We had her over for dinner, as you do. Invited her to breakfast once or twice. I’ve lent her sugar and she’s sent over eggs. We’ve gotten to know each other as well as two people who aren’t very similar can. But you know what?”

She leaned in and pushed the plate of cookies towards me.

I took one and cocked an eyebrow. “What?”

“She knows I bake a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies every week because they were Jenn’s favorite. She knows I still listen to Hootie and the Blowfish because they made Jenn giggle, and because of that, I now listen to Darius Rucker. She knows I give everyone a book for Christmas—relative or not—because Jenn loved books and the written word more than anything else. This woman I barely know, knows exactly who my daughter was. Does anyone in your life know why you eat chocolate chip cookies in the afternoon?”

I stared at the cookie in my hand and felt my heart breaking. Natalie knew I loved my cookies—but I’d never once told her why. We bantered about books, but she had no idea why I’d read so many. It would have been so easy to share all of that, but I never did. Not with anyone.

“Those kids out there?” Kathleen turned slightly in her chair and pointed outside to Jenny and Caleb. “They have afternoon cookies just like you and Jenn did. They read books, just like you did. They giggle to Hootie and the Blowfish. They know who Jenny is named after and how much she means to us. She’s not gone, Greg. She’s not here with us anymore, but she’s not gone.”

Being back in this kitchen, sitting at this table with cookies in front of me, and kids playing outside, made me realize how much I missed this part of myself. I’d been hiding from it, pretending it didn’t exist, even though it was a huge part of who I was. Despite the heavy conversation, all I felt sitting at that table was relief. I didn’t have to hide these memories anymore, or pretend this part of my life never happened.

“I see that now,” I finally said.

Kathleen nodded. “I didn’t stop being a mother the day Jenn died. I’m still her mother, and I still needed to be Jessica’s mother. The world will never make sense without Jenn in it, but it still goes on. I am heartbroken and I still grieve, but I’m also still a wife and a mother, and now—because life keeps going—a grandmother. I wouldn’t have those beautiful babies out there if I’d stopped living. And the thing Greg? About life? It really only makes sense if it has a purpose. You need to have a reason to get out of bed everyday, you need to be doing something that matters with your life. In doing so, we make our own lives matter, but we also honor those we’ve loved.”

I was too choked up to speak. Kathleen had been my second mother and voice of reason for so many years. I don’t know why I expected anything less now. She was probably the strongest, wisest woman I’d ever met. This only confirmed it.

And I knew she was right. I’d run, I’d mourned, I’d hid…and none of it had felt right. That was why I was still so twisted and torn—I’d finally come to terms with the idea I couldn’t reverse time and bring Jenn back, but I hadn’t figured out how to bring her life the meaning and purpose I wanted to honor it with. She was a remarkable person and I knew she deserved so much more than my locked away memories.

I was finally starting to understand why it all hurt so much.

“You know, I have a funny thing I always think of when I remember you as a kid.”

I looked up into her eyes. Kathleen was smiling. I could see the sadness, but there was also joy. “Oh yeah? What’s that?”

“You loved to jump. You would build platforms and ramps. I’d find sand pits in the woods where you’d been jumping off a fallen tree. You were nuts. All you wanted to do was jump. I always figured you were a junkie for the fall.”

I grinned and shook my head. “Nope. It wasn’t the fall I was looking for.”

Her eyes lit up a little more. “Oh yeah? What was it then?”

“The landing. You get this rush when both your feet land solidly underneath you. You did it, you’re safe, all is right in the world. You did this crazy thing, but in the end you got both your feet on the earth. It’s comforting.”

Kathleen studied me long and hard. “When was the last time you jumped?”

The one thing I’d avoided since Hargrove was taking chances. The first one I took was starting my company—and that had been a rush. A beautiful, successful, rush.

“It’s been a long, long time,” I replied.

She smiled. “I think it’s about time you jumped again.”

* * *

“Welcome home, asshole!” Eve laughed at me as I came in the door. She couldn’t breakup with my stubborn ass like Marie could, so instead Eve had resorted to harsher than usual insults. I didn’t want to tell her, but she was cutting deep.

“Thanks. Good be home.” Despite her words, Eve hugged me hard and long, and I took every second of it. Going back to Hargrove had been as hard as I imagined it would be.

In the kitchen Jake handed me a glass of Knob Creek and we all stood around the counter while I tried to figure out how to feel around them again.

“Kinda makes you feel like a stranger in your own skin, am I right?” Jake tossed back the rest of his drink and looked me in the eye.

“That’s exactly how it feels. Yeah.” I shouldn’t feel weird around these two. Jake knew exactly what it was like to go home after years of hiding from your past. “It was like I was moving through water the whole time. Everything was in slow motion.”

He nodded. “And now? Did it help?”

Seeing how Jenn’s family had banded together and moved on with Jenn’s memory in everything they did was a huge wakeup call for me.

I cleared my throat and took another sip, staring at the bare countertop. “I thought they hated me. I certainly hated myself, so why would they feel any different? It was more than a little shocking to find out that I was completely wrong.”

Neither of them said anything. They just stood there waiting for me to find the words.

“They don’t hate me and they don’t blame me. Fuck,” I took a deep breath and blew it out. “They miss me.” My hands started to shake so I stopped talking and tried to pull myself back together.

“They said I was always the son they never had, and after the accident they lost both of us. They fucking want me to come visit. Like, on a regular basis.”

“That’s good news, Greg,” Eve said quietly. “Why do you sound upset?”

This was what was so hard to explain—that the way I ran away and refused to move on turned out to be the worst thing I could have done. “Her sister has a daughter named after Jenn. It was surreal to see her.” I cleared my throat and took another sip. “Jenn is in everything they do. She’s everywhere. You were right, Jake.” I looked up and caught his eye. “I liked the burn and I didn’t know how to live without it. Not until recently.”

Not until Marie. I’d royally fucked up the one good thing I’d done in years—all because I was scared.

Eve slid over next to me and rested her hand on top of mine. “Think of where you’d be right now if Marie hadn’t accidentally stumbled into you. You certainly weren’t going to go out looking for her.”

I glared at Eve and she smiled. “What?” she asked. “Something you want to say?”

“One,” I set down my glass and held up my finger. “Meeting Marie was no fucking accident. She was meant to meet me.” I may be a self-absorbed, miserable asshole, but I knew fate when I saw it. Now that I was out of my own way, I could see it clearer than ever. There was no woman more perfect for the man I was now than that woman. And she’d been so close to me for so long…we were meant to meet. It was fate. She was mine.

“And two?” Eve asked innocently.

“And two, just because I didn’t go looking for her before, doesn’t mean I’m not about to go looking for her now.”

Eve grinned and bounced her eyebrows at Jake. “I think this trip did our boy some good. He’s got a fire in his belly.”

“About damn time,” Jake grumbled with a grin. “It looks good on you, by the way.”

It felt good. For the first time in my life I had a purpose driving everything I was thinking and feeling. “I messed things up good, though. I don’t think it’s going to be easy to get Marie back.”

Eve shrugged her shoulders. “Might be easier than you think. I happen to know that when you love someone with all your heart and soul that it’s pretty impossible to ignore them when they never leave you alone.”

I shook my head at the two of them. “I seem to remember Jake having to work pretty hard at getting you back, Eve. You were seriously pissed off at him.”

She nodded quickly with a huge smile on her face. “Thermo-nuclear angry. Throw vases at his head, angry. Chase him with a baseball bat, angry.”

I raised my eyebrows. I’d heard about the vase, but not the bat…

“If you were so damn angry at the asshole, why did you forgive his sorry ass and marry him?”

Eve bit her lip and made those stupid eyes at Jake that made me feel like I was watching something I shouldn’t. “Because, my dear Greg, when you love someone passionately, it goes both ways. I love Jake fiercely, but I hated him just as intensely when he broke my heart.”

“I’m confused. How is this a good thing?”

Eve rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to me. “It means you have a shot in hell of winning her back.”

I was still lost. “How do you know this?”

“Oh yeah, details help, huh?” She smiled at me again. “Because every time we go out and your name gets mentioned, she peels the paint off the walls with her eyeballs—she’s that angry.”

I was trying to follow Eve’s girl-speak. Really I was. “So you’re saying that Marie is really angry at me, and that’s a good thing because it means she really loves me, and if she really loves me it means if I’m an annoying pain in the ass like Jake, I can win her back?”

“Yes, exactly. Duh.” Eve threw her hands in the air. “How do you not follow this?”

I just shook my head and laughed. I might never understand exactly what Eve was saying, but I got the point. Marie was still mine. I just had to show her that I was worth the pain and effort.

32

“You put up a banner?” Natalie stared up at the “Welcome Home” banner I’d hung in the kitchen. I hadn’t gone all out like when she was little—there were no balloons or streamers.

But there was still cake—I mean come on, its cake.

“Would you rather I acted like I didn’t miss you at all? Would you prefer that I look despondent that my freedom is gone?” I put my hand to my forehead and faked a fainting spell.

“Okay, enough with the hysterics. I feel very loved.”

And she looked older. France suited her. A little piece of me was jealous that it seemed to bring so much vitality to my daughter.

Stupid France.

“I have your favorite dinner in the fridge, and then you’re going to tell me everything that happened.”

“Mom,” she groaned. “I talked to you every day.”

“And now, I want to hear it again.”

Despite her complaining, Natalie was actually really excited to relive her summer vacation with her dad. We went through her pictures, she told stories, and I asked questions. We stayed up late and fell asleep in my bed. By the next morning I barely remembered that she’d been gone.

We always had this way of falling back into a pattern, but I had been prepared for fireworks, just in case. Natalie was at that age where I was starting to walk on eggshells. Hormones were hard to handle and something as simple as coming home to boring old Mom after weeks of European adventures could set off a newly independent teenager.

But so far she seemed happy to be home. In a way I wanted her to get mad and transform from sweet daughter to a teenager I didn’t recognize now, when I was ready for it. But I knew she would do it when I wasn’t looking, the little buggers always did it when parents were unprepared.

Sunday afternoon I stayed home while she caught up with Clarissa. I ordered takeout for dinner and was eating in front of the television when she plopped down on the couch beside me. “Can I have some?”

I shoved the second, untouched takeout box toward her. “What, did you think I forgot about you?”

She laughed and opened her box. “My favorite hamburger and onion rings. Best mom ever!”

While she ate, I zoned out. In fact, I did kind of forget she was there until she spoke up. “Um, Mom? You okay?”

She had this puzzled and worried look on her face. “Yeah…what makes you ask that?”

Somehow I doubted I was going to like what she had to say. “Well, you’re eating comfort food and watching Battlestar Gallactica. You basically have a teddy bear and a blanket right now.”

“Did you just call my food a teddy bear and my show a blanket?”

“Yes. Although I do love me some Apollo.” Natalie said. We both stared at Jamie Bamber. “Well, maybe not like this.”

“Fat Apollo is my second favorite Apollo.” Seriously, how did they make such a hot man look like he’d gained fifty pounds? It looked completely real. “He’s so cute and adorable like this. I love Fat Apollo.”

“True, but Hot Apollo is hot.”

Yes he was. “Alright, enough about Apollo. Back to blankets and teddy bears.”

Natalie frowned. “You’re different than when I left, but you’re still sad.”

“Different but sad. Okay…”

“I know you’re not telling me things.” She fiddled with her hands and didn’t look at me which was a sign she knew exactly what things I wasn’t telling her, but was too afraid to admit she’d gone snooping.

“I’ve been on job interviews and am in talks with the Lightning. Is that what you mean?”

She shrugged. “Part of it. You’re leaving your job?”

I shrugged back. “I think so. Things are rough and I’m not happy. I’ve gotten a few job offers and if the details work out, I’ll take one of them. We won’t have to move and I shouldn’t be so miserable anymore.”

She nodded. “I know things with Grandfather are difficult. I totally understand the work stuff and I’m happy for you no matter what.”

“But?”

“I like your run club. I’m really excited you found them.”

“But?” I asked again.

Natalie groaned. “You’re really going to make me say this, aren’t you?”

“If I knew exactly what you were getting at I wouldn’t, but…” I honestly wasn’t sure where she was going. If she was okay with a new job and my new friends, what was she worried about?

“Greg. I’m talking about Greg. You’re sad, Mom. I know you’re trying to hide it. Maybe you’re hiding it from yourself, I don’t know. I just know what I see in your eyes.”

Awesome. I still looked sad. This was…awesome. “I guess it takes longer than I’d like to move on.”

“I still don’t understand why you broke up. You were both happy.”

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Greg had some issues and he wanted to work through them.”

Natalie’s whole face fell. “The car accident?”

“How do you know about that?” I hadn’t told her anything.

“Google, Mom. Seriously. I told you I looked him up. There wasn’t much, but enough to put two and two together. Plus Dad said something about Greg being unreliable.” Then she bit her lip and sighed. “I think this is Dad’s fault, actually. Based on what he said to me…I think he said something to Greg.”

I genuinely wished Brandon was sitting here with us so I could strangle his throat with my bare hands. It was insane the reaction I had to hearing my suspicions confirmed. It was even more interesting how much it made me feel for Greg.

I really hadn’t moved on at all. “I was worried about that,” I grumbled.

“Mom?” Natalie waited for me to look at her. “I miss him.”

That broke my heart. “I miss him, too.” I hated that he’d put up such a massive wall to keep me out. I wondered if there was any way up or through it.

Or if it was even worth it.

If Greg was so traumatized and broken, not to mention hell-bent on being alone for the rest of his life, there might be no point to fighting him.

Especially if fighting to be with him meant having my heart—and Natalie’s—broken over and over again. I loved Greg, and my heart ached for him constantly. I wished I could take away all his pain, but I couldn’t. And in the end, I was so angry at him for pushing me away that I didn’t know what to do with all my anger, so I squashed it down.

And I was going to keep it down until I figured out what to do with it.

“I can’t fix him, baby.”

Her face fell and she scooted across the couch to snuggle into my side. “I think we should watch Fat Apollo become Hot Apollo again.”

I agreed. So I picked up the remote and hit play.

33

I sat slowly sipping my whiskey as I watched the door.

“You haven’t been around much lately. Busy?” Levi the bartender asked as he poured someone else a beer.

“Yeah. Work, life, you name it.”

“Better to be busy than bored, am I right?”

“No doubt.” I’d been sad, bored, and directionless the night I met Marie, hoping to drown my inability to figure my life out with alcohol. A single laugh had changed all of that.

And tonight I was taking my first step toward making things right.

I saw Grace first. Dressed in a slinky red dress with matching heels, she looked like she was out to prove something.

But then Marie walked in behind her. The blue dress clung to her in all the best places, hugging her hips and giving a splash of cleavage that was tasteful to everyone but me. To me it was tempting—I knew what was underneath.

Her blonde hair was styled off to one side. Her eyes were vibrant, but her smile was not. She wasn’t any happier to be back here than she’d been the last time. I watched Grace lead her back to the same side of the bar and order drinks.

This was phase one of my insane little plan.

The plan was good, though I definitely had my reservations. It was more of a long-con than a short game, which I was fine with. I wanted to start back at the beginning—not necessarily starting over, but going back to where it all began. To give us a both a reminder, and a chance to see how far we’d come.

I kept my head down and nursed my drink, giving Grace enough time to plant the seeds. She had been more than excited to join in. She even remembered what they’d talked about that night. The plan was to get Marie here, jog some memories, grease some wheels, and then I was to go over, just like last time, and stir the pot.

Five minutes of waiting later, I heard the laugh that started everything. Marie tossed her head back and laughed hard, the musical sound carrying across the bar, hitting me just as hard as it had the first time.

A minute later Grace left and disappeared down the bathroom hallway. And just like last time, Marie turned and noticed me across the bar. Her eyes widened and her mouth opened, but she didn’t run or get angry. She just stood there, completely shocked.

So I grabbed my drink and made my way around the bar. The sea of people seemed to part for me, like they knew where I was going and that it was important. She watched me the whole way around and didn’t close her mouth until I stopped in front of her.

“That laugh doesn’t ever get old. How are you, Marie?”

“What are you doing here?” she asked, quickly glancing around, and then toward the hallway.

“This is my bar, remember? I drink here all the time.”

She nodded slowly, still not buying my lie. “Does Grace know you’re here?”

I faked surprise and hoped I pulled it off. I wasn’t good at lying. Bullshitting, sure. Telling people where to go? I was an expert. But lying to people I loved? Not so much.

“Is she here with you?”

Marie studied me and then finally relaxed, nodding. “Yeah, she’s in the bathroom.”

“History repeats itself.”

“So it seems,” she said quietly.

“You’re looking good.” I took a second to appreciate the dress up close.

She smiled tightly. “Thank you.”

“I’ve been working on myself.”

She glared at me. “Alone.”

I nodded slowly. “Alone. I’m sorry I pushed you away. I didn’t handle things well.”

“And what exactly were you handling, Greg?” Her normally soft, smooth voice was as cold as ice.

Those must be the eyes Eve was referring to. I could almost hear the paint falling off the walls—it was that vicious. Eve was right: Marie was pissed with a capital P.

And now that I knew Eve’s theory behind it, it made me excited instead of intimidated.

“I didn’t want to hurt you.”

She arched an eyebrow. “So you hurt me anyway?”

Yeah, no win there. “I’m sorry, but yeah. I thought it was better to hurt you by breaking up with you, then hurt you worse by being near you when…” I swallowed.

“When what?”

I stared at my drink long and hard. “When I let you down.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “Was there something specific you were worried about? Or were you just generally making up shit in your head.”

Marie knew how to hit me where it hurt. I needed to remember to never piss her off again.

“Look, I’m not saying it has to make sense to you, but it did to me at the time. The last woman I loved this much died beside me. I blamed myself and I couldn’t fix it. The idea I might hurt you too…was more than I could handle.”

She stiffened and turned pale. “Excuse me?” she whispered.

“I love you, Marie. Very much. I’m an idiot and an asshole. I’ve already proven to you that I do a damn good job of ruining perfectly good things. But this asshole loves you and I’m working on being good enough for you.” I shrugged, trying to play things off like I hadn’t just poured my heart out. “I’m not asking for anything from you. But if and when you’re ready for more, I’ll be here. Waiting.”

She stared at me with her mouth open and her eyes just about popping out of her head. “You love me?”

I nodded slowly, that insane level of fear finally evaporating. Now I felt nothing but confidence when I looked at Marie. “I do.”

“And you felt now was the time to finally say that.”

Finally. The way she said that kinda hurt. “I didn’t understand it before, and I missed the opportunity to tell you. So I’m telling you now. Here.”

She shook her head slowly as if she were trying to erase what I’d said. “And you’re just going to wait for me?”

I looked her right in the eye. “That’s exactly what I’m going to do.” For however long it took. Forever if I had to.

“You broke up with me.”

“And that was a mistake.”

She put her hands up in front of me like she was going to strangle me, and then let them fall back to her sides. “I don’t even know what to do with you right now.”

“You don’t have to do anything. I’m the asshole. I made the mistakes. I left you when I should have turned to you for help. I can promise you right now, I learned how incredibly stupid I was, and I will do whatever it takes to win you back. You can punish me however you see fit. You can take as much time as you need. I’ll wait.”

She made a frustrated little scream in the back of her throat. “You are easily the most frustrating man I’ve ever met.”

“Only because you love me.”

“You’re an ass.”

I grinned and took a sip of my drink, the ice moving around in the glass. “That’s a fact.” I stepped up into her, remembering the way I’d done the same thing the night we met. “And you like that I’m an ass. I’m sorry I couldn’t be better, faster.” I kissed her lightly on the cheek, feeling her sway a little. I put a steadying hand on the small of her back as I reached behind her and set my empty glass on the bar.

I smiled down at her completely confused face. “I’ll be seeing you around.”

“We’ll see about that,” she whispered.

According to Grace, Marie was a roller coaster when it came to me. She loved me one second and wanted to chase me with a hacksaw the next. I’d decided when we devised this plan that I would say what needed saying and walk away, giving her time to process my news.

Giving her time to fall back into love with me.

She wouldn’t be able to do that if she was too busy trying to kill me. So I turned around and went straight home, leaving the woman I loved to figure out what she wanted.

34

“I’m not leaving.” Grace glared at me.

“I want to be alone.”

“And what? Stare at the wall? Cry yourself to sleep? Drink a bottle of wine alone? Hell no.”

All three of those were, unfortunately, valid options. Natalie was at a Clarissa’s for the night, so yeah, staring at a wall and crying with a bottle of wine in my hand sounded pretty damn appealing. “Gracie…”

“What? I’m serious, Marie. You shouldn’t be alone at a time like this.”

“A time like what, exactly?” I hadn’t told her anything about our conversation, but it was probably obvious to anyone that I was freaking the fuck out.

Greg loved me.

I mean, I knew he loved me, but it was the first time he’d said it. And it wasn’t just words, it was in his eyes, too. He meant everything he said.

“A time like Greg,” Grace scoffed like I was an idiot. “You need to figure out what you want, Marie.”

I buried my face in my hands. “I want it to be easy. I want him to love me, and me to love him, and for it to be simple and beautiful.”

She took me by the elbow and led me back into the living room, grabbing a box of tissues off the side table along the way. “You look like you had your heart ripped out of your chest and held in front of your face to examine while it was still beating.”

“So you’re saying I look good?”

She shook her head and sat down. “You have a good man that is madly in love with you. That sounds pretty simple to me.”

“I don’t think there is anything about this that is simple. Let’s review the facts, shall we? I have a daughter and an ex who intentionally drove Greg away. Greg has a broken heart that he hasn’t forgiven himself for.”

Grace rolled her eyes and waved me off. “I hear nothing but a bunch of words right now. Blah, blah, blah. You’re scared, just like he was.”

“Have you been talking to him?” Grace was acting like she knew exactly what was going on in Greg’s head.

“Yes.”

Well, at least she wasn’t lying to my face, there was that. And I couldn’t quite find it in me to be mad.

“He stopped in earlier this week and told me all about what he’s been doing. Then he asked me to help him get some face time with you.”

That explained the sudden need to go back to Time Lounge. “So you think I’m scared?”

She cocked her head. “Besides me and Natalie, how many other people are you totally natural with? You play a role at work—the one Edward has groomed you to fulfill. You play mom with the other mom’s at school. You play super cool, relaxed Marie with your new running friends, but that’s only one part of you.”

I shrugged. This was exactly what I was working on. I didn’t want to play parts anymore. I just wanted to be me. To be happy.

“Exactly. With Greg, you put down all your walls and stopped acting. You were just you. And it had to hurt like hell when he shut you off. It probably felt like a betrayal after everything you put out there. I know that’s how I’d feel.”

My head started to throb and I rubbed my temples. Everything Grace was saying was true, even if I didn’t like hearing it.

It was exciting and terrifying to see Greg standing across the bar just like the night we met. I didn’t even care if it was a setup. It made me remember the way my heart had dropped out of my chest the moment his eyes met mine.

The way my body vibrated with need when his gravelly voice offered me an orgasm.

The confidence I felt to be myself.

It reminded me of every single reason I fell in love with him. “Okay, so I’m scared. I think that’s totally logical.”

“So do I.”

“I don’t want to love him—not until I know how to get through to him when he’s in trouble. He knew exactly what to do when Edward was here. He was everything I needed. But I didn’t know what to do for him when he needed help. I want to give him what he gave me.”

I realized I wasn’t scared that Greg would hurt me or break my heart. I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to give him what he needed. That I couldn’t love him as much as he needed to be loved. I wanted our relationship to work both ways—not just in one direction. Sure I enjoyed the benefits of having a great guy dote on me. And I absolutely loved that he was able to see what I needed when I couldn’t. But I would always be scared that our relationship was one bad day away from falling apart, until I learned how to break down Greg’s walls.

* * *

I’m not sure what the protocol is when your ex-boyfriend comes out of the woodwork and proclaims his love, but it probably wasn’t to avoid him at all costs for two weeks…which is exactly what I did.

Not because I wanted to hurt him or punish him—I wasn’t trying to pay him back the courtesy of leaving.

I needed time to learn. He said he’d be waiting for me when I was ready, so I was holding him to that.

Eve knew what was going on. She was my partner in crime for this. I figured if Greg could use Grace to get to me, then I could use Eve to get to him. Of course she took the opportunity to fill my ears with her thoughts on how long to make Greg suffer. I was surprised that she was a fan of drawing it out. According to her, it made getting back together easier if you knew for sure that you had enough time to be angry first.

“So even though he loves me and I love him…even though I’m ready to forget all the crap and get back together…you think I should pretend I’m still angry?”

“Yes,” Eve said flatly and rolled her eyes. “If you run straight back into his arms you’ll just end up getting mad at him again. There will be too much hidden resentment that you haven’t properly let out yet. Let him dangle at the end of the line for a little longer.”

I cocked an eyebrow.

“What? He’s not going anywhere.” And then she scowled at me. “And neither are you.”

“Did you play Jake like this?” I was honestly a little shocked. I liked to think of those two as magically perfect.

Eve looked away and blushed. “Not consciously. But when I look back I realize I dragged things out a little longer than I should have…”

I pretended to look shocked.

She shrugged. “I think it was for the best. Like I said, when we did get back together, I was ready. This is why I am giving you my hard earned and sage advice.”

“I think you may have a much more devious streak than I ever realized.”

“Girls have to have their secret weapons. Apparently one of mine is watching people squirm.”

There was something to be said for taking my time. My anger lessened every day and I knew when I finally saw Greg that I wouldn’t want to yell or be angry anymore. I just hoped what I’d done didn’t make Greg angry.

I quizzed Jake and Eve. We had a long night of talking. Jake did most of it, clueing me in to the reasons Greg had avoided his past for so long, to the guilt and the ways he punished himself. It broke my heart to hear it all. I just wanted Greg to have a good life, and I couldn’t imagine anyone in his family, or Jenn’s, feeling any different.

Which was why my next move was to call Brandon.

“I assume this is about school?” he asked coolly. Way too coolly.

“No. Wait, what?”

The line was silent for longer than I liked. “Natalie and I have been discussing her coming to school here next year.”

“What!” I shrieked. I was already anxious and angry, now my blood pressure was through the damn roof.

“It’s a really good school, Marie. And she is my daughter, too. It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world for her to live with me for a year or two.”

I didn’t know if I was repulsed by the idea of Natalie living with Brandon instead of me, or just angry that I hadn’t heard about it from her first. And then an idea I really didn’t like hit me. “Is this is about Greg?”

The line was freakishly silent again. “Yes and no. Is this phone call about Greg?”

It was my turn to let the line go silent. I counted backward from ten, letting my breath out slowly before I spoke. I was really glad he was on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean so I couldn’t accidentally kill him with my bare hands in a fit of insanity.

“Yes. Natalie informed me that you had some things to say about him.”

“Yes, I did. I don’t think he’s the best person to have around my daughter.”

“I don’t think you’re the best person to have around my daughter. Greg isn’t perfect, but he’s a very good man and he loves Natalie completely.” When Brandon didn’t respond I kept going. “I think you were jealous of Greg. You saw how close he was with Natalie. You saw the connection they have and the ways he’s able to be there for her. I think instead of sucking it up and being a man about the choices you made, you chose to hurt someone your daughter and I both love.”

“He’s a loser, Marie. He ran away—”

“We all do, you idiot. We all run away from something. At least what Greg ran from was something horrible. What did you run from, Brandon? Being a dad? A husband? Are you so sure you want to toss around insults? Because I can tell you right now you can’t play this game. Greg’s going to win every time. You aren’t half the man he is.”

And then I hung up the phone before I really said something I regretted. The words were already on my tongue…

After that I had a few sessions with a therapist who explained the different ways people grieve. I read books and learned as much as I could about the ways we protect ourselves from pain. I learned a lot about myself along the way.

Greg and I had both wasted too much of our lives protecting ourselves from pain. It was time to move on—even if it hurt us some along the way. I felt much more capable of handling Greg when I agreed to dinner with Grace at Saison Grille.

Greg didn’t know that I knew that he had set it up to run into me after dinner. It was a reverse game on my part. Grace and Eve knew my plans and made sure everything was handled. Natalie was at Eve’s anxiously awaiting news.

I felt like I was walking on a cloud when we arrived at the restaurant. This was it. Tonight I was telling Greg that I loved him, too. Tonight was the beginning of the rest of our lives.

35

I didn’t push things after the night at the bar. Like I said, it was a long-con. Marie didn’t call me, but I heard reports that she was flustered by seeing me there. Grace said that Marie seemed receptive to the idea that maybe she could give a relationship with me another try one day.

Maybe.

So two weeks later I moved on to stage two: dinner at Saison Grille.

I honestly didn’t know how I was going to feel seeing her here again. It was the start of so much. It was the moment I realized how strongly I felt toward her. That night was every bit as important and life changing as the night I met her.

Plus, I hadn’t seen her in two weeks. I missed her.

Ridiculously.

I missed her laugh. The way she smelled. The way she always relaxed under my touch, which was why I loved touching her so much. The way she curled into me whether we were standing side by side, or lying in bed.

But mostly I missed getting to love her.

We were all in on it at this point—even Natalie. She was playing her own game of subliminal messages at home by watching a non-stop stream of romantic movies, reading romance novels, and talking about all her favorite couples throughout history. There was no way I wasn’t on Marie’s mind every minute of every day.

I was sitting at the same table as before, and Jake was with me. We were into our main course when Marie and Grace were seated. Jake was being unusually quiet.

“You think this is a terrible idea, don’t you?” I asked.

Jake stopped with the fork halfway to his mouth. His eyebrows shot up. “You’re asking the man who showed up on Eve’s lawn after ten years with no warning if I think this is a bad idea?”

Right. “Yeah, I guess you’re a fan of the elaborate plans.”

“Just a little.” He finally ate his bite of steak. “I think we all have our ups and downs, and sometimes we need to protect ourselves from those downs. But when your heart is in the right place, it is okay to make grand gestures to prove it. Women like grand gestures.”

“I don’t want to push her away.”

“You think friendship will be enough? You love her, man. Like I love Eve. Friendship is never enough when you love someone that completely.”

I looked across the room. She was just barely visible through the crowd. If she turned, she’d see me, but it was an awkward angle, so I doubted she would.

I was hiding in plain sight.

“But I also love her enough to be her friend if that’s what she really needs from me.”

Jake nodded slowly. “The most exquisite pain ever.”

“Yeah…that.” My chest ached thinking about years of friendship instead of years as a couple. It might be a fine line, but it was a significant one.

It was exactly what Marie had said to me in my office. She pleaded for me to let her in. She said we needed to tackle our issues together, fight as a team. Instead I pushed her away. I relegated her to the sidelines and made her watch when, I’m sure, all she wanted to do was be in the trenches beside me.

I understood the difference now.

“Thanks for all this,” I said as I pushed my plate back.

“After all you’ve done for me? This is a drop in the bucket.”

Jake didn’t realize how much he’d done for me. “I never would have gone back to Hargrove if I hadn’t met you, Jake. Hell, I’d never have moved to Tampa, either. Which means I never would have met Marie. I owe you everything.” I’d still be hiding out and working twenty hour days for Tom if it weren’t for him.

“And I would not be sitting here listening to this mushy, heartfelt conversation if you hadn’t forced me to move back here. So, call it even before I start confessing my deepest secrets and we read my diary, okay?”

“Hey, that’s an actual concern when it comes to you.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Don’t knock my journals, man. They work.”

I couldn’t argue with that.

The waiter cleared our food and we ordered brandy. I hoped dinner didn’t take too much longer. I was patient, but knowing she was so close was starting to wear on me.

And then all of a sudden everything was in motion. Marie and Grace stood up and moved to the bar.

“You ready?” Jake asked with a stupid smile on his face.

“I was born ready.” Well, not really. If I’d been born ready I wouldn’t have screwed things up the first time.

“Good luck.”

I didn’t need luck. I needed perseverance and she needed to believe in me. I slowly made my way through the crowded restaurant and to the bar. They were seated in the middle with their backs to me. Grace glanced back and caught my eye, she gave me a quick nod and then a moment later she stood up and headed toward the bathrooms.

Poor girl was always hiding in the bathroom for me. I needed to send her a gift or something to make up for it.

“She’s in a good mood and a little tipsy. Good luck,” she murmured as she passed me by.

Well, if everyone was gonna keep wishing me luck, I was gonna start storing it up. Couldn’t hurt, right? I took a deep breath, cracked my neck, and sat down beside Marie.

“This seat is taken,” she said putting out her hand. Then she saw me. “What the fuck?”

I grinned. I loved that reaction. Marie was a little easier to deal with when she was feeling feisty.

“Deja vu?” I said. “Or maybe you’re just eating at my favorite restaurant again. Are you following me?”

It was a stupid psychological tactic to throw it back on her, but it worked. Her cheeks turned red and she sputtered. “Of course not. How am I supposed to know you would be here tonight?” Then her face relaxed and she gave me the stink eye. “Oh, you’re just riling me up.”

I grinned, feeling cocky and suddenly very natural. “You make it easy.”

Then she looked me up and down and I couldn’t quite read the expression in her eyes, but if I didn’t know better I’d say she was up to something.

“You seriously ate dinner here tonight and just happened to see me up here at the bar?” she asked.

I flagged down the bartender and ordered us both a Templeton Rye, just like the first time. “I seriously just ate dinner. With Jake.” I nodded at him as he walked toward the entrance. He gave us a casual wave and an easy smile.

“Hmmm.” She waved back. “Looks like your ride is leaving. You should go. Wouldn’t want to miss him.”

“I drove separate.”

“Of course you did.” She looked me right in the eye. It felt damn good to have her eyes on me again, even if it was a skeptical appraisal.

“How’ve you been?” I asked.

The bartender delivered our drinks and I handed him the cash.

She picked up the whiskey and took a tiny sip. “Very good.”

“You or the whiskey?”

She grinned, but didn’t look up at me. “Both.”

“And Natalie?”

She took another sip and then set the glass down, turning to look up at me. Her eyes were hypnotic. So blue and intense. “She’s wonderful.” Then she frowned. “She’s trying to talk me into a year in France.”

“Both of you?” It was going to complicate things if they moved.

“Just her. Brandon showed her some amazing school. She’s in love and wants to live with her dad next year.”

“What are you going to do?”

She shrugged. “I haven’t figured that out yet. You know how she is. What do you think I should do?”

I shouldn’t have been surprised by her question, but I was. I guess when it came to Natalie I was still considered a friend. “I’m sure it would be an interesting experience for her. She’s probably at an age where she’s wanting more from her dad and well…the kid loves travel, history, reading…I can’t imagine it would be a bad idea to give her some latitude.”

Marie frowned. “I know. I was thinking the same thing.”

I reached out and squeezed her hand without thinking. It was just pure instinct to want to comfort her when she looked like that. We both stared at my hand on hers.

“I know this must be hard,” I said, “but something like this won’t change your relationship.”

I took my hand back and she nodded slowly. “I’ll keep thinking about it and talking with her. Applications are due soon, that’s why it came up.”

I shrugged. “Apply, see where it all goes. You don’t have to decide for a while.”

She took another sip and forced a smile onto her face. “Thanks for the advice.”

“Anytime.” I leaned down and lowered my voice, knowing it would have a significant effect on her. “When it comes to you and Natalie, I am always available and I will drop anything to help.”

I watched her neck as she swallowed. It was so delicate, and yet so telling. A flush crept up her chest and I loved seeing that she was affected just as intensely as I was.

“Marie?”

She glanced up at me. “Yes?”

“I miss you.”

“I miss you, too,” she whispered.

“I went back to Hargrove.”

My heartbeat thudded in my ears while I waited to see what she did with that. Maybe she already knew from Eve, or even Grace, but either way, she didn’t really react.

“Did you find what you were looking for?” she asked when I didn’t say anything.

“Yes and no.” I looked up at the ceiling and took a breath. “I got the closure I needed, but I got something else I wasn’t expecting.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “And what was that?”

“A kick in the pants.”

“Excuse me?” an adorable smile turned up the corners of her lips. I think she might have been amused by the image of me getting my ass beaten.

“You got a minute? I’ve got a convoluted way of explaining things.”

“Interesting. Usually you’re blunt to the point of pain,” she batted her eyelashes.

Oh God, how I missed her. “You do have a point there. But this isn’t something I want to get wrong. Extra words are needed.”

I waited for her to nod before I dove in.

“Jenn’s family made it very clear that I am my own biggest enemy and they’d really appreciate it if stopped being a sorry shit.”

Her mouth fell open.

“I know. Crazy, right?”

She nodded and closed her mouth.

“So basically they told me the only way to make them happy would be if I was happy. They told me to stop throwing away my life and start talking about Jenn again. Apparently you can’t keep someone’s memory alive if you keep it to yourself.”

Marie was very still as she sat there waiting for my next sentence. I didn’t know how it was going to feel to say it, or how Marie was going to react to it.

“I’ve been frozen. I thought punishing myself and hiding out was the best way to hold on to her. I owed it to Jenn to stop living, right along with her.” I took a breath. “But I was wrong. I did the exact opposite of what I was trying to do. If I want to celebrate who she was and what we had, then I need to live a good life that honors the gift it was to know and love her.”

I kind of expected Marie to run for the door. I mean, I was professing my undying love for another woman. I wouldn’t blame her if she never wanted to look at me again. But she surprised the hell out of me by taking my hand.

“I understand. I’m not going to insult you by saying I know how you feel, because I don’t. But I understand. Well, sort of.” She frowned. “I don’t know what I’m saying anymore.” Then she took a long deep breath and blew it out. It was cute the way her hair fluttered around her face when she did that. I reached out and brushed it back because I wanted to touch her more than anything else, and I thought maybe her hair was still safe territory.

“I’m listening,” I murmured.

She sighed. “I get what you’re saying about being frozen. I really get that part. Like on a fundamental level of understanding. I even get what you mean about punishing yourself. Greg, I don’t blame you for any of that. I might have done the same thing in your position.”

I studied every inch of her face, just in case she walked away and I never saw her again. I wanted to remember exactly how she looked right now. “I love you.” She needed to hear that now and every day for the rest of her life. “I honestly, truly, love you with everything I have. I hope you can understand that, too.”

She nodded and nibbled on her lip. “Sometimes I get confused, but I also know you love me.”

And then it struck me how comfortable she was with me. “Marie?”

“Yeah?”

“Why are you here?” She was just sitting across from me, touching me, talking to me, like we were still together—except we weren’t. She’d been avoiding me for weeks.

She fought the smile on her lips. She fought really hard, but she lost. “Eating dinner with Grace?”

“And where’s Grace?”

“Hiding in the bathroom.”

Okay, so now I was smiling. “Hiding?”

Marie nodded quickly. “You know, so you and I can talk. Just like you wanted.”

“You knew I was going to be here?” I almost missed the little tells. Hope wasn’t lost—in fact it was looking kind of good at the moment.

“Yeah, I knew. Actually, everyone knew I knew, but you.”

I glanced around the bar half expecting to see our friends eavesdropping from a hightop, but I didn’t recognize anyone. “What exactly are your intentions, young lady?”

She shrugged and took a long sip of her whiskey, looking every bit as confident and seductive as the night I met her. Now that I was out of my head and really looking at her, I realized she looked good. Not just beautiful and sexy, the way I always saw her, but happy and vibrant, the way I knew she could be.

“My intentions were to hear you out, then tell you I love you.”

It was a damn good thing I was sitting, otherwise I would have fallen on my ass.

She nodded and smiled. “Oh yeah, you heard me right. I love you, Greg Hamilton. Swear words, dirty mouth, asshole attitude and all.”

And just like that, no assholes, doubts, or mistakes mattered anymore. I had the one and only thing I truly needed.

“I fucking love you,” I murmured as I stood up and put myself around her crossed legs, wrapped my hands around her face, and kissed the shit out of her.

She kissed me back and I wished we were alone instead of in a bar so I could feel her skin against mine.

“Greg?”

“Yeah?” I didn’t want to talk anymore. No more talking, only kissing.

“I love you, but I do have questions.”

And that cooled me right off. She was right. There were things that needed to be said. I kissed her lightly on the lips and then sat back down—this time six inches closer and her hands locked inside mine. I wasn’t letting go again. Not ever.

“Fire away. I am an open book.”

Then she smiled and cocked her head to the side. “Um, this may be forward of me, but…can we take this back to my place in case we feel like celebrating?”

The last thing I heard was a yelp as I grabbed her hand and ran out of that restaurant as fast as I could.

36

I took a deep breath as I sat on the couch looking at Greg. It was quiet here. I could hear myself think and, most importantly, feel the very special vibration Greg always had in the air around him. It was intoxicating and I kind of got high on it.

“So you went home.” I was stating the obvious, but it was a place to start.

“It’s not home anymore.”

Oh…shit.

I took the glass of water off the coffee table and drowned myself in it—anything to give me a second or two.

“My home is here. With you.”

I stopped drinking before I actually drowned. “Good. This is where you belong.”

He smiled.

I set down the water.

I was doing this. I wanted Greg and he wanted me.

“Marie?”

“Yeah?” My heart was beating at Mach Three.

“No more maybes. Not from me. I’m all in.”

I nodded. I knew he was all in—it was in his eyes. There was still a little pain in there, and I was sure it would probably always be there.

But everything else had been replaced. Instead of the darkness that used to haunt him, there was a glint. A sexy, confident, happy glint.

“Me, too. I’m all in.”

He moved very slowly and deliberately, placing his hands on either side of my face. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” I really was. It was terrifying to put so much of myself in someone else’s hands, but when we were together I forgot about that because all I could feel was a love so intense it blotted everything else out.

Doubts included.

“Kiss me.”

He didn’t hesitate for a second. He kissed me tenderly and then deeply, just the way I liked it.

“It’s okay to be scared, you know?” He nipped at my lower lip. “I’ll work it out of your system.”

“Oh really?” I growled back.

“Oh yeah. One kiss at a time. I’m not going anywhere ever again. You’re stuck with me.”

I let him kiss me some more. I found a little more peace in every one. Every moment we were apart had felt wrong—like the fabric of my life was being slowly torn apart. Now that he was back, everything was falling into place.

“Don’t ever hide from me again. We’re a team,” I whispered.

He looked deep into my eyes and nodded. “I promise. I understand that now.”

I bit my lip because I had one more question and it was the hardest one of the bunch. “You’re not frozen anymore?”

He swallowed and shook his head. “Nope.” He ran his fingers down my face and pulled me in for another quick kiss. “Going back finally taught me that moving forward doesn’t mean what I had with Jenn is over. I’ll always love her and what we had will always be important and special, but if I really want to remember her, I have to make new memories with new people who will know how special she was, too.”

He pressed his forehead against mine and squeezed his eyes shut. I closed my eyes and took all of him in—every vibration and scent. The feel of his hands and the sound of voice.

“Marie, I love you. This man in front of you isn’t the same man I used to be. Life changed me—for better or worse.”

“Not worse,” I whispered.

“And that’s why I’m not frozen anymore. Whoever I am now, for some reason you love me for me. And I don’t know if you understand this or not, but I love every inch of you just the way you are.”

I think I was always going to be a tiny bit jealous that a piece of his heart would always belong to someone else, but I finally understood that it didn’t change what we had. We had a special kind of love and Greg loved me with every ounce of his soul, just like I loved him.

“I want to give some of Jenn’s books to Natalie, if that’s okay with you.”

I nodded quickly. “She’ll love that.”

He kissed me again. “I love you, Marie. I was meant to love you. Just like you were meant to love me. You are a part of me and you always will be.”

I crawled into his lap, wrapped myself around his hard body, and tugged on his hair. “I’ve waited to meet you for a very long time, Greg Hamilton. Let’s not waste another minute.” He rolled me underneath him and promptly reminded me how good we were together—and how dirty his mouth could be.

“I want to be inside you all the time. Every day. Every minute of every day.”

“That would get awkward,” I gasped as I rocked my hips up to meet his.

“Maybe, but who cares?”

I moaned as he thrust inside me over and over. His kisses were fire on my neck. “Not me. Nope. Don’t care. We can eat takeout and live in my bed.” I wondered how many times we would have this exact conversation over the years.

“Excellent. Fuck. You are like heaven for my cock.”

He slid deep and I gasped, the lightning of an impending orgasm igniting inside me. I threaded my fingers through his hair. “And you make me feel so good.”

He groaned as my orgasm took over. “I’ll make you happy, Marie. I promise.”

* * *

A week later, we packed up Greg’s condo. I didn’t want to waste another minute sleeping in separate homes. Greg was family now and his home was with us. He didn’t have too much stuff, which made me both happy and sad. It made moving him in a heck of a lot easier, but realizing how little attachment Greg had to anything was hard to swallow.

Of course, there were a few funny things I learned in the packing process. “Where are your sheets?”

He didn’t look up from the DVD’s he was packing, but I noticed that he hesitated before answering. “I don’t have any.”

His hall closet was barren. One extra towel. One spare washcloth. And a bucket.

“That’s very frugal of you.” But something was nagging at me. Some little memory that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

“Yeah, Sally washes my sheets once a week while she cleans the condo. No need for a second set. Just takes up space.”

We were moving Greg’s bed in to replace my guest bed. Natalie infected all of us with a stomach bug earlier in the week and Grace had come over to bring us food and cleaning supplies. She ended up staying in the guest room one night and discovered that she absolutely loved my guest bed—so I gave it to her.

And then it hit me. “Wait…you only have one set of sheets?”

He froze with five DVD’s in his hand. “Yes…”

“Then why do I remember a different set of sheets? The first night you had one set, and then the next night there was this set.”

He stayed frozen, his back to me. Then he slowly put the DVD’s in the box, stood up and walked over. He had a funny look on his face and I couldn’t quite tell what it was—but it was somewhere in the neighborhood of mischievous.

“You’re right. I did have two different sets of sheets that weekend.”

“Why does this sound like a big deal?”

“Because it is,” he said with a grin. He tucked a stray hair behind my ear and then grabbed my chin lightly between his thumb and forefinger. “That first night we spent together changed everything and it scared the piss out of me. You rocked me to my core and threw my whole world out of balance. And as a kicker, my bed smelled like you. You were everywhere. I woke up dreaming you were still in bed with me and I couldn’t take it. I freaked out and bought new sheets.”

“What happened to the old sheets?”

“I threw those fuckers away.”

That was easily the oddest romantic thing I’d ever heard. “But we came back and slept on the new sheets.”

He grimaced. “We did. You’re a siren. A dangerous, dangerous siren. You had me hook, line, and sinker after that. Sally didn’t wash those sheets for a week.”

“Romance with you is always going to be a little bit different, isn’t it?”

He pulled me against him roughly, picking me off the ground in the process. “Would you prefer things a little more traditional? Cuz I can do romance any way you want it.”

I shook my head and kissed him. “I wouldn’t change a thing.” There was something so genuine about the ways Greg showed me he loved me. Anything else would feel forced.

“What do you say we give the sheets another try?” He bounced his eyebrows.

“Yes, please!”

He walked us straight into the bedroom and laid me on the bed.

37

My first Christmas with the girls was nothing short of life changing. We all flew to Paris to spend it with Brandon and his new girlfriend…and to clear the air. Natalie still wanted to go to that fancy school in Paris, which wasn’t an easy thing to sell when her parents weren’t exactly on speaking terms.

I was so stupidly happy that I decided to be the bigger man and help Natalie patch things up. Brandon was an asshole and I’d probably always hate him for what he said to me, but that didn’t mean we all had to act like children.

“I don’t think we have anything left to say to each other,” he said when I called.

“Oh, we’re just getting started,” I replied.

“I’m Natalie’s father and—”

I cut him off before he could blow any more hot air into the atmosphere. “Just shut the fuck up, you stupid fucktard. I should fly to Paris and remove your teeth one by one, but I’m not going to do that. You know why?”

Funny, the line was silent.

“Fine, I’ll tell you anyway. Because I love Natalie and the last thing I want to do is break her heart. Hurting her dad would break her heart, in case you couldn’t put those two ideas together. Kind of like how you broke her heart when you decided to get rid of me. I got news for you asshole, I’m not going anywhere. I love Marie and I love Natalie. So if you don’t want to hurt the people you supposedly love, I’d get used to the fact that I’m going to be around for the rest of your life.”

Brandon coughed, so at least I knew he was still there. Shocked as shit, but still there.

“You’re sure about that?”

I smiled. “Very sure.”

I could practically see the fire coming out of Brandon’s eyes from across the world. “Fine. But you need to understand one thing, Greg Hamilton. You’ve already used your one chance to fuck up. You do it again and I will make sure you never get up again.”

“I understand perfectly.” There wasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell I’d ever make that mistake.

Once I had things settled with the asshole, I squared things with Marie. But she still—quite literally—grabbed Brandon by the balls and threatened him. It was really fun to see the pain on his face, even if it was completely unnecessary.

He and I had an understanding, and now they did, too.

The trip also gave Marie a chance to see the school Natalie wanted to attend. It was a very good school and we all decided she should go as long as she felt it was good for her, but I was a little sad to know my time with her was already slipping away.

But spending the holidays with the woman I loved in the City of Lights was probably the most fun I’d ever had. We stayed up late, ate ourselves into several comas, drank expensive wine, and made love with the hotel windows open every chance we got.

Unfortunately my Christmas present to her got upstaged by her father. When Edward got word that Marie was thinking of taking the job with the Lightning at the end of the hockey season, he called to give his official final date at Bancroft Sports. According to Edward, he’d been preparing to hand things over to Marie anyway, which was why he was being so overbearing.

It didn’t really matter if that was the reason he was finally stepping down or not, just that he was. Marie was overjoyed.

Everything was falling into place.

All except one last thing.

It was New Year’s Eve. Jake and Eve were throwing a black-tie party at their house and we were dressed to the nines. Natalie had on a dress that made her look like a full blown teenager and it was breaking my damn heart.

I’d given her Jenn’s copy of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, her absolute favorite book, as a Christmas gift, hoping it would be a reminder to her that life was precious and real love was special. Hers were the only hands that book belonged in.

She was going to be dating before we knew it and stepping into adulthood. I hoped one day she would find a good guy who appreciated how wonderful she was.

But it was Marie who kept distracting me. The makeup was heavier than normal, but it was that sexy, sultry, “I’m up for anything” kind of makeup. Her hair was down in a tumbled mess of waves that begged to be fucked. And the dress? Oh, the dress…the perfect shade of blue to compliment her eyes, cut to hug every curve, and strapless, with a deep V between her breasts.

She. Was. Hot.

And all mine.

“You look like you want to eat me,” she purred into my ear as we walked inside.

“I do,” I replied. “Until you come undone.”

She took a shaky breath and let it out. “Well then.”

I nodded. Oh yeah. Tonight all the pieces were finally coming together.

We found Jake and Eve in the backyard. Those twinkly lights had been strung up everywhere and the backyard looked like a fairytale or something. A bunch of people were mingling around with cocktails and a band played on the porch.

“Hey you two,” I interrupted what appeared to be some sort of silent conversation of smiles and ridiculous looks.

“Hey! Glad you two made it.” Eve hugged us both. “Hot damn, woman. Can I borrow that dress one day?”

“Yes, can she? Like tomorrow?” Jake chuckled.

I pulled Marie against me. “Buy your own damn dress. This one’s mine.”

Marie rolled her eyes. “You two look really happy.”

They grinned at each other again and I got the feeling there was more there than they were letting on.

“You two don’t look too bad yourselves,” Eve smiled at me.

“Thanks.” I kissed Marie’s temple. “We better hit the bar before you two run out of booze.”

“Not happening. We’re stocked for an apocalypse. But yeah, get some drinks and have fun!” Eve called as we walked away.

Honestly, I didn’t care where we were, what we were wearing, or what we were drinking. As long as Marie was with me, I was happy.

As we hopped into the short line I caught sight of Grace walking in. And holy shit, her date. I tugged on Marie’s arm. “Hey, baby…Grace came with her mystery man.”

Marie craned around me and I watched for her reaction. Her eyes went wide and her jaw fell open. “Oh my God.” She clapped her hand over her mouth. “She’s dating Kyle Rogers?”

“Apparently.” It made sense in a way. They had hit it off really well the night they met. And that was right around the time that Marie said Grace started acting funny.

“I guess the Saison Grille is a magical place for everyone!” she said.

I couldn’t argue with that. “Go say hi. I’ll get us all some champagne.”

Marie kissed me on the cheek and ran off. I watched as they all smiled and hugged. I could live with Kyle hanging around. He seemed like a good guy from what I could tell.

We mingled and drank until it was almost midnight. Everyone gathered in the backyard with the band and flutes of champagne for the big midnight toast.

But instead of joining everyone else, I brought Marie back inside.

“Where are we going?” she giggled. She was a little tipsy, but not drunk. Neither of us were.

“To the front door.”

“Are we leaving?” she whispered loudly.

“No. We’re just going to the front door.” I stopped on the tiled floor just inside the door. The house was dim and lit by only candles. The Christmas tree still glowed in the living room, giving everything that magical holiday feel.

It was perfect.

I turned her to face me. “We met at the bar. That was the first time you changed my life—just by walking into it.” She looked up at me and I could tell she was wondering what the heck was going on. “Then the next night at the restaurant you changed my life again by agreeing to spend the night with me. Then of course, you ran me over.”

“With a grocery cart,” she qualified with a smile.

“And I knew after that weekend I needed you in my life. I didn’t know who you were or where you worked. I didn’t know where you lived or anything else about you. All I knew was that your name was Marie and you were what I needed.”

“Greg…” she whispered.

“But it was right here, in this foyer, that you really entered my life. You walked into my heart and you never left. I finally knew exactly who you were and that we’d been one degree away from each other for so long. We had the same friends, the same little world. I love you, Marie. And I want to start the new year with a new life.”

The crowd in the backyard started chanting the countdown. I pulled out a beautiful diamond ring and held it up. Then I kneeled down with her left hand inside of mine. I felt like I had the whole world in my hand.

Mine to protect. Mine to lose.

“Marie Eloise Bancroft, I love you and I want to spend forever with you. No one can ever love you the way I do, and no one will ever love me the way that you do. Will you please be my wife?”

We had never talked about marriage. Not once. I had no idea how she felt about it, but I knew I wanted to take the chance. I wanted to marry her and officially be a family. I wanted to prove my love to her and make her my wife.

If she said no, I’d live. It was fast and hard for both of us, so I wouldn’t be surprised if she wasn’t ready.

But I was also completely sincere. Life was short and when something special comes along, you have to grab ahold of it with two hands and hang on with all you have—give it everything.

“Happy New Year!” The shouts echoed through the house.

Marie stood there with her mouth open and her eyes on mine. She was completely expressionless and I had absolutely no idea what she was thinking.

Then she closed her mouth, took a deep breath, and smiled. “Yes, I will be your wife.”

“Happy fucking New Year,” I whispered and slipped the ring on her finger before I stood up and plastered her back to the front door. “It’s gonna be a good year.”

“A damn good year,” she agreed, grinding against me and kissing me until I forgot who I was. “They have a guest room, you know.”

I ran my hand down the curves of her body and hooked her thigh around me. That was when we heard a little giggle.

It seemed we had an interloper.

“Natalie?” I growled. Marie grinned.

She popped up from the couch ten feet away. “You’re getting married?”

I would have stepped back from Marie, but I was sporting a rather impressive erection at the moment. I didn’t want to chance it, even in the dark.

“Yep,” Marie said over my shoulder. “I thought you might be okay with me keeping this guy around for a little longer.”

“About time!” she grinned.

“Go spy on someone else,” I growled.

“Okay, okay. I guess you two love birds should be allowed to make out.”

Well, no matter how old she looked, at least she still had an innocent little mind—because we were so not going to make out.

“She’s gone,” Marie whispered after a moment.

“Good. Fancy a celebration fuck?”

She shook her head and grinned. “Only if you keep talking like that.”

“Oh baby… the things you do to me.” Mind, body, and soul. She had all of me.

And I couldn’t wait to see where life took us next.

NEVER LET GO

NEVER LET GO

by Alexis Anne

http://AlexisAnneBooks.com/

Copyright 2016 by Alexis Sykes

All rights reserved.

Cover art by Alexis Anne.

This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without expressed written permission from the author. All characters and events appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real events or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

To Nate~

Because we never stop trying.

1

JAKE

“Yes, yes, yessssss!” Eve moaned above me as she came. “You are a freaking genius!” She collapsed on my chest, panting. “Happy house birthday…” she sighed as she quickly moved from exhilarated to sex-drunk, slurring her words.

I chuckled and wrapped my arms around her, looking out at the thunderstorm. The kids were on a play date with Natalie, my best friend’s teenaged daughter, and I’d brought home this ridiculously expensive chaise lounger for our upstairs screened-in porch to celebrate a full year of living in our new house.

Just as the daily afternoon thunderstorm rolled in.

Life is all about timing.

“I take it you like it,” I said as I dropped a couple of kisses on the top of her head.

She nodded. “Does life get any better? I think not.”

She had a very good point. I’d just had pretty amazing sex in the middle of a thunderstorm, on my porch, with the most beautiful woman in the world. Not to mention our two daughters were happy, healthy, and entertained while we indulged in a little marital bliss. Life did not get any better.

We really should have known better than to say that out loud. My phone started ringing from the bedroom. I ignored it.

Eve burrowed in closer and started to drift off. My phone rang again, which was weird, but I ignored it again. Natalie, June, and Marie all had a special ringtone. If there were a problem with the kids, I’d know. Whoever was calling me, it was not about the kids.

“I love Sam and Max, I do. But this is nice…” she sighed again.

Peace and quiet was a luxury once you became a parent. But peace and quiet, alone with your spouse? Might as well sell it on the black market. It’s that valuable and rare.

“We need to take advantage of our babysitters more often. We get caught up and forget to schedule down time,” I agreed. That was probably my fault. It was the end of baseball season. Eve barely had enough time to eat, sleep, and spend time with the kids. I needed to pick up the slack and plan the alone time—like I did today.

Obviously planning had its benefits.

Becoming a parent was as amazing as they said it would be, but it was also hard as hell. Especially for someone like me. Yeah, you feel that love. And sure, baby smiles are pretty much the definition of perfection. But the act of becoming a parent brings a lot of emotional baggage I wasn’t expecting with it. Life was good, but it wasn’t without bumps in the road, which made me even more grateful and appreciative of moments like this.

“Your phone’s ringing again, Jake. I think you better see who has a stick up their ass before I remove it for them.”

I chuckled as I rolled Eve to the side, offering her my t-shirt as I slipped away. “Here, babe. I’ll be right back.”

“Bring water!”

By the time I ducked inside, my phone was already ringing again. I was annoyed until I saw who it was.

“What?” I barked. Charlie, my private investigator only called like this when there was an emergency.

“We have a problem.”

My heart took off. “The kids?”

“No,” he quickly reassured me. “Your family is safe. We have more obtuse problems to deal with. Something I didn’t see coming.” His voice was laced with disappointment. Charlie was the best and he took his job very seriously. Missing a piece of the puzzle was the kind of thing Charlie took personally.

“What is it?”

He took a breath and let it out. “I’ve been contacted by a representative of Senator McKinley. You know the guy?”

I knew of him. “What did he want?”

“That’s the thing,” Charlie said. “He says the senator is your grandfather and the family wishes to make contact. They have a representative landing at Tampa International now.”

I knew I’d heard every word he said, and yet not one of them made a lick of sense. “I’m sorry…what did you just say?”

“You said your mother’s family disowned her when she married your father, right?”

“Yeah.” I sank down onto the bed. It really wasn’t safe for me to stand any longer.

“Well, her family is the McKinley’s. The McKinley’s. The political dynasty. She disowned them and have had zero contact until they reached out to me.”

I always knew my mother had taken a twisted joy in punishing her parents by marrying my father. I’d assumed it was your typical overbearing parents not wanting their daughter to marry the abusive alcoholic. A few times I’d imagined she was from a rich family. And yeah, on one of those occasions I’d let myself pretend I was descended from royalty, but I’d never imagined I was right. The McKinley’s were American royalty. And apparently…my family?

“Is this a joke?”

Charlie laughed. “Nope. I’ve got the documents they sent me and they line up with the holes I’ve never been able to fill in your family history. I’m assuming this representative they’re sending will have more information. Do you want me to be there?”

I nodded, then realized Charlie couldn’t see me. “Yeah. If you can.”

“I’ll be there. You might want to have someone watch the kids.”

“I’ll take care of it. When will they be here?”

“Four o’clock. I’ll see you then.”

He clicked off and I let the phone dangle from my fingers.

“What’s wrong?” Eve asked, standing naked in our doorway.

Everything. Nothing. Damn I was confused. My afternoon plans consisted of fucking my wife senseless and maybe some takeout—not life-altering news about the family I’d disowned and never wanted to hear from.

“It’s just family shit,” I murmured. “Charlie is bringing someone over to talk to me. Can you call Natalie and ask her to keep the kids?” The sooner I found out what the hell this all really was, the sooner I could get it out of my life.

In a blink she was kneeling in front of me. “Tell Charlie to handle it. We don’t have to do this.” She squeezed my hand.

“Not this time, babe,” I whispered. “We can’t ignore this one.” Typically Charlie took care of everything from paperwork to finances, making sure my mother was taken care of and that I never had to speak to her. Unfortunately I didn’t think he could manage something this complicated alone.

There was only one reason Senator McKinley—if he was my grandfather—would be making contact now. He had to be running for president. If I ignored this we’d wind up with a sea of reporters on our lawn. It would disrupt our lives so much more than a single meeting with a representative. “It’s one meeting to clear up some confusion. By dinner we’ll be free and clear and back to normal. Promise.”

That was the thing about love…it was never about happily ever after’s. It was about the fight. True love was in the battle. Standing side by side with your partner, defending each other and celebrating life’s victories. Love was messy and it was beautiful. It gave me a courage and a strength I never could have achieved on my own.

Eve ran her hand down the side of my face, across my shoulder, and over my bicep. Then she squeezed my arm and rested her head on my knee. The anxiety I was feeling evaporated. It was like that one movement erased it from existence.

I returned the gesture and brushed back her hair. “I love you, Eve Spencer. That’s the only thing that matters in this fucked up world. Loving you and Sam and Max. You don’t have to worry about what this meeting is going to do to my head. I’ve got too much at stake to let the past pull me back.”

Her worry lines disappeared, then she smiled. The sweet, slow, seductive kind. “Damn, you’re sexy when you pull the defensive father card,” she growled.

She’d said that on more than one occasion since the girls entered our lives. Something about men in love with their daughters being the “hottest thing ever.” I was absolutely fine with that.

“I have my problems, we know that. But I will never allow anything to hurt my girls. All three of you. You’re my world.”

“And you’re ours.” She sat up and ran her hands up my thighs. “How long until this meeting?” Her right eyebrow arched up.

I glanced at the clock on my phone. “An hour.” I really liked where this seemed to be heading.

“Then how about I give Natalie a call while you start the shower. I think we need one more round of stress relieving exercise before we face the firing squad.”

“I love the way you think Mrs. Spencer.”

“I love the way you love me, Mr. Spencer.”

As she sashayed around the bedroom, stark naked and mine, I was struck by one very overwhelming thing: I was the luckiest man who ever lived. Despite all the hell I’d survived to get where I was, I’d do it all over again. Going head first into the storm allowed me to come out on the other side stronger than ever. Loving my girls with all my heart and soul was the only way to love them, and I couldn’t do that if I hadn’t dealt with my past. I’d weather a hundred storms for the chance to live this life.

And nothing from my past would take it away from me.

* * *

“I don’t understand,” I said for the third time in a row. In my hands was paperwork. Birth certificates, pictures of my mother and Senator McKinley, sheets of legal jargon and restraining orders.

Adam Callaway—who was apparently my cousin—sat across from me at our dining room table. I couldn’t deny we looked a little bit alike. We were both six-four, broad shouldered, and dark haired. There was something familiar about his face. Maybe it was the shape of his jaw or nose? I wasn’t sure. It was all way too much to process.

Charlie rearranged the papers. “This is Senator McKinley and his family.” He tapped a very old photograph of a much younger senator. He stood in the middle with his arm around the waist of his wife, Rose. In front of them were two girls and two boys. “Lydia Rose is your grandmother—”

“She has the same name as my mother?” I cut him off.

“And mine,” Adam replied softly.

“What kind of crazy is this?” My head hurt. It really, really hurt.

“It was an old northern family money tradition, so to speak. All the girls are named Lydia. Our grandmother is Lydia Rose, my mother is Lydia Marie, and yours is Lydia Diane. It goes back three generations, but ends with us.”

“No sisters, I take it?”

Adam shook his head. “Only child—just like you.”

“And the boys?”

Charlie tapped through them one by one. “Richard, Evan, and Luke. All three have three boys each. It’s been a very masculine generation in the family, I’m afraid.”

Or a relief. Who names all their daughters Lydia? And why did my Lydia run away from a political dynasty?

“We’re really not all that different,” Adam said quietly as he spun the photograph. “Both our mother’s rebelled against the Senator.”

That was another weird thing. Adam called his—our—grandfather “The Senator.” Not grandfather or gramps or pappy or something cute. According to my cousin, everyone knew him as The Senator. It sounded cold.

“I highly doubt our lives look anything alike,” I essentially growled.

Eve put a hand on my arm. “What do you mean, Adam?”

I had to give him credit, he looked genuinely ashamed he’d compared our childhoods in any way.

There was no comparison.

He shifted and cleared his throat. “They both rebelled hard as teenagers and left home as soon as they could. They also both married men against the Senator’s wishes.”

“Then why am I treated like the bastard grandchild no one has ever acknowledged while you bask in the glow of being the golden child?”

Adam winced again. “I am hardly the golden child. The Senator and I have a…complicated relationship. He’s not a fan of my choice of work.”

“An expatriate engineer living in the UK? You don’t say…”

His fiancée, Elizabeth smiled. “He makes his own trouble with the family, but I’m afraid it’s my fault his relationship is so complicated.”

“Complicated relationships seem to be going around,” I murmured as I tried to figure out why she looked so familiar, and yet not. She was beautiful. There was no denying that. Dark hair and eyes, fit and full of life. Maybe she was also in politics? No, that didn’t make sense if she was living in England with Adam.

Adam shifted the papers around putting the restraining orders front and center. “This is the difference. My mother eventually repaired her relationship and came to an agreement with the family about what boundaries she was willing to accept. We did holidays with the family in Maine but the Senator did not dictate anything about our lives. Your mother,” he pushed the papers toward me, “cut ties entirely. She legally changed her name to remove any traces of her connection to the McKinley family and legally made it impossible for them to contact her.”

That sounded just about right. My parents did everything to the extreme. They had no friends and usually avoided contact with anyone unless absolutely necessary. They were angry at the world and convinced everyone was against them—including me.

“We’ve gone thirty-eight years without contact, why change all that now?” It was all well and good, fairytales and puppy dog tails, but there had to be a reason they reached out now. They could have easily let me live the rest of my life blissfully unaware that a powerful family had ignored my existence.

Adam glanced at Elizabeth and she gave him a small smile, like she was giving him the strength he needed to keep going. Kind of like Eve was doing for me with her hand protectively wrapped around my thigh.

“He’s running for president. Everything is about to change.”

“And you think a reporter is going to dig up what Charlie hasn’t been able to?”

Luckily Charlie seemed to have gotten over his funk and simply wanted to be useful. He shrugged and sat back in his chair.

“No,” Adam said, folding his hands on the table. “This wasn’t entirely about the press. The Senator had left well enough alone but with the vetting process for his presidential run this loose end came up several times. He finally sat down and looked at everything for himself. Yes, he’s running for president, and yes, that might have affected you at some point, but that isn’t the reason he’s making contact.”

I watched as he fidgeted and twisted, looking for the right words. This whole situation was crap. Why had they sent a cousin to do the dirty work? Couldn’t this have been handled though lawyers or Charlie? Why put us all through this?

Adam took a deep breath then looked me in the eye. “Now that your father is dead, the Senator wants one last chance at fixing his mistake.”

2

EVE

A hand slid around my hip, splaying flat across my belly and pulling me back into the firm, comfortable familiarity of my husband. “You’ve been washing these dishes for an hour,” Jake growled into my ear.

I looked down at the suds-less water. I had a bowl in one hand and a wine glass in the other. The sponge was nowhere to be found. “I got a little lost in my head,” I shrugged, dropping the items back into the cold water and drying off my hands.

“I can tell,” he chuckled, turning me so that we were nose to nose. Well, sort of. Jake was several inches taller than me and I had to crane my neck to look up at his handsome, rugged face. I suppose nose-to-chest was probably a more accurate description. “What’s wrong?”

“You mean besides the two strangers sitting in our living room?”

Jake’s cousin, Adam, and his fiancée, Elizabeth, were back for the third day in a row. The news they’d brought with them hadn’t gotten any easier to digest, although they had gotten significantly better at playing with our kids.

“Hey,” he shrugged, giving me one of his trademark dimples, “don’t people find out their long lost grandfathers are incredibly rich and famous all the time?”

I shook my head and sighed. “No, Jake, they do not.”

He kissed my forehead. “We can’t all be born into baseball royalty. Some of us have to stumble into good fortune by accident…and after thirty-eight years.”

And that was the conflict that kept sending me into a tizzy. Jake was happy. Genuinely happy to find out he actually had some family that wasn’t horrible. And for that I was eternally grateful. But he was also jumping headfirst into the deep end without giving himself a chance to breathe. There was going to be a rebound to all this good news and, being the overtired mother of two that I was these days, I was preparing for the fallout instead of enjoying the news.

“Adam is very nice,” I agreed.

Jake’s smile only deepened. “I really like him.”

They’d been finishing each other’s technical sentences every time conversation drifted back to engineering. They’d cooked us dinner last night. And by “cooked us dinner” I meant the two of them disappeared onto the back deck with a six-pack and a tray of steak and hadn’t come back in until the food was ready. I’d watched them through the kitchen window. They were like instant best friends. The only other person Jake got along with so easily was Greg.

I mean… I knew they were cousins, so there was the genetic link, plus they obviously loved the same things about machines and engineering, but that easy, instantaneous insta-bond was a special occurrence. It happens once or twice in a lifetime, if you’re lucky. Usually with a best friend, which Jake already had, and a lover. So I wasn’t exactly expecting Jake to fall in love with someone else.

I froze.

Oh shit.

Oh shit… I was jealous. Of Adam? Of my husband finding his family and getting along with them?

I was a horrible, horrible, horrible wife.

“What is that look?” he asked, pulling back and giving me a very strange once-over. Which I totally deserved.

I sighed and raked my hand down my face, groaning. “I just realized something I didn’t like about myself very much.”

He fought back a chuckle, then pulled me in for a hug. “I love you, Eve. Even when you’re acting really weird.”

“That’s why we work,” I said into the wall of muscle my face was pressed against.

“They’re talking travel plans. You ready for this?”

I nodded and trailed behind him as he pulled me back into the sitting room. Adam was on the floor with Max, our two-year-old daughter. He kept building towers out of blocks and letting Max knock it to the ground. I had to admit, her squeals of delight each time the blocks crashed into a pile was worth the price of admission. I certainly couldn’t blame him for spending all his time on our floor.

There was definitely a family resemblance, but where Jake was rugged and rough around the edges from his less-than-ideal upbringing, Adam was polished perfection. Equally gorgeous, just different.

Max popped up off the ground, her chubby rump wiggling with delight as she clapped her hands. “Now?”

Adam laughed and scooted out of the way. “Now.”

Max pushed the blocks and the five-foot tower (clearly erected by an engineer) bit the dust. Her blonde locks bounced as she moved and her bright blue eyes lit up as she ran toward me. “Hi, Momma!”

I plucked her off the ground and popped her onto my hip with a practiced perfection that comes from five straight years of having miniature humans in your house.

“How do you know how to do that?” Elizabeth asked, her eyes wide, but in a terrified—not amazed—way. She was incredibly nice, but had zero experience when it came to children.

“It just happens,” I shrugged, sighing.

Yeah, I was tired. They tell you being a parent is exhausting, but there is no scale that can properly measure the amount of work and lack of sleep that comes with children.

“You make it look easy.” She cocked her head to the side, clearly studying the physics behind child tossing and propping.

“It’s not. Mostly you learn from almost accidentally killing your children a hundred times a day. Eventually you can fall down the stairs without dropping a bottle or breaking a leg. The military should train with children running around their feet. Seriously.”

I glared at our stairs remembering the night before when I’d missed the last stair at the landing, tripped over a teddy bear, and somehow managed to not wake the entire house.

Sam was asleep on the couch beside Jake. He moved her feet so that I could sit with Max.

“I can’t believe she’s sleeping through all this,” Adam laughed.

“She could sleep through a hurricane,” Jake shook his head. “In fact, she has. Hurricane Doris, last year at Eve’s parent’s house.”

“She’s also slept through almost every baseball game she’s ever attended. My dad is convinced she’s his payback.”

Papa Joe was seriously perplexed that his granddaughter was so oblivious to his precious game. It was kind of fun to watch him as he tried to find the key to her heart, but the girl wanted nothing to do with baseball. She was pink through and through.

“She’s only five,” Adam said. “There’s plenty of time for baseball.”

I gave Adam a deadpan stare. “And how old were you when you started go-kart racing?” Adam had been a champion go-kart driver, then racecar champion, before he quit and moved to the other side of the engine. All of it against his grandfather’s wishes.

“Fair point. Competitive sports start early. I forget that sometimes.”

“So,” I settled Max into the crook of my shoulder, “what’s the plan?”

Adam’s eyes darted to Jake. “You liked the second plan we discussed?”

Jake nodded and Adam turned his attention back to me. “The Senator will be home in Maine this weekend. He’d love for all of you to come up and meet the family. We’ll rally up as many of the cousins as we can, which will actually be most of them.” He reached up for Elizabeth’s hand. “He already planned a party for our engagement.”

This felt…huge. And overwhelming. And fast.

Jake, however, looked giddy. “We’ll fly up Friday afternoon. The Rays are on the road this weekend, so it’s the perfect weekend.”

“You’ll stay at the compound. The Senator has more than enough room for everyone,” Adam continued.

I noticed Elizabeth getting stiffer and stiffer as the guys talked. “Why do you look green?” I asked. She looked like I felt, which was a relief, but not at all healthy.

I’d had this gnawing feeling from the moment we met that I knew her from somewhere. Turns out Elizabeth is more famous than all of us combined, and then some—which probably drove the Senator crazy. A child star, Elizabeth was descended from an incredibly famous Hollywood family, and not unlike Jake, hadn’t had the easiest childhood. She left Hollywood, got a Ph.D. and changed her name, slipping into a secret quiet life in Calhoun Beach, South Carolina…until Adam walked into her life and changed everything.

She understood what we were going through from both sides and had been an incredible help in guiding Jake through his questions. I was grateful she was here with Adam. I wasn’t entirely sure how Jake would have handled the news without someone to relate to.

Elizabeth half-smiled and shrugged her shoulders. “Big family celebrations are new to me and I’m still getting used to it.”

Adam hopped up onto the couch and threw an arm over her shoulder, tucking her head against him. “Which is why there will be absolutely no press. The Senator has always been accommodating to the fact that Elizabeth has chosen to keep her life private ever since leaving her family. You can all rest assured that this weekend is just about family and nothing else. After that, the choice will be up to you. Like Elizabeth, you can keep things quiet, or if you wish to be part of his presidential bid, then there is a place for you in that.”

I knew being related to a presidential candidate sounded really important and cool, but to me it sounded terrible. The publicity, the invasion of privacy, the games…baseball was the only game I had any interest in playing.

“What do you say, babe?” Jake squeezed my leg. “It seems kind of perfect.” His green eyes were bright with excitement. It was such an odd look to see on his face when talking about family. There was absolutely no way I could ever say no that look.

“Let’s do this. Let’s meet your family, Jake.”

He squeezed my leg and grinned. “Thank you.”

A second later Sam let out a wail and started crying even though her eyes were screwed shut. Jake instantly scooped her up into his strong, capable arms and started rocking and whispering soothing things into her ear. She’d been waking up from all her naps like that lately, not that she took many anymore. My girl was growing up so fast that I didn’t know what to do.

As a mom I’d been battling that feeling from the moment I realized I was pregnant. The feeling that time was somehow slipping through my fingers. No matter how hard I tried to grab onto moments, time kept marching forward. My girls kept getting bigger. Jake’s laugh lines had suddenly grown deeper and so had mine.

I fought against this hatred I felt sometimes. Those ten years we lost, could they have been like this? I knew deep down inside that they wouldn’t have been. Jake was miserable when he left. He needed that time to heal. But it never stopped me from wishing we had more time together.

I realized that was what was wrong with me. Why I was so weird about Adam and the Senator. I was always on guard. Always ready to protect my life from anything that might possibly take this away from me. I had Jake and the life I’d always wanted. When something new or unexpected popped up, especially something this monumental, I had to worry.

Sam calmed down, brushing her tears away from her cheeks, her bright green eyes identical to her dad’s as she smiled over at me. My heart melted. The man I loved was holding our daughter like she was the most precious thing in the world, while our other daughter nuzzled into his side. It was the most beautiful thing. And the sexiest, if I was being totally honest.

Jake noticed the look in my eyes. “Hey, darlin’.” He grinned, his dimple popping.

If we hadn’t had guests watching us from the other couch I would have replied much more graphically than I did. Instead I just gave him the look and the smile he knew all too well meant that I was thinking very dirty thoughts about him.

His eyes flashed.

The girls snuggled in closer.

I would do just about anything to freeze this moment and keep it forever. I just had to have faith that Jake and I could fight our way through anything. So far we were doing pretty good.

* * *

When I want the world to disappear for a few minutes I take a large glass of wine and draw a bath. Our new bathroom was significantly upgraded from our previous house and the bathtub was large, raised, and perfect for disappearing inside. By the time the water was high enough to lay back and float I’d downed half my wine, so I set it carefully in the corner, scooted my booty down, and dunked myself under the hot water.

My body floated, relaxing muscles I didn’t know were tensed. Light disappeared. Noises sounded a lot more like they were coming from the other end of a long tunnel than the next room. My hair danced in the swirling water, tickling my skin, but I ignored it. I ignored everything. My head was in chaos and the only way to bring any order was to start grasping at one thought at a time.

Jake had a cousin. A wonderful cousin. For the first time in his life Jake had a blood relative who could be a positive light in his life.

This was a very good thing.

I took a deep breath, drawing as much air into my lungs as I could stand, and dropped back beneath the surface. I held my breath for thirty seconds before letting out the first bubble. Then two. Then a slow, steady stream of air.

Yes, I was scared. I just needed to fully admit it and embrace it. When it came to family, Jake’s emotions were fragile. He was a big, strong, hero of a man but everyone had a weakness. Family was Jake’s.

So all of this was terrifying. There was potential there. Both good and bad. Not knowing which side things were going to land on was too much uncertainty. When it came to the people I loved I wanted to know how to protect them.

And now I was flying blind.

Blind, blind, blind.

I sat up and wiped the water from my eyes. Sitting on the edge of the tub with his own glass of wine and a book, was Jake.

“I was starting to wonder if I should come in after you,” he said without looking up.

“How long have you been sitting there?”

He shifted his gaze from the page to me. “Long enough. The girls are asleep, by the way.”

“Good.” I turned and found my glass, taking a long, slow sip. “Why are you reading in here?”

The corner of his lip quirked up. “Because I wanted to be near you,” he paused, “and because I wanted to see how you were doing.”

I swirled the wine. “Fine.”

“Which is wife-code for not fine.”

He was funny and correct, unfortunately. Why did I do that? Why did I say I was fine when I wasn’t—and when Jake could obviously see that I wasn’t. Did I seriously think I was protecting him from my feelings, or was it something else? Sometimes my brain even confused me.

“I’m nervous. Like, really nervous.”

He set the book down and leaned closer. “Thesis defense nervous, wedding nervous, or childbirth nervous?”

Jake wanted to know where I was at on his barometer of experiences. I was a straight-up nervous wreck when I defended my thesis, the wedding just had me all twisted up because so much was happening so fast, but childbirth was anxiety about something inevitable and I had very little control over. And despite the fact it was something I wanted and knew would turn into something lovely, it had terrified me.

As it does any sane woman.

“Childbirth nervous,” I whispered, looking at my wine instead of Jake.

“Well, shit,” he mumbled and stood up, pulling off his shirt and tossing it aside.

“What are you doing?” He looked like he was getting naked. As in, coming into the bath with me.

“I’m coming in.”

I felt my eyes bug out of my head. “There’s no room for you.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. We got a tub this big for a reason.” And then he was stark naked and stepping in. He sat facing me and picked up a foot. “Talk.”

I would have, but my brain short-circuited the minute his thumb found that spot on my arch. “Oh…” I groaned, and let my head rest back against the ledge. I would talk, eventually, whenever my brain started working again.

Which it didn’t for at least five minutes. Jake turned the faucet back on and refreshed the hot water, all while massaging my feet into some sort of pre-orgasmic bliss. Seriously, how did he make feet an arousing thing? I didn’t understand it, but it happened frequently. He just did this thing where he found a spot on my arch, and that spot seemed to have a direct line to my core.

I was a panting, writhing, blissed out mess when he spoke again.

“Tell me what’s going on, darlin’.”

I was putty in his hands. Whatever barriers I’d had when I stepped into the tub, they were gone now. Maybe that was Jake’s secret: he had truth serum implanted in his touch.

“Why aren’t you nervous?”

His hands paused on my feet so I peeked out. He was staring off into the distance, his stubbled jaw set at an awkward angle as he thought. “I am…” he started slowly, picking each word carefully, “but I’m not worried.”

“Why?” I said that a little bit louder. Why wasn’t he more nervous, and why the hell wasn’t he worried?

“Because,” he shrugged, “this is insane. I mean…this is absolutely insane!” He started laughing. “All these years and I never, ever thought I’d hear another word from my family. And then bam out of nowhere I have an enormous family that is not only famous and powerful, but rich and running for president? What the actual fuck?”

Okay, he had a point. A very, very good point. I started laughing, too. “It doesn’t feel real.” I took a few breaths and got my giggles under control. “But I think that is a huge part of what is making me so nervous. If some regular guy from across town, who owned a barbershop or something, showed up saying he thought he might be your grandfather, then okay. That would be inside the realm of possibilities, but this is just…”

“Insane,” Jake finished for me. “I seriously don’t think there is another word.”

I shrugged. “Regardless, we’re in uncharted territory. There is no way to gauge what we’re actually walking into.”

“You’ve watched too many Lifetime Family Movies on the Kennedy’s.” He gave me a look that was somewhere between teasing and serious.

“I have, but I also come from an unusual family and I work with a lot of unusually famous families. Power and money do strange things to some people.”

He tugged on my toes and gave me one of his trademark grins. “You seem pretty normal. Have a hidden past you want to tell me about?”

“Well…” I drawled. If we were teasing and naked, I could certainly have a little fun, couldn’t I? “There is a thing.”

“A thing?” he cocked an eyebrow. “How is it possible I don’t know about this thing?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I probably didn’t want you to get jealous.”

His gaze sharpened and I detected a healthy dose of testosterone blooming in the air around us. “Go on.”

“You see, there was this guy in college. We did things…”

His jealousy instantly turned to lust as he realized I was talking about us. “What kinds of things?”

“We had sex in a lot of places…”

He dropped my foot and shifted so that he was on his knees and we were nose to nose. Water sloshed everywhere as he moved but neither of us paid it any attention. “What kinds of places did you let this man have his way with you?”

I reached up and stroked his stubble. “Oh, you misunderstand me. I didn’t let him have his way with me…he let me have my way with him.” I reached up and took his firm erection in my hand, pumping up his length several times.

He sucked in a sharp breath and let it out slowly. “Is that so?”

“It is.” I licked up his throat, suckling and biting. “Want me to show you?”

He groaned and thrust into my grip. “Actually,” he hissed as he reached between my legs and applied gentle pressure, “I was wondering if you’d let me have my way with you? As a thank you for everything you’re about to do for me? I feel a reward should be involved.”

His thumb pressed against my clit and all I could think about were his magic hands erasing every last doubt I had in my head. “Okay.”

“Besides, watching you come usually has an incredibly centering effect on me, so really? You’re doing us both a favor.”

I nodded and moaned as he transformed my foot rub arousal into a full-blown need for orgasm with a few quick strokes of his fingers. He held himself above me watching everything unfold. And I’m sure he probably enjoyed watching his fingers disappear inside me, too.

I was under the water up to my chest so that my nipples floated just above the water. Jake took his time appreciating the way they bobbed before he finally dipped his head down and took one into his mouth, sending a lightning bolt of pleasure straight to my core, contracting around his finger.

“Jake,” I moaned.

He swirled his tongue and sucked harder, all while drawing a pattern with his finger inside me. “This trip,” he rumbled, “it’s not a homecoming. It’s…establishing a foundation. I honestly don’t think they’re bad people and I have zero expectations. That’s why I’m not worried.”

That made a little bit of sense. It’s a heck of a lot harder for people to hurt you if you don’t need or want anything from them.

He moved to my other nipple, playing with it before he sucked it into his mouth. A twin lightning bolt zinged through me and I pulsed around his finger again. He withdrew it and teased my entrance with two fingers before slowly beginning the slide inside, stretching me until I was filled.

I was so very wet that despite the friction caused by the bathwater, he slid in with hardly any resistance. I wanted to buck against his hand, but that would cause a tidal wave and ruin the mood—plus I really liked this commanding game Jake was playing with my body. There was something deliciously fun and relaxing about being pleasured in a way that let you sink inside it and enjoy every sensation.

He released my nipple and kissed me, sliding his tongue inside my mouth, mimicking the movements of his fingers.

He stroked and kissed until I was wound up tight. My core contracted and my muscles all went rigid. I was so close, but not quite there. I just needed a little tip and I’d be over the edge.

So Jake pulled back from the kiss and swallowed. “I’m only nervous because I don’t want anything to change. The life I’ve built with you is perfect, even when it’s chaos.” He kissed me lightly on the lips. “Anytime I think something might remotely change what we have, I get my guard up.”

I nodded. “I think I understand now.”

“Good.” His eyes lit up. “Now come for me, Eve.”

He pressed down on my clit with his thumb while his fingers worked me inside, and to top it all off, he sucked my nipple back into his mouth.

I came almost instantly with that much fantastic pleasure hitting me all at once. The dam holding back my orgasm collapsed and a wave of ecstasy flooded my body, starting deep inside my core where his fingers plunged deep, and shooting out through my veins until every muscle in my body relaxed and all I could see or feel was Jake.

“Damn,” he whispered, still gently stroking.

“Damn indeed. You give good orgasms.”

He chuckled and kissed me gently as he withdrew his fingers. “Please don’t worry, Eve. It’s just a quick trip to say hello and then home. To this. To us. Forever and always.”

He was so damn sweet. Sweet and naïve. I was going to keep on worrying and there was nothing he could say or do to change my mind about it, but I could pretend. If it made him feel better then I was going to be the very best damn actress I could.

“Your turn,” I said, pushing on his chest, hoping he didn’t see it as the distraction it really was.

“Yeah?” He cocked an eyebrow.

I rolled my eyes and pushed harder. “Of course. We both deserve a good release. Up on the ledge.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He stopped just long enough to readjust the water, then seated himself in the corner, erect cock on full display.

I moved to my knees, conscious of the fact the tub was hard as hell. Hopefully he was so turned on by watching me come this wouldn’t take long, but if it did we were going to have to move the festivities to the bedroom. Giving head in a bathtub is fun and sexy, but I wasn’t going to kill my knees for a fantasy. Not when we had a perfectly lovely bedroom just a few feet away.

“Mirror.” I pointed over my shoulder at the enormous mirror that hung above our sinks. You couldn’t really see anything in the tub, but up on the ledge? Oh yeah, you could see everything, and I knew the image of my head bobbing up and down in his lap would put him over the edge in no time flat.

He whimpered as he caught the site of us together in the mirror. “Holy hell, woman. How did you discover this little trick and not tell me about it?”

I wrapped my hand around his cock. “For one, I discovered it while sitting right there…touching myself.”

He took a shaky breath. “Oh, for fucks sake…I’m going to come on your hand.”

I highly doubted that. “And for two, I’ve been waiting for the perfect moment to enjoy it with you. Surprise.”

And then I took him into my mouth and sucked him into an oblivion I hoped would keep him relaxed until all of this was over.

* * *

Jake pulled Sam as she sat astride her pink-wheeled animal luggage. With Max burrowed into his chest and his blue backpack strapped to his back, Jake had cool-dad-on-the-move on lockdown. It didn’t hurt that his standard traveling outfit was a sexy pair of worn-in blue jeans and a dark grey long sleeved tee that accentuated his broad shoulders. It also didn’t hurt that he was wearing a Rays baseball hat backwards on his head.

Why did that make him look so damn sexy? That look had always had the same effect on me. Ever since we were in college. Hats in general gave him an air of male strength that I was undeniably attracted to, but dark blue ones? Yes. They set off his tanned skin, stubble, and green eyes in just the right way.

So, despite the fact that we were pushing our way through the airport on our way to a high-stress family gathering, I was all kinds of distracted by my husband.

“You okay back there?” he called over his shoulder.

I adjusted the black luggage handle and hiked my own backpack a little higher. “Yep! You just keep a handle on those trouble makers.”

He barked out a laugh. “I’ll do my best, but one has a wild animal at her beck and call.”

Sam giggled, throwing back her head, her long curls dancing over the back of the hot pink mystery animal. Whoever invented riding children’s luggage was my hero. We’d managed to get away on several family vacations with relative ease, all things considered.

I traveled so much for work that my standard airport clothes were a little different than Jake’s. I also preferred the durability of jeans, but mine were new, dark, and fitted. I wore a crisp white Columbia button-up with the long sleeves rolled to my elbows. It gave the appearance of business casual, but in a quick-drying lightweight, athletic package.

In this outfit I felt comfortable enough to slip immediately into a meeting, or in this case, meeting a hugely powerful family. My nerves ticked up a notch again. It was weird. I worked with famous ball players every day. I was in charge of their interactions with the fans and the way their image was used. My father, Papa Joe Daniels, was a Hall of Fame baseball player and beloved MLB coach. I knew fame and the power of celebrity, but the McKinley family wielded an entirely different level of fame and power.

And the potential effect it might have on my family? Yeah…nerves for days.

“Do you think anyone will notice if we have two little girls inside the bar?” Jake shot me a dimpled grin as he quickly commandeered an empty high-top on the edge of the bar. It was open to the terminal, hardly a dark, closed-off area exclusively for adults. Besides, I was going to need a drink before sitting on a plane in full mom-mode for the next three hours.

“I don’t think I care if anyone cares.”

He replied with a sexy wink, then leaned back against the wall with Max mostly asleep on his chest. Sam scrambled up onto the opposite chair and immediately started scribbling on the coloring book she’d yanked out of her bag.

I ordered our drinks, checked my messages, and then attempted to relax like the rest of my family. Sam was humming as she colored, totally lost in her own little world. Max was out, drool dribbling down her cheek, and Jake had closed his eyes.

The waitress smiled as she quietly set our drink order down. She had a look on her face that I’d come to know well in the last few years: admiration mixed with longing. My little family was perfect. I had it all. I knew I had it all. When you decided that being married and having a family was where you wanted your life to go, this is what you pictured. I had an unbelievably devoted, involved, sexy husband, and two adorable children. I’d even managed to somehow balance my complicated job at the same time.

We worked hard to have what we had. Marriage wasn’t easy. It was a choice. You could either choose to be in each other’s corner, or you could choose to use each other, blame your significant other for all the things that went wrong. We never went that route and it showed.

I studied Jake as he rested. He always looked so much younger when he slept. Not quite as young as when we first met (I didn’t think we’d ever look that young again) or maybe young wasn’t the right word. Maybe he just looked free. Free of doubts, stress, and obligations.

I soaked up every inch of the picture in front of me—just in case we lost it in Maine.

“You’re staring,” Jake murmured, eyes still closed. He didn’t move a single muscle.

“How can you tell?”

The corner of his lip quirked up. “Darlin’.”

I laughed quietly. “Yes?”

“You don’t think I know what it feels like when you’re watching me?”

“You can’t see me. You can’t possibly know what I’m looking at.”

Now the other half of his lips turned up into a full smile. “You have no idea. I knew the moment you walked into that junky backyard kegger a million years ago, just like I know when you’re watching me from across a crowded room.” He opened one eye, meeting my gaze. “Just like I know you’re looking at me right now.”

I swallowed down the overwhelming tide of desire that surged through me. The low rumble of his voice, the connection, the undeniable truth of his words…this was us. This was what we did to each other.

I didn’t want to lose it.

“I’m just enjoying the life we’ve built.”

He opened his other eye and sank deep inside me with his gaze. “Nothing’s going to change.”

“Everything changes, Jake. That’s life. I just want to hold onto this moment a little longer.”

Determination flickered in his eyes. “I won’t let this change us.”

Change was on the horizon. I could feel it. “That’s why I love you, Jake Spencer. You are the strongest, most determined man I know. You deserve to know who your family is.”

“This is my family.” He stretched his hand across the table, searching for my fingers. The moment we connected a jolt shot through me, tingling straight down to my toes. “This is all that will ever matter.”

3

JAKE

Jake’s Journal

A month after Sam was born.

I was the kid who dreamed of having a family one day. I would say I was an old soul, but we all know that’s not it. I just wanted to be fucking loved. And to have the chance to love others. I didn’t feel quite human, living on the edge, useless.

So I’m here now, and it’s so much more than I thought it would be. Mostly amazing, a little bit terrifying. I have a kid whose life is in my hands…my choices affect everything about her life and her future. The weight of that responsibility is almost overwhelming. Almost. It’s also the most exciting and fulfilling thing I’ve ever done.

Being Sam’s dad…?

Fuck. This shit’s getting to me. I can’t write anymore. Just know that I love it. I love everything about being a father. I love that little squirmy bundle with everything I have.

I love her enough for the both of us.

And I love you enough for the two of us.

I wish my kiss could fix everything, and sometimes I feel like I’m making things worse, not better. I’ve seen that look in your eyes when I’m talking to Sam—that mix of jealousy and misery. We will get through this. You will be happy again. I will hold the world together until you’re ready.

Somewhere between Atlanta and New York Eve fell asleep against the window with Max in her lap. Luckily for me, Sam was completely entertained by her Disney movie and an unending supply of Goldfish crackers. It gave me a chance to center myself.

And as I usually do, I centered myself by pulling out my journal. Maybe it was my subconscious, or maybe there was more going on in my head than I cared to acknowledge, but instead of writing I flipped back to one of the first pages in this book. It was a time a lot like this. One that was an unfortunate mix of joy and pain.

The end of her first pregnancy was a struggle for Eve. She didn’t act like a control freak, but having to start maternity leave two weeks earlier than planned, go on bed rest, and right into labor was too much for her. She was out of control. And when her hormones went crazy and she sank into postpartum depression, she was more lost than I’d ever seen before—or since.

That was what was so unsettling during those days. She always had purpose. Even when she had no idea what was going to happen next, Eve steamrolled forward. All of that was gone in the weeks and months after Sam was born. I was the one who needed to be sure. I took up the role without even thinking, but any chance I had to stop and think, it would sink in, and for a few brief moments it would hit me: I was terrified.

What if Eve was never the same again? Could becoming a mother change her forever? Or was it just a phase? Would I learn to love this new woman who wasn’t quite sure who she was or if she even liked being a mother? I wanted a full house—but what if she couldn’t do it?

I thought it would be easy. Our baby would be born, we’d bring her home, dote on her, things would be exhausting but wonderful, and then we’d watch her grow up. Maybe have a dozen more.

Instead it was hard. Incredibly hard. Physically and emotionally.

Life moved forward. Eve eventually found her way through the fog. She got her feet back under her. She fell in love with Sam and we fell back in love with each other. I think I’ve fallen in love with Eve at least a dozen different times since I met her. Life keeps changing us, but nothing had ever defeated us.

“Daddy?” Sam set her tiny hand on top of mine.

“Yes?”

“Can I have water?” She was only half looking at me. Her eyes were mostly glued to the movie.

I found her water bottle and handed it over, then flipped to the first blank page near the back of my journal. I needed to get some of this frustration out of me. I’d thought looking back would help me find the words. Instead I stared at the blank page.

“You should color, Daddy.” Sam wasn’t watching her movie anymore.

“Color?”

“Your story. You write your stories in there, don’t you Daddy?”

So young, so innocent. So perfectly, beautifully unaware of the world outside. My chest hurt. “I do. How do you know that?”

She grinned, her eyes flashing and her dimple creasing her right cheek. It looked exactly like mine. “Because you think really hard when you work on them. I would think really hard if I wrote stories, too. You should think harder.”

Maybe she was right. Maybe I wasn’t thinking hard enough. “Thanks for the advice. How’s your movie?”

She sucked in a gasp and turned back, apparently she hadn’t meant to stop watching. So I ran my hand over her hair a few times, taking comfort in the fact that I was a dad and I got the chance to do all the things my parents didn’t.

And suddenly I knew exactly what I needed to write.

4

EVE

MAINE

The white clapboard mansion was exactly what I expected when I pictured the McKinley family compound in Camden, Maine. It was massive, right on a bluff overlooking the water, and picturesque with the rolling hills behind. It had been in the family for decades and served as the home base for the entire political dynasty.

“The Senator is waiting,” Adam said as he led us up an impressive flight of stairs to the second floor of the main house. Yellow light filtered in from high windows, casting everything in a glow. “You’ll be staying here.” He pushed open a door and stood to the side so we could walk in with the girls.

“That’s a big bed!” Sam squealed as she launched herself onto the giant fluffy four-poster that somehow managed to look almost normal in size thanks to the high ceilings and large room.

The floors were dark hardwoods that matched the doors and casings around the windows. This room had whitewashed walls, a plush navy rug under the bed, and large dark furniture. A small pink sofa was positioned under the massive window. I pushed the luggage over by it and peered outside.

We had a view of the yard which was…well I think impressive is probably the only adequate word. The green lawn stretched on in all its perfection for what seemed like forever, until it hit the trees at the base of the hill that blocked out the rest of the world.

“You have this room and the room next door.” Adam pushed open a door that adjoined the two rooms. “The closest bathroom is at the end of the hall, but don’t worry. You’re only sharing with Elizabeth and me. We’re on your other side.” He thumbed over his shoulder to the wall opposite the door he was holding.

“This is pretty incredible,” I murmured. I felt like I’d just walked into a historical documentary on the Kennedy’s, which I guess in a way we had. The McKinley family was older and even more powerful in Washington.

“Would you like some time to settle in or would you prefer to get the big introduction out of the way?” Adam asked.

I felt Jake’s gaze immediately shift to me. “Babe?”

I cocked my eyebrow. “You’re seriously deferring to me? This is your show.” That’s when I realized Jake was nervous. Of course he was nervous. He also needed to get this over with. So I made the decision. “Can Elizabeth sit with the girls? I’d like to go with Jake.”

“Absolutely,” Adam replied, “let me go grab her.”

Jake immediately relaxed. “Thanks.”

“All right girls,” I called, “Mommy and Daddy are going to go to a meeting and Miss Elizabeth is going to take care of you.” They barely paid attention to a word I said. They were too busy exploring the rooms and looking for new and unique ways to cause trouble.

It only took a minute to show Elizabeth where their things were, pull out some toys and snacks, and disappear. I guess I should be grateful my daughters were easy going enough to adjust to new situations so quickly, but every once in a while I wished they’d need me just a little more. Would a sniffle kill them?

I threaded my fingers through Jake’s and gave him a reassuring squeeze. “Let’s do this.”

Adam led us back downstairs and to a drawing room at the back of the house. The pocket doors were slid open and inside the sprawling room I glimpsed more dark woods, navy rugs, and red throw pillows. Sunlight poured in through a bank of windows that overlooked the yard.

And standing in front of the couch was a tall, broad, greying man I immediately recognized from the television. Senator McKinley. Jake’s grandfather.

This was it.

Jake tightened his hand around mine and I wished there was a way I could give him all my strength. After a lifetime of abuse at the hands of the only two members of his family he’d ever known, this was the first time Jake was facing the possibility he had a grandfather.

I’d never been more nervous in my entire life, which meant Jake had to ten times worse. It amazed me that he didn’t show it.

“Senator?” Adam cleared his throat.

The man immediately turned, his eyes locking onto Jake and softening with relief. Good. That was a good start.

He crossed the room in two broad strides and stopped, obviously unsure if his hug would be welcome. Instead he held out his arms, “Welcome. It is so nice to finally meet you both.”

And now we’d moved from good to incredibly uncomfortable. I realized the only person in this room who was equipped to know how to guide this meeting was me, so I stepped forward and hugged the Senator. “It’s good to meet you.”

He was stiff at first and he smelled different than my own grandfather. The Senator liked to wear cologne and expensive clothing. I also detected a hint of scotch. He relaxed as I stepped back, giving me a quick nod of thanks, then reached out for Jake.

It was, quite possibly, the most awkward hug I’d ever witnessed, but I think it was good for both of them. It broke the ice.

The Senator didn’t let Jake go. Instead he held him at arms length, giving him an intense once over. “You look so much like Diane.”

Jake visibly flinched at the mention of his mother and the moment of potential was gone in a flash.

He pushed back and grabbed my hand. “Thank you for having us.”

Regret washed over the Senator’s face. It was clear he understood exactly what had just happened. “You will always be welcome here. All of you. I know this is overwhelming and some things you hear this week may not make sense to you yet, but you’ve always been welcome here. I made sure your mother knew that the only person not welcome was your father.”

The awkwardness just kept getting worse and it was making me woozy. “Perhaps we should sit if we’re going to jump straight into the heavy stuff,” I suggested.

Adam went straight to the bar and started pouring generous glasses of scotch while we attempted to make ourselves comfortable, not that it was possible. Between the tension rippling through the air and what had to be the world’s stiffest couch, there wasn’t a single soft or pleasant thing about this meeting.

But at least there was scotch.

“Why don’t we start by clearing the air?” Jake said, spreading his knees a few inches so he could lean forward and rest on his forearms, hands clasped in the space between. It was supposed to be an inviting position—he was clearly engaged in the conversation—but it was also defensive. He was both open and closed off at the same time, ready to throw a punch or two if necessary.

“By all means,” the Senator replied with a wave of his hand.

“I don’t resent you,” Jake said. “I don’t know anything about you. You have never existed in my life before Adam showed up on my doorstep.”

The Senator’s eyes pinched at the corners. “Yes, I heard. And I want, first and foremost, to apologize for not reaching out sooner. I was under the obviously mistaken impression that you knew who I was and had chosen to avoid me.”

“Quite the opposite,” Jake said, taking the scotch from Adam, who paused to hand me an identical glass, then returned to the bar to mix a drink for himself.

Jake and I shot the first half of our glasses while Adam was still moving. Part of me wanted to slink out of the room, run back to Tampa, and never come back. We were happy in our ignorance and I couldn’t shake the feeling the things we were going to learn this weekend were going to change things forever. And not in a good way.

This meeting was not helping with the bad vibes I was feeling, but what else could I do? We were here. We were all-in in now.

Jake stared at the carpet. “Senator, you make it sound like you’ve spoken to Lydia over the years.”

I noticed that he chose to call her Lydia while the Senator referred to her as Diane, her childhood name. There was so much meaning in a name—the person you were born to be and the person you chose to become. Diane was the daughter of a senator. Raised with rules, under lock and key. She had expectations and a future all laid out for her. But Lydia took a different path.

The Senator shifted. “No, I haven’t. She’s refused to speak to me for forty years, but the lines of communication have always remained open.”

“You knew I existed then?” Jake murmured, studying his scotch glass.

I knew that move all too well. Jake never made eye contact when he was overwhelmed by his emotions.

“Yes.”

Jake’s jaw ticked. I resisted the urge to reach out and relax the muscle.

“And…knowing who my father was and what your daughter had chosen…” he worked hard to keep his anger in check, to work out the correct words, “you honestly believed that I chose that life?”

The silence that filled the room was so oppressive, so massive, it felt like a heavy blanket had been draped over all of us. The cause and effect of the Senator’s strained relationship with his daughter was enormous. It had ruined Jake’s life. It had ruined our relationship. We lost ten years because of the demons that haunted the man I loved.

“I will never be able to express how deeply I regret my mistakes, Jake. I know,” he drew in a heavy breath, “that I won’t ever be able to make this right, but I’ll start with an apology.” He paused, waiting for Jake to look up, but he didn’t move. He kept his eyes carefully trained on the glass.

The Senator shifted his gaze to me instead. “I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry for not reaching out sooner. I’m sorry I didn’t step in when you were a child. I’m sorry that I’ve always been so consumed with my career that I’ve let so many horrible things happen to my family.”

So many horrible things. That sounded like a hell of a lot more than just Jake and his mother.

Jake’s head snapped up. “What do you mean?”

Adam hadn’t rejoined us after he served the drinks. Instead he’d wandered over to the windows. “It means you may have gotten fucked over the hardest, but you certainly aren’t the only one.”

All three of us turned to stare at Adam, not that he seemed to care. Instead he kept talking and staring. I noticed that his jaw ticked a heck of a lot like Jake’s. Must be a family trait. “No one in this room is naïve enough to expect perfection out of this meeting. Family is messy, especially when you combine it with politics.” He glanced back, right at Jake. “This is fucked up. There is no other way to describe it. I love the Senator, but he’s a career politician through and through. He will never be warm and fuzzy and he can’t change what he’s done. Becoming part of this family will in no way absolve him of his sins or change the life you’ve already led.” He turned his gaze to the Senator and dropped his voice. “Sometimes I don’t like being part of it either.”

Jake shifted beside me and I could feel the tension—no, that wasn’t the right word—the desperation in his movements. “Then why did you make contact?” he asked. “I have a good life now. There was no need to interrupt it if it isn’t going to change anything. And don’t give me that presidential bullshit.”

The Senator winced then cleared his throat. “Because I want to try to make it right. Adam’s correct,” he nodded toward the window. “You are not the only one who’s been affected by me. But you are my biggest regret. Running for president will change everything and I wanted to reach out while I still could.”

Jake’s mouth hung open a little. It was a lot to absorb for anyone, let alone him. I knew it wasn’t exactly cupcakes and roses inside powerful families, but it was different to live it for yourself—to be confronted in a way that you couldn’t escape. And we most definitely couldn’t escape this.

I never thought about Jake’s mother anymore. I used to, way back when we were first dating and I was trying so hard to understand it all, but ever since I confronted Jake’s parents on their lawn all those years ago, I stopped caring. Whatever had happened in her life to make her so awful, it didn’t matter. She was who she was.

It was hard to ignore her now. We were sitting in the home she’d spent part of her childhood. She’d run on that lawn, sat on this sofa. Her father was a work obsessed, power hungry politician who had, according to him, ignored his family, and now he wanted to make amends. But was it for him, or for his family? I still wasn’t sure.

No one said anything for so long that I felt forced to mediate. “What does that look like to you, Senator?”

He gave me a grateful smile. “I wanted to start by getting to know my grandson and his family. I will answer any questions you have as honestly as I can.” He folded his hands together and narrowed his eyes. “Maybe if we can find some common ground we can begin to build a new foundation.”

It was so cliché it hurt. The laugh bubbled up as soon as “build a new foundation” came out of his mouth. I pressed my lips together to try and stop it, but Jake started shaking his head, then his whole body as his own laugh took over.

“What did I say?” the Senator asked, looking back and forth between us, baffled.

Jake covered his mouth and waved at me to explain since he couldn’t stop laughing. So I took a deep breath and tried to compose myself.

It was very hard.

“We have a bet on how many political lines you’ll feed us this week, Senator. ‘Finding common ground and building a new foundation’ is on the top ten list.”

Adam laughed from across the room. “Please tell me that this is a drinking game.” He grabbed the decanter of scotch and walked around refilling each of our glasses, and then he held his up. “To the long lost grandson being the kick in the ass our future president has always needed!”

The Senator stared a little wide-eyed as the three of us held up our glasses and took a shot of his expensive scotch.

I was starting to feel a little bit better about this week.

* * *

Using my very best ninja skills I quietly closed the inner door that separated our room from the girls. “They’re asleep.”

Jake looked up from his iPad, cocking an eyebrow. “Do you think it’s wise to close the door? First night in a strange place…”

I shook my head. Silly man. Distracted, stressed out man. Jake hadn’t seen what I’d changed into when he took the girls down to the bathroom to brush their teeth. He hadn’t seen that I’d slipped out of my Columbia shirt and jeans and into his favorite black lingerie. All he saw was the black kimono I was wearing. The one he’d brought back from his trip to China earlier this year.

He apparently hadn’t noticed that the only times I ever wore it were when I was trying to seduce him.

Ha, trying. There was no trying when it came to Jake. Or me. The way we were together, the passion that always quietly surged barely checked beneath the surface, all it took was opening the floodgates. Seducing Jake was as simple as releasing the ribbon that held the fabric over my nearly naked body.

“Trust me.” My voice came out much huskier than I’d planned. “They are so asleep it won’t matter if the door is closed for the next forty-five minutes to an hour.”

Then, as I sauntered toward the bed with my eyes locked on my devastatingly sexy husband, I released the ribbon.

Jake sucked in a breath. “Well that’s an unexpectedly nice change of direction,” he murmured, his voice now just as husky as mine. His tongue darted out and ran lightly over his bottom lip as he slowly drank me in. “Not that I’m looking this incredibly sexy gift horse in the mouth but, what’s this Eve?”

I stopped in front of him and he slid out to the edge of the mattress, setting his jeans-clad thighs on either side of me and his large hands on my hips. There was something about Jake…his touch and being in the orbit of his atmosphere, it set me instantly on fire, even after all these years.

“This is the most stressful day we’ve had since getting back together and there is one surefire way to get you to stop thinking and start relaxing.”

He nuzzled into the valley between my breasts, then turned his head and relaxed against my chest, breathing me in, hands kneading my hips. “That’s not true.” His breath whispered across my skin. “But today is a close second.”

Memories flooded my head for a split second—that was all I ever allowed—before I pushed them away. I didn’t want to think about being sad and lost after Sam was born. Not when I was trying very hard to be sexy.

He looked up and our eyes locked. For a brief moment in time I allowed the emotions to swirl around us. “Don’t think, Jake.” I ran my hands through his hair and felt him relax.

“I’m not thinking,” he rumbled. “I’m feeling.”

Which was worse. It was always worse. “Then let’s give all those feelings a channel to escape into.”

He groaned, low and deep in his chest, then shot another glance at the closed door—always the father. Then the next thing I knew I was flat on my back with a sexy beast of an aroused man looming above me with lust in his eyes. He fingered the edge of the black silk robe. “You know, I just realized something.” His fingers danced along the skin of my belly. “You only wear this when we have sex.”

I grinned. “That took you long enough to figure out.”

“This is like putting a sock on the door in college.”

I squirmed as he traced the scalloped edge of the very low-cut bra. “Exactly.”

Then he very slowly and deliberately tugged the fabric down, tucking it beneath my breast. I felt his cock grow hard as he rocked his hips against me in an unconscious rhythm. “You planned this?”

“I did,” I breathed. He was very slowly and carefully turning me on. The heat rose from my core to my chest, taking my breath away.

He paused. “Thank you.” He kissed me with his hand on my jaw, then turned it deeper, his hand sliding down and fisting in my hair.

“We take care of each other, Jake. That’s what we do. It’s why we work.” I tilted my hips up and found a rhythm against his jeans. God, how I loved jeans.

He panted heavy as he pulled back from the kiss, looking down at our bodies moving together as one. “There is nothing in the world as distracting, mind-blowing, or exhausting as your body.”

His compliment lit me up. But the reason wasn’t the face value of his words. It was the meaning that lay hidden underneath. I turned him on in any state. Clothed, naked, pregnant, extra weight, too skinny—it wasn’t the way I looked that turned him on—it was the fact that it was me. My touch. My skin against his. My voice moaning in his ear. My body exploding with his. I was his woman and he was my man, and together we were a nuclear explosion of chemistry in every way possible.

Which was what made sex so very distracting and relaxing. It was a full body experience as much as it was a mental cleansing. There was nothing like it.

“Let’s get lost inside each other,” I said just as Jake took my nipple into his mouth. He nodded and the movement felt fantastic.

He ran his nose over the skin of my breast before moving to free the other. “I think we leave this on tonight.” The he gave me a wicked grin. “They’re right where I want them.”

“Your shirt must go, I’m afraid. But…” I bit my lips as I helped him yank the t-shirt over his broad shoulders, “leave the jeans on.”

He whimpered. It was a scenario we didn’t use nearly enough. We loved to draw out our pleasure, but the quick, hurried, totally inappropriate public sex we used to have in secret was our favorite.

It was also something we’d stopped almost entirely since Max was born. We weren’t quite as wild and carefree with our passion as we used to be. But every so often we pretended.

“Woman…” he hissed as I pushed his jeans down just enough to free his thick cock.

“Don’t make me wait too long.”

His eyes smoldered and his muscles rippled with tension. Oh yeah, I’d done my job setting a scene that would drive Jake absolutely wild.

And he was doing his: using that restrained passion to light me up at warp speed. His fingers dove hungrily into my heat as his mouth closed over my breast. A livewire snapped and zinged between the two points, heating my skin.

“Jake,” I whispered.

“Oh darlin’. Be careful saying my name like that,” he murmured against my skin. I could feel the smile curving his lips. I could feel the raw need coursing from his fingers as they dug into my hips as if he needed purchase to keep himself from flying apart.

This was going to be fast and intense.

“I can’t wait.”

He froze, probably weighing the options. On the one hand, he could force me to endure another couple of minutes of foreplay. He’d be guaranteed a quick and successful orgasm from me if he chose that route. On the other hand, he could give in to my plea and get lost in the moment. He might have to help finish me off, but then again, neither of us ever minded the million different routes we took to orgasm.

“I hope you’re ready for this,” he growled, holding my panties to the side and thrusting the head of his cock up and in so that he was seated just inside me.

I arched backward at the familiar invasion, clutching at his strong, steady shoulders. “Oh, I’m ready.”

His eyes flashed. He held himself steady over me as he rocked his hips in long, firm strokes. He stretched me, inch by inch, until he filled me completely, watching the transformation he caused. “Fuck, it’s so hot to watch you.”

I shivered as he rocked against my clit and ran my fingers up his neck and into his hair, giving the short locks a gentle tug. “I like it when you watch. I want you to see what you do to me.”

And from there, Jake never took his eyes off me. Not for a second.

It was even more erotic to imagine this was a darkly lit hallway somewhere we’d snuck off to for a quick minute or two. His naked torso melded against mine through the opening in my robe, my breasts out on full display, my nipples gliding against his chest as he pumped into me hard and fast.

I loved the feel of his jeans against the inside of my thighs. Remembering the urgency he always felt with me. It wasn’t any different here, alone and appropriate in a bed, but there was always something special about the way we could never wait, no matter where we were.

His breath was hot. His cock filled me over and over. The knot of pleasure wound tight and low, right where we met. Each thrust forced me to stretch around his girth, and he paused at the end of each stroke to enjoy the infinite pleasure of being completely enveloped in my heat. I grabbed his bare ass, holding on to each of those waves. When the head of his cock hit deep, it sent a cascade of overwhelming pleasure out from my core. It lit up my clit. My nipples tingled, making his erratic strokes that much more pleasurable.

Jake was quickly losing control. His orgasm was close, and so was mine. I forced myself to focus long enough to figure out what I needed to tip off the cliff into white-hot bliss. But Jake beat me to it. That man… he always knew what I needed. He could read my body like a book he’d memorized a hundred times over. I was as familiar to him as he was to me.

He bent down, panting against my shoulder, and kissed his way up the sensitive stretch of skin that ran behind my ear. Then he nuzzled the outer rim with the tip of his nose, all while thrusting inside me with a jagged urgency that came from being totally lost in pleasure.

Then he whispered, “Come for me, darlin’. Let me watch you fall apart in my arms. I’ve got you. I’ve always got you.”

The combination of his breath on my skin sending shivers of pleasure over my body, with the deep, rough sound of his voice pleading for that emotional and physical connection between us to be solidified, along with an even harder and wilder thrust that sent a wave of fire through my body and into my soul, sent me crashing over the edge into oblivion.

I mashed my lips together and tried desperately not to moan and whimper. He continued to pound into me for another three strokes before he kissed me, muffling the sounds of both our orgasms and connecting us in every way possible.

I trembled as wave after wave of pleasure tore through me. I absolutely loved the feeling of being full, so when Jake finally stilled, carefully lowering his heavy weight on top of me, another gentle round of waves squeezed his cock. He twitched in response. I smiled.

“Amazing,” he whispered, then began sucking and kissing the sweat from my shoulder.

I massaged his ass, wondering if I’d ever stop contracting around him. His weight on top of me was always so reassuring. This man was mine—all mine.

5

JAKE

I couldn’t sleep. Not even after awesome sex, which meant I was pretty much a lost cause because sex always put me to sleep. I tried for a while. Eve was curled up on my chest so it was easy to drift around in my head while listening to the steady rhythm of her breathing, but I kept getting lost in questions that had no answers.

So I slid out of bed and threw on a shirt before opening the door and going for a walk. The house was big enough that I should be able to wander for a while. I mean really, did anyone expect me to sleep this weekend? The whole thing was an out of body experience.

There was odd, then there was strange, and then there was this. And tomorrow we were going to get up and do it all over again. This time with my grandmother and cousins.

It was still so weird to hear the words your and grandmother in the same sentence. I didn’t have a grandmother. But now, suddenly, I did. And cousins. By the sounds of them all piling into the house throughout the night it sounded like a small army was here for the weekend.

I was going from zero family to more than I could count in no time at all. What were they like? Were they all stiff and power-mad like the Senator, or were some of them normal like Adam and Elizabeth? Okay, so neither of them was “normal” in the sense that their lives were typical, but they were normal in the sense that they laughed and made jokes. They saw the humor and the horror in reality. They were real people with hopes and dreams, just like Eve and me.

I think I was starting to realize that this was the clincher for me. Was the McKinley family a family or were they an institution? I wanted them to be a family. It scared the crap out of me to admit it, but I’d slowly fallen in love with the idea of having a family. I didn’t give two shits about the political stuff, or the money, or the power—I had everything I needed and wanted in those arenas—what I didn’t have were people to fill the seats beside me at the kid’s school plays and soccer games. Eve’s family was so overwhelming I didn’t think the girls had ever noticed there were no aunts and uncles and grandparents from my side, but I did. I noticed every time.

I hated that I felt jealous of the other families. All those proud grandparents pretending to love the silly songs, or cheering as a herd of kids fell over each other as they tried to kick a ball. I had everything I’d ever need, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to myself that I wanted more.

So yeah, it was exciting and terrifying to walk around this massive house that had been in my family since the turn of the century, had seen generations of McKinley’s born and raised, been the center of a political dynasty, and wish it could be part of my life, too.

Or stupid. There was a huge chance I was being stupid. Sometimes I couldn’t stop the kid in me from wanting to come out and play like all the other kids had. They had hopes and dreams, but I couldn’t. They had gotten in trouble for honest mistakes, where I’d gotten beaten for being stupid.

Even thinking about it hurt like hell.

Somehow I managed to wander back to the study where we’d met the Senator. There was a light on inside. Apparently insomnia ran in the family and since my only other option was to go back upstairs and stare at the ceiling while I tried not to wake my wife, I decided to see who else was up.

Adam was stretched out on the sofa with a book and a scotch. Which was a really good idea, now that I thought about it.

“Can’t sleep?” he asked, looking over his book.

I shook my head and poured myself a drink.

“Don’t blame you,” he said.

“What are you reading?” I asked, sitting across from him.

He closed the book and stared at the cover as if he didn’t know what book he was holding. “The Firm. It’s my favorite. I always keep it in my bag.”

I took a swig of the liquor and let it sink into my veins before I did anything else, letting it take the edge off my nerves. “Why can’t you sleep?” My insomnia was obvious, his not so much.

He sat up and tossed the book onto the cushion beside him. “The Senator has a way of making it hard to sleep at night.”

We toasted to that and relaxed for a few minutes.

“What was it like coming here as a kid?” Maybe Adam could answer my questions.

He shrugged, looking around. “Intimidating. We didn’t come for several years because of the fallout between my mom and the Senator, but when we finally did, it was tense. He’s a hard man to please but it only took a couple of years for the cousins to finally figure out that he didn’t have as much power over them as he did over our parents.”

“Kids figure that shit out fast, don’t they?” I chuckled.

“They do. You would have thought Pandora’s box had been opened the way the Senator reacted to the new order, but he eventually sank into it and has accepted the fact that family means forgiveness and even, occasionally, having fun.”

There was so much to unpack in those short sentences, but the most important part was the end. Family. Forgiveness. Fun. Maybe I wasn’t completely stupid for hoping.

“You’ve made it work. I’m hopeful I can, too,” I murmured.

“Can I ask you something?” The way he was wringing his hands and his eyes were a little wild gave me the impression he was grappling with something.

“Sure.”

“How…” he shook his head and took a breath starting over, “what helped the most with putting your past behind you?” He hung his head. “I know that was a stupid question considering we are no longer behind you.”

I saw right through his words to the meaning hidden underneath. He wasn’t asking for himself—he was asking for Elizabeth. He was asking as the partner who needed help in a situation he couldn’t fathom. I knew the type of desperation Adam had in his eyes all too well. I saw it in Eve’s all the time.

“What’s troubling your beautiful fiancée?” I asked, cutting straight to problem he hadn’t actually voiced.

“We’re happy,” he said. “But I know it’s temporary. She and her sister are close. Eventually the parents will come back into the picture. It’s like Elizabeth is stuck in pause, waiting for them to show up and ruin everything.”

Probably because they’d done it more times than she could count. She wasn’t stuck, she was preparing—not that Adam wanted to hear that. But then again, as a couple, they had cut ties to her family and made the drastic move across the ocean to start over fresh. Her parents may show up in their lives again but I had serious doubts about their ability to ruin anything Adam and Elizabeth had built.

So I took a breath and reassured my cousin in the best way I knew how.

“It takes time for it to fully sink in that they don’t have that power anymore—that you don’t care what they do or what they think because you have a new life.” I took a swig of my scotch. “To realize that the other shoe isn’t going to drop.”

Because even when they try, you’ve moved so far beyond them that it doesn’t matter. Like a fly trying to annoy a giant. One swat puts an end to the buzzing.

“Time,” he repeated. “I keep telling myself that, but sometimes I need to hear it from someone else.”

And that got me thinking about when I finally came to terms with my ability to control my future. “You know, the best therapy I ever got was having kids. They throw an entirely new perspective into things. You see the world through a new lens, put yourself into some new shoes. As hard as I’d worked, I hadn’t been able to completely flip things around like the girls did for me.”

“Well, I don’t think kids are anywhere in our future,” Adam chuckled.

“It doesn’t have to be kids. For me it was the shock of seeing so much of myself in Sam and Max. My issues are tied so strongly to my childhood and how I was raised. Find the same thing for her.”

We talked for a little while longer before he excused himself and went back upstairs. He left his book for me in case I wanted to read, but I didn’t. I was stuck in a moment and I wanted to think this one all the way through.

Sometimes when I looked at Eve I wasn’t just seeing the woman I loved, I was seeing a piece of my life in motion. Watching her in her role as mother was what knocked my head into place. I could see how much of a loving mother she was…and how much mine was not. It was like I could see the past and the present at the same time. How they chose different paths, handled situations differently. It hit me hard every time because the way I was raised was the only way I knew. The first time it happened, Sam had asked for a cookie.

A cookie.

It was such a simple request. Something every kid asked for. Who didn’t want a cookie if they could have one?

But on this particular occasion I was putting groceries away in the fridge while Eve lined everything up on the counters. Sam came skidding in asking for a cookie. Eve scowled, but it was a pretend scowl. A game.

My mother’s scowls were always real.

“A cookie is a treat, Sam. Those are special.” Eve had said.

And even as she was saying the words I could feel my entire body tense up and my veins flood with strange emotions, but I was so locked up in watching the situation unfold that I couldn’t stop and figure out what it was that I was feeling.

“So…can I have a cookie?” Sam asked again.

She was so cute. So mine. And I wanted to give her the entire box of cookies, and then go buy her a bakery so she could have as many cookies as she wanted forever.

But that feeling was stupid. It was bad. I wasn’t supposed to think that way. So I shoved it down.

Eve kept making faces; each one more ridiculous than the last, then sighed dramatically and opened the box. “Eat a cookie, baby. Every day is special. Name something that made you happy today.”

Nothing in front of me made any damn sense. That wasn’t what Eve was supposed to do. She was supposed to say no. She should be lecturing Sam about how ungrateful she was, how bad sugar was for her teeth. She was supposed to send Sam to her room for being disrespectful and tell her that her father would teach her a lesson when he came home.

And that was when it hit me. I wanted to die right then and there.

That wasn’t who Eve was and it sure as fuck wasn’t who I was. Sam was a good, sweet kid and I would never, ever feel the need to “teach her a lesson” about respect over asking for a cookie.

Fuck, I’d probably give her another damn cookie for asking nicely.

I had some serious, deeply ingrained bullshit clogging up my brain if I could look at Eve and Sam and honestly expect them to behave in any way like my mother had. And my mother had some serious issues if she felt that a child asking for a cookie was cause for punishment. My parents used everything as a lesson, but that lesson was never really about respect, it was about control. Some twisted belief that treats were a pathway to corruption and I was doomed to be evil.

Over cookies.

And then there was Eve, smiling and laughing with our daughter about cherishing life. She was always so good about making sure the girls understood that it was a gift—one they should take full advantage of. She used cookies as lessons too, but her lessons were about looking for the good in each day. Her happy thoughts.

The difference between Eve and Lydia was night and day. My kid’s lives would never look anything like mine.

Sitting here in this house was forcing me to think about my mother, really think about her, for the first time in years. I loved my mother because that’s what you do, and because she was the only one to ever show me any kind of affection. She was who I spent most of my time with, especially when they pulled me out of public school for all the “bad influences.” In hindsight I realized they knew they were getting close to being reported to the authorities, so they removed as much outside contact as possible. It meant my world consisted of two people. That was it.

It’s hard to imagine something you’ve never seen, and all I knew of love was what I got from her. But what I’d finally come to understand was that she didn’t love me. What she did wasn’t out of love. She was as much an abuser as my father was; she just preferred to play the passive role instead of the aggressor. She made it seem like it was my dad, but she was the one pulling the strings behind the scenes. She encouraged him to take things to the next level, reassured him—and herself—that they were “raising me right.”

She was so fucked up and she worshipped my father like a king. She would—and did—do anything to please him, including feeding her own son to the wolves as a sacrifice. It took me a long, long time to come to terms with that feeling, one I still had trouble voicing because it hurt so much: I hated my mother.

And being here with her family I had to wonder if there was always something off about her or if they did something to put her on the path to my father. Were they the reason she chose an abusive asshole to dedicate her life to, or was she something they had no control over?

Did they punish her for wanting a cookie?

Most of the time I had no idea what I was doing as a dad. I’d been lucky that Eve had been so patient and shown me the way. Sometimes I muddled my way through, other times I just followed her lead. But what I learned from the cookie was to ignore the training of my parents and follow my first instincts—the ones that told me to buy my sweet daughter a bakery.

I might not always know what I was doing, but I knew how to love…and that love was always the right answer.

6

EVE

Morning was calling. There was a slight change in the chill to the air and the ever present and unconscious nudge of Jake’s cock against my naked sex. The girls had slept through the night so Jake had slept wrapped around me.

And now his body was at attention even if he wasn’t aware of it.

I wiggled my hips, hoping to wake him with a warm, wet surprise, but I was the one who got the surprise instead.

“Morning, darlin’,” he rumbled, shockingly wide-awake. His hand drifted up my thigh and wrapped around my hip, holding me still so he could push inside me.

I swallowed down a moan and pushed back, taking more of him inside. “How long have you been awake?”

He pushed deeper. Not thrusting exactly—more like a slow seductive slide home. “Long enough to hear you murmur my name.” Our bodies locked together and he stilled. “Long enough to study the curve of your shoulder and plan exactly where to kiss you first.” He nuzzled into the crook of my neck and placed a kiss, then swirled his tongue over the exact same spot.

“Good. Morning,” I sighed.

Then he reached around and found my clit, giving it a lazy morning massage, before working his way north to my breasts. He kept his cock seated deep as he ran his fingers over my nipples, waking them from their satisfied slumber, until they were tingling and roaring for another round of intense sex.

“Oh yes,” he groaned as my sex clenched around his girth. “Baby…”

“Yes, baby?” I ground my hips back against his, trying for that little bit extra.

Instead, Jake slid his hand back south and found my clit again. He rubbed slow, firm circles and whispered his dirty thoughts in my ear as he began to make long thrusts in and out.

In and out.

Driving me straight toward a blinding morning orgasm. Then he rolled me onto my stomach and drove himself deep and hard until he found his own, collapsing on top of me just as we heard the pitter patter of two sets of little feet.

“They have radar,” Jake hissed in my ear.

“At least you got to finish this time.” Last week he’d just rolled me to my stomach when they wandered in. We’d had to stop—of course—and I’d finished him off in the shower, but that was an hour and a breakfast later.

This was much more satisfying.

“Good morning, girls,” I cooed in my very best mom-voice. “Can you find your iPads and start a show while we get you some milks?” We were mostly covered in what seemed like endless folds of fluffy comforter and the girls could barely see up to the bed, let alone what exact position we were in.

“I got it Momma!” Sam said.

A minute later we were greeted by the comforting opening notes of The Backyardigans.

Jake nipped my earlobe. “That was your fault.”

“How was that my fault?” I laughed, rolling him off of me and pulling his oversized t-shirt between my legs.

“You seduced me with your wiggling hips and sexy shoulders.” He hopped out of bed, yanking his boxer briefs over his softening erection.

“I believe you have that backwards, Mr. Spencer. You seduced me with your carefully placed kiss and insistent hard-on.”

He twisted his lips and looked up as if he were genuinely debating the merits of each argument. “While you do have an excellent point, Mrs. Spencer, I’m afraid I must rule in my own favor. This morning romp is entirely your fault. I can in no way be held responsible for making love to you when you love me so completely.”

I threw a pillow at him. He was sweet. Too sweet.

“Give the girls their milks,” I said. “I need to grab some underwear and a robe and get a shower.”

He snagged me as I escaped the bed, kissing me deep. “Enjoy your shower.”

Thirty minutes later the Spencer family was clean and dressed for our first family breakfast with the McKinley clan. Everyone had steered far and wide of us yesterday, giving us a chance to get our feet under us and meet the Senator, but today we were fair game. I was ready and I was pretty sure Jake was, too. He’d been stressed last night, but this morning he was happy. Free.

Breakfast was served on the back patio on two long wood tables. A buffet was covered in every kind of breakfast food imaginable. Coffee, juice, and water were scattered along the tables, but we didn’t get to enjoy any of it. Not yet. The Senator snagged us before we could reach the food.

“Jake! Eve!” he bellowed.

Every head turned our way and I plastered on a smile. Showtime.

Everything moved in slow motion so I had more than enough time to glance at each face around the tables. Young and old, families appeared to be clustered together. I recognized several faces, while others were completely new.

Jake squeezed my hand and I squeezed back, then kissed him on the cheek for luck. “We’ve got your back.”

He gave me a nod, then greeted the Senator. “Good morning. Would you like to meet your great granddaughters?”

Sam was tucked into my side, but she stepped out confidently to shake his hand. “It is a pleasure to meet you.” My heart flip-flopped. She was turning into such a wonderful young lady.

The Senator was charmed. “And it is my great pleasure to meet you, my great granddaughter.”

Jake turned his hip. “And this is Max, short for Mackenzie.” Max beamed up at the Senator, but clutched at Jake’s shirt like it was a life raft.

“An honor to meet you, Mackenzie.”

Max scrunched up her nose. “Max.”

The Senator touched his chest. “Of course. Max it is.”

“It’s a baseball family thing,” I explained. “Nicknames are almost more important than given names.” What I couldn’t fully explain was my love of masculine names for girls. Maybe it was because my sisters and I had such obviously girly names while growing up around so many men. Maybe I subconsciously wanted to flip that script and give my girls a new twist on another generation of baseball.

Or maybe I just really liked the names Sam and Max. Jake had too. Somehow we’d both come to the conclusion Max needed to be named Max without even speaking to each other about it. Just one morning at my parent’s house at breakfast, my mom asked what names we were each thinking. I blushed and said Max. Jake’s jaw fell open. He’d been thinking the same thing.

So she was Max from that moment on.

From there the Senator escorted us around the tables, allowing us a chance to grab croissants to munch as we walked. I was starving by the time we got to sit and eat.

“The waffles are divine, but please don’t choke on them,” a beautiful older woman murmured as she slid into the seat beside me. I hadn’t met her during our rounds, but there was something familiar about her.

“I’m so hungry,” I sighed as I shoved a giant forkful of waffle into my mouth.

She smiled as if she understood exactly what I meant. “Eat. Let the food get into your blood stream. This,” she waved around the table,” won’t end until you leave for the airport.”

I shrugged and swallowed another enormous bite. “I’m used to large groups of crazy.” To a little girl, a raucous group of ballplayers was as strange as it could get. The McKinley’s were stiff and restrained by comparison, but not in any way difficult to be around.

The woman smiled. “I know. I’m sure you’re more than prepared for this. But just to warn you, this group is its own brand of weird.”

I glanced over the woman as I continued to inhale my waffles. Her chin-length hair was almost golden, but very much white as well. Her skin was radiant and her eyes a bright blue. She was dressed impeccably, but casually, in a white shirt with a deep blue cardigan and a matching skirt. She was the picture of casual elegance for an outdoor breakfast on a patio.

And I had no idea who she was.

“Grandmother, you made it,” Susan, one of the cousins we’d just met, stopped and dropped a kiss on the woman’s cheek.

I choked on my waffle. No wonder she looked familiar. Aside from having seen her on television over the years, she was in nearly every picture in the house. She was Lydia Rose McKinley, Jake’s grandmother.

“Of course,” she said, patting Susan on the arm. “I couldn’t miss Adam’s engagement party. Or finally meeting my long-lost grandson.”

Susan shot me a half-smile. “I’m sorry to interrupt. Please, continue.” She immediately excused herself.

I set my fork down and stood so I could formally introduce myself. “Mrs. McKinley?”

She waved me back into my seat. “Sit.” I dropped back into the chair. “Call me Rose. And may I call you Eve?”

I nodded. Here was Jake’s grandmother, all casually dropping in beside me as if we were old friends, as if this wasn’t some huge and momentous occasion. Had she even introduced herself to Jake yet?

Speaking of the man in question, where was Jake?

“I wanted to meet you first,” she explained, drawing my attention back to her as if she could hear every thought in my head.

Jake was nowhere to be seen. The girls were sitting at the kids table devouring pancakes and fruits like they were going out of style, but I still couldn’t find my husband. It felt wrong to meet his grandmother without him.

“Why?” I asked, giving up. Why on earth would she skip over Jake and come meet me first?

Her eyes dropped to her hands for a moment. “Because when the dust settles, it’s you who will be left to hold him up. I want to make sure you and I have a good relationship before you leave.”

I let her words settle in my mind before I replied. “How much do you know?” I asked quietly.

“More than my husband, less than I should.”

My gut twisted. This was wrong on so many levels. I didn’t mind talking about Jake’s life with his grandmother if that was what they both wanted, but not before he met her. “You should meet Jake first.”

“He’s with the Senator. I will meet him in a moment. But first, you and I need to establish a foundation.”

Suddenly waffles didn’t taste so great anymore. “I don’t go behind my husband’s back, Rose. We’re a team, even with the hard stuff.”

“But the Senator and I are not. I’ve known about your husband since the day he was born. I visited him and Diane in the hospital.”

Full stop. My heart, my brain…all of it came to a dead stop.

Rose knew about Jake? Had visited him?

“And the Senator?” I asked cautiously. I was five seconds from losing my shit and I was pretty sure that would be frowned upon behavior for a McKinley family breakfast.

She waved her hand. “He’s blissfully unaware, as usual. If it doesn’t further that man’s career he knows absolutely nothing about it.” The ice in her voice turned my blood cold. This family had more bad blood than I’d imagined.

“Why? Why did you leave him with her?” I finally whispered when nothing else came to mind. Unless she didn’t understand how bad things were. Maybe she only thought she knew about Jake.

Her chin rose an inch, almost as if she was putting on armor. The poise and grace were practiced, as was the smile. This wasn’t a happy woman. Not by a long stretch. “The simplest answer is that I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t steal him from his parents. I couldn’t prove anything. Diane was so stubborn,” she bit out. “Jake probably doesn’t remember me, but I visited him several times when he was very young. He seemed content. Not happy, but content. Diane kept insisting that I had her husband all wrong. That he’d never lay a hand on a child. I knew in my gut that she was lying to me…” her voice trailed away.

She had no idea. Not if she thought leaving Jake behind was a possibility. Yes, she knew more than the Senator, but not by much. I wanted to scream at her. Yell that she should have stolen Jake. Forced Jake’s mother to see reason. Made things right. But I wasn’t in her shoes and I didn’t know what the struggle was actually like. From my own dealings with Jake’s parents I knew it was difficult and complicated, and that was on a good day.

But I also knew I would have done more if the roles were reversed. I would have moved heaven and earth to make things right. So that’s exactly what I said.

“You should have done more. You should have tried harder.”

She winced. “I know.”

“Do you? Because you’re sitting there like this was some sort of minor issue—”

The color drained from her face. It was in that moment that I fully understood just how much denial Rose was in. She didn’t have the facts and she hadn’t done her research, but she knew. Deep down inside she’d always known that Jake’s life was hell—she just couldn’t allow herself to admit it.

“Isn’t it?” she asked. “A minor issue, that is?”

I shook my head. “You need to talk to Jake.”

“I’m talking to you.”

Probably because looking Jake in the eye when he confirmed everything she feared would be too much to handle. “If you want to know just how colossally major this issue is, grow some courage and face your grandson.”

Her mouth fell open just as the Senator suddenly appeared behind her with Jake. “And this is your grandmother, Rose.”

In a few brief moments I saw a lot of things pass across her face, but the most significant one was realization. Rose may have understood that Jake Sr. was a bad man. She may even have understood that Jake had a rough life because of it, but I don’t think, until she heard the venom in my voice, that she truly realized just how bad things were.

And then she blinked and turned her attention to Jake, plastering on a loving and oblivious smile. “Oh my dear, come over here and give me hug.”

“It is a pleasure to meet you,” he said with a huge smile on his face.

“Please call me Rose, everyone does.”

She threw her arms around Jake’s neck and he ducked down so he didn’t tower over her. I took that opportunity to let her see just how upset I was. How disappointed. It wasn’t the time or place to start a war.

Not when Jake was just beginning to smile.

My time would come and when it did, I’d make sure that Rose fully understood that she hadn’t just made a mistake—she’d ruined his life.

7

JAKE

I needed to find Eve. I needed to feel her skin against mine, just for a few minutes. I wasn’t normally overwhelmed by busy days filled with people, but this was particularly overwhelming and I wanted a few moments alone with my wife.

I spotted her across the library. She was standing with two of my cousins from my Uncle Evan’s side. I think. Honestly they were all starting to blur together a bit.

But not Eve. She was a ray of familiar sunlight in the chaos. She kept doing sweet things like wearing my favorite underwear or seducing me before bed. Little things she knew made me feel special. Today she was wearing my favorite pair of her lacey hot pink panties. The ones that were more see through than not. The ones I’d bought for our anniversary weekend.

There were some spectacularly good memories associated with that scrap of fabric and for some reason, seeing her slide them up her legs combined with the sexy knowing smile she shot me when she caught me drooling, made things a lot easier to handle. So would sidling up next to her and rubbing my hand up and down her back so that I could cop a feel, so that’s exactly what I was going to do.

She was dressed in business casual, as we all were. Something about the affair demanded dressing up, but not going over the top. Her linen skirt and blouse were beautiful, but shapely in all the right ways. The ways that made my blazer feel like one layer too many. Maybe we could sneak away for a few minutes and I could strip us both out of our clothes…

“Jake, come over here,” the Senator waved me away from my prize and toward yet another conversation with my uncles. “Luke was asking about your work with the local government in Tampa.”

I swiped a glass of iced tea off a tray to help cool me down. “Well, we’ve got a couple of projects with the county developing some new flood control plans, but that’s a long ways off.”

My uncle was tall like me, but had blond hair that was shot through with white, much closer to my grandmother’s looks than the Senator’s. “But you’ve formed a disaster team? I’m not sure I understand what that is.”

“Well, it’s pretty straightforward. In the same way that the power companies stage trucks and supplies to move into disaster zones, we stage crews and equipment specially designed for the recovery. We’re talking building and bridge collapses, blocked roadways, and flood zones.”

After the development of our new flood control systems we’d decided to put our brains to good use and offer our services to the state and local governments. I’d learned a lot about red tape and due process, but a year ago we’d gotten everything straightened out and were ready to roll when Hurricane George hit. I was very proud that we weren’t just a company for profit, but that we also worked to improve the lives of the people in our community.

It felt right. Why develop all this technology if we weren’t going to use it when it mattered most?

I answered a dozen more questions before I was finally able to extract myself from the conversation and make my way to Eve.

“Well hello there, wife,” I murmured against her ear in the exact spot that always made her shiver and melt back into my arms. I liked it when she did that.

“Hello husband.” She closed her eyes for a moment and we connected. Her warmth with mine. Her scent invaded my nostrils. Her energy exploded with mine. It wasn’t enough—not nearly enough—but it was something.

“Wow. How long have you two been married?” Susan asked.

I took a long slow breath, soaking up as much Eve as I could. “Seven years. Almost eighteen since we met.”

She blinked. “And you still want to jump her bones?”

Eve giggled.

“Always,” I smiled. “Always and forever.”

Eve turned pink. I loved it when she turned pink because it forced me to think about all the places she turned pink.

“You two are an interesting addition to the family,” Susan breathed. “A good addition.” And then she excused herself so we could be alone.

Finally.

She turned in my arms. “How are you doing?”

So sexy. So mine. “Better now. You?”

She shrugged. “I’m tired. I was thinking of taking a nap before the party. The girls could use one.”

“I could use one,” I growled. An hour or two in bed? Yes, please. Even if all we did was run our hands along whatever skin we could, it would be better than this. Besides, the party was guaranteed to be fun but exhausting. A nap was definitely in order.

“Fifteen minutes? I think three o’clock is a respectable hour for a family nap.

“Three it is.” I leaned back to get a better look at her. There was something…off. “Are you okay?”

She blinked a few times, which was always Eve-code for secrets, even simple ones. The woman could not lie to me. “Fine. Overwhelmed, tired, worried about you, but fine.”

“Liar,” I chuckled and pulled her against my chest for a hug. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” she said, her voice muffled.

“Is it nothing because it’s terrible and you don’t want to tell me until we get home, or nothing because it’s not worth explaining?” With Eve it could easily be either.

She didn’t reply. Oh, that wasn’t good.

“Eve?”

Her shoulders slumped then she looked up, defeated, and grabbed my hand, pulling me out into the hallway. “I wasn’t going to tell you but you’re too damned perceptive,” she whispered.

I leaned against the wall in an attempt to give off a relaxed vibe to help lighten the situation but I wasn’t too sure it worked. “Just lay it out there. It’s always better when you and I talk it out.”

She frowned and rolled her eyes, groaning. “Whatever. Hug me first.”

So I did. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close, breathed in her shampoo, got a little bit stiff because she was so warm and perfect when she was pressed up against me and my body had no choice but to respond.

“It’s Rose,” she said into the fabric of my blazer.

I froze. “What about her?” Things had been going well. Not perfect—not by a long shot—but well. Everyone was nice and pretty friendly, all things considered. There were obviously some things people were holding back and I was pretty sure there were more than a handful of secrets no one liked to talk about, but no one was angry or upset. I hadn’t had any bad vibes from anyone.

I was beginning to think the McKinley’s weren’t terrible people.

“She doesn’t understand,” Eve whispered, craning her head up to look me in the eyes.

I brushed her hair back from her face, trying to read her eyes. “Doesn’t understand what, darlin’? There’s a lot on the table.”

She sighed. “She doesn’t know how bad things were. She thinks you simply had an unhappy childhood.”

That was old news, but there was something in the way Eve said it that made me think there was more than denial. “Well…how would they know? They weren’t there and it’s pretty hard for most people to comprehend what it’s really like to live in an abusive household.” I tended to turn technical when things cut too close. It was a self-preservation instinct.

Eve squirmed. “She was there.”

I froze. “What?”

Her eyes widened. She was upset and worried and a million different things. None of which I wanted to see when I looked into her eyes.

“She used to visit you when you were little. She was there.”

I didn’t mean to, but I tightened my grip on Eve. Maybe I was holding on for dear life as the world fell away. I don’t know. All I did know was that I was glad she was there to hold me up.

“She visited?” A faint memory. A glimmer, really, of being allowed to go out to eat with my mother. At a deli. I was allowed to drink a Sprite. There was an older woman there. My mother was weird. She talked funny.

Was that Rose we visited in that deli? I’d completely forgotten about those trips. There weren’t many to remember, but more than one.

“You remember?” Eve whispered.

I nodded. “I think so. Maybe?” I wasn’t sure. It could have been someone else, but the more I thought about it, the more it seemed like the truth. “I got a lot of lectures from my mom about keeping our treat a secret. I wasn’t supposed to tell my father we went out. I wasn’t supposed to talk to the woman, but if I did it was only to say how much I loved learning about science and math.”

“Oh baby,” she murmured.

I loved that Eve was here and knew exactly what I was thinking, but I hated that it was affecting me so much.

And really, what could Rose have done? Even if I’d known who she was I never, ever would have told her what my life at home looked like. She would have had to come over unannounced and force her way inside.

I closed my eyes and shook it all away. “It’s done, babe. The past is the past. We can’t change it.” Fuck, I felt like a broken record, always saying the same thing about the past being part of me whether I liked it or not. “She clearly feels more comfortable talking to you than me.” That was the part that stung.

“It’s a girl thing?” she shrugged. “Actually, I think she’s so used to the Senator ignoring her that she assumed it would be more realistic to talk to me.”

I’d picked up on the same thing. It didn’t appear that my grandparents had a very loving or passionate relationship. In fact, I’d call it cold and a little bit angry. And while none of my uncles or cousins seemed to be particularly in love, none of them seemed upset the way my grandparents were.

“I’ll talk to her,” I said after a minute of thinking. “I want to get to know her a little better before I decide what to say.”

Eve nodded and faked a smile in a sad attempt to make me feel better. “I think we should take that nap now.”

There was too much going on. I was feeling too much again. I grabbed her hand and pulled her into an empty room. By the looks of things it was an office. The drapes were drawn closed and the lights were out, but there was a large desk in the middle of the room.

“Over here,” she whispered, pointing to a dark alcove out of sight of the door.

“Perfect. No distractions.” I rumbled as I smothered her in kisses. “You can give me your undivided attention.”

Her voice dropped a couple of octaves into the seductive range, hands roaming over my shoulders. “And what kind of attention were you hoping for?”

I nipped and sucked at her throat. “Oh, I don’t know. Nothing crazy.” Then I grinned and flashed her a smile that always guaranteed me an aroused sigh. “But I’d love some time to worship your skin.”

A love drunk smile washed over her features. I loved when it happened. I always felt powerful. I had this ability to take the most amazing woman on the planet and turn her into a puddle of pliant want. That kind of power went straight to my head.

“Is that all? We’re in a dark, quiet room, and our kids are happily distracted by an army of cousins.”

Oh, yes. It had been a good long time since we’d done something like this. “Are you sure?”

She rolled her eyes and then her hips. “Yes.”

That was all the reassurance I needed. It was a breath of fresh air. A weight lifted. Being with Eve when we were both desperate and just barely hidden away from the world was the most freeing thing I’d ever experienced. I placed my leg between hers and let her ride me while I kissed the crap out of her. I was never more myself than when I was with her. I liked to think it was the same for her. In these moments of naked passion we left our responsibilities and expectations at the door.

“Touch me,” she gasped. Her fingers grabbed a fistful of hair at the back of my head as she arched away, thrusting her breasts up toward my face.

Perfect. Absolutely perfect. Round, soft, and so very easy to turn my wife from an excited woman into a raving sex crazed enchantress. She bewitched me with her hunger for more. As if she were just as desperate for the high.

I slid a hand inside her shirt and ran my thumb under her bra. She gasped. I did it again and again until she moaned. My cock twitched to life, needing—like the rest of me—to answer that call to action. Instinct took over and before I had a chance to really think about what I was doing, I moved from cupping her gorgeous breasts to running a hand up her inner thigh. I took a lazy tour over her clit and down along her folds.

Thank goodness for the lacey hot pink underwear. They were nice and stetchy. Perfect for tugging out of the way.

“Jake,” she whispered against my ear. The throaty sound of her voice did crazy things to me and her breath against my skin drove me right to the brink of insanity.

But I would keep it in my pants—for now.

The key to these kinds of trysts was keeping it innocent looking until absolutely necessary. And that usually meant right up until Eve was writhing against a wall quivering around my fingers buried inside her.

The room was dark, but not too dark to be able to appreciate the vision of Eve’s eyes darkening as I turned her on. So hot.

And not too dark to see how the light cast the most enticing shadows over her skin.

I drove my fingers deeper inside her heat, massaging my way around until her hips bucked against my hand. We found a rhythm. One in which she fisted my hair and rode my hand. Even hotter.

And then I felt it. Those first flutters were my favorite. They were so filled with promise while also filling the moment with a manifestation of what we’d already accomplished.

“Are you ready for me?”

She nodded, eyes wild. I pulled my fingers back, licking them clean while she unzipped my fly and dug inside for her prize. I liked thinking of it that way—that I was her prize.

I lifted her high up against the wall, then she braced herself around me, guiding my cock into her heat. She was so wet. So very, very wet that it only took a few frantic strokes before I was buried and damn near about to lose my mind. Something always happened when I was surrounded by her. My brain short-circuited and all that existed was her. Burying myself in her. Chasing our orgasms until we were both fully satisfied.

I saw nothing but her as I thrust up and in. To my extreme pleasure and undoing, she reached inside her bra and started rolling her nipple. I was lost after that. The electric charge ignited somewhere in my brain and rolled south, surging through my veins and straight down into my cock.

She whimpered as she found her own orgasm, clenching me tight.

“That was intense,” she sighed as I lowered her to the ground. Luckily there was a tissue box nearby. I grabbed a couple and handed those to her before grabbing a few for me. It wouldn’t be clean, but it would definitely be less messy.

It wasn’t like this was our first rodeo.

“Is it bad that I miss doing this?” I tucked my cock back inside my boxer briefs and zipped up my fly.

Eve straightened her shirt and then her hair. Her cheeks pink and her eyes bright. “Not at all. I miss it too.”

I felt an ache in my chest. What was that? It was a bizarre mixture of satisfaction and worry.

Eve smiled. “I love us. I love everything about us. Even the complicated family history.”

And I realized as I rubbed my chest and opened the door, returning to the outside world, that the ache was exactly that: satisfaction and worry. Satisfaction because damn I was a lucky bastard to have found a woman who loved me so completely and in such explicit ways, but also worried because I didn’t ever want to lose it.

It was too precious. Eve was my life. I had everything I ever wanted and I’d be damned if I let anyone take moments like this away from us.

* * *

“Can’t we stay up later?” Sam whined as I walked them upstairs, one hand holding each girl.

“Nope. It’s already way past your bedtime.”

“But Daddy!” she yawned and yelled at the same time. She was so tired she didn’t even know what she was saying or doing anymore. Max was a little zombie—not saying a word, just clutching my fingers and trailing behind.

“But Daddy!” I whined right back. “Look, you stayed up late, you wore these pretty dresses, and had a great time. You made me very proud to be your daddy tonight, but now it’s time for bed. You get a special babysitter and a brand new movie. How great is that?”

She kept frowning, but the whining stopped. Yeah, she wanted to stay up but she also wanted the movie. And the babysitter. She was at the age where she thought any time without her parents was freedom, even when it was exactly the same.

“What movie are we watching?”

I tried not to laugh at the excitement in her voice. Miserable to happy in two seconds flat. Tired kids were so easy to manage when you knew their weaknesses.

I handed them off to one of the teenaged daughters of my cousin Susan. She’d been playing with the girls all day and had excitedly accepted the job as babysitter for the evening. According to Susan she was kid crazy and had a small army of kids she babysat regularly back home.

Max was asleep before the movie started, so I left with full confidence my daughters were in good hands for the next few hours, which meant some quality adult time with Eve, in a dress that was equal parts classic and sexy as hell. Our earlier shenanigans had sparked a lot between us, some of it I hadn’t even realized was missing, and I was anxious for a repeat performance.

She always laughed because really good sex made me want more while she felt satisfied. We had different reactions but we made it work, and if I played my cards right Eve would be just as hopeful for more as I was.

That’s when I heard voices from the darkened hallway at the bottom of the stairs. The engagement party was outside but a few people were milling in and out of the house. These voices didn’t sound happy, though, and as I moved toward them I realized it was a very angry Adam.

“If you even speak to her, I’ll end you,” he hissed.

Another male voice laughed. “For speaking to her? You can’t be serious.”

I paused and waited to see what happened next.

“Oh, I’m dead serious. I don’t care how well you knew her back then and I don’t give a fuck what you think you know. She’s done with it all and the only reason she’s here is because we all promised to leave Hollywood at the door.”

The edge to Adam’s voice put me on edge and I immediately went on the defensive, ready to lend a hand if he needed backup.

“I think Elizabeth can speak for herself,” the man replied.

“She can,” Adam agreed, “but she shouldn’t have to remind you what you’ve already agreed to.”

“So you’re doing that?” he laughed again.

I didn’t know who the asshole giving Elizabeth a hard time was, but I didn’t like him. I stepped out of the shadows. “Hey Adam, who’s this?”

Adam didn’t move a muscle, but the other man turned his attention to me. “Rupert Price. I’m engaged to Sophia McKinley.”

I’d quickly learned that the only thing the McKinley’s liked as much as politics was Hollywood. Several cousins, aunts, and uncles were either married to, or dating, movie stars or rock stars, and Rupert Price was a fairly well known actor.

“Well, Rupert,” I drawled, “I couldn’t help but notice you’re pissing off my cousin.”

Adam still hadn’t moved. “Rupert was just leaving.”

Rupert shot him a look and shoved his hands into his pockets. “We were just clearing the air about some boundaries. No need to throw me out of a party.”

I didn’t know the details, but Elizabeth had put her Hollywood life behind her and one of the reasons she and Adam rarely came to visit the Senator was because of her desire to stay out of the spotlight. I put the pieces together pretty fast: one very pissed off fiancé and an actor in a dark hallway most likely meant that Rupert had starred with Elizabeth years ago, probably when they were both teenagers.

And Rupert here was sounding a lot like he wanted to talk glory days with the lady of honor, despite her wishes. If I were Adam I’d have already laid the jerk out.

So I shrugged my shoulders and moved to stand beside Adam. Together we were an intimidating pair. I didn’t like violence for obvious reasons, but I always appreciated the fact that my size combined with a scary-as-fuck look could make most men second-guess their decisions.

“Well,” I said, “considering this is his party for his engagement, I’m pretty sure he can throw your sorry ass out if he wants to.”

Rupert blinked. “Fine,” he spit out, “have it your way, but you can’t do this forever.” Then he pushed his way out of the hallway and down into the far wing.

We stood there for a few beats.

“Thank you,” Adam finally said, his voice low. “I know she’ll always be a star to some of these people but I can’t put up with this shit…”

“You don’t have to explain it to me,” I said, clapping him on the back. “Parties make people forget their manners.”

“It’s frustrating,” his jaw ticked, still visibly upset. “We’re happy, going about our lives, fucking celebrating, and the shit we keep trying to leave in the past shows up anyway. This is why we live as far away as we can get.”

A small jolt of jealously shot through me. Adam and Elizabeth didn’t have to live with the past like I did. I moved right back into it—just a few miles away. But then again, my issues were different than hers.

“Parties also have a way of making time irrelevant,” I murmured. As much as I was secretly hoping to slink away with Eve for some fun, I knew I’d be doused in a heavy dose of questions about my past before I could escape.

“Thanks for having my back.”

We shook hands. “Anytime.”

“We’re kind of scary looking when we stand together like that.” Adam grinned.

“Our genes are good for that, if nothing else,” I agreed. Even if the rest of my family turned out to be a mess, I was pretty sure Adam and I would stay friends forever. Even from across an ocean.

8

EVE

Adam and Elizabeth’s engagement party was lovely, even if it was a little intense. It was just family, but that still accounted for a hundred guests under twinkle lights on the back lawn. A duo played live music, endless seafood covered tables on the porch, and a full bar with two bartenders was pouring drinks in the corner.

The girls had gone to sleep an hour ago and one of the older cousins was watching a movie in their bed while babysitting. Jake was having a great time laughing and trading stories, but I was on overload, so I decided to steal away to a dark set of chairs off to the side of the action and catch my breath.

So of course I was only alone for a moment.

“You found my spot,” Elizabeth laughed as she dropped onto the chair beside me.

At least she was safe. I didn’t mind sharing my quiet time with her one little bit.

“This party is for you. I don’t think you’re supposed to hide,” I teased.

She laughed as she slouched down in the chair and kicked off her heels. “Ha! This party is for the Senator. No one will even notice I’m missing.”

The more time I spent with Elizabeth, the more I liked her. She was introverted, like me, but social and outgoing. An extroverted introvert. “Are you enjoying yourself?”

She shrugged. “I’m ready to get home. This isn’t my life and I have students waiting.” Elizabeth taught at Oxford now that she’d moved to England with Adam.

“Do you like teaching? Jake loves it.”

“I do, but it’s intense and can be pretty stressful.”

I could see how being a full-time professor could be a lot more work than the one class a semester Jake taught. “So is this it for you and Adam? A wedding and happily ever after with Team Mercedes and Oxford?”

She sighed one of those contented happy sighs you expect from someone on the cusp of wedded bliss. “For a little while. We have a ten year plan.”

“Oh yeah? Spill it.”

She grinned. “We just bought a house. It’s almost dead center between Brackley and Oxford. It’s a dilapidated piece of shit.”

That didn’t sound good, and yet she said it like it was the best thing in the world. “Congratulations?”

“The team is in their prime and Adam is working constantly. I’m new in my position so I’m working my ass off to make a mark and show them I’m worth all the effort they put into wooing me over. We love our jobs, but we have other dreams.”

“And a dilapidated piece of shit is that dream?” I guessed.

“Yes. Eventually we want to slow down. A little. And have more freedom than our current schedules allow. We’d like to travel more. Sleep more.”

“You don’t have to tell me about needing more sleep,” I groaned. Even with two pretty amazing kids who’d been decent sleepers, Jake and I were dead on our feet. Parenting was exhausting.

She gave me a sympathetic smile. “Sam and Max are totally worth the exhaustion. You have great kids, Eve.”

“Thank you.”

“So Adam’s an engineer and I’m in historic preservation, but our two totally different worlds actually kind of meet in the middle. He loves restoring old cars, and some of those projects he upgrades into completely modern machines with computers and gadgets and all the energy efficient mumbo jumbo in the world.”

“The same thing you do with houses,” I guessed.

“Exactly. So this piece of shit in the middle of nowhere is our dream house. I’m going to turn it into my showpiece—restore all the historic features, but upgrade the hell out of it. It will be modern, tech friendly, and energy efficient. There’s this amazing barn-thing on the property that we’ll renovate into a garage for Adam to restore his cars.”

Suddenly Adam and Elizabeth seemed a lot more like our lost soul mates than cousins. “You’ve seen Jake’s Orange Beast?”

“Adam hasn’t stopped talking about it,” she smiled.

“And of course our house.”

“I hung on every word of the tour of both your house and your sister’s. Did you do the renovations yourself?”

Pride surged through my veins. “June’s house, yes. It was our grandparent’s, then my mom’s, then mine when I started college. After I graduated I got to work. It was my therapy during the lost years.” Memories of love and regret were molded into so much of that house. I could still walk into some rooms and see twenty-year-old me growing into an adult, falling in love with Jake.

There were other things too, like the wood moldings in my library where I always felt that pang of sadness. I was in a really long, heartbroken stretch when I’d worked my way through building those bookcases one by one, staining and sealing them.

And don’t even get me started on the tile in the guest bathroom. I rarely looked at that because the emotional tide was too much.

“And your new house?” she asked.

“No,” I shook my head. “It was a lot worse off and we wanted to expand. Add in two busy careers and couple of babies...we hired a contractor for that.”

She nodded. “Your houses are right up my alley. That blend of old and new. Eventually we both want to dial back. Adam will stay on with the team as a consultant. I would love to be a visiting professor, or something more like what Jake does, just teaching one class a semester. Adam will build cars for his fancy clients and I’ll do houses with my best friend, Allison.”

“And her fiancé?”

“Theo? He’s all about spending more time working on his projects and less time managing companies. Plus, we get the added benefit of his brain. His company already designs energy efficient stuff. All we have to do is ask and his lab makes it happen.”

“Jake’s really good with materials if you ever need a different brain to tackle something.”

Elizabeth leaned forward, a wicked gleam in her eyes. “You’ve done a renovation, he’s good with materials…any chance we could convince you to move across the pond and join our grand adventure in ten years?”

I’m not going to lie, I thought about it for a few seconds. In ten years the girls would be in high school and Jake and I would be staring down the barrel of being just the two of us again. “I’m not sure we’ll be pulling up stakes—I do quite like my job—however I am absolutely positive we’ll come visit.”

“An acceptable answer for now. I have plenty of time to wear you down.”

A comfortable silence settled between us and I felt my tension slip away. “Do you and Adam want kids?”

“Honestly? No,” she sighed. “We haven’t officially decided or set anything in stone but,” her voice trailed away and I could see her staring up at the sky. “I love kids but I don’t want to raise children. I don’t have a burning desire to be a mother and Adam and I both have other dreams. I’m the world’s best aunt though. I can feel it in my bones.”

Of that I was absolutely sure. “No judgment from me. I’m in the exhausted stage of parenting and people keep telling me it never ends, so…”

She laughed. “But totally worth it if raising kids is your thing.”

“Yeah.” I smiled, thinking of those sloppy kisses and late nights with a kid burrowed into my side. I was tired, but I loved watching a little person learn and grow.

“Any more on your radar?” she asked as delicately as I’d asked her about kids.

“Nope. Not exactly. We’ve fostered a couple of kids in the past and provided respite care for other foster families. I’m almost positive we’ll be doing one or both again one day.”

“Really? You fostered kids?”

I shrugged. “Mostly older kids. Jake loves it.”

“And you? Do you love it?”

Answering honestly always made me feel like a selfish asshole. “I don’t love it the way Jake does. For him, it fills this constant need to make sure no one else lives through what he lived through. He wants to be there for kids in a way that no one was ever there for him.” I loved that he saw the world through such a big lens.

“That makes sense,” she said quietly.

“But I have two little kids at home and they take my attention. I get anxious about not being enough for everyone. These kids aren’t a side project. If they come to our home they deserve everything. So if and when we open our doors again, I need to know I can handle it.”

It was my turn to pause and stare up at the stars. “It’s hardest during spring training and playoffs. We run a carefully balanced schedule as it is, but those two times of year really strain everything. Throw a new kid into the mix and I become a basket case. And that feels wrong, you know?”

“I can totally see that,” she reassured me. “You’re just trying to do your best. We all have doubts and anxiety about how to do that. Is that why you do respite care?”

I nodded. “We just have these kids for a weekend, or maybe a week, while their regular family gets some time to catch-up. We get a chance to be part of so many kids’ lives that way, but without the constant responsibility. It’s a good blend for our lives at the moment.”

I jumped as someone gasped behind me. When I twisted around I found Rose.

“Sorry to interrupt your conversation,” she said tentatively, taking a few steps towards us. She looked upset. Really upset.

“Nonsense,” Elizabeth said waving her over. “Come sit and talk with us.”

She sat, but if anything, she was getting more upset by the moment.

“Can I get you anything, Rose? A drink of water?”

She waved me off. “You and Jake…did I hear you say that you foster kids…” her voice trailed away and then she took a deep breath. “Because of what he lived through?”

“Yes,” I said slowly, panicking that this conversation was happening without Jake. When I’d told him about my breakfast with Rose he’d been receptive to the idea of her talking to me, but he’d also been hurt. I had hoped they’d have a chance to talk in the morning.

Maybe I could still push her off. “You and Jake should have breakfast. Alone. You can ask him about everything then.”

But she shook her head and I couldn’t get over the look of panic in her eyes. What was up with that? “How bad was it?” she demanded.

“It’s not my story to tell.”

She glared at me, which was something I didn’t expect from Rose. Quite frankly I didn’t think she had it in her, plus it was bad manners. But there it was, a death stare equal to anything I could throw out there. I was actually kind of impressed.

“Look, Eve. I understand that I’ve completely and utterly failed at being a mother and grandmother. I allowed myself to be kept in the dark because it was easier. That was a mistake…I wasn’t strong enough then, but the thing is, that saying? What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger? It’s true. And I’m a hell of a lot stronger than I used to be.”

Her stock kept rising in my eyes, but it still didn’t make me any less angry. And poor Elizabeth was stuck there beside us with her mouth hanging open, unable to leave.

“I understand what you’re saying, Rose,” I sighed. “But you ignored reality for the last thirty seven years, I think you can wait a few more hours.”

“Tell me what happened to my grandson or so help me, I will walk straight into that party and start asking questions.”

I stared at her in shock as a feeling of dread took hold of me. Something was going on—something was driving her need to know now, not in the morning.

“Oh, Rose…Please tell me you didn’t—” Elizabeth gasped.

She glared at Elizabeth. “I need to know. Now.”

I snapped. “Do you really not know that Jake Sr. beat the crap out of Jake? That Lydia watched it all happen? Encouraged it like some sort of twisted psychopath. That they brainwashed and twisted him up so tight that there wasn’t a world outside of their house? You can’t be that naïve.” If she knew her daughter, knew the man she married, then nothing I said could be that much of a surprise. It just couldn’t.

And damn did it feel good to see the devastated look on Rose’s face. All the way up until she looked like she was going to lose her dinner. “Oh my god,” she gasped and spun on her heel, running full speed up to the house.

I hadn’t expected that reaction.

“What the hell was that?” I asked.

Elizabeth grabbed my arm and started pulling me back toward the party. Hard.

“You need to get Jake. You need to get out of here. Now.”

What? “Why?”

“We told them not to invite her, but they clearly didn’t listen to our advice,” she muttered. “His mom is here. They invited her up for a nice, big, oblivious family reunion.”

I stopped dead in my tracks as I tried to process what Elizabeth had just said. “Lydia is here? Jake’s mom is here?”

She nodded. “Or on her way. I’m not sure which.”

I stared at her. I was speechless.

She shook her head. “I don’t have the answers you need. They are oblivious to how cruel some people can be—even their own daughter. I am so sorry, Eve. Get him out of here while you still can.”

I didn’t hesitate for a second. I broke out in an actual run, kicking my heels into the bushes as I took off in the direction I’d last seen my husband, but he wasn’t there. I looked frantically around, pushing confused cousins out of my way, then I finally saw him laughing with Adam next to the bar.

I had just enough time to memorize exactly how happy he looked. His green eyes were light, his cheeks flush with what was probably a mellow buzz from the whiskey in his hand. He’d chosen to wear a relaxed white dress shirt and grey slacks. The sleeves were rolled and the collar was open. He was tall and gorgeous and perfect. And these horrible people were about to ruin everything he’d worked so hard to build.

“Come with me,” I gasped as I practically fell into his arms.

He shoved his glass into Adam’s hands and held me up. “The girls?”

“No, not the girls. Don’t ask questions, just come with me,” I hissed, trying to yank him toward the side door, but the man was immovable when he wanted to be.

“Eve, you’re scaring me.” The terror in his eyes cut straight through me. I didn’t want to scare him, but I also didn’t have time for explanations.

I closed my eyes and steeled myself. “Jake, just trust me. Nothing will be wrong if we can get upstairs and close the damn door.” Elizabeth would make sure Lydia was gone or hidden or whatever the fuck needed to happen to keep these two from seeing each other. She was the one person who understood why this mattered and she would take care of it. I knew she would.

“Babe?”

“Please?” I pleaded, pulling him toward the door again. This time he gave way and took a few steps. “Please just trust me.”

He shot a worried glance at Adam, and to my complete surprise the man nodded. “I’ve got your back. Whatever it is, we’ll handle it.”

Jake pushed me toward the door, then moved ahead of me, yanking it open. “Our room?”

I nodded and we took off up the stairs. We scared Chloe when we burst in the door. Jake ducked into the girl’s room to double check that they were fine, then he pushed Chloe out with a frantic thank you.

He spun around. “What the hell is going on?”

I sank down onto the bed. How did I tell Jake his mother was here? I still hadn’t gotten it straight in my own head. “Just give me a second.” There had to be a right way to say this—some way to soften the blow.

Jake raked his hand through his hair, then pulled his wildly vibrating phone out of his pocket. His eyes went wide as he looked at the screen. “Lydia’s here?”

Shit. The color drained from my face. I nodded. “Yes. Is that Charlie?” Of course his private investigator would have put two and two together and messaged Jake. I should have just blurted it out. Now instead of hearing it from me, he got it in a cold message from someone he paid.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Jake would draw an instant connection between my silence and her manipulation. It wasn’t the same and it wasn’t fair, but that’s what happened when you had a pile of steaming shit in your past.

“I don’t understand…” his voice trailed away as he stared at me, looking for answers I didn’t have.

Why on earth would the Senator or Rose invite Jake’s mother without saying anything to us? Without asking, or consulting, or anything? Didn’t they understand?

No, obviously they didn’t. This was their world and we were just pieces in a game we didn’t know the rules to.

“We should go,” I whispered.

He nodded. “The girls are asleep.”

“They won’t mind.” I threw myself into his arms. I wanted to smother him in a thousand kisses. Smother him so he couldn’t breathe in any of this toxic air.

“I can’t see her, Eve,” he mumbled into my hair.

“I know. And I don’t want to see your grandparents. I might kill them if I do.”

He squeezed me tighter.

“Is she really here?” he asked. “Why? Why would she come? Why did they ask?”

I would give anything for answers. “She came for the drama, babe. She came to feed on the drama. So we’re leaving before she can suck anything else out of us.”

9

EVE

One week later…

I sat on the modern grey sofa across from Jennie in her office like a patient. Okay, so I was asking her professional opinion, and maybe that kind of sort of made me a little bit like a client, but it still felt like a weird dynamic shift in our relationship. Normally when I wanted her advice she came over, we sat on the back porch, and mojitos were consumed.

But not anymore.

Actually those days had been gone for about six years. From the moment I got pregnant with Sam, one or both of us had been knocked up. At first we replaced alcohol with expensive chocolate—a totally awesome substitute—but eventually exhaustion and crazy schedules took relaxed, quiet evenings pouring out our hearts off the table.

Now I either squeezed into her office, or she squeezed into mine. Being friends during working hours seemed to be the only alone time we could get. We had a standing bi-weekly date for sushi and manicures (or a movie) but neither of us ever felt comfortable going deep into personal issues with strange sets of prying eyes and ears hanging on our every word.

So here I was, on her couch where her client’s parent’s normally sat, nervously drumming my fingers and staring at the mostly closed blinds. “He’s distant,” I sighed. “He’s in his head.”

“Has he been to see Phyllis?”

Phyllis was his new therapist. Jennie knew her pretty well, so she always referred to her by her first name, which of course always threw me for a loop because to us she was Dr. Scalzo.

“Twice already. That’s bad right?”

Jennie smiled and shook her head, her blonde ponytail swishing behind her. “No, that’s good. It sounds like he has a lot to unpack and he wants to do it fast.”

“Too fast?”

Jennie sighed. “Two appointments in a week is not too fast with the kind of crap he’s dealing with.”

I slumped back against the cushion. She was right. I knew she was right, but it didn’t freak me out any less. “I’m talking to you because he’s not talking to me.”

“And that’s why you’re scared.”

I winced, but she was right. I was scared silly. Jake pulling away from me and keeping his thoughts to himself had never led anywhere good.

“How do I get him to start moving those stubborn lips of his?”

“You don’t.”

I gave her a pained expression. “That is not the advice I’m looking for.”

She shrugged. “Suck it up buttercup. He will talk when he’s ready to talk. He’s talking to his therapist, that needs to be enough for right now.”

“When should I worry?” It had been a long, long time since I was this worked up over Jake’s wellbeing.

Jennie was quiet and when I looked over, my eyes collided with hers. “Can I stop being a professional right now and just be your best friend?”

“Please.” I needed less logic and more commiserating.

“This is fucked up. I’m worried. I’m worried about him, but I’m also worried about you. You’re so focused on him that you’re ignoring yourself.”

“Huh?”

She slid forward to the edge of her chair and leaned onto her elbows. “We both know traveling with kids is stressful enough for a month of therapy right there.”

“True.” Jennie’s kids did not travel as well as mine did, but it was still so hard. So much work no matter how good or wild your kids behave in constricted social situations.

“Then you added in visiting family—estranged family—family that is still keeping secrets from you both. And then they betrayed you.” She folded her hands together. “Not just Jake. You. And the girls.”

My shoulders slumped. She was right. I was completely ignoring everything I was feeling and hiding behind Jake. “I’m so mad at them I could scream.”

With everything they’d already done, how had they thought more lies and secrets would be a good idea? Or maybe that was the only way they knew how to do anything. Either way, I was pissed and wanted nothing to do with them ever again.

“You should be mad. That was seriously insane.” Jennie was basically giving me permission to rant and throwing a little gasoline on the fire to make sure I burned good and long.

She was such a good friend.

“I don’t even know what to do. I want to exact some sort of retribution, but I can’t. What on earth would I do?”

We named a half dozen ridiculous and totally illegal things, then I sighed. “Yeah, I feel a little bit better now.”

She smiled. “Good. I do to.”

“You weren’t there.”

“Solidarity, my sister. Solidarity.”

I had the best friends a girl could ever ask for. “I want to have everyone over for dinner, but I think Jake needs a little more time before I smother him with love.”

“I have a crazy couple of weeks anyway. How about a month from now?”

I whipped out my phone and tentative plans were arranged. I sent calendar invites to Greg and Jake, and instantly got their acceptance. “Looks like we’re on.”

“It will be good,” she reassured me. “Give him time, do whatever it is you do, then we’ll all come together as a family and set everything right.”

Family. Our real family. The one we’d created with these wonderful people.

I gave her one more squeeze, double checked our plan for manicures, then kissed her belly. “I will see you in three months, Eve.”

“Her name is not going to be Eve.”

“Andrew agrees with me. You had your shot with daughter number one, don’t fail me a second time.”

In all fairness, Megan was named after Andrew’s mother. That was the beautiful and correct thing to do. But now the fun and games were over. Aunt Eve needed a namesake.

She pushed me out the door. “Go away you crazy ego maniac. I will name my daughter something beautiful and feminine. Like Sawyer.” And now she was teasing me about our unconventional name choices for our girls.

“I think that’s perfect. Goodbye Sawyer!”

Jennie glared at me. “Out!”

* * *

I was more than a little bit shocked when the mysterious end of day meeting Josh had suddenly booked me into turned out to be Jake.

“Mrs. Spencer, I believe I’m your three o’clock?” Jake grinned as he leaned up against my open door. His hands were shoved into his suit pants while his jacket and shirt were both open as if he’d lazily loosened everything after a particularly trying day of meetings.

It took my brain one…two…three seconds to fully digest everything. Then it hit me at all once. Jake was my mysterious appointment. And, since I seemed incapable of speech, I pushed back from my desk and wrapped him up in a hug.

He sighed and enveloped me in his strong arms, dropping a soft kiss on the top of my head. “It’s been too long since I’ve done this.”

“It’s been forever.” I didn’t mean for it to sound condescending, more like longing, and I froze while I waited to see how Jake took it.

“I figured that since I’ve been zoned out for a while, now was a good time to start it back up.”

I relaxed and nodded. “I like it. Come in.”

He closed my door with his foot, not letting me go. Instead we made out right where we were. “Can we move to the desk?”

I smiled up at him, pulling him over to where my large wood desk sat in the middle of my large office. I’d moved twice in the last few years, but the desk always came with me. I told everyone else it was because I hated change and liked my desk just the way it was, but that wasn’t the real reason. My attachment to the desk was sentimental. Jake and I had made up there, and there, and there. There three times.

“I think about that first orgasm every single time I look at this desk,” he whispered in my ear.

I shivered. “Me too.” The image of Jake behind me desperately sucking and…wow…I needed to banish those thoughts during working hours immediately.

He sat on the edge and pulled me between his thighs. “I’m sorry I’ve been distant.”

“It’s okay, you’ve got a lot to sort through. I just wish you’d let me in a little.”

He nodded slowly. “I know. I can see the hurt in your eyes. I feel like an ass.”

“Don’t,” I sighed. “That’s not what I’m thinking. I just want to make you happy and if I don’t know exactly what’s going on up here,” I ran my index finger along his brow, “then I’m fighting blind.”

“I’m trying it’s just—” he leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling. “I don’t even know what I’m thinking or feeling half the time, so I don’t know how to share it with you.”

“You’re like one of those giant super computers churning a metric ton of data.”

That got a chuckle out of him. “You’re not wrong. Dr. Scalzo said I’m still processing and I’m locked in a loop, going over the same data over and over trying to make sense of it.”

“And talking to me won’t help because you haven’t sorted it enough to have anything to say.” I was back to feeling helpless.

He kissed my forehead. “I’m angry. Angrier than I’ve been since I came back stateside. I don’t like it.”

Anger was one of the major reasons he’d left me for so long. I couldn’t admit it to myself, but hearing that terrified me. This was exactly the kind of thing I’d always worried would take Jake away from me again.

“You should be angry,” I said slowly, choosing my words carefully. “You have every right to be angry—I want you to know that. And I think fighting it, trying to be not angry, is exactly what will make you explode.”

He was looking down now, so I leaned forward to rest my forehead against his, connecting us even more. We stood like that for a minute or two, feeding off the energy surging between us.

“I don’t know which is more dangerous, Eve. Letting it out or keeping it in. I don’t want to hurt you or the girls.”

I think my heart broke a little. “I know you hate yourself when you let the anger win. I read your journals, remember?” He nodded. “But keeping it in is going to be a thousand times worse.”

I could see the internal fight taking place inside Jake. The boiling anger he was so afraid of mixed with the loathing he felt for the man-child who’d run to the other side of the world. He’d come to peace with his past, but now that the past had come storming back into his life, the peace was over.

“What do I do?” he whispered.

That was the problem. I didn’t have a clue.

10

JAKE

Jake’s Journal

When your father dies you’re supposed to feel something. That’s human nature.

I don’t feel human anymore.

I don’t feel anything. And the things I do think I feel are so terrifying to me I can’t allow them to exist. Fuck. I’m so screwed up. Even from the damn grave that man has the power to skew my reality and make me question everything I think I know.

When I got the news it was like someone attached a vacuum to my heart and sucked everything out. I’m empty inside—so empty it feels like my skin is going to collapse in and I’ll be crushed into a ball of nothingness.

It reminds me a lot of the night of our college graduation. I think that was the night I picked my reality once and for all. In choosing one, I had to destroy the other. I’d come to terms with the fact that my dad had brainwashed me, and my life with Eve was more real and a hell of a lot healthier than anything I’d ever known before, but two worlds can’t exist in the same universe. As long as I was in college they both just sort of phased in and out. That night they collided and if I didn’t pick one, they’d destroy each other…leaving me with nothing.

The choice was so easy. Eve. Always Eve.

But once I got started, I couldn’t stop. Instinct took over. I had to destroy the world my dad created. It was the most out of control and inhuman thing I’d ever felt. When it was done, I was empty.

So fucking empty.

I didn’t know who I was—terrified I’d do to Eve what my dad had done to me—because I didn’t know. I didn’t know anything. I wasn’t sure I was real.

How I feel right now is pretty fucking close to that. Am I real? Am I human? How can my father be dead and I feel nothing except something I refuse to put into words. In my head it does not matter that my father was a controlling, manipulative, physical abuser and mental manipulator. It doesn’t matter that he used me as his toy. My brain and my humanity are telling me I’m supposed to feel things I don’t feel. He used to tell me I wasn’t good enough for anyone—that I wasn’t fit for the world.

That’s exactly how I feel right now.

“And the hydraulics can handle salt water?” Greg asked the design team at our afternoon meeting. We were reviewing a new system to help control temporary flooding.

“These are designed to be a short term solution, not a permanent one. Yes, they can handle the salt water,” Ron said.

“Excellent. Move ahead with the prototype. I’d like to have it tested and in production before hurricane season.” Greg pushed back from the table, effectively ending the meeting. He cornered me before I could escape. “My office. Now.”

I’d been waiting for this. He’d been watching me for weeks, but not saying anything. The disastrous dinner party last month had been the final straw. Apparently being a grumpy jerk to your friends and wife was grounds for an ass kicking from Greg.

And honestly? I was looking forward to it. I wanted him to tell me what a low life I’d become. I knew it was bad that I wanted the punishment, but even I could see I was in an out of control spiral and was probably weeks away from achieving lost cause status.

He shut the door firmly, but didn’t slam it. That was a good sign.

“You’re a fucking idiot.”

Never mind. I sat on the small couch he kept along the wall, clasped my hands, and waited for more.

Instead he stared at me for a good long while.

“Seriously,” he threw his hands up. “You’re literally going to sit there and take it?”

I shrugged. “You’re not wrong.”

“Fuck!” he leaned back and groaned. “This is so much worse than I thought it was.”

At least we were both in agreement on that. “The last thing I ever wanted was to give my mother the satisfaction of knowing she’d fucked me over one last time—fucked Eve over, too—but here we are. She got to me…just by accepting their invitation.”

“And now you’re beating yourself up over the fact that you let her get to you? That’s fucked up, dude.”

“What am I supposed to do?” I yelled. “She did get to me. I should have been stronger than this.”

Greg stared at me, eyes wide, mouth hanging open like some sort of carnival clown. “You may be an idiot. And you damn well may be a jack-off. But weak? I’m gonna have to knock your ass out for even thinking it.”

Didn’t he get it? All that work…all those years was washed away in a single moment. All it took was my mother and her family being oblivious to reality. I should be able to forgive and forget the Senator’s selfish stupidity, but I couldn’t. I was stuck being angry that despite everything, they still didn’t get it.

And my mother? She hadn’t flown to Maine for a family reunion with her estranged parents. Any lingering hope I’d had for that had been obliterated when Adam called to check in on me. He detailed the smugness with which my dear mother relished the news that Eve and I had taken the kids and left the moment we heard she was coming. She barely paid any attention to the Senator or Rose except to toss them a few insults she’d probably been storing up for a few decades, ate as much food as she could, and left. They discovered later that she’d stolen a gold knickknack from the front hall where the security cameras were always on.

So yeah. She’d come for one reason and one reason only: to get to me. And I’d let her.

I wanted to explode. I was angry all the time, but any time I let my thoughts linger on my mother, it became unbearable. As if I was going to go thermonuclear like some kind of comic book super villain.

“I am so…angry.” It felt good to say that out loud to someone other than my therapist.

“And being angry makes you feel weak?” he asked.

I shook my head. “Yes and no. I just…I don’t feel like me. And that scares me.”

He thought about that for a minute. “And Eve? You’ve never been so distant. Is that because of all this?”

I nodded. “Yeah, but we talked yesterday. She wants me to get angry.”

“Let it the hell out, man. You’re headed towards an explosion of epic proportions the way you’re going right now.”

But I still had the same problem I had yesterday. “I don’t know how.”

Greg laughed. “Now that is something I can actually help you with. Give me a few days and I’ll make some plans. Think you can get through Thanksgiving as a decent human being?”

I grunted. “I’ll certainly give it a shot.” I owed my very understanding family that much.

* * *

We didn’t celebrate much of anything growing up, so I was always a bit taken with the magic of the holidays in our house. Eve was in the off-season so the holidays had become her obsession. She went all out. She’d enjoyed holidays before, but after we got married she went into overdrive. I think it was because of me—like she was making up for every single one I missed.

It made my chest ache with a lot of overwhelming feelings; mostly because I was secretly a great big giant kid. But not this year. I think she’d hoped the holidays would make things better, but I caught her worried glances out of the corner of my eye when she thought I wasn’t looking.

And while I was a heck of a lot more mellow than usual, I wasn’t necessarily miserably unhappy either. Not like I’d been. Talking to Eve and Greg had been a good first step on the path back to normal. I didn’t feel quite so handcuffed by my emotions.

So on my mission to enjoy the Thanksgiving holiday with my family, I was observing. I didn’t have the energy or desire to bounce off the walls stealing pieces of pie and sneaking the girls gifts like I usually did, but I had time to take it all in.

Really take it all in. All the things I usually missed because I was too busy having fun.

For instance, I never noticed the way Eve hums when she’s cooking a feast. She doesn’t do it when she’s slapping together a meal in the kitchen. Maybe it was the extra courses, but I was pretty sure it was the energy of it all. It put her in a different plane of happiness. Friends, family, food, late nights, and fun. She loved it, and it showed in the songs she hummed under her breath.

I took a sip of my sweet tea and leaned back. From where I was sitting I could see it all. Eve in the kitchen, Max playing with June in the living room, and Sam sprawled out under her reading tent in the yard.

Sam had taken to reading like a moth to a flame and she barely needed our help anymore. Sometimes when she was stretched out with her book, like she was now, I could tell she wasn’t even really reading anymore. She’d been sucked in by the story and her mind was creating fantastic adventures under her tent.

It was November, so the bugs weren’t too terrible. I’d strung up a rope and Eve put a flowery bed sheet over it. We tied the sides out along the fence and a tree. Sam dragged out a quilt and laid it out like a picnic blanket, then made a second trip with a pillow and her favorite bear. She’d been just like that for an hour at least.

“Try these,” Eve held out a plate with a spoonful of sweet potato casserole, mashed potatoes, stuffing, green beans, and turkey.

“I’m the guinea pig this year?”

“You’re the guinea pig every year, dork.”

I smiled as I took the plate. “What if I don’t want to be the guinea pig anymore?”

She snatched back the plate. “Then I’ll find someone new!” She smiled and giggled, but the words hit me like a slap to the face.

I knew they shouldn’t. They were meant as a joke about food testing, and food testing had absolutely nothing to do with the rest of our lives, but sitting here realizing how completely out of control I’d been and how much I had at stake, that’s exactly what those words did—they took on a life of their own.

I’ll find someone new.

Like hell she would. Not for food or anything else. I took the plate and set it on the table beside me, then grabbed my wife and pulled her into my lap. Her eyes lit up and a smile curved her lips.

“Well hello there, husband,” she cooed. “Feeling possessive about your food?”

“More like you. I’m feeling possessive of you.”

Her eyes danced and her breathing hitched. “Well then…this is a nice change of pace. Happy Thanksgiving.”

“Indeed,” I said, and then kissed her. It was so easy. So natural. It was how we usually were. Why couldn’t I get back here and stay here?

Because really? Who wouldn’t prefer a sexy woman in his lap making all these noises and looking at him like he were the best thing that ever happened? Anyone would prefer this banter to the grumpy ass I’d been.

“I need to go,” she whispered into my kiss.

The kitchen timer was blaring.

“Fine, but I’d be okay if we let the house burn down.” Anything to stay in this moment a little longer. Maybe if I could make it last I could remember everything else and just stay happy.

She smiled. “I’ll be right back.”

I let her go, not that I liked it. I caught sight of Max in the living room with June. They had music playing and the long afternoon light was blasting through the sheer curtains that hung over our tall front windows. It lit her up from behind like some kind of angel. She reminded me of one of the fairies from Peter Pan—carefree and full of mischief as she played with her shadow that stretched out across the wood floor.

I only got to enjoy the innocence for a minute. The doorbell rang and everyone started pouring in. First Jennie and Andrew who were too pregnant to travel came in with their daughter, then Greg and Marie, and finally Josh and his wife.

“I hope you don’t mind, we brought a couple of orphans from the office with us,” Josh said, waving in a girl I recognized and a man I didn’t. He wasn’t very tall, but he was stocky and strong.

Like, hours in a gym strong.

I shook his hand and did what all men do when a strange man walked into their house. I sized the guy up. Tattoos under the sleeves, nice shoes, hair that was trying way too hard. I didn’t like him, but I was going to be polite.

“Come on in. Tracie, right?”

The woman nodded. She was closer to June’s age than ours, with long light brown hair and too much makeup. “This is my boyfriend Liam.”

Liam. That was a shame. I’d always liked the name and now it was kind of ruined.

I led everyone straight into the dining room where Eve was placing the last of the dishes on the large table. When she looked up I caught her eye and gave her a look to let her know I didn’t like Liam. She laughed then covered her mouth and put on her game face.

“I didn’t know you were coming, Tracie! It’s so good to see you.” She hugged the other woman. “And you brought Liam…”

And by the sound of her voice Eve not only knew Liam, but disliked him as much as I did.

“I hope we’re not imposing,” Tracie said.

Eve waved her off. “Grab a seat. Dinner is ready!”

There was the usual maneuvering and moving before everyone settled in. I took my spot at the head of the table, making sure the chair to my right was open for Eve. Greg stole Max and put her between him and Marie. Sam sat to my left with June on the other side. With this arrangement the girls would get time with their favorite people and let Eve sit for a few moments, not that she actually would.

At least not without all of us insisting.

“I’m here!” Eve sighed as she plopped into the seat. “Sam, start us off.”

My beautiful daughter stood up on her chair—thoroughly enjoying her moment in the spotlight, I might add—and smiled at the room.

“Thank you all for eating with us tonight. Before we start everyone needs to say one thing they are grateful for. I’ll start. I’m grateful for books!”

Then she hopped down and sat, looking expectantly at June, who laughed. The spotlight moved around the table until Eve declared it was time to eat.

“I’m thankful because you’re smiling again,” Eve said, leaning in to whisper in my ear.

I smiled as if she’d commanded me to do it with her words. “I’m trying, darlin’. I really am.”

“I know.” She squeezed my arm and went back to eating, but the lingering longing on her face was enough to make me realize I wasn’t trying nearly hard enough. Whatever Greg’s grand plan was to help me out, it had better be good. I was starting to get desperate for a solution. And desperate men did dumb things.

“So Eve, you’re still with the Rays?” Liam asked between bites. His enormous arms looked ridiculous. I mean, who actually needed arms that big. He was like a T-rex. Could he actually reach anything on the table?

“Yep, just like your girlfriend,” she said as she shoved a forkful of food in her mouth. I got the distinct impression it was because she wanted an excuse not to talk.

But Liam was oblivious. “Is your schedule lighter in the off season? I know Tracie’s is.”

She nodded and shoved another bite in her mouth.

I didn’t like this. Liam was bad news. So I interjected myself into the conversation like the possessive caveman I tried really hard not to be too often.

“So what is it that you do, Liam?”

He slowly dragged his gaze from Eve over to me, then raked his eyes up and down.

“I’m a trainer,” he said.

Of course he was. “Oh really? Do you work with a gym or are you freelance?”

“Both.”

“Liam teaches the classes I was telling you about. The ones that meet at the park,” Eve said. To Liam it probably sounded totally normal, but to anyone that really knew her, Eve was obviously giving a warning. Her smile was fake, her teeth were clenched, and she was doing weird things with her eyes.

I searched my brain and quickly remembered her telling me a story one night about a guy she didn’t trust because of the way he looked at the women he was training, but that her friend was dating him and she was in denial.

So Tracie was the friend and Liam was the creepy trainer.

“Ah, yes. The free sculpting classes at the park. I do remember you mentioning that.”

I gave her hand a squeeze and she squeezed back. Hard.

Which of course was the last straw. Every protective instinct I had went on red alert. It didn’t matter what else Liam said or what we ate for the rest of the meal. My eyes were on the guy who was giving us all the creeps.

I kept him pinned to the table, pretending I was actually interested in his work. Greg caught on pretty quickly and joined in. Between the two of us we kept Creepo away from everyone until the table was cleared.

“I really need the restroom and a new drink,” Creepo said.

“Here let me get that for you,” Greg offered, taking the glass and blocking his access to the kitchen.

“Thanks.”

I think Creepo was catching on to us, but I didn’t care. The minute the door closed on the bathroom Greg spun on me.

“The dude is skeevy as fuck, but you may want to dial it down a notch.”

I pointed at myself. “Me? What am I doing?”

His shoulders slumped. “You mean aside from the drilling you’re giving him?”

“Just want to get to know the guy,” I shrugged.

“Right…and it has nothing to do with the fact that Eve was giving you the crazy eyes at dinner. You think I don’t know how you two communicate?”

“Like you’re any different.” I sounded like I was ten. And, I had to admit I was acting a little bit like I was ten, too.

“Look, any guy Eve sends the flag up for, he’s on my radar. But this full court press you’ve got going? It’s borderline harassment. Dial it down.”

But I didn’t want to dial it down. Dialing things down hadn’t been working so great for me lately. Besides, it wasn’t like I cared whether Creepo liked me or not. In fact, I was pretty sure I wanted him to hate me.

“I have a plan to help you out,” Greg said, walking towards the kitchen, “and it does not involve beating someone to a pulp at Thanksgiving.”

Okay, so he had a point there. “Fine, I’ll dial it back.”

Which for me meant going back to normal. I checked on the kids. Max had passed out on the couch beside Jennie. Sam and Megan were playing with a castle in the corner. Andrew and Josh were trading stories on the porch. I was about to join them when I heard Eve’s voice rise up in the kitchen.

The hair on my arm stood straight up.

When I looked around the corner I found Eve on one side of the counter and Liam on the other side. She was glaring at him like she wanted to flay him alive.

“Just three classes a week and I could really help you get your pre-baby body back. Private classes are flexible if you can’t make it to the park,” Liam said.

Like hell. Flexible times my ass.

“I already told you I wasn’t interested,” Eve bit out. “And my body is absolutely none of your concern.”

“No, it most certainly is not,” I boomed, coming to stand beside Eve. I slipped my arm around her waist and pulled her flush against me. I needed to feel her, but more than that, I wanted to push her behind me and protect her from assholes like Liam. “That’s my job.”

I knew Eve rolled her eyes because I knew my wife and the way she was shaking her head, but I didn’t care. Jerk-offs like Liam wouldn’t stop until they were good and sure another man would be in their way. Call it a pissing contest or whatever else you wanted to, some guys were just that basic and dumb.

“I wasn’t talking about her in that way…” Liam’s attempt at covering up was lame at best.

“Yes you were. You were hoping she’d come to your class. You’d watch her, tell her how much work she needed, make her feel bad about her gorgeous body, until she agreed to a private lesson. You trick women into being alone with you by demeaning them. You’re disgusting and I don’t want you in my house for another minute.”

Liam blinked. “I didn’t say anything like that.”

“Yes, you did,” Eve sighed. “I have a bitchin’ body, thank you very much. No, I don’t look twenty anymore, but I’m healthy and sexy as fuck. Pre-baby body, my ass.”

I grinned like a fool. That sexy siren was my wife, ladies and gentlemen. “Exactly. So now, I’d like you to leave before I make you leave.”

It was at that unfortunate moment that Tracie walked into the kitchen looking as white as a sheet. “What’s happening in here?”

I knew how to handle assholes. I did not know how to handle women that weren’t named Eve. I looked at my wife.

She scrunched up her face. “Okay, I didn’t want to do this on Thanksgiving but…Liam is…he’s…he makes passes at women and he says really terrible things.”

Her mouth fell open. Liam turned purple he was so angry.

“They are lying, Tracie. We should go. Come on, baby.”

She stared at Liam, frozen in place, then slowly turned her eyes on Eve. “He asked you to take private lessons again?” her voice was barely more than a whisper.

Eve swallowed, then reluctantly nodded.

Again? I lunged for the asshole.

“Jake! Not here!” Eve yelled, but it was too late. My fist had already made contact with Creepo’s face, and once you open up a fight with a guy there are only two ways it can go. They either curl up or they fight back. And Liam fought back.

I hated that it excited me. It was like I was hoping for him to fight back to give me an excuse to fight someone. I think I’d wanted this for months but didn’t have anyone worthy. Who would I punch? Everyone in my life was wonderful and wonderfully understanding of what I was going through.

Actually, that was part of what I hated.

Everyone was great. Understanding. Sweet.

And that might seem like what I needed, but what I wanted was the opposite. I wanted everyone to be as angry as I was. I wanted them to be angry at me for being the loser. I wanted them to see me the way I saw me. It would validate everything. Make it simpler. My world would make sense again.

And maybe I wouldn’t feel so empty and wrong.

But that wasn’t what happened and now I was taking my frustrations out on a guy who probably deserved a few good punches, even if I was throwing them for the wrong reasons.

“Off,” Greg barked. He took me by the shoulder and shoved me off of Liam. Andrew placed himself between us, keeping Liam back.

Josh came around the corner, took one look at me and sighed. “Liam?”

“Did everyone know?” Tracie shrieked.

In our defense, she’d basically admitted that she already knew Liam was a scuzzy piece of shit when she said again. Burying her head in the sand couldn’t change what her boyfriend was.

“Yes,” Josh said smoothly. “And I strongly suggest you stay here with us. We’ll drive you home or you can stay with one of us if you think it’s safer.”

Liam spit blood on the floor—Eve was going to hate that. “Scared of me? If you leave me you won’t have to be scared of me. I won’t want you ever again.”

I lunged again. Creepo deserved another shot for making a jackass comment like that to a woman he supposedly loved. Greg pushed me back and rolled his eyes. “You really think I’m letting you past me?” Then he turned punched Liam square in the jaw. “Out. And never come back.

I was feeling pretty damn good about the whole thing. I’d protected my woman and her friend all while doing my duty as a man. Sure I’d gotten a little out of control and my motives were a little off, but damn did it all feel good.

“Loser,” Liam bit out as they pushed him past me. He spit more blood at my feet.

I stared at him until he was out of my sight, the word sinking all the way down to the scars left by the same word used by another useless man.

And that’s when it hit me: I’d lost control.

11

EVE

“It’s like living with a stranger. I don’t know this man.” It had been almost six months since our trip to Maine and I was sitting in my old kitchen—June’s kitchen now—letting out my frustrations over a cup of coffee while my kids tore apart the living room. June growing up and becoming my next-door neighbor—and frequent babysitter—had drawn us closer. In many ways she was wise beyond her years, plus she was my sister. It was nice that we could be brutally honest with each other.

“I’ve been walking on eggshells around him. I don’t want to be the reason he finally goes boom.” She made the hand motion of an explosion.

“Are you scared of him?” I asked tentatively.

“No,” she quickly assured me. “It’s just…his frustration is obvious. Plus, normally he’s happy and goofy. There’s usually a kid on his hip or dangling upside down from his arm. He’s a walking jungle gym.”

Yeah, that Jake hadn’t been around for months and didn’t seem to be anywhere on the horizon. It was starting to take its toll on everyone, including the girls, but I didn’t have the heart to tell him. I didn’t want him to add that guilt on top of the weight he was already carrying around.

“He’s definitely grumpy twenty-four, seven,” I agreed. “At Thanksgiving he was doing really well until…” He wouldn’t talk to me about it. A curtain had come down after his confrontation with Liam. He was worse than ever.

“Until the fight. That was so intense! Liam was weird but I didn’t expect Jake to lose it.”

I shrugged. “I wasn’t completely surprised. Jake does not like it when other men look at me like they know what I look like without my clothes on.”

June blinked a couple of times, then changed the subject. “Cassandra’s bringing the kids down next month for spring training.”

“Yeah, I’m excited that this is our new family tradition.”

“I just wish Mom and Dad’s house wasn’t so far out of the way. It would be the perfect place to lay low with all these munchkins.”

I’d had the same thought numerous times. Over the last few years we’d rented out several different options that put us squarely between our training in Port Charlotte and the Sox training in Fort Myers, where Cassandra’s husband Timothy was working. None had been perfect, but I had a really good feeling about the house we were trying this year.

Since Timothy and I were both in charge of fan experience for our respective teams, we started working down south well ahead of the scheduled games and our families came with us.

Okay, so now that I thought about it, the house was kind of a big deal.

“And Zoe is all set?” Zoe was our nanny. I hated calling her something so formal, but I didn’t know what other word fit what she did.

“She’s good to go. No worries.”

Zoe picked up the kids from school, fed and played with them until I got off work. She traveled with us when we were on the road for work, and filled in whenever else we needed a hand keeping the kids on schedule. She was a writer, so her schedule was flexible and she could work from anywhere. Our part-time nanny needs were perfect for her and she was perfect for us. She loved kids and preferred to have a steady paycheck so she didn’t have to worry about her publishing schedule quite so much.

June pouted for a moment. She had quickly jelled with the Rays training staff and was now almost as busy as I was, but she still missed being our go-to for help with the kids. It turns out my sister had a mildly jealous streak.

And I had a sneaking suspicion that had a lot to do with her epic breakup with her college sweetheart, but I’d never asked. She made it clear any mention of Roman was off limits.

“I suppose it makes sense since I don’t come until the team does and someone should watch the kids while we’re all working.”

I shook my head. She was a fireball. I didn’t know who I should be more sympathetic to: June or Roman. But then again, I’d never met her mystery man. None of us had.

A scream came from the other rooms and we both waited to hear what happened next.

“Should I go peek?” she whispered.

Since there still wasn’t any indication one way or the other I gave her a nod. She crept over to the doorway and poked her head just far enough through to see what was taking place.

She turned around covering her mouth, then waved me over. “You have to see this.”

I took her place and mimicked her exact motions. Both girls were sitting on the couch, eyes glued to the television, but that wasn’t the adorable part. They had their arms wrapped around each other as they watched.

So freaking cute.

We quietly returned to our posts at the counter. That’s when June hit me with what she’d been holding back.

“I’m worried about you.”

I grimaced. “You’re the second person to say that this week.” Her eyebrows rose in question. “Jennie called last night. What are you worried about?”

She fidgeted for a few seconds before shrugging. “Everything’s about Jake right now. We’re all walking on eggshells so we don’t upset him. I’m worried you’re getting sucked up into Jake-world.”

“And losing myself?”

She nodded. I reached over and patted her hand reassuringly. She may have grown up and become a good friend, but she was still years younger than me. There was a lot she didn’t yet understand about love.

“I’m not losing myself. Yes, we’re all giving Jake space to work through it and that means he’s the captain of this ship for a little while. Rearranging schedules and taking on the extra lifting is temporary. It’s marriage. Obviously you want everything to be balanced and fair, but life isn’t fair. The reality is that things go up and down. You give and you take depending on the shit you’re getting handed. The idea is that there are two of you so you spread it out and handle the load together.”

She worked to find her words, nibbling on her lower lip. “It’s just that before… when he left…”

Oh. Now I understood. “You were really young when he left.”

“He was still my brother as far as I was concerned.”

“He always will be, June.” I found one of the stools tucked under the counter and pulled it out, getting good and comfortable. “You were traveling the year after I had Sam, so you probably didn’t see what happened with my post-partum depression. It was bad, June. Really bad. I didn’t have control over how my body and my brain reacted to so much change and it rocked our world. Full stop. Jake dropped everything. He was Super Dad and Super Husband, even though I was a stranger to him in a lot of ways. The world revolved around my needs until I got through it. Jake’s schedule moved at my pace. He didn’t get sucked up in Eve-World—he took on the majority of our load while I couldn’t bear it.”

“And that’s what you’re doing now? Lightening his load, so to speak?”

“Yeah,” I smiled. “No one is perfect and everyone falls down at some point. Jake’s down, but he’s getting back up. I just gotta keep our little world spinning until he’s on solid ground.”

“Got it,” she said, still not looking quite satisfied.

So I went back to her earlier point even though I always found it impossibly hard to talk about the dark days when Jake left.

“I’m so lucky,” I said. “I have this whole tribe of people who care about me. You and Jennie have both checked in this week to make sure I’m okay. Jake didn’t have that in college. He had me. Just me.” I let that hang in the air for a minute while I swallowed down the lump that always formed in my throat when I talked about this. “No one cheered Jake on. No one made sure he went to class or aced his tests. I did that. I took care of him when he was sick. I sat with him after his dad beat the shit out of him. I loved him when no one else could. So, yeah, I took on a burden that was entirely too large to bear for one naïve college girl, and I tried to be everything Jake needed. It was too much.”

A tear slid down June’s cheek. “I love you both so much. I just want what’s best for you both.”

“I know,” I assured her. “He knows that, too. Now. He didn’t back then. He left me because he saw what was coming. I was ready to throw myself off a cliff to be what he needed. Luckily he found the answers he needed and came back to me. We’ll never have to worry about being in that position ever again—Jake having no one or me losing myself to try and save him—because he has this family now, too. He has me and the girls, but he also has you and Cassandra, Jennie and Andrew, Greg and Marie…he has people who check on him.”

She nodded faster, wiping away the tear. “I get it now. I totally get it.”

We changed the subject to lighter things after that, but in the back of my mind Jake lingered. Images of him struggling through the years. It had been a long, long time since something had hit him like this and he was taking it hard. As much as I wanted this to be something he could easily navigate with our added benefit of near-smothering love, I was afraid it was going to take more than either of us was ready to acknowledge.

* * *

It turns out my confidence in Jake was ill advised. Or at least overly optimistic. I’d so happily and easily taken on the role of support staff that I’d forgotten sometimes the best support is a swift kick in the ass.

It all devolved the week before I left for spring training. Jake came home late—again. It was something he’d never done before. Sure, he stayed late from time to time, especially when a big project was coming online or finishing up, but this was chronic. It was becoming a pattern. It felt an awful lot like he was avoiding coming home, and that was totally unacceptable.

So as I sat in bed reading a book, one ear out for a suddenly cranky-at-bedtime Max, and the other ear out for my husband who’d decided the only form of communication necessary was a text message, On the way home.

On the way home? On the way home? There weren’t enough question marks and exclamation points in the world to express how pissed off that one little text message made me. He hadn’t answered my calls, had barely spoken to me in days, and now this? He didn’t even bother with an x or a love you.

I grabbed my phone.

“Who’s sick?” Greg’s familiar voice barked through the speaker.

“No one,” I assured him. It had been a long time since I called him at night. Probably since Max was born. I wasn’t actually awake at night very often these days unless I was working. “I need to ask you a question.”

As if he could read my mind he said, “No, there is no fucking reason he needs be working this hard.”

Damn it. I sighed. “He’s still not home.”

Greg was quiet for a moment and it sounded like he was moving in bed, the sound of sheets against skin and the soft murmur of Marie’s voice in the background.

Shit, I was ruining his evening.

“He is working, Eve. Just so we’re clear on that.”

My heart beat a little faster. I hadn’t even realized that question was left unspoken in the back of my mind until Greg said the answer.

“That’s good to know.”

“Tough times call for clear answers,” he grumbled. “What I don’t know is why he’s so damned obsessed with work. It’s ruining my personal life, Eve. He’s never been like this. Not since…” his voice dropped away.

Not since the dark years of working his ass off on his uncle’s contract in the Middle East. Back when he was working through his issues and trying his hardest to forget he loved me.

Shit, shit, triple shit.

We were in deeper than I thought.

“Understood,” I finally said. “What is he doing, exactly? Just so I have an idea of what level of denial I’m working with here.”

There was more sighing and grumbling from Greg’s end of the line and I could picture his rough face pinched in frustration as he ran his fingers through his dirty blond hair. “Well, he’s spending way more time than usual on the prototype contract we’re developing. He usually lets everyone do their jobs, but not this time. He’s in everyone’s face, redoing everyone’s work, micromanaging to the n-th degree. I’ve had two managers threaten to quit if Jake won’t back off.”

The blood drained from my head. This was not like him at all. “Is he working on anything else right now?” I said a small prayer of thanks that he was off from teaching this semester.

Greg grumbled. “Yeah, he’s micromanaging those, too. Using it as an excuse to come in early and stay late. He claims things aren’t getting done unless he stays on top of things, and we both know that’s horse shit. Jake specifically recruited and trained every single one of these people to work independently.”

“So he’s making more work for himself and more stress. Awesome.”

“And he’s taking us all down with him.” Then he sighed. “There’s something else.”

I really didn’t like the sound of that. “What?”

By the pause and sound of Greg swallowing uncomfortably, I knew I wasn’t going to like what he had to say next. As in, everything else he’d just mentioned was a shadow compared to the big news. “When he’s not on the factory floor pissing everyone off, he’s in his workshop.”

Some people coped with stress by overeating or drinking, maybe even watching too much television. Jake coped with building things. His beloved truck, the Orange Beast, a completely renovated Bronco, was the result of coping his way through college.

“Do you know what he’s working on?” I was starting to panic.

“Not a clue. He’s being secretive. Eve?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you work your magic and bring my friend back? This asshole who’s replaced him sucks.”

I chuckled. Greg always had a way of making light and lifting a mood with a well-placed joke.

“That’s why I’m talking to you.” I heard the sound of Jake’s truck pulling into the driveway. “So I’m about to go and piss him off.”

“Thank fuck. You take care of things, I’ll play cleanup.”

“God I love it when you use baseball references,” I joked back.

“Good luck.”

“Thanks,” I murmured, ending the call.

I pretended to be reading when Jake strode into our room. He gave me a half-smile and went directly to his dresser, emptying his pockets and shrugging out of his suit jacket. Even after all these years he still wore a full suit to work unless he was working on something super hands-on.

He loosened his tie and cracked his neck. “I’m going to hop in the shower.”

“You should peek in on the girls.”

He froze for a moment, his muscles rigid, then he shook his head. “I don’t want to disturb them.”

What. The. Fuck? This man was not my husband. Jake’s passion in life was his family. He took great pride in his role as father and never missed an opportunity to bound down the hallway to sneak a look at the girls—even if he did happen to wake them up. He admitted once to being loud on purpose with the hope he’d get to put them back to sleep.

“Well, maybe if you came home when they were awake you could actually see them,” I bit out.

His shoulders dropped. “Work is crazy right now.”

Excuses. Did he actually believe his own crap or was this intentional? I wasn’t sure. “It’s never been this busy before.”

And you’ve always made it a point to keep your work hours short.

He shrugged, his back still to me. He kicked off his shoes. “The company is growing.” It almost sounded like a question. As if he wasn’t sure of the answer.

“The company has been growing since the day you and Greg formed it. You’ve still never worked this many hours before.”

His shoulders shot back up and he turned, angry. “It’s my job, Eve. My company.”

That’s when it hit me. He was sinking in quicksand—grasping at his work to keep from slipping away—clutching at the solid part of himself that he’d built all on his own. He was so afraid of hurting us that he was hurting us by emotionally abandoning us.

“Sorry,” I said quietly. “I just miss you.”

He lowered his eyes and dropped his hands to his side. “I’m trying my best.”

“I know you are. But you promised you’d try to be more present. And Jake? You’re going the opposite way.”

He winced. “I’m sorry. I—I don’t know what to do.”

“Are you still scared of the anger you feel or is this something different?”

He shook his head but didn’t move or say anything else. “Eve, you saw what I did at Thanksgiving…”

Yeah, I saw. “You mean the one day you’ve actually acted like yourself since we got back from Maine? Yeah, I remember the day.”

He stood there with one hand on his hip and his head down. “Please don’t say that.”

“Why?” I let my voice rise with each word. “You’re a passionate person, Jake. You are driven and you feel so much. On Thanksgiving you smiled and joked and when shit got weird you did something about it. I loved it.”

His head shot up and he glared at me. “You loved seeing me lose control? Can you honestly say you loved watching me act out in anger?”

“Yes! You would never hurt someone you loved, Jake!”

He laughed in exasperation. “That’s an insane thing to say, Eve. It’s okay to hit someone because I don’t love them? Acting in anger is acting in anger, no matter who you direct it at.”

I knew he was right, at least on the surface. I shouldn’t be happy he let his anger control his actions, but given the situation we were in, and knowing the man he was inside, I was comfortable with my feelings.

“You’re afraid you’re going to hurt us?” I guessed.

He clamped his mouth and eyes shut. “Yes,” he finally gritted out.

“That’s bullshit.”

He glared at me, but didn’t say anything.

So I went on. “It is. It’s total bullshit. You would never hurt a hair on my head and you’d kill yourself before you hurt the girls.”

His eyes softened—just a little. Maybe my logic was getting through. So I tossed the covers aside and prowled down to the end of the bed, beckoning him to me. If he didn’t find a way to let this anger out, or let it go, it was going to drive him mad.

And I didn’t want to think about what that would do to us.

He paused an unsettling distance away from me so I put my toes on the ground and grabbed his arm, pulling him the rest of the way over. “Don’t put space between us,” I murmured as I rested my cheek against his abs. Normally he’d push a hand through my hair and lightly massage my neck and shoulders, but today he just stood there, arms at his sides.

So I tried something different. I unbuckled his belt.

“What are you doing?” he asked, his voice barely more than a rough whisper.

I shrugged. “I miss your skin.” I slid his shirt up until there was enough bare skin to rest against. He shivered as we made contact, but he still didn’t touch me.

So I touched him. I kissed the top of his happy trail as I unbuttoned his slacks and unzipped his fly. He didn’t stop me. He just stood there staring down at me as if he were frozen in carbonite.

I undressed him silently and slowly, giving him ample opportunity to stop me. I uncovered every inch of his beautiful body, caressing and savoring it along the way. Maybe Jake wasn’t just scared of his anger—maybe he had accidentally slipped into an old habit of assuming he was unloved and unworthy. I wanted to remind him that he could feel good. That is was okay to let me touch him.

I was afraid of what he’d do when I finally made my big move, so I leveled the playing field first. He was naked, but I was in my t-shirt and boxers. We locked eyes briefly before I yanked the shirt over my head. There was so much doubt in his eyes. A hesitation that I hadn’t seen in a very long time. Hopefully the power of naked breasts would be enough to snap him out of it.

His eyes dropped to my exposed skin and he sucked in a breath. Yeah, that hesitation turned immediately to yearning.

“Touch me,” I whispered.

He swallowed and took me in his large hands, palming them both at the same time. Weighing them before squeezing. His cock sprang to life and dang it all, but I couldn’t stop the proud grin that spread across my face.

“Yeah,” he sighed. “They’re magical.”

“Best medicine in the world, or so I’ve heard.”

He nodded, groaning low in his throat. “God, Eve. I barely feel human these days.”

“So let me remind what it feels like to love me.”

His eyes snapped up to mine. “Have I made you feel unloved?”

I shook my head slowly, taking his cock into my hand and slowly stroking up and down his length. His eyes rolled back in his head. “No, but I think maybe I’ve made you feel that way?”

He shuddered, taking my hand away and pressing me backward onto the mattress so that the only thing I could see was him. “Never,” he growled.

My core clenched. That overly masculine response did wonderful things to my insides. “Then let’s forget about everything for a few minutes.”

Suddenly his hands were under my arms, hauling me back until I was in the middle of the bed. He nudged my legs apart with his knees and settled between them.

“I never want to hear those words come out of your mouth ever again.” He kissed me and then ground his hips into mine. “There is no way you could ever make me feel unloved. Ever.”

“Same,” I whispered and gasped almost in the same moment. “Oh, Jake…”

“Yes, darlin’?”

“I’ve missed this.”

He didn’t say anything. Instead he showed me just how much he missed me, too. He moved to my shoulder and ran a line of sexy kisses up my throat before stealing a deeper, dirtier kiss. Then he dove back down—this time between my breasts. He kept going, trailing down my belly, dipping his tongue into my belly button, and then all the way south.

He still hadn’t said a word when he started to swirl his tongue around my clit. So warm. So good. I could easily give in and let Jake distract me with sex—because that was what this was. A distraction from the real conversation we needed to have, but this was one time I was not going to give him control.

He was going to have to earn it if he wanted it back.

“Stop.”

He immediately froze and looked up, concern written on every inch of his face. “Babe?”

“Chair.” I pointed at the small, armless, leather-covered chair we kept in the corner (and shockingly free of clothes.)

He cocked an eyebrow. “Chair?”

“Chair,” I repeated. “You’re going to watch.”

At first he scowled, as I totally expected him to do. Jake was awesome, but when he was upset he enjoyed being in charge. It gave him grounding. And normally I gave him that willingly, but today he needed a good knock to the head.

His scowl slid away. “Okay.”

I waited until he was seated, cock standing proudly at attention, before I touched myself. I was on display in the middle of our bed with the sapphire blue satin comforter. From Jake’s vantage point he could see everything I was doing. His eyes narrowed and his jaw ticked as lust took over.

I took my sweet time warming myself up, rubbing slow, light circles around my clit, then ran my hands up to my breasts, massaging and cupping them until Jake looked like he might punch a hole in the wall.

“You can touch yourself, too, you know,” I murmured.

He cocked his head to the side as if it hadn’t occurred to him until I said it, then took his erection in his hand and pumped.

It turned me on to see him holding his cock, aroused by what I was doing. So I pinched both my nipples at the same time and rolled. My entire body pulsed. I bucked off the bed and moaned.

“Fuck, Eve. Are you going to make stay over here the whole time?”

“I haven’t decided yet.”

He groaned.

Good.

I kept one hand on my nipple and used the other to play and tease my sex. Down between the folds, pressure on my clit, a finger wet and ready. It was all lovely and relieving until I heard Jake stop moving. His hand was no longer on his cock but there was also no evidence he’d had an orgasm. Instead it looked more like he wanted to jump on top of me.

And really, hadn’t I made my point? An orgasm would be so much more relieving with his cock inside me than across the room.

“Come here.”

He was on top of me in a flash. “That was either cruel or awesome and I can’t decide which.”

I shook my head as I tilted my hips up to catch the tip of his erection. He thrust inside a few inches and stopped while we both moaned. The stretch was fantastic and completely different from my fingers.

“Can’t it just be awesome? Don’t you usually like watching me?”

He pulled back and thrust again, this time deeper. “Yes, but only when I know I get to finish you off. Why the games?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” It probably wasn’t fair that I’d waited until he was almost completely buried inside before I brought up what was really on my mind, but getting Jake to talk had been so difficult that I had to believe desperate times called for desperate measures.

He pulled back and thrust again, this time to the hilt. “I’m not playing games with you.”

“You’re lying to me about work, you aren’t talking to me, and you’ve become the absentee father. I don’t think these games are intentional and I don’t believe you’d ever be like this on purpose, but the result is the same. Jake, you can’t keep playing us like this.”

I ground against him until he couldn’t stand it another moment. He pumped into me several times—enough to get us both hot and sweaty.

“I’ve tried everything. I’ve been to the doctor, I’ve changed my workout routine, I’ve written pages and pages and pages…but the anger is still there. I can’t be with you guys when I’m like this.”

He was so frustrated and desperate to be free of his anger that he was ignoring the one thing he should be holding on to hardest. If I thought a swift smack to the head would actually knock some sense into him, I’d have done it.

So instead I ran my hands over his muscular shoulders and up into his hair, giving it a good tug. “Fuck me, Jake. Fuck it all out.”

“No,” he whispered.

“Yes. Please? I can’t go another minute feeling like I’ve lost you.”

Hurt flashed in his eyes. “I won’t fuck my feelings out with you, but I will be here. Right here. My mind isn’t anywhere else but here with you.”

It wasn’t what I wanted, but I didn’t think it was possible to have the old Jake back. So I took what he was offering. “Okay.”

We didn’t say anything else after that. It was slow, practiced lovemaking. The kind you naturally make with the person you love. There wasn’t anything wrong with it, but it was completely missing the extra element of passion I loved so much. Thrived on, really. Without Jake to spark and bounce off of in life and in this bed, I felt lost and alone. He was the fire in my life, and that fire was gone.

I wrapped myself around him, holding on to whatever I could get. It had to be enough to last me until we figured our way through this. If I could have, I think I would have pulled him inside me, given him a safe space to hide for a while.

He pumped into me over and over. Slow and steady. My orgasm wound tight inside, but refused to release. I was running out of time based on the sounds of Jake’s ragged breath and the layer of sweat we had between us.

“Come for me, babe. Please?”

I shook my head. “I can’t. I’m sorry. I just…”

And suddenly my ass was in the air as Jake hiked his knees up and grabbed me by the hips, lifting me up with him. “It’s okay. We’ll get there. Together.”

If only the stubborn man could hear his own damn words. We would get there together if he’d let me be there for him. Sex was symbolic of our life, didn’t he know that by now?

But instead of pointing all of that out and having it fall on deaf ears, I remained silent and waited to see what Jake did next. Maybe it would give me a clue about what to do with him outside of the bedroom.

He stopped everything. His cock was still inside me, but he didn’t move or touch me for several seconds. Then he parted my folds and exposed my very swollen clit. The fresh air caused a pulse to start at the very tip. It traveled down and inside to my core where a lovely pulse of pleasure rolled through me.

Then he gently blew on my clit and an identical wave rolled through me all over again. He was stripping everything back to the basics. All the moving and touching was overloading my senses and overwhelming my pleasure centers. Each cool blast of air brought me back down from the chaos until I could actually feel again.

It was nice.

And might be exactly what Jake needed, too.

Eventually he pressed against my clit with his palm and when I’d had a chance to absorb the way that made me feel, he started moving his hips in short slow strokes. With pressure on my clit and his cock gliding in and out, a new orgasm started to build. A good one this time. One I could hold on to and enjoy.

The pulses started deep and picked up speed. “Harder, Jake. Harder.”

Now that I was ready, I wanted everything. One giant explosion. He moved his knees and resumed his regular position on top of me, arms braced on either side, lips just above mine, cock thrusting deep.

Over and over until I exploded.

“Yes…Oh, yes,” Jake moaned, his hips jerking erratically as my powerful orgasm clenched his cock hard with wave after wave. And then I felt him, too. Pulsing and shuddering as we both let it all go and accepted the pleasure.

He rolled to his back, panting. “Fuck, I’ve got to find a way through this. I can’t…”

I closed my eyes wishing we could rewind time; erase Adam’s visit and the news that came with it. I really liked Adam and Elizabeth, but this was hell. I’d rather not know them than live like this anymore.

But that wasn’t an option. As much as I wished we could get do-overs, that wasn’t reality. We were forever changed and I could either watch my husband slip further and further from my fingers, or I could shock him into action. Strip things back to the bare minimum. Start over.

I really hated feeling like those were my only two options, but if the last few months had proven anything it was that Jake needed a swift kick in the ass.

So I cleared my throat and went for the jugular. “I don’t think you and the girls should come to spring training this year.”

The room went completely silent as Jake held his breath and stared at me. I rolled up onto my side. “I need some time to…” I shrugged and looked away. I couldn’t stand the hurt in his eyes. “I need some time to digest this reality. It’s been crushing.”

To say the least. If we were going to live like this for the foreseeable future, then I needed time to accept it. But I really hoped this would be the change we needed and even though I was hurting him now, it would get him to where he needed to be.

“But this isn’t what we do,” he whispered. “We don’t spend time apart.” His voice rose with panic at the end.

Good.

Jake needed to panic.

“I know,” I said. “But we also don’t do overworking and not communicating, but we’ve been doing that for the last few months. I’m burned out on being a full time mom and prepping for the season. My schedule only gets crazier from here and if I’m going to be Super Mom while you work through this, then I think I need to take this opportunity to get some space.”

A hope and lie all rolled into one.

He shot up and ran his hand through his hair. “No. No… we don’t do this. Space leads to more space.” He turned to look at me with wild eyes. “Eve?”

I sat up and spread my arms out, palms up. “I don’t know what else to do at this point, Jake. You’re working insane hours. You’ve stopped taking the girls to school in the morning, you don’t come home for dinner, and you don’t spend time with them on the weekends. They keep asking where you are.”

And I do, too.

He opened his mouth—I assume to argue with me—then snapped it shut. “They have?” he finally asked.

“Yes. You’re dealing with shit, and I get that, but I got full-time single-mom duty dropped in my lap without any planning. We’re managing, but we can’t keep going like this. If you’re going to be working this hard and be this emotionally absent, then something has to give.”

He looked… Well, he looked like I’d just rocked his world. He had this overwhelmed and shocked look to his eyes, his face had gone white, and instead of standing with rigid muscles ready to fight off the world, his shoulders were slumped as if the fight had just gone right out of him.

“A week.”

My eyebrows shot up. “A week?”

He nodded firmly, suddenly focused on something. “Take that first week. I’ve got the girls. We’ll have some serious Daddy time, but after that? We’re a family again.”

I almost wanted to say yes to that deal. Almost. It was so close to being what we needed, but it wouldn’t help Jake with his anger. But I also knew if I didn’t give him something he’d stop listening to me.

“All right. A week.” And when you arrive, you’ll have a surprise waiting.

A surprise that would either get Jake through this hell, or push us straight toward divorce.

12

JAKE

Eve was still at the stadium working out something with a vendor, so Zoe and I drove straight there with the kids. I didn’t think she knew exactly what was going on, but she knew enough. She had been nothing but awesome with the kids and working around my schedule this week, but she had a look. You know the kind…the “your-wife-left-you” look.

Technically it was just a week apart and Eve was working, but anyone with two brain cells could see that we weren’t right. And when two people who are normally all over each other aren’t right and then suddenly choose to spend a week apart—a week they didn’t have to spend apart—you know it’s because they can’t stand to be around each other.

“So we’ll go straight to the house after this?” she asked tentatively, with those big eyes that studied everything I was doing.

Of course I could be reading the situation completely wrong. Sometimes Zoe was taking notes in her head for one of her books and I had no doubt that I was currently a fascinating character study. But more than likely she was just worried I was about to start crying or some shit like that.

I was not going to start crying, even if it did feel a heck of a lot like a piece of my soul had been surgically removed without anesthetics, but Zoe didn’t need to know that.

“Yes, we’ll say hi, see the stadium, and take her back with us. Cassandra is there and dinner will be ready when we arrive.” At least I thought that was what she said. I really hadn’t been paying much attention. All I cared about was getting my family back together.

Max was passed out in her car seat, as she usually did on any car trip that lasted longer than twenty minutes, and Sam had her headphones on watching an episode of Paw Patrol.

“Cool. It will be fun to have all the cousins together for a couple of weeks.”

And the thing was, she genuinely looked excited. I wasn’t sure where we’d found Zoe, but I was grateful. A part-time nanny who could step in and work full-time on occasion, and was totally cool with extra kids? And pleasant to be around? And professional? She was a rare find indeed.

“You don’t mind?”

She shook her head. “Not at all. Cassandra will be there most of the time so it’s not like I’ve taken on a small school by myself. All the kids get along for the most part. And the beach is five hundred yards away. Trust me, I’m good.”

There wasn’t a game so the stadium parking lot was empty. I wound down to the loading ramp and parked in the small lot off to the side.

“I’ll sit with Max if you want to take Sam inside,” Zoe offered.

“You sure?”

Ten-to-one she didn’t want to be in the room to witness the epic uncomfortableness that was about to occur between Eve and me.

“There’s no reason to wake Max. But if she does wake up, I’ll scoop her up and come in.”

Sam excitedly dumped her electronics and scrambled out of the SUV. “I missed Momma.”

“Me, too. Me, too,” I sighed as I shut our doors and took her small hand.

I had hated the idea of a week apart from the moment the words left Eve’s mouth. I hated it even more as I went to bed alone each night. But she was right. I’d let my anger take hold of too much of my life. I’d allowed myself to become paralyzed. It had infected my entire life and taken me away from my kids.

That was the last thing I’d ever wanted to happen. Sure life could get me down, and Eve and I would have our fights, but I never, ever wanted anything to stand between the girls and me.

So while I hated our week apart, it had been a good knock to the head. I hadn’t even realized how much noise was buzzing around in my brain simply by carrying on as if nothing had changed.

Things had changed. Living my life for the last few days without the woman that made my world go around was a painful reminder that my happiness was my choice. I chose to build a life in Tampa with Eve and the girls and I could choose to enjoy it, or let my past ruin everything.

It wasn’t even a question and I wasn’t sure why it had taken me so long to realize the anger didn’t matter. Maybe it was because I’d stopped living my life. Without the girls giggling and Eve’s touch it was easy to slip away. I’d done that to myself, and then wallowed in the misery I created. It was a stupid mistake and it had been so easy to make.

All it took was Eve knocking some sense into me and a dinner with Max in my lap touching my face and saying, “My Daddy,” over and over again like she hadn’t seen me in ages to snap me back to reality.

I wasn’t my father. And I sure as hell wasn’t my mother. I would never treat anyone the way they treated me, their own son. Sure it was a shock to realize Lydia still took any opportunity to hurt me, but it was time to let it go. There was nothing I could do to change her. There was nothing I could do to make her feel pain like I’d felt. All I could do was ignore her. Giving her my anger was exactly what she wanted—what she fed on.

So as Max stroked my beard and beamed up at me, the chains fell away. My anger dissolved. I loved my girls, and all I wanted for the rest of my life was to love them as much as they loved me.

It had been a long seven days waiting to get a chance to look Eve in the eyes and let her know I was back.

I pushed through the heavy metal double doors and into a concrete hallway that led to a set of stairs. I waited patiently as Sam took the large steps one at a time when what I really wanted to do was throw her over my arm and haul butt to the offices.

“Daddy?”

“Yeah Sammy?”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

She mounted the last stair and reached for my hand. “Okay good. You’re happy again?”

I absolutely hated that kids were so perceptive. “Yes.” And then I swept her up into my arms. “I’m sorry you saw me sad, but even moms and dads get sad sometimes. What’s important is that we get happy again.”

“Okay,” she said so matter-of-factly I wondered how much she actually understood. It kind of seemed like she understood everything.

“And no matter how sad I felt, I never stopped loving you or Max or Mommy.”

She grinned and put her little hands on my face. “I know that, Daddy. We all love each other always.”

As hard as Eve had just knocked me with her week away, and Max with her little touches, it was Sam’s words that almost made me cry. Any man who doesn’t feel a tear sting his eyes when his daughter says things like that in his arms is fucking dead inside.

“Exactly baby girl. We all love each other always.”

I took the final few steps to the office door and stepped inside. “We’re here!”

Eve’s head popped up from her laptop. She looked beautiful, as she always did. Her dark hair was down in waves, she wore a Rays polo and jeans, and just enough makeup to enhance her features.

“Momma!” Sam exclaimed, squirming out of my arms.

I didn’t want to let her go so I squeezed her against me and pretended it was a game. “Where do you think you’re going? Mom is still working.”

The woman sitting across the desk stood up and grabbed a large purse off the floor. “Let me get out of your way.”

Eve shot me a small smile and reached out for Sam. “Get over here. This is Miss Linda. Her company is helping me organize a big party for the players and some special fans.”

“Hi Miss Linda,” Sam said sticking out her hand.

Linda laughed and shook it. “I’ll email over the final details. Thanks for staying late.” Then she left.

And I was finally alone with Eve.

She scooped up Sam and babbled about all kinds of things in record time. I just stood on the side and observed it, awkwardly sticking my hands in my pockets because I didn’t know what to do with them.

“Max and Zoe are waiting in the car?” she finally asked when Sam took a breath.

“Yeah, Max fell asleep.”

Eve laughed. It was a beautiful sound. “Of course she did.” It had been a long time since she laughed. That was my fault.

“Did you get a lot done this week?” I asked.

We traded a look. One of those silent conversations lovers have with only their eyes. “Yeah, I did. It was good to have a few days to focus on the team.”

“Me too.”

Her eyebrows rose. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” My feet were cemented to the floor. I wanted to storm across the room and take Eve in my arms. I wanted to show her exactly how good I was doing, but I stayed right where I was. She needed to hear it first. “I’m not angry anymore.”

She took a very slow, deep breath and then let it out just as slowly. “Really?”

“Really.” I tapped my temple. “Clear as a bell up here.”

She blinked a few times as hope and fear flashed across her delicate features in equal measure.

“Daddy is happy now!” Sam crowed and Eve laughed again.

“Is that so? How do you know Daddy is happy?”

Sam grinned at me, then leaned in to whisper in Eve’s ear. I couldn’t hear what she was saying, but whatever it was made Eve smile. Her grin grew until she was fighting off a fit of giggles. It was probably a good thing my little girl decided to come to my defense. Kids were natural truth serum. It would be pretty hard to deny anything she said.

“Okay then…” Eve drawled. Then she closed the gap between us. “Kiss me.”

So I did. I kissed the crap out of her, all while Sam sang a silly song about love and marriage. How did she even know that song? Wasn’t she still too young for that?

“What did she say?” I asked between kisses.

Eve shrugged and kissed me again. “Just that you’ve been smiling all week. And that you played Lego Batman with her on the Xbox.”

“Is that all?” It didn’t seem like such a big deal to me. Sure, smiling was a good sign, and playing with the girls was a great step in the right direction, but Eve seemed absolutely giddy about my transformation.

“She also said,” she kissed me one last time before pulling back to look into my eyes, “that you baked chocolate chip cookies.”

“I did. Used your recipe and everything.” And they’d turned out amazing, if I do say so myself.

“You’re happy?” she asked again.

“Mommy!” Sam sighed. “We all told you already. Daddy is Daddy again. Can we go to the beach house now?”

Wasn’t it amazing how simple the world was to a six year old? Maybe if it had been that simple to me I wouldn’t have wasted so many months.

“Yeah, let’s go,” Eve said with a genuine smile that made my chest expand.

* * *

Relief only lasted the length of the drive from the stadium to the house. Greg was waiting for me inside. He had two plane tickets to Maine. Purchased by my wife. We didn’t speak to each other over dinner.

Nope. I waited until bedtime.

“What the hell is this?” I asked, holding up the paper with our receipts.

She took a deep breath and squared off with me. “You cannot possibly leave things with the Senator hanging for the rest of your life. You’re not angry anymore, so now it’s time to patch things up and move the fuck on.”

“But I don’t get a say in the matter? This has been decided for me?” Eve had done some crazy things before, but sending me away like this was a new one.

“You can say no.”

I laughed. “Right…”

“No, really. You can. You can say no and I will totally accept your decision. However—”

“Uh huh, exactly. This is where you tell me that you’ll accept my decision, but you won’t like it and I’m wrong. So basically I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t.”

If she could have shot fireballs at me with her eyes, she would have. That’s how angry she got. Instead she just glared at me and fisted her hands at her sides—probably to stop from hitting me upside the head.

“Do not make me out to be manipulative. I’m not intentionally being manipulative. I’m laying out a course of action and strongly suggesting you take it!”

I held out my hands. “How is that any different from manipulation?”

“It just is!” she yelled. “Jake, you’ve been a miserable zombie. I had a feeling a week apart would knock some sense into you, and it did. I’m grateful to see it. But it doesn’t tie up all the loose ends. And,” she sighed and raked her hand through her long hair, “I want this to end. Now. All of it. Whether you and the Senator makeup or decide to cut ties forever, I support your decision fully. But shit or get off the pot.”

I fought a smile. “Shit or get off the pot?”

She blushed. “Yeah?”

“Okay.” I sure as fuck didn’t like being blindsided and I hated feeling like Eve went behind my back, but I knew she’d done it from a good place in her heart.

And as much as I wanted to forget the entire McKinley family, she was right. It would haunt me until I dealt with it. Better to do it now and get back to our lives than wait.

“Okay?”

“Don’t ever do that again,” I warned, but gently. I honestly wasn’t mad. It was more unsettling than anything else.

“I won’t.” Then she grinned and pushed up onto her toes as she padded across the thick carpet. She stopped in front of me and looked up, biting her lip. “Want to kiss and makeup? I’ll let you be in charge of my punishment.”

We never kept score or used sex as payment, but we did play games in the bedroom. Makeup pretend punishment sex could be fun, for sure, but not now. Not when we were barely speaking to each other.

“How about we just makeup? Save the games for later?”

Her grin widened. “I’ll go first.” She went for my belt, loosening the notch, then whipped it free. “I’m sorry I manipulated you.” My cock ignored her words and focused on her touch.

No words were needed as she dug inside my pants. No words at all. The only thing that mattered was being with Eve. All of me.

13

EVE

“He’s doing good,” Greg said. He was calling me in secret from the airport bathroom. “He’s grumpy as fuck, but that’s nothing new lately. I hope this works. I’m the grouchy pain in the ass. That’s my role. I like my role. Having to give it to Jake and be the happy nice guy is killing me.”

I could picture him squirming. I made a face at his fiancée, Marie, and rolled my eyes. “That’s not what Marie has been telling me. She says you love being nice.”

Her mouth fell open and she glared at me, mouthing, “You’ll pay for that.”

I shrugged. Greg grunted and fidgeted. “Whatever. I’ve gotta run, but we made it, he’s fine. I’ll have him call you when we’re done.”

“Sounds good.”

I took a minute to reply to Jake’s text. We’d agreed that he could text since it was less stressful than trying to find words when his mind was so clearly fixated on something else. Good luck. Love you. xo

“Thanks for giving up your man for the weekend,” I said as I tossed the phone to the side.

Marie shrugged. “It’s only one night. No big deal.”

But it was. They were getting married in a month and her family was a bear, so she was doing it virtually in secret. She didn’t need a last minute trip to add to her load. “How’s the wedding coming?”

That got me a smile. “Everything is done. Natalie and her father fly in three days before, Greg’s family is coming the same night, and you’re all here already.”

They were getting married at the Don Cesar, on the beach, with a relaxed clambake themed reception. It was going to be small, personal, and a little bit extravagant. Marie had never been married to her daughter’s father and Greg had never gotten the opportunity to marry his first fiancée before she died. The fact that Greg and Marie were getting married at all was huge, and they wanted to honor everything that it meant.

“It’s going to be beautiful.” I smiled.

“I think so. It’s perfect for us.” She reached over to the coffee table where my wedding album was still laying open from when she’d flipped through it earlier. “Yours was huge.”

I nodded. “It was. But not nearly as large as my sister’s.”

June started laughing from the kitchen. “Oh my god. Cassandra’s wedding was insane. Like, royalty insane.” She set a tray of cheese and crackers on the coffee table and plopped down between us. “If I ever get married I want a justice of the peace and a courthouse.”

“If?” I asked, arching a protective big sister eyebrow at her.

She shrugged. “Yeah, if. I’m young, I’ve got an awesome career, and a full life ahead of me. If a man wants in on this he better be amazing. I have doubts anyone can compete.”

Marie covered her laugh with her hand, then reached out the other for a fist bump. “Right on, sister.”

June nodded. “See? She waited until Greg. Greg’s awesome. Imagine if she’d settled before she met Greg?”

“Greg’s only awesome if you get Greg,” Marie cautioned. “He’s a perfect example of there’s someone for everyone.”

“True,” I agreed. “Marie is perfect for Greg and he’s become the perfect man for her. I swear I don’t know what magic mojo you put in his Knob Creek.”

Marie blushed. “I didn’t do anything except give him the opportunity to be himself.” Then she gave me a pointed look.

I gave her one right back. We’d had a few conversations about the challenges of falling in love with complicated men. “Touché.”

June looked back and forth between us. “Is she saying Jake is weird?”

My sister lacked the filter that was supposed to exist between her brain and her mouth. “Yes. He’s mine. He’s my weirdo.”

June scrunched up her face. “He’s perfect. What on earth are you talking about?”

Maybe he was perfect, but he was also unique. Not everyone liked unique. In fact, it seemed like most people preferred normal, and Jake and Greg were definitely not normal guys.

“June Bug, you have rose colored glasses on. Greg is a crass pain in the ass who needs people around him to soften the blow.”

Marie nodded emphatically. “Eve handles the big sister roll. She tells him like it is and smacks him around when he needs it. I, on the other hand, am the woman who loves him. It’s my job to make sure he relaxes and enjoys life. Kind of like Eve does for Jake.”

“Jake’s a workaholic without me,” I agreed. “He would bury himself in work and be a cranky old man if it wasn’t for me.”

June shrugged just as Cassandra flopped down on the other side of me. “I’m exhausted. If I ever say a baby is cute, smack me.”

She had just gotten to the most sacred level of motherhood: all three kids were in elementary school, when she got pregnant with Easton. “Naw, I’ll just send Max and Sam up to tear your house apart. That’ll fix you.”

She grimaced. “I knew it would be hard to go back to diapers and exhaustion, but damn. It’s harder now than ever.”

I patted her head. “At least you have us.”

She nodded. “Did I hear you guys giving June advice about marriage?”

June snorted. “More like scaring me away from it forever.”

Cassandra rolled her eyes. “Great job.”

“What?” June laughed. “You’re dead tired, Eve is stressed, and Marie is a handler. I will take my single carefree life and run.”

But you’ll be lonely, sister dear. I would never say it to her, and neither would Marie or Cassandra, but as I looked at them, I saw the same thoughts in their eyes: it’s work, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

* * *

I chewed on my lower lip as I paced back and forth at Tampa International Airport. They’d landed fifteen minutes ago and sat at the front of business class. They should be here any minute.

Bright light filtered in and the voices of hundreds of hurried travelers filled the air, sounding more like a rushing stream of water than individual voices.

It sounded a lot like my head, actually. At least for the last few weeks. Things had gotten progressively louder and more chaotic to the point I could barely focus. And then, all of a sudden, that was nothing but a memory.

Jake smiled the moment he saw me and everything else vanished. There was no noise, no light. No one else existed. For a few brief moments the world tilted, then it righted, and everything was the way it should be again. He strode toward me in long, fast strides, taking me in his arms so fast that he swept me off the ground.

“I love you,” he rumbled.

I squeezed his neck so damn tight. “I love you, too.”

He didn’t set me down. Instead he held me close, rubbing his nose along mine. “I’m back. All of me.”

My damn lip started trembling as all my fears hit me at once. “You are?”

He nodded quickly, then kissed me once on the lips. “Yeah. You were right. I needed to see him face to face. We had too many things left unsaid.”

“No more doubts?”

He shook his head. “Out of my system.”

“Can you set me down?” He frowned, but did it. I took his face in my hands, needing to feel his scruff against my palms.

He turned and kissed my hand. “Let’s get back to our family.”

Oh…when he said things like that…I wanted to give that man a thousand babies. He made fatherhood sound like the sexiest thing ever.

Luckily Greg cleared his throat and brought us both back to reality. “Uh, can you guys save the humping for when you get home? I’ve been with ‘overly-grumpy-asshole Jake’ and ‘way-too-happy-to-get-home Jake’. I need space and my woman.”

I peeked around Jake. “I’m going to tell Marie you called her that.”

He grinned like the caveman he secretly was. “She knows.” He winked. “And she likes it.”

I stuck my tongue out at him, even if we did have it coming. Greg had caught us in far too many compromising kisses. And positions. Jake shrugged his shoulders as if he didn’t know what to do with us, so I went around him and gave Greg a great big giant hug.

“Thanks for this.”

He looked away with the telltale sign of a blush. Greg was a big old softie underneath it all. “Anytime,” he grumbled. “You know that.” Then he punched Jake in the arm—most likely to counteract all the feelings. Jake punched him back.

And just like that, we were back to normal.

* * *

I got the details of Jake’s trip over date night. Date night was also naked date night. It was also naked date in bed with cocktails and pizza on the porch. Have I mentioned lately how much I love my husband? Because I do. He totally gets me. Sure I love a nice night out just the two of us all dressed up. I love expensive food and dancing. But I also love the simplicity of being naked and alone with good food and my best friend. The girls were at the beach house with my sisters and Zoe, so we had our house all to ourselves for a change.

“So you agreed to the same deal Adam and Elizabeth have?” I almost choked on my slice of pepperoni, mushroom, pepper, onion, spinach, and basil.

This was…unexpected. Yeah, I was going with unexpected (because “Holy shit are you insane” was not the helpful response.)

He smiled and his gorgeous dimple lit up his face. “I did. It felt right. After we explained and I yelled, Rose came in and we did it all over again. Then we sat down and really talked.”

“Okay…” I drawled, my mouth full of food.

“I honestly believe they are so ignorant and oblivious it did not occur to them how incredibly stupid they were.”

I washed down my food with a bottle of red wine. “What?”

He cocked his head to the side. “Babe. Could you imagine my life before you were in the middle of it?”

I shook my head. I really couldn’t.

“And you’re you. You’re sweet and empathetic. They’re…” his voice dropped away.

“Politicians,” I finished for him.

“Exactly.”

We ate for a few minutes in silence. “So what did they say that changed things for you?”

He tossed his pizza onto the box and came over to me. I gave him my hands and he yanked me up, palming my ass. “First, your ass is divine.”

“Thank you.”

“Second, will you come sit on top of me while I explain this?”

I looked past him at our still fairly new chaise lounger. The one we’d been christening when the phone call came in that set all this in motion. “I could do that.”

He grinned and pulled me over. The moment he was settled, smiling up at me with a huge light in his eyes, I straddled him. He massaged my hips and thighs while I ran my hands over his sculpted chest.

“They wanted to know everything.”

My eyebrows rose. “Did you tell them everything?”

He snorted. “No. They couldn’t handle that level of reality and still keep their heads out of the sand. I started with the basics and when I saw their eyes starting to glaze over, I stopped.”

Without thinking my fingers had started to trace Jake’s scars. One was too many, but Jake had dozens. Broken bones, cuts, and a million bruises that didn’t leave their permanent mark in a visible way.

He watched my fingers dance. “You know what? I like to imagine that every time you do that, you erase a little bit of what made them.”

My heart skipped a beat. “I do, too.”

He took my hands in his, kissing the tips of each finger. “They don’t want to keep their heads in the sand, and there’s nothing they can do to go back and fix the past. I want the girls to have more family and I’d like to continue growing my relationship with my cousins. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to be close with my grandparents—or if they’re even capable of it—but I think a few holidays here and there are worth finding out.”

I nodded, love and feelings pulsing through me, searching for a way out. “Of course.” If that was what Jake wanted, then I was sure as hell going to back him up.

“That’s enough talking,” he smiled. “Shut up and kiss me.”

I nodded a bunch, then fell over, bathing him in a million kisses until he started laughing.

“I love you, Jake. I just want to be happy together.”

“Me too, darlin’. I’m sorry we lost time but I’m not sorry we got this unexpected night at home alone.”

He rocked his hips up into mine. I pressed back. “I’m sure we can find some fun things to do.”

“Mmmm… like staying up all night having sex?”

I nodded. Who needed sleep? If motherhood had proven anything to me, it was that I did not need a lot of sleep. “I’m back on the clock as soon as we hit the road in the morning. I highly suggest you make the most of the time you have.”

And then all of a sudden I was on my back and Jake’s head was between my legs.

* * *

“C’mere, baby.” Jake beckoned me into the shower. I melded against him. How is it that my head fit so perfectly against his pecs? And that his hand fell perfectly to press into the small of my back? Or that he could rest his head on top of mine?

“I’m still wearing my underwear.” It was ridiculously early but I’d wanted to have shower sex before we drove south.

“I know,” he rumbled. “Undressing you is one of my favorite things.” He yanked my t-shirt over my head, then pushed down my underwear. Jake’s naked erection pressed into my belly without anything between us.

“What do you need from me, darlin’?”

He was right—I needed something from him. That was why I was folded into his chest as if it were the embodiment of comfort. It was why I was hanging on each syllable he spoke and staring into his eyes every chance he gave me. I realized, as his hand slid up and down the small of my back, sending comfort from his capable hands through my skin and into my soul, that Jake had recognized this much earlier in the day. He’d shifted from relaxed and carefree to attentive and protective as we fell asleep last night.

What did I need? I traced the beads of water as they created different tracks across his chest. “You’re beautiful,” I murmured.

“Thank you.”

That was all he said, giving me time and space to figure myself out. He was perfect. His skin, while scarred, was warm and taut over sculpted muscles more than capable of caring for me and his daughters at every turn—even when his life was in chaos.

That was it.

That. I felt the niggle of recognition as something I’d just thought caught and flamed in my heart. “I love you.”

He smiled and squeezed me tighter, his cock pulsing in proud happiness between us.

“And…I love everything about us.” I bit my lower lip as my mind wandered to dirtier pastures. Jake’s fist in my hair and his hand on my hip as he drove hard and deep into me from behind.

Or Jake’s fist in my hair as he held me shaking against his thigh after I’d blown his mind.

Or Jake groans of pleasure as I rode him into oblivion.

Okay, clearly I was horny—and apparently in the mood for a good hair tugging—but it was more than that. I needed the intensity that came from the two of us being completely abandoned to our passion for each other.

I cleared my throat. “I know you hate the word as much as I do, but we’re luckier than most.”

He didn’t grimace or make any reaction, really. Just held my gaze, steady and open for whatever was coming.

“And because of the downs…” Damn. Why was this so hard to spit out? “Because of the downs I feel how precious everything else is.”

Understanding dawned in his eyes. “Oh, Eve…” the protective need and arousal in Jake’s voice pushed me to an entirely new level of horny. At this rate I was going to be begging before we were done shampooing.

I got like this from time to time. My feelings took on a life of their own. And my favorite way to feel them—to really feel them—was through completely uninhibited love with my husband. It was always intense. Exhausting. And damn good.

“We have two amazing daughters. They are healthy and happy…” I was still amazed by that small miracle. “We have a wonderful woman who helps us raise them, and my sister is next door. I love my job. It’s secure and it makes me happy every day. You love your company and work with your best friend. We have an amazing house—”

Jake shut me up with a deep kiss. There was no preamble. His tongue was between my lips and stroking down along mine in a flash. I kissed him back just as hard, my fingers instantly in his hair, threading their way through until I felt just enough to make a fist and tug.

He groaned into our kiss and pressed his hard cock into my belly. One hand delicately held my lower back while the other pressed between my shoulder blades, controlling our kiss with subtle changes in pressure.

“Stop talking before I maul you against this cold, hard tile,” he growled, his eyes open and bright. I loved the feel of his heart hammering in his chest and the blood pumping through his veins. It mirrored mine in every way possible.

“I want to soak up every moment. Every feeling. I want to remember it all,” I said anyway, consequences be damned.

He gave me a playful scowl. “No more. I mean it this time. I know what you’re going to say next and I don’t want to hear it.” So he kissed me and ran his hands down to my hips, jerking and adjusting me to his preference before dropping to his knees and throwing my leg over his shoulder so that I was spread before him the way that he liked.

He growled in appreciation of my summer trimming and then deliberately and slowly licked his way into my folds so that I’d be too pleasured to say anything other than how I wanted his cock.

But inside my head I finished my thoughts. I’m memorizing everything so that when things are hard I have these moments to keep me warm. Because life isn’t perfect, but I’m damn lucky to have what I have. I wished I could go back and let my younger self know that everything would work out. That Jake would come home and we’d grow old together. So many years of doubt and worry… and yet, it had given me a healthy appreciation for this.

I threaded my fingers into the longer hair on the top of his head and relaxed against the shower tiles while Jake teased me just the right amount to get my engines roaring to life.

“Don’t let me come,” I gasped as he circled his index finger at the entrance to my sex.

He paused and looked up at me with dark, hooded eyes. “Are you wet for me?”

God. Was I ever not wet for him? “You tell me.”

He moved with great restraint—as if he were ready to throw me on the floor and claim my body over and over until it was clear to every man on earth that I was his and his alone. He swallowed hard and his Adam’s apple bobbed. He tilted his head back far enough to see my reaction as he entered me.

I gasped as his large finger slid inside and swirled, then out and returned with a second digit. I smacked my hands against the wall as my entire body zinged with electricity.

“Yes, darlin’, you are very wet for me,” he purred, his eyes dropping to the slickness on his fingers. “But are you ready?”

That…oh, his words. They did dirty, dirty things to me and I trembled. “Not even a little bit.”

He rocked back enough to find the body wash, poured it into his palm and lathered it up. Then he began to wash me. Since he was so much larger than me he was able to do most of it from his knees. He made quick work of my neck and arms, then took his time as he carefully massaged my breasts, dipping his mouth to my clit.

I moaned, breaking eye contact so I could close my eyes and give myself fully to the pleasure. He worked me right up to the brink, then stopped and resumed his careful washing of my stomach and legs, then back up to my swollen sex.

“Turn,” he demanded.

I turned, pressing my palms against the tile that was now warmed by my body. He grunted appreciatively as he massaged my ass, then down between my cheeks, pausing to lightly massage every nook and cranny with the utmost care.

Jake was as greedy a lover as I was at times, but he was always first and foremost considerate. He tested my wants with these slow explorations. Did I want more pressure on my core or my clit? Fast strokes or the long slow ones that made me sigh? Were my nipples sensitive enough for pinching and rolling to be fun, or too sensitive and better suited to careful strokes of his tongue? He collected his data until he was satisfied he’d mapped my needs, then stood and grabbed the showerhead, rinsing me from head to toe.

“Wash your hair.”

I grinned. “Wash yours.”

He grinned back and we maneuvered around each other until both our heads were clean and conditioned. Then I grabbed the body wash and performed by own inspection of Jake’s needs and wants.

His nipples were almost always so sensitive he preferred I skip over them, but every so often he groaned—just like that—and I put it in my back pocket as a stop on my tour. He was very tactile today. My touch seemed to do all the things to his cock that my mouth did. I ran my hands down his chest, massaged his biceps, then traced the water down his happy trail to his cock. I gripped him lightly, giving his length a few test strokes as I watched his lids grown heavy. A slight smile curved the corners of his lips.

Oh yes, Jake was in the mood for a long, torturous romp, too. This would be fun.

Maybe too much fun, but probably just the right amount to release all the feelings running wild inside my head.

I dropped to my knees and carefully massaged his thighs. Higher and higher, until I reached the point he was ticklish. Then I wrapped my palm around his balls and gave them a gentle massage, promising there was a great deal more of that to come.

“Fuck, Eve. Your hands…”

I looked up. “Aren’t quite the same as my mouth?” I arched an eyebrow as his eyes widened at the sight of my open mouth millimeters from the head of his cock. I waited until the artery in his neck started pounding before I closed the gap and wrapped the warmth of my mouth around the sweetness of his dick.

Because, yeah, when he was this aroused for this long, he tasted sweet. With a delicate mix of salty thanks to the beads of precum that kept forming in the slit at the tip of his cock.

Suddenly the shower was off and Jake’s hands were under my arms. “Stop.” He shuddered. “I don’t think I can take another second.”

I sucked harder. Jake wanted long, drawn out pleasure as much as I did, but he also liked to feel of my mouth. I swirled around his head with my tongue, then rocked back on my heels.

“Let me do this,” I pleaded. “Let’s get you started off right. I’m going to be greedy today, babe. Really fucking greedy. And I want you ready for it.”

He swallowed down a string of swear words. “Put your mouth back on me before I come on your face. When you say things like that…” He didn’t finish that sentence. Well, not with words. There was a hiss that melted into a moan that didn’t stop for the next sixty seconds as I sucked and hummed up and down his cock, picking up speed the way he liked. Then I blindly reached up to find his hand. I placed it on my head so he could take control of the speed while I managed the depth.

His fingers massaged at first, then tightened as he lost control. That was when I cupped his balls again, gently massaging at first, and then as the head of his cock knocked the back of my throat, I gave them a firm tug.

I swallowed as he twitched, drawing his orgasm right to the brink of what he could stand without falling over—I’d made that mistake during shower sex before and it had very nearly ended in stiches.

He threw out his hands to steady his shaking body and I made one last long trip down his length, then sat back and took in the sight of my husband completely blissed out by the pleasure I’d given him.

It was a beautiful sight. Jake always looked handsome, but the completely relaxed and happy version of post-orgasm Jake was one of a kind. And one that only I got to see, so in my overly emotional state, I took that in, too, memorizing it—just in case.

Besides, it would fuel a few fantasies. Late night phone sex when one of us was on the road…yeah. This would be front and center in my mind.

“Stop looking at me like that,” he breathed.

“Like what?”

He reached down and took my face in his hands. “Like you could do that again and again.”

I practically purred. “I was picturing that, actually.”

He groaned and threw back his head. “You are a danger to my health. But first? I need to return the favor. Dry off. Wait for me on the bed.”

It had been just long enough since Jake’s mouth was on me. I was still needy and a little bit swollen with desire, but not on the brink. I was primed.

And when Jake appeared in the doorway, he was a recovered man ready for more.

And more, and more, and more.

Yes!

He was gloriously naked. Backlit by the bathroom lights. The shadows highlighted the definition of his long lines and hard muscles. It highlighted the width of his shoulders and the tautness of his hips. There was a glint in his eyes. It wasn’t quite an uncontrolled burning anymore—but it was close.

“You want me?” he asked. It wasn’t really a question so much as a game.

“Yes,” I murmured, my core clenching at the idea of Jake on top of me.

“Hard?” Again, it wasn’t really a question. He already knew the answer.

“Yes,” I whispered the word like it breathed life into my soul.

I think it did the same to his. The energy shifted. My needs turned him on and unlocked that base male instinct to claim and satisfy his woman. He began to prowl toward where I sat on the edge of the bed.

“I’m going to pleasure you until you beg for me to be inside you.”

I swallowed. Yes.

“And then?” He threaded his hand around the back of my neck and into my hair. “I’m going to make you scream my name.”

This time I said it out loud. It escaped from my throat and poured out over my lips. “Yes…”

His other hand moved into my hair, too. “Look at me, baby.”

I opened my eyes. “Jake…”

He shook his head, hushing my untamed feelings. “You see what you’ve done to me?”

Sure enough he was hard and bobbing in front of me. And just close enough to taste. I leaned forward and pulled him into my mouth all over again. With his hands in my hair he arched his hips forward. I groaned as his head pressed against the back of my throat.

“Your turn,” he said, his voice low and full of promise. “Stand for me.”

He pushed me back toward the bathroom with his hand on the small of my back.

“Here.”

We stopped in the doorway, just inside the bedroom. He took my right hand and placed it above my head on the doorjamb. He walked around and did the same for my left hand, then stood behind me, grinning above my head in the mirror. “Almost.”

I watched as he moved around me, positioning my feet so that he had me just where he wanted me. The mirror was a very nice touch. Not only did it allow me a chance to appreciate my own body, but it gave me a chance to see every single move Jake made. Every flex of his muscles, every twitch of restraint. Every longing gaze.

A shudder slid down my spine, landing between my legs where I was already wet and wanting. Jake licked his lips.

“You like talking tonight?”

I nodded—a little too quickly—but at least he knew just how much he was affecting me. One the fascinating things about being with Jake for so long was that we’d evolved together. Our sex life had changed and morphed several times with our wants and needs. Careful and tentative after our children entered our lives. Intense and appreciative when thing returned to normal. Slow when life was hard, hard when life was overwhelming, experimental when it was downright unbearable, and back through the loop all over again. I appreciated having a lover I could trust with my desires—someone who cared about my wellbeing more than his own, because, ultimately, his wellbeing was tied to mine.

We were the rain in summer. Constantly growing and changing but also, somehow, the same.

“Fuck, Eve. I can’t do it like this, then.”

I giggled as he wrapped me up in a hug from behind, my hands falling away from the door. I leaned back into his solid wall. “I don’t care what we do. I just want it to last.”

He stiffened around me, feeling the double meaning in my words, understanding the need that was driving all of this. His hand snaked down to my clit, starting a slow, firm circle of building desire as he lazily walked us back to the bed.

“I’m going to stretch you out and worship you, baby. I want the same things, you know that right?” His lips were just behind my ear, his soft breath whispering across my skin in the silence of our bedroom. “I would taste you everyday if I could. I’d devote an entire hour every morning and every evening just for drinking in the sight of your naked body. I need times like tonight just as much as you do. I love our lives, but sometimes I need more.”

I yearned to give him what he needed.

As if he could hear my thoughts, “You are. Back there in the shower combined with what we’re about to do? That’s exactly what I need.” We stopped as my legs hit the edge of the bed.

He slowly turned me in his arms so that we were nose to nose—well, with my head tipped back and his leaned forward—and kissed me again, this time slowly. Delicately. As if he were tasting me for the first time all night.

His hand came around to brace me as we fell to the mattress. “I’m going to make sweet, sweet love to you. Slow, so slow. And just when you’re so hot and sweet, when you’re blissed out and high on my love, that’s when you get what you want.”

My eyes flew open when his voice dropped two octaves into the dirty range.

He grinned. “That’s right. You heard me.”

And from there things became a blur of tongues and fingers as we traded pleasure in every way possible. He massaged my left breast—and only my left—circling closer and closer to my nipple until I thought I was going to combust. That was when he finally closed that hot mouth of his and sucked. I bucked, wild with need. He quieted me a little by sliding his thumb into my mouth. I sucked as he sucked, but my hips still gyrated until he took back his thumb and moved it south to still my rocking hips. That sexy thumb stroked back and forth across my belly, moving lower and lower until he pressed it against my clit. I moaned as pleasure rolled through me from my toes to the tears forming in my eyes.

So many feels and not enough hours to properly feel them all.

But this would have to do for a while.

Then his thumb moved further south, folding into my warmth until my core pulsed around him.

Somewhere in the tumble of our bodies coming together and moving apart I wound up sliding down his lean torso to take his cock back into my mouth, sucking and licking until he yanked me away. “Oh no you don’t, you little vixen. When I come, I’m coming deep inside you.”

Oh yes.

I rose up onto my knees. “I want you, Jake. No more waiting.”

He moved behind me. “Are you sure?” he murmured against my sensitive ear. The one that seemed to have a direct line to the muscles in my core that clenched every time his voice vibrated against my skin. “Because I can keep this up all day.” He kept talking and my core kept rippling with want for a cock to fill it, all while he resumed his rolling of my nipples. He clamped them with his fingers, calling for the blood to engorge them so that when he let go and pressed me forward toward the mattress they’d spike with a whole new level of sensitivity as they swept back and forth across the sheets.

Yes. Yes. Yes!

“Oh god, yes.” And I’d said that out loud.

His cock was hot against my backside, ready and waiting for the action to really start.

With his fingers still on my nipples he adjusted us slightly, lining up our final round for success. I tried my best not to grind my hips. Really I was trying to not move at all. I was so ready that any errant movement might just send me over the edge. We hadn’t built all of this up for a misfire.

But Jake knew me well. Knew how much anticipation turned me on and kept me level at the same time. He froze, his breath the only movement. We stayed just like that, heavy breath, my knees inside his, his fingers holding my nipples hostage. The anticipation of what was coming next tingled across my skin. I knew what we were about to do, but I didn’t know exactly when or in what order. I didn’t know if he’d be loud and commanding or silent so he could hear every moan that escaped my throat as he pounded me into oblivion.

He surprised me by moving slow. He released one nipple.

I hissed as the blood rushed to the tip. “Yes.”

Then the other. This time it was Jake who did the hissing. “They are so beautiful. They are begging for my mouth. Do you want my mouth?”

I shook my head. Yes, yes I did, but no, I couldn’t handle it. If his hot tongue pressed against my nipples when they were this sensitive I’d blow right then and there.

He splayed his left hand across my belly, just below my navel, while his right hand pressed behind my shoulder blades and slid up into my hair.

Yes. I took a deep, shaky breath as that tingle of anticipation sparked into a full-on flame of need. My panting grew ragged and raw. My feelings were everywhere, my emotions on full display.

My desire naked to the world, but only for Jake’s eyes.

His fingers tightened in my hair, but slowly. Excruciatingly slowly. The pain and pleasure spreading across my scalp one heartbeat at a time.

And then his lips were back at my ear. “You know what’s in my head when we’re like this?” His fingers tightened on my belly, pulling me closer against his body. He didn’t wait for my reply. It wasn’t necessary. This was the last surge of foreplay before the big show. “That I’m the only man who ever sees you like this.” My entire body fluttered in need. “And you’re the only woman who makes me lose my fucking mind.” His fingers tightened in my hair, tilting my head back so that he had full access to my neck. He sucked gently along my pulse, my sex hot and throbbing for the same thing: Jake’s lips on me everywhere. Forever.

I moaned as suddenly everything became too much. My nipples were on fire, my skin tingled, my pulse was so fast and my breathing erratic. He bent me forward, his hand on my belly sliding to my hip to open them. No more teasing, no more waiting. He thrust into me with one smooth, firm stroke, but not hard enough to hurt. I bucked and cried out with relief.

Then he reared back, ready for his cock to plunge home. I widened my hips and presented just a bit more of my ass to make this one a good one. With both his hands on my hips he plunged deeper, my body stretching around his thick invasion, and stilled as our bodies locked fully together. It was too much and not nearly enough. The fresh bite of his cock filling me past the point of full, forcing me to expand around him then clench hard, holding him tight and deep—maybe so he couldn’t escape.

“Yes,” I moaned. I leaned down so that my nipples could brush against the bed as Jake drove into me again and again. Harder and deeper. His grunts matched my own. Blinding pleasure shot through me with each stroke. His cock hitting my core and detonating a bomb with each and every thrust. Like a shockwave flying out from an explosion. My nipples sent a small wave back toward his cock until I was filled with nothing but pleasure. The world faded away. There was no light or needs or cares. Just the sound of Jake losing control as he pounded into me until my feelings erupted into a blinding orgasm, pulsing and clenching around Jake’s thick cock. “Jake!” I called his name out, loud and needy, just as he promised I would.

“Oh…” he moaned as my body clenched him tight. “Oh…” and with a final slam, his pleasure joined mine.

I was still shaking and pulsing as we awkwardly rolled to the side together. He showered me with kisses down my neck and shoulders, licking at my skin followed quickly by gentle love nips. His hips kept rocking against my backside, sending tremors up through my core.

“I’m still hard, baby. Might be all day after—”

I gulped. “Are you suggesting?”

He slid his hand over my hip, seeking my clit. “Not suggesting. Demanding.”

I groaned as he made contact. I was most definitely up for round two. So I hooked my foot up on top of Jake’s, giving him a little more maneuvering room to work.

“I like it when you’re demanding.”

He grinned. I could feel it against my skin. “Good. Play with your nipples.”

So I closed my eyes and floated away on a blissed out cloud of pampering. My husband’s eternally hard cock rocking inside, his hand outside, and my fingers deftly rolling and pinching just the way I liked it until I pitched off a cliff of insanity that shockingly took Jake down with me.

* * *

Spring training ended in a blur of fan parties that blended seamlessly into opening day festivities. I barely remembered any of it. Jake managed to find a way to romance me every day and somehow those were the only memories that managed to stick. We fell into the regular season rhythm after that. Jake was up and at the office by five every morning while I got the girls up and to school before I headed in.

Zoe picked them up from school and took care of them until Jake got away, which was pretty early most days. He’d found a renewed interest in life that included everything from the business to the girls to fishing.

My nights varied depending on the game schedule. Some days I was home at four, other days I was at the stadium until the game was over. Our weekends were either spent in the world of baseball or on the water. The weather was glorious. Bright, hot sun and regular afternoon thunderstorms I could set a watch to—which was a huge reason why I raced home early on the days that I could.

“Hey babe?” Jake was in the middle of serving up bowls of steaming homemade mac and cheese.

“Yeah?” I said as I poured two identical princess cups of milk.

“The girls are getting older.”

I chuckled as I put the milk back in the fridge. “Your powers of observation are unparalleled.”

He swatted my ass and pulled me into him with a growl. “Snarky.”

I threw my arms around his neck. “Only because it gets me this.”

He kissed me, licking along my lower lip. When I didn’t open like he wanted, he forced his way inside, claiming my mouth. “I see you’re enjoying the crime and punishment game this evening.”

Yeah, I was feeling feisty. “Why not?”

He released me and took the bowls in to the dining room table. “So as I was saying…” Then he took the princess cups and set them beside the bowls. “The girls are getting older and I’ve been thinking.”

I spooned mac and cheese onto our plates next to our kabobs. The girls had adamantly refused to eat the grilled veggies and meat and we’d decided it wasn’t a war we wanted to fight right now.

“What are you thinking?”

He poured us both a small glass of red wine and nodded toward the dining room. I followed him in. “I want to start working with foster families again. I want to offer respite care. I think the girls are old enough.”

“Oh!” The word popped out automatically. Of all the things I thought he was leading up to, that wasn’t it. “Yeah. Maybe? Yeah.”

He laughed. “I know. It’s a little earlier than we’d agreed to, but,” he sighed.

“But what?”

He shrugged. “The night I came home from Maine. The night we,” he glanced up at the porch above us, grinning, “the night we celebrated my return? I told you that every time you trace my scars it feels like you erase some of the past.”

I nodded, knowing where this was going. “Taking care of these kids does kind of the same thing, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah. It does.” He leaned forward and took my hands in his. “But if we’re not ready, we’re not ready, and that’s totally fine. I just thought I’d mention it since it’s been on my mind.”

Helping kids in foster care—many of who were exactly where Jake had once been—meant so much to him. He loved the opportunity to help. Some of the kids didn’t want that, but a lot of them bonded with Jake. He did his best to be there for them if they wanted to talk, even long after they left our home. When we were lucky we got graduation announcements a few years later.

I didn’t doubt his instinct in the slightest. Which is why I didn’t need to think. “We’ll give it a go. If it feels too soon, we’ll go back on pause until we know we’re ready.”

His eyes lit up, taking me in as if I were some strange mystery apparition that had suddenly appeared before him. “Yeah?”

Silly man. Didn’t he know he could conquer the world if he set his mind to it? And when the two of us worked together? We were unstoppable. I loved that Max and Sam were growing up in a home that set that kind of example.

“Why not?”

He bounced his eyebrows.

14

JAKE

Jake’s Journal

It’s a miracle. Greg is getting married today. When we first met all those years ago working for Uncle Tom I never, ever would have imagined Greg being happy, let alone happy and in love.

To be fair, I couldn’t imagine that for myself either. Not back then. We were both jaded and angry. Life had dealt us shit to deal with. It was a dark tunnel that had no end.

Until it ended. I know that Greg is the only reason I got up the courage to come home. I had done the work but I was too scared that I would hurt Eve again. That fear paralyzed me. If he hadn’t pushed me I wouldn’t be here today.

And he wouldn’t be getting married. He came back because he cared so much about helping me that he forgot how much he was hurting. Thank goodness for that. I like seeing pain whither away and die.

I held up my glass of Macallan 35 and looked through the glass tumbler at my best friend. “Do you think Tom could have ever imagined this day?” We were downstairs in a hospitality suite at the Don Cesar. Greg was getting married in less than two hours.

Greg snorted. “Hell no.” Then he made a face. “Well, not this precisely anyway. Your uncle always saw bigger things for both of us, I’m just not sure it involved the two of us becoming so domestic.”

That was an interesting comment. It intrigued me. “Bigger things, huh?”

“Let’s face it, I was always a lost cause, but he wanted you to be the man your dad never was.”

Something weird took hold in my chest. It was dark and it twisted until it was hard to breathe. The scar of having a shitty father was a permanent one. Nothing would ever remove the shadow he cast on my life. “Yeah, I think you’re right.”

“I am right.” He took a massive sip of scotch. “You have this thing in your eyes.” He waved his fingers in front of my face. “That blissed out look. You only get that when you’re thinking about Eve or the life you wanted to have with Eve. The idea of wedded bliss and a herd of kids makes some guys run for the hills. But not you.”

And some guys are sick fucks who use their family instead of getting the help they need to stop being narcissistic abusive assholes.

“You have that look, too.” I raised my glass in a toast. “You always looked a little bit lost until the day you met Marie. And you’re a natural father when it comes to Natalie.”

The smart-mouthed bookworm was a perfect match for Greg.

He nodded and took another sip, but didn’t say anything.

I grinned. Greg Hamilton was too choked up to answer. I leaned forward and clapped him on the arm. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell everyone you’re secretly a teddy bear under all the sarcasm and swearing.”

“Shut up.”

“What?” I laughed. “I said I wouldn’t tell.”

He glared at me. “I just don’t know what to do with all this fucking emotional shit. It sucks.”

“No it doesn’t. It’s awesome. You know it’s awesome. Being alone sucks. It is a sad, boring, meaningless existence.”

He grumped some more and finished his drink. Then he cocked an eyebrow. “You give me hope. I always worried marriage was boring and sexless. That it meant being stuck with someone you don’t like very much.”

I grinned. “If you do it right, marriage is definitely not boring or sexless.” I sat back and finished off my own drink. “In fact it’s usually the opposite. And it’s fantastic.”

The door opened before Greg could say anything crass. Natalie’s father, Brandon, stepped in and closed the door. “I hear the good scotch is in here?”

I poured another glass and refilled both of ours. Since Greg was my best friend and Natalie was now a permanent part of our lives, I had been trying to get to know Brandon because it meant he was now part of our lives, too.

“How’s the jetlag?” They’d flown in from Paris two days earlier.

“Gone. I don’t usually get hit with it like I did this time. Maybe I’m getting older?”

“Is Natalie ready?” She’d been so excited. She usually acted and spoke like an adult, but since she arrived for the wedding she’d been giddy like Max and Sam. I supposed seeing your mom get her happily ever after did that to a kid.

Hell, it was doing it to all of us. Seeing someone who had a good heart and had survived the ups and downs of life, find peace and happiness? It was satisfying no matter how old you were.

“So ready. I’ve never seen her like this.” Brandon’s smile faltered and I had to wonder if it was because he realized that it was another man who’d made Marie and Natalie this happy.

I knew it would do weird things to my head.

“But you’re enjoying seeing more of Natalie?” I thought maybe a change of subject would do everyone some good.

“Yes. Our lives have always been unconventional and I’m the first to admit that I wasn’t ready to be a dad, but I think this is the perfect time for our lives to converge.”

The door opened again. This time it was Andrew, Jennie’s husband, that strode inside. “Room for one more?”

“Always,” Greg said, waving him over.

“Jennie needed a nap and I knew I couldn’t be quiet,” he explained.

I always envied Andrew’s confidence. The man had known from the moment he met Jennie that he would fall in love with her. It wasn’t a question. And he was just as sure about the life they’d have together. Nothing seemed to faze him. Marriage hadn’t scared him, becoming a father had excited him. It was like the man only ever saw the positive in any situation.

Sometimes, when I wasn’t sure what to do, I asked myself “What would Andrew do?” and went from there. He was even sure about my relationship with Eve. He’d barely met us before he pushed Eve into giving me a chance. Where did he get that confidence?

“How’s country life?” I asked. They’d moved out of the city, closer to Lakeland, on five acres.

“Good. We just finished the renovation on the last bathroom so the farm house is officially done.”

“And the kids are happy?”

He grinned. “We barely see them anymore. There is so much room to run around that they spend all their time outside now.”

It seemed like the perfect time to dig around for some insight on the always-confident Andrew. “So, now that Greg’s getting married, what advice do you have for the man who never thought he’d get married?”

He laughed. “You’ve been married longer than any of us. Shouldn’t you be giving him the advice?”

I waved him off. “He’s already heard everything I have to say.”

“Okay,” Andrew said, chewing on his lower lip. “There’s the usual: make her happy or she’ll make you miserable, learn to love romance or your sex life will suck, and of course, never stay angry. It’s not worth it.”

All good advice. I’d given essentially the same words of wisdom. But I selfishly wanted more. If I was going to keep what Eve and I had alive until we were too old to do anything but hold hands and smile about the lives we’d led, then I needed more. So I gave in and asked my question point blank.

“How do you do it, man? How do you just…” I waved my hand through the air, “go with the flow? You’re always happy.”

Greg grunted. “You are freakishly happy all the time. What’s up with that?”

Greg said it like being that happy was a bad thing, but damn did I want to feel that way.

Andrew shrugged. “It’s the only option I give myself. Life moves forward no matter what. I learned that the hard way when my mom died. She was such a positive, happy person. And yet, she was gone. There was nothing we could do about it.”

He leaned back in his chair and sighed, shaking his head. “Before she died she told me that she wanted me to be happy. That it was okay to miss her and it was even okay to feel really sad for a little while, but then I needed to take a breath and get back to my life. That the only thing she wanted was for me to live my life to the fullest and enjoy every second. She’d be there with me and that was how she wanted her memory to live on…through her kids having exceptional lives.”

Greg cleared his throat and looked away. This was way too close to the things he struggled with every day. But Andrew didn’t let the conversation stop on such a heavy note. He kept going.

“So no matter what happens I look for the next step. I focus on what I can do and what is good in any situation. And then I ask myself how I can make it even better. Like when I first met Jake and Eve and I thought they were a couple.”

I grinned at the memory of Eve wringing her hands and getting all flustered. “I think I have you to thank for getting us together.”

“Naw,” he shook his head. “You two were meant for each other. She would have come around eventually. I just gave her a little push.”

That he did. Right into my arms on a hot, rainy afternoon. I adjusted slightly because the memories of that trip were far too sexy to ignore. “See, that’s just what I mean. It’s so black and white to you. We loved each other so we should be together. No doubts.”

“Exactly. What did those doubts do for either one of you? Except waste more time? If you know what you want and what you should do, just fucking do it already.”

“Like becoming a father at eighteen,” Brandon murmured. “If I’d just accepted it and learned to love the life I’d made, I wouldn’t have wasted so much time with Natalie. I could have been a lot happier a lot sooner. Being angry and full of regret didn’t do Natalie or Marie any good.”

Greg still didn’t look back, but he nodded.

I was the worst Best Man ever. Instead of keeping Greg relaxed and happy, I’d walked him straight down Grief Lane.

“Okay, boys. It’s time for the groom to get ready.” I couldn’t take back what I’d accidentally done, but I sure could clean up the mess I’d made.

“Good luck, man,” Andrew said with a clap on Greg’s back.

“Best of luck,” Brandon smiled. “I really do mean that.”

I pushed the door closed and went straight to the scotch. “You can punch me anywhere, even the face.”

He laughed. “I’m not going to punch you. It isn’t your fault that I’m a sad fuck. I think at this point I’ve decided it’s actually part of my DNA.”

He probably had a point. “Still, talking about death and grief when you’re about to get married is not the way to go.”

“I love them both. Jennifer and Marie. It’s different, but it’s not.”

“I know,” I said because I honestly didn’t know what else to say. I hadn’t lost someone I loved.

“I’m actually kind of glad that conversation just happened.” He took the scotch and tossed it back. “I can’t get married without having Jenn here with me, too.” He rubbed his chest. “And I was having trouble with it. I was sitting here just before you came in trying to think about her, but it was making me crazy.”

“Why?”

He shook his head a little. “I couldn’t feel her. I was scared that I’d done something stupid and forgotten how to remember her. I never want to forget her, but I’m marrying Marie,” he sighed. “It’s all so fucking complicated and I don’t know how to deal with any of it. But Andrew said all the right things and now I feel straight with Jenn and the universe.”

Thank goodness for small miracles. I could tell by the relief on Greg’s face that he meant everything he said. “All right then.”

He nodded. “But, if you don’t mind, I’d like to be by myself for a little bit. I have some things to say and some people I want to call before I walk down the aisle.”

“You’ll get me if you need anything?”

And just like that, the old Greg was back. He smirked. “If I need anything it won’t be your sorry ass. I’ll call Eve.”

Which was actually a much better idea. Greg and I were friends, but Eve got that softer side of Greg that he preferred to keep hidden. If he needed help on today of all days, it was most likely Eve who would the one to fix it.

“I’ll be back in an hour.”

“And I’ll be ready.”

15

EVE

“You’re more beautiful to me every day, you know that right?” Jake murmured from the bed. We were in our hotel room getting ready for Greg and Marie’s wedding. I was standing in front of the mirror putting the last touches on my hair and makeup.

I rolled my eyes. “Could you be any cheesier?”

He rolled his eyes right back. “Maybe it sounded cheesy but when a man sees his woman looking at herself in the mirror the way I just caught you looking at yourself, it is his job and duty to remind her what he sees.”

Okay, that was incredibly sweet.

“I’m still learning to love the aging process,” I sighed. Between two pregnancies and a busy career I’d already seen my share of changes on my skin and hair, but it didn’t make it any easier to look in the mirror and see the differences.

It was so, so weird what the body does.

“Really?” Jake asked, sounding surprised for some reason. Did he not know that all women worried about looking old?

“Yes, really. I’m not grey and wrinkly yet but my boobs—” I lifted them up in my dress, “are not where they used to be and my cheeks—” I pointed at the spot where my skin was softer that it used to be, “look like my mother’s now.”

Jake lifted a brow. “Have you not noticed the grey in my hair? At least you don’t have that.”

Had I noticed? I gave him a closer inspection. Sure enough…Jake had a smattering of grey mixed in with his dark brown locks. “Huh. When did that happen?”

He shrugged. “Not sure.” He took advantage of my proximity and pulled me down into his lap. “But none of it matters. You’re still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and you always will be. I like that you aren’t the same as when we first met. We were really young.”

Eighteen and naïve but with really amazing hair. “You don’t want my tight perky breasts back?” I laughed, but realized as soon as the sound escaped my mouth that it was a lie. I wasn’t carefree or making a joke—I was genuinely worried that Jake wouldn’t lust after me when we were older. That we’d lose the spark.

“May I?” He raised his hand to my dress.

I was all ready to head downstairs, but I gave him a nod. I’d already stepped right into a steaming pile of emotions, why not go crazy and let him open my dress?

He slowly slid the side zipper down on my soft yellow strapless sundress, then folded the front forward, exposing my breasts. He palmed them, massaging and groaning in the back of his throat. “Babe? How could you ever doubt how I feel about these? You know how much I love your breasts.”

It was true. Jake worshipped them.

He looked up and into my eyes. “They are the perfect size to fit in my hands. They are small enough that you still go braless under sundresses,” he groaned appreciatively, “and sensitive enough that when I do this,” he gently sucked my right nipple into his mouth and swirled his tongue. As if by command my core clenched and I wrapped my hand around Jake’s bicep to steady myself. I moaned without thinking anything beyond yes. He pulled back and grinned. “You respond like that.”

“I’m sorry. What were we talking about?” I still had my eyes closed. Could we skip the wedding and spend the day in bed? Max and Sam were with June downstairs rehearsing their march down the aisle. She could keep them, right?

Jake chuckled. Then he used his index finger to trace along my skin. “I don’t notice whether they are as ‘perky’ as they used to be. I see how beautiful they are. I remember every amazing thing we’ve done together. I remember the children we made while I gave you pleasure. I see the life you brought into my world. These stretch marks?” He kissed the jagged white lines that I received as a gift of suddenly having enormous breasts at the end of my pregnancy with Sam. “They are beautiful. They’re a part of you and the life we’ve lived together. So don’t for one second think that I will ever look at you—any part of you—and see anything but love.” Then he bit his lip and grinned. “And lust. God, woman. I will still want to hump you when we’re a hundred. I can promise you that.”

The mental image of our bodies tangled together forever was beautiful. “I like the sound of that.”

“Me too. I like moving forward. I don’t ever want to go backward. And I love that we’re doing it together.”

Fuck. He was so damn sweet I couldn’t stand it. A little tear formed in the corner of my eye. “I love you.”

“Oh darlin’,” he kissed the corner of my eye, stealing my tear. “You’re not supposed to cry until Greg does.”

And then I laughed. Jake could take away my fears, make me feel loved and lusted after, then make me laugh all in the span of a few minutes. He was magical.

“My money is still on both of them crying the minute the minister starts talking.” Beneath all of Greg’s bluster and gruffness was the most emotional man I’d ever met. That was probably why he hid under so many layers.

“Really?” he asked. “I don’t think Marie is going to cry at all. I think she’s going to be like you.”

“Me?”

He bounced his eyebrows and zipped my dress back up. “I remember every second of our wedding day and you, my love, never stopped smiling.”

* * *

We were both wrong. Greg beamed through the entire ceremony while Marie sniffled, but never actually cried. Then she beamed through the entire reception and Greg kept sniffling—and even went to full-on tears during his toast. I blame Jake for that. The man had a way with words and poor Greg was a sitting duck.

The ceremony took place under the shade of palm trees. Max glided down the aisle throwing rose petals like fairy dust. She even twirled at the end, her little ringlets bouncing and glinting in the sun. She was definitely going to be my outgoing child.

Sam followed right behind her in a far too grown up looking yellow dress. Instead of ringlets her hair had waves like mine. When did that happen? She smiled at everyone, then twirled just like her sister.

Maybe not so old after all.

Marie’s daughter, Natalie, walked her mother down the aisle. She was nearly as tall as her mother and wore a beautiful light blue dress.

Beside her, Marie wore white. It was a simple, low cut, sexy spaghetti strap dress that was perfect for a beachside wedding but still high-end enough that it was very clearly a formal gown for a special day.

Greg stood beside the minister in gray slacks and a yellow shirt that matched the one Jake was wearing. He wore a jacket to match his slacks, but no tie. The minute he laid eyes on his bride his whole face lit up.

Greg came to life the day he met Marie. We all knew something had changed and it didn’t take long for us to realize they were meant to be together. Where Marie was wary, Greg was bold confidence. Where Greg was gruff, Marie was soft. They just…fit. It was a beautiful thing to see them come together as a family.

Cocktails were served on the patio and the reception took place on the beach pavillion. Large grills were covered in clams and oysters steaming under burlap sacks. Crab, shrimp, and fish were served in every imaginable combination. Laughter and stories filled the air. It was a perfect day just as it was.

Then the speeches started.

Jake stood in front of the group with a beer in his hand. He stared at it while the silence settled around us. “I thought I was alone in the world. I had no family, no friends, and I was too messed up to matter to anyone.”

Max and Sam were busy building a sandcastle, not paying any attention to their father’s story. I watched them innocently playing with the shells and sticks they gathered and said a silent prayer of thanks that Jake found his way back to me.

“And then I met Greg,” Jake said. “And I found a brother. Life is so much fuller when it’s shared. He taught me that. I am very grateful that after a lot of fighting and denial, he allowed me to return the favor. This guy is…well we all know he’s a loveable lug who doesn’t know just how much he means to each of us. He’s special and so are Marie and her daughter, Natalie. They’ve made our little ragtag family complete. May your lives be as filled with love as mine has been with Eve. Thank you, Greg, for everything you’ve given me, and thank you Marie, for everything you’ve given Greg.”

I may have gotten a bit teary eyed during his speech, and I definitely cried a little when Jake wrapped his strong arms around me and nuzzled his nose into my neck.

“Beautiful speech.”

“Thank you, darlin’.” He nuzzled in deeper.

Then Greg stood up, rubbing his face.

“Is Greg…?” I gasped.

“Yep,” Jake said with a nod. “He is.”

Wow. I never thought I’d see the day Greg cried, but there he was, sniffling into a glass of Knob Creek as he attempted to thank everyone for coming.

“If you’re here, you’re family. We planned this day with love and friendship in mind. Marie and I didn’t find each other early in life, but that means we really understand how important and valuable it is to love each other to the fullest. Life is just starting for us. Marie, babe, thanks for waking me the hell up and giving me the most amazing daughter a man could ask for. The two of you are the light of my life and I’m the luckiest fuck that ever lived.”

Greg had a special way with words. He made the foulest language sound sweet. I nestled closer to the man who made me the luckiest fuck that ever lived.

“See?” he whispered in my ear, sending a cascade of tingles down my spine. “We’re not getting older,” he nipped my earlobe and shot a jolt of electricity straight to my core, lighting my entire body on fire for him, “we’re still getting started.”

16

EVE

Everything was lovely for the rest of the summer. The Rays were winning more than they lost, Josh and I fell into a rhythm of trading off stressful responsibilities, and the girls each grew an inch. Which meant Sam needed entirely new clothes for first grade.

But more importantly, Jake and I were fine. The Senator’s campaign kicked off without any mention of us, and no reporters had come sniffing down dead-end trails. We worked, enjoyed the Florida summer, and loved each other in every way possible.

Things were quietly wonderful. Too quiet.

“I can pick up the order from the store on my way back from lunch if you want.” Zoe offered.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to ruin your afternoon.” Standing in back-to-school lines could put anyone in a bad mood.

“Totally. I’m in creative mode so I’m going to be doing all my errands with my headphones on anyway. I won’t even notice the crowds.”

Sam had tiny little hips and preferred a skinny cut of shorts that I could only find at one store. I bought as many pairs as I could and had them shipped direct to the store just in time for school on Monday. Nothing like cutting it close.

Zoe and I reviewed the new schedule we were starting with the school year over afternoon tea. Jake and I were both taking the girls on the first day, but after that Zoe was stepping in for a couple of weeks while Jake and I were both swamped with work.

It was probably this distracted chaos and the change in everyone’s schedules that threw us all so completely off when the unexpected happened. It was Wednesday when we missed the first signs. I was in bed reviewing the plans for Senior Night at the Trop on Thursday, half listening to the music in my right ear bud, half listening to Jake babbling about everything on the internet beside me. It was such an incredibly normal night for us: kids sacked out early from a busy first week back at school, the house locked up tight and all the lights off except our bedside lamps, Jake in boxers, me in a tank top and briefs, snuggled up in our fluffy bed trying to finish up our obligations to the outside world so we could get some sleep.

“The Senator is polling well in all the early states,” Jake said.

“He’s a shoe-in,” I mumbled back. At some point in the last month I’d decided the best course of action was to assume that Jake’s grandfather—the girls great grandfather—was the next president.

Like whoa. This was an actual thing and I was going to have to get used to it.

“There was a fight in the Jags locker room today?”

I nodded, slipping into the number of ticket sales instead of the details of the fight. “Marie had to drive up after lunch. Ronson is one of hers.”

“Have her over for dinner on Sunday?”

That pulled me out of my numbers. I snorted and shot him a look. “You want the inside scoop?”

He shrugged. “What’s the point of having friends with really cool jobs if we don’t take advantage of those perks?”

I shook my head. “Funny, that’s the exact same reason my suite is almost always full these days.”

“You say that like you don’t love it.”

He had a point. I liked seeing the family suite busy and filled with our friends and family—even if I did get a lot more last second text messages from people asking for seats than I used to. “I’ll send her an invite. You can let Greg know.”

We returned to what we’d been doing. I was getting sleepier and my lids drooped. Jake didn’t help matters any when he started massaging my thigh with long, strong strokes of his thumb.

“Huh, there’s a storm brewing south of Cuba,” he murmured so low I almost didn’t hear him.

“Mmmm?” I clicked my iPad off and tucked it into my bag on the floor, plugged in my phone, and took a sip of water.

“The computer models are jacked. They look like a flying spaghetti monster. Some have it headed toward Cancun, these others point it up into the panhandle as a Category five, and this model here has it sitting on top of Cuba for the rest of the week.”

I slid between the covers, yawning. “It’s too early. Give it another day before you start worrying about bread and milk.”

Jake started stroking my hair as I drifted off into dreamland. The last thing I heard was his quiet reply. “I’m more worried about losing the house than whether we have bread.”

* * *

I missed our morning meeting because I was having breakfast with a supplier at Grace’s coffee shop in downtown Tampa. It meant I got a glorious extra hour of sleep, but it also meant listening to differences between products printed on color versus products printed on white, for far longer than necessary. I had to hand it to Jenna, she was really enthusiastic about her job. I, however, just wanted to know how much it was going to cost to give every fan at the “End of Summer” game a bright blue baseball.

“All right. Ten thousand of the navy on white and ten thousand of the white on navy. Got it.” She clicked her nails against the screen of the iPad in her hands. “So, can I ask you a personal question?” She glanced up.

“Sure,” I shrugged, glancing at my smart watch. The morning meeting must be over because the avalanche of emails had started. I switched it to quiet mode.

“I just moved to Florida three months ago so this will be my first hurricane. What do I need to do? Should I go straight to the store?”

The vaguest memory of Jake mentioning a storm forming near Cuba flittered through my mind and I shrugged. “Don’t worry until there’s something to worry about. Most storms either miss us entirely or just turn into two days of nonstop rain. But it’s just good practice to always keep water, food, and batteries in the pantry. You’ll need them more for the afternoon thunderstorms we get in late August and September than you’ll need them for a hurricane.”

Her lips turned down in a slight frown. “How many have you been through?”

I shrugged. “I have no idea. We only count them if you have to hide in a closet—and I’ve only done that twice—but I don’t think that’s what you’re asking. There’s usually one or two a year that pass over as a bad storm or we get the edges of an honest to goodness hurricane as it passes by. Tampa hasn’t taken a direct hit from a hurricane since I’ve been alive.”

Even as I said the words I felt the ominousness of what I’d said. Anyone who lived on the low-lying parts of Tampa Bay knew the warnings and storm surge maps by heart and it felt like I’d just sent a curse down from the hurricane gods. I silently calculated storm damage from a direct hit hoping to balance the universe.

“So Tropical Storm Claudia?” she drawled.

“Is probably not going to be nearly as exciting as she sounds on television.”

* * *

“We’re canceling the game,” Josh said as he slammed my office door.

I froze, my hands just above my keyboard, and stared at him. The words didn’t quite compute. We’re canceling the game. Nope, still didn’t understand what he was trying to say.

“Excuse me?”

“The game…” he waved his hand through the air in a large arc. “We have to cancel it. Buckle up, we’re in for a bitch of an afternoon.” He popped his hands onto his hips, pushing back his suit jacket.

Maybe my coffee had backfired. Instead of waking me up it was turning my brain into sludge. “Tonight?” We had a 6:30 game against Toronto. It was Senior Night.

Josh scowled at me. “Yes, Eve. Tonight. I’ve already had Rogers start in on the press releases and website. Can you organize the text messages and phone calls to VIP’s and season ticket holders?”

The world started spinning far faster than I could manage. “Hold on. Back up. What the hell is going on?”

Josh’s scowl slowly dissolved into dawning realization. “You missed the morning meeting. And I’m guessing you haven’t checked your messages or, I don’t know, glanced at a television?”

I shook my head as the blood started to drain out of my head. There are times when you know something bad is coming and there isn’t shit you can do about it, but then there are times when a feeling beyond helplessness takes root deep inside. It’s just a little spark. A little niggle. Not big enough to alert your consciousness of real impending danger, but just enough to make you wonder if you should trust your instincts. The ones screaming that this is bad despite having zero evidence to support the argument.

Josh sighed and rocked back onto his heels. “Claudia formed last night near Cuba and as of this morning she’s a Cat 2 a hundred miles southwest of Naples.”

That didn’t explain why we were canceling a game in St. Pete. “So?”

“So the models are all over the place and can’t keep up with what she’s doing, but damn near all of them have her flying up the Florida coastline today.”

“And we can’t have a stadium full of people on an evacuation route with an unpredictable storm just off the coast,” I said half under my breath, my mind already off on a thousand different thoughts. After what Hurricane Charley did we couldn’t take a chance with the game.

“Exactly. We’re canceling and rescheduling a double header for Saturday. Toronto is moving hotels to Orlando as a precaution. I’m sure it’s nothing. With any luck we’ll be fielding calls and emails from pissed off fans pointing out that the weather was gorgeous for tailgating and we’re all a bunch of assholes for ruining their night.”

I rolled my eyes and steeled myself for the inevitable. “You owe me a night at Bern’s if I make it though the week without telling anyone off.”

He barked a laugh as he yanked my office door open. “I’ll even throw in dessert.”

“Cocky!” I yelled.

“Not cocky, just damn sure there isn’t a chance in hell I’ll lose this bet.”

17

JAKE

I’d never seen people move so fast. The calls came in from the county thirty minutes ago and my mobile disaster team was already ready to go.

“Good luck,” I said, smacking Darrell, my team leader, on the back. “Hopefully this will be one big long boring weekend.”

He shook his head, obviously as doubtful as I was. The minute I saw the news last night I got this feeling things were going to be bad.

“Either way, this is exciting.”

It really was. This was my pet project and I was glad that it was finally getting a test run. Between my work overseas and my own personal interest in materials, I’d proposed a mobile disaster team of trained engineers to go into disaster zones with the support of local emergency responders. We lent our expertise with building collapses, flood zones, and infrastructure, and had been developing new products to assist with damage control.

“It’s just the beginning,” I cautioned. There was still a long road to go. First we needed to prove that we were an asset and not a burden.

“Gotta start somewhere.”

And then my team hit the road. I went to Greg’s office for an update on the storm. He looked up as soon as I stepped in the doorway.

“It doesn’t look good,” he grumbled.

“Still a category two?”

“Yes, but it’s growing. It looks alive. Watch this.” He spun his laptop around so I could see the radar over the last twenty-four hours. I had to admit, the way it grew, became a tightly wound storm with a perfect eye, and then seemed to pulse and grow, made it look alive.

“Have the models changed?”

He tilted his head to the side. “I think we’re going to have to assume this will hit us. There’s no way we’ll have time to prepare if we wait.”

Well that settled that. “I’ll get the factory floor shut down and we’ll batten down the hatches.”

He gave me a nod. “And we should probably start thinking about a plan for ourselves.”

“That’s easy. We evacuate to Jennie and Andrew’s. But first, we get things ready here. If we start now we’ll have plenty of time for everything.”

The look on Greg’s face said he thought I was crazy. Just to be sure I sent Eve a text just before I headed into the factory.

18

EVE

I cracked my neck and counted to ten. “Yes, sir. I understand that you were entertaining clients from Japan, however there is nothing I can do about the weather. We will—”

“Miss,” Mr. Harvey Watts of the Watts Car Dealership clipped at me for the third time during our brief two minute phone call, “there is no amount of food or drink that can make up for the opportunity I am missing because you are being ridiculous. I am a born and bred Floridian and we do not stop business because there is a little bit of rain in the Gulf. You’re being a bunch of pansies!”

I lost it after that. Josh’s promise of dinner and dessert was nothing compared to the asshole on the other end of my line.

“Mr. Watts. I am a third generation Floridian and I can tell you without a doubt that you are being unreasonable. Floridians respect the power of lighting and hurricanes because they’ve lived through it. Anyone who doesn’t is an idiot. Are you saying you’re an idiot?”

He sputtered. “Excuse me, Miss?”

“And don’t call me miss. The way you say it is condescending, as if you believe being a car dealer and a man makes you more important that a silly girl working in baseball. I will have you know I am an executive with more sports experience than you have in your little di—” the phone was yanked out of my hand.

“I apologize Mr. Watts. Your comp food and beverage tickets will be waiting for you at Will Call on Saturday. Good afternoon.” Josh said clearly, hanging up the phone.

I glared at him. “I’d yell at you for taking the phone, but instead I’ll say thank you for not letting me finish that word.”

He set the phone in the cradle and leaned against my desk. “I really hope you were about to say dimple, but I’m pretty sure you weren’t.”

I leaned back in my chair and grinned. “I hadn’t decided whether I was simply going to say dick, or go one up and say dickhead.”

He groaned and put his face in his hands. “You can’t do that Eve. Not even with Harvey, who we all know is the biggest dickhead with the littlest dick of them all. I never should have asked you to call him. I still remember what you said to him at the banquet.”

I shrugged. “He deserved everything I said to him at the banquet and he had no idea I was the same ‘girl’ who gave him a public tongue lashing for disrespecting his arm candy.”

Josh grunted. “Yeah, he doesn’t strike me as the type to remember. Don’t all women look alike?”

“Oh no. I’m sure he probably remembers their breasts.” I waved my hands in front of my chest.

“I’ve got to go lose my lunch now and call my wife. She needs to hear that I love and respect her.”

“You’re a good man,” I called after him.

It was then that I checked my phone and saw all the missed calls and texts from Jake. I bypassed reading and called him immediately.

“Finally,” he sighed.

“What’s up?”

“Have you checked the weather?”

“Nope, I’ve been busy being insulted.” I clicked over to my browser and opened my favorite hurricane app.

“Well, I think it’s time we come up with a contingency plan.”

“Contingency plan—” I cut off my own question as the map loaded in front of me. “Holy mother of…”

“I know. And the models are still all over the place but Eve?”

“Yeah, contingency plans.” Hurricane Claudia was now a Category Four hurricane that had somehow managed to double in size since the morning. She was sitting almost stationary off of Fort Myers, well to our south, but it was anybody’s guess where the massive storm would turn next.

“Have you talked to my dad yet?” I whispered. They were so close to the storm.

“Winds are bad and pushing ashore. They’ve closed everything up, moved the boats into dry dock and are putting up the last of the hurricane shutters now. They’re headed north as soon as they can.”

“Getting off the island is the first order. That should mean just about everyone trying to leave at once. That’ll be chaos, but once they hit the mainland they should be home free. No one down there evacuates.”

“I told them to stay at our house tonight,” Jake said, “and we’ll all head over to Jennie and Andrew’s in the morning.”

I clicked though the different hurricane models as I listened to Jake’s plans. “School will be cancelled tomorrow so that won’t be a problem. You already settled this with Andrew?”

We’d always joked it would be our hurricane disaster plan, but had never had a reason to test it out.

“He’s already filled the gas cans, checked the generators, and stocked the pantry. Jennie is making sure all the guest beds are ready. It’s going to be a full house.”

And all that with a newborn at home. A newborn not named Eve. I supposed Avery was a nice name, too.

I took one last look at the computer models, but finding no clear answers I shut down the browser and leaned back in my chair. “Well it sounds like you didn’t need any of my help after all.”

“I do need a little bit of help,” he said. “Since the game is cancelled I was hoping you could get back to the girls early? We’ve got a lot to prepare here still.”

Spencer, Hamilton, and Associates had a factory on the bay that would have to be put into hurricane lockdown, not to mention the crews dedicated to damage control after a hurricane. They would be gearing up and heading out of town to stage with the electric crews. Jake would have his hands full until well after dinner.

“Yeah, no problem. They’ll want us all out early anyway. Half the staff lives down south and they take the Skyway home.”

“That’ll be closed tomorrow.”

“No doubt,” I agreed. “Good luck, babe. I’ll let you know when I leave.”

The line was quiet for a moment. “I love you, Eve. Stay safe.”

My heart skipped a beat. Did Jake have the same weird feeling that I had? “I love you, too. Good luck.”

* * *

The evacuation routes were jammed full of evacuees heading north. Apparently I was right when I yelled at Harvey Watts: we did learn to respect our storms. At least after Hurricane Charley. I was pretty sure visions of Katrina were dancing through a lot of heads, too. While Charley had been a powerful hurricane, it was a tight little storm that moved fast. Claudia, on the other hand, was massive and looked a heck of a lot more like the storm that destroyed New Orleans.

That was what was scaring me. Tampa hadn’t taken a direct hit as long as I’d been alive. That meant there were hundreds of homes in old Tampa neighborhoods that had never been forced to come up to hurricane code. Dozens of neighborhoods, including the island we lived on, were in the flood zone. A large storm like this, if it hit right into, or north of the bay, would push in a storm surge that would wipe out everything.

“Pack anything they love, Zoe.”

Her brown eyes widened for a moment. “Yes, of course.”

“We can replace clothes, but not stuffed animals.”

She giggled because of course we could replace stuffed animals, but not the sentiment that was attached to them. “You really think the storm might hit us?”

I shrugged. Hurricane Claudia had finally started moving north not long after I got off the phone with Jake and the computer tracking models were starting to come into a little bit of consensus, pointing to a northern landfall in Pensacola.

“I know hurricanes can change their minds at the last minute and since we’re on this particular one’s warpath and we happen to live in a house it could rip to pieces, I’d rather get the hell out of here until it passes.”

She nodded quickly and stuffed two of Sam’s favorite books in beside her bear and giraffe. “Didn’t you just renovate this house a couple of years ago?”

“We did, and it is as prepared as a house can be, but that won’t hold back the flood waters.” The automatic hurricane shutters were already in place over everything and the lawn furniture and toys all stowed away. We could ride out the wind if we had to.

“Do you think my apartment is safe?” She cleared the entire shelf of baby mementos.

“I don’t know.” I didn’t know anything. Not even when Jake would be home. It left me feeling incredibly unsettled.

“Well, then I guess it’s a good thing I left everything back home.”

“That’s right, you said you moved in with three boxes and a couch.”

She laughed hard, probably trying to shake the weird feeling we were shooting back and forth across the room as we shoved the girls’ favorite things into bags. “Yeah, I slept on the couch for two months before I finally got off my ass and ordered a real bed.”

“Are you just that low maintenance or was there more to it?”

She paused, staring at Max’s favorite t-shirt in her hands and it struck me that despite the number of hours we spent together Zoe had given me very little detail about her life.

“I—” she stammered. “I picked up and ran one day. I don’t think I noticed I was sleeping on a couch until my back started hurting.”

“What were you running from?” I tried to play it off as casually as possible. Talking about the hard stuff wasn’t easy when an overly curious employer was staring you down.

She shoved Max’s shirt in the bag and zipped it up. “I guess hiding things like this from the two of you is pretty pointless, all things considered.”

Well that grabbed my interest. I gave her my full attention. Zoe stood there so tall and brave, her shoulders back and chin high. It was as if she were pretending to feel stronger than she actually was. The Superwoman pose.

“I was in a bad relationship and I woke up one day and realized that was my life. My whole life. For the rest of my life. Unless I did something. And I knew that if I hesitated for even a moment, I’d never follow through. So I packed three boxes, got in my car, and drove straight to Tampa. I crashed on my college roommate’s couch until she finished moving in with her boyfriend at the end of that week. She left me the couch and the lease.”

“And you started over.”

She nodded once. “Best day of my life.”

“Is that when you started writing?”

A huge smile split her face, lighting her up from the inside out. “Finally, yes. It’s amazing the things you’ll try when you think you have nothing left to lose.”

I gave Zoe a big fat hug. “Don’t ever hide stuff like that in this house.”

She squeezed me back and let go. “Yeah, I realize that. It’s nice to have people around who understand that life is complicated.”

Just then my phone vibrated in my pocket. I silently hoped it was Jake, glancing at my watch as I slid my phone out of my pocket.

It was my mom.

I think Zoe saw the stress I was holding in because she gave my arm a pat on her way out the door. “I’ll just throw all this in your car and help the girls get their shoes on.”

I gave her a smile and took a deep breath before answering the call. “Hey Mom. Still stuck on the highway?”

“No, we’re moving again. They finally turned the southbound lanes around. Eve? I don’t think we’re going to make it to you before the storm hits. We’re headed straight to Jennie.”

“Is it turning?” I hadn’t checked the news since I dashed upstairs but the storm suddenly taking a hard right turn into Tampa was my biggest fear.

“It is. The wind is already picking up.”

That was when I heard how much strain was in my mother’s voice. They’d accidentally gone through Charley and it had left its mark on my parents. Being stuck on a highway during a much bigger and slower moving storm was not the way my mother wanted to experience another hurricane.

“I’m putting the girls in the car now and we’re headed straight to Jennie’s.”

“As long as you get off that island and through downtown…”

My heart sank. “It’s moving that fast?” I fumbled for the television remote, missing the button several times before I finally turned the damn thing on. The voice of the meteorologist filled the room. An angry red information ribbon scrolled evacuation information across the bottom.

And there in the middle of the screen was Hurricane Claudia, moving straight toward my little house and everything I held dear at an impossibly fast speed.

19

JAKE

The same annoying sound of doom honked at me through the phone speaker for the twentieth time in a row. The cell phone lines were officially overloaded and despite trying non-stop, I couldn’t get through to Eve.

It made me insane.

We’d run into one problem after another as we put the factory into lockdown, which prevented me from leaving any earlier. And now that I could actually leave the storm was turning. I probably wouldn’t have time to make it home and if Eve hadn’t left yet she would be better staying in the house. Unless she had already left. In which case I sure as hell hoped she could make it to Jennie’s house.

So basically I was driving myself insane with worry over all the things I didn’t know. I needed to focus on what I could do. Which at the moment was direct my anger at Greg.

“What?” he barked.

“This is all your fault.” His wife was safely home in a neighborhood that wasn’t directly in the path of wind coming in off the bay and it was just barely out of the flood zone. Greg seemed like the perfect person to be angry at right then.

He sighed. “It is not my fault. I’m pretty this is God. Get angry at him.”

But it wasn’t God or anything else. It was nature and life. Hurricanes happened. Good people were always in the way of the storm. This time it happened to be us.

“I’m going to try and get home before the storm hits.”

Greg scowled at me. “And get yourself killed in the process? No. You’re staying right here where it’s safe.”

I needed to hear it from someone else. “Fine. Since you are the knower of all things, tell me what Eve’s doing. Do you think she got out?”

He frowned and gave my question some serious thought, which I appreciated.

“I do. She knows how these things work and that your house, while it is lovely, would not stand up to a hurricane like this. She would have grabbed the girls and gotten the hell out of Dodge.”

That was what I thought, too. “So the only question at this point is how far she’ll get before the storm hits.” Fuck it hurt to think of all the different scenarios. This could go wrong in so many ways.

But it could also go right. She could have left in time. She could make it to Jennie and Andrew’s and already be snuggled up with the girls eating dinner with our friends.

I decided that was what I needed to focus on even if it wasn’t true. Otherwise I was going to go half-insane with worry before the storm passed. And then what help would I be if they needed me? No, the only option was to hope for the best.

“Can I ask a really uncomfortable question?” Greg asked.

By the way he was keeping the desk between us I was absolutely positive I wasn’t going to like this uncomfortable question one little bit, but if it was important enough for him to bring it up then it was important enough to listen to.

“Shoot.”

He swallowed and fisted his hands before speaking. “Have you thought about your mother?”

I think I saw black for a minute. Partially because simply hearing her name was enough to shoot my blood pressure into the stratosphere, and partly because of the feeling that I wasn’t a good person since I didn’t think about her being in the path of a potentially deadly hurricane.

Greg held up a hand. “I’m only asking because I know her house is in the flood zone and I’m pretty sure she is such an awful human being that no one would have helped her evacuate.”

“Charlie would have. If he had time,” I bit out. Charlie wasn’t just a private investigator. I paid him to monitor and take care of all the things that had anything to do with my mother.

“Good,” Greg said, and let it drop at that.

But the thing was…I couldn’t quite drop it. Not that fast. I didn’t want anything to do with her, but she was my mother. I did the bare minimum. I made sure someone knew what she was up to. That person would never ever be me again and I needed to remind myself that it was okay. If finding out the Senator was my grandfather and that I actually had an extended family did anything for my life, it was to remind me that the measures I’d put in place to keep my mother out of my life were there for a very good reason.

Maybe my bare minimum wasn’t enough, but it was what I could offer. Lydia made her choices and it wasn’t on me to make sure she survived.

Eve, Sam, and Max, on the other hand were my responsibility.

And it absolutely sucked that the only thing I could do was sit and wait.

“Maybe I should to drive home anyway,” I blurted out.

Greg shook his head. “Eve will kill me with her bare hands if she finds out I let you walk out of here. So here’s how it works. You will not leave this building until the storm passes. You may try to call her as many times as you wish. You will not be this big of a pain in the ass the entire time we’re trapped here, and you will see your family again when this is all over if you follow my instructions.”

I hit the call button one more time and sat my ass down on Greg’s couch to wait out the storm.

20

EVE

We were stuck in chaos. Despite the best efforts of the police, the streets leading through downtown Tampa to the interstate were gridlocked. It wasn’t quite dusk yet, but the sun had been obliterated from the sky by a thick blanket of clouds. It was windy and it was wet, but not raining. It was more like Mother Nature was throwing rain balls randomly through the air—just enough to keep things damp, but not enough to make it miserable.

“Water?” Max asked from the backseat. Both girls were strapped into their car seats. We had a movie playing to keep them distracted, but it was dinnertime and they were hungry.

“Just a sip, sweetie. We can’t stop for the bathroom, remember?” I’d explained a dozen times that we’d eat and drink later, that there were no bathroom breaks or playtime, but Max wasn’t quite understanding. Sam, on the other hand, was quietly freaking out behind me. Thank goodness for Zoe. She was doing her best to handle the girls while I tried like hell to get us to higher ground.

My phone rang through the Bluetooth, but I took it by hand so that the girls couldn’t hear. “June!”

“Hey, sorry I didn’t call back right away. I’m safe at Jennie’s. Any word from Jake?” June had left work hours earlier to help bring supplies over.

“No.” I will not freak out. I will not freak out. I will not freak out. “But we both know the plan. I’m sure he’s just buried under preparations.”

“I’ll let you know when Mom and Dad get here or, if by some bizarre chance, we hear from Jake before you do. Calls are about to get screwy. It took me about a dozen tries before I got through.”

When the towers went down in the wind we’d be out of commission. As it was, the lines were so jammed with callers that it was almost impossible to get a call out.

“And you remember your Morse code and smoke signaling right?”

A joke from when we were kids.

“I do, but I wouldn’t count on smoke signals for at least a couple of days.”

“Won’t matter,” she sighed. “Because you’ll be here.”

I didn’t say what we both already knew. There was no chance in hell we were making it to Jennie’s before the storm got too bad to drive through. “One thing at a time.”

I wanted Jake with me. I was fine and the girls were perfectly safe in my hands, but with Jake I felt invincible. He could leap tall buildings and push concrete columns out of our way.

“I need to go, baby sister. They just opened a lane of traffic.” Which was true, but not good news. This lane wasn’t headed up to the interstate evacuation route. It was headed down surface streets to a mall. Which meant we were out of time.

Zoe spun around excited, but then saw exactly what I did and her eyes hardened. “At least we’re off the island,” she murmured too low for the kids to hear.

“It’s going to be a long night.”

Things were a blur from there. I tried calling Jake one more time and left him a message with our whereabouts when it went straight to voicemail after twenty tries. I did the same to June’s phone before giving up on phone calls all together. I followed the police escort into the mall where we would be forced to take shelter, along with hundreds of other evacuees.

Everyone was polite and generous and I was grateful that Zoe had the foresight to pack us so comfortably. We brought everything we could with us inside in case there was no car to come back to. That meant the girls had pillows, blankets, stuffed animals, and books. We kept the iPads hidden for emergencies.

“If you loved me before, you’re going to want to marry me in a minute,” Zoe hummed.

“Oh yeah? You got hot dogs hidden in there?” For a split second I wished I could stick my middle finger up at Harvey Watts. See? Bad weather.

“Not hot dogs, but pretty close.” She opened what I had thought was a purse and pulled out sandwiches for everyone.

“Is that a lunch bag?” It was adorable. Burgundy with straps just like a purse.

“It’s actually a wine cooler.”

“Yeah!” Sam exclaimed as she shoved a peanut butter and jelly sandwich into her mouth. “And you brought milk boxes? Thank you Zoe!” She hugged her tight, then plopped down next to her sister and shared a bag of Doritos.

“Turkey and cheese. Perfect,” I sighed as I sank my teeth into the bread.

“We’re going to need our strength, and there’s no ice packs in this bad boy, so eat it all.”

Maybe being stranded in a mall during a freak hurricane wasn’t going to be quite so bad after all.

* * *

I didn’t know things could get this bad in twenty-first century Florida. We’d learned so much from hurricanes past, like getting the interstates turned around so that all lanes moved in one direction, mobilizing aid so that food and water arrived immediately after a disaster, not days or weeks later. But things like that didn’t matter as much when a storm moved as fast as Hurricane Claudia had.

I wish I’d gone to Jennie’s earlier. If I’d just grabbed the girls and left as soon as I got out of work we’d be safe. Instead I’d waited. I’d thought we had time. I’d thought Jake would be with us.

It was a costly mistake.

The power went down almost as soon as the hurricane force winds swirled ashore. National Guard arrived to help manage us, which should have been a welcome sight, but instead it made me feel like I’d walked into a war movie.

I didn’t sleep. Instead I cradled Max in my lap while I listened to the end of the world. Zoe sat beside me, shoulder to shoulder with Sam in her lap. We couldn’t see much, but we could feel each other, and that was something.

The building groaned and every so often there would be a bang so loud everyone jumped. I knew some of the sounds—transformers blowing, debris hitting the building—but others were a mystery.

“How much longer can this storm last?” Zoe whispered.

I glanced at my watch. It had already been four hours since they sealed us inside. The storm must have stalled on top of us when it hit land. That was both good and bad. It most likely meant that the storm was being pulled to shreds by being over land instead of the water, but it was bad because it meant it was concentrated right on top of us. There was no way the house would still be there between the buckets of rain and the storm surge that was inevitably being pushed into the bay by a storm that wasn’t moving. At least we weren’t inside it.

I just hoped Jake had left the factory before it hit. I didn’t have the time or the emotional capacity to imagine what the factory was facing right then.

That’s when things took a terrible turn. First there was a bang—much louder than anything we’d heard yet—followed by a long groaning noise. The pops and bangs didn’t stop.

“What in the hell is that?” Zoe didn’t whisper. A noise like that? Something that sounded like the hounds of hell had been released on Earth? Yeah, the time for whispering was over.

Pure terror shot through me. “It’s the roof. It’s going.” Which was precisely why I had chosen to take a ground floor spot in the middle of the building near the stairs.

The groaning turned into screeching as metal was torn apart. The entire building shook and then continued to vibrate. The roar of wind outside kept getting louder. The noise was deafening.

“Is this the wall of the eye?” Zoe shrieked.

For some reason that hadn’t occurred to me. We’d been in the thick of the wind for so long I’d assumed the eye of the hurricane must have missed us or passed over too quickly to notice, but now that she mentioned it, everything had suddenly gotten a thousand percent worse. The storm was strongest, with the fastest winds, in the layers that wrapped around the eye, forming a “wall”. There was a good possibility that Zoe was right.

“Follow me.” The roof was already going and there was no telling what would happen next. I wanted us in the safest place I could find. A corridor surrounded by concrete block was as good as were going to get.

We hunched down against the wall, tucking the girls under our chins. Dozens followed us and a part of me was grateful for the crush of bodies. It was comforting to feel like we were all in this together.

The building continued to vibrate and the sounds somehow managed to grow louder and more eerie. How was it possible for it to sound both human and inhuman at the same time? A chill shot down my spine and I hugged Max closer. She was half asleep. Almost unaware of what was happening other than the fact that her mother was holding her while she slept. She burrowed tighter into my chest.

And then suddenly everything stopped.

“Thank god,” someone said from behind me.

Zoe sighed with relief. “That was terrifying.”

Yet somehow the sudden silence was scarier to me.

“It’s not over,” I said. “If we’re inside the eye it’ll be nice for a few minutes but then…” I didn’t finish my sentence.

I didn’t want to scare anyone as badly as I was scaring myself, but I also didn’t want anyone to think the storm was over. It wasn’t. We were only at the halfway point.

“The roof is gone!” A woman’s voice echoed in from the stairwell. “I can see the stars!”

“Close the door! Are you dumb?” someone else yelled back.

“But it’s beautiful out!” The woman called back. “You should see it!” The she gasped. “Oh, god. No!”

The door slammed shut and a minute later, the wind returned just as hard and intense as it had been the moment before the calm struck.

* * *

I couldn’t move my arm. I’d fallen asleep clutching Max so tightly that my arm was now permanently stuck in that position—not that Max cared.

“Momma you’re hurting me.”

It’s amazing how fast you can move, even when you’re hurt, if you child needs you. “Sorry, baby. Is that better?”

She wrinkled her nose and tried to look around me. “The mall is broken.”

I nodded. “Yes, it is. But it kept us safe all night long. The storm is over now.”

Behind us was a crowded sea of huddled bodies with shell-shocked faces. There had been another two hours of terrible wind after the eye passed, but now it was morning and there was sunlight filtering in from the second floor.

One by one the mass of survivors disentangled themselves and spread out to assess the damage. It was extensive. The roof was, in fact, gone. All of the glass doors and windows had been blown out of the department stores, blowing shards of glass, clothes, and mannequins everywhere.

The parking lot wasn’t any better. Cars were flipped and pushed up against the building. All of their windows had shattered, while some had been hit by large debris that had long since blown on to smash into something else.

But it wasn’t the devastation of the parking lot that was the hardest to take in. It was everything beyond the mall that took my breath away. Everything had been leveled. Some houses were just…gone. Some were left in pieces. Debris was everywhere.

When I looked up, the skyline was different. Power lines, cell towers, billboards, and store signs—they were all gone or twisted beyond recognition. The trees were stripped bare or missing. It was like a giant had come through with a chainsaw and cut everything away.

And even if we found a working vehicle there was nowhere to go. The roads were impassable and the tires would be flat in no time.

“Can we stay outside?” Sam whined.

I felt terrible keeping them cooped up inside, but it wasn’t safe outside. “Not yet.”

She pouted for a minute, then returned to the pallet Zoe had constructed from our blankets to read to her sister.

I turned to Zoe. “Can you watch them for a minute? I’m going to listen to the announcement.”

She shooed me away.

I hadn’t realized how many people had wound up inside the mall with us until we tried to gather together for the announcement from the National Guardsmen. There had to be a thousand of us.

“We’re clearing the roads first, then we’ll be evacuating you all in groups of sixty to a shelter outside the flood zone,” the man in charge bellowed.

So they were still expecting storm surge flooding.

“What do we know about causalities?” An older woman asked.

“We don’t have that information yet, unfortunately. But I can tell you this. You all went through the worst of it.”

I would give anything to have some sort of clue where Jake was.

“Not to sound cliché,” the man continued, “but, we’d like to evacuate mothers and children, along with senior citizens, and anyone with a serious medical condition, first.”

There was some good-natured chuckling from the group and a few jokes about this being the Titanic. I’d have laughed if I didn’t know how much danger we were still in. Fortunately most of these people seemed clueless.

An hour later the first trucks and buses arrived. By then the majority of the crowd had moved outside to get fresh air. They were the ones who wouldn’t be evacuating for a few more hours. Those of us who were at the top of the list, had formed groups inside.

We were in the third group and the girls were completely restless, so I’d started inventing games and tasks for them to complete that didn’t take them very far from me.

“Go run a lap to the water fountain and back.”

“Can I have a sip?” Sam asked.

“No. I doubt they work right now and I don’t think that water is safe even if it does.”

She shrugged and took off with her sister.

“Where do you think they’re taking us?” Zoe asked, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt.

“As long as there’s space for the kids to move without getting hurt, bottled water, and a way to use a phone, I don’t care if they ship us halfway to Miami.”

“You don’t think they will, do you?”

I shrugged. “I have no idea how much this storm tore up. It’s weird being completely out of touch with everything.” I would give just about anything for a news report with radar and video. Anything that would give me a clue as to exactly what we’d just lived through and what we should expect when we finally left.

“It’s so weird being unplugged like this. I can’t remember the last time I didn’t have a phone to check.”

No weather reports, text messages, or news. Nothing. There was no service of any kind, so I’d turned my phone off to save the battery. “They’ll erect some temporary cell towers soon, but the crews all have to have time to move in and work.”

“Is that where Jake is? With the crews coming in to help?”

Instinctively I reached up and rubbed the ache in my chest. “Most likely. They have two disaster teams that support the county.”

“He’s fine then. No need to worry.”

But what Zoe didn’t understand was that I wasn’t worried about Jake’s safety—I mean, I was. I totally was. But I was also almost positive he’d found a safe spot to ride out the storm. It wasn’t his safety that was the problem.

It was ours.

If Jake didn’t know for sure that the girls and I had made it out of town, he’d move heaven and earth to find us. So no, I wasn’t worried about whether or not my husband was alive and well—I was worried that he’d lose his mind trying to find us.

“Next group!” a very nice young man yelled. We shuffled forward in our loose line. Two Suburban SUV’s and a school bus were our ticket out of town when they made the return trip back for us. At this rate it would take all day to empty the mall. Maybe they didn’t expect the flooding to be so bad after all.

“I can’t wait to find out if the house made it,” I whispered to Zoe. The girls were all the way over at the fountain, but I wasn’t about to take any chances. I didn’t think it had occurred to them the reason we left was because the house wouldn’t be there when we got back.

She bit her lip. “Where will you live? Will you rebuild?”

I held up my hands. “No idea. Not even a clue at this point.”

I’d never seriously thought about living anywhere else, but if it were bad enough, we might not be able to live on the island. At least not while it was being rebuilt. What if the bridge had been damaged? Would we even be able to get onto the island?

For a split second I let myself imagine all the possibilities. We could sell everything and move to a tropical island the way Jake had always dreamed. Or we could buy a cabin in the mountains. Move to Europe. A beach condo… the possibilities were endless. And pointless.

Until my family was all back in one spot together things like houses were silly.

“I think my parents had enough time to get to Jennie’s so at least there’s that.”

The bus pulled away and the girls sprinted back into line. We waited and waited for the bus to return, so I sent the girls on a scavenger hunt. “Look for all the red things you can find. Count as many as you can and report back to Miss Zoe and me. Are you ready?”

Two adorable bobbing heads.

“On your mark, get set, go!”

And once again they were off.

Just as the south wing of the mall collapsed.

21

JAKE

Jake’s Journal

When I was overseas I used to make up stories about Eve. I had no clue what was going on her life so I imagined what it must look like. I’d come up with three versions that I played over and over. In one she was married and five kids. He was a banker and she stayed home. In another she was married and had two kids. He was a lawyer and they lived in a high-rise that looked over the bay. It was all very urban. In the third scenario she was buried in her work and single. The third scenario was the real one and in my heart I think I always knew that was what she was doing with her life, but I rarely dwelled on it. It revealed what I really wanted and that hurt too much.

“Roger that.” The walkie crackled in my hand. I was buried up to my ass in requests and I was doing my best to send my guys to the ones that were most critical, but all I really wanted was a straight answer on where my family was.

So far no one knew for sure. I pulled a few strings and managed to get ahold of Andrew. The last they knew of Eve and the girls was that they were stuck in traffic in downtown around the time they started evacuating everyone on that side of the interstate into the mall. Since I had nothing else to go on, I was starting there.

“So they’re evacuating the mall to the high school?”

“That’s correct. I’ve put their names at the top of the list. If they arrive there you’ll be the first to know.”

Fat chance. It was chaos. Absolute chaos. Hurricane Claudia had dealt a deathblow to Tampa. Not only was it a category five hurricane when it made landfall, but it had stalled out for over an hour…pretty much right over their house. It was either a good thing because the house sat inside the calm winds at the center, or the worst thing ever because it went through the very nastiest wind the storm had to offer.

The really bad news was that it meant the mall where my family was hiding—most likely anyway—had been taking the shearing side of the storm for hours. I was amazed the mall was still standing. The neighborhoods around it certainly weren’t.

I really didn’t want to think about what was happening. I really, really didn’t want to think about what was still coming. No one could give me a straight answer on the storm surge. The models said one thing, but what was actually happening on the ground was something different.

So either the storm surge wasn’t coming, or it was coming on slowly.

Which meant we needed to be ready either way.

“Chuck, take Ronnie and go help the Guard. They need someone good with structural engineering and you’re the best.”

“No I’m not, but I’ll accept your flattery because I know you’re having a shit day.”

I stared at him.

“And I’ll let you know what we find when we get down there.”

“How?” I laughed.

“I’m with the important people. We’ll get you a message.”

I really doubted it, but hey, why not accept it? They were trying. They were all trying.

“Good luck,” I murmured as he left.

The one bright spot in all of this was that the factory was currently undamaged. Unless we took flooding from the storm surge we were good. Just some cosmetic damage to the outside of the building. It had been a long windy night, but nothing like the winds that had sat to the south of us.

An hour later I got that call Chuck had promised, but it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. “What is it?”

I could practically feel him cringing through the satellite phone. “We’ve just been diverted to that mall you think Eve and the girls are at.”

My hand tightened around the phone as a dozen worst case scenarios flashed through my mind. A primal urge to run directly to that mall—over all the debris and chaos—suddenly ripped through me. “What is it?”

“The roof just collapsed. They’re sending us in to assess.”

And just like that, I lost all feeling in my body. I even think my heart stopped beating. “But they were evacuating. Maybe they already left?”

Chuck was quiet again. “I’ll let you know when I know. In the meantime sit tight, we’re sending a truck for you.”

I ended the call, set the phone down carefully, then punched a hole in the drywall.

* * *

It was hard not to think about my life as I was transported to the mall. I was in another plane of existence, one where I had zero power to control the inevitable. It did strange things to my mind.

I dealt with the shit from my childhood in the best ways that I could. I compartmentalized the trauma and cut ties to my past. It wasn’t gone. I didn’t pretend it didn’t happen. When Eve had a question, I answered it. When the girls wanted to know if I’d done something as a kid, I answered as honestly as I could, No sweetie. Daddy didn’t celebrate Christmas. So it’s extra special to see you open your presents.

I wanted them to understand that life wasn’t perfect. I want them to know me, not a fantasy version of me. Eve didn’t like when I said that—she thinks the man I am now is perfect and fantastic and all those wonderful things you want your wife and children to think about you. It was a difference of opinion on terminology, not fact. So we just agreed to disagree about my vocabulary choices.

But I never intentionally sat around thinking about the past. There was no use in it. Unfortunately my mind didn’t agree that afternoon. The ride to the mall dredged up ancient feelings and despite the fact that there were no similarities between an abusive childhood and a natural disaster the result was the same.

I had no fucking control over what happened next.

“It’s going to be fine,” Greg said, but his eyes didn’t lie the way his words did.

“Please don’t fill the air space just because it’s quiet.”

Greg held onto the handle by the window and shook his head. “I’m not filling air space. I’m saying what I know has to be true. There isn’t another option, so that’s what we’re going with.” Then he turned to look me in the eye. “Plus you look like shit and you’re thinking really hard. Think out loud.”

“I should have run home the minute I saw the storm was turning.”

Greg frowned because yeah, there was no easy comeback for that. I silently dared him to find one.

“You wouldn’t have made it and you wouldn’t be here right now getting a free pass to the frontline.”

Well shit. He had a brilliant point. I took a deep breath and did my best to erase the guilt from my mind, but my hand twitched against my thigh. Every molecule of my being was screaming for the truck to drive faster, to put me in the same zip code as my family.

“I feel…small,” I murmured.

He nodded, but didn’t say anything.

“Like when my dad used to lock me in the bathroom.”

Understanding flashed in his eyes. “You can open this door.”

The helplessness I felt crushing in on me pressed harder against my chest, making it difficult to breathe. Those days locked in the bathroom were like solitary confinement. There was no sense in trying to break out—my dad would have just beaten the shit out of me. All I could do was sit and make up stories in my head, drink water, and piss. Sitting in this truck felt like that. All I could do was sit and make up worst-case scenarios.

Except that when we got to the mall I could do something about what we found there.

The radio crackled to life from the front console.

The driver flicked a nervous glance back toward me. “You okay to hear this?”

I nodded. “I’d like to see you try and stop me.”

He shook his head and picked up the radio. “Go ahead.”

“We need engineering assistance at the northwest corner.”

“Roger that. Northwest corner.”

“Triage is being staged nearby. Can you let your passengers know?”

The driver slid me another glance. “Roger that.”

Triage meant survivors. It also meant Chuck had given them a green light for pulling people out. Except that they’d asked for our assistance and I didn’t know what the hell that was code for.

“Good,” the voice on the other end of the radio said. “Because we’re running out of time and we need everyone at the ready.”

22

EVE

It was cold and it was dark. I was painfully aware that we were in serious trouble but I had no solution. I couldn’t see anything. The darkness was so overwhelming it hurt. I couldn’t even tell if my eyes were open or closed.

“Momma?” Sam whispered. The edge in her voice…well, let’s just say it hurt to hear. Okay, it didn’t just hurt. It sliced a crack right through my heart and into my soul. It would leave a scar there that I’d probably always carry for the rest of my days.

“Yes baby?”

“I can’t see anything.”

“Neither can anyone,” I muttered.

“I hate the dark!” Max wailed. It set the baby beside us off again. And that wailing? It was bone chilling.

The good news was that we could talk. And so far everyone was reporting in healthy and unhurt. We counted off one by one and got to a total of forty.

Forty of us blind and trapped.

We’d been waiting in a corner of the mall not too far from the mall exit where the bus was loading. It was the safest for kids to run around and play. I think it was that concrete box stability that saved us. As the mall collapsed under the buckling weight and damage, this section remained strong. The only question was how long that would last.

Would someone come for us or did we need to find a way out? Would moving make things worse? This was one situation where I felt completely helpless.

“Zoe?”

“Yeah?” her voice was a whisper beside my left ear.

“I’m really sorry.”

She chuckled. “I’m pretty sure this isn’t your fault.”

“I’m still sorry.”

“Is it weird and totally uncalled for that I have full confidence Jake is going to personally drill his way into this?”

Her words zinged straight into my heart beside the crack Sam had just put there. It did something funny and lovely and made me happy. Heck yeah Jake was going to find us.

“Not uncalled for at all.”

“Good.” I could hear the smile even though I couldn’t see it. “Because he totally is.”

And that sentiment is what we held tight to as the minutes stretched into hours and the sounds around us became abrupt and terrifying. I wasn’t positive but it felt like the ground was vibrating from more sections of the mall collapsing.

Why hadn’t we gone outside with the others? Because you thought it was dangerous with all the debris. Funny. It turned out to be a heck of a lot safer.

Okay, maybe funny wasn’t the right word.

And now I had Alanis Morrisette singing Ironic stuck in my head.

“Please don’t hum that,” Zoe groaned. “We may be living that song but no. Just…no.”

“When will we see again?” Sam asked, completely oblivious to the power of the earworm I’d just planted in Zoe’s ear.

I shrugged and then realized that was kind of pointless. “I don’t know, baby. I don’t have a flashlight and no one can seem to find a way out.”

“What about your phone?”

A couple of people had theirs out at first, but then the batteries started dying.

But not me.

I had turned my phone off during the storm to save the battery and totally forgotten it was there. I slid it out of my pocket and powered it back on. “Good call, Sammy. I have half a battery still.” And zero signal or data.

“Can I play Angry Birds?”

“Sure,” I laughed and handed my useless phone over. At least it would be a good distraction. Sam drew a small crowd of people desperate to see and do anything other than sit in the dark and contemplate whether we were going to be crushed before we starved.

I had to admit that I was dying of thirst.

But Angry Birds seemed to have more power than the human need for water.

23

JAKE

I stood in front of a nightmare. The mall looked a lot more like one of the demolition projects I’d worked than a building that had people inside it. The south end of the mall was stripped bare. The roof peeled up like a can of sardines. Signs ripped away from the building leaving only the faded outlines.

And that was the good part.

The north end of the mall was a different story altogether. The roof had collapsed into the second story and the second story had partially buckled under the weight. There wasn’t a pane of glass left intact anywhere. The gas station across the street was nothing but two rows of pumps. The aluminum overhang was gone. The signs were gone. The windows in the cement block building were gone. There was no roof. Just two rows of pumps and the skeleton of the cinderblock walls.

It was the same everywhere we’d passed on the road up to the mall, and it continued for as far as I could see. I wanted to lose my lunch.

“So the east wall is essentially holding everything up?” Greg and Chuck had their heads together looking over a series of digital photographs from the drone they’d flown over the building.

“As far as I can tell, yes,” Chuck replied. “You know how malls are designed, they’re basically an open cavity and the way the roof collapsed…it took out the central support structures. Luckily,” his eyes shot over Greg’s shoulder to me, “all the evacuees had gathered near the east entrance. They are in the only section of the north wing that isn’t buried under a ton of concrete.”

“Can we get any heavy equipment in here to help shore up the wall?”

A half dozen heads started shaking. Of course they couldn’t. Not only was the equipment we’d need nowhere close by, but the debris would make the roads impassible. Fuck, the only option was flying stuff in and that wasn’t going to happen.

“How many are trapped inside?” My voice was barely louder than a whisper—it took too much power to push more air through my lungs and I’d gone into some sort of holding pattern. Reserving all my energy for whatever insanity I was willing to do in order to find my family.

My heart.

The National Guardsman that seemed to be in charge glanced down at a clipboard. “Fifty. They had triaged the evacuees and those on the low priority list had gone outside to wait in the fresh air. Only the final two high priority groups were waiting inside.”

And they’d already confirmed that Eve and the girls were not on either transport that had already left. Which meant there was a very good chance my family was inside a mall that was about to collapse.

“Here’s the bottom line. We have a very short window to find and evacuate the survivors. We need you guys to tell us how to do that safely—or if it can be done safely.”

“And if it can’t?” I asked.

Silence settled over the group. Chuck was the one who finally spoke. “It can be done, but we need an engineer to lead the team. It’s not something we can do from out here.”

“I’ll do it.” That wasn’t a question.

“You’re not a structural engineer,” Greg murmured, chin down and away from the group.

I gave him a pointed look that told him he could go find the nearest lake and jump right on in. “It’s true, I’m not a structural engineer, but I know what I’m doing. And I’m the best there is at creative solutions and thinking on my feet. I’m doing it.”

Eyes swung back to Chuck—the actual structural engineer of the group, the guy who would, most likely, go in without hesitation anyway.

He locked eyes with me and for a few brief moments I wondered if I was going to have to do something stupid like run inside before anyone could stop me, but then Chuck gave me a nod. “He’s more than qualified and I don’t think any one of us is more motivated.”

There were a few grunts of agreement and then it was decided. We geared up in record fashion while Chuck determined the safest point of entry. There was more groaning of metal and the occasional sounds of something giving away, but other than that, the world was oddly quiet. No power and no cars on the highway did that, I supposed.

“Here. We’ll stay in touch the whole way.” Chuck shoved a heavy-duty radio into my hands.

“Thank you for this.”

He patted my arm. “No thanks needed. It isn’t my call to make.”

“Yes it was.” It really and truly was. I may own the company, but Chuck was the expert.

He shrugged. “Go find your family.”

* * *

There’d been this one storm when I was a kid. I was too young to remember what it was called, but it was the first time I got to stay home from school because of a hurricane. It was like a holiday to me because everything was different and my dad was gone the entire day. Maybe my mother was too interested in watching the news to care what I did, I’m really not sure, all I knew was that it was a magical day and I wished for hurricanes every year after that.

I’d never, ever wish for another hurricane ever again.

Of course six-year-old Jake wasn’t actually wishing for a hurricane to come destroy his neighborhood, he’d simply wished for a break from his life.

And that’s where I was different from that kid. I never wanted a break from the life I had now. I’d built exactly the life I dreamed of having and I’d be damned if a freak storm destroyed that.

“Point the light up there where the column is braced against the wall,” I instructed. “I need a better look.”

So far we’d managed to safely clear debris away from the entrance and get inside. The second story was pressing against the final standing walls, but there were large pockets where the collapse hadn’t penetrated into the next cavity. My hope was that by some miracle the evacuees were waiting inside one of these and all they needed was a pathway out.

“How long do you think we have?”

“Based on the fissures and the strength of this concrete?” I crumbled a fist-sized rock and said a silent prayer that there was enough rebar reinforcing the concrete to keep the whole thing from going down. “We might have an hour.”

And it was just then that I heard something, but the crew I was helping was busy debating strategy for getting maximum ground covered in the next fifteen minutes so I couldn’t quite make it out.

“Shhh!”

They all blinked at me like I’d lost my mind. I held my finger to my lips and cocked my ear in the direction I thought I’d just heard music.

Sure enough…

“Is that—”

I grinned. “Angry Birds.”

24

EVE

An hour later, Sam was still playing her game and the crowd around her was cheering her on. Meanwhile I’d quietly spoken with as many adults as I could find in the dark. Unfortunately no one had any brilliant ideas. Everyone had tried his or her phones but there was no signal. As I suspected, the rubble and debris had sealed us in against the inner wall. We knew this because we tried to push our way through one of the stores thinking we could get out through a back door, but nope. It wasn’t going to happen. The second floor had collapsed in on everything but the area we were trapped inside.

I had just settled back down by the gaggle of kids when it hit me that unless we did something drastic, we were going to die in here. Maybe we could go through the stores again. One of them had to be in a better situation than the rest. We just needed a straight shot out of the building.

Of course if it were that easy then someone from the outside would have come for us. It had to be bad. What if the debris has shot outward and hurt the people outside, too? Maybe it was so bad out there that they hadn’t had time to worry about us.

Clearly my mind was capable of imagining every possible scenario—and that wasn’t helpful. I needed to stop wondering about things I didn’t know and focus on the things I did.

I took one last look at Max and Sam happily playing Angry Birds before I worked my way back to the group.

“Anything new?” I asked.

“Bristol thinks we should try to dig our way through the cell phone store,” Bill said.

Bill had two boys the same age as my girls. He was as anxious as I was.

“I like Bristol’s plan. Let’s do it.” It was as good a plan as any.

Unfortunately that plan only lasted about fifteen minutes before we realized we were making things worse not better. As soon as we moved one block or beam more debris rained down to replace it. It was like trying to dig a trench to the ocean between waves.

“Now what?” Bristol asked, panting.

“We try a different store and do it all over again,” I said. Trial and error. Eventually we’d find something that worked. “Let me check on the kids, then I’ll be back. Let’s move to the photography place in the corner.”

“My phone battery is at five percent,” Bristol said. “Who still has some juice?” We were using the phones to light our work.

“The kids are using mine but I can see if we can use Zoe’s phone.” Even as the words were leaving my mouth I could feel a heavy weight of doom settling inside my heart. How much longer could we keep the kids entertained? How long could we go before dehydration and starvation set in? Or would the ceiling come down on us before anything else?

And why the fuck couldn’t I think my way out of this? I was smart and healthy. Yes, this was a freak accident and the deck was stacked against us, but surely I could get us out.

And yet, I couldn’t. I’d exhausted every idea and the reality of our situation was sinking in. And I didn’t think I could handle it.

I was pushing away the dread when suddenly everything changed. The sound of powered machinery filled the air followed by thumping and banging. All of those questions I’d been asking myself had an answer: someone was outside and they were at least attempting a rescue.

I hurried the last few feet to the kids. Zoe grabbed my hand.

“I don’t know whether to be excited or nervous,” she whispered.

“Both. I’m definitely both.” It would be bad luck to think we were safe until every single one of us was outside.

In careful strokes, the machinery cut through the cinderblocks, creating a doorway. The blocks in the middle were pushed, pulled, and destroyed until an exit was created. And then an honest to goodness rescue crew stepped through in special hats and coats and a ton of bright lights.

I recognized the third man immediately. Never in my life have I been so relieved to see someone. Not when Jake suddenly showed up on my lawn after so many years. Not even the first time I looked into Max and Sam’s eyes. All of those moments were special. Important. Life changing.

But none of them compared to seeing Jake walk through that hole in the wall and know we’d all have a future to live together.

“Daddy!” Max squealed, throwing herself into his strong capable arms. She snuggled immediately into the crook of his arm and shoulder. He pulled her in close and murmured something in her hair, all with his eyes locked onto mine.

A second later he bent down and scooped up Sam in his other arm. She immediately burst into tears. But he didn’t stop. He didn’t miss a beat. I stood up on shaky legs just as he got to me and crushed the four of us together in the most overwhelmingly amazing hug I’d ever experienced.

I pressed my cheek to his and slid my arms around his waist.

“Oh thank god,” he whispered.

I nodded, absorbing every drop of comfort his solid chest had to offer.

“Daddy,” Max murmured over and over as she burrowed deeper.

“I’ve got you now baby girl. I’ve got you and I’m never letting you go.” He nuzzled into my ear. “Are you okay?”

I nodded quickly, hot tears stinging my eyes. “Yes. We’re all okay. Are you?” My voice squeaked up a few notches. God, I hoped he was okay. He looked okay. He looked…like my hero, actually. Tall, dark, and determined. He was dirty, that was for sure, but so were we all. His dark hair had chunks of concrete scattered through it, but his green eyes were shining and bright in the lamp light of the rescue crew. He had two-day stubble and the unmistakable smell of a man who’d been working hard to find his family.

It was the sexiest he’d ever been or ever would be.

“Can we get out of here?” I looked up and into his eyes.

“Absolutely. The faster the better.” Then he kissed me solidly on the lips. It sent a shock of relief through me. It was electric and different from anything else. “Oh, baby,” he groaned as he switched to shorter, little kisses. “I missed you. I missed you all. I was so scared.”

“I was too. I’m still scared.” I kissed him back.

Max giggled. “Daddy, why do you keep kissing mommy after you’re done with the words?”

Jake smiled down at me, shaking both our heads at the same time, then kissed me one last time. “Because kissing is fun.”

“And,” I winked at Max, “because when you love someone as hard as your mommy and daddy love each other you can never get enough kisses—even when you’re talking.”

She wrinkled her nose at first, then broke out into a giggle. “Okay. That’s the way it should be.”

“I agree,” Jake said as he kissed her on the cheek.

“Daddy, you’re so scratchy.”

He rubbed his beard against her cheek. “Yeah, well how about I go shave the scratchy off and we have a day at Aunt Jennie’s farm?”

“Yeah!” Both girls cheered.

“Do you want me to take Max?” I asked.

Jake scowled at me. “I’m not letting them go. You just get out of here safe and sound, woman. I’ve got our babies.”

And so I took great care in following the rescue team back through the maze of rubble and out into the falling dusk.

* * *

As scared as I’d been and as scared as Jake had been, my poor family and friends were blind and clueless. They’d gone half mad by the time we got word to them that we were all okay. The homecoming when we finally arrived at their house was intense, but it was also surprising in ways I never imagined.

As we pulled up the long gravel drive to the farmhouse a crowd gathered on the front porch.

“There are a ton of cars here…” Jake drawled as he gave up trying to find somewhere to park and just stopped in the middle of the drive.

I was partially distracted by the mob that surrounded the car. June and Cassandra both ripped open a door and yanked out a niece, so it took me longer than it should have to register everything I was seeing. It wasn’t just a bunch of cars. It was entirely too many cars for the number of people who should be at Jennie’s, unless she’d suddenly taken on a significant number of extra friends.

How many people were here? Who were they? My family was all here next to the car showering my daughters with love. That’s when I realized that Jake was incredibly quiet and his hands were wrapped around the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were turning white.

I finally focused enough to register the faces I was seeing. I was stunned, to be perfectly honest. Stunned and shocked and confused. But mostly giddy.

“Your family is here, Jake.”

He slowly turned toward me, hands still on the wheel, eyes wide. I think he was in shock.

“Are you okay?”

He blinked. “What are they doing here?”

The Senator and Rose quickly made their way down the steps, followed by Adam, Elizabeth, and most of the cousins we’d met in Maine—there were even some I didn’t recognize in the crowd.

I smiled because Jake was adorably clueless. “They’re here to be with you. That’s what families do, babe.”

And right then my heart grew a hundred sizes for Jake. Yeah, he had me, and by extension my family, but it didn’t compare to this. Having people who cared about your well-being was important. The more the merrier.

This was huge.

Doubt flickered in his eyes. “You don’t think this is just a publicity stunt?”

I reached out and cupped his stubbled cheek. I needed to connect with him, ground him. It was all so foreign to him—family who didn’t need to use and abuse him.

“Do you see any news trucks or reporters? Because I don’t.”

His shoulders relaxed and he leaned into my hand on his cheek. “They’re all here for me?”

I nodded.

“This is…new.”

I launched myself across the console and kissed him full on the lips. “I love you. It’s okay to be confused. But you should really open your door and let them see you.”

“We’re alive,” he breathed.

“We’re alive.” I smiled reassuringly.

He nodded once, then took my hand and pressed a kiss to my palm before opening his door and a very happy Rose wrapped her arms around his neck. I just sat and watched with amazement and a little bit of relief as the Senator waited his turn, then yanked Jake into a hug, too.

And this time the hug wasn’t awkward at all.

Rose kissed my cheek. “It is such a relief to see you with our own eyes.”

“Trust me, it is a relief to be seen.”

“We were so worried. We were campaigning in Atlanta. As soon as they’d let us take off we flew into Orlando and came straight here.”

“How did you know?”

She smiled. “Jennie. She got in touch with the campaign and we took it from there.”

Thank goodness for Jennie and her eternally meddling ways. Not that I would ever classify this as meddling. It was more like stepping in and building a bridge she saw needing to be built.

“You have no idea what this means,” I whispered because I was more than a little choked up.

“I hope it means a whole lot.” She pulled me a couple of feet away. “I know I made a massive mistake.” She winced. “A few mistakes, actually. But I think for the first time I can finally see things clearly and I want to do it right. I used to be so scared of making the wrong decision. Of making anyone upset. I let my life be dictated to me. I’ve become a miserable shell of a person.”

I wanted to hug her. This Rose was a woman I wanted to get to know. I was struck by her presence when I first met her at breakfast in Maine, but now she had the words and confidence to go with it. “I’m glad. This is a perfect way to start again.”

A genuine smile lit up her entire face.

* * *

The story got out. I suppose it was inevitable. A father who risked everything to save his trapped family during a freak hurricane? Yeah, of course it got out. And Jake decided it wasn’t worth fighting anymore. He let the cat out of the bag about his relationship to the Senator.

To his credit, the Senator did a fantastic job of handling the story. Somehow Jake’s childhood was never an issue, just the life he’d built with his family in Tampa as a member of the community and a business leader. The story came and went without totally disrupting out lives—which was already in a pretty bizarre state.

Hurricane Claudia had partially spared the houses on our island, including ours, thanks to spending a significant amount of time inside the eye of the storm. The roof was gone and there was extensive water damage from rain and storm surge, but the house was still there. I still didn’t understand how that was possible when it had destroyed so much.

Twenty-three people lost their lives during the storm, including nine at the mall. Several neighborhoods had been leveled and even more flooded, but the city was rebuilding, and we were too. It felt right. The house symbolized us—still standing through the worst storms of our lives. If the events of the last year couldn’t tear us down, nothing could.

“What do you think, darlin’? We could really use an upstairs hot tub.” His arm was around me as we sat looking up at the house. It was dusk and the sky was bright orange. The roof had just been finished and reconstruction was moving forward on the inside of the house.

“I don’t know,” I sighed. “A private hot tub on our private deck? I don’t know that we’d ever use it…”

He just shook his head at my sarcasm. “So that’s a yes?”

“Hell yeah that’s a yes. We already have fun on our deck. Add in a hot tub and I may quit my job.”

“You without baseball doesn’t seem quite right.”

I’d never be happy with a life that didn’t include baseball. “True, but you make staying home so tempting.”

“I’d spend all my time with you if I could.”

“I love you,” I sighed.

“I love you, too. Always.”

I turned to look up into his handsome green eyes. We’d been through so much together but one thing had never changed. From the moment we met, Jake had looked at me as if I were the answer to a question I didn’t know had been asked, but was absolutely happy to solve.

“What do you think we’ll be doing twenty years from now?”

He shrugged. “Probably this. Sitting together, loving each other, and thinking about what comes next.” He leaned down and brushed a kiss against my ear. “And making the sweetest love.”

I kissed him. “I hope we never slow down.”

“We won’t,” he assured me. “We love hard and we love fast.”

EPILOGUE

SIX MONTHS LATER

“Can I come back?” Marissa asked, looking up with the biggest blue eyes.

“Of course. We already scheduled the date.”

She beamed at me with a tear in her eyes. “I can’t wait!”

“Have a good week at school. I want to hear all about it when we have cookies at Grace’s on Friday.”

“Of course, Miss Eve. Thank you again.”

We waved as Marissa and her foster parents pulled out of the driveway. “She’s really taken a liking to you,” Jake murmured against my ear as we closed the door.

“I really took a liking to her, too. I think she’ll be around a lot.”

We’d officially moved back into our house three months ago and resumed respite care of foster children a month after that. One of the foster families we used to help out years ago had become part of a larger support group. We were now one of the group’s regular respite care families.

And for the first time, one of the kids had bonded more with me than with Jake.

“We have an empty house for the next two hours…” he drawled.

Sam and Max weren’t the best at saying goodbye so Marie had picked them up an hour earlier for a tea date with Natalie, giving us a couple of hours to put things back in order.

And the first thing I wanted to get straight was us. Because when we were in sync everything made sense. It didn’t matter if there was hurricanes, politics, unwelcome guests, or morning snuggles with our daughters, as long as Jake and I were on the same page then we could deal with anything the universe threw at us.

“I’ll race you upstairs,” I said a split second before I took off.

Jake’s laugh followed me as he rushed to keep up. He caught me at the top of the stairs and swept me into his arms. “I got you.”

“But I won,” I breathed a split second before he kissed me hard on the mouth.

“You can win as long as you take me with you.” He walked me backward into our bedroom and didn’t bother closing the door.

“I’ll always take you with me.” I swept my tongue between his lips asking for a deeper kiss.

He complied, angling his mouth over mine and tightening his arms around my waist. “Even when I’m being grumpy?”

I pulled back just enough to look into his eyes. “Those are the times I hold on to you the tightest and yank extra hard to keep you with me.” Then I stepped out of his arms and started unbuttoning my shirt.

He grinned as he watched my striptease and started one of his own when my panties hit the floor. The sight of carefully sculpted muscles wrapping down his arms took my breath away. I think that was what would always turn me on most. When we were eighteen and he was terribly skinny he still had these fantastic ropes of muscles that stretched down his biceps and into his forearms. They’d been just as deliciously gorgeous back then as they were today, on the strong, capable father of my children.

“Don’t ever stop looking at me like that, darlin’.”

“I won’t.” I licked my lips as his pants hit the floor. “I couldn’t. You do things to me, Jake. You make me feel like my heart and soul are on fire.”

His eyes grew darker. “I wasn’t alive until I met you. I have this life because of you. Do you have any idea how sexy that is?”

I shook my head.

He pushed me backward onto our bed and then lay down on top of me—his weight sealing our naked bodies together.

“Helping me build this life is the sexiest thing in the world. I have love, a family, and a future, all because you told me I was worth it. So, so sexy, Eve.”

My heart skipped a beat and my core fluttered. “I have all this because you believed what I told you. You are the sexiest, strongest man on the planet. And you’re all mine.”

I rocked my hips up. He adjusted, kissing my neck and breasts until the head of his cock was seated in my warmth, then started thrusting slow and long. “This is home.”

And as we came together with the same passion that first drew me to him so many years ago, I fully understood how beautiful it was to find home. Jake loved me, but pushed me to be bigger and better everyday, and wanted to be bigger and better for me in return. Together we were safe and whole, strong and full of hope. We built our future as a team.

This was love, and it had been worth every sacrifice along the way.

* * *

When you sign-up for my newsletter you get FIVE bonus Jake & Eve stories!

Sign up now!

Leave a review!

I hope you enjoyed Jake & Eve’s story! Every time I think about them I want to hug them. If you could take a moment to leave a review - just a sentence or two saying why liked the book (or didn’t!) - I would appreciate it very much.

xoxo

Alexis

Want more?

Get more Mantas and find out what happened to Eve’s little sister, June, in the Wild Pitch Series!

Summer Heat (A June & Roman Novel)

Night Games (A Carrie & Wes Novel)

Last Fall (A Zoe & Erik Novel)

The Wild Pitch Series Box Set

* * *

Find More At:

Goodreads

Bookbub

Instagram

Facebook

Twitter

TikTok

AlexisAnneBooks.com

SUMMER HEAT

Chapter 1

*Summer Heat is the first book in the Wild Pitch Series, a spin-off of The Storm Inside Series. It features June Daniels, Eve’s youngest sister.

I pushed the heavy metal door open and stepped into the visiting team’s locker room at Sunshine Stadium.

“Hello? Did someone call for a trainer?” It was unusual, to say the least, to get a call asking for medical help for the opposing team, but then again, this wasn’t a game day and no one should be in either locker room. Visions of horror movies filled my head as I tentatively stepped further inside.

“In here,” a familiar voice called. A very familiar voice. Too familiar.

No . . . he couldn’t possibly—

I stopped short at the sight of Roman St. James standing beside his best friend Wes Allen. Wes was laid out on a bench with his foot propped up and he was very clearly in pain. I averted my eyes before Roman looked up because no. Just no. There was absolutely no way I could look that man in the eyes.

“What have we here?” I asked, dropping my bag on the ground and immediately looking over the hurt foot.

“I think I sprained it?” Wes’s voice rose an octave in question.

“I want to be sure it’s only a sprain before he moves,” Roman explained. “I know this isn’t exactly normal but I didn’t know who else to call on such short notice.”

Had Roman asked for me specifically? Was that why I’d been sent instead of someone else when the call came in?

“Of course,” I murmured, running my finger over the swollen flesh.

“That is, if it’s legal? I’m sure it’s not insurable and it is most definitely not kosher to look over someone from another team.”

I snorted at Roman’s logic. “I’m almost positive this isn’t illegal. We’re not at war, just on different teams.” Except Roman and I were very much at war, just not over this. Enemy combatants in a fight neither of us chose.

He rocked back on his heels and from the corner of my eye I could see that he was wearing a grey suit. He looked wonderful, actually, not that I noticed. Nope. I didn’t notice the way his shoulders filled out the jacket or how his stubble was perfectly trimmed to look sexy and rough at the same time. I definitely didn’t notice the way the air crackled between us.

Not one little bit.

Denial was the only way I was getting through this.

“Still, it’s very generous of the Mantas to lend us your talents,” Roman murmured.

Wes gave him a funny look. “You’re acting weird.”

Roman shrugged. “Whatever. Is it broken?”

I shook my head. “Definitely not broken.”

They both sighed with relief.

Yes, it would most definitely be a problem to have the Jacksonville Waves star catcher out with a broken ankle. But why was the Waves catcher in the St. Pete Mantas locker room?

My locker room.

“Thank God,” Wes mumbled, lying back on the bench. He was in uniform but not dirty. “I’m an idiot. You’re supposed to stop me from doing idiotic things, Roman.”

“What did you do?” I chuckled as I pulled out an emergency cold pack and a wrap.

Roman grinned and cocked his thumb over at Wes. “Knucklehead here is a romantic. He was making a video for his girlfriend when he tripped over second base.”

“Oh, the dirty jokes I could make about that one,” I giggled as I pressed the cold pack to his ankle.

Wes groaned. At six-foot-three he was a tall and truly talented catcher for the Waves. Catchers tended to be shorter but Wes made it work. I’d watched his transformation first hand in college, putting all the naysayers to shame. I was in no way surprised that he’d not only made it to the majors, but was quickly becoming the most famous catcher in the game.

“Please don’t. I feel dumb enough as it is . . . ”

“How long have you been together?” I’d almost stopped noticing exactly how close Roman was standing beside me.

Almost.

“That’s the really ridiculous part,” Roman scoffed. “Two weeks.”

Wes covered his face. “Stop making fun of me! I love, love. What’s so wrong with that?”

My heart kicked up a little bit because there was nothing wrong with a massive dirty blond ballplayer who also happened to be terribly romantic.

Roman groaned. “The problem is that you fall in love with everyone, Wes. You might want to reserve grand gestures that get your ass on the disabled list for the one.”

“She’s out there,” he grumbled.

“How do you know it isn’t this one?” I asked. I’d moved on to wrapping the ankle and ignoring the heat my body suddenly seemed to be generating simply by being in the same room with a man I desperately wanted but could never, ever have.

“Because Annie’s gonna dump his ass the minute she sees the ankle,” Roman said.

I frowned at Roman’s subtle reference to baseball groupies. “She’s a cleat chaser?”

They both nodded. I was not a fan of the baseball groupies, or “Annie’s”, as our fathers called them—women who bounced from player to player for fame and financial reasons—but it was a relationship that worked for the individuals involved. The players got beautiful arm candy that stroked their egos while the women got the favors of fame. I didn’t want to know what technically happened between the sheets, but I could imagine it was more mechanical and less romantic. I didn’t begrudge anyone who chose that life if that was what they wanted. But it wasn’t me. I wanted fireworks. I wanted devotion, loyalty, and passion the likes of which I’d only seen in a few very special couples. Anything less was unacceptable.

And I’d thought I’d had it once. For six glorious weeks Roman St. James had been my world. He was fire and excitement and he had eyes only for me . . . until reality set it.

I swallowed down the lump in my throat. “You’re tall and you have weak ankles Wes, you always have. You need to be more careful.”

The room went silent and when I looked up Wes was staring at me. “How do you know I have weak ankles?”

Shit. I froze, realizing my colossal mistake. “Uh . . . ”

“Do you not know who this is?” Roman stepped in. My heart took off in a panic. What was he going to say? He wasn’t going to tell Wes, was he? “This is June Daniels.”

I held his gaze and watched as Wes tried to place me. “Papa Joe Daniels’ daughter?”

I nodded, hoping that the knowledge I grew up in the game was enough to satisfy Wes’s curiosity. “And,” I added, “I know ballplayers.” My father had been a famous third baseman for the Twins. I was raised in the world of baseball, just as Roman was. It was, quite literally, in my blood and the reason I’d chosen a career as an athletic trainer. It perfectly blended my two favorite things: medicine and baseball.

Wes arched a skeptical eyebrow. “You’re telling me Roman St. James intentionally called the daughter of his father’s mortal enemy to fix me up? What the hell is going on here?”

I finished wrapping the ankle and stuffed my gear back into my bag like it was on fire. I needed out of there fast.

Roman shifted back and forth on his feet. “We all went to college together, Wes. She was one of our trainers at The University of Florida.”

I sighed heavily and for the first time, locked eyes with the man I had avoided for five long years. Roman was the most beautiful man I’d ever seen and nothing had changed in that department. His skin was permanently tan from years on the field and his eyes . . . oh his eyes. They were what did me in. He had these deep brown eyes that had a way of showing everything he was feeling. They could see inside me and strip me bare.

But that wasn’t why I’d fallen for him. I’d watched Roman for a long time before anything happened and yeah, his eyes were expressive, but the only time they ever looked like that was when he was looking at me. Believe me, I’d studied that look for months after we parted ways, hoping to see him turn that gaze on another woman so I could officially hate him with every fiber of my being. But he didn’t. Not once.

Not until now.

I felt the world fall away as he searched my eyes with the softest expression. I saw regret and hope mixed together in an older and far more mature version of the man I’d once loved.

He’d been a brilliant third baseman and had a body that went with it. Six-foot-one with a strong right arm that could throw bullets across the infield with laser precision. He would have been great. Maybe one of the greatest.

“I don’t remember you and I’m pretty sure I’d remember a Daniels,” Wes said, but I barely heard him. I was trapped in Roman’s gaze. Frozen where I stood. How was it possible to feel just as strongly all these years later? It was as if no time had passed. We were still twenty-one and spending the longest, sexiest weekend of our lives alone together in a hotel room. His look turned me on every single time. How could it not? When he looked at me I was the only woman who existed. I could see and feel his need for me in that gaze.

And when he touched me? Oh yes. When his hands grazed across my skin it was fire and electricity, but deeper than that. His touch always sank inside until all I could feel was him.

I cleared my throat, trying to find my voice. “I kept away from Roman and his friends. It was best for everyone,” I finally murmured. “I should go.”

Panic flared in Roman’s eyes.

I ignored it and reached for my bag. I caught Wes’s wide eyes as I stood up. He glanced back and forth between us, jaw slack, putting together pieces he really should leave apart.

“Oh. My. God,” he finally whispered. “It’s her! She’s the one.”

My heart stopped beating. The one. As much as I wanted it to be true, I’d never allowed myself to believe Roman felt as strongly toward me as I’d felt toward him. He couldn’t. Not if he’d let me walk away.

“I should go,” I repeated and bolted for the door. Behind me I heard Wes’s voice rise up to almost a shout.

“June Daniels was the secret woman that had you so fucked up? I can’t even wrap my brain around this.”

There was silence just before I heard a growl. And then as the locker room door swung shut, “Never speak about her that way ever again.”

The venom in his voice . . . it was intense. For me? Or for the secret we shared? If his father ever found out we’d had a relationship—

“June, wait!” Roman called out, his voice echoing off the white cinderblock walls.

I rushed forward hoping he wouldn’t see me as I rounded the corner. If I could just get back to my office I’d be safe. What could he possibly say in front of my coworkers?

But then a strong hand wrapped around my bicep and gently pulled me to a stop. “Please, June. Just let me explain.”

The warmth of his palm seared into my skin like a brand. It took my breath away. “Explain what?” I sneered, sounding much angrier than I intended. I didn’t want him to hear just how much he was affecting me, whether it was positive or negative.

“Everything.”

I screwed my eyes shut and silently counted to ten before opening them again. “Everything? Like, why you’re here at my place of work in a suit, or something a bit older, like why you never apologized after our last conversation?”

His dark eyes locked onto mine. “Everything,” he repeated again, this time as a whisper. Then he seemed to remember himself and cleared his throat. “I’m here right now because we’re in negotiations for a trade to the Mantas. Wes cannot afford to get hurt.”

I studied Roman—this time with intention. The suit looked good on him, so did the way his jaw ticked with frustration. Why did he have to look so appealing even when I wanted to hate him?

And then it hit me. “You’re an agent now?”

He nodded. “I am. I’m Wes’s agent. When I called Marie looking for a suggestion on who to take Wes to she mentioned you.” He shrugged. “How could I say no to that?”

My jaw fell open as more pieces fell together. “Wait . . . you work for Marie?” Marie Hamilton was a very close friend of the family and one of my oldest sister’s best friends. She was CEO of Bancroft Sports, her family’s company, and, apparently, Roman’s boss?

He nodded.

“Since when?” Did Eve know about this? Or had Marie kept it a secret from all of us? Why would she ever hire a St. James when her best friends were all Daniels? It didn’t make a lick of sense.

“Six months. Marie just brought me down, partially to work this deal for Wes.” He kept searching my face, looking for some clue as to my reaction, no doubt.

And at this point I was so shocked that I had no idea what kind of expression I had on my face or what he was able to read in my responses. What I did know was that I needed to escape. An overwhelming need to flee had taken over my entire body.

“If Wes takes it easy he should be good as new next week.” I turned to leave but he stopped me again and, damn it all, I loved the feeling of his large hand on my arm. It was familiar and unleashed a longing deep inside my chest.

“Wait.” He yanked his hand away as if he’d been burned, then ran it through his dark hair. “Thank you for this.”

I nodded, not trusting myself to look into his eyes again. “Of course. This is what I do.”

“And I hear you do it very, very well.” There was deep admiration in his voice that made my pride swell in ways that it really shouldn’t.

“Marie is biased. She thinks of me as a sister.”

“That’s not where I heard about you.”

For some reason, that admission took my breath away. “Are you checking into me?”

He didn’t say anything. Instead he slid both his hands onto my arms and turned me to face him. And I let him, mostly because I seemed to have lost all feeling in my limbs or ability to string together thoughts that didn’t involve the way my pulse pounded in my veins or the way the air around us seemed to be alive.

I didn’t dare look up into his eyes again. I knew if I did I wouldn’t be able to look away, so instead I stared at his throat where his collar and tie pushed up against his Adam’s apple.

And that didn’t help at all, because all it did was remind me how much I loved the way his body moved—always so fluidly together—from his eyes to his jaw, all the way down his strong shoulders to his trim waist, and over his muscular thighs.

I sucked in a little breath and held it.

Did he feel this? Was his body humming with need and recognition like mine? Was his mind spinning faster than he could form thoughts?

“June,” he whispered, and I knew right then by the strangled way it came out that he was absolutely as affected as I was. “Please look at me.” His fingers tightened on my arms. “I’ve never stopped thinking about you.”

I looked up and the need in his eyes slammed into me. “Five years.” I tossed out the time it had been since we’d last spoken like a shield.

“I’m sorry. I’ve owed you those two words for so long.”

And I’d waited to hear them, but it wasn’t enough. It felt . . . incomplete. “You’re sorry?”

“Yes. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the things I said but I’m even sorrier that I was so fucking stupid.”

“You weren’t stupid,” I bit out. An uncontrollable anger roared back to the surface. I’d fantasized a million different ways to make him hurt the way he’d hurt me. He’d gotten that satisfaction—seeing the pain in my eyes—right before I walked away. I hoped leaving him had hurt him but I didn’t know for sure and I certainly never got to see it. “You were weak.”

He flinched, and for a moment the satisfaction was everything I needed . . . until it wasn’t. He blinked several times and took a careful breath. “Well, that is something very different.”

I’d hurt him, just like I wanted, and instead of feeling relief or triumph or even closure, all I felt was wrong.

He cleared his throat and let his hands drop away from me. “I was stupid but I was also weak.” He struggled to get that last word out. “I was stupid to waste the best thing that ever happened to me. I was even stupider for just standing there when you left.”

The two inches that separated us felt more like a mile of open black space that I was about to tip forward into and free fall to my own death. I knew Roman was a bad idea from the moment I felt the first pull of lust, but I’d ignored it. What was wrong with a little mental fantasizing about a hot ballplayer? But then we’d gotten stuck together in a dugout during a rainstorm. Alone. While he was on one of the most painful phone calls I’d ever had to listen to.

George St. James, Roman’s father, was an asshole. Girls have stage moms: the intense ladies who make their daughters act and enter beauty pageants to fulfill some sort of lost fantasy of their childhood, but boys had something similar: sports dads. And a sports dad who happened to be a Hall of Famer and had a superiority complex? George was the worst. He’d pushed Roman so hard and on that particular day I’d seen a young man defeated.

But then he’d put the phone away and steeled himself. And a minute later he’d asked me about my classes with genuine interest. No hate. No vendetta. Just genuine interest. He didn’t care about the feud any more than I did.

I started to fall for him right then and there. It wasn’t immediate. Ours was more of a long, slow, pleasurable slide into oblivion. But, as it turned out, the end wasn’t a soft landing. It was a painful kick in the ass.

“I should get back to work,” I murmured, reaching behind me for the wall.

“Can I buy you coffee?” He blurted it out so loud it echoed off the walls.

“No.”

“Please?”

I let out a frustrated sigh. “Why? Why would I do that, Roman?”

“Because we’re more than a failed affair.”

That was putting it mildly. “Whatever we were doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Yes it does.”

I didn’t understand why he was being so stubborn. Now. In the bowels of Sunshine Stadium. He could have written me an email or found me anytime in the last five years to apologize, but he didn’t.

“Why, Roman? Why now after all this time?”

“Have coffee with me and I’ll explain.”

“Explain now and then we can talk about coffee.”

He groaned and ran his hand over his face. “This isn’t going the way I hoped.”

“And what way is that?” Had he expected me to be pliant? To fall into his arms and let him kiss me?

“Well for one I didn’t think I’d spend more time concentrating on keeping my distance than actually saying what I need to say.” He threw his hands onto his hips and glared at me.

“I don’t understand what that means. Keeping your distance?”

“It means,” he growled, “that you keep licking your lips and breathing heavy and looking at me with those big fucking blue eyes that you know make me forget everything, and all I want to do is kiss you so hard you forget the last six years. Forget everything that happened between us before so I could meet you right now, for the first time.”

Oh. Well then . . . 

He stepped into me before I could form a reply and ran a hand along my cheek. I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch before I could stop myself—it was instinct when it came to Roman.

“June . . . ” he whispered. His words reached inside me to places I’d closed off long, long ago. I couldn’t breathe. How was this possible? I’d had many fantasies about Roman over the years, but never this. Not even close.

“What about the feud?” I whispered. Even if I was open to the idea of a relationship with the man who had completely broken my heart, it didn’t change the fact that our families hated each other.

“Fuck the feud. It’s not our fight.”

But it was. Family loyalty meant a lot to me. He knew that. “I can’t do that.”

Pain flickered in the dark brown of his eyes. “Then I’ll just have to prove it to you. The feud is in the past and you will fall back in love with me. There is no other woman on this earth for me and I know there is no other man for you.”

I hated that he was right almost as much as I loved hearing how he felt about me.

I took his hands and gingerly removed them from my body. Each movement hurt on a deep molecular level. I wanted Roman. I wanted him desperately. But I couldn’t have him. Not with the feud and not with what had happened between us. Attraction was wonderful and maybe there’d been a shot at love for us once upon a time, but those days were long gone. The reality was that we could never be together. Not in any healthy, sane way.

He looked absolutely tortured by the way I pushed him back, but I knew it was what I had to do. “Goodbye, Roman.” I turned and walked away, my footsteps echoing with each step I took like some sort of doomsday clock.

“You’ve got that wrong, June,” he called. When I looked back he was standing exactly where I’d left him, his head down and his hands thrust into his pockets. “This isn’t goodbye. This was hello.”

I shook my head. “What does that even mean?”

He looked up, a huge grin on his handsome face and a gorgeous light in his eyes. “It means this was the beginning of something brand new.”

* * *

Grab Summer Heat and keep reading!

The Wild Pitch Series

Summer Heat (A June & Roman Novel)

Night Games (A Carrie & Wes Novel)

Last Fall (A Zoe & Erik Novel)

The Wild Pitch Series Box Set

ALSO BY ALEXIS ANNE

Steamy Baseball Second Chance Romances

The Storm Inside (A Jake & Eve Novel)

Reflected in the Rain (A Jake & Eve Novel)

When Lightning Strikes (A Marie & Greg Novel)

Never Let Go (A Jake & Eve Novel)

Summer Heat (A June & Roman Novel)

Night Games (A Carrie & Wes Novel)

Last Fall (A Zoe & Erik Novel)

The Storm Inside Series Box Set

The Wild Pitch Series Box Set

Mantas Box Set

* * *

Erotic Sports Romances

Reckless Kiss (A Leo & Esme Novel)

Reckless Love (A Leo & Esme Novel)

Reckless Nights (A William & Matilda Novel)

* * *

Small Town Contemporary Romances

Come For Me, Darling (A Ben Kaine Novel)

Go Away, Darling (A Chris Kaine Novel)

Kiss Me, Darling (A Scott Kaine Novel)

Third Time’s the Charm (A Last Fall Crossover Novella)

* * *

Erotic Romance (The World of Tease)

The Callaway Chronicles

Tease (An Adam & Elizabeth Novel)

Want (An Adam & Elizabeth Novel

King (a Race Car Driver Romance)

Crave (An Adam & Elizabeth Novel)

Naked (A Tease & Wild Pitch Crossover)

Need (A King & Isa Novel)

Vector Racing Box Set

The Sutherland Scandals

Tempt (Allison Riley & Theo Sutherland)

Burn (A Michael Sutherland Romance)

Secrets (A Nicki Sutherland Novel)

The Price of Fame Series

Stripped (A Rockstar Romance)

Sins (A Rockstar/Bodyguard Romance)

Lies (A Lily Lawrence Novel)

Complete Tease Series Box Set

* * *

The Complete List of Alexis Anne Books

Sign up for my newsletter!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Alexis Anne is the author of the steamy contemporary romance series The Storm Inside, Wild Pitch, Reckless Kiss, and The World of Tease. She used to spend her days as an archaeologist surveying undeveloped parts of Florida, but now she writes books for a living. She's the mother to two men-in-training, wife to the Sexy Editor, a hiker, bourbon expert, chocolate lover, and television show binger.

AlexisAnneBooks.com

Facebook icon Facebook

Twitter icon Twitter

Instagram icon Instagram

Amazon icon Amazon

BookBub icon BookBub

Goodreads icon Goodreads

TikTok icon TikTok