Table of Contents

Dedication

Acknowledgments

the same old changes

the pettiest of motivations

a truth that bites

a wrecking ball

an unexpected clash

a furious desolation

disasters of your own creation

no pasture for you

formicidae and coffee

a lingering sadness

how to get better at recognizing underlying power structures and still ignore them

stuck in a never-ending loop

meeting in the middle

an unnerving realization

mounting bridges

expanding horizons

intentional savages

stranger things

with hippies and gelato

degrees of separation

with a little pink help that lied

powder kegs and stones

a plan and lacking patience

frying pans and fire

with hope and surprises

brimstone and hellfire

between trepidation and hope

overload and regrets

with faltering infatuation

midlife crisis and mud

a squishy impulse

thoughtful consideration

of cats and bricks

stunning and tongue-tied

with rude candor

temptation foiled

with gall and nerves

the age of insecurity

of hunger and clothing

bashful bewilderment

a crowning hope

changes and irreverence

with laughter and family

Other Books from Ylva Publishing

About Sabrina Blaum

Sign up for our newsletter to hear

about new and upcoming releases.

www.ylva-publishing.com

Dedication

For my late father, Leo. You were with me when I wrote most of this.

Acknowledgments

I am deeply grateful to Astrid and Team Ylva for taking a chance on me and for fostering such a supportive and encouraging work environment.

A heartfelt thank you to Sarah and Lenir for guiding me toward clarity with your insightful edits.

To W.B. Gerard, my late friend and mentor—you continue to inspire me, in writing as in life.

Leo, das Bedauern ist was schmerzt und nachklingt.

Tatiana, thank you for saving this one. I was truly lost and had no idea what had gone wrong. Your patience and willingness to help with my writing projects mean more than I can express.

Cecilia, your feedback is always invaluable. Thank you for reading this and for allowing me to bombard you with a million questions during my final edits.

Mark Paxson, your continued support and insights are deeply appreciated—you always offer a unique perspective.

Juanita Barrett, I treasure our friendship, and you’ll forever be my grammar guru.

Kim, thank you for tolerating my deep-seated aversion to prepositions—and for not murdering me during that Uno game.

To Flo, Willow, Silas, and Rodna, sharing my life with you is a gift. I am blessed with the most loving and supportive family, and you mean the world to me.

And finally, Flo, “thank you” feels wholly inadequate to express my gratitude and love for your role in my life. I hope my actions speak louder.

the same old changes

Claudia Khoury hadn’t expected her last week at Little Feet daycare to end with a flood, though the stench of sewage seemed a fitting farewell.

A loud bang reverberated, tearing a low gasp from Claudia after she’d ushered the last stragglers back into their parents’ cars. She hurried downstairs to see what had happened only to almost slip on water gushing out of the bathrooms, accompanied by an unmistakable scent, as if several toilets had backed up, overflowed, and spilled their entrails onto the floor.

Claudia grimaced as she waded through the hallway into the bathroom to take a closer look. Yup. She’d seen it before. With a sigh, Claudia grabbed her phone and dialed Klara, the owner of Little Feet, who’d already gone home.

“Hey, sorry to disturb you, but we’ll have to call the plumber because I think we have a busted pipe. The water is gushing everywhere, and—”

“Did you turn off the water supply?”

Claudia closed her eyes and slapped her forehead. Of all the stupid… “I’m on it.” She ran before halting. “Uh, where—”

“The basement, Claudia, the utility room.”

“Right. Yes. Got it.” She hung up and pocketed her phone before racing down the stairs to shut off the central water valve. Thank goodness she wouldn’t have to deal with this mess because on Monday, she’d start her new job as a legal expert at Helping Hands, a charity aiding people, mostly women, in getting back on their feet after divorces or coming out of abusive living situations.

Nervous excitement rushed through her; she was one step closer to her original path. It was going to be a world away from wrangling toddlers and wiping sticky fingers, and it was also a chance to finally use her law degree for something meaningful.

She’d now even have a day off since tomorrow, the repair and cleanup crews would still be busy fixing this disaster, probably way into the weekend too. As such, the daycare would be closed. Might as well. She could use the time to prepare a little more for Monday.

~ ~ ~

That Sunday, Claudia arrived at her parents’ home in their quaint Dallas suburb right before one p.m. for their regular Sunday lunch, which, most of the time, also included her grandmother.

“You’re late. Are you all right?” her mother, Mona, asked as she hugged her.

Claudia suppressed a fond eye roll behind her mother’s back, knowing she would still be able to sense it without actually seeing it. She worried at the drop of a hat, and Claudia loathed to add to her plate.

“Yes. All’s good. I just slept badly last night.”

Mona released her and touched her cheek and forehead. “Are you getting sick?”

“No, no.”

Mona narrowed her eyes. “Are you sure? I can make you a cup of sage tea.”

“That’s OK. I’m fine, really.” Claudia withdrew. She hated the mere smell of sage, but it had always been one of her mother’s go-to remedies when Claudia had a cold or a stomachache. Drinking something that made her nauseous didn’t improve things.

Mona hummed. “Come on in. We’re all ready, just waiting for you. After lunch, you can tell us about your new job tomorrow.” Mona marched ahead into the dining room without looking back to see if Claudia was following.

“I already told you all about my new job.” She knew she would have to go over it again, as her mother could hardly contain her happiness over Claudia returning to her true profession.

Her parents had always supported her, but they had clear preferences, and studying law only to work in a daycare had not been what they’d had in mind. After failing her first bar exam eighteen months ago and dealing with a terrible case of burnout, she’d taken a break. During this time, she’d done odd jobs here and there, but nothing had stuck. Then, on a whim, she’d applied to work at Little Feet and had continued to work for them until this week, quitting as soon as she’d received the note that Helping Hands would hire her.

“Hi, hayete,” her father, Kareem, said as she entered the room.

“Hi, everyone.” Claudia kissed his cheek.

Kareem patted her shoulder.

“Come, sit next to me.” Her grandma, Salma, gestured at the chair next to her.

“Of course, teta.” She settled into the designated seat.

“Did you lose weight, habibte? You’re too tall to go on a diet. Men don’t like stick women.”

Claudia stifled a grimace. Who cared what men wanted her to look like? Besides, so far, none of her partners had had any issues with her on that front. But no, she wouldn’t get lost in memories of her ex who’d tried to control every aspect of her life, including her friendships. When Mandy had demanded she end all contact with her best friend, Sammy, because of course every woman Claudia interacted with would want to fuck her, she’d reached the point of no return. While Sammy was a lesbian and their friendship had always been super close, they’d had no inclination to go there, despite having had plenty of opportunities to do so. But none of that had mattered to Mandy, and so Claudia had ended things.

So much for not getting lost in ponderings about Mandy. That break-up still stung, and she partially attributed her ongoing fling with Tom to this. She knew they had no future either. She wasn’t heartbroken about it, but she still felt drawn to him. He was fun. And hot. They’d met three months ago at a meet-and-greet alumni event at her old law school. She’d attended in part for nostalgic reasons and to tentatively spread her feelers about finding her way back into her field of study.

Having been lost in thought, Claudia looked up to her grandma frowning at her. “I’m fine, teta.”

Salma turned to Mona. “She needs to eat more. Haven’t you noticed? How could you allow her to look like this. She’s just skin and bones!”

“She’s fine, oumi,” Mona replied.

While her parents had immigrated to the United States from Lebanon before she was born, Claudia’s grandmother had moved here after her husband’s passing two years ago, and she split most of her time between Claudia’s parents’ place and her other daughter Sonia’s, who lived in Waco. As always, she pointed out where her daughter could do better—much to Mona’s exasperation. But did that stop her mother from doing the same to Claudia? Of course not.

“Have you heard Johnny’s back home?” Mona asked.

“Really?” Claudia poked at her food on the plate, hoping her grandma would be fooled by the strategic maneuvering of her food around the plate and not get into another lecture about food and her figure.

“Yes, and you won’t believe what happened!”

“Must we gossip at the table?” Kareem asked.

“It’s not gossip, but the truth. Janey told me herself. Johnny has returned home like a good son to be there for his mother, and he brought a wife.”

“Oh,” Claudia exhaled, relief flooding her as this wouldn’t turn into a round of “What about him, isn’t he nice? He’d make a great husband.”

Her mother felt Claudia needed to settle down, and much as with her job, she had… preferences. But Johnny? Never in a million years. She and Johnny’s little brother, Theo, had played in the sandbox together. Theo was like a brother, and while Johnny was insanely handsome, it would still feel like incest. She shuddered.

“That’s good. About time,” Salma grumbled. “Eat, habibte.”

“Yes, teta.” Claudia put a fork of kibbeh into her mouth since her grandmother, apparently, would not be fooled.

“No, no. He eloped, came back with this wife no one has ever met before or even heard of! Janey’s besides herself.” Mona took a sip of her drink.

Claudia frowned. That didn’t sound like Johnny. Besides, she’d always thought he was gay. Last time she’d spoken to Theo, there’d been talk about this wealthy old guy Johnny had been messing with. Of course, he could be bi like herself.

“He did what? What’s wrong with the wife?” Salma asked in a sharp tone.

“Why would there be anything wrong with her? Wouldn’t he then just have avoided his family meeting her all together?”

Both her mother’s and teta’s gazes snapped to her, but they didn’t have to say a word for Claudia to duck her head.

“Just saying. Besides, why would he marry someone if there’s something wrong with them?” she mumbled.

Mona sighed. She stroked Claudia’s cheek. “Infatuation can make you blind, hayete.”

Claudia nodded. Her mother had a point.

~ ~ ~

Claudia sighed after setting the fifth alarm in a row on her phone, each one two minutes apart. She’d even rummaged through one of her old storage chests and found her old nightstand clock Sammy had gifted her as a gag one year. She’d set it too. Claudia had had nightmares of oversleeping on her first day, though right now, with her nerves tap-dancing in her stomach, she wondered if she’d manage to sleep at all.

She didn’t understand why she was so nervous. Helping Hands wasn’t new to her—she’d volunteered as a babysitter for the charity quite a few times. Even though Sammy had sent the job positing to Claudia, she’d first heard about Helping Hands when her favorite tennis player, Lena Geiger, had touted the organization in a post-tournament interview. She’d been curious and had checked them out since Lena had also mentioned they were located in Dallas. Claudia liked their mission and had signed up for volunteer services.

Her phone rang, and at first, Claudia only stared at it, her mind lagging like the slowly buffering stream on her tablet when she watched one of her murder documentaries, quite often pausing the show the instant a gruesome image stood frozen on her screen. She shook her head and answered the phone. “Hi, Sammy.”

“Hey, Claud. I was calling to wish you good luck for tomorrow,” the soft timbre of Sammy’s voice filled her with warmth.

“Thanks. I appreciate it.”

“You OK? You sound off.”

Claudia wiped a hand along her pants leg. “Yeah, all good. Nerves, I guess.”

“I can imagine. It’s been a while.”

Claudia hummed.

“The interview went fine, right? Are you worried about anything?”

“No, no. Just normal jitters, I think. Yes, the interview went well, after I’d gotten over talking to Elizabeth Lancaster herself, but it was fine.” She figured it made sense for the woman who’d started the charity and had turned it into a success to be involved in most aspects, but still, Claudia had faltered a little at first.

Elizabeth had seemed friendly but closed off—the definition of professional with her long, brown hair coiled in a tight bun, dressed in a navy-blue skirt suit with a white blouse and black pumps. Her make-up had been flawless and her smile, while genuine, had held a hint of distance. Claudia had had to ward off a flush, as Elizabeth Lancaster had turned out to be the type of woman that left Claudia breathless. Her subtle British accent didn’t help matters either.

“Hey! Earth to Claudia? Are you sure you’re all right?”

“Yes, sorry. Spaced off.” She cleared her throat.

“All right. I’ll leave you to it. Get some sleep. Send me a text to let me know how it went tomorrow, K?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“You’ll be fine. I’m sure your boss won’t turn out to be a dragon, and if she does, you’re not married to the job.”

“Right.” Claudia sometimes wished she had Sammy’s easy-going nature.

“Sleep well.”

“You, too.” And with that, Claudia hung up.

She gazed at her phone. Almost ten. She should try to get some sleep. While she appreciated Sammy’s call, her last comment now also bounced in her head, adding another layer of substance to her already lofty stack of worries. It had never even occurred to her that Elizabeth could be an awful boss.

Claudia had little experience with bosses. Klara, who ran Little Feet, was a moody woman. Fair, but if you caught her on the wrong day, all bets were off. Still, miles lay between the two women. Not to mention that Claudia’s gaze had never lingered on Klara’s graceful neck, her soft looking skin, or her delicate features.

She needed to keep an eye on this. The last thing she needed was a crush on her boss, especially if she did turn out to be a dragon.

At least, they’d not be in the habit of working together.

~ ~ ~

Claudia preferred dressing casually, and at the daycare that had been fine, but Helping Hands demanded a different outfit. She dressed in a black suit with a silvery blouse, and while she felt confined and out of place in her attire, she was keen on doing her best at her new job.

At nine a.m. sharp, Tilda Swan, Elizabeth’s chief administrative officer, an imperious woman in her mid-sixties with an austere, no-nonsense demeanor, showed Claudia her new office and gave her the rundown of a general workday, granting her access to her computer, and instructing her to check her calendar for her appointments today before leaving the room. She had the morning to familiarize herself with everything, and at one, her first meeting would start.

Claudia’s palms grew damp as she tried to act like the put-together adult she was supposed to be but had never felt she was.

She could do this. She knew she could.

Claudia had spent the last two weeks familiarizing herself with the materials Helping Hands had sent her, and she knew the law enough to handle what they would throw at her. Yet, self-doubt wasn’t particularly rational, and when Tilda left her office, Claudia wondered if she should have stayed at Little Feet.

the pettiest of motivations

Elizabeth Lancaster awoke Saturday morning to breakfast in bed—a tray filled with toast, strawberry jam, eggs, a pot of tea, and a bushel of freshly picked daisies. She smiled and turned to face her husband, Tom, who sat next to her on the bed, grinning sheepishly.

“What’s the occasion?”

“I missed you?”

“Is that a question?”

He scratched his head. “No. It’s a fact. I… I know I’ve been insanely busy at work. You’ve just gotten back from your trip to San Antonio last week, and now I’m heading out this coming weekend to Odessa. We barely see each other anymore.”

Elizabeth drank a sip of her tea, repressing a grimace. She never added sugar to her black tea. “Hmm, yes, but every marriage has times like this, when careers have to take priority.”

“Isn’t that bad, though?”

“If it lasts, yes, but when it’s a phase, I see no harm.”

“Your charity is hardly a phase.”

She frowned. “Neither is your job. You just made partner, and if I recall correctly, you worked long and hard hours for it. Not to mention the money that—”

“Yes. And you know how much I appreciated your help.”

Elizabeth tilted her head. “We’re married.”

“Exactly. And I feel like we should try to be more…present. Have you thought some more about what we discussed last month?”

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes. “You mean me not being so controlling and obsessed with Helping Hands and spending more time at home?”

He sighed. “That’s not what I said.”

“Not in those words, no, but I can read between the lines. You knew when you married me that Helping Hands is my priority.”

“Yes, but the charity is a success, and—”

“It was a success five years ago, too.”

“My job is busy and demanding. It’s different work than you do.”

“More important?”

“I didn’t say that either.”

She held his gaze.

“I meant it’s easier for you to delegate things at work. It makes sense you’d do this so we can spend more time together.”

“What time? You’re gone at least as often as I am. Let’s say I’d delegate work—mind you, I’d have to hire new people since Tilda couldn’t pick up all the slack—and so I’d sit at home, twirling my thumbs while you’re…in court or at the office talking to your clients?”

“Again, I won’t be as busy in the future now that I’ve made partner. I’ve proved my worth.”

“I doubt they’re OK with you slacking off now.”

He pursed his lips. “It sometimes seems like you don’t want to spend more time together.”

Elizabeth reached out and grasped his hand. “I do want to see you more. I’ve missed you, too. But I won’t take a different approach to Helping Hands. I love my work, and I’m good at it. I don’t want to delegate tasks I enjoy doing or that are important to me. Things will ease again. We could cut or reduce other things. For example, you could take shorter trips with Sebastian. Your monthly outings don’t have to be full weekends in the wilderness.”

Tom’s brows furrowed. “What about your card games?”

“Those are one Friday night a month. You can’t compare it to an entire weekend away.”

“You never said you minded these trips before.”

“I don’t. But when we’re talking about spending more time together, wouldn’t that be something we should look at first before we encroach on our work commitments?”

“We’ll see. I’ll talk to Sebastian. Perhaps we can only head out every other month.”

“You do that.”

They still managed to enjoy the rest of the weekend together, heading to a local book fair before eating at a new Italian restaurant Elizabeth had been meaning to try.

After some contemplation, Elizabeth had to admit that Tom had a point. Over the last three months, they had let their relationship slide, both consumed by work. She would consider some concessions at Helping Hands if she saw a similar commitment from Tom. She doubted his weekends with his old school buddy Sebastian would see a reduction. In all honesty, Elizabeth had actually enjoyed some of these weekends alone, or she booked her own travels to coincide with such weekends so they wouldn’t lose more time.

Elizabeth hadn’t had many romantic relationships in her life, and before Tom, she’d only lived with one of her long-term partners, Logan. They’d been together four years in her late twenties and split when… She couldn’t even remember. Nothing had torn them apart. They’d just fizzled out. Such was the story of most of her relationships and life—a lack of enthusiasm and passion. Until Tom had entered her life. He added a certain unpredictability, like today, when he ended up delaying her arrival at the office, as he had a rare morning off and had convinced Elizabeth to spend it together in bed.

~ ~ ~

Right past eleven, Tilda greeted Elizabeth with a frown when she strolled in, unused to her boss showing up late, and too familiar with Elizabeth to hide her displeasure at this shortage in discipline. Elizabeth appreciated Tilda’s commitment to Helping Hands, although she wished she’d be more circumspect in her disapproval. To be fair, Tilda was the only one who ever dared to look at Elizabeth in such a manner.

They’d hired a new legal advisor after their old one had retired—a position close to Elizabeth’s heart. Many of their patrons needed legal advice or support. She’d interviewed several candidates, all unsuited—too severe, too rigid, too… full of themselves. One even seemed to believe their patrons caused their own predicaments. Elizabeth had felt a migraine jutting at her temples during that quick conversation.

She’d settled on Claudia Khoury, an earnest young woman who brimmed with idealism and enthusiasm the world hadn’t yet choked out of her. It would surprise people to learn how much cynicism ran through Elizabeth’s veins, given her profession. She preferred to call her attitude realistic; however, others—mostly her best friend Kat—argued the former.

She’d never confess this to anyone, but she’d started Helping Hands because she’d known her mother would hate nothing more.

Elizabeth had left England and moved to the United States after her grandmother had died and left her with a hefty inheritance. Her family, aside from her grandmother, were stifling, and their ambitions for Elizabeth’s future had never matched her own. So, once her one true ally had passed and she’d had the means to leave, she’d done just that, much to the vocal displeasure of her mother.

Mary Lancaster ran her home and business affairs with an iron fist. She had little patience for incompetence and failure, something Elizabeth, to her chagrin, seemed to have inherited. They differed in one key aspect, though. Mary believed there were the right and the wrong kind of people, the ones deserving of help, fortune, and happiness, and then the…peasants. She equated wealth with virtue, and that notion had never sat right with Elizabeth, nor with her grandmother.

Still, as much as Elizabeth was her grandmother’s grandchild, she also was her mother’s daughter, and so she’d housed and nurtured ambition, she’d striven for success and control, yet unlike her mother, she wanted all these things to be…not bad. She didn’t want to hurt or dismiss others, although she sometimes struggled to show it.

Oh, she excelled at schmoozing with sponsors and convincing them to support Helping Hands. It was more personal interactions that left her confused at times. Her mother’s teachings ran contrary to those of her grandmother, and so she’d often been stuck in the middle, ingesting both their lessons, and trying, often failing, to resolve the tension, the contradictions between them.

So, when she’d reached the United States twenty-three years ago at the tender age of twenty-two, she’d set out to fulfill her grandmother’s vision—helping people society had forgotten and neglected—all the while establishing a legacy her mother would long to burn to the ground.

After setting up in her office, Elizabeth sought out to welcome their new hire on her first day. Elizabeth knocked on the door, and a moment later, a rumbled “Come in!” rang out.

“Hello, Claudia. How are you settling in? I’m sure Tilda is helping you adjust.” She strode inside, taking in a somewhat ruffled-looking Claudia. Strands of her long black hair had come loose from her bun and her wide brown eyes darted around the room as she tightly gripped a folder.

“Ms. Lancaster, hello. Yes, she did. Ms. Swan has been very thorough. It’s just… It’s going to take me a moment to get used to it all. It’s quite different from my previous employment.” Claudia rose and stepped around her desk toward Elizabeth, who’d nodded but remained silent. “Is there something you need?”

Elizabeth’s gaze traveled up Claudia’s lanky form, dressed in a severe-looking black pantsuit. It stood at odds with the bubbly, almost gregarious woman she’d met during their interview. In fact, for a second there, she’d reminded Elizabeth of a puppy. She supposed first day jitters could do that to a person.

“No, no. I merely meant to ensure you’re all set. This is an important position, and I need you at your best. Our patrons depend on our advice, considering by the time they reach us, their legal situation is often precarious.”

“I understand. I’ve studied the information you sent. I’m ready. You won’t need to worry.” Claudia straightened, and with that, her attitude once again matched the woman Elizabeth had hired.

“That’s good to know.” Perhaps the boss checking in on an employee before they’d got to do anything wasn’t an encouraging sign. Still, Claudia would do well to get used to Elizabeth’s tendency to micromanage and be involved in all aspects of her charity. “I’ll leave you to it. Tilda will answer any further questions, although you may also seek my advice if you deem it applicable.”

Claudia nodded. “Of course. I just wanted to say, I’m really excited to be working here. Helping people.”

And there was the puppy. Elizabeth was a cat person through and through, so she startled upon noticing the smile wanting to form on her lips was almost fond. She suppressed it but held Claudia’s open gaze. “You’re in the right business, then.”

~ ~ ~

Elizabeth arrived home to Raji, her beloved eight-year-old cat. Tom was once more working late, which she’d expected. Their talk this weekend—or more accurately, Tom’s request that she work fewer hours—had been an ongoing issue over the last year.

Again, she’d reconsider her stance if he’d reciprocate in kind, yet there had never been any attempt to do so. Aside from this one issue of contention, they usually got along well, and her mother’s doomsday prognosis of their relationship seemed far away.

When Elizabeth had introduced Tom to her family, her mother’s first response, when they’d been alone, had been a sniff, followed by the words, “You’re fooling yourself, Lizzie. He’ll leave you for a younger woman. He’s too handsome, and too young. Marrying a man ten years younger! What were you thinking?”

“He’s nine years younger, Mother.”

Mary had waved her off, and Elizabeth had dropped the topic, leaving the room in search of Tom. He’d been sweet, warm, and attentive, and little had changed since then.

Sure, they’d gotten busier, especially when he’d worked to buy into the firm, and she’d traveled to rope in more sponsors for Helping Hands. But again, such phases existed in every relationship.

Her phone ringing startled her and when she gazed down, expecting a call from Tom to apologize for likely once again working past ten, she smiled at Kat’s name instead.

“Hi, stranger,” Elizabeth answered the call.

“Hi, Liz. How are you? Sorry I’ve been absent a bit. Work has been insane. I wish filming came with shorter days.” She sighed.

Kat, or better, Kathryn Johnson, starred as the lead actress in a science-fiction show called Broken Time, where a group of agents attempts to solve historical mysteries for paying clients by traveling through time. It was a big hit with a dedicated following, and Elizabeth had enjoyed the first season before time constraints and a strange headspace had taken her out of it.

“I suppose that’s wishful thinking?”

Kat groaned. “Don’t I know it. But enough about that. I don’t want to talk about work. Tell me what’s been going on with you. And no shop talk either. Someone’s birthday is coming up. Got any big plans?”

“Don’t remind me. No. I shall just ignore leaving my mid-forties.”

“Oh, please. It’s not that bad.”

“Wait until it’s your turn.”

“You’re in a mood today,” Kat said. “Everything OK at work? Tom?”

“I thought there’d be no ‘shop talk’?”

“Well, there won’t be any from me, but if there’s something bothering you, go ahead.”

“Everything’s fine at work. I just hired a puppy as the new legal advisor after Martin retired.”

“Wait, what? A dog? I know Martin had his issues, but replacing him with a dog? And as a cat person, aren’t you supposed to be the enemy of dogs?”

“You know full well that I’m not talking about a real animal, and for the record, a cat person doesn’t have to hate dogs. I’m…indifferent toward them. I find their energy and commitment exhausting.”

Kat laughed. “Yet you hired a human who reminds you of a dog. Do they pee on the carpet? Is that your way of pushing Tilda into retirement?”

“You’re ridiculous. No. Claudia is just very young and believes in the good in people, in helping people. She seems very…cheerful at times, though she also has an earnestness that appealed to me during her interview. She’ll be a good fit. Besides, I’d never do that! I need Tilda.”

“You know, given that you’ve started a charity called Helping Hands which is in the business of, well, helping people, shouldn’t you find such qualities on point in a new employee?”

“Yes, and I’m not complaining.”

“Then what are you?”

“That’s the question, isn’t it?” She had no answer for Kat. She should be happy, or at least content. But something was nagging at her, and she couldn’t quite place her finger on it.

a truth that bites

Claudia’s first workday had been a whirlwind of anxiety and exhilaration. She’d worked herself into a knot—one of the low points: her awkward run-in with Elizabeth.

She supposed she couldn’t really call it a run-in when her boss had checked up on her in her office, though that had to be better than being summoned to appear there, much like the dreaded call to the principal’s office. Not that this had ever happened to Claudia, as she’d been too well-behaved in school.

Dealing with patrons—ones who could talk in coherent sentences, who didn’t have trails of snot running down their noses or throw tantrums because they were tired but refused to take a nap—had been surreal, but exciting. Claudia hadn’t realized how much she’d missed working in the legal field until she returned to it. Today, she’d helped one woman with her custody paperwork, and another asked about applying for a restraining order. Her final patron ended up staying longer and chatted with Claudia about law school since she was considering applying herself.

Her first month at Helping Hands passed much the same, and with time, Claudia’s confidence grew. She’d only seen Tom sporadically over the last four weeks, both busy with work, but he texted her early in the week, asking her to come by Wednesday after work. He had an upcoming business trip for the weekend and had suggested they meet before. Claudia had received the message right after Tilda and Elizabeth had expressed how pleased they were with how she fit in at work. In this exuberant mood, she’d agreed right away before calling her mother, who wanted an update on work.

By the time Claudia left Helping Hands on Wednesday, a mellow contentedness, tasting almost like happiness, settled in her chest at how her life had changed. Yes, it had only been one month, but she had a good feeling about it. For the most part, she’d only seen Elizabeth in passing, but their interactions had been friendly, and so Claudia had also put that worry to rest, especially after the compliment early in the week. Tilda still intimidated her at times, but she had required little assistance and seemed to have won even Tilda over.

Her patrons’ issues were mostly straightforward, and so far, she’d not encountered anything she couldn’t handle. Claudia hoped this trend would continue.

She arrived at Tom’s apartment shortly after five and, once inside, he greeted her with more enthusiasm than she’d expected.

“Someone’s in a chipper mood,” Claudia said.

“Yes, well, things are going fantastic at work, and I get to see you again.” His handsome face broke out into the charming grin that had first piqued Claudia’s interest when they’d met.

She chuckled. “Work seems to be going great for us.”

Tom stepped closer. “Let’s not talk about work. It’s been too long, and we won’t see each other for a while after tonight.”

“What did you have in mind?”

Tom pulled her closer.

“No dinner?”

“Later.”

That ‘later’ never happened as Claudia fell asleep first, and when she came to an hour later, Tom was talking on the phone. Hopefully he was about to order takeout—her stomach grumbled angrily—but the cadence of his voice, soft and affectionate, made her still and listen.

“I’ll be home soon. Love you, baby. Yes, I’m sure we can revisit breakfast in bed again. Bye.”

Claudia froze, her heart hammering in her chest. Back home. Love you, baby. He surely wasn’t talking to his mother. No. That had to be…another woman? She blanched. Claudia didn’t cheat—she’d never betrayed a single soul in her life. In fact, she’d never date anyone who was in a relationship, but this might have changed now, thanks to Tom Pittin. She didn’t know what to do. She could ask him, of course, but she’d hate the subsequent conversation. They weren’t serious. Just a bit of fun. He was her rebound guy, really, but he still wasn’t supposed to be in a relationship. Oh, God, what if he’s married?

She recalled how, for the longest time, they’d only met at her place or at hotels, even though he lived in Dallas, too. Tom had said something about repairs or renovations. She didn’t remember, as they’d been busy. Claudia gritted her teeth. She couldn’t believe it. How dare he involve her in this? She knew she wouldn’t get any answers unless she confronted him, but she dreaded that almost as much as the unknown.

Claudia faked sleeping for five more minutes, during which her mind rode on a rollercoaster, but finally she decided to get out of the apartment and call Sammy—she truly should have known better. What lawyer lived in such a small place? Of course, he’d told her he was between houses and planned to buy a home soon. Those were probably lies as well.

She stretched and acted as if she was just waking up.

The mattress dipped when Tom joined her once more, still naked, as if he hadn’t just finished a phone call with his other girlfriend, or worse, his wife. She could strangle him; or hit her head against the wall.

She had never wanted to be the other woman. The mere thought filled her with a mixture of dread and nausea.

“I’m heading out.” She rose and grabbed her clothes, almost tearing her shirt in the process of putting it on.

“What? Already? We haven’t eaten yet, and I thought we could spend the night in bed.”

I bet you did, you bastard. “Another time. I forgot something I need to take care of.” She had always sucked at lying, and coming up with excuses on the spot? How?

“But it’ll be at least two weeks until we’ll see each other again!” Tom scooted closer, trying to catch her hand, but Claudia pulled back, fully dressed now.

“We can text and call.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Video chat?”

Claudia barely smoothened her grimace. “Sure. I’ll call you.” Without another word, she darted out of the apartment. Yes, he likely knew something was up, but there was no other choice. If she stayed, she’d cause a shouting scene. Or murdered him. And then she’d need legal advice. She scoffed. How had things gone from awesome to shit in two seconds?

She sped home, nearly running a red light, but then forced herself to do some breathing exercises. It wouldn’t do to get into an accident.

Back home, she immediately called Sammy, who, after some quick research, figured out Tom Pittin was, in fact, married.

“That bastard. Here…” Sammy rattled down a phone number Claudia scribbled on a post-it note.

“Thanks. I will. Bye, Sammy.” She hung up, slamming her phone down. Claudia glared at it in disdain as if it were responsible for what she’d done.

She knew she had to do something—she’d been plagued with the urge to confess, to let Tom’s partner know what was going on. Sammy had sensed this too. Now she had the chance to do just that.

Claudia sagged onto her computer chair and contemplated her next steps. She needed to think and decide if and when she’d call this Elizabeth. She should likely text her first because cold calling a stranger to tell her she’d been having an affair with her husband didn’t sound like a stellar idea.

~ ~ ~

The rest of the work week went by in a blur, yet dragging at the same time, as if stuck between the sticky fingers of a preschooler. Claudia had been distracted all day, jumpy and nervous. She’d likely scared her patrons or made them see her as an incompetent fool, but she struggled to concentrate on anything other than what she’d say to this Elizabeth woman.

Claudia also wondered who she was, and what she looked like before chastising herself for such thoughts. What did it matter? Besides, she’d only tell her what happened, and be out of her life again. A quick in and out—raining devastation on another in a hot second.

Of course, none of this was her fault, and Elizabeth deserved the truth. Claudia would want to know if it were her.

Come Friday after work, Claudia first stepped under a flesh-melting, steaming shower—at least according to all her lovers who’d refused to join her. Cold or lukewarm showers were the devil. If the lever could still move farther toward red, the water wasn’t hot enough.

She’d finished and eaten dinner a few minutes past six, and so she settled on the couch and stared at the yellow note on which she’d jotted Sammy’s information about Elizabeth.

But first things first. She needed to end things with Tom, even if it meant he would figure out what had happened. She doubted he’d confess to his wife, and if he did, that would be good, too, right?

Claudia snatched her phone to call him when pettiness rose, and she texted:

‘We’re done.’

Because what else was there to say? She owed him nothing. Not a single damn thing, aside from a swift kick in the—

Her phone sounded.

What? Why? What’s going on? Call me!

Claudia closed her eyes. She didn’t know what to say. I don’t date married people? In the end, it would be the confrontation she’d avoided earlier in the week when she’d rushed out of his apartment. And no matter what he said, she’d contact Elizabeth, not only because Claudia suffered from the ‘apologizes too often’ disease, but she still felt the woman should know. This way, she could make an informed decision on whether she wanted to stay with her cheating bastard of a husband.

Her phone started to ring. Tom.

Claudia rejected the call.

Just let it go. I’m done.

But why? We had such a good time the other night before you rushed off. What happened? Did I say something?

She scoffed. “Good time until your wife called,” she muttered into the empty room and blocked his number. There. The end.

Claudia spent the next several minutes staring at Elizabeth’s number before heaving a sigh. “Like a band-aid,” she mumbled and composed her message.

Hi. You don’t know me but there’s something important I need to tell you. Do you have a moment? She pressed send before picking up her tablet to watch something.

Her phone chirped right after the intro of her favorite true crime series, See No Evil.

Claudia paused the program and reached for her phone on the coffee table. Her eyebrows rose when she read Elizabeth’s reply.

Wrong number.

Fair, but not helpful.

I’m speaking with Elizabeth Pittin?

Who is this and what do you want?

Claudia sighed.

My name is Claudia and I want to talk to you.

I’m not a man, so you won’t fish me with whatever scam you’re running.

This isn’t a scam, and I obviously know you’re not a man. And ‘fish you’?

That’s what they call it, right? Catfishing?

Oh. But that’s not what this is. I don’t know why they call it that.

Indeed. And there’s even a fish by that name.

Claudia snorted.

It has whiskers.

What does?

The catfish.

Oh. I suppose. But cats eat fish, so that’s still weird.

Claudia canted her head.

I can see that.

It’s like naming a cat dogcat.

I don’t think cats would appreciate that.

Claudia chuckled.

I’m not sure cats can read, so their offense would be limited.

Also, dogs don’t eat cats.

Why were they discussing animals?

Not for lack of trying.

And don’t underestimate cats.

Duly noted. I feel there’s a story there.

Got a dog that wanted to eat a cat?

The other way around.

A cat that wanted to eat a dog?

Raji would never! He’s a perfect angel, unlike my neighbors’ demon dog.

Claudia shook her head. What was happening here?

I’m sure your cat is completely innocent.

There was no way she’d say otherwise to a cat-crazy person. She’d once gotten into a fight with Sammy over her cat. Lesson learned, never again. People who loved cats were intense.

Of course he is. But back to business. What do you wish to tell me?

Claudia’s smile froze, and she sat up straighter, wiping her hands on her sweatpants.

You’re married to Tom Pittin?

Why do you ask when you already know the answer?

Claudia worried her lower lip. This would get ugly, and she hated the idea. Such news was always terrible, but somehow… Band-aid.

I didn’t know he was married. I’ve just ended things with him, but for the last four months, Tom and I were seeing each other.

Nothing.

Claudia stared at her phone, but there was nothing.

Elizabeth? I’m truly sorry. I just thought you should know.

Five minutes passed, and eventually, Claudia gave up and threw her phone next to her on the couch, once more glowering at it. With a heavy sigh, she picked up her tablet. Right after pressing play, her phone beeped. Claudia almost dropped the tablet in her hurry to reach it. She stared at the five words and blinked.

Why should I believe you?

Now what?

a wrecking ball

Elizabeth wondered if it was possible to a pace a hole into the floor, yet what often helped her think now left her with a blank mind, unsure what to do. She’d had a good week—Tom was home more, work ran smoothly with new promising sponsors, her new hire still fit in perfectly—but instead of lounging on the couch with her latest Inspector Gamache novel, she fretted over a text message exchange.

She first thought it was a scam, but no, something worse threatened to upend her world. Or could it be a scam after all? That made no sense, though. What would this woman gain if Elizabeth divorced her husband? Unless she’d lied and it wasn’t over and instead, she wanted her to end things with Tom so she could have him.

Good riddance. Oh, Elizabeth wasn’t about to dump her husband on a text message exchange with a stranger, but she also refused to stay with a cheater, no matter how well they got along. What had she missed? There’d been no real strife between them. Tom had said his long hours would decrease once the Weston case concluded. Had he lied and, instead, he’d been seeing this Claudia all along?

“Meow!” Raji interrupted Elizabeth’s pacing, and she glanced down at him.

“Oh, baby, what am I going to do?”

He rubbed against her legs.

Elizabeth dropped back down on the couch, Raji right behind her, and she absentmindedly petted him while her thoughts went into overdrive. She now questioned Tom’s trips and even his outings with Sebastian. Perhaps instead of going hiking together, these were convenient excuses for extramarital affairs, and maybe this had been going on for their entire marriage. Should she confront him? Elizabeth despised scenes and drama, and she also hated that her mother had been right. Potentially. Oh, she wished Claudia had never contacted her. Was it living a lie if you didn’t know?

She also decided that she had to be in shock because she didn’t feel heartbroken or devastated—just numb. And she still worried this was some kind of elaborate prank. Elizabeth supposed there was one way to find out.

Because I’m telling the truth.

Any con artist would say that.

Is a con artist better or worse than a scammer?

Elizabeth smiled. Whether a con artist, scammer, or mistress, this Claudia person (if that was even her real name) was fun to talk to.

I’d say they’re the same.

Bummer. But I’m serious. I’m not lying. For what even?

Because you want Tom for yourself?

A pause. Dots appearing, only to disappear again.

We had a good time, but I hate liars and cheaters. So, no. I’ve actually blocked his number.

Elizabeth’s eyebrows rose.

That still doesn’t change my dilemma.

I could send you pictures or text messages. If you need proof, I mean.

Elizabeth frowned. Text messages could be doctored. Again, scammers could be clever, though this didn’t seem like a con. And pictures? Did she want to see pictures of her husband with another woman? A younger woman, probably prettier than her. What a mess.

Let me think about it some more.

Of course. You have my number, if you have any more questions.

Thank you.

And that was it.

Relief flooded Elizabeth because Tom had left this morning for a work trip and wouldn’t be coming home any moment, as he usually would on a Friday night.

Could Claudia be speaking the truth? She still grappled with this. Weren’t there usually signs? She’d always assumed she’d know—there had to be serious issues in a relationship for one partner to cheat. But perhaps she had been blind.

Elizabeth rose to feed Raji. He meowed and followed her with his tail up in the air as she brought the bowl to his spot. She petted his head while he chomped down noisily, ignoring her gesture.

“Your life is so easy.” Elizabeth sighed.

She needed to sleep on this, though eight p.m. was too early to retire. With another sigh, she went into her exercise room and flipped on the TV, hoping a calming yoga routine would help her sleep.

~ ~ ~

The barking of the neighbor’s dog jolted Elizabeth awake a little after eight the next morning. Disoriented and tangled in the sheets, she reached out for Tom, only to pat air and cool linen instead. Amarillo, right. She shook her head when memories of her conversation with Claudia flooded her mind. She’d forgotten. God. How bittersweet, a moment to wake up unaware of the cloud hovering above her head and pouring rain on top of her.

She wanted to talk to Kat, but since she lived in California, she’d likely still be asleep now. Elizabeth got out of bed and padded into the bathroom to get ready for her day.

She checked her phone during breakfast and almost choked on her cereal when she read Tom’s text message from last night.

Hey baby. You must be sleeping already. Rough day? Did your migraines flare up again? Everything’s all right here. Boring. I think we’ll get that account. I hope you’re feeling OK. Miss you.

Elizabeth stroked her thumb over the message and her vision blurred. Surely this wasn’t the message of a cheater. Although she had heard about people who cheated but had no intention of leaving their spouse—they just couldn’t resist the other person or wanted to spice things up in bed. She’d admit things had gotten a bit perfunctory there, which wasn’t truly a surprise given her complicated relationship with sex.

Elizabeth decided to distract herself by continuing the preparations for the next charity dinner before she could call Kat without getting cursed out for waking her. Of course, Kat could already be on set, but in that case, Elizabeth wouldn’t reach her any way. Ugh. This was not working. She needed…something.

Her phone sounded. Elizabeth’s shoulders drooped when she saw a new message from Tom. This one only asked if she was up already. She didn’t want to talk to him, at least not before she’d spoken to Kat. She replied she’d call later.

Elizabeth managed to spend the next two hours getting some work done before she grabbed her phone and called Kat.

“Hi, Liz! Good to hear from you. I was thinking of calling you this weekend. How are you?”

Elizabeth smiled at hearing her friend’s raspy voice and heartfelt greeting. “Hey. Anything newsworthy going on?”

Kat scoffed. “You could say so, but that’s not why you called. Are you OK? You sound off.”

Elizabeth swallowed a sigh. At times, she hated how in-tune Kat was with her moods. “Do you even have time? This might take a bit.”

“For you, always.”

Elizabeth smiled. “It’s about Tom. He…” She had no idea how to phrase this.

“He isn’t injured?”

“No. He might be cheating on me.”

“That bastard!”

A rueful smile spread over her face. Kat’s support had always been absolute, and Elizabeth had often accused her of being biased, but now it felt good to have someone completely on her side.

“How do you know? With whom? Some young twenty-year-old floozy with big—”

“Kat!”

“What? So many men here do this. It’s disgusting—replacing their wives with a newer, perkier model.”

“I don’t know how old she is. She seems to know quite a bit about catfish.”

“Wait, what? Liz, are you all right? What… How did we get to catfish?”

Elizabeth pinched the bridge of her nose. “I’m fine. It’s complicated, and I don’t know what to do.”

“All right, tell me everything.”

“OK, so last night I got a text message from this woman, and…” Elizabeth proceeded to tell Kat the entire miserable tale, including her questions, fears, and doubts. She shared how things had been between her and Tom recently, and how she never would have guessed he was cheating. After releasing a torrent of words resembling a flood ready to drown her friend, Kat offered Elizabeth one piece of advice: “Meet with the woman and let her tell you the entire story.”

Could things really be that easy? Although easy might not be the right word, given that Elizabeth remained unsure she could handle whatever Claudia would reveal.

an unexpected clash

Claudia had gotten little sleep the previous night, still in utter disbelief over the entire Tom situation.

She’d just sat down for breakfast when her phone beeped: Elizabeth asking to meet that afternoon at Dark Embers, a newish hipster (or so Claudia had heard) coffee house downtown. Claudia frowned, not having expected to hear from Elizabeth again. She’d figured Elizabeth had likely dismissed her and would go on with her life.

Claudia ultimately agreed to meet Elizabeth at three p.m., given she’d told the woman to contact her if she had questions. Before heading out, she reviewed her phone’s photo album, wanting to ensure Elizabeth wouldn’t stumble over any inappropriate images—not that she had many. While tempted to remove the one showing her and Tom kissing, she left it alone, figuring it was kind of the point of the entire meeting. Still, she cringed hard when looking at the picture.

She arrived a couple minutes early, but before she could enter the café, she drew back with her heart pelting against her ribcage—like a rabbit crouched at the shadow of an eagle crossing above. Claudia hid behind a column, hoping it would block her from view while she peered into the room through the window like a damn creeper.

Elizabeth had told her she’d sit in a corner next to a bamboo palm (because Claudia knew the difference between that and a regular palm) with a cup of coffee—how distinctive in a coffee shop—and mentioned she had long dark, curly hair and would wear dark slacks with a crème-colored blouse. And the woman who fit said description and sat in such a spot was none other than her boss, Elizabeth Lancaster. An anvil dropped into her stomach while she stood there, trembling at this ridiculous development.

Claudia shook her head and fled, dashing back to her car, panting when she sagged into her seat, her hands gripping the steering wheel. She was fucked.

Once she entered her apartment, the nerves that had been going haywire since almost meeting her doom at the café now staged a riot as it hit her—she’d basically stood up Elizabeth. Her boss.

Claudia fished out her phone, almost dropping it in the process, and composed a text message. Her hands trembled as she typed a lie—an emergency had arisen—and apologized profusely before falling onto the floor, palpitations running wild in her chest.

A moment later, her phone beeped.

OK.

That was it? What did she expect, though? If she put herself in Elizabeth’s shoes, she’d assume she’d been scammed for real at this point. What was she going to do?

I’m truly sorry. I promise I’ll make it up to you.

Claudia couldn’t just leave it at that.

So you say.

She sighed and threw her phone on the couch before pacing her apartment. This wouldn’t do. Elizabeth would think she was lying, which would likely make her stay with Tom. Claudia didn’t care if Elizabeth chose to do so after knowing all the facts, but since she didn’t, so what else was Elizabeth to do but chalk it up as a crazy woman pranking her for kicks and giggles?

After hedging and hawing for ten minutes, Claudia video-called Sammy.

“How did it go?” Sammy offered instead of a hello.

Claudia groaned.

“That bad? I mean, you look kinda frazzled.”

“I stood her up.”

“What? Why would you do that?”

“Because Elizabeth Pittin is actually Elizabeth Lancaster.”

“Huh? I gave you the right number. I don’t understand. And wait… Isn’t that your new boss?”

“Yes!”

“How? I don’t—”

“You gave me her married name, but her maiden name, and the name she uses for all things charity related, seems to be Lancaster. At least that’s my assumption. I suppose it could also be a pseudonym. I don’t know. It doesn’t matter in the end. She is Elizabeth Lancaster, my boss, and I’m screwed.”

“Why? She doesn’t know it’s you. There are a million Claudias in the world, so how is any of this your problem?”

“Spoken like a true politician,” Claudia grumbled.

“Hey! I’m just saying. No harm, no foul.”

“No harm? There’s been plenty of harm. I stood her up, and—”

“As Claudia the scammer, not Claudia the legal advisor!”

“What difference does that make?”

“Employment vs. unemployment?”

“Stop being a smartass and help me, Sam!”

Sammy sighed. “What do you want?”

“A solution.”

“All right. What are your priorities? Because that’ll decide what you’ll have to do.”

“Priorities. Let’s see.” Claudia settled on the couch. “I want Elizabeth to know the truth, and to believe me. I don’t want her to think this was a scam.”

Sammy groaned.

“What?”

“I was afraid of that.”

“Why? What’s wrong with it?”

“You and your damned honesty. Shades of gray exist, you know? Never mind. You should be looking out for what’s best for you—and right now, what’s best for Elizabeth and what’s best for you aren’t compatible.”

Claudia frowned. “How so?”

“She’s your boss. You’re a newly hired employee, so there’s no loyalty or commitment yet from the firm, if such a thing ever exists, given we’re all just cogs in the machine.”

“Not again.” Claudia suppressed a groan.

“The fact you don’t like it doesn’t make it false.”

“Go on.”

“Look, Elizabeth Lancaster has no affinity for you. She doesn’t know you. You’re nothing but her employee. In her mind, Claudia-the-scammer is an asshole. Someone who played tricks on her for her own amusement and lied because who knows? People are assholes.”

Claudia sighed.

“If you reveal that Claudia-the-employee and Claudia-the-scammer are the same, she’ll fire you.”

“Why would she? First, I wasn’t scamming her, and—”

“No. You were just fucking her husband.”

Claudia bit her lower lip. “I didn’t know he was married,” she pressed out.

“Do you really think that will matter? Do you think Elizabeth will want to see you at work every day once she knows you’re the woman who destroyed her marriage?”

“I didn’t do that! It was Tom’s responsibility not to cheat!”

“Of course, but emotions aren’t rational. You’re a pretty young thing, and she’s bound to feel insecure and betrayed. You’ll be the easiest target. It’s just human nature.” Sammy shrugged.

Claudia narrowed her eyes. “Fine. I’ll find another job then.”

“You love this job! Why would you do that to yourself? All you have to do is shut up and act like it never happened.”

“That’s not who I am. Besides, I’d feel terrible, and it would distort our relationship.”

“What relationship? She’s your boss. You said you don’t even see her often.”

“Still, it would always stand between us, in my mind at least. It would make everything awkward. Never mind Helping Hands has my phone number on file, so she could find out the so-called scammer-Claudia really is me, and that would make everything so much worse.”

“True. You could change your phone number?”

“Oh, Sammy, come on now!”

“Fine.”

“So I’ll tell her.”

“I guess so.”

“Don’t look so glum. Maybe she won’t fire me.”

Sammy snorted. “Right. You can have your honesty and optimism, but the world doesn’t work like that. So please be prepared, OK? This could get ugly.”

“I know. But it’ll be worth it. She’ll know, and then I can let it go.”

Sammy sighed. “Why is it so important to you? She is no one. She’s not your friend or family.”

“That doesn’t make it right to let her believe she was scammed or pranked, or worse, that her husband isn’t a cheating bastard. Besides, she was fun.”

Sammy’s brows furrowed.

“When we texted. It was fun. I liked her.”

Sammy covered her eyes with one hand. “You like everyone.”

“Not true!”

~ ~ ~

By Monday, Claudia had come up with a plan—no thanks to Sammy who kept insisting this would all blow up in her face. As a consolation, though, she’d offered Claudia may come crying to her when it was all over and she’d graciously refrain from telling her, “I told you so.” With friends like these…

She’d given up on texting Elizabeth as she figured she wouldn’t believe a word she said. While Claudia enjoyed her job and didn’t want to lose it, she still felt the need to tell Elizabeth. She hoped Sammy was wrong, and she’d be able to keep her job.

She’d been distracted throughout the workday again, but not to where her patrons noticed. Such a trend wouldn’t help with keeping her employed, though, should Elizabeth seek feedback from the people Claudia had worked with.

After finishing up with her last patron, Claudia lingered in her office. She’d noticed the week before that Elizabeth stayed late quite often, and she hoped this would be the case again today.

Sometimes fortune did favor the foolish, for when Claudia swung her purse over her shoulder and stepped out of her office, the lights in Elizabeth’s were still aglow. Steeling herself, she trod closer and took a deep breath before knocking.

A pause.

“Come in,” Elizabeth’s clear voice rang out.

Claudia opened the door and her gaze fell on Elizabeth sitting at her desk, head bowed, working on a document. Her profile resembled one of the winged statues Claudia had seen in the garden of the Belvedere Palace in Vienna—half woman, half lioness, with straight features, full lips pressed tightly together, and a downcast gaze. She wore glasses, and her pale skin contrasted with her hair and frames.

Claudia felt trapped in place when Elizabeth looked up.

“How may I help you?”

The problem with Claudia’s plan? She had fretted over when, without giving much thought to how she’d talk to Elizabeth.

Elizabeth placed her pen down. “Is everything all right?”

Claudia nodded. “Well, I’m not sure.”

“Did you run into a problem with one of our patrons?”

“No, it’s not… It doesn’t relate to Helping Hands.”

“Oh?”

The band-aid. “I’m sorry. I never meant to stand you up on Saturday, but when I got there and saw it was you, that Elizabeth Pittin is you… I panicked.” There. She’d said it.

Elizabeth’s eyes widened and her face turned ashen. She opened her mouth, only to close it.

“I didn’t know—”

Elizabeth held up one hand, and Claudia fell silent.

“You’re the scammer-Claudia?”

Claudia gritted her teeth. “I’m Claudia, but I’m not a scammer. Or catfisher.”

Elizabeth shook her head. She leaned back in her chair and sent a hard glare in Claudia’s direction. “What do you want?”

“Like I told you, I want to tell you the truth, so you can decide—”

Elizabeth rose. The force of her movement slammed her chair backward, metal scraping against wood. She pressed her hands on the polished tabletop and hunched forward. “So I can decide?”

“Yes.”

“Nothing about this”—she waved between them—“has been my choice.”

“I know, but—”

“You know nothing.” Elizabeth straightened and stalked around the desk toward Claudia.

She had a good four inches in height on Elizabeth, so why did Claudia suddenly feel like Elizabeth was towering over her? She resisted the urge to draw back. “I’m sorry.”

“You keep saying that, but you make the wrong decision at every turn.”

Claudia bristled. “I had no idea he was married.”

“The ring didn’t give it away?”

“He obviously wasn’t wearing one when I met him or any other time I saw him.”

“How did you find out then?”

“He called you.”

“While you were there? Why would he do that? Tom’s not stupid.”

Claudia ducked her head. “He thought I was sleeping,” she mumbled.

“Excuse me?”

She raised her head and caught Elizabeth’s flinty gaze—her blue eyes once more freezing Claudia in place. “He must have thought I was sleeping.”

“I see.” Elizabeth’s gaze traveled up and down Claudia’s frame.

She tried not to squirm. Elizabeth had every right to be angry. This was a lot.

“So you had sex with my husband for four months, and when you learned of my existence, you decided to play the hero and tell me about it. Again, what do you want?”

Claudia sighed. “Nothing. I just wanted you to know so you can choose—”

“Have you ever considered I might not want to know?”

Claudia’s eyes widened.

Elizabeth scoffed. “You forced this knowledge upon me, and now I have no choice but to know.”

Claudia had no idea what to say. This scenario had never occurred to her. “But… Why wouldn’t you want to know?”

“I hate liars and cheaters, too.” Elizabeth raised one perfectly manicured eyebrow. “As such, I can hardly do nothing, but if I hadn’t known…” She shrugged.

“Why would you want to live a lie?”

Elizabeth laughed—neither a happy nor warm sound. Not scathing either, yet it burned Claudia.

“Perhaps I’m not fond of spending the rest of my life alone. Tom and I mostly get along. Any issues we may have had, I could deal with, live with. This, however”—she made a sweeping hand gesture in Claudia’s direction—“I can’t live with it.”

“I know you said I keep saying this, but it’s true. I’m so sorry. I never wished to cause you any trouble or pain.”

“You’re either incredibly stupid or supremely naïve if you harbored the delusion telling me you’ve fucked my husband for the last four months wouldn’t cause me any trouble or pain.”

Claudia cringed.

“And I know you’re not stupid.”

“I just thought knowing would be better.”

“Yes, if I was in your shoes and in my early twenties, knowing might be better.”

“I’m twenty-eight.” Claudia frowned.

“Same difference. I’ve still got eighteen years on you, and my life and prospects look much different as I’m racing way past midlife.”

Claudia startled.

“You may not be the blonde bombshell I’d imagined you to be, but what you are is actually worse.”

“What I am?”

“Don’t get me wrong, you’re pretty, but you’re not the type of woman I could’ve dismissed. You’re too tall and lanky, and your… chest isn’t particularly impressive.”

Claudia’s mouth fell open, and she closed it again without saying a word.

“I’m talking about what generally draws the gaze of a man, and I’m not—”

“So according to you, that’s big tits and birthing hips? Mind you, Tom didn’t need to look elsewhere for that. Do you also have a height limit of 5’3 or 5’4? Or is that too tall already?” Claudia crossed her arms.

Elizabeth released a dry chuckle. “I didn’t have a number in mind, but… You can’t deny men are often attracted to such physiques.”

“No doubt, but aside from what you said being insulting, it also doesn’t mean a woman who looks like that would be an airhead or boring.”

Elizabeth frowned. “When did I say that? And I didn’t mean to insult you, but these are the facts.”

Claudia exhaled harshly. “It was heavily implied, as in, cheating is more acceptable if done with a blonde bimbo with big boobs and all that jazz. Also, intentions don’t always translate into actions.”

“Correct. The point is, if you were to fit this stereotype, I could more easily dismiss it. That he was drawn to you because of your…assets.” She waved her hand in front of Claudia.

“And now you think my sparkling personality roped him in?”

“No. Now you’re a beautiful young woman who seems smart, kind, and lively. Engaging. You are quite lovely, really, and that…I can’t compete.”

“Why would you wish to compete? For someone who doesn’t respect you enough to honor his commitment, and who doesn’t appreciate what he has. You’re beautiful, and all you said about me seems true for you, too.”

Elizabeth smiled. “That is kind of you to say, but—”

“I’m not kind. I have eyes.”

Elizabeth fell silent, holding Claudia’s intense dark gaze. “I’m much older than you, and while I stay fit, I don’t have the body of a twenty-eight year old, nor the fresh face and enthusiasm.”

“There’s nothing wrong with your face or your body, and the last thing I’d call you is boring.”

Elizabeth’s eyebrows rose. “You don’t know me.”

“No. I didn’t mean…” Claudia rushed out. “Tom’s an idiot, and look, it’s not my place to tell you what to do or anything, but there are plenty of people who’d jump at the chance to be with you. Also, what competition? I’m out and I’d never…” She sighed.

“Then why did you leave? Why couldn’t you come clean in the café when I sat there waiting for you, eventually concluding all of this had been a distasteful prank?”

“I was too shocked, and I got scared…” Her voice quivered, and she whispered, “So I ran.”

“Yet you insist on sharing this with me, still, or again. Even though it makes our work situation impossible.”

Claudia’s shoulders sank. Sammy had been right. “Like I said, I thought you should know.”

“One day, Ms. Khoury, you might learn that your vision, your own truth, isn’t universal, and it’ll behoove you to be more circumspect in doling out whatever you deem best.”

Claudia could only nod. By now, her heart had invaded her esophagus.

“You’re fired, effective immediately.” Elizabeth turned and strode back to her desk.

Claudia’s throat burned and her vision blurred. She’d been foolish to hope for a different outcome. And what on earth had she been thinking? Calling your boss beautiful after you tell her you had an affair with her husband? You’ve lost your mind.

“This means you leave now, Ms. Khoury. Your ID should stay on your desk.”

Claudia nodded. “Goodbye.” And with that and one last glance at an impassive Elizabeth, she hurried out of the room.

a furious desolation

When the scammer had introduced herself as Claudia, Elizabeth had not once thought of her newly hired legal advisor. After all, Claudia wasn’t a terribly uncommon name. Not even when the woman had knocked on her door, had she suspected she was about to upend her world. It had felt good to fire her, but on her way home, Elizabeth’s conscience raised its ugly head. Yet how would she ever be able to work with Claudia knowing her connection to Tom? A link leading to the ruin of her marriage.

So, Elizabeth spent her Monday evening moping before taking Tuesday off to clear her head. Instead of exercising, she spent hours pacing. She liked to listen to music while wandering aimlessly around. One song in particular fit her mood—a raspy voice spent the chorus asking what was going on, lamenting their loss of control. It resonated with her, and she often played it when she felt lost and unsure while sorting out her confusion and frustration.

She’d never seen the images Claudia had offered to show her, but she no longer doubted the veracity of her claim, as even the puppy wouldn’t take such a risk for the sake of a prank or a scam.

Tom had cheated on her for months.

Elizabeth’s emotions continued their rollercoaster, submerged in waves of betrayal, and along that path, fury joined, vibrating through her and rattling her bones while she stomped through her house, the little vein in her neck pulsing to where her heartbeat resonated in her ears.

Moments of sadness weren’t any better. She’d slow down, suppress tears welling in her eyes because she refused to cry over a man who…who had broken all his promises—a man who saw nothing wrong with that. Their morning phone call, short, almost mundanely normal, proved Tom had intended to carry on with their lives as if nothing had happened.

Yes, she’d told Claudia she wished she’d never divulged this secret. And while a part of Elizabeth did long for this, if she was being honest, that option would have been awful, too. The truth generally prevailed over time, and learning of such a betrayal in ten or fifteen years would have been even worse.

She didn’t want to live with a cheater, but she hated the truth, and she wished none of it had ever happened.

God, she dreaded having to tell her mother. Elizabeth still visited her family in England every so often, especially with her parents getting on in age, yet she wasn’t looking forward to her next trip. Not only without Tom, but she’d have to listen to her mother’s comments about getting divorced.

At night, Elizabeth tossed and turned, vacillating between staying and leaving (could there be a viable compromise?), weighing both alternatives, but in the end, it came down to one pivotal point: she couldn’t trust Tom anymore. And a relationship without trust wasn’t worth having. It didn’t matter that she still loved him and likely could find a way to forgive him.

Elizabeth hoped she’d be all right in the long run. She still had her charity and several events lined up, along with the task of searching for new guest speakers. It would keep her busy enough to push thoughts of her failed marriage aside.

Perhaps failing bothered her more than the loss of Tom. Did this upset her inherently, or because it meant her mother had been right? She needed to figure it out if she planned to move on. How funny, as if people chose whether or when to move on.

On Tuesday evening, she picked up Tom from the airport, and on the ride home, she let him chatter on, acting as if everything was normal while she mentally edited and revised what she wanted to say. A part of her, pettier than she’d ever let on, had considered not picking him up, changing the locks—it was her house, after all—and hiring a moving company to gather all his things and send them to his work. The visual entertained her and may even have caused her a small amount of pleasure, but no. She’d not do that.

Back home, Tom still went on and on, talking about weekend plans, a new restaurant he wanted to take her to, how they should reinstate date nights—she wondered if this idea hailed from Claudia dumping him—while she just stood there staring at him.

“Are you all right?” he asked, finally picking up on the shift in atmosphere. He fiddled with his belt before opening it and pulling it out of his pants. “I’m going to take a quick shower.”

“No,” Elizabeth said. The first thing she’d properly uttered since saying “Hi” at the airport.

Tom froze with the black leather belt still in his hand, now hanging in the air. “Excuse me?”

“I want a divorce.”

His eyebrows shot up while the hand holding the belt dropped to the side. “What? Why?”

“Because you cheated on me.” Elizabeth’s calm and even tone belied the jackhammer throbbing in her chest, the tendrils of nausea whirling through her stomach.

“I’m sorry.” His gaze found the floor.

Elizabeth tilted her head. “You’re not denying it.”

Silence.

He sighed. “No. I cheated on you, but it’s over, and I never… I was never serious about her. I’m assuming she told you?”

“Why did you do it?”

“I don’t know. We were out in a bar, and she just… She was fun, and I had a few beers too many.”

Elizabeth’s hands found her hips and her posture straightened. “Are you blaming the alcohol or the woman?”

Tom only stared at her.

She wouldn’t reveal any details of how she knew Claudia, as it was immaterial, and while she’d chewed out the younger woman at the office and still simmered with rage when thinking of her, Elizabeth now felt almost protective of Claudia in the face of Tom’s refusal to take ownership of his actions.

Tom sat down at the foot end of the bed. He wiped his hand over his face. “The alcohol and Cl… the woman didn’t help, no. You’ve been so busy recently, and—”

“So have you. Are you seriously blaming me for you fucking another woman for months?”

“I don’t know! Why does someone have to carry the blame? It was a mistake, and she meant nothing. I want to be with you!”

Elizabeth clenched her teeth, trying to squash the ire sloshing through her. “You should have thought of that before you cheated.”

He hung his head but remained quiet.

“And let me tell you something: the woman, the alcohol? None of it mattered. You had a wife, you made a promise, and it was your responsibility to stay faithful! Cheating isn’t a mistake. It’s a conscious decision to break your vows, to have sex with someone other than your spouse. There were always so many moments where you could have put a stop to it, but you didn’t. For months you went back to her. Do mistakes last that long?”

“Liz—”

“I’m not finished! It wasn’t just one night of drunken, exuberant fun, which still would’ve been wrong, but it might’ve been something we could’ve overcome. But that’s not what happened, is it?”

Tom shook his head.

“You returned to her again and again, Tom. You kept having sex with her, then coming home to me. To our bed. You had sex with me after you’d been with her.” She closed her eyes. “Did you at least use protection?”

“Of course! Always!” He paused. “What about counseling? We could see a therapist and talk about what’s wrong with our relationship.”

“What’s wrong is that you screwed another woman behind my back for months. There, money and time saved. There’s no fixing this.” She knew. She’d played through potential ‘solutions,’ in her mind while nearly pacing a hole in her floors.

“With time you—”

“What? You can earn my trust back with years of what? Suspicion? Worry? Mistrust? I don’t want to live like that. I refuse to be with someone I don’t trust, and I don’t trust you anymore.”

He rose and stepped closer, reaching out as if to touch her, but dropped his hand when he noticed her hardened features. “You don’t even want to try? You’re ready to throw it all away? I love you!” His voice cracked.

“No, Tom. You threw it all away the moment you kept letting this woman ride your prick. I hope she was worth it. Go stay with Sebastian or get a hotel room. I don’t want you here.”

“Lizzie, come on! I just got back from Amarillo, and I gotta go to work tomorrow. We have an important meeting, and—”

“I don’t see how any of that is my concern.” She stepped closer. “And don’t call me that. You know I hate it,” she snapped.

He clenched his jaw. “Can I please sleep in the guest room? I promise I’ll be out early tomorrow.”

“And your belongings?”

His eyes widened. “You expect me to pack all my things now and leave?”

“I don’t know, Tom.” She folded her arms in front of her chest. “This isn’t a situation I have a lot of experience with. I just know I don’t want to be around you right now.”

“All right, look. I’ll stay in the guest room. I’ll even shower in the guest bathroom so I’ll be out of your sight.”

“I’ll still know you’re here.”

“Please. I’m so exhausted, and I just need a break.”

She held his dark gaze and wavered. “One night.”

“Thank you.” Tom pressed his hand on his chest. “I’ll be gone early tomorrow and… Maybe you can think about it some more? I don’t know when you learned of this, but probably not too long ago. So, can you make sure this is what you want? My offer to see a counselor stands.”

Elizabeth chuckled wryly. “No, Tom, this isn’t what I want, but you gave me no choice.” Much like Claudia hadn’t, but she wasn’t married to Claudia. She spun around and left their bedroom, heading for her office as pressure settled behind her temples. The last thing she needed was a migraine.

Later that night, miraculously spared from a migraine attack, she lay in bed after sending a few messages back and forth with an exhausted Kat—her work schedule was insane. Raji chose that moment to jump on her bed and meowed. She petted his head while he made biscuits on her blanket before curling up against her.

“At least I have you,” Elizabeth whispered, smiling at Raji’s loud purring. Just being in the same space and listening to him purr helped ease the pressure in her chest.

Good Lord, she’d spend the rest of her life alone.

Gloomy, yes, but in this moment, it truly felt like it. She struggled to form romantic connections with people, and she’d thought Tom would be it. He’d been her friend, her husband, and she’d seen no one else in her future. She’d wanted no one else.

Yet she’d rather be alone than spend years resenting him, with no guarantee she’d be able to get over the hollow emptiness filling her. And if anything did rattle in this cage, it was nothing but blinding fury.

disasters of your own creation

Claudia put the gas nozzle back into the dispenser, and with a grunt, fell back into her seat. She grabbed her sanitizer before reaching for her phone and texting Sammy.

I’m heading your way. I need toiletries and an I told you so. Gonna take me at least 4h to get there. Leaving now.

After receiving Sammy’s thumbs up, followed by a heart and hug emoji that blurred Claudia’s vision for a second, she pulled out of the gas station down the road from Helping Hands and headed toward the freeway.

“Good going, Claud,” she muttered. “Must be a new record. Getting fired one month into your new job.” She hit the brakes, honking at the car in front of her weaving erratically across the lanes. “Watch where you’re going, idiot!” She clenched her jaw. Advice she should have heeded, too.

By the time she finally made it to Sammy’s, the clock struck close to midnight, thanks to several annoying traffic issues.

Sammy welcomed her with a long and tight hug, and engulfed in her friend’s embrace, Claudia allowed a few tears to run free.

“Come on in. I made you some tea. Are you hungry?”

“Thanks.” Claudia’s voice was rough. She cleared her throat. “No, just tea. Herbal, right?”

“Yes, Claud. I’m not about to spike you with caffeine, despite your fondness for Earl Grey.”

Sammy led her into the kitchen where they settled at the breakfast table with two steaming mugs in front of them.

Claudia added a dollop of honey and sighed. “You were right.”

“I’m sorry.”

Claudia nodded. “I’d hoped she’d…” She couldn’t even finish the sentence. In part because she wasn’t sure what she’d hoped. Not getting fired, of course, but maybe Elizabeth seeing things her way. Had she been blind?

“How did she react, aside from firing you?”

“Angry. Because I took away her choice of not knowing.”

Sammy’s eyebrows rose. “Not knowing who you are?”

“Not knowing about Tom.”

“What? She had her suspicions and now she’s angry at you for speaking the truth about her bastard of a husband?” Sammy’s voice rose.

Sammy’s visceral support, while a tad biased, still brought a faint smile to Claudia’s lips. “I don’t know if she had any suspicions, but it didn’t sound like it. She said I made assumptions based on my preference. Like I’d want someone to tell me, and so I expected she’d want it, too. And now she has to take action, you know?”

“Huh. I suppose.”

“She also said it’s easier to start anew when you’re younger. As if she’s old.” Claudia scoffed.

“Isn’t she in her late forties? That’s different from your twenties.”

Claudia waved her off. “She’s forty-six, and obviously the forties are a different stage in life than the twenties, but it’s not like she’s old or incapable of finding someone better. Someone who appreciates what he has!”

Sammy chuckled. “And to you, Tom didn’t do that?”

“Duh! He cheated on her.”

Sammy shrugged. “Perhaps she’s a dragon.”

Claudia slammed her mug down, tea sloshing over the rim. “Really? That’s kinda…well, no. That’s an awful thing to say.”

“How so?”

“First, you assume since he cheated, Elizabeth must be terrible to live with.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You kinda did. It makes it sound like cheating is acceptable if your partner is awful. If you’re unhappy in your relationship, end it. If you fall for someone else and prefer them over your partner, end your relationship. How hard is that? No. Tom is to blame, and honestly, how can Elizabeth be a terrible person when she started something like Helping Hands?”

Sammy smiled fondly at Claudia, who longed to wipe the indulgent expression off her face.

“What?” she grumbled.

“You’re such an innocent, sweet summer child sometimes.”

Claudia narrowed her eyes. “I’m not.”

“Look, not all charities or charitable contributions are done out of the goodness of people’s hearts. Often, hard and logical calculations fit into such decisions. People like to be seen as the hero, the person who helps and saves others. It’s fantastic for your image.”

“We’re not talking politics.”

“No, but it’s the same in the real world.”

Claudia clenched her jaw. “What clout does Elizabeth get for heading the charity for the last twenty years? She used her own money to get it started, which was quite the risk, especially back then.”

“You shouldn’t word it like that around her because you make her sound positively ancient. ‘Back then.’” Sammy snorted.

Claudia flushed. “I doubt I’ll see her again, and it’s not what I meant.”

“How do you know about Elizabeth and her charity?”

“I researched her after I’d applied for the job.”

Sammy nodded. “To get back to what you were asking earlier: Some people enjoy the praise and appreciation they receive when helping others. It doesn’t have to be a monetary gain. I also doubt Elizabeth would invest her money to the point where she’d end up broke. Again, calculated risk.”

“You don’t know that.”

“No, and neither do you. But I’m a better judge of character, and—”

“You always assume the worst of people.”

“I don’t. I assume people operate on self-interest, and there’s nothing inherently wrong with that. It doesn’t make them bad people,” Sammy said.

“It makes them selfish.”

“If their self-interest injures others, yes, otherwise, it makes them smart.”

Claudia groaned. “I’m too tired for this discussion.”

“All right. I set up your room and left toiletries in the guest bathroom. You know your way around. If you need to talk…”

Claudia squeezed Sammy’s hand. “Thank you. For everything.”

“Of course. Goodnight. You’ll figure it out.” Sammy stepped closer and kissed Claudia’s temple before leaving the kitchen.

Claudia spent the next three days holed up at Sammy’s, feeling sorry for herself and refusing to contemplate her next steps. She needed to first digest what had happened and overcome the unfairness of it all. Sometimes, she had an urge to seek out Tom and shout at him. She would never do this for many reasons, but the image, picturing such a scenario, felt mostly satisfying.

She hoped Elizabeth tore into him. Though she still felt somewhat miffed by Elizabeth’s reaction, too. Claudia had never meant to hurt her and wasn’t the truth just that? She couldn’t change any of it. The business with Tom was done, but it had happened.

Why Elizabeth would have preferred ignorance was beyond her, and this notion kept rattling in her skull. Claudia couldn’t tell if this was driven by her need to understand or by the sting of Elizabeth’s parting words. She had made her feel like a child.

Claudia knew people saw the world differently, and she didn’t assume everyone shared her views on things. But shouldn’t the desire for a relationship built on honesty and mutual understanding be one of the few universal hopes uniting people?

How could a relationship, a marriage, work without these two ingredients? How unfair would it be to falsely believe you had them, while your partner ran around having sex with others?

At the same time, she knew Elizabeth had been sincere in what she’d said. And this disconnect refused to leave Claudia alone. It just kept playing in her head like a damn movie she never wanted to see in the first place. Worst of all, her mind refused to contemplate much else.

Back home, she spent the weekend much the same, although she avoided telling her family over lunch on Sunday what had happened. Her mother could tell something was off, but for now, she seemed to have decided to let Claudia stew for a little. Miracles happened sometimes.

She resisted the urge to contact Elizabeth and apologize again. Could apologies turn into harassment? She didn’t want to find out. Claudia went running every day, using the exercise to try to get her mind to shut up.

Jobwise, she likely would have to beg Klara for her position at Little Feet and see what else was out there in the legal field. She had a bit of breathing room because of her savings. It wasn’t a lot, and it only worked because her apartment was rent controlled, but it was something. It also meant she didn’t have to jump back in yesterday. She could allow herself to catch her bearings and see what her next steps should be. Claudia hated having lost her job at Helping Hands. It had been so perfect. Damn Tom for ruining that, too.

On Monday evening, her phone rang. Expecting Sammy since no one else had a habit of calling her out of the blue, she answered her cell without glancing at the screen. “Hey. I thought you’d be tired of me after last week.”

Silence.

“Ms. Khoury? I doubt I’m the person you were anticipating.”

Claudia’s eyes widened and her face burned at hearing Elizabeth’s voice. To be fair, she was the last person she expected to hear from. What now? Was she going to sue her?

“Oh. No. I’m sorry. I thought you were Sammy. My best friend, she’s the only one who…” She rolled her lips. “Never mind. How may I help you?”

“I’d like to talk to you, but not over the phone or via text messages.”

“Talk to me about what?” Claudia asked.

“Your job, and what happened last Monday.”

Claudia didn’t know what to make of this, and for a moment, she even wondered if it was a cruel joke. “Are you serious?”

“Of course. I’m not one for pranks or wasting time.”

Claudia nodded, and when she realized Elizabeth couldn’t see her, she hurried to add, “Right.”

“Will you come to the office tomorrow evening? I should be done with my day by five, so you could arrive then, if you’re amenable.”

“I’ll be there.”

“Great.”

They said their goodbyes and hung up. Claudia stared at the phone in her hand as if she’d never seen one before. What had just happened? She never thought she’d hear from Elizabeth or Helping Hands again. In fact, she’d assumed they’d also strike her off their volunteer list.

Elizabeth would hardly call her in just to shout at her. She couldn’t exactly fire her again. And people rarely met with others to slap a restraining order on them. Ugh. Claudia dropped on the couch, hiding her face in a pillow. This would be on her mind until she saw Elizabeth again. And here she’d thought she was done with it all.

no pasture for you

Elizabeth’s cell phone rang on Wednesday afternoon, tearing her out of the stupor she’d fallen into while idling on the couch in her house that now seemed way too big for just Raji and her. She groaned when she gazed at the screen and saw her mother’s name. Elizabeth’s finger hovered over the side button. Her mother was the last person she wanted to talk to in her current state, but it would only make things worse since Mary was a bloodhound who could sniff out weakness even from across the Atlantic Ocean.

“Hi, Mother,” she said in greeting, hoping to sound cheerful enough.

“Hello, darling. How are you?”

“All right.” Definitely better after kicking Tom out in a much less dramatic fashion than she’d expected. “How about you?”

“Aside from a never-ending searing back pain my doctor says comes with age, I’m doing well.”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes, anticipating the next few words.

“But you’ll see. I used to think your dear grandmother exaggerated with her aches and pains, with her forewarnings of the troubles of old age.” Mary sighed. “She was right, though, and you will see, too.”

“I hope it’ll get better soon.” Because what else could she say? And no, she’d been close to her father’s mother. Her maternal grandmother had been more…challenging, and quite mean-spirited.

Mary sniffed. “How’s Tom? Is he still so busy at work? You must be more available to him. Men need their wife present at home.”

“He’s fine, Mother.” She didn’t want to talk about Tom, not at all prepared for that conversation. Her feelings were still all over the place, and depending on the time of day, fury or sorrow reigned, and adding her mother’s commentary to the mix seemed as helpful as mixing bleach with ammonia.

“If you don’t heed my advice, you might have to learn the hard way.”

Elizabeth clenched her jaw. She doubted Tom had cheated on her because she worked too much. She didn’t. In fact, she worked less than he did, yet he still managed to find time for an extramarital affair. Elizabeth had prioritized her marriage, and for the longest time, she’d thought Tom had done the same. “Wait, what did you say?”

Mary sighed theatrically. “I asked whether you’re done with this Helping Hands nonsense by now? Aren’t those freeloaders taken care of after all these years? All the time and money you have poured into these…people.”

Elizabeth pinched the bridge of her nose. “Oh, Mother, Tom’s coming home. Let’s chat another time, all right? Hope you feel better. Bye.” Without waiting for an answer, she hung up. She knew if the conversation continued, it would only revolve more around her ‘wasteful’ work, her ‘late-in-life’ marriage ensuring she’d never have children, and every other topic driving Elizabeth up the wall. Hard to bear on a regular day, but right now, impossible, at least while remaining civil.

Defending her work was useless. Pointing out the sponsors she’d charmed into participating in the Christmas dinner event wouldn’t matter. Even mentioning the several new donors she’d added to their roster would leave her mother unimpressed as ever.

Yes, she might have started Helping Hands because her mother would hate it, but the charity and the work they did had grown on her. It was less soul sucking than anything her mother had envisioned for her future.

She suddenly wondered if Claudia heard the same chorus from her parents. Did they urge her to get married? Would they have liked and approved of Tom as a future son-in-law? What about children? Tom had told her he had no interest whatsoever in being a father, and at the point they’d gotten serious, Elizabeth had already resigned herself to a child-free life, so that had mattered little to her.

She shouldn’t be thinking about Claudia and Tom in that way. Why did Claudia take up so much of her mental space? Because you were incredibly harsh and unfair. You’d think her own mind would be on her side, but apparently not. When she’d texted with Kat, her friend had pointed out that she might have overreacted and cost herself a great employee, though she also acknowledged that it wouldn’t be easy to see Claudia most days given their connection. Kat’s solution? Rehire her and stay professional. Remain above it all and set some serious ground rules. Elizabeth didn’t hate the idea.

While she didn’t really know Claudia, Elizabeth excelled at reading people, and Claudia had been both honest and sincere. There was no way she’d give Tom another chance, and what she did with the rest of her life, well, it was none of Elizabeth’s business.

~ ~ ~

Friday was game day—not football. Cards. Canasta. Today, they’d play at Catherine Summers’ place. They’d met around six years ago through a mutual acquaintance who’d felt Catherine—the co-founder and CEO of Silsum Tech, along with her husband, Robert—would be interested in becoming a sponsor for Helping Hands. Catherine had been excited about the prospect, and since that day, she and their tech company had become major sponsors.

Elizabeth had also become friendly with Catherine in the process, and for the last three years, she had joined Catherine’s canasta round held one Friday a month, rotating who hosted the game among the four players.

They always played in alternating teams. Tonight, she’d play with Catherine. She preferred playing with her over Lauren and Sandra. The latter was still the better option compared to Lauren, though, who, while not a bad player, had a mean streak that made Elizabeth uncomfortable. She knew the type, and she usually avoided them, but Catherine and Lauren were old friends, so that proved to be moot.

She’d had no plan on sharing what had happened with Tom, yet after a glass of wine and winning the first round—basically thrashing Lauren and Sandra—it just spilled out.

“Tom and I are getting a divorce.”

All gazes snapped to her, and Elizabeth immediately regretted saying anything.

“Are you all right?” Catherine found her voice first, the card game forgotten for now.

“I’m…hanging in there.”

“Why did he leave you?” Lauren asked.

Elizabeth gritted her teeth.

“Why would you assume he left her?” Sandra asked.

Lauren shrugged.

“I filed for divorce.” Elizabeth refrained from raising her chin.

Catherine reached out and squeezed Elizabeth’s hand. “I’m sorry, dear.”

“Thank you.”

“You hadn’t been married all that long, correct?” Lauren asked.

“Five years.”

Lauren hummed. “It’s better to nip these things in the bud. My daughters’ marriages are fairly new, too, especially Gretchen’s, but they’ve both chosen well, and I have high hopes they won’t become another statistic.” Lauren picked up her tumbler, sipping her whiskey.

“There’s no shame in divorce,” Catherine said. “Sometimes people don’t fit. Why torture yourself by staying with someone who makes you miserable? You’ll find your feet again. You’re still young.”

“Not that young, and men marry younger.”

“Stop being mean, Lauren,” Sandra said.

“I’m not mean, just realistic. She needs to know what’s out there.”

“Elizabeth isn’t a newborn foal in need of protection,” Sandra pointed out.

“Exactly. She’s close to being sent out on the pasture where we’re already grazing.”

“Speak for yourself,” Catherine said. “I still got plenty of life in me. Don’t they say forty is the new thirty? That makes us—”

Lauren snorted. “Not forty.”

Elizabeth sighed. The wine must have infused her with the delusion that blurting out her situation with Tom during game night with Lauren present was a good idea, because for the life of her, she should have known better. “Either way, I just wanted you ladies to know about this change in my living situation. It’s for the best, in the end.”

“Of course it is.” This time, Catherine patted her hand. “Why else would you’ve done it?”

Why else indeed? She wished she had someone who would truly understand her and what she was going through. Elizabeth should talk more to Kat about all of this, but her friend’s schedule made this difficult, and she abhorred being a bother.

What she dreaded most, however, was slipping back into the state she’d been in during her mid-thirties, when burnout had driven her to seek therapy. Back then, migraines had plagued her almost daily. She had learned to manage her workload better since, but the recent stress made her fear a relapse.

On her drive home, she contemplated searching for a new therapist and talking this through. But the idea didn’t sit right with her. Elizabeth wanted a friendly conversation with someone who cared about her, and who’d understand—not pat her hand or insinuate she’d be put out on pasture. Although Lauren never insinuated, she outright insulted. In the end, Elizabeth didn’t know what had stung more—Catherine’s placating comfort or Lauren’s bitter prognosis.

~ ~ ~

As Elizabeth walked toward her office on Tuesday morning, her steps slowed down when she passed the now empty office of their legal advisor. Their confrontation played in her mind, along with Kat’s words, voicing what her conscience had already told her. She wondered if asking Claudia back had been wise. Assuaging one’s conscience could backfire, too.

After she’d settled at her desk ready to return to work, Tilda joined her.

“Do you want me to run the ad for a new legal advisor again?”

Elizabeth held her gaze, but before she could answer and tell her that she’d set up an appointment to discuss rehiring Claudia, Tilda continued, “Of course, if you keep insisting on firing talented and promising personnel, you’ll end up with a permanent vacancy. That will hardly serve our patrons.”

Elizabeth frowned. “What are you suggesting?”

“Nothing. I’m merely sharing an observation.”

“Right.” Elizabeth refrained from rolling her eyes. “That won’t be necessary.”

Tilda’s eyebrows rose, but when Elizabeth didn’t elaborate, she said, “As you wish,” turning to leave her office.

“Wait, Tilda. When did you sent Ms. Khoury’s termination papers to HR?”

Tilda halted before pivoting in slow motion. Was that color high in her cheeks? Elizabeth had to be imagining things and should make an appointment to see her eye doctor.

“I apologize. It must have slipped my mind.” Tilda cleared her throat. “They should still be on my desk. Do you want me to get them?”

“Yes, please.”

A moment later, and with the papers on her desk, Elizabeth’s gaze grew vacant.

The fact Claudia had left a mark on people after only a month’s work, even managing to win over Tilda, of all people, impressed Elizabeth. It sparked hope her decision to rehire her wouldn’t shape up to be a total disaster.

As she sat there, staring at her screen instead of getting actual work done, her thoughts spun in circles. Elizabeth loathed to apologize. She wasn’t incapable of it, but she’d always done so begrudgingly and with some sense of resentment. She supposed it was another trait she shared with her mother. Yet she also didn’t want to be one of those people who blamed all their issues and flaws on their mother.

She still worried if she could handle being around Claudia at work, but this didn’t change she’d been wrong with how she’d treated Claudia. In fact, if the woman hadn’t still been within her probationary period, she’d have had the right to sue Elizabeth for wrongful termination. Kat’s suggestion the other day—being professional and keeping her distance— had merit, but it didn’t guarantee a success. Of course, rehiring Claudia didn’t mean she’d work for Elizabeth forever.

Claudia seemed the type who wandered over boundaries in her youthful assurance of doing the “right thing.” They needed to talk about it, and setting boundaries should go a long way. Elizabeth could only hope she wouldn’t live to regret this.

formicidae and coffee

Tuesday morning, Claudia set to cleaning her apartment, trying to rid herself of the nervous energy swamping her system. She felt almost like she had the summer she’d been nine years old, playing in the yard and not realizing she had been sitting next to an anthill until tiny feet had crawled under her shirt and up her pants leg. She had jumped wildly—flailing her arms before swatting at her body, hopping from leg to leg as if lost in some spiritual peyote trance—at least it must have looked that way to a spectator.

Claudia wasn’t dancing like this now, at least not on the outside. But she struggled to stay still, and the flitters tingling through her resembled those pesky, fascinating, freakishly strong crawlers.

She’d eaten little all day, too nervous to even notice hunger, although she’d emptied one water bottle after the other to where she’d contemplated for a second if she needed to get checked for diabetes. Finally, the clock struck four and she could justify getting ready to head to the office. She arrived in the parking lot close to five and stayed in the car, her fingers drumming on the steering wheel as her mind conjured up potential scenarios of what awaited her in Elizabeth’s office.

Ten minutes later, she marched toward the building. After passing through security, she found herself hesitating once she arrived in front of Elizabeth’s door. The memories of the last time she stood there, along with its painful consequences, flooded her mind. She shook them off and knocked.

“Come in.”

Claudia opened the door, struck by an immediate sense of déjà vu as she saw Elizabeth behind her desk, once more engrossed in work. This time, though, her long, brown hair framed her shoulders in soft curls. Instead of a suit, she wore a light button-down V-neck blouse with a stand collar, paired with black slacks. Claudia found it exasperating that Elizabeth still appealed to her so much. Talk about unprofessional.

Elizabeth raised her head, her expression inscrutable, but again, Claudia thought of ants. Not that Elizabeth resembled one, but Claudia might as well have been an ant under the icy stare hardening Elizabeth’s soft features.

“You wished to see me.” Claudia found her voice.

“Yes, thank you for meeting me.”

She merely held Elizabeth’s gaze.

A moment of silence stretched between them before Elizabeth asked Claudia to sit, which she did.

Elizabeth leaned back in her chair, her fingers toying with the deep-blue fountain pen in her hand. “I may have acted rashly the last time we talked.”

Claudia remained silent. Pointing out that ‘may have’ sounded like a nice euphemism, wouldn’t improve her already shaky standing.

Elizabeth’s gaze dropped to her hands. “This isn’t easy, but whatever may have happened in our personal lives shouldn’t influence the work we do here, especially when such work has been exemplary and shows great promise.”

Claudia wondered if Elizabeth could hear the frantic beating of her heart. “What does that mean?”

It almost looked as if it cost Elizabeth to continue speaking. “It means you are an asset to Helping Hands, and that is much more important than…the rest.”

Disbelief rushed through Claudia. “Do I have my job back?”

“If you wish. Tilda, apparently, forgot to send your termination papers to HR, so you theoretically never lost your job.”

“Oh, that’s…good.”

“Yes.” Elizabeth looked like she was fighting off a small smile. “How very fortunate something slipped Tilda’s mind.”

Claudia, on the other hand, couldn’t suppress a grin.

Elizabeth sighed.

“So, will we forget about last Monday and never talk about…all of it”—Claudia waved between them—“or do you wish to clear the air and, I don’t know? Do you want to talk about anything else? We did plan to meet for coffee.”

Elizabeth raised one eyebrow. “The meeting you stood me up for?”

Claudia ducked her head. “Yes.”

“And you feel there should be a raincheck?”

“Why not? We wouldn’t even have to leave the office. There’s a machine in the kitchen. I could make us some coffee and we can sit down and…talk?” Claudia hated how hopeful her voice sounded. She couldn’t tell why this was so important to her. She realized she likely should have just shut up, thanked Elizabeth for unfiring her and followed her lead regarding all things Tom. But this also would have driven her to distraction. She wanted things to be OK between them, or as all right as they could be, given the mountain that stood between them.

Elizabeth released a rough chuckle, the sound hitting Claudia like a punch. “I suppose we could have the coffee meeting we missed, and once we’ve cleared the air, everything relating to Tom and your history with him will be a non-topic. When we interact after today, it will be about Helping Hands and the business at hand only.”

Claudia deflated a little, but knowing this remained an incredible offer, she hastily agreed. “Of course.”

“Good. I’ll admit, though, I’m not particularly fond of the…coffee that machine produces. Coffee from the café across the street is acceptable in a pinch. Thankfully, I have my own over here.” Elizabeth pointed toward a sideboard standing in the corner that housed a miniature starship—all sleek and silver—masquerading as a coffee machine.

“Uh, I’m not sure I’ve ever used one of those.” The last thing Claudia needed was to break Elizabeth’s fancy coffee machine accidentally.

Elizabeth rose and strode toward the machine. “It’s not rocket science. Someone who can succeed in law school should be able to use a mere coffee machine.”

Claudia’s eyebrows rose. There was nothing ‘mere’ about the futuristic gadget. If the Decepticons used the AllSpark on this thing, it would give Megatron a run for his money.

Elizabeth turned the machine on, set a mug under its spout, and pressed a series of buttons.

Claudia struggled to pay attention to the exact buttons Elizabeth pressed, distracted by her long, slender—ringless—fingers.

“And that’s it. All you have left to do is press start and it’ll grind your selection of beans. Do you prefer a light, medium, or dark roast?”

“Huh?” Claudia’s gaze shot back to Elizabeth’s face, and her serious expression reminded Claudia that this wasn’t a fun chat between friends. This was still business. Personal business, but business, nevertheless. “Oh, right. A dark roast.” She needed the least amount of caffeine possible, even if the difference was minimal, and given the hour and the company, she’d have actually preferred an herbal tea.

Elizabeth hummed and prepared her own coffee, black, a drop of cream but no sweetener, before she once more turned to Claudia. “Your preference?” She pressed another selection of buttons, and the machine jumped to life again.

“Uh, cream and one sugar, or honey. But no artificial sweetener.”

The coffee finished brewing. Elizabeth added a shot of cream and a spoonful of honey before pushing the cup toward Claudia. “There you go.”

“Thank you.”

Elizabeth headed for the couch at the back of her office next to a large window and a series of plants Claudia couldn’t identify, though one seemed to be a palm tree.

Joining her, Claudia settled on the other end and sipped her coffee. “Oh, wow.” She licked her lips. “This is delicious.”

“I know.” Elizabeth drank from her own cup.

Claudia suppressed a smile.

“Why did you first decide to contact me?” Elizabeth began, raising her hand when Claudia opened her mouth. “No, wait. You didn’t know who I was, or better, that this Elizabeth Pittin, as you called me, and your new boss were the same person.”

“That’s right.”

“Would you still have texted me if you’d known?”

Claudia’s eyes lost focus as she contemplated the question. “I don’t know. I would’ve wanted to tell you, and I’m sure I’d have come up with some way to do that. Likely the wrong or most clumsy one, but I’d have still wanted you to know.”

“But what’s the benefit for you? What did you hope to gain?” Elizabeth asked.

“Nothing. I told you before, I didn’t contact you because I want something. I just…I really hate liars and cheaters, and I’m pissed Tom involved me in this. He may have made me an accessory to infidelity, but I refuse to be turned into a liar.” She raised her chin.

“The self-righteousness of youth.”

Claudia frowned. “I don’t see how this relates to age. I hated liars in kindergarten when Jenny accused me of having ripped off her Barbie’s head on purpose. I doubt this trait will change with time.”

Elizabeth frowned. “How do you decapitate a doll by accident?”

Claudia folded her arms, exasperated at how defensive she still felt over that old tale. “I was walking and brushing the Barbie’s hair when I stumbled, well, I ran into something and fell. In the tussle”—Claudia shrugged—“it came off.”

Elizabeth’s lips tightened, but it seemed she was trying to hide a smile. “Are you still in the habit of running into things, or did you grow out of that?”

Claudia flushed. She wished Elizabeth wasn’t so damn attractive and that her eyes were less startling, less vibrantly blue. But professionalism. She needed to keep that in mind. The coffee meeting was a blip, a one-time occurrence to lay this issue between them to rest. “Let’s say it’s not rare for my legs and arms to be bruised, and I often don’t know how it happened.”

Elizabeth’s brows knitted together. “Because you bump into things a lot?”

Claudia sighed. “Obviously.”

“Good.”

“That I’m clumsy?”

“That no one else is the cause of such injuries.”

“Oh. Right. Yes. I’d not let that happen.”

A shadow fell over Elizabeth’s face. “I’m not sure it’s that easy.”

“I didn’t mean to insinuate that women in abusive relationships are weak or are allowing themselves to be abused.”

“I’d hope not because that would be awful and quite unfitting of your position here.”

Claudia sunk back against the cushion. “Of course. It’s just… My parents always preached that I should marry a good man, and that a good man doesn’t hurt his wife. And I hope I’d see any red flags early on, but yes, you never know.”

“And you listen to your parents?”

Claudia grinned. “When I agree with them.”

“Well, it is good advice.”

“Yes, though I’d amend it to partner to be more inclusive. You can get abused in a relationship with a woman, too, and enough men are victims of domestic abuse as well.”

“Very true.” Elizabeth’s fingers drummed against her cup. “Let’s get to the pictures, shall we?”

Claudia frowned. Wait, pictures? “Oh.” She swallowed hard. “OK.” She blinked. Elizabeth had surprised her, and their conversation and the mood between them felt both disorienting and invigorating. Claudia wasn’t sure what to make of it, and she wished this wouldn’t be a one-time ‘all cards on the table’ thing.

She opened the gallery on her phone. Claudia hoped it would be enough and Elizabeth wouldn’t want to look at their text thread. She didn’t know why, but the notion of Elizabeth reading her messages with Tom filled her with unease, and more than a little mortification. She didn’t want Elizabeth to see her like that, especially since she’d never have the opportunity to get to know Claudia to form her own unbiased opinion on a personal level.

a lingering sadness

She braced herself, not sure she could handle what Claudia’s phone was about to reveal. Even though Elizabeth had asked her to stop by today, she’d startled when, upon looking up, her gaze landed on a fresh-faced Claudia, her long black hair tied up in a loose bun, clad in skinny jeans and a loose maroon long-sleeve shirt. Not a lick of make-up on her tan, pretty face. Her brown eyes glowed brightly, but she’d noticed the telltale signs of nerves in the way Claudia clenched her hands and in her too-straight posture. She’d expected nerves, yet what she’d not anticipated was how much it stung to see her, the reminder of the gulf separating them—that this was the face that had attracted Tom enough to cheat. There truly was no way to compete, not that she intended to do so.

She also hadn’t seen this moment coming, sitting with Claudia on her couch, drinking coffee after a not-so-unpleasant exchange. In another world, this could have been a meeting between friends. But now, she needed boundaries and rules. Once this business with Tom was done, they’d go back to a professional relationship.

Elizabeth smoothed her expression to remain impassive, at least outwardly. Her heart pumped so fast, she felt almost dizzy as soon as she held Claudia’s phone.

“Thank you,” Elizabeth rasped.

“Keep sliding to the left. This is the first picture.”

Elizabeth nodded as if in a trance, her gaze glued to the image before her—Claudia smiling with a fruity-looking drink in her hand, her arm slung around Tom. With a beer bottle in his hand, he was pressing his cheek to Claudia’s, while his arm held her close. He looked happy. She swiped to see the next picture—the two of them without drinks, but still entwined. If she didn’t know any better, she’d think these were beautiful images of a couple in love. They looked good together, better than she and Tom ever had. She froze at the next image, as it showed them kissing deeply. Her stomach dropped and her heart, against expectations, slowed to a crawl.

Elizabeth zoomed in on the picture, trying to discern any signs of editing. To be fair, Claudia had seemed terribly earnest from the moment she’d interviewed her, and she knew this wasn’t anything other than the truth, yet a part of her still wished she could wake up from this nightmare and have her old life back.

The next pictures were more innocent but still showed a quiet, content togetherness. She returned the phone to Claudia. “I’ve seen enough.”

“I’m truly sorry.” Claudia’s eyes brimmed with sorrow, and the expression—not pity, but something that stung—infuriated Elizabeth. Never mind, how often did she plan on apologizing?

“For fucking my husband?” Elizabeth blurted out, both exasperated with Claudia and herself.

Claudia’s eyes widened, and she lowered her gaze. “Yes. Again, I’d have never even looked at him if he’d worn his ring.”

“So you keep saying.”

“Because it bears repeating.”

Elizabeth canted her head. “Does it relieve your guilty conscience?”

Claudia released a harsh breath. “No. I still feel terrible.”

Elizabeth wondered why this didn’t make her feel any better.

Claudia’s phone rang. She started but checked the display. “I’m so sorry, but I gotta take this. It’s my mom and… Never mind.”

Elizabeth nodded and leaned back, curious about what she’d learn from the conversation.

“Hi, Mom. Chou? No, akid I’ll be there on Sunday. Wait, teta said that? Are you sure it wasn’t just a—” Claudia sighed. “No, of course not. Eh, baarif.” She nodded, giving Elizabeth a rueful little smile. “Yes, will do. OK. OK. Yallah bye.” She hung up and placed her phone screen down on the coffee table.

“Is everything all right?”

“Hmm? Oh, yes. Usual family drama. I have lunch at my parents’ place every Sunday, and let’s say it’s usually an adventure.”

“What language was that?”

“Arabic. I’m from Lebanon. Well, my parents are. They moved here before they had me.”

“You’re fluent in both languages?”

“Yes, well, English, Arabic, and Spanish. My parents are big on education and figured speaking more languages would benefit me.”

“They are correct.” Elizabeth felt impressed despite herself.

“Yeah. I’ll be able to take on patrons speaking those languages, too.”

“I’ll have to tell Tilda to add that to your file. In fact, you should put that on your resume.”

Claudia nodded.

“You worked at a daycare before, right? That’s an odd choice for someone with your degree.” Why was she prolonging their conversation? Besides, they were supposed to discuss ground rules and work.

“It is. I just needed a break and kinda fell into Little Feet. The daycare I worked at.”

“You must love children.”

“I suppose. I like them enough, but I’m great with them. And it’s always something new. They keep things interesting.”

“That I believe.”

“You’re not a fan of children?” Claudia asked.

“No, no. I like them. They’re adorable.” She could tell Claudia wrestled with her next question, so she decided to spare her. “I don’t have children of my own. The timing never worked out.”

Claudia nodded. “So, rules?” she asked after stillness had once more spread between them.

“Yes, rules.” Elizabeth needed to follow Kat’s advice because she had to find a way to work with Claudia and keep seeing her without thinking of Tom and their affair. Lord, she should have been the one to bring this up again. Why was she so distracted? “No more talking about Tom, about your affair, about my marriage. We are not friends. I’m your boss, and you’re an employee of Helping Hands. All our future interactions will relate to business. No more coffee get-togethers or anything else.” She’d never been friends with an employee and considered such behavior risky. Besides, a friendship with Claudia would never work.

“OK.”

“Good. With these rules and some distance, I hope the memory of what got us here will fade.”

“All right. Is there anything you need me to do or not do, or not say or whatever? What do you need from me?”

Elizabeth startled. What a strange question from this odd woman who seemed so open it almost pained Elizabeth. How could you live your life like that? “Your job. I need you to do your job.”

She didn’t like how Claudia’s face fell, but she recovered quickly and raised her head, nodding.

“Of course.”

“Excellent.” Elizabeth returned Claudia’s ID before rising and striding back to her computer, effectively dismissing Claudia.

Claudia lingered for a moment, nodding once more before leaving.

Elizabeth recalled Kat’s insistence on professionalism: “Listen, Liz, sometimes we don’t like the people we have to work with, and that’s OK. You can’t force that. At times, you don’t get along with someone, and they’ve done nothing to you. Here, you’re in an extreme situation, and no one would blame you for getting rid of her. It would be human, really. But I know this goes against your affinity for fairness, so you’ll just have to be professional and do your work.”

Easier said than done when the person in question had destroyed her marriage.

Whenever Elizabeth thought about this, her fury rose, not at Tom but herself. She shouldn’t blame Claudia, yet her instinctual reaction still wanted to go there—blaming the one with whom she had no connection, no ties, no marriage vows. It would be so much easier. But she couldn’t. Otherwise, she would also work things out with Tom. She didn’t want to take the easy way out because she knew down the road, she’d hate herself for it, and Tom, too. But still, she’d not be alone if she could place the sole blame on Claudia.

Instead, Elizabeth would now have to be professional and avoid allowing the past to intrude on the present. At least she wouldn’t have to work with her directly. She had hated that wounded puppy expression, and she’d been grateful Claudia had smoothed it quickly, because Elizabeth feared it would eventually make her cave.

Back home in her lonely, empty house—it truly was way too big for just her and Raji—she showered and warmed up a microwave dinner since she didn’t feel like cooking or ordering take-out. Elizabeth put on some music and curled up on the couch. She lay there, too tired to read, but happy when Raji jumped up and fell asleep pressed up against her chest.

This was her life now. Work and Raji.

She was being melodramatic, but she was sad. Seeing those pictures today had hurt more than she’d realized. She knew Claudia had spoken the truth and Tom had admitted as much, but no, she’d had to go there and see it with her own eyes. Morbid curiosity be damned.

When she closed her eyes, she saw their smiles again and again. They’d looked happy. Tom had looked so joyful. Elizabeth had thought she and Tom had been happy or content. They had a good life, and she’d seen no end, only for it to fall at her feet, against her will. Yet there was nothing she could do to change it, at least nothing she could live with.

Elizabeth never knew tears could sting. She might as well sit on Mars right now and be just as far away from where she wanted to be as she found herself on her couch in her silent home.

She petted Raji, and for a moment, she hated both Claudia and Tom. While Claudia might not be at fault, she’d still hurt Elizabeth, and the injury didn’t smart any less because Claudia hadn’t known.

how to get better at recognizing underlying power structures and still ignore them

Though Claudia had the urge to call Sammy right after she got home from her visit with Elizabeth, she felt mostly incoherent and decided to sleep on it first. Maybe it had all been a dream.

She’d hoped for a positive outcome when Elizabeth requested to meet her, but she’d tried to temper her tendency toward lofty, hopeful flight. The crash always hurt too much. But somehow, she still seemed mostly suspended in mid-air.

When she stepped foot into Helping Hands the next morning, she swatted at a few remaining tendrils of fear that all of this had been some kind of joke. Once she passed Tilda, who gave her what almost counted as a smile and a nod, Claudia straightened, and her pace increased until she disappeared in her office, ready for another day at the job she had thought lost.

One woman she saw today had been on her appointment book from last week, and her first words after greeting Claudia were: “I hope you’re feeling better. My uncle also caught the flu recently, and it was gnarly.”

Claudia’s eyebrows rose, but she covered her surprise. “Yes, thank you. I’m much better.” She wondered if she should fake a cough, but also didn’t want to make the woman fear she was still infectious. Not that she had been sick, but the woman didn’t know that. On that note, who’d told her she’d been sick? Before her mental speed-race off the cliff could continue, Ms. Tinnes peppered her with a million questions about various legal issues at hand. And so Claudia went to work.

By the time her workday concluded, she’d only seen Elizabeth once in passing in the hallway. They’d greeted each other with a smile. Well, Claudia had grinned like an idiot and waved at Elizabeth who’d nodded agreeably. At least Claudia chose to interpret her small, polite smile as such.

On her way home, she stopped by her parents’ house and ate dinner with them, much to teta’s delight. They chatted about Claudia’s job, how Johnny’s new wife seemed nice (her mother offered a play-by-play of their run-in the other day), and teta’s next visit to Sonia’s, while her father asked Claudia for an animal with six feet where the last letter of seven was a D. He loved crossword puzzles, unlike Claudia, who only stared at him blankly until he grumbled and refocused on his booklet.

Back home, she finally video-called Sammy.

“You won’t believe what happened!” Claudia greeted her friend.

Sammy chuckled. “Hello, to you, too.”

“Yes, yes. Guess what?”

“What?”

“I’m back at Helping Hands, and Elizabeth isn’t mad at me anymore. Well, she might still be, but she wants to separate the personal and the professional and also, we had coffee and cleared the air. So now we can go back to how things were, being professional and all.”

“Wait, what? OK, tell me from the beginning.”

After Claudia finished her tale, Sammy leaned back in her chair. “Oh, wow. That’s…unexpected.”

“I know.”

“Why do you seem both excited and sad?”

Claudia sighed. “Because I am?”

“Are you having any regrets? You don’t have to work there if it’s too hard for you. It’s asking a lot of you both, really.”

“No, no. I love this job. It’s perfect and exactly what I’ve always dreamed of doing.”

“But?”

“The moment with Elizabeth when we sat together and had coffee… I kinda liked it.”

“That’s good, right? It means you’ll be able to get over what happened, so your job shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Yeah, of course. It’s not that. I meant what I said last time. She was a lot of fun. Well, when we’d texted and before I knew who she was, before she saw me as just her employee.”

“You are just her employee.”

Claudia grumbled.

“I take it that’s the problem?”

“There were some moments during our talk when I saw more of her, not just the professional façade, and I… I suppose I wish we could explore that.”

“You want to be friends with your boss? The one who is getting divorced because her husband couldn’t resist you and broke his marriage vows? That one?”

“Why do you have to put it like that?”

“Because that’s how it is. Look, I adore you, and I think you’re awesome. I’m lucky to be your friend, and ordinarily, I’d say Elizabeth would be lucky to have you as her friend, too.”

“Aww.”

Sammy narrowed her eyes. “Shut it. My point is, the rift between you is impossible to bridge, more so, you shouldn’t even try.”

“Why? Are we bound by a past we didn’t even choose? How’s that fair?”

Sammy did a face palm and muttered something into her hand Claudia didn’t fully catch, but it sounded suspiciously like, “Lord, give me strength.”

Claudia pouted. Sammy wasn’t even religious.

“To start with a platitude, life isn’t fair. But look, first, you’d have to assume Elizabeth found you just as interesting, and that is doubtful.”

“Hey! I’m likable.”

“Yes, yes, but as her husband’s mistress, you’re a tough sell.”

Claudia had no reply, though that didn’t mean she liked it.

“Second, there’s this power structure between you. She is your boss, and it’s never a good idea to become close with your boss, or for a boss to get friendly with an employee.”

“You know all about that, huh?”

Sammy ignored her and instead went on, “It’s a lot, and the risk-benefit ratio isn’t worth it. Even if you could be the best of friends, there’s not merely a gigantic ravine between you, but the next hill is also steep as fuck. Why would either of you risk it?”

Why indeed? Claudia sighed.

Sammy had a point, even if she hated it. It was a pity they hadn’t met under different circumstances. She truly would have loved to get to know Elizabeth. Now, she would have to try her hardest to fulfill Elizabeth’s request of being strictly professional. It would be hard, but she’d have to do it. It was the least Claudia owed her.

~ ~ ~

Claudia worked late on Thursday, feeling like she had to prove herself to Elizabeth, not just that she could be professional, but that the confusion and turmoil they’d gone through were worth it because Claudia would remain an asset to Helping Hands.

When she left her office, she noticed a stream of light pouring out from under Elizabeth’s office door. She halted, resisting the temptation to go and check on her. Likely not what an employee would do, not to mention professionalism and all communication needed to be about work. Those had been Elizabeth’s words, and Claudia needed to adhere to them. So, she went home.

Friday, she encountered an issue with work, and when she asked Tilda for advice, she sent her to Elizabeth. Claudia first hesitated, but since this was about work, she thought it should be fine. Besides, Tilda had said so, and Claudia figured it was a smart move to trust her judgment.

She knocked on Elizabeth’s door close to four in the afternoon, pushing it open at the low “Come in.”

Claudia halted after a few steps inside. “Hey. I have a question. I already asked Tilda, and she said I should seek you out, so… here I am.” She tried not to fidget.

“Of course.” Elizabeth finished typing, raised her head, and pointed at the chair in front of her desk.

Claudia sat down. “So, one of our patrons has an ex-boyfriend who has been harassing her. They also have a little boy together—he’s three years old, and her income isn’t enough to take care of them. The ex had been paying child support, but he’s become volatile recently. He’s been leaving her threatening voice messages, and when she went to the police, they told her they can’t do anything as long as it’s just talk.”

“We do have a legal representation service for such cases. She wouldn’t have to pay for her own lawyer. We could file a restraining order and move her into one of our housing units. But you know all that, so what’s really the problem?” Elizabeth asked.

Claudia looked down, reluctant to voice her fears. “I’m scared of what he’ll do next. So often, these cases escalate at this point. Women are in the greatest danger when they decide to leave, and she’s done that, but he… He’s been following her. Showing up at her work. He says nothing, lingers around and later curses her out on the phone.”

Elizabeth sighed. “He’s already escalating, especially if he started to stalk her. Since the law doesn’t intervene until something happens, we must take action. You need to file a restraining order immediately, and she must inform her family and friends of the situation sothey won’t share her whereabouts. Then she will have to relocate.”

“What about her work? And this isn’t even the biggest problem. He found out she’s gone to the police and is threatening to kill himself if she doesn’t stop ruining his life.”

Elizabeth groaned. “I’m assuming she doesn’t want to file the restraining order anymore.”

“Exactly. I don’t know how to handle it. How much are we allowed to do? Should I send her to a counselor? She said she’s made up her mind, though. While she refuses to go back to him, she also doesn’t want to pursue further legal action.”

“I see.”

“So, what are our options such a situation?” Claudia looked expectantly at Elizabeth.

“We can’t force her hand, but making her an appointment with a counseling partner seems like a sensible idea. You could also talk to her some more if you wish. Sometimes, talking to a friendly face can help.”

Claudia nodded, swallowing the question of “You think I have a friendly face?”

“Keep me updated. This is a hard one, and while it seems like we know what she should do, our options are limited.”

“Yeah. It’s difficult. I wish I could do more.”

“That’s understandable, but you’re doing all you can.”

“All right. Thank you.” Claudia rose. “I’ll leave you to it.”

Elizabeth nodded, turning back to her computer screen, once more dismissing Claudia without a word.

Later, Claudia had gone to the café across the street from the office to buy a pastry and a coffee—she was feeling snackish, and while this wasn’t a substitute for dinner, after working three more hours on her cases, she needed a break. She supposed she could have headed home, too, but she wanted to tie up a few more loose ends before the weekend.

Since she’d seen the light on in Elizabeth’s office on her way out, she purchased her a cup of coffee on a whim. Claudia didn’t think this was infringing on any boundaries. She was merely being considerate.

Once she returned to their floor, Elizabeth stepped out of her office.

Claudia strode toward her and offered her the cup.

“What’s that?” Elizabeth asked.

“Coffee, cream, no sugar. I was heading out for a snack, and I saw your light on.” She shrugged. “I thought you might need some fuel too if you’re also ‘burning the midnight oil.’”

“Seven-thirty is hardly midnight.”

“Yes, but it’s two and a half hours after the end of the workday.”

Elizabeth canted her head. “And yet you’re still working.”

“I just want to close something out. Less to do on Monday, so I can leave early.” She once more held out the cup for Elizabeth to take.

“I thought we didn’t do coffee.”

“We don’t do coffee meetings in your office. Or sit down in a café. This is…a drive-by coffee. In a pinch. Completely professional.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes. Consider it penance if you wish.”

“I don’t. But thank you.” She finally accepted the cup, nodded and walked away.

Claudia’s gaze followed Elizabeth’s retreating figure, then the woman stopped and turned.

“Don’t work too late. It’s a bad habit.”

“I won’t. Good night.” She suppressed waving at Elizabeth and instead also pivoted and headed for her office.

She was ridiculous.

stuck in a never-ending loop

While Elizabeth had followed Kat’s advice before, it turned out to be more challenging than expected. Perhaps because Claudia seemed to struggle with the concept of ‘professionalism,’ much like Elizabeth had feared.

Not that Claudia was unprofessional at work—her attitude remained exemplary. Again, it wasn’t easy to win Tilda’s approval.

However, from the moment Claudia had given her that ‘drive-by’ coffee (prepared exactly how she liked it), there’d been other acts of…kindness and consideration that, in Elizabeth’s mind, wouldn’t fit into a ‘strictly business kind of professionalism.’ Although perhaps that had merely been her experience, and there were other ways of accomplishing this.

In her second week back, Claudia had left a salad she’d bought at the café across the street on Elizabeth’s PA’s desk before texting her that she had a delivery. When Elizabeth discovered the salad, Claudia had already left, and so she could only send her a quick ‘Thank you’ message via text. She almost added that it hadn’t been necessary, and while true, it would also have been disingenuous since Elizabeth had been starving and almost inhaled the salad before returning to work.

Elizabeth had also been pleased to see Claudia finding a solution for a patron who was dealing with a stalking ex-boyfriend. She couldn’t say she was particularly surprised that the woman had faltered in the face of the whirlwind called Claudia Khoury, who convinced her to file a restraining order and even relocate with her son.

Given their challenging history, Elizabeth should be immune to Claudia’s charm. She’d refrained from bringing it up with Kat because first, she didn’t know how to even explain what she felt, and second…she worried about looking stupid.

Besides, Elizabeth had never failed at staying professional, keeping her distance, or even freezing someone out if warranted. Perhaps it all came down to the almost crestfallen expression that had washed over Claudia’s face when Elizabeth had dismissed her after re-hiring.

Two days after the salad incident, Elizabeth was once more working late. She hadn’t realized the passing of time, typing away on her computer, answering emails and commenting on proposals. She did, however, notice the flickering of the fluorescent lights and her eyes watering. She took her glasses off and wiped her eyes. With a sigh, she glanced at her couch. I’ll probably fall asleep as soon as I lie down.

Shaking her head, Elizabeth shut down her computer and rose, stretching before heading outside.

The building stood in silence aside from the low hum of the air-conditioning. She exited her office, and after a few steps, she noticed the light creeping out from under Claudia’s office door. Elizabeth frowned. Did Claudia’s habit of ‘burning the midnight oil’ arouse from fear she’d lose her job without working hard? She straightened, vowing to rectify that. She currently stayed long because she hated coming home to an empty house (Raji would take offense at such a description), but Elizabeth didn’t expect her employees to work overtime, most definitely not regularly.

Her knuckles paled as she gripped her purse strap and strode through the dimly lit hallway out of the building. Once outside, her gaze fell upon the café where Claudia had purchased the salad the other day. Elizabeth halted and worried her lower lip. Her bones felt like lead, and while she ordinarily loved cooking, that hadn’t been the case in a while—preparing a single dish left a bitter taste on her tongue.

With a sigh, she crossed the street and entered the establishment, a waft of freshly brewed coffee and cinnamon greeting her as she set to peruse their selections.

“May I help you?” The woman behind the counter tittered, in a voice so cheery and animated Elizabeth’s head snapped up, taking in her bright eyes and rosy cheeks. Should people be this alert this late in the middle of the week? Perhaps she’d just started her shift.

“Excuse me?”

“Oh, I didn’t mean to startle you. Just offering my help as you seemed a bit lost there.”

Lost. Huh. She needed to work on her expression if strangers could read her. Elizabeth canted her head. “What do you recommend?”

“The salads are all popular. I personally love the Cobb salad, but we also have desserts if you’re here for a little sweet.” She smiled. “Aren’t you the lady who leads the charity across the street?”

“Yes, I am.”

“We get a lot of your employees here. They seem so happy all the time. There’s this one tall, young woman. She’s always super nice.” The woman—Elizabeth looked at her name tag—Lucy, said.

“I’m happy to hear my employees are so courteous.” She put on a well-practiced smile.

“She didn’t come for a while, but when I asked her if she was sick, she just flushed and looked away. But since then, she’s been back to her usual self.”

“Good, good.” Elizabeth wondered what Lucy would tell other customers about her visit tonight. “I think I’ll have the pasta salad.”

“Of course. Good choice.” Lucy opened the display to get the salad. “Anything else?”

Her gaze drifted to the dessert shelf, landing on the same tartlet she’d seen Claudia with. Exasperated for even noticing, Elizabeth pointed to add the pastry—who knew why. She grimaced.

“Oh, yes, that’s quite popular, too.” Lucy laughed. “Don’t tell me you’re watching your weight?”

“Excuse me?”

“Your face. It seemed to pain you to add a dessert. No sugar is as bad for you as too much of it.”

Elizabeth blinked rapidly, fumbling with her wallet. “Is that so?”

“Sure is.” Lucy rang up her items and handed them to Elizabeth, who paid, longing to leave this establishment and Lucy’s ever watchful eye.

“Have a good night, ma’am. Come back and see us!”

“Thanks. You, too.” Elizabeth rushed out, the sound of her heels clacking along the stone floor ringing in her ears. She headed for her car before pivoting with a glare at the tartlet, as if the innocuous construct of flour, eggs, butter, and cherries was at fault for Elizabeth acting out of character. She strode toward their office, and much like Claudia had done the previous week, she placed the pastry on her PA’s desk. She wiped her trembling hands against her pants leg. What am I even doing? This is foolish. “It’s a thank you, nothing more,” she mumbled to herself and once again headed for the exit.

She strode with quick steps over the parking lot to her car and dropped in her seat, closing her eyes for a moment before shooting Claudia a text.

You have a delivery. Check Pia’s table.

On her way home, she forced herself to focus on her audiobook, but her mind wandered, and by the time she pulled into her driveway, she knew she’d have to listen to tonight’s section over again. With a sigh, she turned off her car.

By the time she sat down to eat, her phone beeped, and she groaned when she read Claudia’s reply, a selection of emojis: one with heart-eyes, one who had its eyes closed and licked its lips, and a set of folded hands. She’d read somewhere this symbol referenced a high five, but she assumed Claudia meant is as a ‘Thank you.’

Before she could overthink, she sent Claudia a quick, You’re welcome.

Raji strolled up to her and meowed pitifully, jumping onto the seat next to her.

“My poor baby.” Elizabeth stroked his head. She’d been neglecting him with being gone all day. But these walls still haunted her, especially their bedroom. Her bedroom—much like it had been before Tom had moved in. Still, Elizabeth currently sought refuge in one of her guest rooms while she waited to get over the suffocating feeling befalling her when she entered the main bedroom.

After finishing her meal, Elizabeth completed a calming yoga routine and slipped under her covers. Sleep proved elusive as her thoughts returned to Claudia and their recent conversations. She found herself recalling Claudia’s warm gaze, her deep brown eyes that, depending on the lighting almost seemed black, and so often shone with sincerity. Elizabeth wondered when she’d last been around someone so genuine, and a part of her felt drawn to this earnest quality, yet it seemed like a terrible idea. She supposed she had the tendency to assume that someone’s outward persona never represented their genuine personality.

Perhaps this notion had grown out of having to persuade people of wealth and influence to join or help her charity in. She always played a role at work—so did everyone else she’d interacted with in that regard. These few moments with Claudia so far had been different, and Elizabeth found herself confounded by them, and by how much they remained in her head.

Elizabeth huffed, shifting position and pummeling her pillow, yet her thoughts refused to settle. Perhaps she felt drawn to Claudia because she could relate to Elizabeth in a way no one else could. Their interactions, despite everything, had an unexpected ease, one she’d almost had to force herself to shut down.

There was even a small part of Elizabeth that wanted them to continue and see where this would go. Naturally, she needed to stay away from this shape of insanity. Yet in her head, she could indulge as no one would ever be the wiser, even if it stole hours of sleep.

Elizabeth could charm anyone, but she was rarely ever charmed herself, yet Claudia had charmed her with her easy-going, straightforward, and open demeanor, with the lack of affectation and the seeming purity of her motives. She seemed to want nothing from Elizabeth except her job, and Elizabeth supposed that might be what lured her toward Claudia more than anything else.

Her thoughts drifted to Tom, further fueling her insomnia. No matter how often he called, she didn’t want to talk to him. She’d silently turned around and walked away when he’d showed up at work, and even his two handwritten letters, begging her to reconsider the divorce, had fallen on deaf ears.

It didn’t matter that he loved her and wanted to be with her as he’d also wanted (and had taken) the freedom to carry on an affair on the side. His love meant nothing, at least nothing relating to a shared future.

~ ~ ~

On the weekend, Elizabeth moved through the house like a storm, determined to reclaim her space. She pulled open closet doors, dragging out boxes of things she hadn’t touched in years. With each item, she weighed its significance. The throw pillow with the garish pattern Tom had insisted on—a reluctant gift from his mother—landed in the discard pile with a satisfying thump. She grabbed a stack of cookbooks Tom had bought, filled with elaborate gourmet recipes he never had the patience to try. The kind of cooking requiring hours of preparation and obscure ingredients she rarely found in their local store. She flipped through one briefly, feeling a twinge of annoyance at the memory of his grandiose plans. Those had been his dream, not hers. Into the discard box they went.

The more she threw out, the lighter she felt. This was her home, not theirs.

Her energy surged as she worked her way through the living room, tossing old knickknacks into a box destined for donation. It felt good to let go of these remnants of their shared life, pieces she had kept around out of habit rather than affection. But then, as she reached the hallway closet, her hand brushed against a worn leather photo album tucked away in the corner. Her heart skipped a beat.

She hesitated, fingers lingering on the edge of the cover. It was one of their early vacations. She remembered the carefree days they had spent, the easy laughter. Against her better judgment, she pulled it out, flipping it open. The images hit her like a wave. There they were, smiling, holding hands on the beach, their eyes full of dreams they thought would last forever.

Her heart ached, and she sank onto the floor, the album resting heavily in her lap. The weight of their life together settled over her, and all the determination she had felt moments ago seeped away. Her chest filled with longing—not so much for Tom, but for what they’d shared. A tiny part of her warred with the temptation to meet with a counselor and see if they could salvage their relationship. She worried she was giving up too quickly—could there be some type of compromise? Thankfully, reason rose out of the shadows as she envisioned such a future.

Weekly sessions with ‘homework’ assignments to rebuild trust, lists of grievances to address, promises to do better, to listen more, to be more present. They would sit together at home and try to continue their routines, while every time she looked at him, she’d think about what he had done and wonder whether he would do it again if given the opportunity.

With every solo trip for work or with friends, every meeting with friends or colleagues, every phone call and text message, she would grow worried or suspicious. She might, even picture what kind of woman he’d go for next. Elizabeth had no desire to sleep with Tom again, and that wouldn’t improve the odds of him remaining faithful. And to hell with those—including her mother—who would deem it ‘human nature’ for a man to seek sex elsewhere if his wife wasn’t in the mood.

None of these meanderings painted a future she wanted any part of. She didn’t want to be suspicious of her partner. She didn’t want to doubt him or question his words. Most of all, she didn’t want to do these ‘trust rebuilding exercises.’ A relationship without trust was moot. She refused to do this work and still fail.

Naturally, since her mind insisted on torturing her tonight, her thoughts once more returned to Claudia. She wished she could separate the association as it was doing Claudia an injustice since Tom had betrayed them both. It seemed to get a bit easier with time, so she hoped she’d get there eventually.

For a moment, Elizabeth felt almost grateful that Claudia had sought her out and told her about Tom. Yet that feeling also clashed with a petulant resentment borne of an aspect she didn’t particularly like as it craved ignorance—that she’d never found out about Tom cheating on her. Change could be challenging.

Perhaps she wished Tom hadn’t cheated, but this option had never been on the table. She supposed people could decide to put up with a lie, but to be involved unwittingly and unknowingly seemed harrowing—she shuddered envisioning such a life. Her dissonant and conflicting feelings led to a sense of emotional whiplash. It would be easier to work through all of this if she could settle on one thing alone.

meeting in the middle

On Friday evening, Claudia returned to her parents. Teta had asked her to come by since she’d made her favorite dessert—no doubt figuring given her granddaughter’s sweet tooth, it would be the perfect plan to ensure she gained some weight. While Claudia would return on Sunday for lunch, there was no way she’d resist an opportunity to eat meghli, a special treat usually reserved for celebrations.

“Thank you so much, teta.” Claudia exclaimed between shoveling another spoonful of rice pudding into her mouth.

Salma smiled.

“I’ve talked some more with Johnny’s wife.” Mona joined them at the table.

“And?” Salma asked.

Mona shrugged. “She seems nice enough, but Jane’s worries aren’t unfounded.” She sighed. “I must confess, I’d wished Johnny and Claudia would find their way together one day. They’d have made such a lovely couple.”

Claudia coughed, almost choking on her food. “I’m not interested in Johnny.”

“God forbid, habibte.” Salma swiped at non-existent dust on the table. “He’s a married man and the last thing you want is to get entangled in such a situation.”

Claudia’s cheeks heated and she ducked her head, taking another bite of meghli. As if she’d ever done that intentionally. What would they say if they knew?

“Well, there are plenty of other fish in the sea, or so they say.” Mona looked at Claudia. “But you have to go looking.”

“Mom, I’m not interested in dating right now.”

Her mother’s lips thinned. “I’m not getting any younger. I’d love to have grandchildren before I’m too old to enjoy them.”

Claudia said nothing; there was nothing to add. Such comments weren’t new, and there was no way to reply without sounding rude. So, she focused on eating, her shoulders relaxing once her grandmother involved her mother in a discussion about the yard and the discovery of poison ivy behind the fence near the parsley plants.

Meanwhile, Claudia’s mind drifted back to Elizabeth. She had refrained from telling Sammy about their recent incognito run-ins. Claudia had enjoyed their brief interactions, and she feared Sammy, well-intentioned, would once more rain on her parade. Leaving food or bringing coffee was not unprofessional. Well, to be fair, Claudia had left more things for Elizabeth than vice versa (though the cherry tartlet had hit the spot), but again, penance. It had nothing to do with Claudia finding Elizabeth intriguing and wishing they could just… She didn’t even know. So, she ignored such thoughts.

This week had overall seemed busier, or better, much more tiring. She’d tried to get more sleep, figuring her exhaustion stemmed from not getting enough hours most nights, but even now, after sleeping for almost eight hours, she felt drained.

Claudia didn’t understand why she was so tired. If she were still working at Little Feet, she’d assume she might be coming down with something, given kids’ tendency to moonlight as petri dishes for everything gross and infectious. Yet, no one at work had been sick.

Yesterday, she’d received a phone call from her mother who’d complained about teta, naturally stuff that also drove Claudia to distraction when dealing with her mother. She hoped if she ever had children, she’d avoid moments where she realized she’d turned into her mother. Of course, if they weren’t so close, that wouldn’t be an issue, and Claudia couldn’t imagine not having such a great relationship with her family, no matter how many maddening moments arose.

After finishing stuffing her face and thankfully avoiding more questions or suggestions about her dating life—she didn’t even want to think about dating for a long while—she left the house to return home.

Before she could enter her car, a familiar voice called her name.

“Claudia! Hello.”

She turned and saw Jane Grant cross the street.

“I haven’t seen you in a while,” Jane said.

“Oh, hi. How are you?”

“Good, good. Just out running an errand. How have you been?”

“Same old,” Claudia said.

“Good. Tell your mom I’ve finished a new batch of my quince jelly, and she can pick it up any time.”

Claudia smiled. “Will do.”

“Take care of yourself.” Jane patted Claudia’s arm.

“You, too.” Claudia watched Jane head back to her home. She sighed.

Her mother had told Claudia about Jane’s upcoming surgery, though she didn’t know any additional details. Some information didn’t lend itself to gossip, and her mother wouldn’t share more than the basics.

In some ways, Jane reminded Claudia of her own mother (in a less high-strung way), but she supposed it also hailed back to basically growing up in her house. Jane’s husband, Lars, had passed away from a heart attack two years ago, and Claudia wondered if Jane would get remarried. She was only fifty-six, but for some people, life seemed over once you hit fifty.

Would Elizabeth be like that? She was a decade younger, and she didn’t appear to be the type to stay alone. Elizabeth seemed much more dynamic, full of energy, really. Claudia wondered how she was doing and if Tom would keep trying to change her mind. She shouldn’t still be stuck on this, especially since it wasn’t her concern, but she couldn’t help it, and her heart sank at the thought of them reuniting.

She didn’t like the idea of Elizabeth taking him back. Just from their few interactions and all she’d learned of Elizabeth, Claudia felt she deserved better. And how could you trust a person again after they betrayed you? Wouldn’t you always wait for the next treachery? Just sitting there, biding your time. Claudia would hate for Elizabeth to live such a life. But again, she reminded herself that it wasn’t up to her.

If only her mind would listen and act accordingly.

~ ~ ~

On Monday, she once more spied the light on late in Elizabeth’s office. Against her better judgment, she knocked on the door.

“Hi,” she greeted Elizabeth, who gazed at her with an almost resigned smile.

“Is it time for another drive-by coffee?”

“Or a salad?” Claudia stuffed her hands into her pants pockets. “I was just heading out to see what they have. I’m feeling peckish and wondered if you want something, too.”

Elizabeth held her gaze. “The salad was acceptable.”

Claudia stifled a snort. High praise indeed. “Enough to eat it again?”

“I suppose.”

“Any beverage wishes?”

“No. I’m good. Thank you.”

Claudia nodded. “I’ll be right back.”

When she returned fifteen minutes later with a bag full of food and a berry lemonade for herself, she knocked with her elbow and pushed the door open. Good thing she hadn’t fully closed it before.

“You seem more than peckish,” sounded Elizabeth’s greeting.

“I was tempted and as it turns out, I couldn’t resist. They had too many choices, so I got a grilled cheese sandwich, an egg salad, and a chocolate chip muffin.” Claudia frowned. “I should have gotten the PB&J sandwich instead.”

“Peanut butter and jelly with an egg salad?” Elizabeth grimaced.

“Don’t knock it till you try it.”

“Oh, I’ll knock it.”

Claudia chuckled. “Here’s your Cobb salad.” She lifted the container out of the bag and brought it to Elizabeth, along with the utensils. “Enjoy.” She turned and grabbed her bag, ready to return to her office.

“You might as well stay here and eat.” Elizabeth’s suggestion sounded bored, like an impulse for which the resulting answer would be of no consequence.

When Claudia shifted and caught Elizabeth’s gaze, though, she noted a fissure of nerves, belying her guarded expression.

Elizabeth rolled her fountain pen between her fingers, glancing away quickly.

“Are you sure this isn’t breaking any professional boundaries?” Claudia asked.

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes. “It’s not like you’ve been keen on observing them in the first place.”

Claudia ducked her head. She had a point. “I told you, consider it a form of—”

“Penance, yes. And I told you I don’t want that.”

“You don’t want me to do that or to direct it at you?”

Elizabeth flipped open the lid of her salad and tore into the dressing pouch. “Are you going to stay or return to your office?”

“I’m staying.” Claudia brought her bag and drink to the coffee table and sat on the couch.

“Don’t stain my couch,” Elizabeth said. “I just had it dry-cleaned.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Claudia bit into her sandwich.

When they were done eating, Claudia rose and put the trash away, shuffling on her feet, torn between saying something—anything—and just heading back to her office to finish up and go home. She was tired enough for the latter, but—

“Out with it,” Elizabeth said. “If you think any harder, steam will leak out of your ears and set off the fire alarm. The resulting mess would give Tilda a headache.”

“We wouldn’t want that.” Claudia prevented herself from rocking back and forth on her heels.

“So?”

She held Elizabeth’s gaze, straightening. “Could we keep doing this?”

“Eating? I fear that’s a requirement if we wish to continue living.”

Claudia smiled. “No, and… Look, if that’s your way of preventing me from saying more, that’s fine. I can just leave, and—”

“Continue.”

“I know you said we should try to be professional, and—”

“I don’t recall saying ‘try,’ however, you’ve clearly understood the directive as a suggestion you failed at.”

Claudia pouted. “I thought you asked me to talk?”

“Go ahead.”

Claudia couldn’t tell if Elizabeth was suppressing a smile or a grimace. She’d go with the former. “I don’t want to talk about the past anymore, about the…issue of contention between us.”

Elizabeth raised one eyebrow but refrained from interrupting Claudia again.

“That said, I find it unfair that an incident neither of us instigated should doom our chances to get to know each other.”

“It’s a pretty big incident to overcome.”

“Yes, but perhaps that’s the case because we’re stuck in the past.”

Elizabeth tilted her head. “And how do you propose to solve that?”

“I get that interacting only for work and keeping everything else shoved and locked into neat little packages is supposed to…destroy the association of what happened. I’m sure it’s harder on you, especially, since this has cost you a lot more.”

Elizabeth’s gaze turned flinty.

“But remember when we first chatted via text, before we recognized who the other was, and our little coffee meeting here? I had fun. I… I think I like you.”

“I’m still your boss.”

“And you can’t be friendly with an employee?”

“It has never happened.”

“What about Tilda?” Claudia asked.

Elizabeth only stared at her.

“Right. OK, but… I just don’t see why we can’t figure out if we could be…friendly. You seemed to enjoy our interactions, too.”

“So, how would that work?”

Claudia shrugged. “We’d get to know each other, form a new association. A new connection. Wouldn’t that be more effective than what we’ve been trying? Because let me tell you, I still want to get to know you.”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened.

an unnerving realization

Elizabeth didn’t know what to say. Claudia unnerved her, and not just for the obvious reasons. She never hated her, and any resentment she might have felt had already drained away. She should be thankful, as any other reality would make their work situation untenable.

In the end, Tom had lied to them both, and Claudia had reached out to her once she’d found out he was married. That had to count for something.

And now this.

She wanted to get to know Elizabeth.

The word ‘why’ immediately jumped to the tip of her tongue, and she once more wondered what was in it for Claudia. Yet, when she looked at her guileless, open face, she knew it was just that— a sincere interest in getting to know Elizabeth.

She supposed it had to be hard for Claudia to integrate their new reality, too—knowing she’d been involved in her boss’s marriage falling apart. Could Elizabeth do this? Now she wondered if Claudia’s eyes always shone so softly, or if they had always seemed so warm.

“How would we go about this? Remember, I’m your boss.”

“We’re here now, right? We shared a meal. In fact, we’ve been sharing meals, or treats, even if we didn’t eat together before. How about we make it a regular event?”

“Meeting after work and eating in my office?”

“Why not?”

“Do you have nothing better to do?” Surely Claudia didn’t wish to spend her free time stuck in the office with Elizabeth.

“Not really. I mean, I’m not suggesting we spend hours here, or do this every day. Maybe when we’re both working late, anyway.”

“So we can be in the office even longer?” Elizabeth threw Claudia an incredulous stare.

“On those days, our evenings are shot anyway, right?”

“I suppose that’s one way of looking at it.”

“We could order food. According to my grandma, I’m thin enough as it is, and I don’t need to lose any more weight. I don’t even want to contemplate what she’d have to say to snacks or sandwiches for dinner.”

“She has a point.”

Claudia groaned. “Not you, too!”

“Look at it this way—right now, you’ll still get away with eating a lot while remaining relatively sedentary and not putting on a lot of weight, if any. Wait until you’re my age. You’ll start absorbing calories by looking at food.”

Claudia laughed, and in that moment, Elizabeth almost smiled. Perhaps spending more time with Claudia, whose sunny disposition seemed to light up any room, would do her some good. After all, she had enough time now.

“So, are we on?”

“You really want to sit here with me after long workdays and eat takeout food?”

“Yes.”

“All right.”

Heaven help her. What was she doing?

~ ~ ~

The next morning, Tilda strolled into her office and seemed…smug. “It turned out to be such a fortunate circumstance that I forgot to send those documents to HR.”

Elizabeth hummed.

“Claudia has been quite efficient at her job.”

“She’s all right.” Elizabeth continued her work, unsure if she wanted to hear Tilda’s point.

“You don’t often change your mind about something,” Tilda said.

Elizabeth stopped working and glanced at Tilda. The statement rankled, reminding her too much of her mother. “I’m not unwilling to change.”

Tilda laughed. “Goodness, no. Let’s put it this way: you’re rarely wrong in your assessments at work.”

Elizabeth shifted in her seat. She supposed that correction was acceptable.

“I’m still surprised you’d let her go, but at least you came to your senses and rectified that error. She’s a breath of fresh air in the office, especially after Martin.” Tilda pursed her lips.

Tilda and Martin hadn’t gotten along, and that was putting it mildly. Elizabeth could never figure out what had happened between them, and neither had ever outright complained about the other, so she had assumed it had been a random disconnect.

“Well, Claudia shapes up nicely.” Elizabeth tried to remain neutral. Had Tilda noticed anything she’d missed? She couldn’t know about their recent agreement, and it didn’t concern her, anyway.

“Yes, she does. You’ve been much more…present these days.”

Elizabeth frowned. “I hadn’t realized you found my work lacking.”

“That’s not at all what I said. Are you all right?”

“Yes, of course.”

Tilda nodded, dropping her line of inquiry. “I know things are currently not easy for you.”

Elizabeth’s hand fell into her lap as she balled her fingers into a fist.

“I just wanted to say I’m here to help, if you need it, and I’m glad you rehired Claudia. I have a good feeling about her.”

“Thank you,” Elizabeth pressed out, still at a loss over the entire conversation.

“Of course. Well, I’ll return to my office. The work won’t finish itself.” She rose and, without another word, left Elizabeth’s office.

She stared after Tilda for a while, trying to understand what had happened. They didn’t talk about their personal lives like this. And why was she so taken by Claudia? Not that Elizabeth could fault her, but still…

The rest of the week went by in a blur. She had to deal with communications from lawyers, sent by Tom who’d apparently given up hopes Elizabeth would reunite and now argued their prenup was unenforceable because Elizabeth had tricked him into signing it. She choked on her water when she read that. She expected little from Tom, but this was a new low.

She got in touch with her lawyers and instructed them to handle this because if she became too involved, she’d book a permanent stay in migraine land, and consequently, might be liable to commit murder.

Things at Helping Hands ran smoothly, for the most part. She didn’t see much more of Claudia, who headed home early every day for the rest of the week. At first, Elizabeth thought she’d changed her mind about ‘transforming their association’—she still rolled her eyes—but Elizabeth noticed the tired smiles and rings under Claudia’s eyes when she passed her in the hallway, still offering that same, goofy wave.

Elizabeth shouldn’t find her this endearing.

She tried (in vain) to keep the veneer of professionalism between them, despite Claudia’s thoughtful efforts to topple the barrier. In fact, Elizabeth wasn’t sure Claudia even realized what she was doing, as in: she knew this wasn’t a calculated plan to go against Elizabeth’s directions from when she’d re-hired her. In the young woman’s mind, she likely thought she was following the request to the letter.

Claudia’s eyes held such a hopeful glint whenever they talked that Elizabeth didn’t have the heart to disappoint her—another thing she didn’t want to examine further, choosing instead to blame it on Claudia’s puppy-dog eyes.

Her weekend started pleasantly. She spent time with Raji, had a phone call with Kat in which her friend told her all about the newest blow-up on set, exercised by going for a run—she hated running but felt she should do it more often—and ordered take-out. She intended to finish a few contracts with new sponsors the next day and went to bed after indulging in a glass of red wine.

Sunday morning, Elizabeth startled awake at five in the morning and rushed to the bathroom to throw up. Her head had decided to host a party for a group of revved-up sledgehammers bent on tearing down an entire skyscraper. Sweat poured down her back while her face and hands grew clammy, too.

She hated migraines. Whenever she’d suffered one with Tom at home, he’d leave her be, darken the rooms, and avoid making any noise. When Elizabeth schlepped herself back to the bed, out of breath, soaked in sweat—a trembling mass of misery—she realized he’d never offered any comfort. He had just stayed out of her way and done nothing to aggravate her situation, but as she lay there now, she realized nothing was different with him gone. Dark, silent, and alone.

She’d once told him she couldn’t interact when she had a migraine—even her own voice grated—and she’d asked for silence. But that didn’t mean she wouldn’t have appreciated his still company beside her. She wouldn’t have expected him to stay for hours upon hours, but he’d never showed up at all, and Elizabeth had just accepted this because it had to have been what he’d wanted, or he’d have behaved differently.

Raji jumped on the bed, but instead of cuddling against her like he usually did, he curled up at the foot end and gazed at Elizabeth intently.

She smiled weakly. Elizabeth supposed she wasn’t all alone after all.

mounting bridges

In the end, Claudia caved, unable to stop herself from calling Sammy and telling her about the new development with Elizabeth.

“You sound so excited about the prospect of getting to know her,” Sammy said.

“I am. I told you I liked her from the start.”

“You mean the bit of texting where she didn’t know it was you.”

“What’s wrong with me?”

“Don’t look at me like that. There’s obviously nothing wrong with you.”

Somewhat placated, Claudia grumbled, “Good. Is this all still because she’s my—”

“Boss. Yes.”

“I’m quite aware, but so far, we seem to be getting along.”

Sammy sighed, her gaze finding the ceiling. “You can’t be friends with your boss.”

Claudia held back a laugh upon seeing Sammy’s serious, pained expression. “Could your…attitude be a case of projection? Do you maybe have issues with another bill dying in committee or being vetoed?”

“Don’t get me started. I’m still pissed she did that with the last bill we worked so hard on. But no, that’s not the point.”

Claudia rolled her eyes. “It’s entirely your own fault. You went into politics in the state where your old mentor runs the show. In the end, what does it have to do with me getting to know Elizabeth?”

“Miriam isn’t my mentor now, is she? But she’s my boss, in a way.”

“Again, whose fault is that? You aren’t innocent in your relationship falling apart.”

Sammy’s eyes widened. “Wow, whose side are you on?”

“Yours, Sammy. Always and forever. You know that, but it’s the truth.”

“Same. I’m only looking out for you.”

“I still don’t see the connection. Despite everything, Elizabeth and I don’t have your fraught history.”

“I’d say yours is complicated enough. Either way, it’s always a terrible idea to become too close to your boss. The power imbalance doesn’t go away because you’re friends. It was easier when you guys just tried to be professional.”

“I’m not… It’s coffee and takeout.”

“That’s how it starts. You already sound smitten.”

Claudia flushed. “I’m not smitten! That I like her doesn’t mean more than that.”

“Right now, sure. But what about down the road if you keep hanging out and get to know her? You already think she’s hot.”

Claudia frowned. “When did I say that?”

“I know you, and I’m fluent in ‘Claudia’s signs of infatuation.’”

She narrowed her eyes. “Once more, projection. Such relationships don’t have to be filled with sexual tension.”

“What did I ever say to—”

“Oh, please.” Claudia waved her off. “You realize you could just talk to Miriam? Call for a truce.”

Sammy scoffed. “Please. As if. She’ll eat me for breakfast at the mere suggestion.”

“That would be one way to solve your issues. I can’t believe you guys are still hung up over that little spat,” Claudia said.

“You’re not funny. It was a major conflict that changed everything. I can’t just go there and talk to her. We’re beyond that.”

“I’m hilarious, more so when I’m not tired. Besides, you’re never beyond talking.”

“Keep telling yourself that. As for the rest, if you’re right, why do wars happen?” Sammy asked.

“Well, I can’t account for whatever groups of people do, or nations, really. Worse, crazy politicians. Although is there any other kind?”

“Hey!”

Claudia grinned. “It’s sweet of you to worry about me. I appreciate it, but I’m not concerned. We’ll just create a…friendly association so Tom doesn’t weigh so heavily between us. It’ll be good.”

“Famous last words.”

Claudia frowned. “I don’t think that’s how they go.”

“Oh, whatever. You’re old enough to make your own mistakes.”

“Sammy?”

“Yes?”

“I love you, dearly, but oh my God, talk to Miriam.”

Sammy laughed, but it sounded hollow, resigned. “I sometimes wish I could have a smidgen of your optimism and hope.”

“You fake it well enough in public. Maybe try to internalize some of that.”

Sammy glared at her. “Again, you’re not funny.”

“Yes, yes.”

“Anyway. I gotta go. Talk later.”

“Will do.”

“And, Claud?”

“Hmm?’

“I love you, too.”

Claudia smiled, waved at Sammy, and hung up.

~ ~ ~

The next time Elizabeth and Claudia both worked late again happened on Friday of the following week. Claudia’d taken to checking for light or activity in Elizabeth’s office when she left late, which had only happened this Wednesday, since she’d been too tired before. Tonight, Elizabeth’s light shone, and the door stood open. Drawing closer, Claudia saw Elizabeth sitting at her desk, typing on her keyboard.

Claudia hesitated. Elizabeth still being here and actively working meant she’d interrupt her, and she’d have more work left next week. Claudia didn’t want to cause that. She worried her lower lip, contemplating her options, when Elizabeth’s voice rang out.

“Are you planning on standing there all night, or did you change your mind about our little agreement?” She never even raised her head to look at Claudia, who still stood shrouded in shadows in the hallway.

She shook her head, striding inside. “No. I was only worried about keeping you from work.”

“I should be done in five minutes. How about you check who still delivers at this time? I’m actually hungry.”

“Oh, of course.” Claudia dropped her bag on the floor next to the couch and sat down, scrolling through her phone.

Silence fell over the room, aside from the clacking of Elizabeth’s fingers flying over her keyboard.

Claudia looked up when Elizabeth stopped. “So, there’s Italian, Chinese, and Mexican. There are other options, but these are the closest.”

“Any preference?”

“Italian. I’m in the mood for pizza.”

“All right. Text me their menu.”

Claudia nodded and busied herself with sending the text. “Right. You got it.”

“Thank you.”

After placing the order, Elizabeth rose and strode toward the spaceship masquerading as a coffee machine. “Same as the first time?”

“Yes, please.”

Elizabeth set to make their coffees. “The next one will be on you to prepare.”

“OK.” While Claudia loved Elizabeth’s willingness to continue their little meetings, she didn’t like the idea of operating this gadget at all. Perhaps she could pick up two cups at the café across the street and come up with an excuse.

“I can see the terror in your eyes. Do you think you’ll need further instructions?” Elizabeth drawled.

Heat crawled up Claudia’s neck as she shook her head. That voice and subtle accent should be illegal.

“How has your week been?” Elizabeth stepped toward the couch with their two steaming mugs in her hands.

Claudia opened her mouth to reply but fell mute as she took in Elizabeth for the first time tonight. She wore a black pantsuit with a tight, pinstripe buttoned vest, a white blouse, and dark slacks. Her brown hair was once more coiffed in a tight bun, and her blue eyes had a more serious glint than the situation demanded.

“Are you all right?” Elizabeth placed the cups on the coffee table coasters.

“Uh, yes. Sorry. Got lost in my head for a second,” Claudia rushed out.

“Forgive the extra formal attire.” Elizabeth pointed to herself. “I had a meeting with a couple of important sponsors today to talk about the Christmas dinner.”

“Oh, what’s that about?”

“It’s a charity dinner with celebrities. People can purchase tickets to attend the event, where various items will be donated for a raffle that our guests can win. It’s very popular, and we’re expecting some exciting high-profile donors this year who should draw in more of those who have too much money and want to feel good by donating to the unfortunate masses while schmoozing with celebrities as their reward.”

“Do your sponsors know you talk like this?”

“Did I lie?”

Claudia held her gaze. “No, but I’m sure it’s not something they’d want to hear.”

“Well, I’m not talking to them right now.” Elizabeth raised one eyebrow.

“Fair enough.”

“I don’t look down on them. A lot of the people who invest in Helping Hands worked hard for their fortune, though obviously, some are trust-fund inheritors. Still, they’re supporting a worthy cause, and I’m not just saying this because I head the charity. So, I’m thankful for their backing.”

“I wasn’t criticizing you.”

“I didn’t take it as such, just an observation that I’m returning with one of my own.”

“Good.”

A moment later, Elizabeth’s phone rang, and their food arrived. While Elizabeth dealt with the driver, Claudia remembered Sammy’s words about the gulf separating her and Elizabeth, which seemed especially apt tonight. The power differential—their difference in age, status, and everything—stood out to her.

She wasn’t sure if her talk with Sammy had caused this or if she was just seeing things more clearly tonight. Would this doom any attempt to get to know each other?

It shouldn’t, though. One often learned more from people who were different. Claudia could only hope Elizabeth wouldn’t conclude the divide between them spanned too far to mount a bridge or that doing so wouldn’t be worth the effort.

expanding horizons

“Is this yours?” Claudia closed her pizza box, wiped her hands on a napkin, and pointed at Elizabeth’s book on the table.

“Yes.”

“May I?”

“Sure.”

Claudia picked up the novel. “Bury your Dead. Hmm, I suppose that’s generally good advice.” She flipped it and read the back. “Number six. How many are there in the series?”

“Sixteen or seventeen, I believe,” Elizabeth said.

“Wow. That’s a lot. I often get too intimidated to even pick up the first one if there are more than four or five volumes.”

“Understandable, but to me there’s nothing like finding a series you love and discovering it comprises so many parts.”

“You didn’t know going in?”

Elizabeth shook her head. “I stumbled on the first one and checked out the author afterward to see if she’d written anything else.”

“Huh. I might research my reads too much. So, do you generally read crime or mystery fiction?”

“Most of my books fall into the genre, but I’ll read anything if it sounds interesting enough. What about you?”

“I prefer true-crime stories, and I’ve read a lot of those. For fiction… I don’t know. I like fantasy.”

Elizabeth shuddered.

Claudia laughed. “What?”

“How can you like true crime? It’s horrifying!”

“It’s fascinating.”

“We’ll have to agree to disagree,” Elizabeth said.

A contemplative expression flickered across Claudia’s face as she held Elizabeth’s gaze. “What if we see how the other side lives?”

“Excuse me?”

“I’ll read the first of the series, and you watch a few episodes of See No Evil—my favorite true-crime show.”

“Why would we do that?” This woman must have lost her mind.

Claudia shrugged. “Why not? Consider it an extension of your horizons.”

Elizabeth raised her eyebrows. “And you believe they’re in need of an expansion?”

“Doesn’t everyone’s? How can it be wrong to learn more or be exposed to new and different things? The same old gets boring.”

“Indeed.”

“Are you the type of person who carries a book in their pocket wherever they go?” Claudia asked.

“Perhaps.”

“What would you do if you ended up somewhere without your book, but you’d have to wait and there’s nothing else to distract you?”

Elizabeth stirred her cup. “I still have a phone.”

“So, you’d mindlessly surf the net or get lost on social media?”

Elizabeth suppressed a small smile. “You’re mistaking me for someone of your generation, I’m afraid. Besides, there are reading apps, too.”

Claudia pouted.

Elizabeth’s gaze dropped to her lips before she straightened in her seat.

“You’re not too old for any of that.”

“No, but I’m still not in the habit of partaking in social media outside of Helping Hands, and even there I have other people in charge. Again, I’m never without something to read, even if I were to forget my book at home.”

Claudia chuckled. “Naturally. So even without your book, you still have books to read.” She frowned. “The sentence makes little sense, but you know what I mean.”

“Yes. I love physical copies of books—to hold one in my hands and leaf through the pages. Still, eBooks are convenient, and how else can you carry around thousands of books wherever you go?”

Claudia frowned. “Why would I want that?”

“Why wouldn’t you, is the better question. Reading is comforting. It offers an escape from reality and allows you to submerge yourself in an easier, better world. It’s solace.” She definitely needed that currently.

“You read as escapism?”

Elizabeth startled, holding Claudia’s curious gaze, once more surprised by how open she was. However, their conversation was steering into deep waters, and she hadn’t decided if she dared to tread there yet. “Isn’t most of life a form of escapism?”

Claudia’s eyes softened, almost like she’d noted and accepted what Elizabeth was doing. “True.”

One thing Elizabeth appreciated about Claudia was that, so far, she hadn’t seen a hint of pity in her eyes. She offered no platitudes—‘time heals all wounds’ (it didn’t), ‘he wasn’t worth it’ (what did that say about her, since she had loved and married him?), or worse, ‘there are plenty of other fish in the sea’ (because rebound was fun for everyone). No, Claudia waited and seemed to follow Elizabeth’s lead in changing the topic.

~ ~ ~

Elizabeth exited the bathroom after taking a long soak, wrapped herself in her fluffiest robe and settled on the couch with a book. She had a busy week ahead, including a meeting with new potential benefactors who might participate in the December fundraiser for Helping Hands. To her consternation, she found herself looking forward to her little downtime moments with Claudia, which seemed like an ideal distraction from the stresses of her life.

How curious.

She should tell Kat her master plan had failed— keeping Claudia at a professional distance proved futile. Lord knew she’d tried. Although, to be honest, a part of her hadn’t wanted to succeed. Claudia and her beguiling openness intrigued her.

Her phone beeped. Elizabeth unlocked her device, biting the inside of her cheek to prevent from smiling at Claudia’s message.

Hey. I hope I’m not disturbing you, but I’ve read the first 100 pages of the Inspector Gamache novel. I like it so far. Thought you might want to know. Here, she’d added a shrug emoji.

Elizabeth typed a quick reply.

I’m glad to hear that.

I really like the setting. Three Pines sounds like a lovely place to visit. Claudia’s next message read.

It does. I find these books quite comforting, even though they are murder mysteries.

Unlike true crime, right?

Correct. I doubt anyone has ever called true crime anything comforting.

Stranger things.

Elizabeth chuckled.

They ended up discussing what fictional worlds they would love to live in or at least visit. She hadn’t felt like sharing that she had started the first episode of See No Evil but struggled to continue. Elizabeth had been able to tell right away, judging by the pain in the young woman’s parents’ expressions, that it would end terribly. She had paused the episode and typed the woman’s name into a search engine, learning of her fate that way. She had sighed, glad she had stopped the show ten minutes in.

She didn’t understand the appeal of anything true crime, and she also felt it didn’t fit Claudia at all. Then again, she didn’t really know her—though that was about to change. At the thought, a long-forgotten excitement slithered through Elizabeth.

~ ~ ~

When she returned home on Tuesday, Elizabeth’s mother called, immediately pushing her mood into a downward spiral. She was too old to still be this affected by her mother. With a sigh, Elizabeth answered the call.

“Hello, Mother.”

“Hello, Lizzie.”

Elizabeth clenched her jaw. Her mother knew she hated that nickname.

“Tom called.”

Elizabeth closed her eyes.

“When were you going to tell me your marriage is over, or did you decide your own mother doesn’t need to know her only child is once more all alone?”

“I was going to tell you, but—”

“You were afraid I’d say, ‘I told you so’?”

“Of course not, Mother.”

“There’d have been no need to do so, as we knew from the start how this would play out.”

Elizabeth bit her lower lip. Was it true? Had their relationship been doomed from the beginning?

“There’s no way an older woman keeps a younger man. At least not for more than a few years.”

“Perhaps. Either way, it’s done.”

“When will you return to England?”

Elizabeth refrained from groaning. Heading back seemed less appealing now than ever before. “Next year.”

“A year covers twelve months. Can you be more specific?”

Elizabeth pinched the bridge of her nose. “Summer?”

“So long! Your father and I aren’t getting any younger.” Mary sniffed.

“I’ll see what I can do. It depends on what’s going on at work.”

Mary sighed. “How about I come visit you?”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened, and she dropped onto the couch. Please don’t. “Oh?”

“Yes. I think it’s time for another visit. I’ll check with my travel agent and send you the itinerary. You’ll pick me up at the airport.”

“Of course.” Elizabeth’s heart fled its confines, attempting to escape through her throat. Her mother’s visit was the last thing she needed.

“Good, good. Now, don’t get lost in your head, dear. You’re never going to fix what’s broken that way.”

“Nothing is broken, Mother.”

“It’s never a good idea to lie to yourself, Lizzie. Either way, I have to go. Expect an email from me within the next couple of days. Bye.”

“OK. Bye.” Elizabeth hung up.

It took all her strength not to throw her phone against the wall. She couldn’t believe she’d have to deal with her mother in her sanctuary.

Her phone beeped. Elizabeth’s first impulse was to ignore it, fearing another message from her mother, but then again… She unlocked it, and at the sight of Claudia’s name and a guess on who’d committed the murder in the Inspector Gamache novel, tears rushed to her eyes—a sob spilling from her throat.

What was she even doing, and how was she supposed to get through this?

Elizabeth took a deep breath to slow her breathing, grabbed a tissue and wiped her eyes. Her life was fine, and things were moving upward again. She’d regained her footing, and overall, her life was good. She’d been on her path to being all right again, and she refused to let her mother topple her progress. Elizabeth wouldn’t wallow in self-pity.

She opened her text thread with Claudia.

Do you really want me to tell you?

Of course not!!!

Elizabeth blinked furiously.

But why would you tell me your guess?

So you can be impressed with my deductive skills.

Elizabeth snorted.

Don’t expect me to call you Sherlock anytime soon.

So I’m wrong, huh?

What makes you say that?

Your comment…

Claudia may have left out the “Duh!” in writing, but Elizabeth still heard it.

Perhaps I’m misleading you?

Nah.

Elizabeth’s curiosity rose.

How’s that?

You’re too kind for that.

And you don’t mess with people.

Elizabeth swallowed hard as tears once more shot into her eyes.

You say this with such assurance.

Well, yeah. I’m a good judge of character.

Though Sammy always says I like everyone. But that’s not true.

Personally, Elizabeth thought Sammy was spot on. Aside from seeming way too trusting, Claudia appeared to just love people. She wondered how she’d react to meeting her mother. “Good God,” Elizabeth croaked.

Your Sammy might be on to something.

Hey! I resent that.

Elizabeth chuckled.

OK, name someone you don’t like.

Dots appeared. Paused. Once more they flickered across the screen, only to halt again.

Elizabeth chuckled.

Pol Pot

Elizabeth frowned. “What?”

You mean the former dictator of Cambodia?

Yes.

You weren’t even born when he died!

A couple of minutes ticked by.

I was four!!

Elizabeth quickly typed his name into a search engine, groaning at the results. He had died in 1998. Lord, she’d been twenty-two, just coming to the United States after her grandmother’s passing.

I’m not sure that helps your argument.

Whatever. I’m an old soul.

Elizabeth laughed.

The most surprising thing of all, their brief exchange had done more to relax the dull throbbing in her head that had started during her phone call with her mother than anything she could have thought of doing. How very peculiar.

intentional savages

At the end of another week, Claudia spent the rest of her Friday night reading before heading to the bathroom to get ready for bed. When she crawled under her covers, her phone blinked with a notification. Expecting Sammy, she grabbed the device to check, smiling when, instead of Sammy, Elizabeth’s name popped up. Her grin only grew once she opened it, and a new non-work-related message greeted her. She had enjoyed their previous interactions, but texting like this seemed special in some way she couldn’t pin down.

Maybe because it showed Elizabeth cared too.

I must confess I hate See No Evil.

That’s fair. True crime really isn’t your thing.

It’s so depressing. And scary.

Fiction is better.

But that’s not real.

Yes, that’s the point…

Claudia laughed.

I suppose. But it still makes it a bit boring.

I thought you liked the book?

I do! Claudia hurried to type.

She was about to expand further when Elizabeth’s next message appeared.

I’m sorry. We’ll have to continue this conversation another time.

I have to go.

OK, sure.

Claudia placed her phone back on the nightstand with a sigh. She hoped Elizabeth was all right, immediately chastising herself. What was there to worry about? Besides, it wasn’t her place to be concerned about Elizabeth.

~ ~ ~

Shortly after six on Monday, Claudia shut down the computer before heading for Elizabeth’s office, strolling through the open office door while knocking. “Hey.” She stuffed her hands into her pants pockets.

“Hello.” Elizabeth closed a folder and put her pen down on her desk. She rose and walked toward Claudia. “What do you want to order tonight?”

Claudia shrugged but was pleased Elizabeth continued to be up for these little meetings. Weird, she’d never looked forward to staying late at work, but here she hoped for it almost every day.

“No pizza and lava cake again?”

“Hey! That’s a classic combo.”

“To you, perhaps. People with a more…refined palate would disagree.”

Claudia pouted.

“So?”

“Why don’t you pick? I’m assuming you’re someone with sophisticated taste?”

“Naturally,” Elizabeth drawled. “I’m in the mood for Mexican.”

“Fine with me.”

They placed their order and after, Claudia dared to make coffee for the first time—the gadget thankfully neither exploded, attempted to overthrow humanity, nor sprouted wings and soared out of the window. She placed Elizabeth’s mug on the table before sitting in her usual spot on the couch.

“You owe me an explanation.” Elizabeth sipped her coffee.

Claudia straightened. “I do?” She wondered if she’d done something wrong. Everything had been going well with her patrons, and even Tilda had offered her a small smile this morning. Or maybe it had been more of a grimace. It seemed Tilda was suffering from a bout of back pain.

Elizabeth nodded, and Claudia relaxed when she noticed the mirth playing in Elizabeth’s bright eyes. “Yes, after Raji so rudely interrupted our last conversation by throwing up all over my freshly laundered clothes.”

“Oh, no.”

Elizabeth shrugged. “So, tell me, why are fictional crime stories inferior to true crime tales? Mind you, I don’t agree with the statement.”

“Of course not.” Claudia suppressed a grin. “I suppose they aren’t as enthralling as the real-life stuff. Because they’re not, well, real.”

“But isn’t it what makes the ‘real stuff,’ as you call it, so scary? To know what people have done? What they are capable of doing?”

“I suppose, if that’s your focus.”

“What is your focus?”

“I’m more interested in the psychology behind it. Why do people do what they do?”

“Because they’re insane?” Elizabeth said.

“Are they? I mean, yes, there have been killings by the clinically insane, but they’re the vast minority, and the rest’s a mixture of fear-mongering and self-placating.”

“That’s quite the statement. Care to elaborate?”

Claudia smiled. Did she ever. She loved such discussions, but sadly, most of her friends and family only groaned when she raised the topic. “All right, so it’s much more comforting to believe people who commit terrible crimes are insane because then you’re relatively safe since you assume you’ll notice them and stay away. This also means you no longer have to contemplate the cause or reasoning behind the crime. You won’t think about what we could do as a society to prevent such acts.”

“I never thought along those lines.”

“But, you know, by saying people are insane, you’re also further stigmatizing an outsider group, so there’s no pushback. There’s no lobbying arm interested in the well-treatment of the clinically insane. Even worse, many people lump all kinds of mental disorders into the mix. Mind you, those people usually aren’t the ones committing these crimes.”

“I see. What are the true causes?”

“It depends. The most interesting thing is people who do such things don’t believe they’re doing anything wrong.”

“Then why do they cover their tracks?” Elizabeth asked.

“Well, they’re aware that what they did is neither socially acceptable nor legal. They don’t hide their crimes because they’re ashamed or believe they did anything wrong, but because they know they’ll get arrested. And this means they can no longer do what they want to do. People rarely do things they consider wrong.”

“Hmm, I’m not so sure about that. People cheat, for example. And they know it’s wrong.”

Claudia exhaled roughly and ducked her head. “I’m sorry.”

“You need to stop apologizing. It’s done. Besides, it wasn’t a dig, just the first example that came to mind. I do want us to get on a different footing, and I thought we’re heading that way. Don’t you agree?”

“I do, and yes, it’s understandable this would be your first thought,” Claudia said.

“Good. So, continue.”

“With what?”

“What’s your counter argument?” Elizabeth asked.

“Oh, well, they assume they’ll get away with it, no?”

“For sure, but again, they know it’s wrong.”

“They know society and their partner think it’s wrong, but do they themselves believe it? If so, why do they do it? They seem to think they have the right to do as they wish. Most regret concerning cheating revolves around getting caught.”

“He continued for months.” Elizabeth’s face turned stony.

Claudia hated that expression. She pressed her lips into a thin line to prevent another apology from spilling forth. “Yes.”

“Do you think it would have continued? Were you serious about Tom?”

Claudia inhaled deeply. “We had fun. It was…not serious. To be honest, I thought of him more as my rebound guy. I’d come out of a nasty breakup not long before we met, and he seemed…a good choice. At least that’s how I saw it before…”

“Before you knew.”

“Yes.”

Stillness hung between them, but it was a contemplative silence, not uncomfortable or strained. Claudia still wondered if they’d ever manage to bury the topic of Tom between them.

“All right.” Elizabeth sighed. “Off to greener pastures.”

Claudia laughed. “I’m assuming that’s your request for a topic change.”

“You catch on quickly.”

“I’m smart like that.”

Elizabeth didn’t reply, but Claudia would call her expression almost fond.

“OK. Let’s see. Do you have any siblings?”

Elizabeth shook her head.

“We have that in common. Do you sometimes wish you had?”

Elizabeth hummed, her brows furrowing as if she were picturing how life with a sibling would have played out. “Yes, and no. I’d have loved a sibling, older or younger, but I wouldn’t wish my parents on anyone. Now, my nan, yes, but alas…”

Claudia frowned and on impulse, she reached out and squeezed Elizabeth’s hand. “I’m sorry. Parents can suck.” Her fingers were soft and warm.

Elizabeth chuckled. “Indeed.” She held on to Claudia, before drawing back.

“But hey, at least there’s an ocean between you.”

Elizabeth groaned. “Yes, but my mother will visit me soon, and it … Let’s say I’m expecting another migraine attack either during or after her visit.”

“Wow. That bad? I’m assuming she stays with you?”

“My house is big enough, so I can’t justify sending her to a hotel.”

“I’m not sure that would ever happen in our house—family visiting and staying at a hotel—no matter the space.”

“Yes, well, nothing to do either way.”

“Do you suffer a lot of migraines?”

“It used to be worse, but I’ve changed my approach to work and…life, I suppose, in my mid-thirties, which reduced the incidents greatly. But recent events...” She sighed. “Well, let’s say stress can make them occur more often, and that’s sadly been the case.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

Claudia smiled, relieved that Elizabeth saw it this way, that there were no more hard feelings between them. But she also knew that, in some way, the increase of stress in Elizabeth’s life also rested on her. Perhaps she could find a way to lighten her load.

Elizabeth’s phone rang. “Excuse me, I’ve got to take this.”

“Of course, go ahead.”

Elizabeth pressed answer. “Hi, Shani.”

Hearing the lilt of a melodic voice, Claudia tried to tune out the sound to offer Elizabeth as much privacy as she could.

“What time?” Elizabeth asked, tapping her fingers on her leg.

A pause.

“That should work. Thank you, Shani. I’ll see you soon. You, too.” Elizabeth hung up. “That was my friend, Shani. She owns Pat Stewarts Home. I called them after my last migraine attack because I decided to redo the main bedroom.”

“Oh, OK. That makes sense. I’ve heard of them, though I doubt they let people with my yearly income into the store.”

“It’s difficult to get an appointment. I only got on the schedule because I’m friends with the owner,” Elizabeth said.

“Money and nepotism, I see how it goes.”

Elizabeth laughed. “The way of the world, sadly.”

“Hmm. But you’re using your power for good.”

Elizabeth frowned. “By redecorating my bedroom?”

Claudia laughed. “No, your charity. You’re helping people in need, and you’re using your money and connections to do so.”

“I don’t put any of my money into Helping Hands anymore,” Elizabeth said.

“That’s fantastic because it means your charity is successful. But you did early on, and if the need were to arise, you’d do it again.”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened. “How can you be sure?”

“I dunno. Just am. You’re the type. And I’ve seen you at work. I’ve seen what Helping Hands does. The way you talk about your charity, all the things you’ve done and continue to do for almost twenty years, it’s—”

“A way to make me feel old.”

Claudia chuckled. “No, it’s impressive. Truly. You’re so committed.”

Elizabeth’s cheeks turned crimson. “I never saw myself like that.”

“Well, you’re not an arrogant, self-involved jerk, so obviously.”

Elizabeth shook her head. “What you just said, how money and nepotism, along with a good portion of bribery, rule the world? I’d noticed it as a child, though I didn’t understand what caused all the inequality, all the pain and suffering. It just didn’t seem fair that some people have everything, while others are left scratching in the dirt.” She closed her eyes.

“Hey, are you all right? Did I say something to upset you?” Claudia’s voice rang softly.

She took off her glasses and wiped her eyes. “No, you didn’t.” She cleared her throat. “I’m fine. It’s just a long story.”

“Will you tell me one day?”

“I just might.” Elizabeth offered a small smile that warmed Claudia.

“I’d like that.”

stranger things

Elizabeth had met no one like Claudia, and while she’d encountered many more people than most due to her work with Helping Hands, she’d never faced someone who confounded her the way Claudia did regularly—like right now, in her office.

She’d come to look forward to these ‘meetings,’ and they offered a break from her self-imposed isolation. She’d experienced grief before, the worst when her grandmother had passed, but the emotions crashing over her now were different. In some ways, Elizabeth was mourning the life she’d had, but more so, the future she’d taken for granted.

Leaving Tom had meant giving up on their future—facing an unknown life at forty-six. Perhaps she was being melodramatic. Life without a partner wasn’t entirely new, and in fact, she’d spent more years single than as part of a couple. But she’d been set. Tom was supposed to be the one. She’d thought she was finished, and now she wasn’t. This realization sometimes threatened to knock her off her feet.

In all of it, Claudia remained the unknown, undefinable, and most of all, the unpredictable variable. Elizabeth loved to solve things, from puzzles to mysteries to equations. The only concern: she worried the solution would hit her harder than she’d expect. Worse, what if it remained elusive? Elizabeth did not appreciate surprises. Much less did she enjoy the sensation of coffee gushing down her white blouse and cream-colored pants.

How had the accident happened? She didn’t even know. They’d been chatting and eating when suddenly, Claudia shifted, and her elbow jostled Elizabeth, who’d been in the process of drinking her freshly refilled coffee, pouring most of the liquid over herself.

They jumped off the couch at the same time. Elizabeth grimaced at the burn shooting through her.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” Claudia exclaimed. “Take off your clothes! You’re burning.”

Elizabeth was already tearing off her soiled blouse as she rushed to the bathroom, barely registering Claudia’s shout of, “I’ll be right back.”

Cursing, Elizabeth stripped down to her underpants, removing her bra since it had gotten soaked too. She ran cold water over a hand towel and pressed it against her stinging skin. Now she wished she’d installed a shower in her private bathroom; she longed to be submerged in ice.

She usually had a second outfit stashed in her office, but it currently rested with the dry cleaner as Amanda and her son Tobin (one of their patrons and her little four-year-old boy) had visited Elizabeth last week, and the boy had smeared sticky, melted residue of Swedish fish all over Elizabeth’s pants and shirt. No one had realized the state of his fingers until it had been too late.

Now she had nothing to wear. She supposed she’d have to wait until her clothes dried some or, if not, she’d just have to wear them as they were—preferable to running around naked.

A while later, a knock startled Elizabeth out of her reverie.

She stepped behind the door and cracked it open. “Yes?”

The gap opened wider and one of Claudia’s hands emerged, a pharmacy bag slung around her wrist while sweatpants and a hoodie lay on her outstretched palm.

Elizabeth’s mouth opened, then closed again. When she didn’t react right away, Claudia jostled her arm.

“Take it. I went to the drugstore and got you some petroleum jelly and aloe gel. The clothes are from my car. They’re clean.”

“Are you in the habit of carrying your wardrobe in your vehicle?” The question came out sharper than Elizabeth intended, and she tried to smile, but feared she’d only managed a grimace.

“I’ll gladly share this fascinating tale once you’ve put on these clothes. You must be freezing. How are the burns? I’m so sorry. I told you I’m clumsy, but it usually results in hurting myself, not others.” She wiggled her arm.

“How reassuring,” Elizabeth mumbled, grasping the clothes and bag. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” Claudia’s arm disappeared and Elizabeth shut the door behind her.

“I don’t know if your bra fell victim, too, but I didn’t have a spare, though mine would be too small for you, anyway.”

Elizabeth flushed and ducked her head. Muttering about good intentions, loss of control, and her exasperating employee, she slipped into the offered pants. She trembled, just now realizing she’d indeed been quite cold. Elizabeth hurried to add the aloe cream on her burned skin before putting on the hoodie. The fabric of Claudia’s clothes was soft and didn’t aggravate her tender skin. Elizabeth gazed into the wall mirror over the sink and her eyes widened at her reflection—disheveled hair and flushed cheeks.

Claudia’s clothing seemed to swallow her, making her feel small. Fragile, almost.

She shook her head in continued exasperation and took a deep breath before leaving the bathroom to rejoin Claudia, who’d cleaned up the mess and returned the mugs to their proper place for washing.

Claudia still wore an expression making her liable to rush close and inspect Elizabeth’s burns. Heat, unrelated to her injuries, inched up Elizabeth’s neck.

“Thank you.” You already said that. At least her mind shared in her vexation. “I could have just put the clothes back on and headed home in a little bit.”

“It was the least I could do, and no.” Claudia grimaced. “Wearing wet clothes is just… ugh.” She shuddered.

A small chuckle left Elizabeth, which made Claudia break out in a grin before she sobered.

“Are you OK, though? I could take you to the hospital and—”

“No!”

Claudia flinched.

“I’m fine. Again, I appreciate your quick thinking and help, but I don’t need to go to the hospital.”

“All right.”

Elizabeth itched at the silence settling between them. “Seems like you owe me another story.” She pointed at the maroon-colored Texas A&M Law School hoodie.

“Oh, right. You want to sit down again?” Claudia asked.

“Sure.”

They once more settled on the couch. A little closer this time, though Elizabeth could also be imagining it. She’d always been rotten at judging distances.

“Remember the terrible winter storm last February?”

Elizabeth winced. “How could anyone forget?”

“Yes, well, anyway. On the day it started, I’d gotten stuck in my car on the interstate. Five miles took seven hours. To be fair, we stood still for most of it.”

“Oh, wow.”

“It was awful. I was so cold and hungry. I had some water, thankfully, but I also worried it would freeze.” She released a wry sigh and rubbed her eyes.

“Are you tired? You look more drained than usual, if I may say so.”

“I’m exhausted, have been for the last few weeks.” She shrugged. “Don’t know why.”

“I’ve heard sleeping helps,” Elizabeth quipped.

Claudia glared at her. “Ha ha.”

“Go on. How did the winter storm relate to your car housing your wardrobe?”

“Right. So, after I made it home, I was basically an icicle, and you know things didn’t get any better for a while. When everything was said and done, I…prepared. I stored a backpack filled with snacks and water in my car, and I’ve put several blankets in my trunk, along with a set of clothes.”

“You know water isn’t supposed to stay in a hot car. At least, water in plastic bottles.”

Claudia smiled. “It’s in glass bottles.”

“Smart thinking.”

“High praise coming from you.”

Elizabeth raised one eyebrow. “Indeed.” She pulled the sleeve of her sweatshirt further up as it had slid over her hand. Elizabeth didn’t share clothes, an act that felt oddly intimate. Was it a generational thing, or did Claudia simply not see it that way? The clothes were comfortable, making Elizabeth assume they were some of Claudia’s favorites.

The worn fabric held a calming scent—detergent mingled with something else, subtly tied to Claudia. A reminder of the unexpected closeness forming between them, of allowing each other into their bubble. Of course, this sharing was the result of an accident.

A memory flashed: Tom’s oversized T-shirt, a stolen moment of intimacy early in their relationship. Elizabeth shivered, distracted by the path her thoughts had chosen to wander.

“Hey, are you up for watching some TV before heading back home?” Claudia drew Elizabeth out of her reverie.

“There’s no TV in the office.”

“Oh, sorry. Habit. I meant we could stream something and watch it on my tablet.”

“I don’t feel like true crime,” Elizabeth said softly.

“Oh, no. I know you’re not into it. I’d not… I wouldn’t suggest that again.”

Elizabeth once more contemplated how she didn’t know anyone like Claudia, wondering where this was all supposed to lead.

“So, what do you say?”

Elizabeth blinked rapidly. She’d missed Claudia’s suggestion. “Come again?”

A small smile formed on Claudia’s lips. “I asked if you’ve heard of Broken Time? An almost campy science fiction show. It’s quite popular and has a committed following. It’s pretty good. Plus, most of the cast are hot. So, eye candy, too.”

“Broken Time? The show with the time traveling institute trying to solve past mysteries?”

“Yes! You know it! I knew you might like it, and—”

“That’s Kat’s show.”

“Wait, what?”

“My friend Kat. I told you about her.”

Claudia’s eyes widened. “Are you serious?”

Elizabeth only stared at Claudia, squashing her rising exasperation—as if she’d make such jokes.

Claudia grabbed her phone, her fingers flitting over the screen.

“What are you doing?”

“Checking out the real names of the cast.” Her gaze never left the screen. She shook her head. “Your best friend is Kathryn Johnson? The lead in Broken Time?”

“Yes. Who are your eye candies? The male lead, what’s his name? Tim, something or other?”

Claudia narrowed her eyes, picked up a pillow, and tossed it at Elizabeth.

Startled, Elizabeth caught it, her eyes widening.

“I’ll never tell.”

“No comment is most often an admission of guilt,” Elizabeth argued.

“Uh uh, not true. It’s a form of Glomarization and as such inherently neutral.”

“But you’re not a federal agency.”

Claudia pouted. “You’re telling me that now?”

“It never seemed relevant before.” What on earth was going on?

“Do you even watch shows Kat plays in?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

Claudia shrugged. “It might be weird. You know her, and you see her on there as this entirely different person. It seems strange.”

Elizabeth waved her off. “I’ve known Kat forever, and it’s acting, so it’s not as if I have the expectation to see her like I know her. She’s playing a role, so…”

“I suppose. Is that a yes or no on watching an episode?”

“Sure. I’ve only seen the first season, though.”

“What kind of friend are you? They’re in the middle of season three right now!”

“Hey! Look who’s rude now? First, you assume I wouldn’t even watch it because Kat’s my friend, and now what… I’m a terrible friend if I’m not caught up? I live a busy life, and watching TV isn’t a priority.”

“What are your priorities?”

Elizabeth released a ragged breath but held Claudia’s inquisitive gaze, feeling like she could just about lose herself in the depth of her dark eyes. Why did Claudia always do that? She derailed their conversation, leaving Elizabeth breathless and in a state of strange tension bordering on excitement.“In what? Television?” She tried to defuse the situation as her heart thumped and she folded her arms to hide the tremble that had overcome her hands.

“I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable. I’m a bulldozer at times, and my head is always spinning. I jump from one topic to the next in there, and often it bleeds into my conversation. Especially when…” Claudia rolled her lips.

“Especially when?”

“I like you, and I find you quite interesting. So, I have all these questions, and when they pop into my head, I just blurt them out. Too often I only realize how inappropriate some of them are after I’ve said them.” Claudia flushed.

“You didn’t make me uncomfortable. I’m curious about you as well. Your mind is quite fascinating.”

Claudia maintained eye contact.

“Do you still want to know?” Elizabeth almost whispered.

“About your priorities?”

Elizabeth nodded.

“You can assume that my answer to anything relating to getting to know you will almost always be yes.”

Elizabeth refrained from sharing how shocked and surprised she was by the developments of the night, even more so by her own willingness to open up. “I’m not sure.” She groaned. “That sounds quite pathetic. I’m sprinting toward fifty, and I don’t know my priorities.”

“It’s not pathetic.”

“You’re obligated to say that.”

Claudia laughed. “How’s so?”

“I’m your boss.”

“True, but I don’t know. It feels like we’re on the path to something more.”

“A path to what?”

“Friends?”

“Friends,” Elizabeth intoned, the word sounding foreign to her ears.

“Yes. I’d like that. Maybe one day I’ll even meet the famous Raji.”

At times, Claudia seemed like one of the bravest souls Elizabeth had ever met. “He’s a hard nut to crack. He never warmed to Tom.”

“Ouch,” Claudia said.

“All right, Helping Hands is a priority, but for my private life.” She shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Perhaps you can use the time now, this fresh start, so to speak, as an opportunity to figure things out.”

“I’ve heard worse ideas.”

Claudia smiled.

They watched two episodes of Kat’s show—Elizabeth sometimes forgot what a talented actress her friend was. Claudia ended up telling her about rumors of a cast shakeup for the next season. Claudia’s enthusiasm when talking about Broken Time endeared her to Elizabeth, not that she’d pointed it out. Still, Claudia’s smiling face and wide eyes, the way she talked with her hands, drew Elizabeth in, and at some point, Claudia paused, gazing intently at Elizabeth.

“What? Am I boring you?”

“No, no. What makes you say that?”

“Your face.”

Elizabeth’s brows furrowed.

“The way you look at me, I mean,” Claudia rushed out.

“How do I look at you?”

Claudia shrugged. “Like you’re indulging me?”

“I’m not. I’m genuinely interested in what you have to say. I enjoy hearing your take on things.”

Claudia flushed. “Oh.”

She held Claudia’s gaze, and Elizabeth’s heart skipped a beat at the growing connection between them.

with hippies and gelato

Claudia was about to leave work after five, when she ran into Elizabeth in the hallway. Before she could utter more than a greeting, a look of determination washed over Elizabeth’s features.

“I was wondering if you might join me at Pat Stewarts? You seemed curious, and I could use an unbiased opinion. My appointment is Wednesday afternoon. I could text you the details.”

Claudia’s eyebrows rose. “Really?” Excitement coiled through her, both at the thought of an out-of-work outing with Elizabeth and the fact that she’d seek her opinion on something so personal.

“Yes.”

“Sure. Why not? I’m curious about how it all works.” Claudia frowned. “Not that I need their services.”

“Naturally. I’ll be…anticipating your not-so-terrible ideas.”

Claudia laughed. “Wow. What a vote of confidence.”

“Well, we’ll have to see, right? Our tastes might not align, and so it’s possible I’ll hate everything you like and vice versa, but it’s still smart to have an unbiased observer with you.”

“I’ll have you know I have impeccable taste, thank you very much.”

“People always say that about themselves, given we like what we like, so our preferences will always appeal to us. If they didn’t, we’d have other preferences.” Elizabeth straightened, seeming way too pleased with her clever answer.

“True. This reminds me of my friend, Theo. Gosh, we were like fourteen or so, and he’d often come with me to hang out at my cousin’s house. One time, he looked at her music collection before turning around, and…” She laughed.

“What?”

“He asked, ‘Don’t you prefer your cousin’s music over your own?’”

Elizabeth frowned. “But then your music taste would be identical.”

“You don’t say,” Claudia drawled.

“Indeed, and it fits along with what I said. Hence, my point: you believing you have impeccable taste means nothing because, of course, you’d like your taste.”

“Point taken, but I have it on good authority this isn’t just a case of me being stuck in my own world.”

“Huh. I suppose we’ll find out on Wednesday.”

“To quote a wise elder of mine, ‘indeed.’”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened. “You didn’t!”

“What? Give props to my elder? Or recognize your tendency to overuse ‘indeed?’”

“I do not overuse ‘indeed.’ I use it just enough. It’s a great word and conveys a lot of meanings.”

“Indeed.”

“You’re mocking me.”

Claudia held up her hands. “I’m not! I swear. Although I might be teasing you.”

Elizabeth’s cheeks flushed. She dipped her head before finding Claudia’s gaze again, offering what almost amounted to a mischievous smile. “Oh.”

“Now you’re mocking me.”

“Of course not. But teasing can never be just one-sided, and you aren’t the only observant one.”

“Noted.”

“Now, don’t you have some work to finish?” And with that, Elizabeth shooed her back into her office.

~ ~ ~

Claudia had an “emergency” at her parents’ place on Tuesday—her mother and grandmother had gotten into an argument, and her father, at his wits’ end, called Claudia to help (translation: rescue him by letting both women fuss over her, giving them common ground). When she arrived, they acted as if nothing had happened, which was convenient. Still, she couldn’t help but feel relieved that the request had come on Tuesday, not Wednesday, allowing her to accompany Elizabeth the next day and disappoint neither.

Then, she’d immediately chastised herself over such foolishness. This infatuation would go nowhere. Not only was Elizabeth straight, but she also… Well, she no longer seemed to perceive Claudia as a child, but work, their background and all the “Tom business” remained. It was one thing to move from professional to friendly, but anything more would be preposterous.

Of course, the very first point made the rest moot, but Claudia preferred to remind herself of all the reasons why even so much as an infatuation would prove unwise. Yet, none of it stopped her urge to get to know Elizabeth more, and better still, to learn everything Elizabeth would be willing to share.

She liked Elizabeth and enjoyed her company. So, even if nothing but a friendship developed, she didn’t see why she should deny herself. Friends were great, and she could use a few more, especially with how busy Sammy had been recently at work. She and Elizabeth got along well, and Elizabeth seemed as keen to continue their… association.

On Wednesday afternoon, Claudia pulled into the parking lot of Pat Stewarts Home. She released a deep breath, turned off the engine and exited her vehicle. She waved at Elizabeth as she approached with a small smile forming on her lips.

“Are you ready to impress me with your impeccable taste?”

“Yes.” Claudia felt a little breathless. Elizabeth smiled rarely, and each occurrence made Claudia’s heart flutter. Ridiculous. “Be prepared to be amazed.” She tried to act calm though she felt anything but.

They wordlessly fell into step and strode toward the entrance.

Claudia wasn’t sure what she’d expected—a stylish showroom with expensive, expressionist art hanging on the walls and modern furniture pieces without price tags, or an antebellum architectural hellscape. Instead, at least at first glance, the place resembled a homey bookstore, with comfy, worn leather sofas and quirky coffee tables alongside equally peculiar end tables harboring incense holders. Had they gone to the wrong address? Was Elizabeth secretly a hippie? Was she even old enough for—

“Are you all right?” Elizabeth interrupted Claudia’s rambling train of thought.

“Yes. Sorry. Just taking it all in.”

“Not what you expected, hmm?”

“What gave me away?”

Elizabeth put her index finger on her lips, drawing Claudia’s gaze to them. “Let’s see. Your wide eyes and gaping mouth?”

Claudia’s mouth fell open before she snapped it shut, glaring at Elizabeth, whose clear blue eyes sparkled. “You’re not funny.”

“And you make messing with you too easy.”

“All of this is going on a list, and one day—”

“Yes, yes.” Elizabeth patted Claudia’s arm.

Claudia was about to say something when a scent distracted her. She sniffed. “Is that… This is patchouli, isn’t it?” She lowered her voice and leaned closer to Elizabeth. “Is this a hippie place? I know you’re quite advanced in your age, but you can’t have been a hippie.”

Elizabeth bumped into her. “Hush. I’m beginning to think I can’t take you places.”

Before Claudia could reply, a middle-aged woman with dark brown skin and long, black braids, wearing a red and green dashiki strode toward them and immediately clasped Elizabeth’s hands in hers.

“Elizabeth, dear, it’s so good to see you again.” She turned toward Claudia with a warm smile. “And who is your guest?”

“This is my friend, Claudia. Claudia, meet my good friend, Shani Mwangi, the owner of Pat Stewarts Home.”

Claudia blinked rapidly before shaking off her stupor at being introduced as such, and with a smile, grasped Shani’s hand. “Hello. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Hello, dear. Are you here to talk Elizabeth out of turning her bedroom into a cold, modern, sterile, black and white landscape?”

Claudia barely suppressed a gasp. That does sound awful. She straightened. “Yes, I hope so.”

“It’s pretty.”

“For a showroom, yes, for some HGTV show, sure, but for your bedroom?” Claudia frowned. “Shouldn’t it be a cozy, warm, comfortable room? Like your sanctuary where you can recharge.” Thank goodness Elizabeth had asked her to come along. Her subconscious must have known it would be a disaster otherwise.

“I like her,” Shani said.

“Because she agrees with you.”

Shani shrugged. “Petra will take on your project. She’s running late because of traffic, but she should be here any moment. Can I offer you a cup of coffee or tea while you wait? I just made a fresh pot of Earl Grey, and—”

“Yes, please.” Claudia flushed. “Sorry. I’m just a big fan of Earl Grey.”

“Say no more. You should keep her around, Liz. She’s got good taste.”

“So she claims,” Elizabeth said, and when their gazes met, Claudia felt sure the fondness she kept seeing in Elizabeth’s expression wasn’t just something she imagined.

They chatted for a couple more minutes before a tall woman with messy red curls and a face full of freckles dashed into the store. “So sorry I’m late, Shani. Today was nuts.”

“No worries,” Shani replied. “I’ll leave you to it. Goodbye, Liz, Claudia.” She nodded as they reciprocated her farewell before she turned and walked toward a door in the back.

The designer faced them. “Hi, I’m Petra. I’m assuming one of you is Elizabeth?”

“Hello. I’m Elizabeth, and this is Claudia.”

“Hi,” Claudia said.

They all shook hands.

“I’m excited to meet you. Come on, let’s sit down and discuss your vision for your bedroom. Shani forwarded me your floor plan, so we got the measurements down. We can first discuss general décor ideas, and afterward I’ll show you some options. Any more tea?”

Elizabeth and Claudia declined and listened to Petra’s ideas for the bedroom redecoration.

Claudia had never been interested in interior design, and any knowledge she had stemmed from HGTV shows she’d watched with her mother and grandmother—one of the few times when their bickering was hilarious. She more often agreed with teta, but she was wise enough not to say so out loud in front of her mother.

However, she enjoyed Petra’s presentation and had some clear favorites, although she held back at first since it wasn’t about her preferences. After Elizabeth’s somewhat noncommittal replies, Petra eventually turned to her, asking for her input. Claudia’s gaze shifted to Elizabeth, who eyed her expectantly.

“I think this look”—Claudia tapped the screen depicting a sleek, black modern bedroom set,angular and severe—“might be a bit too dark.”

“There are lighter options,” Petra said, and after a few keystrokes, the color changed to charcoal, then light gray, until she also showed a white version.

Claudia shuddered.

“It’s very elegant,” Elizabeth pointed out.

Claudia stifled a sigh. “It’s not you.” She flushed. Was this too presumptuous? But Elizabeth had asked for her opinion. “It looks like Patrick Bateman’s bedroom.”

Petra tilted her head.

“The serial killer?” Elizabeth almost spluttered.

“Fictional?” Claudia’s voice rang high and apologetic. That he wasn’t real had to count for something.

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes.

“It’s always difficult when a couple has such divergent tastes, but I’m sure we’ll figure something out that will appeal to you both,” Petra interjected, a (failed) attempt to calm the situation.

“Oh, we’re not. She’s not…” Claudia stammered.

Elizabeth shot her a blank stare.

“My apologies.” Petra quickly changed the screen to a different bedroom set. “What about this one?” she asked Elizabeth.

Claudia released a harsh breath. Why on earth had Petra assumed they were a couple? As if Elizabeth would ever be interested in dating her. Annoyed by her own thought, she forced herself to refocus on the topic at hand, especially the absence of prices.

The lack of transparency made Claudia uneasy. How were you supposed to make an informed decision if you didn’t know the price of the product or service? But it probably would be rude to ask.

They left the store an hour later, Elizabeth having settled on a compromise, some modern features, but it wasn’t black and white, nor did it look like a futuristic alien bar. It appeared quite cozy on the screen.

On their way back to their cars, Claudia halted, her hands finding their way into her pockets. “Do you wanna get some ice cream?”

“What? Now?”

“Don’t tell me you don’t like ice cream?” Claudia asked.

Elizabeth released a small chuckle. “Don’t sound so scandalized. I like it just fine, but it’s October.”

“Early October, and it’s also sixty-two degrees.”

“Exactly.”

“That’s not cold. Most definitely not too cold for ice cream, and we’re close to my favorite ice cream shop. They make hand-churned gelato and house-made cannoli.”

“Well, if that’s the case,” Elizabeth said.

Claudia froze for a moment, arrested by the playful yet intense glow in Elizabeth’s eyes. She was lucky this woman was straight, or Claudia would be in deep trouble.

“Lead the way.”

“What?”

“To your wondrous ice cream parlor.”

“Oh, right, yes. But we still gotta drive.” Claudia scrunched up her nose. “Drive together and leave one car here?”

“Sure. Let’s take mine.”

Claudia nodded and stepped to the passenger side of Elizabeth’s car. She settled in the seat and closed her eyes when a mixture of bergamot and jasmine washed over her.

“What is it?” Elizabeth fastened her seatbelt.

“Nothing. Just memories.”

“Good ones?”

“The best.”

“A random thought or did something provoke them?”

Claudia pressed her lips together. Saying, ‘your scent,’ might not be the best answer. “The latter.”

“Care to share?” Elizabeth pulled out of the parking lot.

“One day, yes.”

“Good.”

Claudia neither wanted nor could quell the happiness rising in her at Elizabeth’s remark. She knew she shouldn’t get so attached, not just because of their history and the current work situation, but also because she didn’t need a crush on a straight woman.

As such, she’d decided not to have one, and so far, she’d mostly succeeded. It didn’t count that Elizabeth’s reserved and rare smiles made her heart tremble or how at ease and content she felt in her presence. The first one was a mere biological impulse and would pass with time. The second one, though? She loved it, and to her, it ushered in the beginnings of a great friendship. That was, until Elizabeth placed her order.

degrees of separation

“You cannot eat eggnog gelato,” Claudia exclaimed with such fervor Elizabeth startled.

“Why? Is it gross?”

“What? How would I know? It’s eggnog.” Claudia winced.

Elizabeth blinked rapidly, wondering if she’d missed something important. “And?”

“It’s just…offensive.”

“Excuse me? Are you the flavor police?”

“If you’re committing a crime, yes,” Claudia said.

“Well, I suppose you’ll have to arrest me because I love eggnog. Since we’re nearing the ‘best time’ of the year, and this lovely establishment has an ‘eggnog fall special,’ it seems like destiny, don’t you think? Besides, I always choose the flavor when they offer it.”

“But—”

“What? You can’t be seen with someone who likes eggnog?”

“I sure haven’t been before,” Claudia grumbled.

“But your…” Elizabeth looked down at the listed flavors, “cookie butter gelato is better?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

Claudia shrugged. “It’s cookie butter. And let me tell you, I may have had some weird cravings lately, but eggnog ice cream is on another level.”

“Worse than the boiled eggs you had the other day with horseradish? Let’s not forget, you wanted to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with egg salad.” Elizabeth grimaced.

“Still not as distasteful as eggnog anything.”

Elizabeth shook her head. “Perhaps you should’ve asked what flavors I prefer before asking me out for ice cream.”

“I didn’t ask you out…” Claudia frowned. “I mean, I did, but not…as a date—”

“This is your second freak-out today over the idea of dating me. You’re not homophobic, are you?” Elizabeth narrowed her eyes. “I have quite a few gay friends, and while I can accept you hating eggnog and judging those who love it—judging me—we have a real problem if you’re a raging homophobe.”

Claudia spluttered.

The staff handed them their gelatos, and they strode to the corner to sit down at a table.

“I’m not a homophobe,” Claudia rushed out. “I’m bisexual, so it would be kinda weird. Although I suppose internalized homophobia exists, but nope. Not me.”

Elizabeth’s shoulders relaxed. “You make a valid point.”

Claudia stuffed a spoonful of gelato in her mouth. She leaned back in her chair, sighing and closing her eyes. “This is so good.”

Elizabeth ate some of hers and released a low moan.

Claudia coughed.

“You’re right. It’s amazing.” In fact, this alone might have made the entire ordeal with Tom worth it. She rolled her eyes. While not the biggest fan of exaggerations, sometimes they were indeed needed.

“Impeccable taste, remember.” Claudia ate another bite.

“Not in ice cream, you don’t,” Elizabeth argued.

Claudia snorted. “Says the woman who likes the flavor of milk mixed with egg yolk.” She scowled.

Elizabeth pointed her spoon at her. “You’re very judgmental.”

“Only when it’s warranted.”

“Like when you vetoed the modern look for my bedroom?” Elizabeth suppressed a smile at the furious blush spreading over Claudia’s cheeks. Smiles seemed to be easier for her around Claudia. Another odd fact to contemplate.

“I did no such thing!”

Elizabeth bit her lower lip. “You do indignation so well.”

Claudia folded her arms across her chest.

“Is it a family trait?”

“Perhaps. Either way, I vetoed nothing. What do I have to do with your bedroom, anyway?”

“Nothing, but you know, saying something looks cold and sterile and reminds you of the penthouse of the lead in American Psycho is not a ringing endorsement.”

Claudia ducked her head. “If you put it that way.”

Elizabeth hadn’t been this amused by anyone’s company in a long time. Claudia had shaped up to be a breath of fresh air, clichéd as it might sound, and annoyingly, also proving Tilda’s assessment correct. And once more, the urge to remain in her presence overcame Elizabeth.

“What about your family traits? Anything you need to forewarn me about?” Claudia asked.

Elizabeth looked perplexed.

“It seems relevant, no?”

“Any family traits I may have acquired are likely nothing to be proud of.”

Claudia’s face dropped. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring down the mood. You’d mentioned your family being difficult.”

Elizabeth waved her off. “It’s fine. And the mood isn’t ruined. It’s just the truth.” After a beat. “I suppose it’s another line on the list of circumstances separating us.”

“I’m not a fan of you dividing us like that.”

“But we’re separated by so many things.” Elizabeth ate the last bit of her gelato.

“Do we have to be?”

Elizabeth wondered why this bothered Claudia so much. She’d been used to it growing up, to having enjoyed a more than privileged social position, and to interacting with people who were much like herself—at least while she was younger, before she could forge her own way. Well, aside a few exceptions, though they had only happened because of her grandmother. Her mother, on the other hand, had always had very specific ideas about whom Elizabeth should interact with. It hadn’t just been Tom’s age and his handsome face that had bothered her.

“What do you mean?” Elizabeth asked.

“Do you think there’s a bridge to cross the divide? We could meet in the middle.”

Elizabeth leaned back in her chair, contemplating the intense expression on Claudia’s face. “What do you see dividing us?”

“Wait, you said we’re separated by so many things. Shouldn’t that be your question to answer?”

Elizabeth huffed.

“Well? You don’t like it when I throw your complaint back at you?”

“It’s not really a complaint, more a reality.”

“Enlighten me,” Claudia requested.

“All right. There’s the age difference, and—”

“I feel that’s solely on you. You’re the one who saw me as a child when we first met.”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened, both at the notion itself and the vehemence in Claudia’s tone. “I did not! You’re quite a bit younger, but my focus with this was more on Tom, and the cliché of my husband, ex-husband, although I suppose we’re technically still married. Separated then? Anyway, your age stood out in relation to it, to Tom cheating on me with a significantly younger woman.”

“Here it is again. Significantly.” Claudia raised her eyebrows.

“Is this your triumphant expression? If it is, it needs work.”

Claudia pouted.

“The pout is good, though. You have an adorable puppy expression sometimes.”

Claudia glared at her.

“Come on. Eighteen years is quite the difference.”

“We’re both grown-ups, and in the end, age becomes nothing but a number. It’s not like there’s an age range and you can only be friends with people who are plus/minus five years of your own age.”

“Indeed.” Elizabeth bit on her lip to avoid smiling.

“What other issue separates us?” Claudia asked.

“Finances. We grew up in quite different worlds,” Elizabeth said.

“I don’t see how this matters. There also isn’t an income range you need to fall into to be friends with someone.”

“True. Still, people tend to move in their own circles.”

“Yes, but we don’t have to—and we aren’t.”

Elizabeth raised one eyebrow.

“What?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

Claudia’s eyelids flickered before she released a rough breath. “Tom.”

“Tom.”

Silence.

“I destroyed your marriage. You’re right. That’s hard to overcome.”

“Tom ruined our marriage. But he’s still a lingering ghost. Now, if we’d been friends and you’d slept with my husband—”

“Hush!” Claudia’s head swiveled around, taking in the other customers minding their own business.

“What?”

“Don’t be so…loud. People can hear you.”

Elizabeth leaned forward and placed her arms on the table. “Do you care what these people think of you?”

“Normally I don’t, but this is something… I don’t cheat. I don’t…” She clenched her jaw.

“Oh, I didn’t mean to—” Elizabeth said.

“It’s fine. You did nothing wrong.”

“Neither did you.” Elizabeth raised one eyebrow.

Claudia sighed. “If you say so.”

“I do. And I’m right.”

“You’re something, all right.”

Elizabeth canted her head. “Is that a good thing?”

Claudia worried her lip, and Elizabeth almost missed her answer. “Yes. Either way, it doesn’t matter. Not to me. I don’t have many friends, not close friends, at least. I get along with most people, and—”

Elizabeth snorted.

“Oh, hush.”

Claudia’s earnest gaze hit Elizabeth in the chest. “What is it?”

“I’m just glad we’re doing this, and that we’ve even ventured out of the office. Please don’t withdraw now because you think we’re divided by all this nonsense. We can still be friends. None of your points would prevent that.”

“Is this still something you want?” Elizabeth’s heart drummed wildly, leaving her breathless.

“Yes.”

An awful thought resurfaced in Elizabeth’s mind. “This entire friend-business, it’s not about penance or because you think I’m lonely?”

“Of course not!” Claudia sounded indignant.

“Because I’m not lonely. Mind you, after five years of living with Tom, the house feels too big for one person, but I’m all right. I’m…” She frowned. “I’m not sure at what stage of the grieving process I’ve arrived, but I feel mostly fine. Although I don’t know what that says about my marriage.”

“Why does it have to say anything?”

Elizabeth shrugged.

“Maybe it speaks of your resilience. Anyway, I just enjoy spending time with you, and I’d like to continue. I’m not saying this out of pity or a guilty conscience. And you already told me to quit the penance thing.”

“I did, yes.” Could it be true? She supposed Claudia hadn’t lied to her yet. “Good to know.”

“So, can we?”

“What?”

Claudia flushed and sat straighter. “Continue the friends-business, as you call it.”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened, but before her brain could make her swallow the answer, a breathy “Yes” spilled from her lips.

Claudia’s answering smile shone brightly, almost blinding Elizabeth.

“So, there’s this new detective movie coming out, and I’ve been meaning to see it. Maybe you could join me. This Sunday?” Claudia asked.

“What about your Sunday lunch with your family?”

Claudia smiled, looking pleased, as if she hadn’t expected Elizabeth to recall any details or information about her. If she only knew how much space she occupied in Elizabeth’s head—a terribly ill-advised notion.

“The showing is at five. Plenty of time.”

“All right. Text me the information.”

“Great.” A lump once more formed in Elizabeth’s throat at Claudia’s answering smile.

~ ~ ~

Back home, Elizabeth settled on the couch with Raji and a glass of Merlot, sipping her wine while listening to the melodic voice of Ella Fitzgerald. She felt content and was contemplating her day and future plans. Her lawyer recently delivered good news—the assurance that Tom had no leg to stand on.

She noted how much of her contentedness seemed to revolve around Claudia and their burgeoning friendship, and she didn’t…hate it. Though Elizabeth also admitted Claudia’s quizzical reaction—twice—to the notion of being involved with her stung a little. She didn’t assume a woman who loves women would be romantically interested in every woman she meets—tendrils of annoyance rose at even feeling like this, contemplating it. After all, she wasn’t Blanche Devereaux, bemoaning the fact that a lesbian friend preferred Rose Nylund over her. No, this wasn’t borne of ego.

It merely seemed like an odd, small ache. Not even akin to being picked last for games during physical education or not receiving an invitation to the birthday party of the popular Elizabeth in eighth grade. No. It just hurt. And she was being silly. She didn’t even date women; not to mention, she was Claudia’s boss.

Once she’d emptied the glass and Raji had abandoned her to inspect the shadowy play of the last rays of sunshine dipping onto the carpet through the windows, she rose to pick up a book from the bedroom.

Her foot collided with something under the bed. Elizabeth frowned before checking.

“Oh, right.” She pulled out an ornate wooden box and lifted it onto the bed. She stroked the lid before sitting down next to it. Elizabeth first eyed the box as if it were an explosive device, and in retrospect, she should have heeded her first instinct and hid it in the closet.

Instead, she opened the lid and sighed. Inside were mementos, sentimental items intermixed with letters, photos, and theater ticket stubs. How silly. She picked up the first photo, which pictured a teenage Elizabeth, grinning at the camera with her nan by her side. She supposed it wasn’t uncommon for a mother to dislike her son’s wife. Her nan surely had had plenty of reasons to criticize Mary, given all the things her mother had tended to say about her husband’s family (parents so often thought kids didn’t pay attention), yet she’d never uttered a bad word about Elizabeth’s mother, at least not in her granddaughter’s vicinity.

It had been over twenty years since she’d lost her grandmother, yet on some days it still felt like she’d gotten the news yesterday. She placed the image back and picked up a letter, frowning at first when she recognized Tom’s handwriting. Then she recalled—how could she have forgotten the sweet notes and letters he used to write her? She read half of the letter before she had to push it aside, her vision blurry and her chest constricted.

That bastard.

Her marriage was over. He’d cheated on her, tried to screw her over financially after she’d financed his path to becoming partner, told her mother about their divorce, and here she sat, mourning what they’d had. How incredibly pathetic.

She wondered if you could still appreciate what you had in the past, even when the present had turned to shit and the future had all but evaporated? Because shouldn’t she just be full of righteous anger instead of feeling this lump of sadness?

Elizabeth still felt utterly frozen at the prospect of spending the rest of her life alone.

She shook her head and rifled through the rest of the contents of her little chest. More of Tom’s letters, pictures of their wedding and honeymoon, a few candid shots of them laughing and enjoying life. Elizabeth grasped a delicate golden bracelet, like interconnected tree branches, fragile, yet strong, and decorated with leaves. A gift from Tom she’d worn every day until Claudia had shown her those images, when she’d stuffed it unceremoniously into this box before stashing it under the bed.

It had been much easier to take off the ring than the band. She wanted to cram it right back into the chest and shove it beneath the bed, so she’d not feel so heavy. Then she’d not have the pressure building in her chest and behind her eyes. Memories flooded her mind, and she fell back on the bed, crying, the bracelet clutched in her hand.

with a little pink help that lied

Claudia couldn’t attend her family’s regular Sunday lunch because she’d spent all night vomiting. When she’d called her mother in the morning to tell her she couldn’t make it, she naturally sent her father to bring Claudia rice, plain yogurt, and 7up to tide her over. She doubted it was a stomach bug as she didn’t feel ill aside from a constant nausea leading her to hug her toilet, but you never knew with these things.

She exchanged a few texts with Elizabeth, sadly canceling their movie outing. She was so sweet, asking if Claudia needed anything, but she declined. She would loath to infect Elizabeth if indeed something ailed her. Later that night, she called Sammy.

“Hey,” she croaked.

“Hi. Are you OK?” Sammy asked.

“Yeah. Well, better now. I was constantly throwing up last night and most of today. My stomach seems to have settled.”

“Did you eat something bad?”

“No clue. I have no other symptoms. Nothing I ate seemed off. Perhaps it was my exposure to eggnog gelato. That shit lingers.”

“Wait what?”

Claudia chuckled. “Nothing. I’d been out with Elizabeth, and we ended up getting some gelato. She had the eggnog.” She frowned.

“You went out with Elizabeth? I thought your efforts to be friendly took place at the office.”

“Yes, well, she wants to redecorate her bedroom now that they’re getting a divorce, and—”

“Because you slept with her husband.”

Claudia’s lips thinned. She still felt so terrible about it, especially now they had embarked on a friendship. She wanted this relationship, but they still stood on such fragile ground, and she worried it would come crashing down one day. At least Elizabeth had no issue with her being bisexual. That would have sucked. A lot.

“Yes, but that’s beside the point.”

“So you say.”

“You know, you are more stuck on this than even Elizabeth and I are, which is odd, given it doesn’t affect you at all.”

“I’m stuck on it because it’s a major conflict of interest, and it impacts me if you’re hurt in the process.”

“I won’t be. I can take care of myself.”

“All right. Why did she want you there to pick out a new bedroom set?”

“It’s more than just a bedroom set. She went to this exclusive, insanely expensive designer, and I’d made a quip about them not allowing someone with my yearly income inside, and well, she thought I might like to come along and see. Be an unbiased second opinion and all.”

“That’s nice.”

Claudia hummed.

“And you had ice cream after because…”

“Why not? It’s ice cream.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t a date?”

“Ugh, Sammy. No. I told you she’s straight, and I’m… I won’t go there.”

“But you like her.”

“That’s irrelevant. I like her as a friend, and…I enjoy spending time with her.”

“Mmhmm.”

“Oh, shut up.”

“Why did you call me if not for my amazing insights?”

Claudia snorted. “Please. I don’t even know. The vomiting must have addled my brain, too.”

“Hey! Wait a sec.”

“What?”

“When was the last time you slept with Tom?”

“Huh? Why?”

“Well… The nausea.”

Claudia waved her off. “No. That’s impossible. We split… Let’s see…uh, early August. So about nine weeks ago, and we always used protection.”

“Did you get your period since then?”

Claudia scratched her head. She couldn’t recall when she’d had her period last. “Probably.”

“You don’t know?”

“I don’t keep track. It’s irregular anyway.”

“Maybe you should get a test. Just to be sure.”

“Sammy, come on. Be real. The chances are super low. The stress just messed with my period. It’s not unusual.”

“Nine weeks is quite some time, and condoms aren’t infallible.”

Claudia groaned. That was the last thing she wanted, and as far as what she needed, being pregnant with Tom Pittin’s baby didn’t even make the list. Her eyes widened. “It would ruin things with Elizabeth.”

“What things?” Sammy asked, and Claudia felt like slapping her. Too bad she was too far away.

“Our budding fragile friendship, Sammy!”

“Right. I mean, if she chose to be friends with you knowing you had an affair with her husband—”

“Ex-husband. And those are two entirely different things.”

“They aren’t divorced yet, and—”

“Separated. It’s only a matter of time and legality,” Claudia argued.

“Sure, but my point is, she seems fine with it all. Why would this now be a problem?”

“You really don’t see a difference between knowing Tom slept with me for several months and me carrying his child? She wanted children, you know.”

“Oh, shit. That would change things.”

“I’d say. Thankfully, I’m not pregnant, so this is all moot.”

“All right.”

“Yes. Now, let’s talk about you and your little drama.”

“Politics is no little drama.”

“I’ll give you that.”

She chatted with Sammy for almost an hour until nausea reared its head again. After once more emptying her stomach contents and drinking another cup of peppermint tea, she went to sleep. Before that, she’d replied to Elizabeth’s message inquiring about how she felt—better but still too barfy—likely not the most eloquent reply she’d ever typed, alas… Overcome with a sudden bout of bone-crushing exhaustion, she quickly succumbed to sleep after pressing send and turning off her phone.

The next morning, Claudia awoke and once more ran to embrace the porcelain throne. She hated vomiting bile with a passion. There should be a law against it. She’d suggest it to Sammy. Maybe even Sammy’s arch nemesis Miriam could get behind it.

Sweaty and frustrated, she called in sick from work only to spend the rest of the morning fretting about the bug Sammy had planted in her ear. What if she was pregnant?

One way to find out.

She drove to the closest store to buy the disgusting pink sludge that would hopefully kill her nausea (could one take it when pregnant?).

Claudia lumbered by the aisle with pregnancy tests, almost feeling that merely being there—let along buying one would jinx her. Not that she believed in such things. A lot. But why would this happen? Yes, yes, she’d had sex with a man, but protected sex!

She wanted kids, but not now, and most definitely not with Tom. Yet, the damage was done. She groaned. Claudia knew she’d feel horrible for having referred to her child as ‘damage’ if she were indeed pregnant. Because that was who they’d be, her child. She halted in front of the shelf containing condoms and pregnancy tests. How quaint.

She didn’t want to be pregnant for so many reasons, but… Claudia forced herself to grab two boxes (just in case) and darted to the registers. She hated everything about this and prayed to any God willing to listen she wasn’t pregnant, that the universe wouldn’t mess with her.

Back home, she couldn’t tell the origin of the nausea dancing through her stomach, but since it didn’t make her throw up, she assumed it was nerves. She glared at the pregnancy test as if her will could speed it up and offer her the result she desired. Seconds seemed to morph into hours, and when she raised her head, she startled at her own reflection. She needed a haircut, a shower, and sleep. Not in that order.

When she dipped her head, she faltered, gripping the sink.

Two lines.

She couldn’t be pregnant. Did the test expire? She grabbed the package and flipped it. Nope, good until next year. Claudia tore open the second box and, with trembling fingers, pulled out another test. False positives happened, and she’d never hoped as fervently for anything before. She couldn’t have a child now. Not Tom’s child.

She left the bathroom and paced her living room. Could you wait too long to look at the results and would it make them invalid? What would she do if she was pregnant? She’d have the baby—not a question. But her family. She closed her eyes, stilling. They’d be so disappointed. She most definitely would not share the circumstances surrounding her pregnancy.

With a sigh, Claudia returned to the bathroom and exhaling in a rush, she clutched the second pregnancy test—once more two red lines glared at her. They weren’t even faint. She sagged onto the toilet. What was she going to do?

Make a doctor’s appointment because both pregnancy tests could be wrong. She had to be sure before she upended her life and… Damn it. If she were indeed pregnant, she’d also have to tell Tom, and she never wanted to see or hear from him again. What if he changed his mind and wanted to be part of her child’s life?

She marveled for a second at her first reaction to the idea: I don’t want him in my life, but I wish Elizabeth would stay.

Fittingly, another stumble toward the toilet interrupted the thought.

When she fell back down on the couch later, she struggled to keep her mind from meandering down paths filled with nothing but suffering. Her mind conjured one horror scenario after another—her family abandoning her, teta looking at her with eyes full of disappointment, Elizabeth shouting at her, shutting her out, refusing to answer her calls, or even blocking her. Tom suddenly demanding shared or full custody, arguing Claudia’s financial situation would harm their child. At least she had a better-paying job now at Helping Hands. Besides, the worry was ridiculous. Tom had always said he never wanted children, and Claudia doubted he’d change his mind.

And worst of all—losing the baby. Dying.

She supposed the last fear would rid her of all the others. Claudia groaned. This wouldn’t do. You created most of your problems yourself, especially by worrying. She refused to just lie here, losing her mind in a swamp of useless fretting. There’d be answers to her questions, but she wouldn’t find them by sitting on the couch, drowning in trepidation.

powder kegs and stones

Although Elizabeth lived a busy lifestyle and Helping Hands didn’t lend itself to a stable routine, she remained a creature of habit. Some of them were old and founded in her youth, but plenty of new ones existed—some Tom had shattered—and the most recent one had snuck up on her over the last several weeks. She hadn’t noticed it until the routine had been broken.

Claudia hadn’t stopped by her office for anything all week. She’d seen her perhaps once in the hallway, where she’d looked pale and tired. Elizabeth had attributed it to her recent illness. They hadn’t been in the habit of talking daily—though they’d indulged in frequent short text exchanges, and now that she thought about it, these had stuttered to a halt as well.

At first, Elizabeth had been busy with work (a potential new sponsor had fallen into a bit of a scandal), while at the same time, her lawyer had encountered a snag in the divorce proceedings. While Tom had tried to make Elizabeth’s refusal to seek counseling despite his multiple attempts to ‘save’ their marriage an issue—from the destruction he had wrought—no-fault divorce was still a thing, and it had gone nowhere. Well, aside from irking Elizabeth.

Yet, he argued he shouldn’t have to repay the money Elizabeth had invested in his quest to make partner at his law firm, claiming it had been a gift. It hadn’t. Elizabeth had no doubt it would fail as well, but the paperwork and back-and-forth communication had still eaten up a lot of her time and thoughts.

While Elizabeth hadn’t immediately realized the lack of communication between her and Claudia, she had noticed something was bothering her, sending her mood spiraling. She felt heavy, discontented, and unsettled, but couldn’t pinpoint why.

When she finally did, she fell speechless onto her sofa chair, having just risen to get a cup of eggnog from the fridge when it hit her—Claudia. She’d fished her phone out of her purse and checked their message thread. Indeed, they hadn’t really talked since Claudia had mentioned feeling better after her bout with a stomach bug.

Elizabeth sent a quick message, hoping whatever was going on wasn’t related to a serious health issue Claudia was trying to hide. She stared at the phone for a solid minute before rolling her eyes at herself before standing to get her drink. She’d just sat back down, about to take her first sip, when her phone beeped. Elizabeth smiled at the screen—leave it to Claudia to stop her from drinking eggnog, even without realizing it.

All good. No worries.

The brief message rang wrong. With a frown, Elizabeth asked if she could call her, and did so once Claudia acquiesced.

“Hi.” Claudia sounded breathless.

“Hey, stranger,” Elizabeth said. “Don’t tell me you’re working out.”

“Hmm? No, no. I was just… Never mind. How are you?”

Elizabeth clenched her hand. “I’m fine. What about you? You could have stayed home longer. You looked utterly exhausted, not that I’ve seen much of you over the last week.” Subtle, Liz. Real subtle.

Silence.

“You are OK, right?”

“Oh, yes, yes.”

“So, what’s going on? We haven’t talked in a while.” Elizabeth froze as it occurred to her that perhaps Claudia had intentionally avoided contacting her. Had she upset her?

“I know.” Claudia’s tone sounded stony, offering no elaboration.

Elizabeth’s eyebrows rose. “I’m sorry. I was insanely busy with Tom creating more trouble, and a sponsor who’s giving us a run for our money.” Her heart thrummed hard. What is going on?

“I thought divorces are pretty easy if one partner cheats.”

“They are, but Tom is…stubborn.”

“What’s still unclear to him? He needs to back off.”

Elizabeth choked back a laugh at Claudia’s incredulous tone and the sensation of tension ebbing. “A good question. I also thought things were moving forward, but sometimes people surprise you.”

“Doesn’t sound like a pleasant surprise.”

“It wasn’t.”

“I know this friendship business is new, and Tom remains a difficult topic, but I’d listen if you needed to vent. You don’t have to, obviously,” Claudia said.

“That’s sweet of you, thank you. But no worries. It’ll be over soon.”

“Good. That’s good.”

Elizabeth tilted her head. “Are you sure you’re OK?”

“Why do you ask?”

“You seem off.”

Claudia sighed. “It’s fine.”

“That sounds like fine spelled ‘on fire but I don’t want to talk about it.’”

Claudia chuckled. “A lot of letters for such a short word.”

“Well, what can I say, I have an extensive vocabulary.”

“I see.”

“So?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Does it relate to you being sick? You’re not in the hospital right now, are you?”

“What? No. Why would I be? I was at work earlier, even if we didn’t see each other, and—”

“Never mind. I’m sorry. I get…restless when routines are broken.”

“What routine broke for you? Because Tom is gone?”

“What? No. I mean…” Elizabeth took off her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Us. We didn’t talk. You didn’t come by my office.” How pathetic can you get?

“Oh.” Claudia exhaled harshly, falling silent.

“What’s going on?”

“I… I gotta go. I… I promised my mom I’d run an errand for her and I’m already late.”

Elizabeth checked her watch. “At seven in the evening? That’s a late errand.”

“Yeah, it’s for…”

“Don’t lie to me.” Elizabeth’s voice broke. “You’ve been so honest with everything, and I… I appreciate that.” More than I can say. She swallowed those words, but her mind still added them.

Silence.

“Claudia?”

“Hmm?”

“What’s going on?”

“You don’t want to know.”

“You realize what people imagine in such situations is always worse than the truth?”

“What situation?”

“You being withdrawn, trying to avoid me, lying, and now you’re all cryptic.” She tried to remain calm, but her heart once more drummed wildly in her ribcage, and she repressed the urge to rush to her car and check on Claudia in person, although she’d first need to access her personnel file to get her address, and that would likely break all sorts of rules.

“I don’t want to hurt you, and it—”

Elizabeth jumped out of her seat. “Are you back with Tom?”

“What? No! Of course not!”

Elizabeth released a stuttered breath, the relief making her sag back down almost bonelessly.

“I wouldn’t do that to you. Besides, I don’t want him back. I never did once I knew the truth.”

“I know. It’s just… Why are you like this?”

“Because I’m worried about your reaction, and it’s just… It will change things.”

“The only thing that would hurt me is if you were back with Tom, and change... I assume you mean our friendship?”

“Yes.”

“I promise I won’t get upset.”

“How? You have no idea what it’s about. What would you say if I told you I killed your mother?”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened. “Good riddance?”

“Be serious. This isn’t a joke.”

“The thought of you killing my mother kind of is. The fact you neither know her name nor address isn’t even relevant—it’s impossible.”

“How so?”

“You’re not capable of killing anyone,” Elizabeth said, almost surprised by the quiet conviction in her voice.

“Yes, yes, I’m not a killer, and I suppose the fact you think so bodes well for our friendship, even if you do like eggnog, but that wasn’t what I meant.”

“You’ve interrupted me.”

“How?”

“Not while talking. Drinking eggnog.” She picked up her glass and took a sip. She smacked her lips—not cold enough anymore.

“Ugh, stop, please.” Claudia sounded genuinely distressed.

“What? You can’t be that offended. You don’t even see or smell it.”

“Stop! I’m a very visual person, and I just can’t… I’m sorry.”

Elizabeth’s eyebrows furrowed, and she marched to the kitchen, dumping the eggnog into the sink before placing the cup in the dishwasher. “It’s gone.”

Claudia audibly gulped. “Thank you,” she croaked.

“No problem.” She decided not to say anything else on the topic as it seemed to stress Claudia out. But why? Aside from her general aversion to the beverage, this appeared to be over the top. All the talk about things changing between them, and how Elizabeth might be upset, yet Claudia wasn’t back with Tom…

Elizabeth supposed she’d been sick; and a stomach virus could take a lot out of you. Though there were also her strange food cravings and how tired Claudia had been recently. She halted, covering her mouth with one hand to muffle a gasp. Claudia was—

“I’m pregnant.”

Elizabeth sat back down.

“Yes, I just caught on, too.”

“I’m sorry.”

Elizabeth frowned. “For what?”

“Come on! It’s a lot, and I mean, it wasn’t planned, and the last thing I need right now is a child, but I’m keeping the baby.” She sounded defensive.

Did she think Elizabeth would ask her to… Surely not. “It never occurred to me you wouldn’t.”

“OK, good. I just… We talked about kids, and how… It never worked out for you, and here I am, pregnant with—”

“Tom’s baby.”

“Yes,” Claudia murmured. “Which is why I’m sorry.”

“Again, you apologize for mistakes that weren’t your own. And I’m not calling your child a mistake.”

“I know,” Claudia rasped, her voice rough.

“Are you crying?”

Claudia sniffed. “No.”

“You thought I’d be mad?”

“Obviously.”

Elizabeth sighed. “I suppose I’m mad, in a way. But it’s more abstract, and when it isn’t, my anger is directed at Tom. Again, he was my husband. You and I were nothing to each other, so—”

“Yes, but neither is true anymore,” Claudia whispered. “Right?”

“Correct, which is also why I’m not upset with you. I’m assuming you just found out, or you did so recently, and that’s why you slowed down our interactions?”

“Yes, but you could have come see me, too.” Her voice sounded petulant.

Elizabeth smiled ruefully. “True. Look, yes, it’s…hard, you being pregnant with Tom’s child, but not…” She looked at the ceiling. “I made peace with never having children. Tom was clear he didn’t want any, and I was fine with it.”

“But?”

“It still sucks. Like a sick, cosmic joke. Although again, it would be worse if you were who I feared.”

“The short, blonde bimbo with big tits and birthing hips.”

“I’ll never live that down, will I?”

“Nope.”

Elizabeth chuckled.

“What now?”

“I have no experience with pregnancy, but I’d suggest you see an OB/GYN, and—”

Claudia laughed. “No, no. I already went yesterday. They did a blood test to confirm since I’d clung to the hope my home tests were false positives. But no. I meant us.”

“Us? Why would anything change?”

“Because I’m pregnant with your soon-to-be ex-husband’s child.”

“Did you tell him yet?”

“No! I… I wanted to talk to you first.”

“What if he wants you back, to raise the child together? Your family would love that.”

Claudia groaned. “Don’t get me started. I’m in denial about my family, but as for Tom, I don’t care what he wants. He’s not an option, Elizabeth.”

Elizabeth inhaled sharply as she once again found herself drowning in relief, while something else whizzed through her at Claudia saying her name like that. Tom’s affair was putting her through some changes, but at least not all of them were terrible—quite the opposite. Knowing she’d worry endlessly if they didn’t clear the air, she blurted out, “How about you come by my place on Saturday?”

Silence.

“You can meet Raji and start your bribery.”

Claudia chuckled. “Sounds like a plan.”

They chatted for a bit longer, and after hanging up, Elizabeth felt like she’d waded through a powder keg, still wary it might blow up in her face. Sometimes she worried they were deluding themselves. Their history seemed to make conflict and strain a foregone conclusion, yet they’d decided to try to be friends—only for more drama to arise.

Now, Elizabeth was friends with the pregnant former mistress of her soon-to-be ex-husband, though she loathed to think of Claudia that way. Was the universe throwing stones in their path or simply adding another reason why their endeavor was doomed?

But who decided these things? Just because a situation tended to play out a certain way didn’t mean it always would. They both seemed to want the friendship, worried it might wither, and neither wished for a change. The only issue was: sometimes desire and choice weren’t enough. Would this be one of those times?

Elizabeth’s heart sank at the thought. She didn’t want to lose Claudia, but she also needed to be honest with herself—truly honest—about whether she was all right with these recent developments and what they would mean moving forward. If Claudia remained in her life, so would the baby. And possibly, Tom.

a plan and lacking patience

While Claudia’s apartment wasn’t a shoebox, today it felt like one, so she headed out to a nearby park. The sunny weather—neither too warm nor too cold—had drawn many people outside. Families chased after giggling children, playing ball; a few couples were more engrossed in each other than their surroundings, while joggers moved steadily along the trails.

Claudia sighed, breathing in the crisp, woodsy air as she settled onto a bench beneath an old, gnarled oak tree, watching the wind play with orange and yellow leaves. After a moment, two squirrels fighting over a piece of ice cream cone near a trash can caught her eye.

She chuckled and snapped a few pictures with her phone before sending one to Elizabeth with the message “Raji would settle this fight fast.” Slipping her phone back into her pocket, she exhaled, a heavy weight settling over her chest.

Elizabeth had canceled their plans for Claudia’s visit—Raji’s bribery included. Claudia had shrugged it off at first since Elizabeth had promised a raincheck, but she had been markedly absent at work. Tilda had eventually informed her Elizabeth was working from home. Since the raincheck promise, Claudia hadn’t heard a word from Elizabeth, and they were once more heading toward the weekend.

It wasn’t so much that Claudia expected them to communicate daily, but Elizabeth had been the one talking about routines being broken, and yet… Nothing. The squirrel image seemed benign enough, and surely something so harmless, so unrelated to the drama between them, should warrant a reply.

But her phone remained silent.

Claudia had told no one else about the pregnancy, well, except Sammy, but she’d told her friend she didn’t want to talk about it yet. Sammy had replied with a pouting emoji but had respected Claudia’s wish. At least for now. Eventually, Sammy would have more questions, if only to make sure Claudia was okay. Her friend had a lot on her plate currently, and so Claudia hoped her call to finagle out the state of everything would take longer to arrive. Right now, she preferred not talking about it, especially since everything seemed to have turned to cow manure.

The next morning during breakfast, Claudia contemplated asking Elizabeth if she was doing all right. She usually replied right away, and while it was possible Elizabeth had seen the message yesterday, gotten distracted, and forgotten, it seemed unlikely with everything else going on. When Claudia finally decided to bite the bullet and act like a grownup, she noticed that at some point, Elizabeth had reacted with a “ha ha” emoji to her message. With a sigh, she closed their thread and went to work.

Her patrons distracted her somewhat from the conundrum of being pregnant by Elizabeth’s (ex)husband, though she questioned the value of said distraction while dealing with one who micromanaged everything Claudia was doing.

“Are you sure this is the right form? What if the lawyer doesn’t agree? I read online that…” And on and on Millie went, much to Claudia’s utter consternation.

After lunch, which had been a nice break, but still not the same without Elizabeth in the office, she flung her empty sandwich wrapper into the trash and rose. She needed answers, but the problem was, cornering someone who avoided you rarely had a happy ending. So, patience. It meant waiting, and Claudia sucked at that.

Sammy sometimes said she had zero chill. Probably true, but how on earth would Claudia even go about changing it? She felt she was being exceptionally patient, even if some of it came from a reservoir called fear. Beggars can’t be choosers, after all.

She had to have been deluding herself into believing she and Elizabeth could establish a friendship. How?

The next day, still with no word from Elizabeth, Claudia texted her again, asking how she was doing.

Fine. You?

Claudia released a shuddered breath. At least she’d got a quick response, and words, even, not emojis.

All right. What have you been up to this week?

Busy with work. The usual.

“No, it’s not the usual,” Claudia muttered into the room.

When will you be back in the office? Claudia typed after a moment of pause. What else could she say, especially since Elizabeth shaped up to be a total chatterbox right now. Claudia rolled her eyes.

Soon. Got to take care of something first.

That was it. Claudia had contemplated writing something else, but she got this ‘shut up’ vibe. Not that Elizabeth would say that to her—she didn’t seem the type—but Claudia just got the feeling Elizabeth would prefer to stop talking to her. So, Claudia obliged. If she were wrong, Elizabeth would write again or say something.

On the other hand, Claudia wasn’t saying anything either. What if Elizabeth assumed she was the one who didn’t want to interact and was just accommodating Claudia, also expecting her to speak up if something was wrong? But Claudia had sent the squirrel picture. That had to count as reaching out, surely. Ugh, why were human interactions so difficult? Maybe she should get a cat, too. They had to be easier. Of course, the idea of cleaning a litter box or wiping up vomit, getting sneezed at, and washing cat snot off her face didn’t appeal to her either (Sammy’s tales of woe).

She tried to distract herself with research into one of her patrons’ issues, but everything relating to Helping Hands inevitably turned her thoughts to Elizabeth (as if the woman didn’t already take up enough of her mental real estate), and so she shucked it all off and instead drowned herself in true crime mysteries. She’d been behind anyway, thanks to spending so much time with…

And there she went again, worse, her mind losing itself in memories of an easier time. Elizabeth’s laughter as they’d played cards in her office one evening, her eyes sparkling with warmth. “Two sets of three,” Elizabeth had said, her voice patient as she explained the rules. “Don’t worry, you’ll get it. Fortunes shift quickly in this game.”

Fortunes hadn’t shifted, and Elizabeth had thrashed Claudia both in points and phases. She’d gotten stuck forever trying to complete her run of nine, always missing a card in the middle. An infuriating game, though she had enjoyed watching Elizabeth win—her eyes aglow, cheeks flushed, and a huge smile on her face. Claudia’s heart had ached, and she’d longed for things she would never have—things that felt forever out of reach.

Now, the fortunes had shifted—to a place Claudia hated with a passion. She wanted their easy-going, warm relationship back instead of feeling trapped in this aggravating limbo where she seemed to hang in midair. Her sole focus on Elizabeth made her want to scream.

Communication, they said. Right? Just talk. Be an adult (she’d tried that!). Ask her what the fuck was going on—not in those words, obviously. Too aggressive, which wouldn’t help her case. But what was her case, anyway? That she was pregnant? She couldn’t change that, and she’d never blame her child. Not that she thought Elizabeth would expect her to.

One of Claudia’s biggest issues was a combination of hyper-focus and lack of patience. Together, they’d gotten her into more trouble than she cared to admit or contemplate. If something bothered her, really distressed her, it clung to her like tar. She could hardly think of anything else. At times, this fixation created the feeling she’d jump out of her skin if she didn’t solve it right then and there.

So, after a weekend spent lost in thought and a workweek starting the same way the previous one had ended—with Elizabeth still working from home—Claudia had had enough. She called her that evening.

“Hi,” Elizabeth answered the phone.

Claudia closed her eyes. “Hi.”

Silence.

“Listen, I was wondering if we could talk?”

“Go ahead,” Elizabeth said.

“I’d rather do it in person. Could we meet?” Claudia wanted to see Elizabeth when they were having this discussion, not just hear her.

“All right. I’m free on Saturday. Where do you want to meet?”

“Would you mind coming here, to my place, I mean?” Claudia flicked her fingers against her thumb.

“OK, sure. What time?”

“Maybe four?”

“Sounds good. Text me your address. I’ll see you then. Have a good night. Bye.”

“Will do. Thanks, you do, too. Bye.” Didn’t Elizabeth have her address?

After she’d hung up, Claudia wanted to shout, but instead she texted Elizabeth her address, to which she received a thumbs-up emoji. She sighed.

Their interactions were worse and more stilted than they’d been when they’d first met. How was that even possible? Elizabeth had said she was fine with her pregnancy, but she had to have lied because what else could have changed? Claudia almost didn’t want to have the conversation she’d just set up.

frying pans and fire

Elizabeth hadn’t lied to Claudia, but it felt like she had. She had contemplated the bombshell revelation more than she’d intended and enjoyed, but her mind wouldn’t stop circling—it refused to refrain from inundating her with images of the future—a time that should be free of Tom yet wasn’t.

She also had spoken the truth when she’d told Claudia she was fine with not having children. At least she’d thought so. It was a bit like how her grandfather, during the last several years of his life, hadn’t driven anywhere. Instead, their driver had, and if she hadn’t been available, a family member would chauffeur him. He’d been perfectly fine with the arrangement and had never even thought about driving his own car until the doctor had told him because of his illness, he was no longer fit to drive. Suddenly, it was the end of the world, and he’d raged and complained. He’d been heartbroken.

Elizabeth finally understood, and to her dismay, she was him. It was one thing to have resigned herself to a child-free life, especially since the man she’d fallen for and married hadn’t wanted kids. But now, dealing with him cheating and impregnating his… It made everything more complicated—and so much worse.

If she’d never hired Claudia, never gotten to know her, if she’d never befriended her, she’d now be able to just hate her guts. To resent her. To hate Tom even more. That way, she could work through her loss and let it go. But no, now, she found herself in a torrent of quicksand—torn between her affection for Claudia, the desire to continue their friendship, and the unexpected and still smarting loss of her marriage, combined with the fury, devastation, and resentment of facing a world where Claudia carried Tom’s child.

She hadn’t spoken to anyone about her dilemma but was seriously considering seeking a therapist. Kat, as much as she loved her and didn’t mind her caustic tongue and cutting remarks that always hit the crux of any issue, wouldn’t help here. Elizabeth knew what she wanted—a continued exploration of the unforeseen, easy-going friendship with Claudia, and more importantly, Tom out of her life forever. But that was no longer possible.

She worried that if Claudia had a little boy, he’d be the spitting image of Tom. In such a scenario, even if Tom was an absent (paying) father, which Elizabeth expected, staying in Claudia’s life would mean seeing Tom—or at least his ghost—every time she looked at the boy. Even if the child wasn’t a boy, she’d still know it was Tom’s. What if she ended up resenting the child? She felt terrible for even having these thoughts, and it made it painfully clear their friendship might be unsustainable, yet she didn’t want that. So, her solution? Sticking her head in the sand.

How could she explain this to Claudia, especially after the reassurances she’d given her during their last phone call? She knew Claudia would be hurt by her sudden silence, and likely see through the canceled visit, not to mention the working-from-home spiel she currently employed because she couldn’t face Claudia. Elizabeth couldn’t even make herself pick up the phone. What would she even say?

‘Oh, I’m sorry. I realized I might not be able to continue our friendship because I fear that whenever I’ll look at your child, I’ll see my cheating ex-husband? And what do we do with work at this point?’ She hated it. She hated not talking to Claudia, and she missed their interactions. But all she had to offer was hurt, so silence was the better option.

Naturally, right when she’d been at one of her lowest points, Claudia had called and asked to talk. In the history of time, had such a request ever ended happily? Had cave men dreaded their women telling them that they ‘needed to talk?’ She’d obviously agreed, and they’d set up to meet at Claudia’s place on Saturday.

Sadly, it wouldn’t be one of their relaxed after-work get-togethers where they hung out eating takeout while watching Kat’s show. No, this meeting would likely end it all. The very thought left a painful emptiness in Elizabeth’s chest. How had she grown attached to someone so quickly—someone so ill-fated to remain in her life?

By Saturday, she’d spent the morning restless and out of sorts, halting her aimless pacing by doing yoga for an hour. It helped, and after a quick shower, it was time to head to Claudia’s. Once there, she steeled herself before pressing the button next to Claudia’s name.

The buzzer rang, and she went inside. Claudia, with her hands stuffed into her pants pockets, waited for her at the door when Elizabeth rounded up the stairs.

“Hey.” Claudia rocked on her socked feet. “Come on in. I made us tea.”

“Hello.” Elizabeth followed her inside, immediately inundated with the scent of lilies. She closed her eyes before shaking her head, annoyed this fragrance filled her with longing—how ridiculous.

They made small talk and sipped their tea, seated on Claudia’s couch until Elizabeth couldn’t take it anymore. “What’s this about?”

Claudia grimaced and placed her cup on the coffee table. She sighed. “I just… Since I told you I’m pregnant, things have been different.”

Elizabeth remained silent, unsure of what to say. Claudia was right, but she didn’t know how she could explain it without sounding like the horrible person she felt she was. It had been bad enough to admit her shortcoming to herself, but to share it with Claudia?

“I don’t get it. I mean, I understand it’s different, me being pregnant with Tom’s baby, compared to having had an affair with him. But just… What you said when we were talking first, and… What changed?”

Elizabeth sighed. She knew she’d have to explain, and part of her wanted to, but a stronger part longed to run away and never even glance at it. If only she could be the bigger person, if only she could change how she felt. “I’ve thought about it some more, or rather, it wouldn’t leave me alone.”

“My pregnancy?”

Elizabeth nodded. “Yes, but it’s more than that. It’s the future this will bring along.”

“Because you don’t want kids.” Claudia nodded.

Elizabeth frowned. “No. Yes, I mean.” She clenched her jaw. “The child wouldn’t be mine.”

“Of course not. I didn’t mean to—”

Elizabeth raised her hand, and Claudia fell silent. Why were they talking about it like that? “It will be Tom’s child.”

Claudia sat straighter. “It’s my child. Tom doesn’t matter.”

Elizabeth smiled softly, wondering if their age difference was showing or if it related more to Claudia’s innate stubbornness. “It matters to me.”

“Oh.” Claudia’s entire posture drooped. “I understand.”

“I doubt it.” Elizabeth reached, grasping Claudia’s hand.

Claudia’s eyes widened as she stared at their intertwined fingers.

“I’m not mad at you, and I still want to see where this friendship business leads us, but I don’t know how it can work when…when it will tie you to Tom forever. I want him out of my life.” She squeezed Claudia’s hand.

Claudia blinked furiously, catching Elizabeth’s solemn gaze. “I want that, too.”

“The child will make it impossible.”

“How? I doubt he’ll want shared custody, or let’s be real, there’s no way he’ll want anything to do with my child.” She scoffed. “Given how adamant he was about never wanting children, even though we were never serious.”

Elizabeth bristled, wanting to protest before she slumped back against her seat. “Yes, you’re right.”

“Doesn’t matter. I want nothing from him.”

“Oh, he needs to pay.”

“I’m not into revenge, and—”

“Child support, Claudia.” Elizabeth’s eyes twinkled with laughter.

“Oh, right. Yes. But back to us. You want the friendship, but you can’t do it because my baby will remind you of Tom.”

Elizabeth stilled, opening and closing her mouth, but no sound left her lips.

“At least I’m assuming that’s what you really meant.”

Elizabeth flushed. “I don’t… It’s just…”

“I get it.” Claudia worried her lower lip, drawing Elizabeth’s gaze. “I just don’t know how to fix that.”

“There’s no fixing it. That’s the problem.”

Claudia dropped her head, nodding slightly. She cleared her throat. “All right. I… I just… Do you want me to quit?”

Elizabeth sat frozen. This wasn’t going according to plan. “No. We’ll just have to go back to being professional.” Because that had worked out so well the first time. Yet, there was no way she’d let Claudia quit—nor could she fire her again, not after everything.

“Good. I’d have hated losing my job.”

Elizabeth smiled, but it was brittle and didn’t reach her eyes.

“If it changes, like, if you feel you can or want to be around me again, don’t think you can’t let me know.”

Elizabeth canted her head.

“Don’t let pride stand in the way or assume I’d reject you. I’m here, and…I still want our friendship, too, and that won’t change. But the situation is much easier for me.”

Elizabeth blinked away moisture and nodded, unable to find her voice.

“OK, good.” Claudia offered Elizabeth one of the saddest smiles she’d ever witnessed, or perhaps it seemed that way because she felt just as gutted.

~ ~ ~

Elizabeth slammed her car door shut and trod into the house, glad to see the end of this workweek. She’d spent the time since the second end of her…relationship with Claudia in a daze. Yes, she’d been a coward and still had done a lot of her work from home, and for the rest, she’d scheduled meetings and lunches with sponsors.

She couldn’t understand why this upset her so much. They hadn’t even shared a long friendship, yet her chest felt hollow and constricted. How odd that this change rattled her almost more than the divorce—in a different way, but still. At least the divorce was supposed to be finalized by the end of January.

She’d distracted herself with work and had shot a few text messages back and forth with Kat, assuring her friend she was doing all right. She still hadn’t mentioned Claudia’s pregnancy or their falling out. Although she supposed you couldn’t call it a falling out, more like Elizabeth’s inability to separate Tom from Claudia.

On the other hand, it wasn’t as if she could erase the years of her life with Tom. Even so, it seemed like too much, and her head pounded at the mere thought. She knew it would come between them eventually, and the better, kinder choice was to rip them out by the roots now.

Elizabeth groaned when her phone rang just as she set her purse on the table. After dinner with the most obnoxious (but ridiculously rich) sponsor, and after a draining week, her thoughts still revolving far too much around Claudia, the last thing she wanted was to deal with anyone. All she wanted was a cup of tea and to curl up on the couch with Raji. Elizabeth reached for her phone and felt the urge to throw it against the wall when, of all people, her mother’s name appeared on the screen.

She stabbed the green button. “Hello, Mother.”

“Where are you?”

“At home?”

“I see. And why aren’t you at the airport to pick me up?”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened, and she gripped the back of the couch to keep from crashing to the floor. Good Lord, she’d forgotten—repressed—her mother’s upcoming visit. Seven days of hell, after she’d just been through a week of it, albeit for different, self-inflicted reasons. “I just got back from…”

“Work? You mean that charity of yours? It hardly qualifies as work.” Mary sighed. “I suppose I shall take a taxi, given it’ll take you forever to get here. Do you think you’ll manage to drive me to the airport next Saturday?”

“Yes, Mother. Of course. I’m so sorry.”

“Yes, yes. You always are.” She hung up without saying goodbye.

Elizabeth released a string of curses, startling Raji, who’d been rubbing against her legs. “Sorry, boy,” she mumbled and petted his head. “We’re about to be invaded.”

Raji meowed and butted his head against Elizabeth’s palm.

“Guess I better get started.” With that, she set out to prepare for her mother. Too bad she couldn’t knock herself unconscious for the week as well.

with hope and surprises

For the first time, Claudia delighted in her exhaustion since it meant she fell into bed early and didn’t spend as much time feeling sorry for herself while also low-key cursing out Elizabeth for being… whatever she was being. Silly, really. No. She was hurt, and she had every right to be. Claudia couldn’t imagine how she’d feel in Elizabeth’s shoes or how she’d react. But she was hurt, too, and if she couldn’t throw a pity party in her own head, where could she?

She had no issues at work apart from missing the little after-hours meetings with Elizabeth. Yet not only did they hardly see each other at the office (if Elizabeth came in at all), but neither of them stayed late. Claudia waited—she didn’t leave at five on the dot on the days she noticed Elizabeth on site—but by the time she ventured into the hallway, Elizabeth’s office always stood dark.

Her family had also been relatively quiet and peaceful, which she almost resented as some drama might have helped distract from her current abysmal headspace.

On Thursday evening, she had just gotten out of the shower and wanted to curl up on the couch when her doorbell rang. Claudia frowned. While she was off work the next day, she’d made no plans to see anyone, nor had she ordered anything. She rose and padded to the door. Looking through the door viewer, she froze before yanking the door open. “Sammy?”

“Surprise!” her best friend called, dropping her duffle to the floor and rushing forward to engulf Claudia in a crushing, long-lasting hug.

Claudia smiled while tears sprung to her eyes, and she clutched Sammy closer. “What are you doing here?” she murmured into Sammy’s neck.

Sammy pulled back and inspected Claudia’s face. “Cheering you up, it seems.”

A wry chuckle left Claudia’s lips. “I need that, all right.”

“Yeah, your blotchy face and red eyes, plus the wounded, puppy-dog expression leave no doubt.”

“Hey! Not everyone can always be as… put together as you.” Claudia eyed Sammy, noting her curvy frame, tan skin, brown curly hair, and dark eyes. Claudia liked to describe Sammy’s mouth as generous, though Sammy always said she had a big mouth, both literally and figuratively. What Claudia resented was Sammy’s elegant, yet understated style.

She’d never understand—let alone replicate—Sammy’s ability to carry herself with such confidence and grace. She supposed Sammy’s friendly, almost sunny public demeanor and approachability made her profession in politics a perfect match. Claudia, more often than not, resembled a prickly, clumsy, unkempt cactus. Most definitely when she was moping.

Sammy laughed. “Why, thank you! I learned the hard way.”

“Indeed.” Claudia bit her lip. Damn it. She’d been trying to banish the word from her vocabulary.

“Since we don’t need to overcome any denials, how about we order some food and chat? I got a million questions, and some interesting tidbits to share.”

Claudia’s eyes lit up.

“Uh uh, first things first. You order takeout while I take a quick shower. Then we discuss your little conundrum, and as a reward, I spill my news. How does that sound?”

“Like a hard bargain.”

Sammy grinned. “Perfect. I don’t care what you order, but no pizza. I just had one earlier this week.”

“And you can’t have pizza twice a week?”

“Sure, but I don’t want to.” With that, and after pressing a quick kiss on Claudia’s cheek, Sammy disappeared inside Claudia’s bathroom.

“You’re staying the night, right?” Claudia called after her.

Sammy’s head poked out of the bathroom door. “I’m staying the entire weekend.” She waggled her eyebrows before vanishing once more behind the door.

“Nutter,” Claudia mumbled and pulled out her phone to browse food delivery options.

An hour later, they sat on the couch eating Chinese takeout while an episode of Snapped played low in the background. At least Sammy didn’t mind true crime. Claudia sighed.

“So, are you ready to talk now?”

“Is that why you came by? I thought you were insanely busy.”

“I am, but I also desperately needed a break, and thought, why not? Two birds, one stone.”

Claudia grimaced.

“What?”

“Nothing. I don’t like the idiom.”

Sammy’s eyebrows rose. “All right. But seriously. How are you holding up? I know the pregnancy came as a shock, but—”

Claudia blurted out, “Elizabeth broke up with me.”

Silence.

Sammy blinked furiously. “You need to back up and explain. I didn’t realize you guys were dating.”

“No, no.” Claudia sighed. “We were just friends, but, well, the pregnancy kinda screwed us over.”

“That sucks. I’m sorry. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t know.” Claudia’s shoulders slumped.

“I wouldn’t have teased you or anything.”

“Yeah. I was just… I wasn’t ready for the discussion. It’s a lot to process.”

“I can imagine, especially when you want to date the wife of your baby daddy.”

Claudia groaned. This was one reason she hadn’t spoken to Sammy about it for real. Her humor, even when not teasing, didn’t always work for Claudia.

“I told you we were just friends.”

“Right, that’s why you started the conversation with, ‘Elizabeth broke up with me.’”

Claudia waved her off. “Figure of speech, and you were the one who started the conversation.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever talked about any of my platonic friendships ending like that. Being dumped.”

Claudia sighed heavily. “All right, so I may or may not have gotten a bit too emotionally attached to Elizabeth, and currently, even though we weren’t dating, it still feels like I was dumped.”

Sammy shuffled closer and pulled her into an embrace, kissing the crown of Claudia’s hair. “I’m sorry, Claud. That must be awful.” She squeezed her before letting go. “What are you going to do?”

“Nothing. Hoping she’ll change her mind.”

“About what, exactly? You never said why things ended.”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“The pregnancy.”

“Duh. She says she wants Tom out of her life, and with the baby… She’ll always see Tom or be reminded of him.”

Sammy snorted. “Good luck.”

“What do you mean?”

“She was married to him for how long?”

“Five years, together for seven.”

“Look, I get it. At the height of a break-up, a divorce, you usually hate your ex’s guts and just want them to fall off the face of the earth. And for a while, maybe you need that. But they were still a part of your life, and to a degree, they shaped or influenced who you are.”

“Depending on how long the relationship lasted, no?” Claudia said.

“Of course, but I was talking about long-term relationships. You can’t forget something just because you want to.”

“Ha! If only. You could make a lot of money if you ever figured out how that works.”

“My point is, what she says now comes from a place of pain.”

“She has every right to her feelings. She’d have wanted children if it ever worked out, and it didn’t. Tom never wanted kids. So, for me to be pregnant by Tom is…”

“Harsh. Totally. Again, I’m not minimizing her feelings, and I’m not even saying her reaction is unreasonable or unfair. Considering everything that has happened between you, it’s a wonder you were ever able to strike up some semblance of a friendship.”

“It was more than that, Sam.” Claudia grabbed a pillow and pulled it close to her chest. “We connected on a level… I’ve not experienced, not so fast or so deep.”

“Ow, thank you,” Sammy deadpanned.

“You know what I mean. Present company excluded. But you’re different, anyway. I’ve known you forever, and we have a very different foundation. Elizabeth and I should never have gotten so close given the circumstances, but it was so effortless.” She pulled at a loose string on the pillowcase.

“Wow.”

Claudia raised her head. “What?”

“You’re really gone on her.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Claudia sighed. “Not only is Elizabeth straight, but she also wants nothing to do with me anymore.”

“Right now.”

“What?“ Claudia’s brows furrowed. „How can you be straight right now?”

“One track mind, huh?”

Claudia ducked her head.

“I meant she doesn’t want you around right now. I’m sure with some time, she’ll change her tune. Once her reason catches up with her emotions.”

“You think so?” Claudia hated how hopeful her voice sounded. But she’d had zero hope before Sammy, and now she latched on to the idea like Kate Winslet’s character did to that piece of wood floating in the North Atlantic Ocean.

“Yeah. I’m sure. Based on what you said about her, she’s not someone guided by emotions, well, aside from in extreme situation, which this is.”

“She isn’t.”

“There you go.”

“I hope you’re right. I know we’ll never be more than friends, and that’s fine. I just want her in my life.”

Sammy offered her a soft smile. “She’s a lucky woman.”

Claudia flushed. “Anyway, you wanted to tell me some news?”

“Oh, right.” Sammy launched into a tale that resulted in Claudia listening with wide eyes before clutching her stomach laughing.

She was so lucky to have Sammy in her life.

brimstone and hellfire

Elizabeth hated her life. First, she’d lost her marriage, then Claudia, who funnily enough (not really) she’d have met even without her marriage dissolving. Absent this weight, they could have had such an easy-going friendship. Although she didn’t know if it would have even happened, considering the barrier Elizabeth tended to erect between herself and her employees.

And now, not a week later, her mother showed up for the visit from hell.

Even if Tom hadn’t told Mary about the divorce—Elizabeth still didn’t understand why he’d done so—she’d have sniffed out the truth and not hidden her disappointment. Now at least, it all lay bare between them.

Two days into her visit, her mother returned to the topic at hand, the one Elizabeth wanted to lock up and throw away the key.

They were sitting together in the living room, Elizabeth reading another Gamache novel while her mother leafed through a magazine. Mary sighed, a sound encompassing both her frustration with her daughter and the smugness of having been right. Her mother possessed an extensive repertoire of sighs, each one expressing a different emotion, and Elizabeth knew them by heart.

“I’m assuming he left you for a younger woman? Tom wasn’t clear on the reasons behind your split.” The ‘I told you so’ hung heavy and cloying between them.

“He didn’t.” Not a lie. “I filed for divorce.”

Mary’s eyes widened almost comically. “Why on earth would you do that? Do you really think you’ll find another man?”

Elizabeth bit her lower lip.

“Stop it. It’s a terrible habit,” Mary chided.

Elizabeth contemplated that her mother and Lauren, Elizabeth’s canasta friend, might get along splendidly. Her comment about Elizabeth being sent out on pasture still stung. Perhaps she should take her mother to one of their game nights. The most recent one had been quite peaceful, no snark from Lauren. Elizabeth had wondered for a moment if Lauren had been sick.

On the other hand, should you invite the Devil to team up with Baphomet? She chuckled.

“This isn’t funny!”

It kind of is. Elizabeth schooled her features. “Of course not, Mother.”

“You are forty-six years old! Now you’ve added divorced to the list.” Mary pursed her lips. “At least you have money. Although many men are intimidated by that or would only be interested in your money.”

“How charming,” Elizabeth drawled. “Has it ever occurred to you that I may not want to be with another man?”

“What? Are you gay now?”

Elizabeth started. “People don’t just ‘turn’ gay, and it’s not the only orientation different from heterosexuality.”

Claudia popped into her head, and of course she’d be smiling. Despite being somewhat exasperated about her mind’s refusal to cede the mental space Claudia now occupied, the image of a grinning Claudia still offered a strange sort of solace.

Mary waved her off. “That’s hardly the point.”

“I don’t know, Mother. My focus isn’t on sex or another relationship. Tom and I… The divorce isn’t even finalized yet, and—”

“Then take him back!”

“What?”

“Call him! Right now. Hopefully, he will come back. You know how prideful men are. Or wait, I should call him, and we can all go out to dinner one evening.”

“No! Don’t you dare! I won’t ask him to come back. I wanted the divorce. Why would I change my mind now?” A stabbing pain bloomed behind her temple. She had just wanted to relax. The confrontation was near the top of her list of things she didn’t want to do, right below a root canal

“Because you’ve seen the errors of your ways!”

“It’s over, Mother. Just let it go.”

“Let it go and watch my only child ruin her life? If you at least had some kind of late-in-life sexual awakening and realized you’re gay. But this? Why would you leave your husband?”

Elizabeth’s mouth opened, then closed.

“What is it now?”

“I didn’t realize you were so progressive.”

Mary scoffed. “You live across the ocean from me. It’s not as if you’re likely to make a scene in front of my friends.”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes.

“These days, they pronounce you all kinds of nasty names for not accepting whatever new lifestyle people want to live. Obviously, I’d prefer certain attributes in your potential partner, but in the end, I don’t care.”

“Obviously.” Why did her mother still treat her like a wayward teenager?

“I’d have welcomed a rich man your age or a bit older, but I didn’t cause a scene when you married Tom.”

That was news to Elizabeth, though she supposed she hadn’t, at least not in public. Mary was too British for that. Still, she recalled her scathing and cutting remarks.

“If you were to find a suitable woman, who am I to judge?”

Who indeed. However, “judgmental” was her mother’s middle name for a reason, so Elizabeth neither understood this newfound “tolerance” nor could she fathom its origin. Or purpose, really.

“The point is, I don’t want you to die alone,” Mary’s voice softened.

“Are there any other ways?”

Mary glared at her. “Don’t be so flippant. It doesn’t suit you.”

Elizabeth sighed. It would be a long, horrible week, and she had to watch out, so her mother wouldn’t send Tom a message behind her back. The last thing she needed was Tom joining the week’s festivities.

Wednesday saddled her with a terrible migraine attack, and to her utter bewilderment, her mother not only seemed concerned, but she brought her cold compresses and a peppermint tea with honey to her bedside.

Mary stroked her hair. “I worry about you, Lizzie,” she whispered.

Elizabeth smiled weakly, grasping her mother’s hand. “I know,” she croaked. And in some ways, she did. Their relationship had always been fraught, but her mother loved her in her own way. They were just incredibly different, and Elizabeth had been her nan’s girl, and perhaps this had also created a rift between them.

Still, you’d think a mother would stand above such petty jealousies and instead want whatever was best for her child, like Claudia surely would. Tears welled and her eyelids fluttered shut.

“Rest, darling. You’ll feel better tomorrow.” Mary stroked her cheek before rising and tiptoeing out of the room. She closed the door softly, almost silently.

Elizabeth buried her face in her pillow and cried. She hated what her life had become, and she hated that the moments when her mother cared, when she showed love, filled her with the desire for more—to repair their relationship, to have a mother whose actions expressed affection more often than judgment. Then she got angry because, at forty-six, she should be beyond this.

The rest of her mother’s stay wasn’t as awful as the start, but it wouldn’t have been her mother without a few parting shots toward her age and her future as a lonely, old cat lady. She should be so lucky. Elizabeth considered it a societal error to equate being alone with being lonely, and sometimes she thought it wouldn’t be the worst in the world to remain by herself. Besides, being without a partner didn’t mean you were alone. People had friends. There was Kat, even if she lived far away. And well, there had been Claudia.

Whenever Elizabeth thought of her—and she refused to count how often she did—a heaviness fell over her and she wished she could reach out. Oh, she knew she could. Claudia would welcome her, so she’d said at least, and given Claudia’s earnest nature, Elizabeth had little doubt. But what would she say? That the week with her mother had fixed her issues?

And what if she went back, and they reestablished their friendship but once the baby was here, she realized she couldn’t do it after all? How awful would that be? She refused to flip-flop—either she was in or out. Claudia deserved more than a fair-weather friend, and Elizabeth didn’t trust herself to be that. Missing Claudia seemed like a weak reason for reconnecting.

Sunday evening, Kat’s phone call interrupted her moping.

“Turn on the camera,” Kat said shortly into the conversation.

“What? Why?”

“I want to see your face.”

Elizabeth chuckled but obliged and turned on the camera, smiling at the sight of Kat with her red hair in a ponytail and her glasses hanging too low on her nose. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Kat shook her head.

“What is it?”

“You look dreadful.”

Elizabeth’s eyebrows rose. “Wow. That’s what I needed to hear to round off the week. Thanks.”

“No, no. You’re still gorgeous, as always. But you look sad. Defeated.”

Elizabeth flushed. “Well, I told you my mother was here until yesterday. For a week. So…”

“Yes, but I don’t know. Your mother usually stresses you or makes you angry. She doesn’t make you sad.”

“Hmm, depends.” This time, there were some definite moments of sadness.

“Oh, what happened? Are you all right?”

Elizabeth cleared her throat. “Nothing major. Just moments where she showed more care than usual, and it messed with my head. It wouldn’t have hit me so hard without…” Should she go there? Then again, they told each other everything.“Claudia is pregnant with Tom’s baby.”

“What? Fucking hell. And now?”

Elizabeth shrugged. “I thought we could keep being friends, but… It hit me how it will always tie me to Tom, and right now, I can’t. I can’t deal with it.”

Kat frowned. “Wait, your issue is that Claudia’s pregnancy ties you to Tom? I’m not sure I follow.”

“Well, if we keep hanging out, I will see the baby, and I’ll always know who the father is. What if it’s a boy and he looks just like Tom?”

“OK, but don’t you already associate her with Tom? She will always be the reason your marriage ended.”

“Tom is the reason my marriage ended,” Elizabeth pointed out, a steely tone creeping into her voice.

“Right. And Tom is your ex, or soon-to-be ex-husband.”

“Yes. And?”

“So why would you need Claudia or her child to remind you of him? You spent seven years at his side, shared your life. Aren’t you connected to him in some way forever? Sure, time will help and make it easier. We don’t have perfect recall and all. Hell, I usually don’t remember what I had for breakfast the day before.”

Elizabeth laughed. “You have a point.”

“I’d have thought it was more about you wanting kids and Tom didn’t, and now his mistress is pregnant.”

“Don’t call her that!”

Kat chuckled, shaking her head. “I swear, you’re weirdly attached to this woman. If I didn’t know any better…”

Elizabeth waved her off and sighed. “Well, not anymore.”

“Right. Because no contact automatically erases her from your thoughts.”

Elizabeth ducked her head. She hated Kat’s ability to cut to the chase and see right through her bullshit. “Indeed.”

“So, who are you punishing right now?”

“Huh?”

“Do you miss her?”

“Obviously. But didn’t you say time will make things easier?”

“Oh, yes. No contact is a good way to get someone out of your system. I’m a big advocate, but I’m questioning your motivations. Don’t rob yourself of a potentially great friendship because you’re overly emotional.”

Elizabeth released a soft laugh. “I’m not sure I’ve ever been called that.”

“True, but you are now. I get it. A lot has happened in a short amount of time. Life-changing stuff. Then your mother’s visit, which didn’t help.”

Elizabeth scoffed. “One way of putting it.”

“See? It’s natural to feel overwhelmed, and maybe you’d be better off without Claudia in your life, but… See!”

“What?”

“Your face when I said this. You grimaced at the idea of not having her in your life. You really like her.”

Elizabeth straightened. “I didn’t.”

“You sure did.”

“I just miss her, and of course I like her. It would be so much easier if I didn’t.”

“I know, but I think your logic is flawed right now. Unless it’s all about you never having kids…”

Elizabeth sighed. “It crossed my mind. I’m not thrilled about it. It’s a double punch, you know? But I also started to wonder if it was, or is, more… I was fine with not having children, but Claudia’s pregnancy… I felt some kind of way. Like why her and not me, even though I had made peace with never having children. How crazy is this?”

Kat hummed.

“What now?”

“No, I’m just agreeing.”

“So you think I overreacted?”

“Perhaps. I’d hate for you to lose out on an important…relationship because of an emotional overload.”

Elizabeth hadn’t considered she might be suffering from an emotional overload, but Kat had a point. She had been under a lot of stress, and the easiest solution was to blame Claudia and the pregnancy. It offered a clear-cut solution and didn’t leave her with any confusion.

Well, if she didn’t count the vexation of missing Claudia, of longing to hear her voice. Her laughter. What was happening to her?

In the end, she didn’t want to be pregnant, and since she didn’t blame Claudia for the affair, why would she cut her out of her life because she was pregnant? Kat was right, she couldn’t fully erase Tom from her life, and if she were honest, she rarely even thought of Tom anymore when she interacted with Claudia. Perhaps she needed to reevaluate her stance, as she seemed to have acted rashly. Could she get Claudia back?

between trepidation and hope

Claudia slumped onto the couch with two overfilling laundry baskets in front of her. She grimaced at the stack of clothes she had to fold and put away. The tedious and never-ending task gave her way too much time to think. Folding clothes while watching a show used to be a decent distraction, but it only worked when her mood cooperated. And right now, not so much. She sat in the suffocating silence of her empty apartment and stared at the conglomeration of shirts, pants, and socks in front of her.

Claudia still had moments when she struggled with how well Elizabeth seemed to have taken her confession at first. The contrast to the change, to her calling off their friendship—rattled her. The memory left her with a mixture of pain and rage. Rage at herself and Tom; a little at Elizabeth, too, but all too often guilt rose about that part of her anger, which didn’t improve her overall disposition.

She wished none of it had ever happened. Maybe then, she could have met Elizabeth through her job, and they’d have forged a friendship from there, without all the drama between them. Though without Tom, she’d have never contacted his wife and so she’d have never interacted with Elizabeth in a non-work setting. Would she have ever realized how interesting the woman was?

Some said it was better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all. For Claudia, the jury was still out. Not that she loved Elizabeth like that, and she hadn’t lost a lifelong friendship. But she’d lost a relationship she could have seen lasting a lifetime. Were fleeting moments of happiness enough to make up for the pain you felt when everything crashed down?

She also wondered if Tom would have cheated with someone else if they’d never met, and if that woman would not have contacted Elizabeth, which meant she’d still be clueless and living her life at Tom’s side. No. In the end, Claudia would never regret telling Elizabeth the truth about everything, even if it had cost her their friendship.

After Sammy had left, she’d continued to cling to the weak hope things might still work out, only to chide herself because hope so often proved to be a wicked mistress. At the thought, she gritted her teeth.

Mistress.

Tom had turned her into one, and whenever the word entered her mind, a familiar fury surged through her. Aside from there being no male equivalent (there should be), she’d never have put herself in such a situation, and she continued to resent Tom for doing this to her. In the future, she needed to be…

What? More thorough? Doubt her partner and hire an investigator to make sure they weren’t secretly married or in a relationship? How ridiculous. Either way, she needed to make peace with it.

Claudia settled more during the week. She thankfully suffered no more nausea, and no drama arose at work. Elizabeth was back, too, and while she seemed more present, the distance between them persisted, and in some moments looming even larger— a culmination of everything that had happened.

On Friday afternoon after returning from work, her phone rang, but she’d missed the call by the time she’d gotten out of the bathroom. When she picked it up, expecting a missed call from Sammy or her mother, she did a double take when instead Elizabeth’s name showed up. She settled on a chair and stared at her phone log for a couple of minutes before placing it screen down on the table.

What did Elizabeth want? Maybe she’d ring again, although she might also seek Claudia out on Monday at work if she didn’t call back. It could also have been a butt dial. She knew how to obtain the answer to her first question, but she might hate the outcome. Of course, she doubted Elizabeth could tell her anything worse than the conclusion of their last conversation.

Steeling herself, Claudia grasped her phone and returned Elizabeth’s call. She picked up after two rings.

“Hi, Claudia,” a breathless Elizabeth greeted her.

Claudia shuffled in her seat. “Hi. Are you OK?”

“I don’t know.”

Claudia frowned. “What’s up? Your migraines again?” She closed her eyes. Why was it so easy to fall into this pattern with Elizabeth?

“No, not this week. Listen, I know how we left things last time, and it’s… I don’t like it.”

“I don’t either, but you said—”

“Yes, I know. I may have overreacted.” The missing ‘again’ hung in the air, but neither touched it. Both instances were more than understandable, even if they sucked. And hurt.

Silence.

“Are you still there?”

“Yes.” Claudia had hoped to hear this, and a part of her wanted to jump for joy, but she also figured a certain amount of caution would serve her well. She didn’t want to hope, only to lose again.

“Would you… If you’re free tomorrow, would you come by my place so we can talk?” Elizabeth asked, and Claudia hated the hesitation, the wistful tone of her voice.

“About what?”

Silence.

Elizabeth sighed. “About how much my life sucks.”

“I’m not sure how talking to me will help there.”

Elizabeth released a wry chuckle. “What if I told you your absence is one cause of the…suckage?”

Claudia’s mouth opened, but no sound spilled forth while her heart sprinted as if she were being chased by a horde of zombies.

“Is it too much? I’m sorry. I thought… You value honesty, and I was the one who ended things, so it’s on me to try to fix it.”

“If it’s what you truly want.”

“I wouldn’t lie to you, especially not about this,” Elizabeth rasped.

Claudia closed her eyes. “When should I be there?” She thought she could hear Elizabeth’s answering smile. Or perhaps her visual imagination was that great. Either way, Claudia felt about ten tons lighter.

“How about one?”

“I’ll be there. See you tomorrow.”

“Thank you.”

~ ~ ~

Before heading to Elizabeth’s the next day, she’d bought several cat treats. In fact, her purse mostly contained irresistible cat temptations. Raji better appreciate it, and she figured getting along with him might add some plus points to her column. She shouldn’t assume Elizabeth’s words would translate to a rekindling of their friendship.

Upon arrival, she rang Elizabeth’s doorbell, a small container in her hand.

“Hi. Thanks for coming.” Elizabeth seemed unsure of how to greet Claudia, and instead pointed at the box in her hand. “Is this for me?”

“Yes.” She held it up. “It’s madlouka. A sweet knefeh dough topped with fresh cream and crushed pistachios. It’s one of my favorites.” She flushed and dipped her head.

“That’s sweet. Thank you. You didn’t have to bring anything.” Elizabeth accepted the package and motioned for Claudia to follow her inside. She placed the pastry on an entryway table and turned back toward Claudia. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah, of course.” She stuffed her hands into her pants pockets.

“Still no morning sickness or anything, right?”

“No, the nausea has been a lot better. Some smells still get to me, and I’m not keen on sweets right now, but other than that, it’s not bad.”

“Good. Come on in. I made a chicken and vegetable stew. I hope you like it.”

“Oh, I do, but I didn’t expect you to go through so much trouble.” What was going on here?

“I was in the mood, and it wasn’t a hassle. I haven’t felt like cooking in a while, though I usually quite like it.”

“Huh. I can’t say we have that in common. I live on too much fast food and processed, quick meals.”

Elizabeth frowned, looking Claudia up and down. “I sometimes forget how young you are.”

“Hey!” Not again.

Elizabeth waved her off. “You need to eat healthier now. Are you taking pre-natal vitamins?”

“Started a while ago.” Claudia worried she’d entered the twilight zone. Why was Elizabeth suddenly OK with the pregnancy when three weeks ago it had made her end their friendship? Even more so, she now acted all concerned and whatnot. It was giving her whiplash.

“Good,” Elizabeth said with such evident satisfaction, Claudia blinked furiously.

They settled to eat shortly after she had arrived, and their conversation flowed easier than Claudia had expected, but then again, they always seemed to defy the odds.

“Too bad you can’t partake in a glass of wine. The Pinot complements the stew perfectly.”

“Oh, I rarely drink alcohol,” Claudia said between bites.

“Any particular reason?”

Claudia chuckled. “It’s funny. You’re surprised I’m not regularly consuming a cell toxin.”

Elizabeth startled. “Come again?”

“It’s just odd. Like if someone invented alcoholic drinks today and tried to get FDA approval—or whatever safety certificate food and beverages need—they’d laugh them out of the room.”

“I suppose. I’ve never thought of it like that.”

“Most people don’t. Alcohol is so ingrained in our social fabric that it’s considered normal, even though it causes around three million deaths a year worldwide—not to mention all the social and economic losses, or the hundreds of diseases and injuries it contributes to.”

“That’s a condemning fact sheet.”

Claudia hummed. “My relationship with alcohol is complicated. I drank more in my early twenties, but it never sat right with me. So now it’s more like special occasions where everyone is drinking, and I don’t want to look like the boring outsider of fun.” She frowned. “That makes me sound incredibly pathetic.”

“It doesn’t. Peer pressure and societal expectations aren’t easy to shrug off.”

“But I’m old enough to… I don’t know. Stand my ground? Especially when I feel strongly about something.”

“I’m older and still succumb to those forces at times. You’ll get there eventually, but don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“We’re our worst critics for a reason. We know all the stuff in our heads, and so we have the full picture when we fail,” Claudia said.

“It doesn’t mean you should never offer yourself grace.”

Claudia held Elizabeth’s gaze. Perhaps they were doing that now, too—offering each other grace by returning to a more normal interaction. Could this work without addressing the elephant in the room? Maybe only Claudia felt this way, and Elizabeth had already moved on. But she had wanted them to talk, and Claudia doubted Elizabeth had a discussion about alcohol in mind when she’d suggested that. “I suppose not. Like I said, it’s a complicated and heavy topic. I didn’t mean to drag down our conversation.”

Elizabeth canted her head. “You didn’t. Is there a rule we may only talk about happy or carefree issues?”

“Of course not.”

“Besides, we already have one heavy conversation ahead of us. What’s another one? That’s if you want to talk about it.”

Relief flooded Claudia—Elizabeth meant to discuss whatever was going on between them. But she also wanted to share this story with her. She had missed Elizabeth terribly, more so than she should.

At the same time, she rarely talked about her grandfather, and she also perceived the underlying tension slowly rising between them, but oh, how she longed to be back on solid ground with Elizabeth.

“My grandfather died when I was eighteen. Cirrhosis of the liver.” She sighed. “The doctors told him he needed to stop drinking, or he’d die. He stopped. Or so we thought.” She smiled, a reflex to ward off tears rushing to her eyes. “We didn’t know. He…” Claudia clenched her jaw. “After he died, we…we found bottles, small flasks filled with beer and spirits everywhere in the house.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Thank you. It was awful. He was… We were close. Whenever we flew back to Lebanon to visit family, we’d always sit together and chat, and he’d tell me stories about growing up and take me places he loved.” She shrugged. “We’d drink Earl Grey together, and so that scent is…”

“Bittersweet.”

“Yes, but my memories are mostly sweet and fond, and they are much heavier than the loss in some ways. It’s… A friend of mine once told me a metaphor about grief several years ago when I broke down sobbing as she offered me his favorite pastry.”

“Care to share?”

Claudia nodded. “Imagine an empty room, fully closed and contained, no windows, nothing. But there’s this one green dot on the wall, and a ball constantly bounces inside. Forever. It never stops or pauses.” Claudia’s voice faltered at Elizabeth’s intense gaze brimming with compassion. “The green spot is your loss, your pain and grief. When you first lose someone, it covers almost the entire room, so the ball keeps hitting it again and again. But as time passes, the spot shrinks, and while you still miss your loved one, you don’t ache anymore. But when it does hit the green spot…” She shook her head. “It’s like you’ve just lost them.”

“And what do Earl Grey and bergamot do? Do they make the ball hit the green spot?”

“No. There’s only a rush of warmth and fondness.”

“It makes sense your relationship with alcohol would be complicated. Aside from it being a cell toxin, as you’ve pointed out, it connects to a terrible loss.”

“Yeah. Thank you.”

“For what?”

Claudia shrugged. “Being you, and being back, I suppose.” Elizabeth held her gaze, and Claudia couldn’t decipher it, but it caused heat to spread through her body.

“Thank you for being willing to hear me out.”

Claudia smiled.

They finished their food and moved to the living room where Claudia found Raji curled up on the couch, fast asleep. Bribery would have to wait, especially since she’d been preoccupied all day.

“May I ask you a question?”

“Of course. You don’t need my permission.”

“It’s just…” Claudia worried her lower lip. “It’s hard to fathom you’re now OK with all of this again.”

“It’s complicated.”

“I have time. Besides, that’s what I’m here for, right?”

overload and regrets

A huge part of Elizabeth didn’t want to have this discussion. It had been hard enough to allow herself to contact Claudia and ask her to visit today. Doing so had devoured almost all her courage. She wished they could just drop it, act like nothing had happened and continue as they had before. Wishful thinking galore, not to mention, things were already different. Besides, Claudia deserved more.

“It was a bit like an overload, although I didn’t realize it right away. There are moments when you feel like you’ll explode if something doesn’t change or give. It’s an immediate internal crisis, and it feels as if you can’t bear even a fraction of a second more of whatever is going on.”

Claudia nodded. “Yeah. I’ve had moments like that. It’s funny because when I look back, I don’t recall the exact emotion. Even though I know it was intense, in retrospect, I don’t get it anymore.”

“Yes, I do still understand it, though. I haven’t changed my mind about not wanting Tom in my life.”

“I don’t want it either, for myself, I mean.”

“While it might not be as easy for you, given the pregnancy, we both know it’s very unlikely he’ll seek to be a part of your child’s life. Still, you never know.”

“I’ll tell him, once I’m past the first trimester, or even later. There’s no rush, but again, even if he wanted to be in the baby’s life, it wouldn’t have anything to do with you. I’d not ask you to be involved.”

“I know. But again, emotions aren’t known for being rational, and back when I first thought about what this meant and how it would affect me, my imagination ran away with me.”

“That makes sense. So, it was all just an overreaction?”

“I suppose it was a mixture. Me realizing I’ve overreacted, and that while Tom will always be a part of my past, nothing can make me include him in my present and future.”

“I’d never try that,” Claudia said, once more wearing her sincere, earnest expression that tugged at Elizabeth’s heart.

“I know. I just felt so helpless. Even if Tom is responsible for us getting closer in a weird way, it doesn’t mean he’ll continue to play a role.”

“I’m glad you’ve changed your mind,” Claudia said, her voice soft.

“Me, too.”

“I missed you a lot.” Claudia froze as if bracing for an impact.

“That’s… a relief to hear because I missed you, too.”

A lump formed in Elizabeth’s throat at Claudia’s answering blinding smile. “I’ll admit we’ve had an uncommon way to start a friendship, and it’s perhaps not something you’d advertise in, ‘and how did you two meet’ questions, but it seems a shame to reject a connection because of how it has arisen, or out of fear of the future.”

“Yeah. It’s still… I don’t know. A lot, isn’t it?” Claudia groaned. “Sorry. Never mind me. I sometimes sabotage a good thing.”

“Us being friends is a good thing?”

“Duh,” Claudia deadpanned.

Elizabeth laughed before sobering. “It is a lot. I won’t lie. We might still encounter bumps along the way. But it would be better to…take things easy and discuss whatever is bothering us rather than going nuclear like I did. I now feel OK, not… I’m still a bit gun shy, as they say, but I’ll be fine. And I’m not saying this because it’ll allow our friendship to continue.”

Claudia’s eyes widened.

“The news of your pregnancy threw me, but in the end, it’s a reality I can’t change, nor would I want to as it’s not my place. I realized, thankfully, that it has nothing to do with our relationship.”

“You didn’t wish it had been you?”

Elizabeth sighed. Of course Claudia would go there. “I had some moments of bitterness. As I said, my feelings were all over the place.” She grimaced. “Truly unpleasant.”

Claudia just looked at her.

“Ten years ago, perhaps I’d have wished it had been me. Maybe even right after we’d gotten married, but now? No. I can’t even fathom giving birth at forty-seven and chasing around a ten-year-old at almost sixty.”

Claudia laughed. “You don’t chase ten-year-olds anymore.”

“Be that as it may, no. I don’t wish for it.”

“OK, good.” Claudia’s gaze found the floor.

“What’s really going on?” Elizabeth asked.

“I guess I sometimes struggle to believe a good thing can be real or it’s so easy in the end.”

“I didn’t say it was easy. It hit me hard, but that doesn’t matter.”

Claudia frowned. “That doesn’t sound like you’re really at peace or that it won’t…hurt us again.” She cleared her throat.

“Perhaps, but it’s a process, and if I felt uncertain, I wouldn’t have asked you to come today. I don’t enjoy endless back and forth, and I’ve already caused enough drama. I’d not put us through such an emotional rollercoaster again. I can’t change what happened—it’s done—but I can promise to try to find different solutions in the future.”

“Together?”

“Yes. Together.”

“That’s good. I appreciate you being sure because I’d hate going through this again, too. And well, thank you for being so gracious about everything.”

“Once more, I don’t blame you for Tom’s affair, even though you were a part of it. You didn’t know, and as such you’re without blame. More so, you contacted me right away and since then, you’ve been nothing but honest.”

“Yes, but—”

“No, I don’t think you understand how much this means to me. But it’s also… I had two choices, right? I either let it go or I lose your friendship for good, and I chose the former.”

“I’m glad,” Claudia said. “But how do you choose to let go of an emotion?”

Elizabeth shrugged. “Because I decided to do so? I don’t know. Perhaps it depends on what is more important. Again, we’ll likely encounter more moments where one of us gets their feelings hurt. But that’s life, and it’s a reality in friendships regardless of the circumstances. I need you to remember none of it is your fault. You’re not causing my pain. It will dull and disappear with time.”

“I still hate you suffered because of something I had a part in.”

Elizabeth reached out and clasped Claudia’s hand. “That’s because you have such a soft heart.”

Claudia ducked her head. “I hope the decision to let go won’t backfire on you.”

“I doubt it. If an emotion were to destroy what you wish to maintain or prevent what you want from blossoming, you’d find a way to contain it and let it go—or transform it into something else. I don’t see it as an issue that keeps coming up once decided.”

“If you’re sure.”

“I am.” Elizabeth squeezed Claudia’s hand. “It won’t get in our way again.”

“All right.”

“But I have a question of my own, although it might be somewhat indiscreet.”

Claudia snorted. “I’d say we’re beyond that.”

“Tom said he used protection. He’s always been quite diligent.”

“Oh, we did. Every time.” Claudia flushed.

“I suppose accidents do happen.”

“That they do— two in a hundred.” She cringed. “I looked it up when I tested positive. Let’s hope it’ll all turn out to be a blessing.”

“I’m sure it will,” Elizabeth said.

Raji stretched and rose, meandering toward Elizabeth and rubbing against her leg. She stroked his head.

Claudia eyed Elizabeth and Raji, before trying to hide a yawn.

“You’re still so tired all the time?”

“Yes, but… I honestly don’t want to go home yet.”

Elizabeth’s heart clenched at Claudia’s words, delivered in such a soft, low tone. “Then stay.”

Claudia smiled, nodding. “Do you think we could watch something?”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened, once more surprised by Claudia’s easy-going demeanor and candor. She knew most people in their situation wouldn’t have been as forgiving as Claudia, nor would a connection have been so effortlessly reestablished. “Sure. What are you in the mood for?”

“Hmm, all my crime shows are out. How about Broken Time again? We could continue where we’d left of.”

Elizabeth chuckled. “And you assume I own the show on DVD?”

“No, but we can stream it again. I can log into my account if you don’t have a subscription.”

“You do that.” Elizabeth still petted Raji who narrowed his eyes and hissed at Claudia when she reached out to take the remote control from Elizabeth. “So much for bribing my cat.”

“Hey! I’m tired, and it’s our first day together. To be fair, I was also a little distracted by Raji’s owner. Besides, he’ll learn to love me, don’t worry.”

“Is that so?” Elizabeth refrained from clearing her throat. Why did her voice sound so husky suddenly?

“Yes. I’m an acquired taste.”

Elizabeth’s eyes shone while Claudia blushed.

Claudia set up the show and pressed play, continuing where they’d previously left of ages ago, during another time. “It could be our thing.” Claudia settled deeper into the couch.

“Hmm?”

“Watching your best friend’s show together.” Claudia yawned.

Elizabeth chuckled and got more comfortable as well. She felt so warm and content. They’d cleared the air, and Claudia was here again—her confidant who had grown close faster than anyone in a long time, who had returned without demanding groveling or penance.

Elizabeth gazed at Claudia. Her eyelids flickered closed as she drifted nearer, leaning against her shoulder, fast asleep.

Her future didn’t look so bleak and alone after all.

with faltering infatuation

Claudia woke up in the middle of the night, mortified to find she had not only fallen asleep but was also cuddled up to Elizabeth. God, at least there’s no drool. She wiped her mouth surreptitiously.

Elizabeth smiled her damned soft smile and ushered her to the guestroom, rejecting Claudia’s suggestion of returning home. “If you think I’ll let you drive at two in the morning, tired and exhausted like you are, you don’t know me at all.”

She gave her a set of pajamas and left her with a bag of toiletries, saying she’d check on her again before heading to bed herself.

When Elizabeth came back, Claudia was once more about to fall asleep and apparently, mumbled something to Elizabeth before she drifted off.

~ ~ ~

At breakfast the next morning, Claudia froze with a spoonful of cereal halfway to her mouth.

“Are you OK?” Elizabeth asked, her voice tinged with concern. “I asked when you want to go roller-skating. We should probably do it soon because I don’t know how long you can do that while pregnant. It might be too dangerous after a while.”

Claudia blinked furiously and placed the spoon back down. “We’re going roller-skating?”

“You’ve changed your mind? If you don’t want to go anymore, that’s fine, but—”

“No! I do want to go. I just…” Claudia’s eyes widened. That must have been what she’d asked Elizabeth last night.

“You were quite insistent last night, and we talked about going, before our little…falling out.” Elizabeth’s brows furrowed.

“Yes. We totally should go.” Claudia smiled.

She loved roller-skating, and she hadn’t been in ages because going alone was boring. When she’d first mentioned it during one of their conversations, Elizabeth had confessed she used to love ice skating as a teenager, but hadn’t been to a rink in decades.

Claudia had no idea why this had been on her mind the previous night, but it didn’t stop the elation from rushing through her when she realized Elizabeth had agreed.

~ ~ ~

They ended up going to the local skating rink on a Wednesday after work because, “It’ll be less crowded in case I make a fool of myself.” Elizabeth shouldn’t have worried—she was utterly mesmerizing, almost floating across the track.

Several times, Claudia almost collided with a few other skaters because she couldn’t take her eyes off Elizabeth, who was smiling, with red cheeks and glowing eyes.

“This was such a brilliant idea! I haven’t had so much fun in ages,” Elizabeth exclaimed when they stopped for a moment, leaning against the perimeter of the rink.

Claudia smiled—grinned goofily, more like it. She’d decided since she couldn’t seem to nip her infatuation in the bud, she might as well enjoy the harmless crush, knowing it would lead nowhere. Moreover, it came without the risk of once more picking a terrible significant other—not that Elizabeth would make an awful partner, which was likely why it would never happen. And anyway, they had just reconnected, and the last thing she wanted was to upset the balance between them. Instead, she let herself enjoy the newfound ease between them, surprised by how light she felt—almost buoyant.

“Based on your grin, I’d say you’re enjoying yourself, too. Although you’ve been living dangerously.”

Claudia’s eyebrows rose. “You’ve noticed my close calls, huh?”

“Hard not to amidst the shouts and curses of your almost murderers. Or would they have been your victims?”

“Hey! There were no shouts or curses! A few yelps maybe,” Claudia grumbled.

“Hmm. Perhaps I just have my eyes on you.”

Claudia stared speechlessly after Elizabeth, who once more skated out into the open. If it had been anyone else—the words, that tone, Elizabeth’s facial expression—Claudia would have sworn they were flirting with her.

“You wish,” she mumbled under her breath, pushing off the border to chase after Elizabeth.

Who knew sleepy, exhausted Claudia could come up with such a bittersweet proposal as roller-skating with the woman who left her in a state of utter bewilderment while her heart vied for a reprieve.

They skated peacefully together, talking and joking for a while, but like most things, reality tended to interrupt quite rudely. Claudia was telling Elizabeth about a prank she and Sammy had come up with when they were ten (it had fallen completely flat), and she was so immersed in her tale, she missed a gaggle of teens—seeming to be just as oblivious to their surroundings—heading straight for her.

By the time she noticed the imminent collision, she froze.

Elizabeth called out her name and yanked at Claudia’s arm, pulling her into her body, staggering under the weight and speed as she dragged Claudia toward the perimeter, where they collided against the border in a heap.

Claudia groaned, holding on to Elizabeth, struggling to keep them both upright.

“Are you alright?” Elizabeth asked, breathless, her face a mask of concern.

She is so pretty. Claudia could only stare at her and bask in her nearness, in the subtle aroma of bergamot and jasmine, mixed with the uncanny scent of the outside.

“Did you hit your head?” Elizabeth reached out and touched Claudia’s temple. “No. You couldn’t have. Why can’t you talk?”

“You’re really beautiful.” Claudia grimaced internally as a blush lit up her face.

Elizabeth laughed. “You must have hit your head hard.”

“Don’t.”

“What?”

“Deflect compliments. Or minimize them to make it all seem… less.”

Elizabeth only stared at Claudia.

They were so close. All Claudia had to do was lean forward and… No. She couldn’t. But why did Elizabeth have to look at her like that? As if Claudia were a wonder.

“I wasn’t aware I was doing that,” Elizabeth rasped.

The sound of her voice shot heat through Claudia. “You do.”

“I shall work on it.”

Claudia could only nod, still trapped in Elizabeth’s clear gaze.

“Are you all right?”

“Yeah. Just wasn’t paying enough attention.”

“You don’t say.”

Claudia flushed and ducked her head.

“Hey.” Elizabeth placed a cold finger on Claudia’s chin and lifted her head.

Claudia suppressed a shiver.

“I’m teasing you. But you do have to be more careful.”

“Because I’m pregnant.”

“That, but I generally don’t want anything to happen to you.”

Once more, Claudia only managed to nod.

Elizabeth pulled back and an odd mien Claudia couldn’t place flickered across her face before she smoothed her features. “Do you want to get something to eat? There’s a great place nearby. They make excellent pizzas and desserts, and I seem to recall someone with an affinity for such…questionable combinations.”

“Yes, and yes. And again, all the food still ends up together—”

“In your stomach, yes. But before it reaches your stomach, it passes your taste buds.”

“What’s wrong with pizza and desserts?”

“Nothing, as long as you don’t eat them together.”

“I’m not eating them together,” Claudia protested while following Elizabeth off the rink.

“You swallow a piece of pizza before taking a bite of your chocolate lava cake. What would you call it?”

“Eating one after the other?”

Elizabeth snorted. “You’re so silly sometimes.”

They took off their skates and after returning Elizabeth’s, they headed for the parking lot.

Claudia smiled as they strode to their cars. “Is the restaurant within walking distance?”

“Yes, if you don’t mind walking for about fifteen minutes.”

“That’s fine. Let me put my skates in the trunk first.”

At the restaurant, Claudia continued to marvel at their effortless connection and how even the pause, as she’d decided to call their little break, didn’t seem to have had much of an impact on their interactions. She’d truly never experienced such a friendship.

“Oh, you haven’t seen my bedroom yet,” Elizabeth said suddenly, placing her glass down on the table.

Claudia, having just swallowed a sip of soda, coughed, covering her mouth with her elbow. “Excuse me?” she pressed out.

“Petra and the crew from Pat Stewarts finished my bedroom renovations. You haven’t seen the final results. I suppose I could send you pictures, but that’s not the same. So, next time you’re at my place, remind me to show you my bedroom.”

“Oh, right. Yes, sure.” Claudia stifled an eye roll at herself. She needed to get her mind out of the gutter. Infatuation was one thing, but she needed to keep it in check. “Hey, what are you doing tomorrow?”

“Nothing. We had plans to celebrate Thanksgiving with Tom’s family. Now... I’ll spend some quality time with Raji.”

“No, you won’t,” Claudia said with assurance.

Elizabeth blinked rapidly. “I won’t?”

“No. There’s no way I’ll let you spend Thanksgiving alone. No offense to Raji, but you’ll come to my place. Well, my parents’ place.”

Elizabeth’s expression, shining with both amusement and a challenge, left Claudia almost breathless, and she struggled to hold her gaze.

“Is that so?”

“Yup.”

“That’s not how you’ll get into Raji’s good graces.”

“No worries. I’ll set my devious plan to bribe him in motion the next time I’m at your place.”

“He’s peculiar, as you may have noticed.”

Claudia laughed. “You don’t say. With that human…”

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes. “Watch it.”

“Besides, we gotta make up for lost time,” Claudia said.

“What lost time?”

Claudia raised her eyebrows.

“You mean because of those three long weeks we didn’t talk?”

Claudia flushed. “It was almost four, and anyway, it seemed longer.”

“True.”

“I’m surprised I didn’t get an ‘indeed’ as a reply.” Claudia sought to lighten the mood once more to calm her pelting heart.

“So, you knew I’d agree, or was it more an assumption?”

“I told you before, I’m a big fan of hope.”

“That you are.” Elizabeth bit her lower lip. “You hoped we’d fix things?”

“Of course, but… hope is a fickle f’er sometimes.”

Elizabeth snorted. “You don’t curse?”

Claudia’s gaze swept across their surroundings, noting a few couples sitting close by, lost in their own conversations. “I reserve such language for appropriate situations.”

“Oh? And a semi-full Italian restaurant on a weeknight isn’t one?”

“Not according to my parents, no.”

Elizabeth shook her head. “You’re too adorable for words sometimes.”

Claudia blushed.

“Why is hope fickle?”

“Because whenever we hope, there’s something we really want. So, if it doesn’t work out, and let’s be real, there’s at least a fifty-fifty chance for an unhappy ending, we’ll be disappointed. More so since, well, we wanted it badly.”

“And other times we’re not attached to a specific outcome?”

Claudia shrugged. “I’m not saying people rarely have an overarching hope in life for stuff to work out. But I don’t know, like when I’m actively hoping for something to turn out a certain way, I’m more invested than in, let’s say, the traffic lights all switching green when I’m on my way somewhere.”

“Unless you’re in a rush,” Elizabeth pointed out.

“Yeah. I suppose. But I’m still talking about more impactful stuff.”

“It could be impactful if you’re on your way to an important meeting. Could be life changing, even.”

Claudia tilted her head. “Are you intentionally being contrarian?”

“A little. But those are good points, no?”

“I suppose.”

“I’m amazed by the energy and resources you’ve spent on our friendship—that...it means to much to you.”

Claudia didn’t know what to say, so she only stared at Elizabeth. She had been doing this a lot today. At least now there was no chance of a bunch of teenagers running into her and knocking her to the ground.

“Because I’ve rarely encountered a situation where such a connection and the desire for a friendship turned out to be mutual.”

Claudia’s eyes softened. “You’re not alone.”

midlife crisis and mud

If she’d still been with Tom, Elizabeth would have spent Thanksgiving at his family’s home in the Dallas suburbs. She’d be lying if she said she missed attending that particular gathering. She liked Tom’s family enough, but they had never fully accepted her, blaming her for their boy not giving them any grandchildren. Well, they should be happy to know he’d managed to do so after all.

While driving to Claudia’s family’s home, she lost herself in contemplations.

Sadness over her failed marriage still lingered sometimes—memories were pesky little things—but for the most part, she felt awash with relief, even more so since her relationship with Claudia was back on track, and not just that, but it seemed to have continued seamlessly where they’d left off.

Even though she wanted Tom out of her life, Elizabeth didn’t believe love and affection just ended because you decided someone wasn’t worth it. She still loved Tom in some way, but she couldn’t be with him anymore, and she had reached a point where that seemed all right. More than that, if she were being honest. The realization left her unburdened—it signaled to her that she’d come out on the other side.

She’d been surprised by Claudia’s invitation to Thanksgiving, and by her subsequent text message spam to ensure she was still coming, despite Elizabeth’s assurances when they’d said goodbye after leaving the restaurant yesterday.

Elizabeth released her tight grip on the steering wheel after pulling up at the address Claudia had texted. She seized the sweet potato pie she’d baked the night before and exited the car.

As she strode up the stairs to the Craftsman house, she recalled Claudia’s last visit at her home, and how she had fallen asleep on her couch while watching Broken Time. She’d contemplated telling Kat her show made people drowsy, but that would mean unpacking everything that had happened with Claudia and hearing Kat say she’d been right about Elizabeth’s feelings.

Sometimes she worried no one would understand their connection. She’d be swamped with questions she didn’t want to hear and have to come up with answers she didn’t have or even cared to seek, especially now that everything was so fresh and fragile again.

Elizabeth had been so touched Claudia had been comfortable enough to drift off, and yes, pregnancy fatigue had likely played a role, but to Elizabeth, it also signaled she still held Claudia’s trust. She had smiled and taken in Claudia’s sleep-softened features, and she’d been startled by the wave of affection and protectiveness the sight had stirred in her. There’d been another emotion washing over her at Claudia’s nearness, but she couldn’t quite place it. It had been both warm and almost exhilarating, yet there’d also been a tension she toiled to understand.

Since Claudia hadn’t told her family about the pregnancy yet, and given how busy Sammy was, she figured Claudia wouldn’t be having an easy time with any of it. Elizabeth’s disappearance likely hadn’t helped either. However, beating herself up over it wouldn’t do them any good.

While looking at Claudia that night, and with Raji returning and head-butting her—she’d absentmindedly petted him—warmth had inundated Elizabeth. A quiet contentment had spread, mingling with the determination to be there for Claudia through this journey and to help her in any way possible. It seemed odd, feeling so attached to someone who, a mere five months ago, had been nothing but an employee before turning into scammer-Claudia. God, how things had changed.

The door swung open, and Elizabeth couldn’t suppress a smile when she came face to face with a practically glowing Claudia. “Hi.”

“You made it.” Claudia sounded almost breathless.

Elizabeth frowned. “Of course. Did you think I was going to stand you up last minute?”

Instead of an answer, Claudia surged forward and hugged Elizabeth, who barely managed to prevent the pie from slipping out of her fingers. Her face ended up pressed against Claudia’s neck, and she inhaled deeply, her free hand tightening her hold on Claudia’s back as the clean scent of lilies washed over her. When had she last hugged someone? And had it felt like this? She couldn’t remember hugging Kat ever leaving her buoyant and almost jittery.

“Careful,” she whispered and withdrew, her hands trembling. She supposed she needed to add more exercise if carrying a pie exhausted her muscles.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Claudia pulled back, dropping her head and stuffing her hands into her pants pockets—her bashful or uncomfortable pose, at least based on Elizabeth’s observations.

“No, no, you’re fine. I just meant the pie. Would be a shame to drop it on the floor.”

“Right, of course. Come on in. I’ll introduce you.” She leaned closer and murmured near Elizabeth’s ear, “Just be prepared for a lot of questions.”

Elizabeth shuddered, blinking rapidly before following Claudia into the house.

There were more people present than Elizabeth had expected, including Claudia’s aunt Sonia and her husband, Amin, along with their two daughters, and an old family friend of Claudia’s mother. Thanks to Elizabeth’s job, she adjusted quickly and put on her charm as if it were a charity event. For some odd reason, she wanted Claudia’s family to like her. Judging by the multitudes of questions barreling her way—about her charity, how long she’d been living in the United States, what she missed most about England, if she liked soccer, and oddly, a discussion about breakfast foods—Claudia’s warning hadn’t been a joke.

Kareem turned out to be more than willing to share cute (embarrassing, according to Claudia) tales of his daughter’s childhood. Like the time she had made a mud pie outside and her parents had played along and acted as if they ate their ‘pieces,’ resulting in Claudia shoving a handful of dirt into her mouth, only to spit it out and start crying. Or when Claudia had seen a woman with tattoos all over her body in the waiting room at the doctor’s office and proceeded to give herself ‘tattoos’ of butterflies and rainbows with markers on her arms, legs, and belly, to where her bathwater had turned into a dark sludge.

Elizabeth almost choked on her laughter when Kareem pulled out an old photo album. She ‘awwed’ at all those baby and child candids of Claudia until present-day Claudia’s face turned beet red and she begged her father to stop torturing her. Elizabeth thought if the baby took after their mother, they would be too cute for words.

The evening went by in pleasant conversations, and with Elizabeth failing to suppress her urge to check on Claudia—though to be fair, she also remained on the lookout to empty Claudia’s wine glass inconspicuously throughout the night. She had done more research on pregnancy than she cared to admit, and the notion of an embryo the size of a rice kernel or looking like a tadpole still blew her mind.

She’d known it in theory, but she’d never been close to anyone going through a pregnancy. Apparently, Elizabeth also seemed to want to make up for the time they’d lost. She remained in denial that ‘lost time’ here hardly meant four weeks.

Claudia’s entire family were incredibly nice and welcoming, even if they seemed to have decided Elizabeth needed to gain at least five pounds. “I don’t understand why all women insist on being so skinny,” Claudia’s grandmother had bemoaned at some point.

Throughout the evening, Claudia’s cousins, Talia and Aya, were overall nice and polite, though they occasionally snickered and exchanged glances that left Elizabeth confused. It didn’t seem like they were making fun of her, but most occurred when Elizabeth checked on Claudia or when they talked in subdued whispers, with Claudia often playing translator for Elizabeth—a thoughtfulness that touched her greatly.

Later, raised voices drew Elizabeth toward the kitchen. Once she entered, Claudia and her cousins fell quiet, but a heated tension lingered in the room.

Talia murmured something Elizabeth didn’t catch, but Claudia’s sharp “I said drop it,” made Elizabeth straighten.

“Is everything all right?” she asked.

“Of course.” Talia smiled at Elizabeth. “We’re just teasing Claudia a bit.”

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes. “It doesn’t seem like she appreciates it.”

Talia chortled.

“It was all in good fun.” Aya squeezed Claudia’s upper arm and nodded to her sister, who followed her out of the kitchen.

Elizabeth took in Claudia’s clenched fist and tight jaw. She drew closer. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah.” She cleared her throat. “All good.”

“Try that again.”

“Hmm?”

“Your statement lacked feeling. I’m not convinced by your performance, but as you know, practice makes perfect. So, try again.”

Claudia chuckled. “I really like you.”

Heat crept up Elizabeth’s neck. “I really like you, too.”

Claudia sighed.

“You don’t have to talk about what happened, but I’m here if you’d like to.”

Claudia caught Elizabeth’s gaze, and for a second, Elizabeth felt the world halt. Perhaps the wine had been spiked? It would certainly explain the sudden and frantic pounding of her heart.

“They kept asking how long we’ve been together and if I plan on telling the family, and to please do so when teta is not staying at their place,” Claudia rushed out.

Elizabeth’s eyes widened and her heartbeat only increased its wild jaunt. “And this upset you?”

“Well, yes!”

Elizabeth drew back, wondering for a moment why her heart was free-falling into her stomach.

Claudia fidgeted. “I mean, not because… I’d… Oh, God.” She covered her eyes with one hand, then dropped her arm back to her side and stepped closer to Elizabeth. “I’m sorry. I gave you the wrong impression. You know I’m bisexual, but you’re straight, and it’s always been my experience that straight women get uncomfortable about being thought to… Well, if people think they’re in a relationship with another woman.”

“OK, but even if this has been your experience, and I’m not trying to discount it, it doesn’t mean it’ll always be the case or applies to all women.”

Claudia released a shuddered breath. “No, but I did add, ‘in my experience.’”

Elizabeth raised one eyebrow. “Indeed.”

“You’re OK then?”

“What? With your cousins thinking someone as beautiful and kind as you would give me the time of day?” She released a rough chuckle. “Yes. I’m fine with it.” Elizabeth blinked rapidly when she realized she meant it.

Claudia’s lips parted. “You’re not like anyone I’ve ever met.”

“I hope that’s a good thing.”

“Most definitely.”

“Are you ready to head back out and brave your family again?” Elizabeth asked.

“I wasn’t hiding! I was in here to get another piece of your pie. It’s delicious.”

“Thank you.” Elizabeth flushed. “Far be it from me to thwart your increased calorie intake.”

“Ha ha,” Claudia said. “Just for that, I’ll cut a bigger piece. You want one too?”

“No, thank you. I’m not sure that point supports your argument.”

“What? That your pie is delicious?” Claudia put a spoonful in her mouth and groaned. She closed her eyes.

Staring at Claudia, mesmerized, Elizabeth concluded the spiked wine was not to blame for her heart thrashing in Claudia’s presence, nor for her stomach dropping at Claudia’s words, facial expressions, and… sounds.

She had to admit her previous realization about enjoying Claudia’s presence, combined with everything she had felt over the past few weeks and the way Claudia’s absence had physically affected her, led to only one conclusion. The realization, however, propelled her into unfamiliar territory.

Could a midlife crisis make you gay?

a squishy impulse

This year, the Thanksgiving food coma had hit her harder and seemed to linger. The day after saw Claudia curled up on her couch with her tablet, enjoying her current lack of productivity.

Their Thanksgiving dinner had gone smoother than she’d expected, and it had made her feel so content, like her chest might burst, to see her family and Elizabeth get along. Her father’s picture show and her cousins’ antics and delusions aside, the day had been wonderful. A small part of her also delighted in Elizabeth not freaking out over the idea of being in a relationship with a woman—well, with Claudia, really. Still, she needed to press pause (or stop) on it, not only because they had just recently reconnected.

She’d admit she’d probably encouraged, or rather instigated, her cousins’ suspicions, as she’d been completely enamored by Elizabeth charming her family. Claudia enjoyed Elizabeth’s company, and she knew Helping Hands had been a success for many years, but seeing her in action had been enthralling. She shouldn’t blame Talia and Aya for jumping to conclusions, especially given how attentive Elizabeth had remained throughout the evening.

Claudia knew a part of this thoughtfulness stemmed from her pregnancy (maybe also from feeling needlessly guilty), but her heart didn’t differentiate, and like a lost wanderer set out to chase a dream destined to turn into windmills down the road. Only unlike Don Quixote, she didn’t even have a horse to console her over the heartbreak awaiting her at the horizon. Lost in her maudlin thoughts, she started when her phone beeped. Elizabeth.

Claudia smiled when she read the message, Elizabeth asking to call her when she had a moment. She pressed dial immediately. “Hey. What’s up?”

“Hi. How are you?”

“All right. Just finished the newest episode of See No Evil. Vegging on the couch.”

“Isn’t your first appointment to check on the baby coming up?”

Claudia rolled her eyes. She’d not be surprised if Elizabeth noted these things in her calendar. “Tuesday. The first ultrasound, though there’s not much to see yet. Just a growth check, I think. Wanna come along?”

Silence.

Claudia pulled at the edge of the pillow lying next to her. What was she doing? Although it couldn’t be that unusual to ask a friend to come along to your ultrasound appointment. “You don’t have to, I just thought—”

“I’d love to.”

Claudia sagged deeper into the couch. “Yeah?”

“If you want me to, obviously, but you’d not asked otherwise… and you just surprised me so…” Elizabeth seemed to run out of air after her unusual rambling comment.

If Claudia hadn’t already been helplessly smitten, she’d have been so now—self-assured Elizabeth stumbling over words. Realizing there’d be hell to pay if she called her adorable, Claudia swallowed those words. “I do. The appointment is at four. I tried to get it as close to the end of my workday as possible, but they had no later appointment.”

“We could drive together. In separate cars, though. I don’t want to leave you stranded.”

“Sure. Sounds good.”

“Great. Thank you.”

Claudia laughed. “Shouldn’t I be the one thanking you?”

“For what?”

Claudia’s eyes widened. Elizabeth’s question sounded genuine. “For being there for me.” She cleared her throat against the lump forming. Claudia knew she needed to be more careful and keep her distance emotionally, but she couldn’t figure out how when all she wanted was more time with Elizabeth, to bask in her presence, because that alone was enough to make her happy. She was pathetic.

“You don’t need to thank me for that.”

Claudia grinned, a broad, goofy expression on her face. Thank goodness she lived alone. “I still want to show my appreciation.”

“All right. You may do so, then.”

Claudia snorted. “You’re so kind.”

“I know. It’s a tragic flaw.”

“You’re silly.”

“You know, I don’t think anyone has ever called me that. Perhaps your influence brings it out of me since you know everything about being silly.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

Elizabeth chuckled. “You would.”

“There’s a lot of things I would.” Claudia worried her lower lip. She needed to watch it.

“Such as?”

“Oh, you know…” She scrambled for an innocent, friendly idea.

“I don’t.”

Claudia suppressed a sigh. Leave it to Elizabeth to make it hard. “Like drink hot chocolate with pizza.”

“Ew. I vividly recall.”

“Hey! Those who drink eggnog may not cast the first stone!”

“That’s not how the saying goes,” Elizabeth drawled.

“Indeed.”

“Watch it.”

Claudia once more couldn’t prevent a huge smile from forming.

They chatted a little longer, and once she hung up, Claudia concluded not only was she pathetic but also hopeless. Since she had admitted her infatuation to herself, her brain and heart were intent on marching ahead, heedless of what might be smart and logical, and instead just lived on hope. Claudia sighed. She didn’t want to lose Elizabeth, so she would have to control these impulses. She’d just had a taste of such a reality and desired no repeat. Ever.

Of course, it didn’t seem like Elizabeth minded. On the other hand, it was also possible Elizabeth didn’t register her sometimes flirty comments. Straight people could be so clueless when it came to flirting between people of the same sex.

Tuesday arrived in the blink of an eye, and work had become exceptionally busy again. They had stayed long the day before, though they had only talked for a bit, as they’d both seemed drained.

Claudia continued to wonder if Elizabeth knew about her ridiculous infatuation and just chose to ignore it, or if this was her way of interacting with friends, oblivious to the undercurrent sometimes swirling beneath their words.

She exited her car and Elizabeth joined her.

“I’m really glad you’re here.”

Elizabeth hummed. “Come on. It’s almost four.”

“I’m on time.”

“Aren’t you supposed to arrive early for doctor’s appointments?” Elizabeth asked.

“Aren’t you early for every appointment?”

“You say it like it’s a bad thing.”

“It’s not bad. Just… prepared and responsible. Like you’re a real adult.” Claudia’s eyes crinkled at the mock glare Elizabeth sent her way.

“I sometimes don’t know what to do with you.”

Claudia bit her lower lip to prevent herself from blurting, “I can think of a few things,” but Elizabeth’s gaze zeroing in on her mouth and them almost running into the glass doors of the office didn’t seem like much of an improvement.

They only had to wait ten minutes, and Claudia had just finished filling out the receptionist’s form when they were called into the back.

Tammy, their tech, chatted a mile a minute, and Claudia felt almost dizzy from the information she’d thrown her way. Perhaps she should take a leaf out of Elizabeth’s book and do more research, given Elizabeth nodded along, completely at ease. Then again, Claudia liked Elizabeth filling her in about the size and development stages of her child. God, she’d have a child.

Claudia swallowed hard and rubbed her clammy hands against her pants legs, settling on the chair.

“All good?” Elizabeth asked, stroking Claudia’s shoulder.

Claudia nodded, not trusting her voice as nausea step-danced in her stomach.

“All righty, are we ready?” Tammy held the ultrasound probe in the air, squirting gel on the top.

Claudia pulled up her sweater.

“Brace yourself, it’s going to be cold,” she said as she placed the sensor on Claudia’s belly.

Wincing at the cold and squishy wet sensation of the gel sliding over her stomach, Claudia turned her head toward the screen, nerves quickening along her skin as she tried to identify the swishy images.

Elizabeth’s fingers intertwined with hers, and Claudia’s heart swelled.

“Do you want to hear the heartbeat?” Tammy asked.

“Yes,” Claudia and Elizabeth said at the same time.

Tammy pressed a button, and a staticky, rapid thumping sound filled the room.

“Isn’t it too fast?” Claudia read the number of 153 with wide eyes.

“No, it’s perfectly normal,” Elizabeth answered before Tammy could reply.

Tammy smiled. “She’s right. No need to worry.”

“It doesn’t look much like a baby,” Claudia said after another moment, staring at the shifting white blob on the screen.

“No, but it’ll change soon. Will you guys want to know the sex during the anatomy scan at twenty weeks?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Claudia replied.

“We could inform your spouse and she could tell you whenever you want to know. That’s assuming you want to know,” Tammy addressed Elizabeth, whose eyes widened.

“Oh, we’re not—” Elizabeth stammered.

“Your partner, then.” Tammy smiled.

“We’ll see,” Claudia said.

“Of course. There’s still plenty of time. I just like to ask early on so you can think about it.”

“That’s a good idea.” Claudia squeezed Elizabeth’s hand as she still stood there frozen with wide eyes and slightly parted lips.

When they exited the clinic, Claudia sighed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“Huh?” Elizabeth looked at her as if she hadn’t heard a word in a while.

“Tammy and her assumption we’re married. Or a couple. I should’ve corrected her, but it seemed awkward, and I don’t know…”

“Well, at least she didn’t assume I’m your mother.”

Claudia grimaced. “Gross.”

“I agree.”

“You’re not mad?”

“I think we’ve already established my attitude about this over Thanksgiving.”

“Right.” Claudia ducked her head.

“I was just surprised. That’s all.”

“OK. So, do you want me to send you the recording of the heartbeat?”

“I’d love that.”

thoughtful consideration

The day after the scan, and after having listened perhaps a little too often to the heartbeat recording, Elizabeth still struggled to organize and understand her emotions. She had settled down for a meditative yoga routine, but so far, her attempts at emptying her mind were less than successful.

She’d made peace with the turmoil she’d first gone through after learning about Claudia’s pregnancy. No matter what, their friendship was unusual, in its origin at least, but it remained something she both desired and couldn’t resist. To be honest, she didn’t want to resist the pull between them since being with Claudia made her happy and content, which sometimes felt/seemed like a small miracle.

Elizabeth often felt so at ease around Claudia, yet this tension remained.

And that was to be the problem.

She didn’t know what to do with the emotional upheaval, the pressure in her chest, the restlessness, and her inability to focus on anything but Claudia and the baby. This hyper-focus was both thrilling and exhausting. Elizabeth didn’t consider it particularly healthy to be so consumed by another, but she’d also had enough life experience to know it wouldn’t last. Tension wasn’t sustainable for long periods of time. No matter how or where it arose, it would eventually snap. If you held a paper cup, it would feel effortless at first—light, nearly weightless. But if you stretched your arm out and held it there for a minute, two minutes, three minutes, the cup would grow heavier, the strain building with each passing second. At some point, you’d have to let go.

Non one could maintain tension indefinitely—whether physical nor emotional. The body always demanded a return to equilibrium. And so such, Elizabeth wasn’t worried about her preoccupation in the long run.

No, it came down to her ridiculous infatuation with Claudia. It had taken her too long to understand, but to be fair, she could’ve hardly seen it coming given her life history and what lay between them. The issue didn’t even rest in Claudia being a woman, nor in their different social standings. The age difference and the baby, however, were of significant concern.

Age didn’t matter with friendships, as the expectations were different. But in a romantic relationship—which also assumed Claudia would even be interested in Elizabeth like that—age seemed pretty damn important, at least with an age difference putting you into different generations.

The things Claudia might still want out of life, and how she’d go about it, not to mention, the child—Elizabeth wasn’t sure she could fulfill such needs. Children changed everything, and though Elizabeth didn’t know this from personal experience, it was a mantra of all mothers she’d ever dealt with at her charity.

She was forty-six years old. It would be one thing to be Claudia’s best friend and play the fun auntie to the child, but if she were to enter a romantic relationship with Claudia, she would be involved in their daily lives. Not necessarily as a second parent—which was already a big assumption—but how could she be involved with someone and share their life and say, “Oh yeah, but the kid is on you?” Aside from being selfish and inconsiderate and all kinds of awful, no relationship could ever work out that way.

Elizabeth didn’t know, and so she felt immobilized. It was one thing to realize she might harbor romantic feelings for Claudia, then either accept them and move forward or suffocate them in infancy—poor phrasing aside—but knowing that pursuing Claudia meant stepping into an instant family gave her pause.

If she were to go there, she needed to be sure. Yes, yes, how arrogant to have those thoughts and worry without knowing for sure Claudia wanted her too. However, if she confessed her feelings and Claudia did reciprocate, only for Elizabeth to discover she couldn’t do it after all, she’d hurt her friend. And that was unacceptable.

So, Elizabeth vowed to first figure out if she’d want the life she’d inevitably lead with Claudia. Only then would she contemplate what to do next—if anything. All other potential objections against such a relationship were moot as the first one would topple the rest.

~ ~ ~

They kept up their regular interactions—things had slowed down a bit at work—and come Friday, Elizabeth invited Claudia over to continue watching Broken Time and to show off her new bedroom. Although this notion suddenly seemed daunting as well. She had yet to update Kat on all these changes, and so far, she consoled herself with the assurance she was considerate of Kat’s busy life and wasn’t intentionally keeping this development from her friend.

Elizabeth had been looking forward to spending time with Claudia outside the office—texting and chatting on the phone weren’t the same—but twenty minutes before Claudia was supposed to arrive, her vision blurred, and flashing lights appeared on the left side of her visual field. She’d hoped her prodrome symptoms of a stiff neck and suddenly feeling parched were false warnings, or that she’d have more time before the migraine would hit. Naturally, it would start right now, ruining the evening she’d been anticipating all week, and it was too late to cancel.

Claudia had started arriving a bit early for their meetings, and so Elizabeth figured she’d be here within the next ten to fifteen minutes. She groaned. While knowing Claudia wouldn’t be upset for needing to cancel or for having driven here in vain, she still felt awful, both for disappointing Claudia and for missing out on a night of togetherness.

The doorbell rang and Elizabeth cringed. She padded to the door and opened it. Before she could say more than “Hi,” Claudia frowned.

“What’s wrong? Are you OK?”

Elizabeth shook her head.

“What is it? How can I help?”

Elizabeth’s hand shot to her head.

“Oh, you have a migraine. All right, I’ve researched this the other day. May I come in?”

“You researched migraines?” Elizabeth’s voice broke.

“Yes, do you have any ginger?” Claudia walked further inside.

Bewildered, Elizabeth closed the door behind her.

“I’m not great at giving massages, so we’ll skip that, but I’ll make you some tea because you must drink enough. Have you tried sipping a caffeinated drink? I’ve read it can help, too. You should lie down in a dark, quiet room. Do you prefer hot or cold compresses?” Claudia placed her purse on the couch and strode into the kitchen.

Elizabeth remained rooted to the spot in the entry hall, still struggling to make sense of what was happening, while more dots sprang into her vision as her head pounded.

Claudia’s head popped out from around the kitchen door. “Why are you not lying down?”

“You’re staying?” Elizabeth rasped.

Claudia frowned. “Obviously. Go lie down.”

Still dazed, Elizabeth could only nod before retreating to her bedroom to rest.

What seemed like a minute later, Claudia put a steaming mug of tea on the coaster she’d placed on Elizabeth’s nightstand.

“I can’t see all of your bedroom in the dim light, but what I can see looks nice,” she spoke in a soft, low tone.

Elizabeth hummed.

“Do you want the cold or hot compress? You never answered.”

“Cold,” Elizabeth said. Even though goosebumps already pebbled her skin, cool compresses numbed the pain at least a little.

“All right.” Claudia handed her an ice pack draped in a towel. “I hope that’s OK. If not, I can also wrap ice cubes or get a wet towel.”

“No. I usually use this,” Elizabeth croaked, putting the ice pack around her neck. She hissed.

“What is it?”

“I’m so cold.”

“Oh.” Claudia looked around the bedroom before focusing again on Elizabeth. “How about you get under the covers?”

She grunted before shifting and with Claudia’s help, who lifted the covers, she slid beneath the blanket. “Thank you,” she whispered.

“No worries.”

“You can leave anytime.”

“I know, but I’d like to stay and make sure you’re all right, if you don’t mind.”

“Sorry I’ve ruined tonight.”

“Nonsense. I just want you to feel better.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ll be right outside, OK?”

“Stay,” Elizabeth mumbled after a moment of stillness.

“Yes. I’m staying.”

“No, here. With me.” Her eyelids drooped shut before she forced them open. “Please.”

“As you wish.” Claudia made to sit in the sofa chair standing against the wall when Elizabeth reached out and trailed her fingers down her arm.

“With me.”

“Oh, all right. You mean on the bed, yes?” Claudia’s voice caught.

“Mmhmm.”

“Let me turn off the light fully first.”

Elizabeth nodded and closed her eyes. She sighed in relief when the room went completely dark.

A moment later, the mattress dipped, and Claudia settled next to her.

“There are clothes in the drawer over there,” she slurred.

Claudia’s “Just go to sleep,” was the last thing Elizabeth registered before drifting off.

~ ~ ~

When Elizabeth woke up, her migraine had receded to a dull throb she could easily manage. She stretched, startling upon realizing she wasn’t alone in her bed. She jerked upright and glanced at the person curled up on top of the blanket next to her. Claudia. She had to be so cold.

Memories of the previous night rushed through Elizabeth’s mind, and she once more felt touched by Claudia’s care and affection.

She’d stayed with her.

Elizabeth rose and pulled out a blanket from her closet, covered Claudia with it before leaving the room to prepare breakfast. She hoped Claudia didn’t have any plans today so they could spend more time together.

Half an hour later, the scents of freshly brewed coffee, bacon, eggs, and grits seemed to draw a sleepy Claudia out of the bedroom.

Elizabeth smiled at the sight—the tousled hair, squinty eyes, and the snug t-shirt revealing a sliver of skin between the hem and the waistband of her sweatpants. “Good morning. I hope you’re hungry.”

“Morning. Starved, actually.” She hummed. “You made coffee.”

“It’s decaf,” Elizabeth said.

Claudia’s eyes widened. “That’s thoughtful. Thank you.”

“I also have an assortment of herbal teas, if you prefer.” She’d recently purchased chamomile tea as Claudia had been drinking that lately.

“Oh, great. I’ll go with a decaf for now, though.”

“Help yourself. Will you have some of everything?” Elizabeth pointed at the stove.

“Yes. Thank you. The coffee same as always?”

“Just black for now. The mugs are over there.” She pointed at a cupboard. “Though you figured that out last night. Thank you. I appreciate your help.”

Claudia waved her off. “Of course.” She retrieved two cups and filled them with coffee while Elizabeth plated their food and brought it to the table.

They ate mostly in silence, keeping any conversation light, and overall, Elizabeth enjoyed the quiet domestic atmosphere of their togetherness.

When they were done, Claudia set to clear the table.

“You don’t have to. You’re a guest.”

“Well, you made breakfast and you’ve just had a migraine. So, yes, while I may not have to do this, I want to help.”

“All right. What are your plans for the rest of the day?”

“I don’t have any,” Claudia replied, loading the dishwasher.

Elizabeth bit her lower lip. “Me neither. Want to stay here and do nothing?”

“Sounds like a perfect plan.”

of cats and bricks

After taking a quick shower and once more dressed in Elizabeth’s clothes, Claudia joined her friend in the living room.

Raji lay cuddled up next to Elizabeth, cleaning himself.

Claudia had almost tripped over the little beast last night in the kitchen as she’d prepared Elizabeth’s tea. She’d given him a few treats, and he’d seemed receptive, even rubbing against her leg for a hot second.

“How did you come up with the name Raji?” Claudia asked, preening a little when the demon cat (no, she’d never call him that out loud around Elizabeth because she wanted to live) not only allowed her to pet him, but even pushed his little head into her palm. A far cry from almost breaking her neck last night or the hissing distance he’d held the first time Claudia had visited Elizabeth. Bribery for the win. Would that work with Raji’s owner, too? She refrained from pulling at the collar of her shirt.

“Oh,” Elizabeth mumbled, frowning.

“Never mind. I didn’t realize there’s a sad story behind it.”

“No, no. I don’t believe anyone has ever asked me about it, and Kat knows the story, so there wasn’t a need to…” She smiled. “He likes you now.”

“Yeah, he tried to murder me last night, but we established a truce after some tuna treat bribery.”

“Raji’s affection can’t be bought.”

Claudia held back a smile. “Of course not.”

Elizabeth glared at her. “Don’t make fun of me.”

“I’m not! I swear. It’s… Your devotion to Raji is adorable.”

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes. “I’m almost twenty years older than you, and you’re calling me adorable?”

“As you like to say, ‘If the shoe fits.’”

Elizabeth chuckled before sobering. “I told you I grew up in England, and that my family weren’t, or aren’t, particularly loving people. Their idea of family revolves more around reputation and public perception.”

Claudia nodded, still entranced by being allowed to pet Raji without being nipped at or clawed.

“My nan was different, and I spent as much time with her as I could. Next door to her lived an Indian family who was…the opposite of mine. They were so warm and affectionate, and they had a little boy who became my best friend. We’d play together for hours. He wanted to marry me.” Elizabeth’s expression grew wistful.

“He sure started early.”

“I told him I would, but first we needed to finish school.”

“Very reasonable of you.”

Elizabeth swatted Claudia’s arm. “Hush.”

Raji’s gaze shifted between Elizabeth and Claudia before he rose and sashayed away, plopping down near the backdoor and stretching out in a sunbeam.

“You made him leave!” Claudia pouted.

“Aww, who’d have thought you’d take to my demon cat?”

Claudia blanched. Instead of words, only dissonant sounds spilled from her lips. She’d merely muttered the accusation when he’d almost made her trip. How had Elizabeth heard it?

Elizabeth pushed a strand of Claudia’s chestnut hair behind her ear. “You’re lucky I like you.”

“I’m sorry. He’s not really a demon cat, but you know—”

“It’s fine. Raji is an acquired taste, and an excellent judge of character.”

Claudia’s shoulders sagged, and she sighed. Crisis averted.

“It’s sweet of you to try to get along with him. It…it means a lot to me, and not because I love cats.”

Claudia nodded, wondering how wise it would be to meander farther down this road.

“Anyway. We had spent three blissful years together, playing and living the way only children can—fully and without worry. Then Raji…” She shook her head. “He got sick. They didn’t know what it was for the longest, and by the time they found out, it was too late. It ravaged him. I didn’t understand what was going on, but… They let me say goodbye. I’ll forever be grateful.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“I know. I’m sorry you went through this, and that Raji…passed.”

“Thank you. The last time I talked to him, he told me our marriage won’t work out but…if I came across a tiny gray cat with black spots on his belly, to name him Raji.” She wiped her eyes.

Claudia’s eyes widened. “But that’s…” She pointed at Raji who’d by now rolled on his back, sleeping and revealing the black spots littering his belly.

“I know. I found him one night after I came home from an event. He was so tiny, stumbling across the street toward my house. He could barely walk. I picked him up and brought him inside.”

“Wow. That’s crazy.”

“It was dark, so I didn’t get a good look at him at first, and I wasn’t thinking of his coloring or anything. I needed to get him warm and fed.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t have a cat already.”

“Oh, Domino had passed a month before I found baby Raji. He’d been with me for six years. I’d adopted him at the shelter when he was already nine. His previous owner had abandoned him, and I… I used to volunteer at animal shelters, and so…”

Claudia suppressed the urge to reach out and hug Elizabeth. She looked so small sitting next to her.

“I brought Raji to the vet the next day, and he’s been with me ever since. Once I saw the black spots on his stomach…” She shrugged.

“How long ago was all this?”

“About eight years.” Elizabeth’s gaze rested fondly on the, by now, snoring Raji.

“I’m glad he found you.”

“You’re sweet.”

Claudia averted her gaze.

Doing nothing turned into relaxing on the couch, each lost in a book. Eventually, they ordered food, and while eating, they watched a cooking show—one of those competition types teta liked to watch.

“My grandma makes a lot of snide remarks during these shows,” Claudia said.

“She is quite the cook, if Thanksgiving is anything to go by,” Elizabeth said.

“True.”

“It’s always harder to watch something you’re good at, or if it’s your profession. Kat hates shows about acting and her remarks are often quite scathing.”

“Makes sense, but I like cooking shows.”

Elizabeth’s brows rose. “Really? Because there are knives?”

“Ha ha. Something doesn’t have to involve true crime for me to enjoy it. May I remind you of my affinity for Broken Time?”

“I thought it was a rare exception because of eye candy.”

“I’m not that shallow.” Claudia suppressed a pout.

“Have you seen the Halloween specials of some of these cooking shows? Their displays are quite…bloody.”

“Will you let that go?”

“I’m serious! They are good. It’s fascinating what they can do. I enjoy cooking and find it relaxing. But all the timed, high-stakes business on these shows would give me hives.” Elizabeth shuddered.

“You crack under pressure, huh?”

“Shouldn’t I still be enjoying a reprieve from insults given a debilitating headache almost killed me last night?” Elizabeth sniffed.

“Wow. Yes, of course. I was teasing, mind you, not insulting you. I’d never. Raji would be liable to murder me if I dared to insult his human.”

Elizabeth seemed to suppress a small smile. “I’m glad you understand.”

After a beat. “Did you know cats have eaten their owners’ eyeballs after they’re dead?”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened. “What?”

“Like if you die at home alone with your cat and no one finds you for a while. There’ve been cases of cats starting to…snack on their owners.”

Elizabeth groaned. “The regrets! We’re watching something as harmless as a cooking show, and yet you brought it back to murder, death, and now you even involved cats!”

Claudia shot Elizabeth an abashed smile. “I’m sorry. It just entered my mind, and I mentioned before I tend to just blurt out my random thoughts, well, when I’m comfortable enough in the presence of…whoever I’m around.” Claudia cringed. Why was she like this sometimes?

“I’m glad you’re comfortable in my home and around me, and I don’t mind your commentary, but I’d prefer less knowledge of cats and murder, especially as a combination.”

“You know, I never said you were murdered in such a scenario.”

“Claudia?”

“Yes?”

“Don’t make me throw this pillow at you.”

Claudia smiled, aware Elizabeth wasn’t truly upset, but she still made a note to keep facts about gruesome incidents involving cats to herself. Pillows could be filled with bricks, after all.

stunning and tongue-tied

Elizabeth had been insanely busy with preparations for the Christmas dinner taking place Friday evening. She’d invited Claudia to attend, as she wanted her to meet Kat and their friend, Lena. Claudia had been reluctant, pointing out she’d be taking up space another sponsor would pay for, and had outright refused Elizabeth’s offer to pay for her plate to ease her guilt.

People were so sensitive about money, and Elizabeth knew she could be a bit of a bulldozer there. Not to say she believed all problems could be solved with money, but she never gave it much thought. As in, if money helped get what she wanted or needed, why wouldn’t she spend it?

Aware her take originated from a privileged position, Elizabeth still fell into the habit quite often. After she argued that as an employee of Helping Hands, Claudia would be representing the company, Claudia had acquiesced, admitting her curiosity had gotten the better of her. Elizabeth was pleased.

In the week leading up to the event, she and Claudia only saw each other in passing, with no after-hour meetings, since they finished work quite late. Elizabeth loathed the idea of adding to the increased exhaustion Claudia experienced. Still, the reduced contact between them annoyed Elizabeth.

She didn’t blame Claudia or anything. Those were the times, but she missed their interactions, which once again brought her conundrum to the forefront of her mind. She’d been thinking about it almost non-stop—how to move forward (if there even was a forward) and how she could best figure out if Claudia would be interested in her without making things awkward. Elizabeth supposed if she ever figured that out, she’d add to her already substantial wealth, given how many people would pay good money for such an answer.

She had even contemplated asking Kat for advice, but they’d only spoken briefly since Kat’s show was wrapping up the latest season. Elizabeth did mention she’d been watching the show with Claudia, which seemed to have pleased Kat quite a bit.

Wednesday evening, Claudia called her frantically. “I just realized I have nothing to wear! What’s the dress code? How fancy does it have to be? Where am I supposed to get a dress now? Or should I wear a suit? I’d be more comfortable in a suit, but maybe that’s inappropriate. What about shoes? I should just stay home.”

“Breathe! I’m surprised you didn’t pass out after that stream of words.”

“This is serious!”

“Indeed. Give me a few minutes. I’ll call you right back.”

“OK?”

Elizabeth chuckled and hung up. She called Susana, owner of a downtown boutique, and after a few pleasantries, asked if they could stop by tomorrow afternoon. Once she got the confirmation, she called Claudia back.

“Hi. So what happened over the last…ten minutes?” Claudia greeted.

“We have an appointment with my friend Susana tomorrow at her store.”

“And this Susana has a solution for my problems?”

“I don’t know all your problems, dear, but we’ll get you an outfit there.”

“Ha ha, you’re not funny.”

“I suppose the truth isn’t amusing to everyone,” Elizabeth said.

“I’m glaring at you, just so you know.”

“Noted.”

“I still have one problem left,” Claudia said.

“Oh?”

“If your friend Susana is anything like your friend Shani, I’m guessing the outfit will be way out of my price range.”

“We get a discount.”

“That likely won’t change much.”

“You didn’t let me buy your dinner plate, so I should be allowed to cover the outfit.”

“Elizabeth!”

“Oh, hush. It won’t hurt me, and considering I’m dragging you into this mess, it’s only fair I cover your costs.”

“I’m not sure most people would find it a hardship to attend a celebrity-studded affair.”

“Good thing you’re not most people.”

“There’s that,” Claudia said.

~ ~ ~

By the time they made it to the boutique, it was all but closing time, so Susana ushered them inside and locked up behind them.

“Liz, it’s so good to see you.” She hugged Elizabeth, who returned the embrace.

“Likewise. Susana, this is my friend, Claudia, who’s in need of an outfit for tomorrow.

Susana shook Claudia’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“Hi. Thank you for seeing me on such short notice.”

“No worries. So, let’s see. You’re quite tall.”

Elizabeth suppressed a smile while Claudia seemed to stifle an eyeroll.

“So I’ve been told.”

“Dress or suit?”

“Either. I’m open to suggestions,” Claudia replied.

“All right, we can try different outfits and see what you like best. Liz, lead the way. I’ll select a few choices and bring them to you.”

Elizabeth nodded and put her hand against the small of Claudia’s back to guide her toward the back room.

“Wait. Don’t you need my size?” Claudia called after Susana, who turned and smiled.

“No need. I’ve seen you.”

Claudia’s eyes widened, focusing on Elizabeth again. “I’d ask where you meet those people, but then again…”

“Indeed. Come along.”

They settled in the dressing room and waited for Susana who reappeared less than five minutes later.

“Here we go. Let’s try this first.” She handed Claudia a dress made of burgundy velvet. “You can change right in there. Come outside when you’re ready. There’s a bigger mirror back there.” Susana pointed behind her.

“Thank you.” And with that, Claudia disappeared into the dressing room.

Susana sat next to Elizabeth.

“Isn’t red a bit cliché for Christmas?” Elizabeth asked.

“Perhaps, but her complexion will make the color look stunning.”

“You’re the expert.”

When Claudia exited the dressing room a little later, Elizabeth inhaled sharply. Claudia looked gorgeous. The dress’s fabric shimmered in the light, making Claudia look like she was glowing. “That’s…”

“It’s a good look, but something’s missing.” Susana rose and stepped closer to Claudia. “Turn around.”

Claudia spun until she once more faced them.

“What do you think?” Susana asked.

Striding toward the mirror, Claudia shrugged. “It’s more comfortable than I expected, but…”

“Yes. I agree.”

Elizabeth wondered what they agreed on as her brain still searched for the reboot button.

“Elizabeth?” Claudia turned to her.

“It’s nice.” She refrained from closing her eyes. What’s wrong with you?

“Try the blue one.” Susana held out an azure silk dress.

“OK.” Once more, Claudia headed to the dressing room.

“You’re awfully quiet.” Susana sat back down next to Elizabeth.

“It’s her choice, isn’t it?”

“Of course, but that’s never stopped you from offering an opinion.”

“Perhaps I don’t want to influence her.”

Susana smiled, seemingly accepting Elizabeth’s argument. For now, at least.

The blue dress, while beautiful, appealed to none of them. Its form didn’t do Claudia’s figure any justice.

“All right. Let’s try the suit.”

Once more, Claudia disappeared to change. When she returned, Elizabeth gasped, her fingers tightening on the leather armrest of her chair.

Claudia wore an exquisite black suit with a subtle sheen of burgundy, making it both sophisticated and refined. The carefully tailored outfit fit her tall and slender figure, giving her an effortlessly chic look. The overall effect was one of timeless grace. She paired the suit with a crisp white shirt, and Elizabeth assumed black heels would complement the outfit.

“That’s it, don’t you agree, Liz?”

Elizabeth could only nod.

“Now, about the hair.” Susana tapped her finger against her lips. “We could go with a neat bun to further emphasize the classic style. I’m picturing her with a small black clutch, and a delicate silver necklace. That will add a touch of finesse to the ensemble. I might have a purse that would fit. Liz, don’t you own such a necklace?”

“Uh…” Claudia stammered.

“You don’t like the bun idea?” Susana canted her head. “Your hair seems glossy and smooth. We could also have it cascading down your back with the ends lightly curled, giving it all a polished, elegant look.”

Elizabeth blinked furiously as both images only reinforced her stupor.

“What do you ladies think?” Susana’s gaze drifted between Elizabeth and Claudia.

That I wish I was here with her alone. Elizabeth shook her head.

“You don’t like it?” Claudia sounded dejected.

“No, no. It’s…striking. Uh, both hairstyles would suit you. So, go with what you’re more comfortable with.”

“I want to wear my hair down. I like the curls idea.”

Elizabeth swallowed hard.

“Good. Now, about the necklace, Liz?”

~ ~ ~

As soon as they entered Elizabeth’s foyer, Raji greeted them with a pitiful meow before running toward his food bowl which had the audacity to stand half empty.

“Let me feed him quickly before I get the necklace. Do you mind waiting?”

“No. That’s fine.”

“Go make yourself comfortable. I’ll be right back.”

Claudia nodded and strode toward the living room with an assurance that made Elizabeth falter and stare after her.

Elizabeth took a deep breath before heading toward her bedroom. How wise had it been to ask Claudia for an early nightcap? She’d rolled her eyes at herself when she’d asked the question, but still told herself it would be easier to give Claudia the necklace Susana mentioned tonight rather than in a rush tomorrow, given how busy they’d both be.

She still felt overwhelmed by the dress fitting. Elizabeth had been aware of Claudia’s beauty when they first met, but she’d never been this distracted by it. She decided she would avoid looking at Claudia during her speech tomorrow.

Staring at the silver necklace in her hands, she rubbed her thumb over the links before dragging herself back to the living room. To her complete exasperation, she wanted to spend more time with Claudia, but her trembling hands and the rapid pulse drumming in her neck left her feeling untethered and…strangely weak, causing her to dawdle.

“Hey. I thought for a moment you’d gotten lost,” Claudia said when Elizabeth joined her in the living room, pausing at seeing Raji cuddled up next to her on the couch.

“In my own home?”

“Stranger things. It’s a big house.”

“He seems quite taken by you.” Elizabeth sat down next to her.

Claudia petted Raji’s head. “As I’ve said, I tend to grow on people…”

“Raji is people now?”

Claudia chuckled. “Aren’t cats like…not babies, but companions to people who love them?”

“I’m not sure I can speak for all cat lovers.” Elizabeth dipped her head, afraid of getting lost in Claudia’s warm, dark gaze.

“So modest. You’ve been quiet tonight.”

At that, Elizabeth raised her head and caught Claudia’s gaze after all. “I’m sorry. I suppose there’s a lot going on.”

Claudia smiled. “I get it. But please don’t apologize. You’re fine however you are.”

Elizabeth pressed her lips together, not daring to reply—too afraid of the words that might spill from her lips. Instead, she held up the necklace. “Here.”

“Oh, it’s beautiful.” Claudia reached out and traced the line resting in Elizabeth’s hand.

Elizabeth stilled as an odd tension overtook her.

“Should I try it on?”

“Sure.”

Claudia directed another, almost blinding smile at Elizabeth before turning around. “Will you put it on?” She moved her hair to the side, baring her neck.

Elizabeth clenched her jaw. Yes, inviting Claudia over tonight had been a spectacularly bad idea. Her hands trembled while her heart pelted in her chest. Ridiculous. How old are you?

“Yes, of course,” she husked, closing her eyes. She had not meant to sound like this. God, help her.

with rude candor

Claudia had made the mistake of telling her parents she was attending the Christmas charity dinner with Elizabeth. Her mother was bursting with excitement, and teta acted like this was the event of Claudia’s life. She wasn’t sure if they were rooting for professional networking, romantic prospects, or both—just not together. And, at this point, Claudia had accepted the reality: she wanted the latter—with Elizabeth.

Elizabeth had told her to be ready by six-thirty as she’d pick her up. What she’d neglected to tell Claudia was she’d do so in a limousine. At least her parents didn’t see it. When she entered the car (after getting her hair and make-up done by another one of Elizabeth’s friends), she almost choked on her greeting as she dropped into the seat.

Fortunately, she first encountered Elizabeth’s outfit while sitting. She’d donned what seemed to be a floor-length charcoal gray evening gown with a thin burgundy belt cinched around her waist. The dress had a low neckline and long sleeves with intricate beading along the edges. She’d accessorized with a diamond necklace and earrings. Elizabeth wore her brown hair pulled up in a tight bun and she’d added a pair of matching diamond bangles on her wrists.

Elizabeth’s soft, silver eyeshadow complemented her dress, and her deep-red painted lips made her eyes pop. Her contoured cheeks gave her face a natural glow, and her mascara added a sense of depth to her lashes. Claudia was mesmerized and could only stare at Elizabeth.

“Hi,” she finally managed to say, flushing at how breathless she sounded. “You look amazing.”

“Thank you. You’re quite stunning yourself. How are you feeling? Ready to mingle and have fun?”

Claudia chuckled. “Thanks. Not really. I’m good, though. Feeling very expensive. My hair has never looked so nice. Marla is a true artist.”

“She is. Still, an artist can only work with the canvas they have in front of them.”

Claudia ducked her head. She often didn’t know what to say to some of Elizabeth’s comments. Surely, she had to be aware of how it sounded. Could you keep flirting and not realize it?

When they arrived at the venue, Claudia’s heart pumped fast, and she had to refrain from clenching and unclenching her hands as she walked the red carpet next to Elizabeth. They met up with Kat, who embraced Elizabeth with a huge smile on her face. With her pale skin, dark auburn hair, and classical features, Kat looked even more attractive in person than on the screen. Not that Claudia would comment on this.

Elizabeth introduced them, and for a second, Claudia was so distracted by Kat’s rich voice, her own reply of “Nice to meet you,” came a bit late.

Kat and Elizabeth stood for several pictures, soon joined by Lena Geiger. Claudia managed to avoid making a fool of herself, though she’d initially worried she wouldn’t be able to string two words together around her favorite tennis player. After another round of introductions, they headed inside.

Claudia’s steps faltered a bit as she first spied the decorations. She gazed at tables adorned with festive centerpieces and poinsettias, her gaze then drawn to the twinkling lights and evergreen garlands hanging along the walls. A grand Christmas tree stood in the corner, decked with sparkling ornaments and fairy lights. They strode along a red carpet lining the entrance, where servers welcomed the guests with a warm Christmas drink.

A mix of traditional Christmas songs and modern renditions played softly in the background, enhancing the festive and relaxed atmosphere. Claudia couldn’t say what she’d expected inside, but it wasn’t this warm or comfortable. She should have known better, though, given all she’d learned about Elizabeth over the last few months.

As the night progressed, the guests settled in for dinner. Elizabeth had hired a team of professional chefs to prepare both traditional Christmas dishes and a few gourmet selections. So far, Claudia had spotted roasted turkey, steamed vegetables, potatoes in various forms, risotto, tamales, lobster bisque, and filet mignon. She couldn’t decide what to eat—everything looked delicious—and she still needed to save room for dessert.

As they walked past the tables, Claudia smiled, noting Elizabeth had also arranged for vegetarian options: vegetable tartlets, squash risotto, roasted portobello mushrooms, and sautéed spinach.

Personally, Claudia was most interested in the dessert table, where she had already spotted chocolate truffles and berry tarts. There were also more festive treats like spiced gingerbread and peppermint cheesecake, but tonight, chocolate would hit the spot.

Claudia didn’t feel shy, though part of her remained a bit dazed. She wasn’t sure if her surroundings, the mixture of rich people and celebrities were to blame, or the fact that she couldn’t take her eyes off Elizabeth. She was a vision tonight. Still, Claudia realized she preferred her in casual homewear, like when they’d lounged at Elizabeth’s all day.

After dinner, Elizabeth gave a brief speech, thanking their generous supporters and highlighting recent successes and new initiatives for Helping Hands. Claudia loved hearing Elizabeth speak—not only could she listen to her voice all day, but seeing her like this, in her element, she was luminous.

When the raffle started, they introduced several items donated by the attending celebrities. Claudia couldn’t blame the woman who did a cheerful dance after winning a tennis racket signed by Lena Geiger. The beautiful silver necklace donated by Kat also appeared to delight an older woman who rushed up to accept her prize. Claudia hadn’t heard of Patrick Sterne, but the man who won the signed copy of his latest book seemed quite pleased, though not as happy as the woman who won the guitar Alina Ciane had donated. She feared the woman was a second away from passing out from sheer excitement.

Claudia had spent most of the evening so far, not on the outskirts, but still somewhat away from the main action, and instead, she had watched her surroundings—the meet and greet of rich people with various celebrities—picturing her mom and teta’s reaction to it all, and how cool and collected Sammy would be in such a setting.

After the raffle, wine and champagne kept flowing as the guests mingled again, and Claudia’s attempt to once more draw back was foiled.

“Claudia Khouri. Elizabeth has told me a lot about you,” Kat’s voice graveled as she stepped up next to Claudia, a glass of champagne in her hand.

Claudia smiled sheepishly. “She’s told me about you, too.”

Kat chuckled. “Are you enjoying yourself?”

“It’s not too bad, but to be honest, I’d rather be home.”

“Most people pay a lot of money to be here.”

“True. I’d prefer donating without having to attend something so…”

“Showy?” Kat asked.

“Yeah. I suppose. No offense. I’m assuming, given your profession, this is your normal, but it’s not my thing.”

“Why are you here then?”

“Elizabeth invited me.”

“I suppose we have that in common,” Kat said.

“You don’t enjoy such events either?”

Kat shrugged. “I don’t hate them. But this is my free time, and if it had been anyone else’s event, I’d have told them to go kick rocks, not flown halfway across the country on one of my rare full weekends off.”

Claudia nodded. “She seems to have that effect on people.”

“True, true.”

Claudia continued chatting with Kat, but her gaze kept drifting to Elizabeth, glued to the way the charcoal gown hugged her curves.

At one point, Elizabeth noticed her staring and she smiled, as if she knew exactly what was on Claudia’s mind.

She dropped her gaze to the floor, her cheeks growing warm.

“You seem quite taken by Liz, if I may be so bold.” Kat’s blue-gray eyes twinkled.

Claudia wanted to distract, to deny, to make a joke, but a wave of determination rushed over her, and she straightened, catching Kat’s gaze. “Yes. Can you blame me?”

Kat laughed. “Look at you. Not so much the shy, intimidated girl I thought you were.”

Claudia’s eyes narrowed. “I’m not a girl.”

Kat raised her glass. “I believe it.” She glanced at Elizabeth before turning back to Claudia. “Our Liz won’t know what hit her.”

Just then, Elizabeth turned, her gaze meeting Claudia’s. A radiant smile spread across her face before she nodded and continued her conversation with Lena.

“Wow. Or perhaps she will,” Kat mumbled, chuckling as she sipped her champagne.

Claudia’s pulse hammered in her neck as she watched Elizabeth, so full of energy and life, breathtakingly beautiful—it almost hurt. She wanted to move, but her feet felt like lead. All she could do was stand there, heart trembling, drinking in the sight of Elizabeth.

She didn’t know how much longer she could suppress her feelings. She wanted to run to Elizabeth and confess everything. While that wasn’t possible right now, she knew something had to give. For the first time, she wondered if this infatuation wasn’t as one-sided as she’d thought. And if that was the case, well, then all bets were off.

As the evening wound down, Claudia realized she’d lost sight of Elizabeth and began scanning the room distractedly.

“She left,” Lena Geiger pointed out as she joined Kat and Claudia at the table they’d commandeered earlier.

Claudia sighed. Was she that obvious? But wait… “She left her own event? Without me?”

Lena smiled. “No. She just went out on a balcony to get a little breather. She does that sometimes. These parties are quite taxing on her.”

“Makes sense.”

“Someone should check on her.” Kat seemed to hide a smile behind her glass.

“She’ll be fine,” Lena said before turning to chat with another guest.

“Go little grasshopper. Make sure our friend is all right. I can see you’re itching to ditch us.”

Claudia glowered at her. “Are you ever not blunt?”

Kat shrugged. “I don’t believe in coddling people’s delicate feelings. I’d rather get to the point.”

“I suppose most are willing to overlook rudeness when it comes from such a beautiful countenance.”

Kat’s eyebrows rose before she laughed, a low, throaty rumble. “Get going.”

Claudia rose and once more looked around.

“Just around the corner.” Kat picked up her glass again.

“Thank you.” Claudia stepped away.

As she strode up the stairs to the balcony, Claudia felt Elizabeth’s gaze on her before she fully saw her.

“I see you found me.” Elizabeth’s intense stare unnerved Claudia for a moment before she shook it off.

Taking a deep breath, Claudia kept walking until she reached the balustrade, her heart pounding. “I didn’t realize you wanted to be found.”

“And yet you did.”

Claudia smiled. “A little rude bird told me how to get here.”

Elizabeth’s brows furrowed before she chuckled. “I’m assuming you mean Kat?”

“She called me a grasshopper!”

Elizabeth snorted. “It means she likes you.”

“So she’s only rude to people she likes?”

“Oh, no. She’s rude to everyone if the mood strikes. Although she can also be incredibly charming and diplomatic when needed.”

“I believe it.” Nerves once more skittered through Claudia. They’d never approached the topic, but then again, how or when? Maybe Claudia was wrong and misinterpreted all the signs, only seeing what she wished to see. Would it damage their friendship?

“What are you worried about? Was anyone rude to you?” Elizabeth drew closer.

“What? Oh, no. I mean, aside from your best friend.”

Elizabeth waved her off. “Kat doesn’t count. She reads people well enough and doesn’t dish out more than they can handle.”

“Good to know.”

“So?”

Claudia tilted her head, holding Elizabeth’s inquisitive, focused gaze.

“What has you so worried?” Elizabeth raised her hand and pushed a strand of Claudia’s hair behind her ear.

Shivering at the barely-there touch, Claudia leaned into the gesture.

They stared at each other, drifting imperceptibly closer.

Elizabeth’s gaze dipped to Claudia’s lips.

Before Claudia could lean in, Elizabeth surged forward and claimed her lips, seeming to savor the contact before pressing closer and wrapping her arms around Claudia.

Claudia gasped; her eyelids fluttered shut as the softness of Elizabeth’s lips found hers. Warmth spread through her body, and she eagerly reciprocated as Elizabeth deepened the kiss. She raised her hands and cupped Elizabeth’s cheeks, her fingers tingling at the contact, at finally being this close to Elizabeth.

Elizabeth’s breathing sped up, and her fingers dug into Claudia’s back.

Claudia tasted the sweet flavor of Elizabeth’s lipstick before she lost herself in her heady taste as their kiss continued to grow in intensity. She pushed Elizabeth back until the banister of the balcony anchored them in place.

Elizabeth’s grip tightened.

Claudia’s hands roamed over Elizabeth’s body as she sucked at her tongue. A tremble raced through Elizabeth’s frame, making Claudia even more lightheaded.

Elizabeth broke their kiss with a groan and pressed her hands against Claudia’s chest, putting some space between them.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

“Hush.” Elizabeth pressed her index finger against Claudia’s lips. “I’m only stopping us from getting carried away.”

“Oh, right.” Claudia flushed.

“Perhaps we can continue this…conversation later tonight?”

“I’d like that,” Claudia said, not even embarrassed about the eagerness of her tone or her rapid nodding that made Elizabeth smile.

“Your eyes make it very hard to leave and return to my guests,” Elizabeth whispered, once more drawing closer, almost freezing Claudia to the spot with her fierce gaze.

“My eyes?”

“Your pupils are blown. And your lips… There’s a flush trailing down from your neck to your chest.” She traced a finger from Claudia’s cheek to her collarbone, ghosting over bare skin.

Claudia’s breath grew shallow while goosebumps unrelated to the weather formed. “If you plan on seeing your guests again tonight, you need to leave. Now.”

Elizabeth held Claudia’s hard gaze, nodding as she bit her lower lip.

Claudia groaned. “Go,” she croaked.

And at that, Elizabeth left with quick strides.

Claudia closed her eyes, releasing a heavy sigh. She couldn’t wait to get away from here. Did the limousine count as later tonight?

temptation foiled

Elizabeth shouldn’t be this hot in December, but for most of the evening and night she’d felt too warm, almost like burning up. While today had been a relatively warm day, it was still early December. Then the moment with Claudia on the balcony—a harbor of solitude she always sought on such occasions—had left her feeling like an inferno.

She’d been distracted during her final conversations and almost missed Kat asking her when they’d be leaving. In that moment, she recalled with a wave of regret—her suggestion to Claudia had been hasty.

“Soon. I just have to take care of something first,” Elizabeth replied before rushing off in search of Claudia. She spotted her near an alcove and hurried over, grasping her arm and dragging her out of sight.

“What the—”

“Shh,” Elizabeth whisper-shouted. “Kat is riding in the limo with us.”

“OK? Did you think I’d jump you as soon as the door closes? I might have, mind you, but I can read a room, or a car, and I’d not—”

“No, no. She’s staying with me for the weekend. I can’t…”

“Oh, all right. That’s… fine.”

It wasn’t. Elizabeth had been looking forward to spending time with Kat, yet that moment on the balcony… But there was no way she could bring Claudia home or go to her place now.

“We can just text, or talk on Monday, and see when we can… hang out next.”

“Shouldn’t we talk first?”

“No!” Claudia looked like she was barely stopping herself from stomping her foot. “You’ll just try to talk us out of this.”

“The fact that you’re against talking shows you think there might be an issue too.”

Claudia rolled her eyes and leaned closer. “It only means I know you well enough. Given the chance, you’ll come up with all these nonsense reasons why this is a terrible idea.”

“They aren’t—”

“Look, I know you have a mile-long list of why we won’t work, and I’ll counter every argument.”

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow, feeling both amusement and a tug of something deeper in the pit of her stomach.

“Let’s just see, OK? That moment on the balcony…” Claudia trailed off, her gaze drifting to Elizabeth’s mouth.

It was hard to resist closing the distance between them again. Arousal coiled in Elizabeth’s stomach at the memory of Claudia’s taste and feel in her arms.

“I liked it. A lot.”

“I did, too,” Elizabeth admitted.

“Good. So go have fun with Kat, and we’ll talk.”

“I thought you said we wouldn’t?”

“You’re not funny.” Claudia pouted.

“I beg to differ. Go say your goodbyes. We’re heading out in ten minutes,” Elizabeth said.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“That is not helping your case.” She shot Claudia a glare and left her standing alone in the alcove.

The car ride home—first dropping off Claudia and saying goodbye in an awkward mixture of a hug and kiss on the cheek—went without a hitch, and Kat held her tongue until they were home.

“Claudia, huh?” She joined Elizabeth in the kitchen after placing her carry-on and purse in the guestroom.

“What about her?”

“She’s nice.” Kat traced her fingers along the counter of the kitchen island.

Elizabeth sighed. “Indeed. Would you like a cup of coffee before heading to sleep? Or perhaps some tea?”

Kat smirked. “You know me too well. I’ll take a coffee, but maybe decaf this late.”

Elizabeth chuckled and set up the coffee maker.

“You’d make such a great wife,” Kat teased.

Elizabeth snorted. “Tell that to Tom.”

Kat sobered. “I’m sorry. That was insensitive.”

“It’s fine. I’m over it. It hasn’t been easy, but I’m happy with my current life, and while there might still be moments of wistfulness… I’m good. This feels right.”

“I’m glad.”

“And why wouldn’t I remember or make note of your coffee obsession? We’ve been friends for how long?”

“Too long.”

“Hey!”

Kat waved her off. “In relation to our ages. Saying the number only makes us sound old.”

Elizabeth laughed.

“So, what happened on the balcony tonight? I hope I wasn’t too forward in sending Claudia after you, but you both had been just ridiculous, and I thought a…helping hand might be needed.”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes, contemplating denial or evasion, but this was Kat, not only her best friend, but also someone who’d understand her more than anyone else she could talk to. “We kissed.”

“Yes!”

Elizabeth frowned. “You weren’t all that keen on Claudia when we talked on the phone.” She poured coffee into a mug and slid it toward Kat.

“That was before I met the earnest little grasshopper and saw how smitten she is with you! I already knew you were into her, so…” Kat pulled the cup closer and shrugged.

“What are you talking about?”

“She could hardly take her eyes off you all night. And come on, you should’ve heard yourself during our calls. Who is that preoccupied with a ‘friend’? It was always, ‘Claudia this, Claudia that.’”

Elizabeth flushed. “It’s still a terrible idea.”

“Why?”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened. “I’m not even fully divorced yet.”

“I thought it’s supposed to be finalized by the end of January?”

“Well, yes.”

Kat stared at Elizabeth. “So, you’re worried she’s a rebound? She’s young. She’ll bounce back if it were, and besides, I doubt she’s planning to move in with you tomorrow.” Kat took a sip of her coffee.

“I’m not callous. I wouldn’t want to hurt her, and if this were the case, I’d lose her friendship, too. Not to mention, I’m still her boss. So there are ethical concerns as well.”

“It didn’t stop you on the balcony. Besides, you never answered my question.”

“What question?”

“Is she a rebound?”

Elizabeth worried her lower lip. “No,” she croaked, pausing to stare contemplatively at Kat. “Do you want to hear something crazy?

“Sure.”

“Compared to Claudia, Tom seems like a rebound.”

“Well, shit.”

“Indeed. And that is the problem.”

“Because you think she’s not serious?”

“I don’t know. Again, she’s so young, and the work aspect…”

“You’re really hung up on the age thing. Maybe I’m just too used to being around age-gap relationships. They seem to happen so often in my business. Though usually it’s older men with younger women.”

“Yes, and how do you look at them? Don’t you think those guys are pathetic for chasing after them?”

“Are they chasing when they are together?”

“You know what I mean.”

Kat sighed. “It depends. Some couples are ridiculous. There was one guy, old school director, he was eighty-two when he married a twenty-three-year-old up-and-coming actress.”

Elizabeth cringed.

“True love comes in all shapes and sizes, and we shouldn’t always assume if an age gap is wide, something untoward or even predatory is going on.”

“She could be his grandchild!”

“Yes, and in this one case, it wasn’t a marriage of love, but both got what they wanted, and so, is it wrong?” Kat asked.

“I don’t know. But again, that’s not the case here.”

“No, it’s not. Now, if Claudia were nineteen or twenty, I’d be more skeptical. But she’s twenty-eight, and you’re—”

“Forty-six,” Elizabeth blurted out, her mind stuck on the years between them.

“Right. That’s still manageable.”

“But don’t we want different things out of life and are automatically doomed?”

“I don’t know. Do you? Shouldn’t this be a conversation you have with her?”

“I suppose.”

“As for the work thing, there has to be some kind of a solution that makes it less…terrible. Like some way that you aren’t her direct supervisor anymore.”

“I’m still in charge of the charity, so no matter what, she’ll always be under me,” Elizabeth pointed out.

Kat grinned and wiggled her eyebrows.

“Not like that!” Her cheeks flushed.

“You guys would have to trust each other there. If she wouldn’t believe that you’d not retaliate, you can forget moving forward, anyway.”

“True.”

“Isn’t the pregnancy a bigger issue?” Kat asked.

She closed her eyes. “Yes and no.”

Kat reclined against the backrest of the barstool. “Explain that some more.”

“Isn’t it late? We should get some sleep. We still need to shower, and I know how cranky you get when you don’t get enough sleep.”

“Now you’re evading and projecting. Wow. I rarely ever get enough sleep, and if anyone is turning into a grouch at not getting enough sleep, it’s you.”

Elizabeth grumbled. “It’s… I needed to be sure that if I went there with Claudia, which again assumes she’s into me too—”

“Oh, she is.”

Heat once more flooded Elizabeth’s cheeks. “Anyway. I wanted to be sure I’d be OK with it, with the pregnancy, with her having the baby, and—”

“Tom’s baby. I imagine this makes it even more complicated.”

“At first, yes. It was all too much. And for a while I withdrew, as you know. But I missed her more than I’d expected, and not having her in my life was worse. I saw her still at work, whenever I did go into the office, but it wasn’t the same. Besides, the child is Claudia’s baby in the end. I doubt Tom will want anything to do with them.”

“I agree, but you can’t have a relationship with someone just because you miss them when everything else is wrong.”

“Of course not. I wanted clarity, and I was heading that way, but then she had to wear that damned suit and look just so… Ugh.”

Kat laughed. “She did look quite appealing tonight.”

Elizabeth covered her face with her hands. “Don’t I know it.”

“So, what will you do?”

“Well, she wants to see where it goes, so I suggested we talk.”

“Oh, Liz. It’s too early to have such a conversation. Don’t scare her away.”

“You’re making my head spin. Sometimes you’re for it, and then against it, only to revert to supporting our…whatever is growing between us.”

Kat grasped one of Elizabeth’s hands. “Liz, listen. I’ll always support you. No matter what. I’m on your side, and I think you’re quite smitten with Claudia, and you’ve been strangely obsessed with her since the weird catfish text message exchange.” Her brows furrowed.

“It wasn’t about catfish, but—”

“Yes, yes. You like her.”

“I do.”

“And you’re attracted to her.”

“Apparently.”

“And you kissed a girl, and you liked it.”

“Oh my goodness, Kat. How old are you?”

Kat grinned. “Just see where it goes.”

“But so much is at stake! What if I’m wrong and I can’t handle a baby or things don’t fit after all, and we realize we make good friends but nothing more? What about work?”

Kat shrugged. “Then you split. Again, no one is proposing. You aren’t making a lifelong commitment by exploring what’s between you. You’re both grown-ups, so you’d also figure out the work thing after a break-up.”

“What if the sex is awful? What if I may have liked kissing her but I won’t enjoy sex with a woman?”

“I wouldn’t worry about it.”

“Don’t look so smug! It’s not… What if we don’t—”

“Again, you’re not—”

“Moving in together, yes. That’s your solution to everything.”

“It’s true. But let me ask you: If I hadn’t been here, and you guys would have been alone on the way back home in the limo, with the privacy screen up. Would you have just sat there talking?”

Elizabeth flushed as heat rushed through her and her stomach clenched. No. She’d had very distinct and detailed plans for Claudia.

“Yeah. That’s what I’m thinking, too. I wouldn’t worry about sex.” Kat emptied her coffee.

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes. No. She likely didn’t have to be concerned about sex, but she’d worry about everything else.

with gall and nerves

Sunday morning, Claudia scrolled through the blocked contacts on her phone, staring at Tom’s number, and wondering why she still recalled most of these digits. Her fingers hovered over the screen, but after a moment, and with a sigh, she unblocked his number and sent him a text.

We need to talk

Who is this? He wrote two minutes later.

Claudia scoffed. “The nerve.” She sent her name.

I don’t think that’s wise.

“Too bad, asshole.”

It’s important. I don’t want to discuss it over the phone.

We’re done.

“No shit.” Claudia hated having to deal with him, but he had a right to know, and this was something she wanted to take care of before her talk with Elizabeth. One more obstacle removed.

Indeed. I don’t want you back.

Fine. I’m out at a bar later tonight. Come by before, say at 6?

Claudia rolled her eyes. It would be helpful to know which bar.

She agreed and asked for the name of the place, which he sent back without further comment. Yay. She’d see Tom later at O’Malley’s.

She spent the rest of her Sunday morning cleaning before heading to her parents’ house for lunch. Beyond asking questions about Elizabeth and the gala, her mother inquired about Claudia’s plans for Christmas. Apart from dinner with her family on Christmas Eve and the next morning’s present exchange, she had none. To be fair, what was left of Christmas afterward?

The conversation returned her mind to Elizabeth—as if she needed outside input to linger on her. She could only hope Elizabeth wouldn’t talk herself out of whatever might be between them. Claudia also hoped Kat hadn’t ended up secretly hating her, and, as a result, spent the weekend discouraging Elizabeth. Although this assumed Elizabeth would bring up the kiss.

And when her mind drifted back to the kiss, she lost track of everything around her, prompting teta to suggest Claudia make an appointment with their ENT. But her distraction soon shifted to thoughts of her upcoming conversation with Tom—at a bar, of all places. How ironic. They’d kissed for the first time at a bar after meeting at that ill-fated alumni conference, and now she’d tell him she was pregnant at one. The circle of life, perhaps?

When she entered O’Malley’s a couple minutes after six, she swallowed hard against a wave of nausea twisting through her, forcing herself to focus on why she was here. Straightening, Claudia headed for the counter, spotting Tom at the far end.

“Hello.” Claudia sat down on the barstool next to him.

He nodded, taking a sip of his beer.

Claudia declined the bartender’s question to order anything.

“So?” Tom said after a moment of silence ticked by.

She hated doing this in public. Of course she had wanted Tom in her apartment even less. “I’m pregnant.”

Tom’s eyes widened. “Congratulations? Who’s the lucky guy?”

Claudia glared at him. “You.”

He coughed, slamming his bottle back on the counter. “I doubt that.”

“I’ve not been with anyone since you.”

“All I have is your word. And if you recall…” He leaned closer. “We always used protection.”

“Yes, but it’s not foolproof.”

“It’s not mine. Funny how you’ve waited months to tell me.”

Claudia sighed. She knew he’d react like this. “I won’t argue the truth just because you refuse to believe me.”

“What do you want? Money? My ex is already cleaning me out.”

Claudia suppressed a smile while internally cheering for Elizabeth. “Good for her.”

He grimaced.

“I just wanted you to know since it’s your baby, too.”

“Consider me informed. You can leave now.”

“We could do a paternity test once the baby is born.”

Tom shrugged. “I don’t care. Even if it’s mine, which I still doubt, I want nothing to do with the kid.”

“I figured. Don’t worry. I don’t want you in my child’s life either.”

“Then why are you here, if it’s not for money or leeching off my time and energy?”

“Wow. I don’t get what I ever saw in you.” Claudia rose. “Have a good life, Tom.”

He reached out and grabbed her arm. “Hey! You don’t get to complain when you come here trying to make me pay for a child that can’t be mine.”

Claudia snatched her arm back and inhaled deeply. “I don’t want your money. I suggested the paternity test as a courtesy so you can be sure the baby is yours. I already know that’s the case.”

“You’re up to something.” His self-assured smile looked ugly now when she’d considered it charming before.

“I only came here to let you know you’ll have a child. That’s it.”

He grunted. “I never wanted children. Can’t stand them.”

“Why didn’t you get a vasectomy? Or, you know, quit having sex with women.” She turned and left, not waiting for his reply. She’d done what she’d come for, and now she could tell Elizabeth that Tom wouldn’t be in their lives, although that assumed Elizabeth wanted to be a part of Claudia’s life as more than her friend.

On Monday, Claudia prepared and honed her arguments to combat Elizabeth’s list of reasons why they’d not work and therefore should settle for a friendship. Not that a friendship with Elizabeth would be considered settling. She’d love to be Elizabeth’s friend, but if more could be on the table, Claudia wanted that. Badly.

They were reserved at work all day, with the understanding that the professional setting caused this, not any negative attitude by either woman. When Claudia left her office shortly after five and saw Elizabeth’s light still on, she rushed over. She had wanted to be patient and allow Elizabeth to determine when and where they’d talk, but the need to tell her about meeting Tom urged her forward.

After entering Elizabeth’s office, almost storming in there with a single-minded purpose, she halted, suddenly tongue-tied and unsure.

“What is it? Are you alright? Did something happen?” Elizabeth jumped out of her chair and rushed toward Claudia, who still could only stare at her with wide eyes.

“Claudia!”

She shook her head. “Sorry, I just… I’m OK, but…”

“What?”

“I saw Tom.”

Elizabeth’s eyebrows rose. “I don’t…”

“I told him I’m pregnant,” Claudia continued, taking Elizabeth faltering as a request to keep talking. “Much like you said, he doesn’t believe he’s the father, and even if he is, he wants nothing to do with the child.”

“And…that disappoints you?” Elizabeth swallowed hard.

“Yes!”

Elizabeth’s face fell.

“No! I mean, I’m disappointed or—more like insulted—that he didn’t believe it’s his child, but no. I’ve told you I don’t want him in the baby’s life. And that’s likely super selfish, isn’t it? But all I felt was relief because…because him out of the way, you’d be more likely to agree to be with…me.” Her voice broke.

“I’m not sure what—”

“You said you wanted him out of your life, right? That’s why you ended things. Back then.”

“Yes, but I thought we’d cleared that up. It’s not feasible, and I’m in a much better place now. I don’t want him in my present or future, but I also understand he’s the father of your child. If I want to be with you, it’s unlikely I’ll never run into him.”

“And that’s OK?”

Elizabeth sighed. “I’ve made peace with the Tom situation, so it’s not an issue. Honestly, I’m glad you told him. It was another unknown hanging over…us.”

“That’s why I did it. Well, why I did it now. I’d been putting it off because it doesn’t matter to me, but that doesn’t mean it won’t matter to the kid, you know? But for us, I felt this needed to be out there.”

“You told him about us?” Elizabeth’s voice sounded shrill.

“No! Of course not. There isn’t an us yet officially, and besides, I’d never… It’s not something I’d unilaterally do. We’d have to talk about it first.”

“Good. It’s none of Tom’s business, but I agree. It’s something we should discuss beforehand. Still, I’m sorry he acted this way. He’s a total arsehole for not believing you.”

Claudia smiled. “So now that’s cleared up, can there be a continuation of what we started on the balcony?” she asked with a grin. She loved the look of a flustered Elizabeth when her cheeks flushed and she became all shy. Claudia hadn’t realized before she had the power to affect her in this manner, but since she caught on, she struggled to resist temptation.

Elizabeth cleared her throat. “Right, that. Uh, I still think we should continue our conversation first.”

Claudia sighed. Just what she’d been afraid of, and even though she had prepared her arguments, she still worried. “Here?”

“I was going to invite you to my place on Saturday and thought we could talk there.”

“A whole week? You wanted to wait an entire week?”

Elizabeth chuckled. “You really are impatient.”

“Well, yes. So? The office is pretty much deserted now, so I doubt we’ll be interrupted. We could head to my place and talk there.”

“I’m not sure it’s smart for us to be alone in a private setting right now,” Elizabeth said. “At least not until we’ve had this conversation.”

“Oh, I’d behave.”

“Yes, but who says I’m worried about you?”

Heat slushed through Claudia, and she had to close her eyes for a split second. “Wow. OK. So, let’s talk. Here. Now.”

“All right.” Elizabeth looked around her office. “Coffee?”

“No, thanks. I’m good.” The last thing Claudia needed was caffeine. Her body seemed liable to go on strike and knock her unconscious given her nerves were already acting like she was about to careen down a rollercoaster without a seatbelt.

“Let’s sit.”

They settled on the couch, and at first, they only stared at each other, both seemingly unsure of what to say.

Claudia started at the same time Elizabeth did.

“OK, so I…”

“You might…”

They smiled at each other, then Claudia said, “You should start.”

the age of insecurity

Elizabeth had had it all planned out: how she’d cook for them, they’d sit together, eat, and eventually talk things over. They’d decide how to move forward and how to handle everything, how to overcome the issues still standing between them, even if most of them were in Elizabeth’s head. Naturally, and as had been the story of her life recently, Claudia had upended it all. While the age difference still worried her, the first thing she’d wanted to say related to something else.

“You might have gotten the wrong impression of me on the balcony,” Elizabeth said.

“Oh?”

“I’m not usually so…forward.” Elizabeth refrained from cringing. Was she going to talk to Claudia about this now? Just because it had been her first impulse, didn’t mean she had to follow up on it.

Claudia smiled. “You’re not in the habit of snogging your employees in dark corners during Christmas parties?” she teased.

Elizabeth frowned. “No. And on that note, I’m your boss.”

“Yes. You are.”

“Don’t you think that will complicate things?” Yes, a much safer topic.

“Perhaps, but there’s a simple solution,” Claudia said.

“Will you enlighten me?”

“I told you I’m prepared to shoot down your every argument. You can delegate. Put Tilda in charge of me, so you won’t be my direct supervisor.”

Elizabeth tilted her head. How odd that Kat and Claudia had ended up with the same idea. “It could work. However, it’s my charity, and even with Tilda in charge of you, I’d still oversee her. Wouldn’t you always have to assume she’d do whatever I wish?”

“I suppose. But I’m not worried.”

“How so?”

“I can’t picture you retaliating. Just consider…Tom. You had the means to ruin him, but you didn’t do a thing.”

Elizabeth leaned back against the cushion. “I’m making him pay back the money I invested in his partnership, even though I don’t need it.”

“Rightfully so. He cheated. Would you have insisted on the money if you guys had split because your relationship no longer worked?”

“Of course not.”

Claudia smiled. “Again, not worried.”

Elizabeth shook her head. “So, you’d…trust me not to abuse my position?”

“Yes. But again, we could have HR draw something up to make you feel more secure, I guess.”

“What about you? Wouldn’t it make you also feel better?”

“No. Either I trust you or I don’t. And if I don’t trust you, why would I be your friend, much less want more?”

Elizabeth swallowed hard. “And you do?”

“Trust you, yes.”

“No, I meant…”

“Oh, yes. I want you.”

Elizabeth ducked her head, biting her lip. How could Claudia just sit here and say such things like it was nothing? Meanwhile, Elizabeth didn’t know what to say or do, and her body… Let’s not go there. “All right,” she finally managed to say.

“So, what’s your next issue?”

“I’m not sure the work situation is resolved. There’s still—”

“I have no doubt you’ll investigate further and all, but it can work, well, if we want it to. And that’s the crux of this, isn’t it? Do you want me?”

Elizabeth flushed. “The balcony incident speaks volumes, doesn’t it?”

“Being physically attracted isn’t the same as wanting to be with someone long term. I’m not up for games or short-term flings. It’s no longer just me.”

“Physical attraction isn’t…easy for me.” Of course, she’d find herself back there.

Claudia canted her head.

“I…” She ground her jaw. “It’s hard to explain and quite embarrassing.”

“We don’t have to discuss it. Or at least, not now. You can tell me in your own time, or not. I don’t need you to bare your soul.”

Elizabeth smiled. “You’re annoyingly sweet and understanding sometimes.”

Claudia chuckled. “Isn’t that a good thing?”

“It’s disarming.”

“Again…”

Elizabeth sighed. “Yes, and I’ll take your raincheck.”

“OK, good.”

“I’m serious about you, about us, if we manage to establish a relationship that works. And I know this includes your baby.”

“But you said you couldn’t imagine running after a ten-year-old when you’re, as you said, ‘nearing sixty.’”

“Well, you informed me you don’t run after ten-year-old children anymore.”

“True. But what does that mean?”

“I know you’re a package deal, and I wouldn’t have kissed you if I wasn’t aware of it.”

Claudia smiled one of those smiles where Elizabeth’s body seemed to believe someone sat on her chest and held her heart in a vise-grip.

“That was the biggest issue, or my greatest fear. That you want me, but you can’t see a life with me because of my child.”

“I understand.”

“What is your biggest worry? Or was it work?”

“Work is a major one, but your idea, which incidentally is also something along the lines of what Kat suggested, might work.”

“I could look for another job,” Claudia said. “Though for the record, I might like your rude friend after all.”

“I’ll be sure to tell her.” She held Claudia’s gaze. Then, after a beat, “I thought you liked your job. Would it be so easy to leave?” She hated the idea of Claudia not working at Helping Hands. Not just because she was fantastic at her job and replacing her would be a headache, but she enjoyed seeing Claudia every day, working with her.

“I love my job,” Claudia said.

“But then why—”

“Because I won’t let it stand in the way of a potential future with you. There are other jobs out there I could enjoy as well. I don’t want to quit, but if it comes down to this job or you, well, it’s not a contest.”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened. She wondered if this had ever happened before, someone choosing her when no choice yet existed—a preemptive decision, unprompted.

“You seem surprised.”

“I am.” Surprised was an understatement of epic proportions. Elizabeth’s professional life had always flourished, but her personal life had been a different tale.

“I’m sorry if it’s too much or too soon. We’ve been through a lot, and in a way, honesty is the only thing that saved us. I want to keep it that way. And I’m…all in, if you are, but I understand if you need more time or if you want to think about it some more, and—”

“I’ll be fifty in four years.”

Claudia’s mouth opened, then closed. “Yes. Math has never been my favorite subject, but—”

“Be serious!”

“I am! I take it that’s your biggest concern?”

“Rationally, yes, and don’t you dare wash it away with, ‘age is just a number,’ again.”

“First of all, that’s not what I meant,” Claudia said. “Second, I swear I wasn’t joking. I take you seriously, and this includes your worries, even when I don’t share them. You just surprised me, and my go-to reaction when feeling unsettled is humor.”

“All right.”

“Let’s start from the beginning. What exactly about our age difference is bothering you?”

Elizabeth’s brows furrowed. “The age difference.”

Claudia chuckled. “All right. What’s an acceptable age difference?”

“I never contemplated this before…you, but I’d say five to ten years in either direction.”

“If we met when I was eighteen and you were twenty-eight, would that have been all right?”

“I was thirty-six when you were eighteen.” Elizabeth flinched. “That makes it sound even worse.”

“Humor me. Let’s imagine we were only ten years apart, and we got together when I was eighteen. Would that have been fine?”

“Of course not.”

“But you said a difference of five to ten in either direction is acceptable.”

Elizabeth pinched the bridge of her nose. “There’s still a difference between the ages we’re looking at. I’m not sure I’d have dated you if you were eighteen when I was twenty-two, but I’d have dated someone who is thirty when I was forty.”

“Right. I agree. But I’m almost thirty, and you’re not that far from forty, so shouldn’t it be fine then?”

Elizabeth laughed. “I’m not sure I’ve ever heard a twenty-eight-year-old refer to forty-six as close to forty.”

“Well, I’ll be twenty-nine next month, and you turned forty-six this summer, so for a while, we’ll be only seventeen years apart.”

“And that’ll make all the difference?”

“Mmhmm, definitely.”

“Again, you’re silly.” She didn’t understand the lightness Claudia brought to her life, even in serious situations, yet Elizabeth doubted she’d ever tire of it.

“Yes, but not childish. Look, I get it. And if I were twenty and you thirty-eight, I might say you have a point. So many things change in your early twenties. Sure, you’re more settled than I am, especially professionally, but we’re not worlds apart.”

“No. We’re not.” She’d never thought they were. Sometimes she wondered if her objections were more an aspect of socialized expectations instead of an inherent problem.

“Do you think of my age when we’re together?”

“No. We’ve always seemed the same, at least once we started interacting.”

Claudia smiled. “I feel the same.”

“But I’ll be in my sixties when you’ll be in your forties.”

“And?”

“Doesn’t that bother you?”

“All I hear is you believe our relationship has a future, and to be honest, I only feel happy about that.”

“I suppose this is one way to look at it.”

“I mean, I also have struggled with how different we are socially and financially, but it never seemed to matter in our interactions, and—”

“It doesn’t.”

“Just like the age difference doesn’t matter.” Claudia raised her eyebrows.

Elizabeth sighed. “I guess I mostly worried our age difference will doom us because we want different things out of life.”

“From what I can tell, we want the same. The child is obviously the biggest change, and they’ll affect everything, but I love the idea of a quiet life with you.”

“Yes. Though stillness might not be realistic once the little one arrives.”

Claudia chuckled. “True, but that’s not what I was talking about. Peaceful. A settled life of… I don’t know, contented togetherness?”

“I’d like that.” Elizabeth’s heart felt warm and full. Could they truly have this?

“Now, you said rationally the age difference was your biggest issue. What’s the other one?”

Elizabeth drew her hand over the seam of a pillow. “It’s just… I don’t think I’ve ever… It sounds so stupid.”

“Is it the woman thing?”

Elizabeth waved her off. “No, I don’t care about that. Although I’m sure my mother will have a field day, given she’ll once more get not to say, ‘I told you so,’ while making clear she did indeed tell me so.”

“Then what is it?”

Elizabeth lowered her head. “I’ve never found myself so preoccupied by another.” Her heart picked up its beat, but if Claudia could be this brave, so could she.

“Oh,” Claudia breathed. “Me neither.”

“You don’t have to say that.”

Claudia frowned and shuffled closer, grasping Elizabeth’s hand. “Hey. I mean it, OK?”

Elizabeth caught Claudia’s gaze.

“I wouldn’t lie about this or try to sweet-talk you, or however you call it.”

Elizabeth snorted.

“I’m serious. I’ve been in love before, so I’m not saying it’s completely new or whatever. But it differed from the start. We connected so effortlessly, and I’ve had the urge to be close to you from the beginning, despite everything standing between us.”

“I’ve never failed at keeping my distance before.”

“That’s a good thing, isn’t it?”

“I suppose,” Elizabeth grumbled. She’d have picked exasperating, but…

“Then why are you upset?”

“It’s not… I’m not upset, just a tad worried. This has so much potential to be devastating, and—”

“Why are you already worrying about the end of a relationship that’s just beginning?”

“It’s not an active disquiet. I don’t agonize over it. It’s more the awareness that what we have is already strong enough to hurt, and when we stopped speaking, it…”

“Yeah.”

“And we were friends then. So it goes to reason it would be much worse if things fell apart after we’ve been more.”

“Isn’t that life, though? Besides, you never know what’ll happen, so wouldn’t it make sense to just make the most of every day and enjoy a good thing for as long as life allows you?”

“You’re pretty wise for your age,” Elizabeth said, her eyes full of mirth.

“What can I say? An old, wise lady must have rubbed off on me. Or better, will be rubbing me off. Wait. Isn’t that British slang? No, you guys use wank, right? But that’s just for men, isn’t it?”

Elizabeth dropped her face in her hands and groaned. “You’re killing me.”

of hunger and clothing

They exchanged text messages during the rest of the week, with Elizabeth asking Claudia if she was truly all right with coming to her place on Saturday or if she’d prefer to meet at her apartment. Claudia wasn’t surprised Elizabeth favored the comfort of her home after their emotional discussion, and she didn’t mind. Whatever made Elizabeth feel more secure was a plus in Claudia’s book. Neither suggested a phone call, as they both felt all-talked-out (Claudia assumed), and texting was much easier.

At first, their interactions were benign and even a bit awkward. How did you act after making out and wanting more—would have had more if not for Elizabeth’s overnight guest—and then having an ‘all cards on the table’ discussion about fears and worries? Especially since Claudia doubted Elizabeth made a habit of such conversations. Then, sleepy and overcome with the desire to be close, one of Claudia’s texts changed in tone and content.

I miss your taste.

When Claudia realized she’d not just thought this but had written it, all tiredness vanished, replaced by reckless mixture of alarm and excitement. Her heart seemed to spasm in her chest when the three dots of Elizabeth typing appeared. Should she send an apology? But she wasn’t sorry. Although she didn’t want to push Elizabeth out of her comfort zone either. Of course, Elizabeth had initiated their first kiss, and after their talk, they seemed to be on the same page.

Perhaps you can refresh your memory on Saturday.

Claudia groaned and fell back on the bed. She hoped she’d survive Saturday. Hell, she hoped she would make it through the rest of the week.

She did, in fact, manage to get through the week, though along the way, she found herself in an almost perpetual state of low-key arousal. Their messages never crossed into sexting, however, they were innuendo-laden enough to keep Claudia on her toes.

Saturday arrived, and with it, Claudia rang Elizabeth’s doorbell, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet in her sneakers. She’d packed an overnight bag but since they hadn’t talked about her staying the night, she left it in her trunk. She didn’t want to seem presumptuous, but well, she had hope.

“Hello.” Elizabeth opened the door, sounding as breathless as Claudia felt.

“Hi.” Claudia did the stupid little wave thing, but before she could roll her eyes at herself, Elizabeth reached out and pulled her into a tight hug. Claudia smiled and squeezed Elizabeth before stepping back. “How are you?”

“I’m fine. How about you?” Elizabeth was dressed in a pair of black leggings and a crème-colored blouse. Her hair fell in loose curls over her shoulders and her face was devoid of make-up. Her eyes crinkled with warmth when she smiled.

Claudia had to refrain from pulling Elizabeth back into her again, so she stuffed her hands into the pockets of her blue jeans. “Good, good.”

Elizabeth closed the door and strode further inside. “Are you hungry? Do you want to talk, or…” Elizabeth trailed off, halting in the middle of the foyer. She seemed so aimless and almost fragile, Claudia couldn’t help but step closer, filled with the urge to reassure her.

“I’m not hungry and kinda done talking.” She raised her hand and trailed a finger from Elizabeth’s temple down her cheek. “I missed you.”

Elizabeth sighed softly. “I missed you, too.”

Claudia’s heart sped up. “You’re so beautiful.”

Elizabeth released a puff of air and leaned into Claudia’s hand. “You’re ridiculous,” she whispered.

“Why?”

“I’m neither dressed up nor am I wearing a lick of make-up.”

“I know.” Claudia tilted her head, holding Elizabeth’s gaze. “My favorite look on you was my clothes after the coffee spill, or your lounging wear at home. Besides, you look absolutely lovely in the morning.”

Elizabeth closed her eyes and groaned. “Not the Christmas dinner outfit?”

“That dress was something else, but no. I prefer you…dressed down, I suppose.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been with anyone who felt that way.”

“Their loss.”

“You sometimes make everything seem so easy.”

Claudia released a chuckle. “Now, no one has ever said that about me.”

“Their fault.”

“May I kiss you?” Claudia asked, and when Elizabeth nodded, she ducked her head and connected their lips in an achingly soft kiss that deepened as Elizabeth tugged her closer.

After a breathless moment, Claudia remembered they were still standing in the entrance hall. At the same time, Raji made an appearance and snuck around their legs, purring. Claudia pulled back. “Can we take this someplace else?” she asked, her voice sounding almost hoarse.

Elizabeth bit her lower lip. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. Unless you don’t want to. We can wait. I want you, and you know it’s not just physical, so—”

Elizabeth silenced her with a hard, quick kiss before grasping Claudia’s hand and pulling her toward the bedroom.

Anticipation coiled in Claudia’s stomach, nerves scurrying down her frame as they reached the bed and Elizabeth settled on the mattress.

“You know, I made dinner for tonight.”

“Is it going to burn?”

“No. I’d turned the oven off right before you arrived.”

“Perfect timing.”

“Mmhmm.”

Claudia held Elizabeth’s gaze as she kicked off her shoes, grasped the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head. She dropped it onto the floor before reaching behind her back to unfasten her bra.

Elizabeth’s gaze remained glued on Claudia’s every move.

Claudia peeled the bra off her body and let it fall to join the shirt on the floor. Her hands dropped to the buttons on her jeans, opening one after the other. Heat rose and flushed her skin at Elizabeth’s burning gaze.

Elizabeth watched unblinkingly as Claudia slid her pants down her legs, shimmying out of them.

Claudia rose, now standing dressed only in her black panties in front of Elizabeth. “I feel underdressed.” She noted Elizabeth’s heavy breathing and parted lips.

“I… Yes. Right.”

Confidence surged in Claudia at the sight of Elizabeth so affected, and she stepped closer, right between Elizabeth’s legs. “May I?” She reached for Elizabeth’s blouse.

“Yes.” Elizabeth gaze refocused on Claudia who carefully undid the buttons and slid the garment off her shoulders.

Elizabeth shivered; a flush of pink blossomed on her cheeks as she licked her lower lip.

Claudia halted, entranced by the sight of Elizabeth’s tongue, yearning to taste her again. She leaned in, her lips a mere breath away from Elizabeth, who’d closed her eyes as her hands clutched the sheets. She worried Elizabeth’s lower lip, pulled at the soft flesh with her teeth before drawing back. “I want you naked,” Claudia pressed out.

Elizabeth pushed Claudia back and rose to shed her clothes in quick succession.

Claudia’s gaze traced the curves of Elizabeth’s body once she stood completely bare in front of her.

Elizabeth sat back down on the bed. “I’d say now you’re overdressed.”

Claudia scrambled to shrug off her panties and rushed closer.

When Elizabeth scooted farther back, Claudia followed, placing her hands on either side of Elizabeth’s head to hold herself up and keep their nude bodies separate.

“I don’t think you understand how much I ache to taste you,” Claudia breathed, hovering over Elizabeth, whose eyes fluttered shut. She was entranced by the fine contours of Elizabeth’s face and her long lashes.

“Don’t say stuff like that,” she rasped, trembling. Goosebumps pebbled across Elizabeth’s skin.

“Why?”

Elizabeth cupped Claudia’s cheek, stroking a thumb over her lips. “It leaves me breathless.”

Claudia smiled, kissing Elizabeth’s digit. “That’s good.”

“Kiss me.”

Claudia did, claiming Elizabeth’s lips in an ardent kiss. She loved Elizabeth’s taste, and she hadn’t lied. She’d dreamed about being with Elizabeth like this, and even though for the longest time she hadn’t believed her chances were high or even existent, that hadn’t stopped her imagination—picturing herself lying on top of a nude Elizabeth, just like now, trailing her fingers down, spreading her legs and—

Claudia broke the kiss and groaned when Elizabeth’s fingernails dug into her lower back. She pushed forward, pressing her groin against the juncture between Elizabeth’s legs.

Elizabeth pressed her head deeper into the pillow, exposing the straining sinews of her neck.

Bending her head down, Claudia once more licked into Elizabeth’s mouth.

Elizabeth scratched her nails up Claudia’s back.

She arched into the touch and once again broke the kiss. “Spread your legs for me,” Claudia croaked, her voice rougher and deeper than she’d ever heard it.

Elizabeth clenched her jaw and while holding Claudia’s gaze—her bright eyes intense, and almost timid—she widened her legs.

Claudia shifted down, nibbling at Elizabeth’s breasts before licking down her stomach. She trailed her tongue along Elizabeth’s groin, her hands anchoring her hips.

Elizabeth panted. Her chest heaved as her hands tightened their grip on the sheets.

Claudia ghosted a finger along Elizabeth’s labia.

Elizabeth trembled.

Claudia smiled, parting her folds. “You’re so wet and swollen.”

Elizabeth groaned and flung one arm over her face.

“You’re beautiful here, too.”

“Claudia, I swear—” Elizabeth’s words halted, and a broken sob tore from her lips when Claudia lowered her head and sucked Elizabeth into her mouth.

Digging her fingers into Elizabeth’s hips, Claudia pressed her deeper into the mattress as her tongue painted fast and hard circles over Elizabeth’s clit.

Elizabeth’s body grew taut, her knuckles paling as she moaned amidst the onslaught of Claudia’s tongue.

Claudia sucked harder before releasing the aching bundle of nerves and trailing her tongue down, licking along the labia and pulling one into her mouth.

Groaning, Elizabeth rocked her hips against Claudia, who’d now also added her fingers in the mix to massage Elizabeth’s entrance.

Claudia felt lost in touching Elizabeth so intimately, and her own arousal that had grown steadily now seemed like a contained ball of need, far away, yet still at the back of her mind as she shifted and sucked Elizabeth’s clit into her mouth again, flicking her tongue against the hardened nub.

Elizabeth gasped. “Go inside.”

Claudia closed her eyes for a moment, utterly overwhelmed. She pushed two fingers into Elizabeth’s sodden heat, overcome by the snug, velvet sensation of being inside her.

Elizabeth’s back bowed and a sheen of sweat glistened on her skin.

Claudia increased the speed of her tongue, lashing Elizabeth’s clit while picking up the tempo and depth of her thrusts. Heat coursed through her, and she felt almost blinded by the need to see Elizabeth fall apart.

Elizabeth writhed beneath Claudia; her eyelids closed as she moved along the rhythm Claudia set. A low moan spilled from her lips.

As Elizabeth arched up, Claudia tightened her grip and continued her ministrations.

Elizabeth’s body stiffened, trembling when a hard shudder rushed through her frame. She balled the fabric of the sheet between her fingers. “Claudia,” she called, her walls fluttering around Claudia’s fingers as a hard climax rippled through her body.

She continued lapping at Elizabeth’s heat while her fingers slowed, her movements growing shallow.

Elizabeth panted, then laughed. “Come up here.”

Claudia smiled, and releasing Elizabeth, she climbed up and sunk onto her hot, slick body.

Elizabeth pulled Claudia’s head down and kissed her deeply.

Claudia groaned, the arousal she’d been able to contain broke free, threatening to consume her.

bashful bewilderment

Instead of reveling in her post-orgasm bliss, Elizabeth needed to bring Claudia to similar heights she’d just returned from. She kissed her hard, sucking her tongue into her mouth and scraping her teeth over the muscle.

Claudia clutched her closer.

Elizabeth considered flipping them around but found herself too impatient to touch the waiting liquid heat between Claudia’s legs. When she slid her fingers through Claudia’s slick flesh, she moaned into the kiss.

Claudia shuddered, shifting as if seeking to sink onto her fingers. “Yes.”

A soft moan left Elizabeth’s lips at the conjured image, and she surged up, kissing Claudia harder while pressing two fingers inside.

Claudia gasped, breaking the kiss with a groan and sunk her face into the crook of Elizabeth’s neck, nuzzling at her skin while rocking her hips to match the rhythm of Elizabeth’s thrusts.

Elizabeth tangled her other hand in Claudia’s hair, and after a few more strokes, she pulled out and her fingers danced higher, circling Claudia’s clit in fast circles.

Claudia whimpered, her hands gripping the sheets as her hips followed Elizabeth’s fingers. “God.” She panted.

Elizabeth suppressed the urge to cant her hips up, too, and instead sped up her movements, adding pressure while changing the direction of her motions.

“Liz,” Claudia breathed.

Elizabeth shuddered at Claudia’s hot breath against her neck. “Look at me,” she whispered, turning scarlet at her request—in complete disbelief she’d uttered it at all.

Claudia lifted her head, and her gaze burned.

Elizabeth felt frozen in place, yet somehow managed to stroke Claudia higher, mesmerized by Claudia’s parted lips, the color high in her cheeks and her blown pupils.

Claudia’s eyelids fluttered.

“Stay with me,” Elizabeth pressed out, watching as she struggled to fulfill her request.

The long moan leaving Claudia’s lips shot directly to Elizabeth’s core, and she felt her own arousal coil. God, she needed more of her.

Claudia worried her lower lip, halting, seemingly frozen in place before a hard tremor rushed through her.

Elizabeth’s eyes widened and a surge of need coursed through her veins when Claudia tumbled over the edge and collapsed bonelessly on top of her. She caressed Claudia’s back, painting idle patterns on damp skin.

“I can’t believe I ever thought you were straight,” Claudia mumbled after a while.

Elizabeth chuckled. “I’ve never slept with a woman before.”

Claudia raised her head, her mouth opening before snapping shut. “Are you serious?

“Why would I lie to you?”

“No, no. I didn’t mean that.” Claudia rolled off Elizabeth but stayed snuggled to her side, resting her head on her palm.

“Oh, I know.”

“So, is it a recent development?”

“Being attracted to another woman?”

Claudia nodded.

“Perhaps. I’m not sure.”

Claudia frowned. “How so?”

“I’ve noticed attractive women before. And in retrospect, there may have been some…infatuations in the past, but I’ve spent no time contemplating sex with another woman or desiring it.”

“Until me, right?”

Elizabeth snorted. “Isn’t it obvious?”

“Just checking.”

“You’re silly.” Elizabeth shifted and pressed a lingering kiss on Claudia’s lips.

“So you keep saying.”

“Hmm. Yes, but I still don’t feel like talking.”

“You don’t, huh? Well, I wouldn’t mind hearing some more sounds from you.” Claudia drew closer until only a fraction of an inch separated their lips.

“By all means,” Elizabeth whispered.

Claudia smiled as she once more pulled Elizabeth into a kiss. She straddled Elizabeth, who groaned, her hands shooting to Claudia’s breasts.

~ ~ ~

Later that day, when they sat down to eat the meal Elizabeth had prepared, Claudia hardly seemed to come up for breaths between bites.

Elizabeth chuckled. “I’m glad you like the food. Do you have room for dessert?”

“That’s not a real question, is it?”

“Perish the thought.” Elizabeth rose to get the lava cake she’d prepared last night.

“Oh, my God, you didn’t!”

Claudia’s speechless expression when she placed the dessert on the table filled Elizabeth with joy and a slight sense of wonder. She’d never met someone without guile. “You appear to have worked up quite the appetite, and this seemed…appropriate.”

“So it had been your plan all along to jump me the moment I got here?” Claudia grinned.

Elizabeth’s eyes widened. “What? No. I just meant—”

“I’m messing with you. This week’s anticipation had me on edge, too. I doubt I could have enjoyed this delicious food right when I got here.”

“Indeed.”

Claudia took the first bite of the cake, the ganache leaking out onto the plate. “Oh wow. I’d marry you for this alone.” She moaned.

Elizabeth flushed and lowered her head.

“Hey. I’m sorry. I’ve noticed you seem a bit…shy at times? Is that the right word? I don’t know. I never would have used that to describe you before, but earlier, and now…”

Elizabeth sighed. No one had ever commented on this, and she thought she’d been good at hiding it. Leave it to Claudia.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“No, no. You didn’t. It relates to the raincheck you gave me on Monday.”

Claudia nodded. “I thought so. But it’s really nothing we need to talk about.”

“I agree. It’s not going to be an issue, but I would like to talk about it. If that’s OK.”

“Yes, of course.” Claudia put her fork down, half of the lava cake still on her plate, yet her entire focus rested on Elizabeth.

“You’re right. I’m not shy in my life. I’m not sure if I used to be and my job changed it, or if I just never was, and it only relates to…physical intimacy.”

“OK, there’s nothing wrong with it, though. Being shy, no matter how or in what situation.”

Elizabeth frowned. “Of course not. That didn’t even cross my mind.”

“All right, then I don’t understand what—”

“I’d like to change it, not because there’s anything wrong with it but because it’s exasperating and just doesn’t fit. But more than that, there’s…stuff I’d like to do or try, but I’ve never felt comfortable enough voicing any of it.”

“Oh?”

Elizabeth chuckled at Claudia’s rapt attention.

“I’m all ears.”

“That you are,” Elizabeth drawled. “I might need some time to sort it out in my head and talk to you about it. But I want that—the conversation and the…more practical side of things.”

“I’m very interested in both. So, take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”

Elizabeth smiled. “I like that.”

After dinner, they retreated to the living room, Claudia once more having bribed Raji, who head-butted her before sprawling on the floor in front of the couch.

“Cats are so weird.” Claudia sat down next to Elizabeth.

“That’s not how you get on my good side.”

Claudia waved her off. “I’d say I already am, given you let me lie between your legs and—”

“Claudia!”

“What?”

“You have a one-track mind.”

“Have you looked at yourself? Who could blame me?”

Elizabeth’s cheeks heated. Claudia truly would be the death of her.

a crowning hope

Claudia would never tire of flustering Elizabeth. Perhaps she felt the appeal so keenly because it occurred seldom and was a new facet since their friendship before hadn’t lent itself to it. Now, though, everything had changed.

On Sunday, they went for a walk along a nearby trail after lunch. Claudia loved running, but she rarely went walking just for the sake of it. A new scent seemed to waft around them, and the cool air sang on her skin.

“Do you do this often?”

“Go for a walk?” Elizabeth asked.

“Yes.”

“More so before the pandemic. I should get back to it.” She raised her head and gazed at the tree crowns above them, swaying in the wind.

“We could make a habit out of it,” Claudia suggested.

“You mean like watching Broken Time?”

“Yeah. Why not? At least until the little one makes an appearance and all I want to do is sleep.”

Elizabeth hummed. “True, yes.”

“I want to tell my parents. I mean, I have to soon. Right now, I’m not really showing, but I’m eighteen weeks in, and according to my research, my belly is gonna blow up soon.”

“What’s holding you back?”

“Disappointment. Teta’s especially. I’m not married, but I’m pregnant. Even worse, the father was…married.”

Elizabeth squeezed her hand. “I understand.”

“The thing is, I’m overall not scared about the pregnancy, the baby, or anything. But telling my family?” She released a harsh breath. “We’ve always been close, and I love that. I don’t think they’ll reject me or anything, but I’d still see it, the disappointment in their eyes, and I just can’t. Or I couldn’t, not while we were still up in the air.”

“That’s cleared up now.”

“Yes.”

“Do you think we will also be an issue?”

“Hmm, I don’t know. Like, I want to say no, but you never know. Still, I’m less nervous about sharing that news than the pregnancy.”

“Will you combine the two? Or better, will you tell them everything?”

“Oh, hell no. I mean, I’ll likely say the father was married, and I didn’t know, but I won’t connect it to you. That’s just…weird.”

“Is this a secret you generally want to keep?”

Claudia shrugged. “I don’t see why it’s anyone’s business. People won’t assume something like this. I mean, Kat and Sammy know, and I’m not ashamed or want to keep it a secret. It’s just… How will it even come up?”

“Good point.” Elizabeth pulled Claudia closer. “I haven’t thought much about it, but you’re right. It’s a part of our history that can remain dormant.”

“Until the little one asks,” Claudia said.

Elizabeth chuckled. “I somehow doubt it’ll be on their mind.”

“You never know. I’m a very curious person, and if the baby takes after me…”

“Too true. Have you decided if you want to know the sex?”

“I think so. The ultrasound is on the twenty-sixth. Wanna join me?”

“Do you have to ask?” Elizabeth shot a mock glare at Claudia, but fondness and affection were painted across her features, and Claudia wished she could bathe in them.

“No. I don’t.” She beamed.

Her answer seemed to mollify Elizabeth, and they continued their walk, chatting about lighter topics. All the while, a previously unknown contentedness settled over Claudia.

After dinner, Claudia suggested relaxing on the couch, clearly with an ulterior motive, as she right away pulled at Elizabeth.

Elizabeth followed Claudia’s tug and stretched out on top of her.

“How the tables have turned,” Claudia said.

“Did your plans include lying beneath me?”

“My plans included another visit of your talented tongue between my legs.”

Elizabeth tightened her jaw. “I see.”

“It’s been a while.”

Elizabeth chuckled. “Last night constitutes ‘a while’ now?”

“Yes.”

“In what world?” Elizabeth asked; her lips so close, Claudia could almost taste them.

“Ours.” Claudia lifted her head and kissed her. She nibbled at Elizabeth’s lower lip before deepening the kiss.

Elizabeth’s hands disappeared in Claudia’s hair as she sunk into a kiss that escalated quickly, leaving them both breathless. She broke the kiss to suck and lick at Claudia’s neck.

Claudia’s hands grabbed Elizabeth’s butt and pulled her closer. She needed pressure, already in utter disbelief at how fast her arousal skyrocketed in Elizabeth’s vicinity, under her touch.

Elizabeth shifted lower and pulled up Claudia’s shirt. “No bra,” she mumbled.

“Seemed wise.” Claudia’s reply morphed into a moan when Elizabeth’s searing mouth engulfed her nipple.

Elizabeth sucked the pebbled flesh into her mouth, scraping her teeth before swirling her tongue around.

Claudia’s hands shot to Elizabeth’s head, torn between pulling her closer and pushing her lower.

Before Claudia could decide, Elizabeth meandered south—kissing along Claudia’s torso—her fingers tracing the barely there bump of her stomach. She dipped her tongue playfully into her bellybutton before she reached the waistband of Claudia’s pants. “Lift your hips,” Elizabeth rasped.

Claudia stifled the urge to press her thighs together and instead followed suit, allowing Elizabeth to pull down her pants and panties.

Elizabeth rose and, without hesitation, shoved the clothes off the couch.

“Someone’s impatient.”

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes at Claudia as she settled between her legs, spreading them wider. She dipped her head and blew hot air against Claudia’s wetness.

Claudia gritted her teeth, pressing her hips deeper into the couch as anticipation twisted in her lower stomach.

Elizabeth’s hands clasped Claudia’s hips, anchoring her while she dipped her head and licked along her length.

Claudia panted, her fingers digging into Elizabeth’s scalp.

Elizabeth ran her tongue along her entrance in swirls before pressing inside.

Claudia groaned, her eyes falling shut. She forced herself to keep them open as watching Elizabeth between her legs left her lightheaded.

Trailing her tongue up, Elizabeth licked along her labia before sucking her clit into her mouth.

Claudia released Elizabeth’s head and instead gripped the couch. She bowed her head back, only for Elizabeth to suck harder before withdrawing. A soft whimper broke from Claudia’s lips, and she rocked her hips up.

Elizabeth added her fingers, running them through Claudia’s heat before she once more lowered her head and drew the hardened nub into her mouth.

Claudia groaned, sighing when Elizabeth entered her with two fingers, keeping up a fast rhythm while also speeding up her tongue. She arched her back as Elizabeth’s ministrations pushed her ever higher. “Liz,” she gasped.

Elizabeth moaned into Claudia’s flesh, and the sensation of it, coupled with the overall onslaught on her senses, soon proved to be too much.

Claudia trembled, arresting before she quivered when hard quakes rushed through her as she fell over the edge.

Slowing down her motions, Elizabeth continued until Claudia tugged at her upper arms. She shuffled up and kissed Claudia, who placed her hands on Elizabeth’s lower back. “Did that go according to plan?” she asked after ending the kiss.

“The first part, yes, but now I got to fulfill the rest,” Claudia said.

“Oh? And what’s that?”

“Making you come even harder.”

Elizabeth flushed.

“Where were we?” Claudia grinned. “How about we take this to the shower?”

~ ~ ~

Later that night, when they made their way to bed, Claudia sighed happily and pulled Elizabeth closer, placing a kiss on her hair. “What do you think about spending Christmas with us? My parents would love for you to join us.”

“You mean as your…”

“Friend. I know I said I’m not nervous about telling them, and it’s true. But I’m not ready yet… Is that OK?”

“Of course. It’s all incredibly new, and I like the idea of it just being between the two of us for now.”

“Me, too. But…”

“What?”

“I want to tell them. For the first time, I want to introduce them to my…girlfriend? Partner? Significant other? Do you have a preference?”

Elizabeth sighed. “Why did you have to bring logic and consideration to such a heartfelt statement?”

“Huh?”

“Never mind. I’ll get used to it.”

“You’re one to talk. As if you don’t jump topics! That’s how it all started, you complaining about catfish and talking about cats.”

“Well, the result seems worth it,” Elizabeth sniffed.

“That it is.”

Silence.

“So?”

“What?”

“Which one do you prefer?”

“You may introduce me however you wish once you tell your parents we’re together.”

“How gracious.”

“Thank you.”

Claudia groaned.

“What?”

“I’ll have to tell teta, too.”

“Come to think of it, I feel like it might be a conversation you should have on your own with your family.”

“Oh, no. Don’t you take that tone with me!”

“What are you talking about?”

“You went all diplomatic and appeasing. You need to make use of this skill when we talk to my family.”

Elizabeth groaned.

changes and irreverence

“No, no, baby. That doesn’t go into your mouth.” Claudia rescued her cell phone from Alice’s grip and saliva, pocketing the device after wiping it. “Look, let’s build another tower after Elizabeth rudely destroyed the last one.”

“Hey! It was an accident.” Elizabeth shot a mock glare in Claudia’s direction, who had the nerve to giggle.

“She’s right, little one. Elizabeth is quite clumsy.”

Elizabeth snorted. “She’ll learn who’s the clumsy one quickly, and it’s not me.”

“Oh, hush.” Claudia smiled at her and proceeded to build a tower of wooden blocks with her daughter who seemed more interested in tearing down the crooked construction.

After sharing her life with Claudia for the last eighteen months, Elizabeth realized she’d never had a genuine relationship before. Or perhaps she should say she’d never experienced a relationship that worked like this. Their friendship had been effortless, and while this was much easier for a friendship to achieve, she’d say their romantic relationship, so far, had also been easier than Elizabeth had ever imagined. She sometimes struggled to believe how happy she was, and how full of life and joy her existence had become.

They had signed additional documents for Helping Hands to ensure Elizabeth had no supervisory position over Claudia, and as such, Tilda handled everything work related. Nothing else much changed there. They still often had lunches together, and while they had had to endure some knowing and smug smirks from Tilda, it had all been worth it. Claudia had shaped up to be the best legal advisor they could have hoped for.

Claudia’s parents (and teta) had been more taken aback by the age gap than by the fact that Elizabeth was a woman. By the time they told them, Claudia and Elizabeth had been together for almost three months and had already spent quite a bit of time with the family. Kareem and Mona liked Elizabeth and only grumbled about being kept in the dark. Teta had proclaimed that at least Claudia wouldn’t have to worry about getting back to her stick figure after the baby, and since she had to ‘eat for two,’ teta kept piling more food on Claudia’s plate during their Sunday lunches. Since their announcement, Elizabeth was always welcome to attend these gatherings.

Elizabeth sometimes wondered if Mona and Kareem had still been reeling from the pregnancy announcement and the explanation of why the father was not and would not be in the picture, so that the shock of them being romantically involved seemed lighter in comparison. Of course, they could also still have been numb to it. At the same time, Mona and Claudia’s grandmother had been over the moon about the prospect of the new family addition.

Alice. Claudia had given birth to a little girl who, based on all the baby pictures Elizabeth had seen of Claudia, looked just like her mother. Life with an almost one-year-old who would soon start walking—bringing even more chaos to their lives—had been an adjustment, to say the least.

As promised, Tom wanted nothing to do with Alice, and after Elizabeth had convinced Claudia to petition for child support (why shouldn’t he contribute?) he’d demanded a paternity test. Claudia had been reluctant to press the issue, but Elizabeth had argued that he should have to finance part of the costs of having a child, since Claudia hadn’t created Alice on her own. As neither wanted a single cent of his money, they had opened a savings account for Alice and deposited each of his checks there.

Tom was also still making monthly payments based on their divorce settlement. Since he’d cheated, he owed Elizabeth the money he’d used to buy into the firm as a partner. Consequently, they both received quite a bit of his monthly paycheck.

They’d run into him at a local bar on a rare night out with Claudia’s parents watching Alice. She’d never seen someone flush such a deep shade of crimson before turning deathly pale upon learning of their relationship. Elizabeth wished she had a recording. He’d gritted his jaw before returning to his friends, never again glancing in their direction.

Claudia had moved in with Elizabeth when Alice was a few weeks old, realizing they wouldn’t see each other at all otherwise, not to mention it was much easier for Elizabeth to help with Alice and everything else. They had talked about moving in together before, but Claudia had hesitated, feeling she’d be living off Elizabeth. They’d had a few arguments, but Elizabeth had let it go, until one day, with Alice asleep, Claudia fell into Elizabeth’s arms and cried.

~ ~ ~

“What’s wrong? Are you alright?”

“I’m so tired.”

Elizabeth pulled her close. “Go to sleep. I’ll handle Alice when she wakes up.”

Claudia shook her head.

“You know I don’t mind. I want to help you and be there for both of you.”

Claudia wiped her eyes. “It’s not just that. I…I miss you, and…” More tears fell.

Elizabeth wiped them away. “What?”

“I don’t know how to balance everything, and I feel like a total loser. I just… I’m still hurting from the birth. Who knew it hurts to cough or sneeze, or even laugh after giving birth? And for so long!”

Elizabeth grimaced in sympathy.

“And I’m so tired all the time, and she… I love Alice, and it’s not her. It’s me.”

“It’s hard, and you’re by yourself when you don’t have to be. You don’t need to shoulder this alone.”

“But I can’t ask you to—”

Elizabeth pressed a finger against Claudia’s lips. “You’re not asking. I’m offering, and I’ve been doing that for a while now. I understand your independence is important to you, and I’d loathe to make you feel beholden or kept or whatever. But this is a partnership, right? We’re together, aren’t we?”

“Yes, but—”

“There are no buts. Things are never equal in relationships, but that doesn’t imply inequality. Everyone is doing their bit to keep things working, and sometimes one does more than the other. In the end, we both need to be happy with however we choose to live. Are you happy right now?”

“No. Yes. I’m both because I got you and Alice. My parents accept us, and I love my job, even though I’m on maternity leave right now. But I’m also completely overwhelmed, and I don’t know how to do this.”

“How can I help you?”

“I don’t know.” Claudia once more wiped her eyes.

“All right, how about I take care of Alice for tonight while you enjoy a long shower or a bath, eat something and go to sleep? I’ll place an order in a bit, comfort food, I’d say, so—”

“Pizza and lava cake?”

Elizabeth groaned. “Sure, you lunatic.”

Claudia smiled weakly.

“After you get some sleep, we’ll discuss this some more and find a solution.”

“You always do this.” Claudia’s voice sounded soft and almost full of wonder.

“Do what?”

“Solve problems you didn’t even create.”

Elizabeth cupped Claudia’s cheek. “Those are easier to solve than your own.”

Claudia hummed.

“There’s just one thing I’d like for you to keep in mind. I love you, and I love Alice. I’d love for us to be together more often, and again, I want to be there for you. That’s not me trying to pressure you or saying you can’t handle things on your own.”

“I know,” Claudia whispered, leaning in to press a soft kiss against Elizabeth’s lips. “I love you, too. I’m just scared of losing this, of losing us, because I can’t be there for you like before. What if you grow tired of me always having to prioritize Alice, and—”

“You need to prioritize a baby? What a novel concept.”

“Come on!”

“You seem to labor under the delusion I went into our relationship blind or with rose-colored glasses. I knew how things would go. And yes, I miss you and our quiet time together, but those moments will return. Right now, all that matters is that you and Alice are all right.”

“What about you?”

“I’ve been taking care of myself for a long time. I can handle it.”

“But I want the same, to be there for you, too.”

“You are, my love.” Elizabeth kissed her before shooing her to the bathroom. She ordered the food and tidied up Claudia’s apartment.

~ ~ ~

After Claudia had gotten some sleep, they’d talked more and decided life would be easier if Claudia and Alice moved in with Elizabeth, and so they had. Elizabeth had once more hired Pat Stewarts Home to create and decorate a beautiful nursery for Alice, which she’d revealed to Claudia and her family when they’d visited them one Friday afternoon. Claudia had cried, while teta had patted Elizabeth’s arm and called her a “Good egg,” causing a lump to form in Elizabeth’s throat.

Currently, they were discussing Alice’s first birthday party.

“Promise you won’t go overboard with the party or the presents. It’s not a Helping Hands event. Besides, Alice won’t remember it anyway.”

Elizabeth’s brows furrowed. “That’s no reason to slack. Alice will only turn one once, after all.”

Claudia canted her head. “That’s true for every age, no?”

“That’s beside the point. Alice will have a wonderful party. I know what I’m doing.”

“I don’t doubt it, and I love that you’re so into this, but again, just remember it’s not a star-studded celebrity event.”

“You give me zero credit.”

Claudia pressed a small kiss against Elizabeth’s lips. “That’s not true. I trust you, but I also know you and your relationship with money.”

“I won’t go overboard. I promise.” She wouldn’t—at least not too much.

“Good.”

“Also, need I remind you of my recent out-of-town work trip, where I was supposed to network at a conference with many people who could have become lucrative new sponsors for Helping Hands, and you were the one who’d overdone it?”

Claudia flushed.

Elizabeth knew it wasn’t embarrassment coloring her cheeks.

“That’s different. And you did attend the conference and networked.”

“On two hours of sleep.”

“Yes, but you can’t claim you didn’t enjoy it.”

Elizabeth ducked her head.

“I thought so,” Claudia exclaimed, sounding way too smug for Elizabeth’s liking. She’d do something about this later once Alice was asleep. Elizabeth still grew hot at the memory as well. Claudia’s earlier worries they’d struggle to reconnect after Alice was born had turned out to be quite unfounded.

~ ~ ~

Elizabeth was staying at a hotel during her important business trip, and she had to get up early in the morning, yet she lay here panting, covered in a sheen of sweat, throbbing, but not able to do a damn thing while Claudia’s voice on the phone drove her insane.

“Are you wet?” Claudia rasped in a tone that by itself would have made Elizabeth clench her legs together.

“You know I am,” she ground out.

“But you’ve still not touched your clit, like I asked, right?”

Elizabeth clenched her jaw. “No.”

“Good. I’m surprised by your willingness to drag this out.”

Willingness? Claudia had said she’d hang up if she were to…

“Are you still there?”

“Yes,” she breathed, barely stopping herself from pressing her thighs together. She needed friction, but she feared it would undo her. She’d not known arousal until she’d met Claudia, and now this infernal woman had her drowning in it, craving it. She ricocheted it through her veins like lava from Mount Vesuvius when it had buried Pompeii.

Yes, she was being dramatic, but they’d been at it for over an hour, and she’d been dancing on the edge for most of the time—thanks to Claudia sending her several risqué text messages earlier, while she’d been in a conference. Elizabeth had wanted to murder her or sink her face between her legs, and neither had been an option since they were so many miles apart.

“I love how you sound when you’re so turned on that you want to climb the walls.”

Elizabeth screwed her eyes shut, biting her lower lip.

“Where are your fingers?”

“Where you asked me to put them,” Elizabeth croaked. She had her index and middle finger splayed on top of her outer folds, opening herself up to…nothing.

“Good. Now, trace them down toward your entrance and coat them.”

Elizabeth shuddered and followed Claudia’s request. She felt swollen, sticky, and so hot that—

“Don’t go inside.”

Elizabeth groaned, but instead of pushing inside like she wanted to, she twirled her fingers around her entrance, massaging the sensitive flesh.

“God, I wish I was there.”

Elizabeth grunted.

“I’d spread your legs wider to lie between them and I’d kiss your thighs, lick up and down that place where your leg meets your hip, right next to where you want me the most, and I’d keep licking and sucking until you shiver with need.”

Elizabeth rolled her lips, stifling the moan that wanted to spill forth. She trembled.

“I love how you taste, but I treasure the anticipation, waiting until you can’t bear it anymore and are a second away from grabbing my head and—”

“Claudia,” she ground out.

“Go inside,” she rumbled.

Elizabeth sighed and shuddered when she pushed two fingers inside.

“Two or three?”

“Two,” Elizabeth said breathlessly.

“I wish I could see you. We should have video chatted instead.”

Elizabeth choked out a laugh. As if she could have handled seeing Claudia while they were doing this—her intense and intoxicating focus. Heat crawled up her neck and suffused her cheeks at the mere thought.

“Next time?” Claudia asked, and the hopeful lilt in her voice almost crumbled Elizabeth’s resolve. But she couldn’t.

“You wish.”

“I do. Much like I wish I could suck your clit into my mouth right now.”

“Oh, God.” Elizabeth’s eyelids fluttered. She pressed in and out, faster, but she craved pressure on her straining clit. “Please,” Elizabeth breathed.

Claudia sighed. “All right. We’ve drawn it out long enough. Touch yourself.”

Elizabeth hissed when she pulled out and her hand shot higher, rubbing her clit in fast, hard circles. She shook, arousal coiling low in her stomach—a tension that refused to ebb. Her body tightened and the fingers of her other hand clenched around the cotton bedsheets.

Elizabeth’s chest heaved, and she released the fabric to palm her breast. She moaned as she pulled at a stiff nipple.

Claudia panted.

The sound tore through Elizabeth like lightning, and she arched her back, wishing Claudia were here with her so she could feel her warm weight on top of her as she pressed her into the mattress.

Her fingers sped up. “Claudia,” she whispered.

“Are you close?”

Elizabeth could only whimper.

Claudia sighed. “I long to see you.” Her tone was so wistful it filled Elizabeth with warmth, a sensation unlike the blinding arousal rippling through her, more like a glow of contentment. Happiness.

“I wish you were here,” Elizabeth managed to say before her frame tightened and her body stretched, her toes curled as she stilled. A stuttered breath escaped, followed by a low groan as she quaked in a long climax—her nerves on fire until she sunk into a languid relaxation.

“I love the way you come,” Claudia said with a little sigh. “I could listen to you all day. I should record it.”

A sound of discontent left Elizabeth’s lips. “You will do no such thing.”

“Not a video. Just the sound.”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes, trying to cling to her bliss. “No,” she said.

“As you wish.”

Elizabeth smiled.

“Can you do me a favor?”

“What?”

“Where are your fingers now?”

Elizabeth swallowed hard, almost pouting when she felt her body stir. Really? “On my stomach.”

“Put them back.”

“Claudia, I have to get up early, and—”

“Please.”

Elizabeth closed her eyes, and against her better judgment, she dragged her fingers once more through her wetness. Her body twitched in response, and she held her breath, both excited and apprehensive about what Claudia would say next.

“You’re still wet, right?”

“Yes.” Obscenely so.

“All right, just coat your fingers liberally.”

Elizabeth did.

“Now taste yourself.”

Elizabeth froze, and her eyes widened.

“Put your fingers in your mouth and tell me what you taste like.”

Elizabeth feared her heart readied itself to crack open her chest and speed away.

“Elizabeth, are you there?”

“Yes,” she croaked, unmoving and with her hand still between her legs.

“You know I’d have my mouth all over you if I were there now. So at least tell me what you taste like.”

Elizabeth’s eyes fell shut. Claudia continued to be the death of her. She swallowed hard before raising her hand and sliding her arm upward. Gazing in wonder at her glistening fingers, she wiggled them, watching a gossamer thread stretch between her index and middle finger. “OK,” she said, before tentatively placing a fingertip on her tongue.

“And?”

Not bad, she supposed, though she much preferred Claudia’s flavor. “Tangy?”

Claudia groaned. “Why didn’t we turn on the camera? I can’t believe I’m missing this.”

Elizabeth chuckled. “Next time, dear.”

“Yes!”

with laughter and family

“You’re seriously not going to tell me anything else about Alice’s birthday party?” Claudia asked, her hands on her hips, staring at Elizabeth with wide eyes.

“No. I won’t. You said you trust me, so just…do that.”

“Just like that?”

“Yes. Just like that.”

Claudia pouted, trying to bribe Elizabeth with all sorts of temptations, but to no avail.

To be honest, she remained a little scared of this event.

The day finally arrived and started with Claudia and Alice being ushered into the bedroom after lunch and not being allowed to leave until Elizabeth had finalized the party prep. She’d brought them snacks, along with Claudia’s laptop and tablet, as well as a box of toys for Alice.

“I hope she’s not going completely nuts, little one.” Claudia tickled Alice’s belly.

Alice giggled, stuffing two fingers into her mouth, which immediately resulted in drool seeping out and dribbling down her chin.

Claudia sighed and picked up a cloth to wipe her face and neck. “Poor baby.” Teething truly was a bitch.

Life with Elizabeth had turned out better than she’d hoped. She shouldn’t have worried about her family’s reaction. They’d all been more upset with Tom for having betrayed his wife, and for misleading Claudia. According to teta, he wasn’t a good man, and he’d taken advantage of her granddaughter.

Much to Elizabeth’s utter frustration, Claudia still insisted on contributing financially to their cost of living. Since Elizabeth owned the house, there was no mortgage or rent to share, so Claudia opted to cover half of the groceries, all streaming services, and the internet. She’d even offered to pay some utilities, but Elizabeth had glared at her before opening her laptop, typing furiously, and pushing it in front of Claudia.

“What you see here is one of my bank accounts—the one with the lowest balance.”

Claudia blanched and shut the laptop. “OK. You have a point.”

“Thank you.”

Money hadn’t been an issue between them again, and Elizabeth never made it seem like Claudia owed her nor reminded her that she covered most of their living expenses. They’d fallen into a comfortable routine since Claudia had moved in with Alice.

Claudia tried to push the memory of Alice’s birth out of her mind. She had vowed, out loud, “Never again,” to which Elizabeth had only replied with “Amen.” Claudia wasn’t sure how to take that, but she supposed one child was more than enough for Elizabeth, and Claudia wholeheartedly agreed. She probably could handle another once Alice reached the age of three or four, and while the pregnancy itself had been fine after her thankfully short-lived bout of nausea, she’d never ever wanted to give birth again.

She supposed they could adopt, but Elizabeth would likely remain in the “no way” column since she’d already complained about being “too old to race after a toddler.” Never mind that Elizabeth often seemed way more energetic than Claudia, and she did a lot of the work with Alice.

She’d picked Alice’s name because she loved how it sounded, but to be honest, it also reminded her of Elizabeth, though she rarely called her Liz. Not that Claudia had mentioned the association, but Elizabeth was clever enough, and Claudia vividly recalled her stunned expression when she’d told her the name she’d chosen for her daughter.

In the end, Claudia’s family was complete, and she sometimes stared at them in wonder, overcome with both joy and disbelief, the latter especially pertinent when she recalled the circumstances of their beginning. If someone would have told her where she’d be not even two years after discovering Tom’s secret, she’d have asked them what they were smoking.

Elizabeth’s mother had been…another adventure. Claudia still couldn’t believe Elizabeth had told Mary about their relationship via email. Why she’d been surprised to receive a call from her mother in the middle of the night (early morning in England) where Mary had raved and ranted about Elizabeth being inconsiderate and rude, Claudia didn’t know. It wasn’t as if Elizabeth didn’t know her mother. After that headache-inducing (for Elizabeth) call had ended, Elizabeth had dryly informed her that, “Mother says hello. She wants us to join them next Christmas. Not this one, as too many of her friends will be in attendance.”

Claudia had blinked rapidly, nodded, and contemplated the likelihood of the world ending before next Christmas, and how much she should root for such a catastrophe.

Still, she loved the life they’d built, though she’d never be fond of the days of separation when Elizabeth had to go on networking trips for Helping Hands. Thankfully, there weren’t many, and some were close enough for a little surprise visit, like when Alice had been around six months. She’d given Elizabeth two full days to focus on work, but on the third day, she’d driven up to the hotel where Elizabeth was staying and managed to book a room as well. Her parents were babysitting Alice for the night—not that she’d shared the real reason for the sudden need for help, because Claudia had plans for Elizabeth. An entire headful of them.

~ ~ ~

She was only two rooms away from Elizabeth during their little phone escapade, and it had taken all her restraint not to head over there right away. She ached to touch Elizabeth. After Elizabeth’s unexpected agreement she might—one day—turn the video on during such moment, Claudia headed for room number 508 and knocked.

Elizabeth groaned. “Someone’s at the door.”

“Did you order room service?” Claudia asked in a low voice.

“Past eleven thirty? Why on earth would I do that?”

“You’re hungry?” She knocked again.

“I can’t have what I’d like to eat,” Elizabeth said with a rough chuckle that shot between Claudia’s legs. “Why are you whispering, anyway?”

Claudia heard footsteps nearing the door. “No reason.”

The door swung open.

“Surprise!” Claudia smiled and gazed at a speechless Elizabeth, dressed in a dark-blue satin robe she still clutched closed.

“What? I don’t… Alice?” Elizabeth frowned.

Warmth and annoyance rushed through Claudia in equal measure. Did Elizabeth think she had brought her along or left her home alone? “With my parents. May I come in?”

Elizabeth only held her gaze, never blinking or moving to allow Claudia to step inside. Her eyes darkened.

“Are you upset? I’m sorry—”

Elizabeth seized Claudia’s shirt and dragged her into the room, shoving the door shut with her foot before maneuvering (pushing, really) Claudia toward the bed.

Claudia’s legs hit the mattress as she stumbled to a stop. “I take that as a no.”

Elizabeth still hadn’t said a word.

“I brought you a surprise.”

“Oh?”

“Take a guess.”

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes. “Do you believe now is a good time to test my patience?”

Claudia stood straighter. Arousal had been thrumming through her veins over the last hour, and Elizabeth’s voice, tone, and her posture did nothing to alleviate her situation—quite the opposite, actually.

“No?” Claudia croaked.

Elizabeth’s answering devilish smile did funny things to Claudia, and she couldn’t decide what she wanted to happen.

Instead of saying anything else, Claudia dropped her bag and unfastened her belt.

“Oh,” Elizabeth gasped, the same word, but this time with a very different edge as understanding lit up her eyes. With a smug smile that truly shouldn’t appeal so much to Claudia, she stepped closer, preventing her from opening her pants. “You’re really going all out tonight.”

“I aim to please,” Claudia quipped, relieved she sounded less breathless than she felt, especially when one of Elizabeth’s fingers swiped over the stretch of skin visible below the hem of her t-shirt.

“That you do.” Elizabeth hummed, unbuttoning Claudia’s pants. “I can’t believe you’re already wearing it.”

“Like I said, I aim—”

“To please,” Elizabeth finished for her, pulling down baggy black pants. Her fingers trailed over the bulge of silicone beneath Claudia’s panties before peeling them off and helping Claudia step out of her clothes.

“Right,” Claudia almost stammered as heat pulsed through her. She was ridiculously wet.

Elizabeth rose and pulled off Claudia’s shirt before divesting her of her bra. She opened her own robe, still nude beneath it, shrugged it off and placed it on the bed. She smiled and grasped the strap, leaning in to nibble at Claudia’s lower lip before claiming her lips in a deep kiss.

Claudia shivered, and a hard tremor jolted her when Elizabeth’s fingers pushed against the silicone, adding friction that twisted the ache in her core. “God,” Claudia rasped, breaking the kiss. She embraced Elizabeth before reclaiming her lips.

“Let’s get you on the bed,” Elizabeth murmured, gently pushing Claudia to recline before climbing onto the mattress herself.

They lay next to each other, kissing, until Elizabeth’s fingers once more trailed to the toy between Claudia’s legs. She shifted it to touch the heat underneath.

“You’re so wet.” Elizabeth moaned.

Claudia grunted. “You were so hot on the phone.”

Elizabeth flushed. “Touch me,” she whispered.

Claudia cradled Elizabeth’s head, kissing her while she snuck her other hand between Elizabeth’s legs, groaning when she encountered searing, slick flesh.

Elizabeth shuffled closer and pulled Claudia to spread out on top of her.

“I got lube in my bag.” Claudia braced her hands on each side of Elizabeth’s head.

“Does it feel like I need any help?”

“No, but I wanted to make sure you’re…”

Elizabeth clutching the strap and sliding it toward her disrupted Claudia’s train of thought, and she stammered before following along, guiding her hips forward.

Claudia grasped the silicone and halted when she made contact with Elizabeth’s folds.

By now, Elizabeth’s hands had returned to Claudia’s back, and she scratched along her skin when Claudia pushed the strap inside, moaning, as her eyelids fluttered closed.

Claudia took in Elizabeth’s every micro expression, the way she squeezed her eyes shut, how her lips thinned as she pressed them together before they softened when she exhaled in a rush once Claudia pushed in deeper. Claudia’s gaze caught the strain in Elizabeth’s neck the moment their pelvises met.

Elizabeth gasped, eagerly seeking Claudia’s lips. Her nails dug harder into Claudia’s back once she picked up the pace of her hips, undulating in a fast-paced rhythm.

The end of the strap kept pressing against Claudia’s clit, adding to the relentless arousal thundering through her, leaving her breathless and panting. Their kiss grew sloppy.

Elizabeth’s hands on Claudia’s damp back slid lower and she squeezed her ass, pulling her impossibly closer while lifting her hips in sync with Claudia’s rocking movements.

“Faster,” Elizabeth ground out.

Claudia grunted but heeded the request. By now, their sweat-slicked bodies clung together, and Claudia feared she might lose her mind—pressed so close together, feeling Elizabeth’s breasts against her own. Her heart drummed in her chest, and she could swear she felt Elizabeth’s rapid heartbeat, too. She shifted to lean on her left forearm and slid her other hand down Elizabeth’s torso, pinching her nipple before meandering south. She found Elizabeth’s hardened nub and rubbed.

There was no finesse, just seemingly the perfect amount of pace and pressure at the right time as Elizabeth stilled under her, her mouth falling open and with it, a guttural moan spilled from her lips as she quaked in her release.

Claudia slowed her pumps and stilled her fingers. She drew back, pressing a quick kiss against Elizabeth’s temple when she hissed once Claudia pulled out fully.

Elizabeth hummed, and with a speed that wrenched a surprised yelp from her lover, she spun them around and crawled down Claudia’s body to settle between her legs.

“What are you…” The rest of her words dissolved into a groan as Claudia’s neck strained when she pushed her head deeper into the pillow. She spread her legs wider and tangled her fingers in dark curls when Elizabeth pushed the strap to the side and sucked Claudia into her mouth.

Elizabeth’s relentless onslaught careened Claudia, who’d been hovering close to the edge for a long time, toward a rapid release. The heels of her feet dug into the mattress and tension coiled in her body as liquid arousal wound through her.

“God.” Claudia trembled, shaking in a hard climax that thrummed through her bones.

Elizabeth released her and crawled up, pressing their lips together in a fervent kiss. She pulled back. “I still think you taste better.”

Claudia covered her eyes with the crook of her arm and groaned. She may have created a monster.

“Tell me, dear. Did you bring the other one, too?”

Claudia froze, removing her arm to stare at Elizabeth. She had. Just in case, given she’d been trying to fulfill one of Elizabeth’s fantasies, though tonight had started more with their usual fare. “Yes.”

Elizabeth’s face grew solemn. “Get it.”

Post-orgasm bliss forgotten, Claudia scrambled up and rushed to her bag to fish out a black, rectangular box. “Here.” She hesitated, placing the container to the side. She leaned closer. “Are you sure you’re not too tender?”

Elizabeth chuckled. She grasped Claudia’s hand and pulled it lower until Claudia’s fingers encountered molten, wet heat and swollen flesh. “I’m fine. Remember, you’ve had me on edge for over an hour, and now I want… You.” Elizabeth’s voice sounded rough as she leaned in and claimed Claudia’s lips in a bruising kiss.

Claudia surged forward, rolling on top of her lover. As much fun as the phone sex had been, it had nothing on what they’d just done and would continue to indulge in. She loved being this close to Elizabeth, not just to hear her breathy whispers and moans, but to feel her, to touch her, to smell the sweet scent of her skin.

Elizabeth groaned when Claudia’s fingers left her heat and ran up her torso, cupping her breast before rolling one nipple between her fingers.

Elizabeth shivered.

“I’ve missed you,” Claudia murmured after breaking the kiss, still so close that Elizabeth’s breath washed over her.

Elizabeth smiled. “I’ve missed you, too.”

They were being ridiculous, but she’d truly missed her. She always missed Elizabeth when she wasn’t near.

Claudia blindly reached for the box, even managing to unfasten it. Her hand grasped smooth silicone as she sunk into another ardent kiss.

Elizabeth shifted, spreading her legs wider. Her hands ran down Claudia’s back until she squeezed her butt, drawing her closer.

Claudia moaned at the sensation of their bodies once again pressed so close together. She’d never tire of this.

“Well?” Elizabeth asked before nipping at Claudia’s lower lip.

Claudia smiled, holding Elizabeth’s gaze—taking in her darkened eyes and parted lips. Sometimes it almost hurt to look at Elizabeth because Claudia didn’t know what to do with the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside her.

Elizabeth’s nails scratched harder along her skin.

“I’m surprised you’re so impatient,” she croaked.

“Do I need to remind you how long you left me waiting earlier?” Elizabeth husked.

“Fair point. However, in my defense—”

“Claudia?”

“Yes?”

“Shut up and…get to it!”

Claudia canted her head, a mischievous smile spreading over her lips. “Get to it?”

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes, and her nails almost stung.

Claudia arched into the touch. “Get to what?”

“Since when do you like to live so dangerously?”

Claudia shrugged. “I recall a time when you called me a puppy who’s all bark. Perhaps I’ve…evolved.”

Elizabeth chuckled. “Those were not my exact words.”

“No.” Claudia sucked Elizabeth’s lower lip into her mouth before releasing it. She freed the content of the container. “Again no lube? Shouldn’t I—”

“No. Just…”

“Get to it?”

“You’re a brat.”

Claudia shifted and positioned the short end of the toy between Elizabeth’s legs. “Are you sure? We’ve been quite busy tonight, and I hate the idea of hurting you.”

Elizabeth groaned and her hand snapped between her legs. She seized Claudia’s fingers, dragging her closer, effectively pushing the strap-on inside.

Both women moaned.

Claudia stared with wide eyes at the silicone spreading Elizabeth’s folds, filling her. She hadn’t gotten to see it like this earlier, and the sight did something funny to her insides. She felt almost punch drunk. “Do you…” Claudia’s voice broke.

“Yes,” Elizabeth replied, though Claudia didn’t even know what she’d meant to ask, too overwhelmed by the last hours and the current reality of Elizabeth about to—

Claudia’s thoughts came to an abrupt halt when Elizabeth once again spun them around.

Elizabeth shifted and adjusted the strap-on. She hovered over a now panting Claudia. “Do you need lube?”

Claudia shook her head.

Elizabeth connected their lips in a soft kiss while her fingers dragged through the abundant wetness between Claudia’s legs, drawing higher and rubbing her clit.

Claudia gasped, whimpering when Elizabeth’s fingers withdrew. She still felt so wired.

Elizabeth grasped the strap-on and shuffled closer, pressing the tip against Claudia’s entrance. She held Claudia’s gaze, and dipping her head, Elizabeth licked into Claudia’s mouth at the same time as she pushed the strap inside her.

Claudia arched as her hands clutched Elizabeth’s back, scratching down her damp skin and pulling her closer. She moaned once Elizabeth stilled inside her, fully sheathed. She sighed. They’d talked about this several times, but had never tried it before, and the feeling of Elizabeth on top of her, filling her like this, left her breathless with arousal coiling in her stomach.

Elizabeth kissed her again, but still didn’t move, seeming to savor their closeness.

“Liz,” Claudia pressed out. “Move.”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened and her cheeks flushed. She opened her mouth, but no words came out.

“You won’t hurt me.”

Elizabeth nodded but remained just as still.

Claudia cupped Elizabeth’s cheek. “Do you want to stop?”

Elizabeth shook her head wildly.

She pressed their lips together in a sweet, soft touch before breaking the kiss. Claudia’s fingers tangled in dark tresses, and she drew Elizabeth closer, whispering into her ear. “I really need you to fuck me, Liz,” she rasped.

Elizabeth froze, her body growing as taut as a statue before she released a shuddering breath. She kissed Claudia deeply, almost frantically, and began to move.

Finally! Claudia’s fingers gripped Elizabeth’s back, following her rhythm as she rocked her hips faster and harder into Claudia.

The room once again filled with the sounds of their bodies moving together, their pants and whimpers.

Elizabeth lowered her head, licking and nibbling at Claudia’s neck. Her hands cupped Claudia’s breast, rubbing a pert peak as she continued her deep thrusts.

Claudia groaned when heat and arousal sloshed through her, driving her higher. “God,” she pressed out.

Elizabeth’s hand meandered lower and pulling back, her fingers found Claudia’s clit. She massaged the swollen nub in soft but fast strokes.

Claudia’s eyes fell shut and she ground her hips up, torn between following the rhythm of Elizabeth’s hips or fingers. She could feel her release building again and just when she thought she’d crash over the edge, Elizabeth stopped, not just her fingers, but she pulled out, removing the toy all the way and put it to the side.

“What are you doing?” Claudia whined, still high, but starting to feel almost bereft.

“I need to taste you again,” Elizabeth murmured, kissing Claudia, and pushing her back down. She wasted no time—ending the kiss, Elizabeth rushed lower and settled between Claudia’s legs.

Claudia cried out when Elizabeth sucked her clit into her hot mouth, licking along her length. “Jesus,” she hissed, her fingers sinking into Elizabeth’s hair as she pushed her hips up.

Elizabeth chuckled, and the vibration only aroused Claudia further.

Claudia released Elizabeth’s head and gripped the sheets instead, her knuckles paling and her back bowing when Elizabeth pushed three fingers inside while picking up the speed of her tongue lashing her clit.

Elizabeth’s other hand grasped Claudia’s upper thigh to anchor them both.

Heat climbed and spread, and for a moment, Claudia lay suspended in tension she feared might snap her in half. She cried out when a barrage of shudders raced through her frame as an explosive release overcame her.

Elizabeth continued, never easing off Claudia’s clit nor slowing down her fingers filling her lover.

Claudia groaned, and sweat-slicked, she fisted the sheets, gritting her teeth as she allowed her body to rise again—a rapid sprint that saw her collapse a moment later, unable to utter a sound as her back bowed and she fell into another blinding peak. Tremors rushed through her, and she panted. “Stop,” she croaked, chuckling when Elizabeth pouted and climbed up, settling on top of Claudia.

“That was fun.” Elizabeth’s eyes shone brightly. “I don’t know why we never tried this before.”

Claudia hummed. She wasn’t touching that. “We should sleep. It’s quite late. I recall you complaining about needing to get up early, and it’s already way past three.”

Elizabeth shrugged. “Who needs sleep, especially when I can make you come?”

“There’s that.” Claudia grinned. She pulled Elizabeth down for another kiss.

~ ~ ~

Claudia recalled this trip often, and Elizabeth’s knowing smirk whenever Claudia’s stare turned vacant when that hotel night came up, did not help matters, though it had also led to some more interesting encounters. Overall, Claudia had been more than relieved that her fear of losing their physical connection had tuned out to be unfounded.

Claudia sometimes marveled at how much time had passed since meeting Elizabeth, since falling for her, and how much had happened in the meantime. And now, her girl was already turning one.

The party, to which Elizabeth led them after two hours of confinement, turned out to be…not what Claudia had expected. Elizabeth tended to go over the top sometimes, and she’d apparently made it her mission to spoil them rotten, but this set up was perfect.

Elizabeth had decorated the living room and kitchen with purple and blue balloons and streamers. A banner reading, “Happy 1st Birthday Alice!” hung on the wall, and she’d filled one table with snacks and treats. The kitchen island held food, some of their favorites for their guests. There were two birthday cakes, one smaller with lots of icing that included another birthday message for Alice, and a bigger one with fresh fruits on top of layers of biscuits and icing—Claudia’s favorite.

“Do you like it?” Elizabeth asked.

“Yes. It’s exactly what I wanted.”

“Really?” Elizabeth asked dryly. “I’m shocked.”

Claudia bumped into her, making Alice squirm in her arms and reach out to seize a strand of Elizabeth’s hair.

“Oh, no, sweetie. I know it’s your birthday, but that hurts.” Elizabeth grasped Alice’s hand and freed her hair.

The doorbell rang.

“Right on time.” Elizabeth strode to the door and invited their first guests, Claudia’s family. Even her cousins and her aunt and uncle attended. A little later, Sammy arrived, followed by Elizabeth’s canasta friends, Catherine and Sandra.

The party, a small gathering of family and friends Claudia had wished for, turned out to be a fun time for all. Alice ended up with half the cake on her face and the other half on the floor (there were some tears), and Elizabeth snapped endless pictures and recorded many videos of Alice and their guests.

After everyone said their goodbyes, Claudia gave Alice a quick bath (or not that quick as washing cake out of all nooks and crannies took longer than expected) and laid her sleepy baby into her bed. She stood there, with her hands on the frame, watching Alice’s chest rise and fall. Claudia couldn’t believe Alice was already one. Her life had changed so much and left her with a contentment that sometimes made her feel like crying.

“Hey.” Elizabeth startled Claudia out of her thoughts. She leaned against the doorframe, gazing at Claudia with a fond smile.

“Hey, yourself.”

“I put away everything that needed to go into the fridge, but I’m exhausted, and the cleaners come tomorrow to do the rest. I was wondering if you’d like to join me on the couch. We could watch the newest episode of Broken Time.”

Claudia frowned. “The new season doesn’t start until September.”

“Mmhmm, but Kat gave me a copy as her apology for missing Alice’s birthday party.”

“Really? Tell her she’s forgiven.”

“I’ll go set it up.”

“Be right out. I just want to take a quick shower.”

After her shower, the two of them cuddled up on the couch and watched the show.

Claudia groaned after the credits rolled. “I’m gonna kill Kat.”

“I thought she was forgiven.”

“I take it back! This ends in a cliffhanger and now we gotta wait until September or early October to see the next episode! Who starts a season with a cliffhanger?”

Elizabeth chuckled. “Good thing Kat is far away from your wrath right now.”

Claudia pouted.

“Did you have a good day?”

“It was perfect. Thank you.” She leaned close and kissed Elizabeth. “And Alice had a blast.”

“She did. To be fair, she has a blast when she can play with empty boxes. I swear this child is like a human cat.”

“Hey!”

“Please. You’ve turned into a regular cat person, too. I saw you coo at Raji and give him treats.”

“You saw nothing.”

“Right.” Elizabeth pulled Claudia close and kissed her forehead.

Claudia snuggled into her and pressed her hand against Elizabeth chest, feeling her thudding heartbeat against her palm.

They stayed like this for a while as silence filled their home. The rare stillness lulled Claudia into a relaxed drowsiness, heightened by Elizabeth’s fingers trailing lightly over her back. She felt herself getting heavy and released a small, pleased sigh. Sleep would befall her any second and she wondered if she should suggest retiring to the bedroom as Elizabeth didn’t like to sleep on the couch, when she blinked rapidly, unsure if she’d heard right.

“What did you say?” Claudia asked, suddenly feeling more alert than a mere second ago.

“I asked if you’d consider marrying me,” Elizabeth said, not looking at Claudia, her voice mostly controlled.

But Claudia had heard a slight wobble in intonation. She also noted the stiffness that suddenly filled Elizabeth’s frame.

“Are you asking me to marry you?” Claudia said, her eyes wide as she shifted to fully look at Elizabeth, whose eyes shone solemnly.

“Yes.”

Claudia broke out in a blinding smile. “Yes.”

Other Books from Ylva Publishing

www.ylva-publishing.com

Wrong Number, Right Woman

Jae

ISBN: 978-3-96324-403-2

Length: 116,000 words (370 pages)

A single text message can change everything!

Flirting has never been Denny’s strong suit, but so what if she’s too shy to ask women out? She’s content with her simple life, working as a cashier and helping her sister raise her niece.

But then she gets a wrong-number text message from a stranger named Eliza, asking her of all people for dating advice!

Eliza is Denny’s total opposite: witty, outgoing—and straight. Despite their differences, the accidental text sparks an unlikely friendship. Soon, Eliza—self-proclaimed queen of disastrous first dates—would rather banter back and forth with Denny than to keep trying her luck at online dating.

When they meet in person, there’s an instant connection. But what Eliza is feeling can’t be attraction, right? It doesn’t mean a thing that she’s starting to wish the guys she dates would be more like Denny. Or does it?

Can the wrong number lead to the right woman after all?

Wrong Number, Right Woman is a light-hearted, slow-burn lesbian romance that embraces likable characters without all the drama.

The Brutal Truth

Lee Winter

ISBN: 978-3-95533-900-5

Length: 108,000 words (339 pages)

Australian crime reporter Maddie Grey is out of her depth in New York, miserable, and secretly drawn to her powerful, twice-married, media mogul boss, Elena Bartell, who eats failing newspapers for breakfast. As work takes them to Australia, Maddie is goaded into a brief, seemingly harmless bet with her enigmatic boss—where they have to tell the complete truth to each other. It backfires catastrophically.

A lesbian romance about the lies we tell ourselves.

Eve Falls First

Fiona Zedde

ISBN: 978-3-96324-994-5

Length: 65,000 words (215 pages)

A light-hearted, age-gap lesbian romance about starting over and risking it all, even when you’re both old enough to know better.

Teacher Eve Marshall has just crawled out of a bad relationship and has no plans to get twisted up in another romantic mess. Except she never counted on meeting the jaw-dropping Scarlet Hunt.

Yoga instructor Scarlet has been focused on raising her daughter since her ex-wife ditched them both to pursue her Hollywood dreams. The last thing she expects is to stumble into Eve’s adoring gaze. The teacher at her daughter’s school is too young, too cute, and far too interested, so it’d be wildly inappropriate to ask Eve to tutor her daughter. Right?

As the risk of catching feelings hangs over them, a certain sexy Hollywood ex swaggers back into Scarlet’s life, needing one hell of a favor… How much more complicated can life get?

Presidential

Lola Keeley

ISBN: 978-3-96324-411-7

Length: 93,000 words (257 pages)

How can you find love when the whole world is watching?

High-flying pediatric surgeon Emily Lawrence is new to Washington DC. Her first week in her new job puts her on a collision course with the most powerful woman in America, President Calvin.

Constance “Connie” Calvin’s first term is proving turbulent thanks to trying to juggle work and life as a widowed single mother to a 12-year-old boy. Running for re-election is imminent, and the critics are gunning for her. Worse, her famed icy cool is in danger of melting in the face of Emily’s passion, commitment, and charm.

Admitting the rising sexual tension between the women is just the start. How can they act on it while in the public glare? Giving into temptation comes with such risk. In a world that lives and dies on opinion polls, what will the country make of them?

A charged, age-gap, lesbian romance that puts the power in power couple.

About Sabrina Blaum

Sabrina Blaum is a German native, who now lives with her family in east Alabama. She has taught English Composition for several years before deciding to dedicate her time and efforts to writing lesbian fiction. As a child, she used to tell her grandmother bedtime stories. She enjoys reading and spending time with her family and friends. Sabrina loves cats, and is a big proponent of kindness.

CONNECT WITH SABRINA

Website: www.sabrinablaum.com

Instagram: instagram.com/blaumsabrina

Bluesky: @blaumsabrina.bsky.social

X: x.com/BlaumSabrina

A Question of Sincerity

© 2025 by Sabrina Blaum

ISBN: 978-3-69006-037-0

Available in paperback and e-book formats.

Published by Ylva Publishing, legal entity of Ylva Verlag, e.Kfr.

Ylva Verlag, e.Kfr.

Owner: Astrid Ohletz

Am Kirschgarten 2

65830 Kriftel

Germany

www.ylva-publishing.com

Second revised edition: 2025

First edition by Babette B. Publishing (July 2023)

We explicitly reserve the right to use our works for text and data mining as defined in § 44b of the German Copyright Act.

No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are a product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to locales, events, business establishments, or actual persons—living or dead—is entirely coincidental.

Depending on your device, the text might be displayed differently from the publisher’s approved version.

Credits

Edited by Sarah Smeaton and Lenir Costa

Cover Design by Ronja Forelo

Print Layout by Michelle Ryan